Newspaper Page Text
POETICAL.
—cite——
TEE PBUTTEE’S DEVIL.
Ink-bespattered,
Clothing tattered,
With his broom in hand,
Leaning, cleaning,
Rubbing, scrubbing,
Under every stand.
Weath the cases,
Type and spaces—
Trampled where they fell—
By this Pluto
Doomed to go to
Printer’s batter “hell.”
Running hither,
Darting thither,
Tail of all the Staff,
Out and in doors,
Doing all chores,
Bringing Telegraph.
Runs for copy,
Nor dare stop he
For his paper hat;
All the jonr’men,
Save the foremen,
Yelling for some “fat.”
“Proves" the galleys;
Then he sallies,
On Satanic pinion
From the news room
To the sanctum—
Part of his dominion.
And the bosses—
Often cross as
Bears within their holes—
Make the devil
Find his level,
Stirring up the coals.
Washing roller,
Bringing coal or
Lugging water pail;
Time he wastes not
At the paste pot,
Wrapping up the mail.
When the week’s done,
Then he seeks one
Where the greenbacks lay.
There to settle
For the little
Devil is to pay.
In this spirit
There is merit,
Far from tint of shame;
Often gaining
By bis training
Good and honored name.
Legislators,
Great debaters,
Scientific men
Have arisen
From the prison
Of the printer’s den.
LATJGHOGKRAMS.
The roar material—Baby.
What is higher when the head is off?
The pillow.
A man may live in a garret and not be
room-attic.
Matchless misery—Having a cigar,
and no match.
A Connecticut hen lays twin eggs by
somamiscackelation.
- • -
A sure way to prevent bad dreams—
don’t go to sleep.
A tight fit is certainly the delirum tre
mens.
The national prohibition movement
doesn't hold water so well as might.
The orator who chained his audience
has been sued for false imprisonment.
Chicago wants somebody to father a
dancing school for orphans.
“Ever heart knows its own bitters!’’
as the old lady said to her minister.
Why are clergymen like brakesmen?
jßecause they do a great deal of coup
*ng.
Connecticut had one divorce to every
eleven marriages last. One didn’t leav
en the whole.
“Died a fightin’ Bill Jones,” was the
verdict of a coroner’s jury over an Indi
an Territory man.
A Boston clerk loves the very ground
a young widow walks on. It is worth
S2OO an acres.
Potatoes are to be raised at the fron
tier army posts to give a-melier-ation to
the soldier’s fare.
The barbers in Massachusetts get
their customers drunk, by saturating the
scap well, with the strongest of bay
rum.
What ancle in a grocer’s shop express
es a doubt as to a man’s power of walk
ing? Canister [Can he stir?]
A minister walked six miles to marry a
nouple lately. He said he felt sort of
fee-bill like.
What is that from which if you take
the whole, some will remain ? The word
wholesome.
“Cousin Belle, can’t we hit upon some
plan for making that cold-hearted lover
of yours jealous?”
“Yes, I think we can, if we put our
heads together.”
“I thought you was bom on the Ist of
April,” said a husband to his lovely wife,
who had mentioned the 21st as her
birthday,
“Most people would think so from
the choice I made of a husband,” she re
plied.
During slavery, a farmer in one of the
States, owned an old negro who would
steal every fowl he could lay his hands
on, but if asked about it, would nearly
always tell the truth. His master called
him one day and said:
“Sam, have you stolen any chickens
tins week ?”
“No, sir."
“Any turkeys?”
“No, sir, marster.”
“Any geese?”
“No, sir, but you like to eotch me, I
hooked some ducks,”
SHOE.
A zealous divine in this city unfortu
nately encountered last Sunday a detach
ment of Harris’ Brigade “pick-it” guards,
busily at work on the streets, and stern
ly accosted the bullet-headed representa
tive of the green isle nearest with him:
“What are you doing this for ?”
“Three dollars a day, sur,” promptly
responded Pa*.
“You might be better employed on a
day like this.”
