Newspaper Page Text
Page 11
til
■
ii
m
PPIIIIII
®*“®«sgSs«g ss( “»
;ir
ill
P
m
111
II
February 15, 1991
Living the Married Life
By Dionne Williams
For most of the students at
Spelman and throughout the AUC, I
suppose marriage is a far off and very
distant thought. But for me, it is a
daily reality.
I was married on Nov. 30, 1990 to
Specialist Brandon S. Johnson, a
member of the United States Army and
the most wonderful man on this planet.
Yes, it’s true. I took the plunge - head
first - and I could not be any happier
than I am now.
The decision to go ahead and do it
was a long, involved one so I won’t
get into that now. This is about love
and marriage. So many of you ask me
things like: "How did you know he
was the right one?" or "How does it
feel to be married so young?" and "Is
he going to be sent to Saudi Arabia?"
I have known for a long time that
Brandon was the one for me. In many
ways, our relationship is quite unique.
We have known one another since the
fifth grade and we have been dating
off and on since eighth grade. It is not
a simple transition dating from puberty
to adulthood and we have had our
share of truly rough spots. But looking
back now, everything had to happen
the way it did in the past to help us
now in our present as well as in the
future.
It feels wonderful to be married
and I am glad that I did not wait. My
biggest adjustment so far is getting
used to waking up with these arms and
legs all over the bed. But, thank you
very much, it’s an adjustment I am
happy to make!
My life as a college student who
lives on campus is sometimes a little
hectic and some sacrifices have been
made. I can see that with a husband,
18 hours of class and extracurricular
activities I wili have to set my
priorities straight in order to keep my
sanity.
Being married feels like 'you
finally have someone who really clicks
with you and is willing to go through
life’s highs and lows right there beside
you. Being married feels like no matter
how tough things get, your best friend,
who is also your spouse, will always
be that constant support.
His support means so much to me,
especially since we only see one
another on the weekends. We are
interdependent, but individually we are
still self-sufficient.
Marriage is something that I don’t
believe anyone should do unless they
are willing to work at it. Marriage is a
lifetime of being totally committed to
one person. It’s been easy for me to
commit to Brandon because I am
already committed to God and that is
the most important commitment of all.
Marriage also means that you are
guaranteed to receive Valentine’s Day
gifts for the rest of your life! No more
wondering about whether or not you’re
going to get those flowers and candy.
Now that’s a fringe benefit.
Fortunately, Brandon will not be
going to Saudi Arabia and I know that
God Almighty is the only reason that
he’s still here. I cannot imagine what
state of mind I would be in if he was
sent there. I thank God that he’s here
and 1 pray daily for those other
military families with ioved ones in the
desert.
In retrospect, being married is a
truly wonderful experience and it has
made me look forward even more to
what the future holds for us. An entire
new perspective has been revealed to
me and so many new things have
happened for us. Who knows? Perhaps
the next year or so will bring a new
generation of Johnsons....hum-m-m-
now there’s a thought.
Illustration by Aurellia James.
LET’S TALK
LOVE SURVEY LOVE SURVEY LOVE SI
<0
Illustration by Jocelyn Coleman.
Is Mo' Better
Mo’ Better?
By Kimberle Foster
Are you looking for someone to
give you some "sexual healing?" Are
you. . . wanting. . . needing. . .
waiting. . . for someone to justify your
love? Or are you holding on to your
love?
In today’s society, the issue of
promiscuity has become increasingly
controversial with the rise of sexually
transmitted diseases. In spite of this
fact, campus promiscuity still remains
a prevalent issue in the Atlanta
University Center (A.U.C.).
In a recent mini-survey of 50
A.U.C. students, 25 percent of the male
students and 15 percent of the female
students stated they have approximately
two to three different sexual partners
within a month.
It is even more astonishing that
some report that when involved in a
sexual relationship they do not feel
committed to one person. They believe
in the "piece of my love" principle.
According to the survey, the
average person waits three months after
the relationship begins before engaging
in sexual relations, although some
indicate sexual encounters within a
week.
However, the increasing number of
sexually transmitted diseases is having
an effect on sexual behavior. Eighty-
five percent of the students say that the
risk of AIDS has changed their
behavior. The majority polled also
believe in having a monogamous sexual
relationship and do not change sexual
partners frequently.
There are quite a few "secret
lovers" in the A.U.C. Twenty percent
of the students believe in being
committed to one person but act
otherwise. Most college students have
sexual relationships to fulfill both
physical and emotional needs and
believe their sexual behavior is
discreet.
One individual indicated that he
had sexual relationships to fulfill only
his physical needs. "What makes you
think that I have the time to be for
real in love in my prime?" - Morris
Day.
Overall, campus promiscuity does
not appear to be decreasing anytime
soon.
By Kimberly Griffie
"Yo Baby, we’ve been together
'bout a day and a half. What you
waiting on girl? Let’s talk!"
"Darling your magnificent charm
and stunning beauty takes my breath
away...will you be my lady?"
"Hey Shawn, I heard you go with
Trina?"
"What do you mean? I date her
along with a few others!"
What do young men and women
mean when they say: "She’s a friend. .
. I’m interested. . . We’re talking. . .
I’m going with him. . . That’s my
man!"?
'fhese slang terms are simply the
process by which distinguished African-
American females and their fly
counterparts hook up and groove.
Have you ever noticed the steps
which evolve these so-called love
connections?
Take a look, because this six-step
process will certainly intrigue you.
Let’s start by defining the approach
method.
- An approach is the meeting
between two young people who have a
certain thang for each other. An
example might be: "Sweetheart I’ve
loved you from afar, now let’s get
closer than close."
- After the approach, the phone
calls proceed. Case study number two:
"Hello. May I speak to Anita?"
"This is she."
"Do you know who this is?"
"No, so do us both a favor and
tell me."
"It’s me baby, Bobby from the
club last night."
"Oh Bobby, whaz up sugar? I
was just thinking about you."
'Next we have the interest part of
our love, hale and debate relationship.
Interest cannot be defined, but it
can be explained. My explanation is
that X does not yet want to be
associated with Z but also does not
want anyone walking on his/her grass.
Familiar?
Once young couples have reached
the dating phase their struggle is
basically over. Most of the games are
over except the almighty "C" word:
commitment.
At this point, they either wimp out
because of peer pressure and commit to
only lying about their extracurricular
activities, or they move on to the next
step which is the Boyfriend\Girlfriend
scenario.
- "Going together" can be defined as
a supposedly stable, most of the time
able, but sometimes a big fable that
leads to the game of love. College
students play the love game well as we
shall see.
The final stage of the six-step
process is the previously mentioned
"LOVE GAME." The love game takes
all types of forms but the most obvious
one is true love. So listeners of the
raps, the lines, the games, the lies, do
be careful, but don’t be too
cautious...the love bug’s sting is tangy.