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gittjusta fusiweSiS CawK
KEAN & CASSELS,
Wholesale and retail dealers in
Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods
209 Broad at., lat stand of H. F. Russel & Cos.
AUGUSTA, GA.
J. MURPHY & CO.
“Wholesale and retail dealers in
English While Granite k (', C. Ware
ALSO,
Semi-China, French China, Glassware, &c.
No. 244 Broad Street,
AUGUSTA GA.
T. MARKWALTEK,
MARBLE WORKS,
BBOAD STREET,
Near Lower Market,
AUGUSTA, GA.
THE AUGUSTA
Gilding, Looking-glass,Picture Frame
FACTOHY.
Old Picture Frames Regilt to look Equal to
Lew. Old Paintings Carefully Cleaned,
Lined and Varnished.
J. J. BROWNE, Agent.
346 Broad st., Augusta, Ga.
SCHNEIDER,
DEALER IN
WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS
AUGUSTA, GA.
Agent for Fr. Schleifer & Co.’s San Francisco
CALIFORNIA BRANDY.
HHQOLU EHCQUOTT CHAMPAGNE.
E. 11. SCHNEIDER,
Augusta, Georgia.
Bones, Brown & Cos., J. & S. Bones & Cos.,
AUGUSTA, GA. HOME, GA.
Established 1325. Established 1869.
BONES, BROWN & CO.,
IMPORTERS
And dealers in Foreign & Domestic
HARDWARE
AUGUSTA GA..
E. 11. ROGERS,
Importer and dealer in
RIM GUNS PISTOLS
And Pocket Cutlery,
Amm mition of all Kinds,
245 BROAD STREET, AUGUSTA, GA.
REPAIRING EXECUTED PROMPTLY
(Elbction guriuciss Cavdjs.
LIGHT CARRIAGES & BUGGIES.
j.
(Carriage ot[ajiufact’r
ELBERTOSI, GEORGIA.
BEST WORKMEN!
BEST WORK!
LOWEST PRICES!
Good Baggies, warranted, - $125 to SIGO
Common Baggies - SIOO.
REPAIRING AND BLACKSMITIIING.
Work done in this line in the very best style.
Tlie Best liar ness
My 22-1 v
1\ M. SWIFT. MACK. ARNOLD
SWIFT & ARNOLD,
(Successors to T. M. Swift,)
dealers in
DRY GOODS,
GROCERIES, CROCKERY, BOOTS AND
SHOES, HARDWARE, Ac.,
Public Square, ELBERTON GA.
H. K. GAIR DIMER,
ELBERTON, GA„
DEALER IN
DBY GOODS, GROCERIES,
HARDWARE, CROCKERY,
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS
Notions, &o-
ELBERTON FEMALE
(Mepi#Gtitute
TITHE exercises of this institute will be resum-
J- ed on Monday, August 18th, 1873.
B@“Fall term, four months. Tuition, $2.50,
$3.50, and $5 per month, according to clas3—
payable half in advance.
Mrs. Hester will continue in charge of tin
Musical Department.
Board in the best families can be obtained at
from $lO to sls per month.
Fcr further information address the Principal
H. P. SIMS.
THE GAZETTE.
ISJew Series.
A FLEET MARRIAGE.
BY AN IKISAMAN.
Lady C. was a beautiful woman, but
Lady C. was an extravagant woman.—
She was still single, though rather past
extreme youth. Like most pretty fe
males, she had looked too high ; had es
timated her own loveliness too dearly;
and now she refused to believe that she
was not charming as ever. So no won
der she still remained unmarried.
Lady C. had but five thousand pounds
in the world. She owed about forty
thousand pounds; so with all her wit
and beauty, she got into Fleet Prison,
and was without ascident, likely to re
main there.
Now, in the time I speak of, every la
dy had her head dressed by a barber ;
and the barber of the Fleet was the
handsomest barber in the city of Lon
don. Pat Phelan, was a great admirer
of the fair sex ; and where’s the wonder?
Sure Pat was an Irishman. It was on e
very fine morning, when Phelan was
dressing her captivating head, that her
ladyship took it into her mind to talk to
him ; and Pat was well pleased, for La
dy C.’s teeth were the whitest and her
smile the brightest in all the world.
“So you are not married Pat f” says
she.