“Thrue for you, sur, an’ I’d be glad of
a job that ’ud pay betther.’’
“Ah 1 my friend,” said the shepherd,
‘‘you should raise your eyes to higher
things to-day.” ,
“Is it raisin’ me eyes I’d be wie the
pick in me fist? Begorra, I thried that
yesterday, and druv’ the pick through
Tim Donovan’s big toe, there. He tuck
me a lick wid a shovel, and there wor as
fine a fight as ye’d see this side of Con
naught in five minutes.”
“But,” persisted the good man, “do
you not feel an inward spirit—
“ Spirit? In me inwards? Divil a
drop the day, and the mouth of me as
dhry as a lime-kiln.”
“Ah! no, my friend, ’tis that spirit
which destroys.”
“Shure I know it—it destroys thirst,
and if yer afther tippin’ us the price of a
couple o’ glasses,” said Pat, with a sly
twinkle, ‘to drink yer ’anner’s health
why—”
“No, my health is well enough; but
can you not be persuaded to give up work
for this day ?”
“Shure it’s as aisy as a cat drinkin’
crame for yer ’aimer to make me do that
yerself.”
“Indeed, then let my powers of persua
sion—”
“Oh, bother your power of persuasion;
if ye’ll put three dollars in the fist of me,
sure I’ll drap me pick to-day intirely,
and here’s Tim Grady, the blackguard,
been waitin’ as a substitoot half the mor
nin’, and will take me place.” .
The good man didn’t exactly see it in
this light; but the boss of the gang, ob
serving Pat’s pick was idle, sent some
sulphurous expletives in that direction,
which put it in such lively motion that
his questioner was compelled to with
draw outside them and the circle of
splashes and ice splinters that immedi
ately surrounded the scene of opera
tions.
The Printer’s Estate. —We find the
following remarks, which all printers and
publishers will agree in calling sensible
in an exchange, and commend them to
the attention of the reader. They will
apply to all localities in which newspa
pers circulate:
The printer’s dollars—where are they?
A dollar here and a dollar there, scatter
ed over the numerous small towns, all
over the country miles and miles apart;
how shall they be gathered together?
The paper-maker, the journeyman com
positor, the building owner, the grocer,
the tailor and all assistants to him in car
rying on his business, have their demands
hardly ever so small as a single dollar.
But the mites from here and there must
be diligently gathered and patiently
hoarded, or the wherewith to discharge
the liabilities will never become sufficient
ly bulky. We imagine the printer will
will have to get up an address to his
widely scattered dollars something like
the following:
Dollars, halves, quarters, dimes and all
manner of fractions into which you are
divided, collect yourselves and come
home! You are wanted. Combinations
of all sorts of men that help to make the
printer a proprietor, gather in such force
and demand with such good reasons your
appearance at this counter, that nothing
short of you will appease them. Collect
yourselves, for valuable as you are in the
aggregate, single you will never pay the
cost of collecting. Come here in single
file, that the printer may form you in
battalion, and send you forth again to
battle for him and vindicate his feeble
credit.
Reader, are you sure you haven't a
couple of the printer’s dollars sticking
about your clothes ? If you have, order
them home immediately.
Republican and other presses that do
not believe in the farmers' movement,
and who do not think it will “be more
than a shower,” would do well to ttudy
the inscriptions upon the banners in a
procession of five thousand farmers in
Lawrence Kansas, a few days since, some
of which read thus significantly:
Down with Banks and Up with Com!
No Quarters to monopoly!
Equal Taxation 1
God Speed the Plow!
United We Stand, Divided We Fall!
Live and let Live!
Money Rings, Beware!
The Ides of November, 73!
Farmers will be free!
Harmony!
No more Parasites!
Less Officers, Less Laws, Less Taxes
and More Justice!
Industry will be Rewarded!
Fanners to the Front—Forcibly if We
Must!
Reform or Revolution!
Vox Populi!
Passes up Salt River Free!
Fraternity, Equality and Exchange!
