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PAGE 20 THE SOUTHERN ISRAELITE March 21, 1986
.S^HbeadwzLes
...Jewelry Designed And Made By YOU!
REMODELING SALE
20-60% off All Merchandise
No other discounts valid with this sale
Sale prices thru Sat . March 29
The Balconies 843-8606
290 Hilderhrand Dr Mon. Fri. 10 5
1 (all Roswell Rd Ik Sat. 10 4.
J he Punchline)
I
FOR THE BEST I
OF BOTH WORLDS
Ron Weintraub
New and
Used
Cadillacs
Best of
Europe,
Jaguar
Hennessy Cadillac Jaguar
3040 Piedmont Rd., N.E.
Atlanta, GA 30305
261-5700
Dear JFS,
With the appearance below of "Dear JFS," The Southern Israelite is pleased to begin a new monthly feature
coordinated by Jewish Family Services Inc. Readers are invited to write JFS in confidence about problems
affecting their lives. Professional counselors will respond, either in this column or by mail. !\o names will appear
in the naner. —F.ditnr.
Dear J FS,
We are a happily married couple
(25 years) in our late 40s. Our last
child is out of school and on his
own. We have enough income and
we have been looking forward to
this time to “do our own thing," as
the kids used to say. Here is the
problem. My parents have just
retired. They are thinking of mov
ing to Atlanta. One of the reasons I
was happy about moving south
was that we get along better when
we don’t see each other that much.
I love them, but they can be so
controlling. They are in their 60s
and in good health. I am afraid if
they move here instead of staying
near mv brother and his family, we
will spend the best years of the rest
of our lives taking care of them.
My husband says it is up to me and
he will support my decision. His
parents have passed away. What
choice do I have?
Feeling Trapped
Dear Feeling Trapped.
Yours is not a unique problem.
Thousands of couples in similar
situations are faced with the same
choices every year. You don't say if
you have tried to directly share
your feelings with them. Or, if you
feel you can. Possibly an educa
tional group for couples and fami
lies with similar issues could sup
port you in deciding what will be
best for you and them.
Sincerely,
JFS
Dear JFS,
I am 25 years old and a college
graduate. I have had a hard time
getting and keeping jobs. My
employers say I'm a good worker,
but also complain I ask too many
questions. How else am I supposed
to learn? I live at home with my
mother. She and my father are
divorced five years. My mother
works, but never goes out socially,
unless it is with me. I’ve recently
gotten a job and have had it for a
few months. I want to save money
and move out. My mother wants
me to stay a while longer. I don’t
know what to do. Sometimes I am
angry and sometimes I am guilty.
If I leave she will be ail alone. I am
so tired of having to be her com
panion; yet, she would do anything
for me.
Ready to Go?
Dear Ready to Go,
There are many questions that /
would need to ask you before giv
ing a rc*.y or no answer. What does
your mother want to do for her
self? Do you see your father? What
do you do for fun? I can say it is
hard for all of us to decide what we
want, especially if our decision
may make someone we care about
unhappy. It certainly wouldn't
hurt to talk it over in person with
someone who can be objective.
Sincerely,
JFS
Dear JFS,
I am the mother of a 17-year-old
daughter. We have always had a
wonderful relationship. In the last
few months ever since she was
accepted at college in Maryland,
she has been provoking me. She
challenges everything I ask of her,
breaks her curfew and won’t tell
me where she is going, or when she
will be home. One night she stayed
out until 4 a.m. Then, she either
won’t talk or we end up in a fight.
My best friend’s daughter, who is
the same age, does everything with
her mother. I don’t understand. Is
there something wrong with her?
With me?
Confused in Atlanta
Dear Confused in Atlanta,
What you are likely experienc
ing with your daughter is her
response to the upcoming separa
tion that college will bring. Some
children cling, some pull away, and
often they do some of both. While
this is hard on you, it seems to be
fairly normal. If this continues,
you might want to seek profes
sional services to help both of you.
For right now, bear with her grow
ing pains and allow her the space
she needs to separate.
Sincerely,
JFS
We hope in this column to pro
vide a forum for your concerns, as
Jews and as individuals in a mod-
I
s
I
ern complex world. All letters are
confidential and will receive a
response either by mail or in our
column. We are looking forward
to the challenge of “Dear JFS” and
hope to become a helpful and
enjoyable part of your Southern
Israelite experience. Send all let
ters to: Dear JFS, Jewish Family
Services Inc., 1505 Peachtree
Road, N.E., Atlanta Ga. 30309,
(404) 873-2277.
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