“Divil an inch, yer honor’s ladyship,”
says he.
“And wouldn’t ye like to be married
again?” asks she.
“Would a duck swim?” replied Phe
lan.
“Is there any one you would pre
fer ?”
“May be, madam,” says he, “you niver
heard of Kathleen O’ltily, down beyant
Doneraile ? Her father’s cousin to
O’Donoghue, who’s own steward to Mr.
Murphy, the under-agent to my Lord
Kingstown, and—”
“Hush,” says slie; “sure I don’t want
to know who she is. But, would she
have you if you asked her?”
“Ah, thin, I’d only wish I’d be afther
thrying the same.”
“And why don’t you ?”
“Sure, I’m too poor.” And Pat heaved
a prodigious sigh.
“Would you like to be rich ?” asks the
iady.
“Does a dog bark?”
“If I make you rich, will you do as I
tell you?”
“Millia murthers! your honor, don’t
be tantalizing a poor boy.
“Indeed I’m not,” said LadyC.; so lis
ten. “How would you like to marry
me?”
“Ak, thin, my lady, I believe the King
of Bussia himself would be proud to do
that same lave alone a poor devil like
Pat Phelan.” “Well, Phelan if you will
marry me to morrow, I’ll give you one
thousand pounds.”
‘ O, whilabaloo ? whilabaloo ? sure I’m
mad, or enchanted by the good people,”
roared Pat, dancing around the room.
“But there are conditions,” says Lauy
C.
“After the first day of our nuptials
you must never see me again, nor claim
me for your wife.”
“I don’t like that” says Pat, for he had
been ogling her ladyship most desperate
ly-
“But remember Kathleen O’Reilly.
With the money I’ll give you you may go
and marry her.”
“That’s thrue,” says he. “But thin,
the bigamy.”
“I’ll never appeaa against you. On
ly remember you must take an oath nev
er to call me your wife after to-morrow,
and never go telling all the story.”
“Divil a word I’ll ivir say.”
“Well, there’s ten pounds. Go and
buy a license, and leave the rest to me
and then she explained to him where he
was to go, and when he was to come, and
all that.
The next day Pat was true to his ap
pointment, and found two gentleman aL
ready with her ladyship.
“Have you got the license?” says she.
•‘Here it is, my lady,” says he; and
he gave it to her. She handed it to one
of the gentlemen, who viewed it atten
tively. Then calling her two servants,
she turned to the gentleman who was
reading.
“Perform the ceremony,” says she.
And sure enough in ten minutes Pat
Phelan was the husband of the lovely
Lady C.
“That will do,” says she to her new
husband, as he gave her a hearty kisß;
ELBERTOX, GEORGIA^NOVEMBER 5, 1873.
“that’U do. Now, sir, give me my mar
riage certificate.” The old gentleman
did so, and bowing respectfuUy to the
five pound note she gave him, he retired
with his clerk; for sure enough, I forgoi
to say he was a parson.
“Go and bring me the warden,” says
my lady to one of the servants.
“Yes, my lady,” and presently the
warden appeared.
“Will you be good enough,” said Lady
C. in a voice that would call a bird off a
tree, “will you be good enough to send
or fetch me a hackney-coach"? I wish to
leave this prison immediately.”
“Your ladyship forgets,” replied the
warden, “that you must pay your forty
thousand pounds before I can let you
go-”
“I am a married woman. You can de
tain my husband, but not me. And she
smiled at Phelan, who began rather to
dislike the appearance of things.
“Pardon me, my lady, it is well known
you are single.”
“I tell you, ’ says she, “that I am mar
ried.”
“Where’s your husband f ’ asked the
warden.
“There, sir!” and she pointed to the
astonished barber; “there he stands.—
Here is my marriage certificate, which
you can peruse at your leisure. My ser
vants yonder were witnesses of the cere
mony. Now detain me, sir, one instant
at your peril.”
The warden was dumb founded and
no wonder. Poor Phelan would have
spoken, but neither party would let him.
The lawyer below was consulted. The
result was evident. In half an hour
Lady C. was free, and Pat Phelan, her
legitimate husband, a prisoner for
debt to the amount of forty thousand
pounds.
