UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA LIBRARY
B 10 HEWS,”
VOLUME I. , , ATHENS, GEOllGIA, THURSDAY MORNING. JANUARY 25, 1855.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY, '
UY JOHN H. CHRISTY,
EDITOR AUD PROPRIETOR,
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BT ALKRLD F. BCBSETl.
A negro preacher referring to the
Judgment,pay in his sermon, paid.
* BreJren and sisters, in dal day de
Lord shall di«jdc’ : ’de sheep from de
r jmd brtf^jle Lo d, we know who
wears de wool 1’
Kissing a pretty girl down South, a
young gentleman asked her--*
‘ Wliat makes you so sweet V
* Oh,’ she replied, in utter innocence,
( my lather is a sugar planter.’
* A Yankee,’ describing an opponment.
says, • I tell you what, sir. that man
don’t amount to a sum in oriihmetic ; add
him up, and there’s nothing to carry P
In order to do anything in this world
worth doing, we must not stand shiver
ing mi the hank and thinking of the cold
and the danger, but jump in and scram
ble through as well os we can.
Haro Tiara is now on every lip.
And breathed from every t<-oguc;
Tim B niks are cursed by one and all,
The aged and tlm young.
Tbe mercbniit lias to clo.«e bis doors.
Anil throw his ledger by ;
Such times he vows were 'never seen,
By any mortal eye.
The shopmen quit the counter’s side,
For customers are few.
The times are now so very "tight'
It makes them all look “ blue;”
The citizen in vain essays
To make more than his bread;
A pound of which h • non' declares
Won’t weigh a pound of bread!
There’s not a day but some one fails,
Some house that goes to smash;
And names that once stood high on “ Change
Are cut for want of Cash.
Those whom we thought were millionaire*.
And rich in shares and stocks.
Their '-Million heirs' now disappoint;
They fail and leave no “ Rocks.”
“ Hard times ! hard tim s ! Was ever seen
Such times as hard as these I”
This is the cry from morn till night,
In which each one agrees
A remedy I think I've found.
T Say. how do you think ’twill d«t
J*‘ Pull off -your coat, roll up your sleeves,
Aud work these hard Hates throughT*
All Night We Stood.
* All night we stood beside her bed,
Ail sight with broken sighs.
We sadly turned her aching head,
Aud wished the morn would rise.
Her little hands so thin and pale.
Her eyes half closed with pain;
Without 'be wailing autumn gale,
Ami cAM September rain.
The. great tree* rocking in the blast—
Ah! -non it was alt o'er ;
The little heart that bent so fast
Could beat for us no more
For ere the morn beams bad lent
a Upon her little hand.
She t>re ithed her last and softly went
Into the belter land.
A Stranger, passing through one of It won’t do to conclude that a man s
the mountain towns of New England, always happy when he is smiling, or
inquired, “ What can you raise here?* that . e is a housebuilder, because you
The answer wus, “ we can raise but little always find him wish a “ brick in his
produce, and so we build school houses, hat.”
and raise men !” i . ™ r~,r~~ ,
- | There is a man in New York so op-
“ Can you tell me,” asked a pundit, P° 5td to Catholicism, that he wonuravel
“ why a conundrum that nobodv can on cross roads. He is the same man
guess is like a ghost ?” “ Shall I tell * hal wont eat beef for fear that it might
you now or next month ? ’ “ Now, if be a P° rt '°" ol the Pope’s last Bull,
you please.” “ Well, sir. sooner or, Couiuers sleep on horseback; a
cabman will drive while sleeping, and
the exhausted soldier may fall asleep
and still march on.
iatereverybody must give it up.”
- -- , I
Is it not better that your friend tell
you your faults privately, than your ene-,
iny talk of them publicly. j Handsome features alone are as in-
t ■ capable of expressing real beauty, as
Somebody says very beautifully— speech alone is incapable of expressing
“ As small planets are nearest the sun w j t>
so arc little children nearest to God
“Gently the dews are o’er me steal
ing,” as the man said when he had five
Pride is as loud a beggar as Want,
and a great deal more saucy. When
you have bought one tine thing you must
buy ten more dial all may he ol a piece.
But poor Dick says, •' Ii is easier to
suppress tlie-first desire than to satisfy
all that follow it.” And it is as truly
folly for die poor lo ape die rich, as liie
frog to sw ell in order to equal the ox.
