Newspaper Page Text
Spelman Spotlight i Page 10
They Come and They Go...
But Only the Strong Survive
Long
Distance
Lovers
By Stephanie Jackson
Relationships are hard enough
when the couple is within a 10-mile
radius of each another but when there
are hundreds of niles separating the
couple, every prob em can turn into a
catastrophe becaus; of the distance.
Several students in the Spelman
community willingly deal in
relationships where not only are there
the normal misunderstandings and
mishaps but thes' situations are often
intensified because the other person
who is involved is no where in the
immediate vicinity.
According to Rhea Gordon,
Director of Counseling at Spelman,
"Long distance relationships are hard to
endure mainly because there is no
everyday contact or communication."
She said that anxieties and
insecurities are often involved in
relationships but these problems are
only heightened with the distance.
Tara Williams, a senior math major
who is involved in a long distance
relationship said, "The relationship has
its good and bad points. For instance,
Continued on page 12
By Marian L. Batts
Relationships are not easy to come
by. They are shaped and nurtured into
being. I know because for the past
seven years I have nourished mine.
What do you say when you realize
that you have spent the most important
phases of your life - puberty,
adolescence, your coming into
womanhood - with the same man?
You watched the same man, who once
was that awkward boy, grow into a
nice, caring and FINALLY mature
young soul.
I say that it must be true love, that
relationships may come and go but
only the strong survive.
This is my story of Wayne and
Marian, "the boy and girl next door."
It all began the first summer Marian
had a reason to wear a real bra.
There she was, all cheerful with
her new bust, and then entered the
video king.
Not once had she ever taken
anyone so seriously. To her, all boys
wanted one thing, but he was different.
He wanted to talk, to read her
poetry, to listen to her play the piano.
What more could a girl ask for?
He was cute - freckles and all -
and he wasn’t an octopus. It seemed
like the perfect fairytale.
Unfortunately, reality soon set in.
(Puberty does ugly things to a
fairytale.)
Marian began to realize that her
poems weren’t long enough and her
music wasn’t loud enough. And all
those other boys became a part of
Wayne.
Adolescence is a time of
exploration - a time to search and find
new aspects of life and of yourself.
This was a trying period in the story
of Wayne and Marian, for each sought
individual paths of exploration. Even
though they travelled separate roads,
there was still time for them to bond.
Eventually, they realized that their
paths were leading them to the same
place.
The journey into womanhood
represents a realization of self. In order
to know someone and be able to love
that person, you must first know and
love yourself. And through the many
trials and tribulations in the story of
Wayne and Marian, they both have
come to self-realization. Each has
accepted and made a commitment to
what they feel for each other.
Relationships are based on give-
and-take. Not one is perfect. No two
people think alike or plan their lives
the same. But love enables them to
mesh and bond their two personalities
into one. It is love that makes a
relationship strong and thus enables it
to survive. And such is life in the
story of Wayne and Marian.
Splitting Views Over Splitting Bills
By Rijhe Richardson
Spelman’s sophomore class recently
spoj .sored a forum on male-female
rela.ionships. Students, panelists and
me nbers of the audience made
thought-provoking comments.
The question, "Who should pay for
the date?" particularly inspired a
substantial amount of discussion.
Here are responses to the question
from some male and female students.
Carrie Givhan, Spelman sophomore
I think that the person who asked the
other person out should pay and that
the only time that they should alternate
who pays is if the couple has been
going out for a while. Then they
should compromise. If a guy asked
me out, then I would expect that he
would pay - and if he didn’t, I would
be very insulted. I would think that he
was cheap.
Lionel Burns, Morehouse sophomore
The date should be financed by the
Black man. This should be done on
the basis that the Black woman is
appreciative, respectful, good company
and has an understanding that this
gratuity should be taken for face value
only, and not as a means of wooing
her into a horizontal position to the
plane of the earth before daybreak. If
a man truly enjoys the company of a
woman and the date was initiated by
his volition, then the man will feel that
it is his duty to pay. Also, women
need not expect to be wined and dined
like queens if the man is a true
"student," but where a woman is chill,
there is always some kind of way.
Terrence Johnson,
Morehouse sophomore,
As a college student, I am convinced
that when students begin dating the
male should not have the responsibility
of paying for the date. Realizing that
the cost of education is continuing to
increase, women should have the
courtesy to not pressure their
companion. Moreover, if women pay
for their meal, it will help them
acquire a sense of independence so that
they will not have to become attached
to their mate.
Denise Ross, Spelman sophomore
I think that when two people decide to
go out, they hopefully decide based on
a ctinsistent mutual respect and
understanding of each other’s
circumstances. I’ve met people who
have no parents to send them extra
money, much less to spend on me and
others who have. enough money to
spend forever. But I have to be
consistent in knowing that everyone
comes from different circumstances.
For those reasons, I think that it’s okay
for the female to pay.
Che Cole, Morehouse junior
I believe that it should be on both
parts of the party to decide, although
traditionally, if somebody is asking you
out to date, especially a man, maybe
they should pay for it. But in a
situation where college students and
finances are involved, maybe it can be
agreed upon; or if both parties feel
more comfortable, I think that it should
be agreed upon that the date should be
split or paid for "dutch."
Elisa Smith, Spelman sophomore
I think that it’s nice to be "wined and
dined," but I would not expect the guy
to pay for the date. I have no
problems paying for what I order. I
don’t want the guy to have reservations
about dating me because he feels I
spend too much of his money, and I
don’t want him to feel that I owe him
anything - monetary or otherwise.
Illustration by Aurellia James.