Well, sir, for some time, Pat thought
he was in a dream, and the creditors
thought they were still worse. The fol
lowing day they held a meeting, and
finding out how they had been tricked,
swore they’d detain poor Pat forever
But as they well knew that be had noth
ing, and would not feel much shame in
going into the Insolvent Court, they
made the best of a bad bargain, and let
him out.
Well, you must know, about a week
after this, Paddy Phelan was sitting by
bis little fire, and thinking over the won
derful things he had seen, when as sure
as death the postman brought him a let
ter, the first he had ever received, which
he took over to a friend of his, one Ry
an, a fruit-seller, because you see he was
no great hand at reading, or writing. It
ran thus:
“Go to Doneraile, and marry Kathleen
O'Reilly. The instant the knot is tied,
I fulfill my promise of making you com
fortable for life. But as you value your
life and liberty, never breathe a syllable
of what has passed. Remember you are
in my power if you tell the story. The
money will be paid to you directly you
inclose to me your marriage certificate.
I send you fifty pounds for present ex
penses.
O! happy Paddy! Didn’t he get drunk
that same night, and didn’t he start next
day for Cork, and didn’t he marry Kath
leen, and touch a thousand pounds ? By
the powers he did. And what is more,
tjok a cottage which perhaps you know>
not a thousand miles from Bruffin, in the
county of Limerick; and i’faix he forgot
his first wife clean and entirely, and nev
er told any one but myself, under a prom
ise of secrecy, the story -of bis “Fleet
marriage.'’
So, remember, as a secret, don’t tell it
to any one else.
CSHUNKS*OF WISDOM.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
Most people are like an egg, too phull
of themselfs to hold ennything else.
“Misery luvs kompany,” but kan’t
bear kompetishun; there ain’t noboddy
but what thinks thare bile is the sorest
bile in markit.
To be a big man among big men, iz
what proves a man's karakter. to be a
bull-frog amung tadpoles don’t amount
to much.
What a blessed thing it is that we
kan't “see ourselves az others see us
the sight would take all the starch out
uv us.
Thare iz lots uv pholks in this wurld
who kan keep nine out uv ten of the
commandments, without enny trouble at
all, but the one that is left thay kan’t
keep the small end ov.
Expeetatshun is the child ov Hope
and like its parent iz an arogant brat.
Exccntricitys are most alwus artify
shal, and the best that can be sed ov
them iz, thay are quite az often the re
sult ov diffidence az ov vanity.
j If i want tew git at the trew karakter
ova man, i studdy hiz vices more than
i do hiz virtues.
Those who expekt tew keep themselves
pure in this life must keep their souls
bileing all the time, like a pot, and keep
busy all the time skimming the sur
face.
It don’t dew tew to trust a man tew
much who iz alwus in a hurry, he iz like
a pissmire, whose heart and bones lays
in hiz heels.
Thare iz nuthing so delishus tew the
soul of man as an ockasional moment ov
sadness.
Jealous people alwus lnv themselves
more than they do those they are jealous
ov.
Curiosity iz the germ ov all enterpris
es ; men dig for woodchucks more
for curiosity than they do for the wood
chucks.
The purest and best specimens ov hu
man natur that the world haz ever seen,
or ever will see, hav ben the virtewous
heathen.
Men don’t fail so often in this world
from a want ov right motives as they do
from a lack of grip.
There iz only two men in this world
'who never make eny blunders, and they
are you and me mi friend.
Yung man, yu kant learn enything by
hearing yourself talk, but yu may bi
hearing others.
Thare iz lots ov folks in this world
whom yu kan bio up like a bladder, and
then kik them as high as yu feel inklin
ed.
I hav alwus notissed one thing, that
when a cunning man burns liis fingers
every body hollers for joy.
I sumtimes distinguish between talent
and genius in this.way : A man of talent
kan'make a wliisel outov a pig’s tale, but
it takes a man ov genius to make the
tale. I kat t tell now whether a goose
stands on one leg so much to rest the
leg as to rest the goose. I wash some
scientific man would tell me all about
this.
I had rather be a child again than to
be the autokrat of the world.
There is newmerous individuals in
the land who look upon wh it they
haint got az the only things worth hav
ing.
Thare is those who kant laff with im
punity ; if they ain’t stiff and sullum
they ain’t nothing.