Truk Love.—Simon seated beside
bis sweetheart, tishing— r » Sally, I wish
I was a fish and you was bait. Lordee,
how l*d bite ?’
Solon made idleness a crime, and in
sisted that each citizen should give an . due bills presented to him at once.
account of the manner of getting his 7—7-—7—7-—7 —
All are ready to puni-h a bad action—
few to reward a good one.
Pete says that the ciphering book
a n’t right when it says that •* two pints
make one quart.” He says that daddy
sells two or three quarts out of only one
pint of pure liquor. Petes daddy must
be a Son of Temperance, or lie wouldn't
use quite so much water.
There is an old lady in Troy so full
of sympathy, that every time her ducks
take 11 bath in the mud-pool, she dries
•their feet by-the fire to prevent th< m
“ I am afraid you shall come to want,’
said an old lady to her daughter “I
have come to want already,” was the
reply,—“ 1 want u nice young man.”
Why is a colt getting broke like a
young lady getting married 1 Guv
that up.— Kaze lie is going through the
“ Father.” paid a juvenile to his
paternal guardian who had the had habit
of alternating from piety to profanity, “I
do think you ought to stop praying or
sweariitg—I don’t care which.”
TllE CALM OF DEATH.
**The moon looks calmly down, when inan is
The earth s - iil holds her way ; [dying.
Flovver- breathe their p-riinue nnl the
wind- keep sighing.
None Sochi to j aiise or stay ”
Clasp the hand* meekly over the still
breast. ihe\ ’ve no inure work tod:>. Close
the weary ey s, there are no more tears
to shed; part the dan:p locks, there’s no
more pain to bear. Closed j.- the ear
ali'te to love’- kind voice and calumny’s
Oh,it in that still heart yo i have, ruth
le-s'y planted a thorn; if fiom that
pleading eye you have turned carelessly
• vay ; if your loving •.lince and kindly
word and clasping hands have conic all
tno late, then God forgive you ! No
frown gathers on the niarlde brow as you
gaze—no scorn curl- the chiselled li|»—
no flush of wounded feeling mounts the
blue veined temples.
God forgive you! for your feel too
niu*t shrill * appalled from death's cold
river—your faltering longue nsks. ‘Can
this be death T Your fading eye lingers
lovingly on the sunny earth : your sink
jug pulse gives its f.-eble flutter.
O, rapacious grave! ye* another vic
tim for thy voiceless keeping!—Wliat !
not a word of welcome from all the
houseless sleepers ? no warm greeting
from a si-ter’s loving lips ? no throb ul
pleasure from the maternal bosom?
Oh! if these broken links were never
gathered up—-if beyond death’s swelling
. flood there was no elernal shore—if for
ythe struggling bark there was no sort of
• peace—if athwart (he lowering cloud
sprung no bright hoiv of promise!
Alan! lor lave—if this be all.
And n.iught heyuud—ah, earth!
A Dublin mercer, recommending a
piec** ol silk} lo a lady for *a gown. said.
* Madam, it will wear forever and muke
* petticoat afterwards.’
* A young lady who took the eye of
every^dy, has Leen arrested for steal-
The way to make a tall man “••hort.”
fe-to ask him to lend you a thousand
dutbu*. r- .. '
Jt W chiefly young Indies of narrow
aikder^taading who wear shoes too small
for them. ^ \ V * v
, flow extraorbinary it is that the Czar
‘ jn’il be in want of money after all
»'<4ieefcs hi? hnv reecived.
An extraordinary surgical operation
was lately performed which killed the
patient. The physician is doing well.
It is said thai the application of ;ow-
ds, wrung out in lint water, to 1 lie fore
head and temples, is a speedy ami effica
cious remedy for headaches arising from
neuralgic nff ctions.
‘ Keep tour dug 11 way‘from me,’ said
a dandy ;o a butcher buy.
' * He loves puppies, and a darn bit can
I l.eep him away from them,’ said the
A gentleman who did not trust lo his
memory, wrote in his pocket book. * I
must be married win 11 I get to town/
A noted miser having relented so
much ns to give a begsiar a sixpence
suddenly dying soon after, the attendant
physician gave it as his opinion that his
death arose from enlargement of the
The name old lady u ho, on u troon
shiny evening remar ed that it was a*
light as a cork, in describing some hard
swearing the oilier day. said the nmn
swore a* hard as a rock.