If this does not mean business, if it
does not mean revolution of political par
ties, we confess ourselves at a loss to
properly interpret plain language.
[Memphis Appeal.
“Unless you give me aid,” said a beg
gar to a benevolent lady, “I am afraid I
shall have to resort to something which
I greatly dislike to do.” The lady han
ded him a dollar, and compassionately
asked, ‘What is it, poor man, that I have
saved you from?” “Work,” was the
mournful answer.
Somebody gives this definition 5f no
where : “A place where no Yankee has
ever been, and never will be.”
It was at the second battle of Bull
Run a cannon ball took off a poor sold
ier’s leg.
“Carry me to the- rear,” he cried to a
tall Yankee companion who had been
fighting by his side.
Ae Yankee caught the wounded sol
dier up and as he was about to put him
across his shoulder another cannon ball
carried away the poor fellow’s head. The
Yankee, however in the confusion did
not notice this, but proceeded towards
the rear.
“What are you carrying that thing
for,” cried an officer.
“Thing,” returned the Yankee. “It’s
a man with his leg shot off.”
“Why, he hasn’t any head 1” cried the
officer.
The Yankee looked at his load and for
the first time saw that what the officer
said was true. Throwing down the body
he thundered out:
“Confound him! he told me it was his
leg!”
The New York Tribune refers regret
fully to the feet that the Fourth of July
was not observed in the South. It ought
to have been observed in Louisiana, in
South Carolina, in Arkansas—in short,
wherever the Southern people are reap*
ing the harvest of Federal despotism.—
Indeed, it is a pity that on that day there
were not meetings in every town in the
South, and the famous bill of indictment
against Great Britain read to the people.
It would have been interesting to make
known how petty were the grievances of
the colonies compared with those of the
South, and it would have given the hear
ers food for reflection to have told them
that for these grievances the colonists
took up arms, while some Southern men
seek in unification a panacea for their
ills, and bow to Gessler’s cap for a salary
and a per diem.
A good story is told of old Johnny
McGill, who resided during the war, in
East Tennessee. Guerrillas represent
ing both parties, kept it so warm in that
forsaken region, that it was dangerous
to belong to either side. McGill had in
trying to ride both horses, got several
black jackings, first from the rebels and
then from the Yankees. As they were
dressed alike, he made several mistakes
in. trying to pass for either Union or
Southern, as he thought would suit the
crowd. At last he was met by a party
whose politics he could not even guess
at, and the following conversation en
sued :
“Sir, are you a Union man ?”
“No sir,” replied McGill.
“Are you a rebel, then?”
“No, sir.”
“Then what in the devil’s name are
you,” roared the captain.
“Well, sir,” hesitated McGill, “to tell
the honest truth, I’m—nothing—and
but blasted little of that.”
One of Josh Billings’ maxims is, “Rise
early, work hard and late, give nothing
away, and if you don’t get rich
the devil, you may sue me for damages.’'
Were the hand to give all the tongue
promises, we should soon have no more
beggars; everybody would be a prince.
To-morrow is the day on which idle
men work, and fools reform.
Reading has a blind newsboy.
—. — <
The most popular visitor to a print
ing-office in winter, is the man who shuts
(ho door.
*
SMB6O-X
SSI M
m MaiMion I
|K3 BITTERS,JP
r PURELY A VEGETABLE PREPARATION, OOBk
posed simply ofwell-known ROOTS, HERBS
and FRUITS, combined with other properties',
Which in their nature are Cathartic. Aperient, Hu*
trltloni, Diuretic, Alterative and Anti-Billions. The
whole is preserved in a sufficient quantity of spirit
from the SUOAII cane to keep them in an#
climate, which makes the *-
PLANTATION
m Bitters
cne of the most desirable Tonies sand Cathar-
in the world. They are intoned strictly as a ,
Temperance Bitters
only to be used as a medicine, and always according
fto directions.