One man ov genius to 97 thousand
four hundred aud 42 men ov talent iz
just about the rite perproshim for aktual
bizziness.
Ventilashun iz a good thing, but when
a man kant lay down and sleep in alO
aker lot without taking down lengths of
fence to let the wind in he iz altogether
too airish.
I think that a hen who undertakes
tew lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily
neglekt sum other branch ov her bizzi
ness.
Thare iz “menny a slip between a cup
and a lip,” but nothaff az menny az thare
ought tew be.
Rather than not hav faith in enything,
iam willing tew be beat 9 times out ov
10.
I don’t never have enny trubble in re
gulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep
other pholks straight iz what bothers
me.
—The Richmond Dispatch tells this -
Just after we left Roncevile, Judge C., of
Charlottesville commenced his jokes, and
soon had all the passengers in a roar.
“ I’ll tell you what I can do,” said the
judge to a correspondent of a New York
paper. “ You may think of any time you
please, whether I have ever heard of it
or not, and by seeing you keep time with
your fingers I can tell you what you are
playing.' The correspondent was skep
tical. After thinking a moment he com
menced piano playing on the back of his
seat in front of him with the grace of
Leo Wheat. “What am I playing now?”
he asked eagerly and with an air of tri
umph. “ You are playing the fool,”
replied the judge.
, ■'
“Papa,” said a hopeful, “what is punc
tuation ?”
“It is the art of putting stops my
child.”
“Then, you ought to go in the cellar
and punctuate the barrel of ale it is
leaking like forty.”
Vol. 11.-ISTo. 28.
CURRENT NOTES.
—Gin-house in Burke, with nine bales,
burned.
—Duke Williams’ gin-house, in Upson
county, burned.
—Between twenty and thirty gin hou
ses burnt in Georgia this fall.
Hon. A. H. Stephens denies that he is
to form a connection with a Washington
paper.
The State Senate of Maine contains a
single Democrat. The Democratic vote
ill that body is monotonously unani
mous.
—Sam Bard says the President stood
like a rock in a weary land during tin
panic. Yes, and he stood on the safe
side, too.
—Attempts are being made to prove
that North Carolina was inhabited by
civilised Caucasians two thousand years
before the birth of Columbus.
—A performer at one of the New
York theatres announces that he will
shoot an apple from the head of a lady
with his back to the object, bis rifle over
his shoulder, and looking in the opposite
direction, and to clench the sensation he
adds, “This is a genuine shot.”
—“I hope, Mrs. Giles,” said a lady who
was canvassing for a choir at the village
church, “you will persuade your husband
to join us. lam told lie Ims a sonorous
voice.” “A snorou3 voice, marm! Ah,
you should hear it coming out of his
nose when he’s asleep!”
—ln a speech at Dayton, Ohio, Senat
or Morton said he had in his possession
a proposal submitted by Dutch capital
ists to build a railroad with four tracks
from the West to the seaboard, without
asking any aid, either State or national.
All they ask is a charter. And all we ask
is that a charter be given them.
—The Mobile Register says: “If, as
predicted by competent judges, the cot
ton crop of the South should reach four
million bales and sell at only fifteen cts.
—putting the bale down at 450 pounds,
or $72.50 a bale—the proceeds would
not be less than two hundred and ninety
million dollars, or far more than the
united capital of all the national banks.
Who’s afraid ?”
—Memphis Avalanche: After J. St 7
Clair Abrams of Atlanta, while browsing
around with a double barreled mountain
howitzer, and looking anxiously for W.
Carey Styles, of Albany, Ga., was bound
over to keep the peace for a few months,
he publicly announced that gore -would
flow when the time expired. A desire to
heal- that they have shot out oach other’s
middle name impels us to ask if the iron
hand of the law has been removed ?”
—Says the Staunton, Va.. Vindicator:
Waking up one hundred and thirty-two
girls at once can be done nowhere but in
Staunton. An omnibus drove up to a
female seminary here the other night at
tliree o’clock, and did it without a flaw.