A lot of fellows went on a deer hunt
llie oilier day in Arkansas, and in les
than three hours captured five girls
aud a woman.
Wiiat Next,— We. notice by the
New Orleans papers of Thursday, that
the notorious ra-cal and pickpocket. Dr.
Hines, who has just served out a year’s
term in the Lousiana penitenitary, is de
livering public lectures in New Orleans
on the subject of *• Penitentiary Disci
pline, &c;” tickets only fifty cents. Thi.«
certainly beats Barnum’s bolde-t strokes
of impudent humbug. Speaking of
Uaruum, the Picayune says tlmt Hines
has written a biography of himself,
which he is desirous of publishing, and
which if a truthful record, must equal in
interest the recent work of the grea«
A striking instance of the pursuits ol
pleasuie under difficulty, is seen when
a bachelor joins a family parly to Bunkei
Hill, and volunteers to tote a fat baby to
the lop of the monument.
How extraordinary is it that the Czar
should be in want of money after all the
checks he has received.
Too Venturesome.—The man who
caught a glance from the eye of beauty,
-ays, that it slipped through his fingers,
and went right through his heart, iutiict
ing a da serous wound
Edible Query.—What authorit%
would he like to he mo-t in favor with a
gourmand ? Crabbe, Lamb, Hogg,- and
To Remove Ink stai.. from Cloth.
—The moment the ink is spilt, taken
little milk and saturate the stain ; soak
it up with a rag. a d apply a little more
milk, ruhhing it well in. In a few
minute-the ink will be completely re
Ignorant people are to be addressed
through the eye. If you want to pas
for a great man with a blockhead, sport
a hundred dollar cloak and a fifteen
dollar watch-key. An ignoramus thinks
that he. alone lias» sterling* paits, who
• X' ibils shirt-buttons made of bullion.
Make a note.
A Western editor thinks that Iliram-
Powers, the sculptor, is a swindler, he
cause he chisided an unfortunate Greek
girl out of a block .of marble.
THE WISDOM OF THE ANCIENTS.
In a general sense it may safely be
affirmed that the wisdom of the ancients
was more moral and imaginative, ours
more physical and demonstrative.
All the great teachers of antiquity
were moralists. In fact, philosophy it
self was morality, the study of virtue,
the art of moderating the passions, and
cultivating the higher attributes of hu
mnnity. To such a degree of enthu i-
asm was this generous and self-denying
spirit carried by the ancients, that many
of them not only despised the wealth and
luxuries of the world, but actually re
fused to accept them, and freely distr -
buted or threw them away, if thrust upon
Diogenes lived in his tub, and bask
ed in the sutishitie, like a vagrant who
would be taken to tljp police station and
punished by a modern magistrate for
not having a home. He was a grea’
man even in that tub. and Alexander
the Great—the hero of his day—accom
panied tty his generals, did him the honor
of paying htm a visit, and treating him
with deference. Aristides was so poor
—and voluntarily poor, tkat his family
was left destitute, and his body was bu
ried at the expense of the public.
Soc> ales refused to take money for his.
instructions, and died a pauper, leaving
his wife and children to be supported by
his friends—and worthy friends they
were. A letter of Xenophon to Xantip-
pe, the wife of Socrates, is still extant,
and breathes such a spirit of pure and
sublime •levotedness to the great teach
er and his lessons'of virtue,, that we
might search in vain for anything equal
to it in modem times.
“ Remember,” said Xenophon to the
afflicted wife after the death of her hus
band, “ what Socrates was wont to do and
say, follow his pmc ice and preempts —
Your excessive sorrow does hut wrong
yourself and prejudice your children
Consider that they are the ch ldreo of
S, crates, and that we are not only ob
liged to maintain them, but to preserve
ourselves for their sakes, that may not
want a guardian to support and protect
them. I make it my study to live for
them, which you will not do long if you
do not abate your unavailing sorrow, and
cherish yourself, and prejudice your
children.” Appollodo us and Dion praise
you for not accepting any thing from
man. and for professing you are rich en
ough and warn it not. It is well done,
Xantippe. and depend on it that as I and
Very just reasoning, which well ex
poses the weak side of Cato, and ac
counts for many of his vices and incon
sistencies. If wealth is worth collecting
it is certainly woith using We do not
admire Cato’s turnip boiling and his
kitchen practice, with so large an inheri
tance as he was possessed of. If the
wealth was not to be used by a vir.uons
man, why did he not distribute it? His
conduct looks like petty avarice.. We
have more respect for Diogenes in
his tub, or the proud Aristides, who was
poor from choice.