They are the sheet-anchor of*the feeble and debili
tated. They act upon a diseased liver, and stimulate
to such a degree that a healthy action is at once
brought about. Aa a remedy to which Women
■are especially subject It is superseding every other
Stimulant Asa Spring and Summer Tonic
they have no equal. They are a mild and gentle
Purgative as well aa Tonic. They Purify the Blood,
They are a splendid Appetiser. They make the weak
Strong. They purify and Invigorate. They cure
Dyspepsia, Constipation and Headache. They iotas
I spicule lnall species of disorders which undermine
(he bodily strength and break down the animal spirits,
. Depot, 63 Park Place, New York. ,'
New Goods! New Goods!
J. H. JONES & CO.
Hare just opened a beautiful assortment of
PRINTS, SHOES AND CLOTHING
New Designs, Latest Styles, Very Attractive.
We cordially in vite all to call and see our Stock
before purchasing.
PRICES TO SUIT THE TIMES.
A Tull Stock of Groceries and Provisions Always on Hand,
TO WHICH WE INVITE THE ATTENTION OF PLANTERS.
TEMPTING PRICES
AT THE
Southern Dry Goods Store
189 BROAD ST-, AUGUSTA, GkA._
OLD PRICES GIVING WAY TO NEW ONES. BARGAINS ALL OVER THE STORE.
We are determined not to carry over any Spring or Summer Goods at all, therefore all persons
in need of anything usually kept in a first-class Dry Goods Store should not delay calling on us
at once or send for samples.
BARGAINS IN DRESS GOODS.
Including Silks, Poplins, Grenadines, Japanese Cloths, Batiste Cloths, Muslins, Cambrics, white
and colored Lawns, &c.
BARGAINS
In Hamburg Trimmings, Kid Gloves, Hosiery, Fancy Goods, Notions, Ac.
EXTRA BARGAINS
In Lace Points—a beautiful assortment, from $2.50 to $75, and many other articles too numerous
to mention. In all orders from samples sent we pay the express charges when retail bills amount
to $lO or over. Before You Buy, Go To
POWELL & MULLER'S, 189 Broad st,
The People’s Clothing Store
THE LARGEST HOUSE IN THE STATE,
268 Broad st., Augusta, W. A RAMSEY, Agent
WE offer this season the largest line of Fine, Medium and Common Ready-made Spring and
Summer CLOTHING for Men and Boys in the State. We have some of the most elegant
goods that can be found, and every article of our own make, and equal to custom work, together
with the finest line of FURNISHING GOODS in the city. HATS, CAPS, TRUNKS, VALISES, &c.
New Goods constantly arriving. Large men or small will find no trouble in getting fitted. Boys
rom 2$ to 20 years old can be suited. No one should purchase Clothing before examining this
mmense stock. ap.23 W. A. RAMSEY, Agent.
NEW SPRING GOODS!
COME ONE! COME ALB!
TO THE STORE OP
S.D. BLACKWELL! SO\
WHO ARE FAST RECEIVING A LARGE AND JUDICIOUSLY SELECTED
STOCK OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE GOODS.
SOMETHING WORTH REMEMBERING
Mr*- —■ i. ■ , cir*-™
(ME. KEAN) IS NOW IN NEW YORK, ’CULLING GEMS FROM ALL THE
LARGS IMPORTING HOUSES,
in the United States, and feels confident that for
Style, Quality & Cheapness
HIS SELECTIONS WILL BE HARD TO SURPASS.
OH® SPRING STOCK
Is coming in rapidly, and we cordially invite all to visit us daily, as there will be something
NEW, ATTRACTIVE AND NOVEL
Every day, and it affords us pleasure to display them, whether you buy or not.
We will sell to COUNTRY MERCHANTS at New York quota
tions for CASH.
For apDroved City Acceptance we will sell on a credit to Ist October next, adding 1} per
cent interest per month.
Apply with perfect confidence in our willingness and ability to
serve you as well as any house South, and you will not be disap
pointed. Very Respectfully,
KEAN & CASSELS.