The Worcester Tianscript knows a
man so mean, that he won’t draw his
breath for fear that he will lose the
other friends of Socrates are able o
Labor is a school of benevolence as
well as justice. Next to virtue, let
Anecdote of Trafalgar—When
Nelson’s famous signal was given—
•• England expects every man to do his
duty”—two Scotchmen were standing
on deck, and one polled a long sour lace,
and said. “ Eh. handy, there’s naetliing
ala ur pair old Scotland !” “ Hoot,
moo !” >ai(l Sandy, ** Scotland kens weel
her bairns always do their duty. It is
only a hint to these Knglishers.”
If th« Bible were a weekly journal,
how many cmniunications would it re-
ceit e signed, •* A con.-tan! reader."
~ R«*v Dr. Adams’ book entitled *• South
Side View of Slavery,” is likely to do
immense good in di>sem'niatitig/W/.s
concerning the true condition of the
Southern slave. A Boston corresjioiid-
ent of tile Salem Register concludes
.-o n-comments on the work by saying;
•• With all detestation of slavery, I never
1 lion-lit myself a fanatic on the subject
until row. But who of us L not ?”
Most Horrible—A grocer’s wife
having, in a passion, thrown an inkstand
at her hu»buud. and spattered him all children be trained to industry,
over with the black liquid, some s treci-
ous wretch declared that she had been Brooklyn is now the third city in the
engaged at the battle of ink-hcr-mun. Union, having a |M>pulati n of tWobun-
Olt, dear, w hat will the world come to? dred thon-and inhabitants. Tliisart.-es
— from the consolidation of the city of
“ Why are you forever humming that Williamsl urg ai d the township of Bruns-
atr?” asked Foot*, of a man without a wick with it. It extends seven and a
<en-e of tune in Mtn. ‘'Because it half niih-s North and South, and over
haunt* me.” “ Ni wonder” said Foote, five East and West.
You are forever murdering it.”
* ! The question has been asked why it is
An apothecary asserted in a large con-idered t im|K>lite for gentlemen to go
company, 'that all bitter things were into the presence of ladies in their shirt
hot.” . sleeves,«hilst it i- considered in every
“ No,” replied a physician, “a hitter way correct for lit • ladies themselves to
cold day is an exception.” j appear before gentlemen without any
— — j sleeves at all!
A lady stsk* d a gentleman, who was j.
suffering with the influenza : “ My dear 1 “ Samivel, bevnre of the vimmins as
sir, what do you take’ for jour cold!’ reads no noosepaper. Your lather mar-
- Ten pocket handkerchiefs a day, ma
ried a voman what read none. An* you re
j the ea«! koo-equin*. You’re as liignor
• ent as an ’or.-e. II ignorant people say?
Two men fired at an eagle at the same j j |OW j t ’ 5 thrown’ money away to take
time and killed him. An Irishman ob- j noo cpapers an’ fooiin away time to read
They miglrt have saved the powder
iml shot, for the full would have killed
“ Pin Money.”—It is reported, say.-
a Boston paper, thf a lady in this city
has spent, during the year 1 54. at a
lace and embroidery store, the sum of
$2,000. and that several ladies have e.icli
contracted bills at the drv gm»ds stores
varying fiom So,000 to 86,000 each.”
A woman’s heart is like a fiddle,
tequires a bow u> play on it.
Talk nliout the enjoyment of wealth
—it never was and never can he enjoy
ed; An abundance of money is a heap
i»r misery. A man who owns a small
house, a small farm, a small wife, a big
dug, a good cow, two or three fat pigs,
mid three Children, ought to be well
An editor speaking of a womans
rights’ convention, says—
•* Persevere tadies—-petticoats will rise
l»y and by."
We once heard of a dog who had a
whistle which grew on the end of his tail
He fdtfavg called him'elf when wanted
A Sharp Reply.—A beautiful wo
man once said to General Shields, who
by the by is an Irishman—' How is it.
that having obtained so much glory you
will seek lor more ?’
‘ Ah. madam,’ he replied.‘how is it
that you who have so much beauty, should
still put on the paint.'
The man who imagines himself wise
becau*e he detected some tyjiograpltical
errors in a newspaper, has gone East to
get a perpendicular view of the rain
It is affirmed by scientific gentlemen
that the pressure of the times, il it could
lie used as a propelling power would
force a vessel across the Atlantic in
*• I do declare, Sal, you look pretty
enuf to eat *’ Solomon ain’t I eatimr
as fast as I can ” replied Sul, with her
A rather credulous individual on be
ing told that he should not believe mow
than half that he heard, asked: * wh^
half shall TtrcdSj-" .
The number of Christian Jews in the
world is estimated by one of their num
ber at fifteen thousand, of whort*. K
says, several hundred are in the United
States, many of them occupying highly
respectali.e positions, as merchants
lefgytnen mid physicians. A Conven
tion oK’ltrl-tian .lews is lo be held in
New-Ybrk next May.
The new State llonse at Sacramento.
California, is a -piendid buildi ig &D by
20 feet, and cost the county nearly
8200,000. The Assembly Hall 7
by 43 leetf 20 feet high, and elegantly
finished. ’Z vj
A IIiGti Price,—The Red River
so low that the freight on Cotion has
risen to So a bale.
The day aft* r twenty rogues had
escaped from jail out west, an editor had
an eloquent article jon the morals of the
place. “ Not a prisoner within the walls
— ft ——T
Wants a Husband.—A young
widow with 880,000 in Neiv York, ad
vertises for a husband just, live feet ten
inches in height. Nothing i-r snid about
‘Why is it, my son, that when you
drop your bread and butter, it is always
the butter side down ?’
*1 don’t know. It hadn’t oughter, had
it ? Tbe strongest ought to be uppermost,
hadn’t it ma ? and this yere is the stron
gest butter I ever seed !’
‘IIu.-b up; it’s some of your aunt’s
‘Did she churn it! The great lazy
‘What, your aunt ?’
‘No ; this yere butter! To make that
poor old woman churn it, when it is
strong enough to churn itself!’
‘Be still, Ziba! It only wants work
‘Well marm, fies you, when I did it,
I’d put in lots o’ molas<es !’
‘You good for-nothing! I’ve ale a
great deal worse in the most aristocratic
New York boarding houses!’
‘Well, people, o’ rank ought to eat it!’
•Why people o’ rank ?’
‘Cause it’s rank butler/
‘You varmin you! What makes you
talk so smart ?*
•The butter’s taken the skin off my
‘Ziba, don’t lie! I can’t throw away
the butter. It don’t signify.’
‘I tell you what I’d do with it marm.
Pd keep it to draw blisters. You ought
to see the flies keel over and die, as soon
as they touch it !’
‘Ziba. don’t exaggerate; but here’s
twenty-five cents, go to tbe store and
buy a i ound of fresh.’
Eclipses in the Year 1855.—There
will be this year four eclipses,two of the
sun, and two of the moon.
The first, a total eclip e of the moon
May 1st, at 10 o’clock, 28 minutes, in
the evening, visible.
The second, a partial eclipse of the
sun, May 19th, at 9 o’clock 9 minutes
in the evening—invisible here ; only vi
sible towards the north pole, Greenland,
and the north part of North America,
latitude 60 and 61.
The third, a total eclipse of the moon.
But of course he does not say that this
enormous area was occupied, or any
thing like it; it comprised within the
walls huge trrets of cultivated lands and
gardens for supplying the population ;
with food in the event of a siege. M«
Oppert has discovered the Babylonia**
and Assyrian measurers, and by many
of them had ascertained exactly what
part of the soil was inhabited and what
part was appropriated for gardens. On
the limits of the town, properly so-call-*
ed, stands at present the flourishing
town of Hillah. This town, situated
on the banks of the Euphrates, is built
with bricks from the ruins, and many
of the household utensils and personal
ornaments of its inhabitants are taken
from them also. Beyond this town is
the vast fortress strengthened by Ne-
buchadnezzer and in the midst of it is the
royal palace itself, almost as large as a
town. M. Oppert says that he was also
able to distinguish the ruins of the fa
mous 'Tower of Babel; they are most
imposing, and stand on a site formerly
called Borsipa, or the Tower of Lan
guages. The royal town, situated on
the two banks of the Euphrates, covers
a space of nearly seven square kilome
tres, and contains most interesting ruins.