DOZIER & WALTON
241 BROAD STItEET, A.XJGTTBTA, GA.
FOB BALEi
In Store and to Arrive.
100 Hbds. Bacon SHOULDERS,
b 0 Ends. Bacon SIDES.
100 Ilhds. Reboiled MOLASSES
20 Hbds. Cuba MOLASSES
20 Puncheons Demarara MOLASSES
200 Barrels Reboiled MOLASSES
60 Barrels New Orleans MOLASSES
40 Hhds. New Orleans SUGARS.
35 Hhds. Demarara SUGARS
150 Barrels Refined SUGARS
50 Tierces RICE
150 Tierces Choice Leaf LARD
150 Kegs Choice Leaf LARD
150 Boxes Pale SOAP
150 Boxes and half boxes Adamantine CAN
DLES
100 Bags Rio, Java and Laguyra COFFEE.
325 Boxes Well-cured Bulk C. R SIDES
50 Boxes Well-cured Bulk SHOULDERS.
Brooms, Woodware, Spices, Starch, Matches,
Chewing and Smoking Tobacco, Twines, Wrap
niug paper, at lowest wholesale prices.
WALTON, CLARK & CO.,
Mcb26 Augusta, Georgia.
E. G. ROGERS,
147 and 149 Broad Street.
AUGUSTA, GA.
I am now offering a very superior stock of
FURNITURE
Of all grades, comprising Parlor, Chamber, Din
ing-room, Hall and office Furniture, in great va
riety of style. My stock of Chamber Suites is
especially varied, being the best in the city.
UNTSBBTAKUrCt.
My Undertaking department is hot* fully or
ganized,flnd I am prepared to
Cases, and Caskets in all the Varieties,
irom the best manufactory and of my t>Wn make.
METALIC CASES from the thbst ap
proved makers always on hand.
Experienced attendants. Calls attended at all
hours. Apply at night, or on Sundays, in yard
at rear of store at 102 GREENE ST., second
honse below City Hall. [Myl4*3m
legal
Wtt T A K dm f?\ lß t trator ’ # Sale.
wru be Bol< * before the courthouse door in
Elberon, Elbert county, on the first Tues
day in July next, between the legal hours of
sale, the undivided one hundred and tweuty
eighth part of a lot or parcel of land in the
ninth (9th) district of the second (2d) section
of originally Cherokee (now Fannin) county;
Said lot or parcel known in said district and
said section as No. 18—the whole lot contain
ing one hundred and sixty acres, more or less.
Sold as the property of Mrs. Elmira Sullivan,’
late of Elbert county, deceased, by virtue of an
order from the court of Ordinary of said county
for the benefit of creditors and heirs of said del
ceased. Terms, Cash.
April 1,’73. J. I. CHANDLER, Admin’r.
GEORGIA, Elbert County,—Notice is hereby
given to all persons concerned that on the
6 l h „! ay 0f Apri1 ' 1873 > J t> n ?than G. Nelms, late
of Elbert county, departed this life intestate, and
no person applying for administration on the es
tate of said Jonathan G. Nelms, and that in terms
of the law administration will be vested in the
Clerk of the Superior Ccurt, or some other fit
and proper person, thirty days after publication
of this citation, unless some valid objection be
made to his appointment.
Given under my hand and official signature,
this 9th day of June, 1873.
JAS. A. ANDREW, Ordinary.
Citation for Letters ofD'gmlsgfon
STATE of Gorgia , Elbert County: Whereas Wm
H. Teasly, guardian and administrator of John
H. H. Teasley, represents to the court in his peti
tion,duly filed and entered onrecord.that he has
fully administered John H. H. Teasley’s estate,
this is therefore to cite all persons concerned
kindred and creditors, to show cause, if ny
they can, why said administratorshould not be
discharged from his administration and receive
letters or dismission on the first Monday in
September, 1873. Jas. A. Andbbw, Ordinary.
NOTICE.