Amongst them are those of the royal
palace, the fortress, and the suspended
gardens. In the collection of curiosi
ties which M. Oppert has brought away
with him is a vase which he declares to
date from the time of one of the Chal
dean sovereigns named Narambel; this
is, somewhere about one thousand six
hundred years before Jesus Christ: also
a number of copies of uneiform inscrip
tions, which he has every reason to be
lieve that he will be able to decipher.
maintain you, you shall need none be
sides. Then he of good cheer and com
fort yrurself. Behave yourself worthy
of Socrates; and knowing as you do,
what a great man he was, think upon
his life and strive to forget his death ;
though even that too. to such as consid
er it a right, will appear most most glo
rious and excellent.
Chio, again, was a disciple of Xeno
phon, and he says, in writing to his friend
Matris, •* A philosopher will not despise
that which consists in action, when oc-
ca ion offers of being useful either to
hi m?ei for others; and will acquit him
self well, and conte off with honor in all
that he undertakes. For if he can over
come his passions, he can certainly be
able to get the better of bis chetnics,
which is a much easier conquest; for
we see daily examples of conq terors,
who fall a prey to lust and avarice. I
hope, therefore that by the study of vir
tue 1 sh ill become, not only a better
man, but more bravr, too, thojghless
cruel and vaingloriouia. ■■■■■pH!
Such language in modern times would
only excite the smile of derision. Mod
cm- laugh at the idea of studying virtue
It is exploded, with astrology, alcjiemy
and the. black arts. We now study
pbrenoh'gy, chemistry, meteorology
and other matter bf-fact subjects. Vtr-
tue! if you have a nose turn it up
Plutarch was of opinion that many of
the poor philosophers canted their love
of poverty too far. Only think of a mod
ern philo opher commit.ing such a blun
der ! Plutarch does not much admire
the elder Cato; however, for boasting of
his simplicity of life, and at the same
time carefully hoarding up the .pence.—
Cato coaid make a delicious nteal on
boiled turnip:-, and loved to boil them
while his wife baked the bread. “ But
yet,” says Plutarch, “ he would talk so
much about a farthing, and the means
of acquiring wealth ? Simplicity and
frugality are only great when they fre-*
the°nind from all desire and care about
superfluities. I would fain ask Cato
himself, “ If riches are not to be enjoyed
why, when possessed of much he plumed
himself upon being satisfied with so
little ?”• If it be a commendable thing,
as indeed it is, to he contented with
coarse bread and -such wine as our ser
vants and laboring pofiple drink, and not
to covet purple and elegantly plastered
homes, the ■ Aristides,’ Ep miinomlns.
Matins, Currius, and Cains l’ ahricius,
were perfectly riget in neglecting to
acquire what they did not think pmper
to use. gjjaKjjj
October 25th, at 2 o’clock 35 minutes
in the morning, visible.
The fourth, u partial eclipse of the
sun, November 9, at 2 o’clock 39 min
COURTING IN CHURCH.
An eccentric rector remarked a geti~
tleman at church who was not a parishio
ner, but who Sunday after Sunday, plac
ed himself in a pew adjoining that of a
widow. On the first occasion he dtetec**
ted him slyly drawing the lady’s glove
off the back ol the pew, where she was
accustomed to place it (Her hand and
arm were delicately fair.) Bye-and-bye,
the lady’s prayer book fell—of course
accidentally—from the edge of her pew
into the gentleman’s. He picked it up,
found a leaf turned down ; and scanned
a passage whic h evidently caused a
smile of complacency. Otir minister
saw all their movements, and continued
to watch them with a scrutinizing eye,
for two successive Sundays. On the
third, as soon as the collects were read,
and while the beadle yet obsequiously
waited to conduct him to the chancel,
our eccentric pastor, in a strong and
distinct voice, said
“I publish the banns of marriage be«
tween M and H , (delibe*
ute* in the afternoon; invisible here and rately pronouncing the names of the par-
only visible at tbe south pole. | tj eS| j if an y of you know any just cause,’
Like and Not Like.—A lawyer at
Poughkeeps'e was applied to, one time
by an indigent neighbor, for his opin
ion on a point of law in which the in
terests nf the latter were materially in
volved. The lawyer gave his advice,
and charged the poor fellow -S3 for it.,
“There is the money, said his client
“it is all the money I have in the world
and n y f imily I a* been a long time with
Thank God.” replied the lawyer,
The eyes of the whole congregation
were turned on the widow and the gay
Lothario; the lady suffused with blushes,
and the gentleman crimsoned with an
ger; she fai.nittg herself with vehemence?,
and he opening and shutting the pew door
with rage and violence. The minister,
meanwhile, proceeded through hi* ac
customed duties, with the satn decorum
and ease a.* if perfectly inhocentof the ag -
tation he had excited. The M-rinbu preach
ed and the service emled-away to the vest-
“my wife never knew the want of pork . f ll>e iea at t! - a .. ;U of lhj
since we were married.” I
“Nor she never will,” rejoined the
countryman tartly, “so long as she has
such a hog as you are
The lawyer was so pleased wi h the
smartness of the repartee, that he for
gave the poor fellow and immediately,
returned hint his money.
We believe all bnt the last part.
It will' not be forgotten that the
French Government, two or three years
ago s»itl three gentlemen to make
scientific and artistic researches in Me
dia. Mesopotamia, aud Babylon. One
of them, M. Jules Oppert, has just rc
turned to Paris, and it appears from his
report that he and his colleagues thought
it advisable to the exploration of anci
ent Baby'on. This task was of immense
difficulty, and was enhanced by the ex
cessive heat of the sun, by privations
of all kinds, and by the incessant hostili
ty of the Arabs. After awhile M. Op-
pert’s two colleagues fell ill, so that all
the labors of the expedition devolved on
him. He first of all made excavat ions
of the ruins of the famous suspended
gardens of Babylon, Which are now .
Known byahe name of the Hail of Am- widow.
ran-ibn-AH ; and he obtained in them a T ‘ “
number of curious architectural and
other objects, which are destined to be
placed in the Lovrc at Paris.
He has succeeded in making a series
of minute surveys, aud in drawing up
detailed plans of the immense city. His
opinion is that even the largest calcula
ti ms as to its extent are not exaggerat
ed ; and he puts down that extent at the
astounding figure of five hundred square
kilometres, French measure, (the sq.
kilometre is 1.196 sq. yds.) This ts very
nearly eighteen timet the size of Paris.
‘Who HUthqriz* d you, sir, to muko
uch a publication of bans T demanded
they both in a breath.
‘Authorized me?’said he, with a stare
tlmt hi ighn ned their confusion.
•Yes, who authorized you ?'
‘Ou/ said the minister, with a sly
lance alternately at each, ‘if you do not
approve of it, I will forbid the baits next
‘Sir,’ said the lady, ‘you liau- ben
too officious already—nobody n quested
yeti to do any smith thing-—yon had bcl-
t« r mind your own business.’
■Why, my ) retty dear/ said he, pn'-
1ing h* r - on the cheek, *\vhat Lhave
done is all in the way of hu-im -s, and if
you do not like to unit for three pub
lications, 1 would advise you. >ir. (lim
ing to the gentleman) to j m ure tle :
license, the ring, ami (lie lee, and ihri#®
the whole may be settled aa Soon as to
‘Well/ replied the gentleman, addres
sing the lady, ‘with your permission l
wilt get them, and we may be married
in a day or two.*
Oh, you may both do as yon please,’
IMSttiriily, yet nothing HK Replied ihc
It was a day or two nfier that the ii-
conse Was procured. The parson re
ceived hi* fee, the bridegroom Ins bride,
and the widow for the jfc*L time threw
Iter gloves over the pew, and it was
afterwards said the parties were satisfi-
It appears that the British expendi
ture for the year, which ended on the
1 Oth October, was upward* of seven
millions sterling on account of the Army,
and upwards of t^n millions on ^account
of the Navy. r > - V