ALL persons indebted to the estate of George
T. Williams are requested to make imme
diate payment, else they will be sued. The claims
will be found in the hands of E. P. Edwards Esq
Elberton, Ga. J. D. HILL, Adm’r.
May 5, 1873.
ANDREW MALE HIGH SGHOUL,
ELBEETON, GA.
P. E DAVANT, A M., - - Principal.
GEO. Q. QUJLLIAN, - . Assistant
Spring term commences Monday, Jan. 27, 1872.
THE course of instruction in this institution
is thorough and by the analytic system.
The pupils are taught to think and reason for
themselves. Boys will be thoroughly prepared
for any class in college. Those desiring aspeedy
preparation for business can take a shorter
course in Analytic Arithmetic, Survej-ing, Book *
keeping, Ac.
The discipline of the school will be firm and
inflexible. An effort will be madein all cases
to control students by appealing to their sense
of duty and honor, but at all events the discip
line will be maintained.
Ratct of Tuition: Ist class, $2.50 permonth :
2d class, $3.50; 3d class, ss—one-half in ad
vance.
Board in good families $lO permonth
An Unparalleled OfferT
Wo want to add 100,000 Subscribers to the sub
scription list of the
SODTHERW MAGAZINE
DURING 1873.
Will' yon be one of them
We think will>hen(tellyou that we will
give yon $24 for 14.50! How? Look and sea.
We will send the SOUTHERN MAGAZINE, the
subscription pnce;of which is $4 per.annum, and
A Splendid Steel Engraving
29x35 inches,
THE*BURIAL OF LATANE
For $4.50.
Retail Price of Engraving, $20.00
We boldly assert that no such liberal offer has
over been made by any Magazine North or South.
We do not ask you to subscribe until you see
both the Engraving and the Magazine, and to en
able you to ao this we have appointed the Editor
of this Paper our Agent. He will be pleased to
show you both.
TURNBULL BROTHERS,
Publishers, Baltimore.
Change of Schedule
ON THE GEORGIA AND MACON AND AU
GUSTA RAILROADS.
On and after Wednesday, June sth, 1872, the
Passenger trains on the Georgia and Macon and
Augusta railroads will run as follows :
Georgia Railroad—Dag Passenger Train.
LEAVE ARRIVE
Augusta 8 20 am 1 Atlanta 6 40 p n
Atlanta .. 815a m | Augusta 530 pm
Night Passenger Train.
LEAVE ARRIVE
Angusta 8 15 p ra I Atlanta 6 45 a m
Atlanta 8 00 p m | Augusta 6 00 a ra
Macon and Augusta R. R.—Dag Passenger Train.
leave arrive
Augusta 12 15 pm I Macon 730 p m
Macon 630a m j Augusta 115 p m
No change of cars between Augusta and Macon
Passengers from Athens, Atlanta, Washing
ton, or any point on the Georgia Railroad and
branches, by taking the Day Passenger Train
will make connection at Camak with trains for
Macon.
Pullman’s (first-class) Palace Sleeping Cara
on all Night Passenger Trains on the Georgia
Railroad; and first-cUss Sleeping Cars on all
Night Trains on the Macon and Augusta R. R.
S. K. JOHNSON, Supt.
7he Oldest Furniture House in the State .
PLATT" BROS.
919 & 914 Broad St.
AUGUSTA, GA.,
Keep always on hand the latest styles of
FURNITURE
Os every variety manvfactured, from the lowest
to the highest grades.
CHAMBER, PARLOR, DINING-ROOM, AND
LIBRARY COMPLETE SUITS, OR
SINGLE PIECES.
At prices which cannot fall to suit the purchaser
UNDERTAKING,
In all its branches, METALLIC CASES AND
CASKETS, of various styles and make; im
ported Wood Caskets and Cases, of ev
ery known design and finish; Cof
fins and Caskets of our own
make, in mahogany, rose
’ wood and walnut
An accomplished undertaker will bo in at
tcendance at all hours, day and night
CHMMETSS