They all sat stock upright in bed, clutch
ing at each other in the dark and scream
ing, “it must be a man.” Somehow, no
thing ever liajjpens that a girl don’t
swear it is “man.” Of the whole num
ber, one hundred and twenty-eight cried
“Oh, where's my pa?” The old man is
never wanted except when trouble comes
along. A girl may have a hundred new
dresses to show, and it’s “Oh, ma,” but
the minute she stumps her toe it’s
“Where’s my pa?” One hundred and
eight said “the house is on fire,” and
started down stairs carrying one hun
dred and six cologne bottles, ninety-eight
copies of Byron, one Shorter Chatecism,
one hundred and three braids and eigh
ty three bustles. At breakfast next morn
ing they compared statistics. Julia
Blogsden made the bottom step of the
lowest flight, carrying her trunk, the
washstand, the bedstead and two win
dow-shutters, in two minutes and twelve
seconds. Juba is a truthful scholar.
Mary Lobsby put up her back hair, fixed
her banged front hair, and pinned on a
ruff in one minute and three seconds, and
Ellen Pitchfelder put on both shoes,
three pair of ear-rings and a polonaise
in five seconds. But the prize scholar
excited the hatred and envy of all by
proving by the cook that she fainted
“stone dead” twice.
From the New Orleans Picayune.]
COMPENSATION POE SLAVES.
R. M. T. Hunter says:
“ Indeed it seemed to be their purpose
to make all these changes operate on us
as harshly as possible; and if it had
been their design to depress still further
the country and the people, already poor
enough, their course of action could not
have been much better suited to that
end.”
The only error in this quotation is in
the words—“lf it had been their de
sign!” It was their design. The men
and party which ruled the United States
after the termination of the war, by an
overwhelming majority from the North,
did deliberately adopt it, in every way
and by all means, to impoverish, ruin,
weaken, and debase the peoplo of the
South. Great Britain has emancipated
slaves. Russia has emancipated slaves;
but no people on earth but the Radical
party of tlio North have endeavored to
make emancipated slaves the masters of
their former masters, and thus crush
them by the rule of barbarism, corrup
tion and tyranny into weak, debased po
litical slaves, willingly submissive to
their subjection and rule. Fear bad
doubtless something to do with this
policy; but hate much more. Tlio plain
truth is, that no poople ever had moro
bitter and unscrupulous enemies over
them than the white race of the North
under Radical rule since tho war; and
any man who cannot see this, disgraces
the intelligence of manhood.
But we do not agree with Mr. Hunter
that tho proposition of Prcsidont Lin
coln, that the Government of tho United
States should pay the southern peoplo
400,000,000 of dollars in compensation
for their emancipated slaves, was of tho
least value or consideration. Four hun
dred millions of dollars, to pay for four
millions five hundred thousand slaves, is
about eighty dollars a head. Slaves were
worth, at the opening of the war, seven
hundred dollars round, for every head.
To give eighty dollars for seven hundred
dollars’ value is poor statesmanship, and
no justice. We are astonished that Mr.
Hunter, as a Commissioner from the
Confederate States, at Old Point Com
fort, did not at once rebuke such a prop
osition when made by President Lincoln.
We were continually told during the wt r
that if we would only agi’ce by treaty
with the United States to emancipate our
slaves and be paid therefor, peace could
at once be obtained. We have here what
this proposition meant. It meant —Pre-
sident Lincoln himself being tho author
ity—that w 3 should receive about eighty
dollars a head for our slaves when they
were worth seven hundred. Great Brit
ain paid, if we recollect correctly, four
hundred dollars a head for the slaves slio
emancipated.
In our judgment, therefore, it is cer
tainly better for the southern people that
such compensation was not paid by the
Government of the United States, for it
would have barred out forever any claim
for substantial compensation.
That claim, in due time, will be made
by Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware, and
Missouri, and will be recognised and
paid. We hold this to be certain, if the
Government of the United States is to
exist at t all, as a free, and therefore a just,
Government.
Nor is it amongst the impossibilities of
the future that the people of those States,
being paid for their emancipated slaves,
the people of all the other southern
States should also be paid. The manu-
facturing and mining interests of tho
North look to two grand strokes of poli
cy—as soon as the public debt of the
United States shall be so diminished as
not to afford them sufficient protection—
to bring back upon the people tho
blessings of a public debt —the assump
tion of the United States of tho debts of
the northern States incurred during the
late war to carry it on—and compensa
tion to the southern States for the eman
cipation of their slaves. If the alterna
tive was presented to morrow to tho
manufacturing and money interest of tho
North—compensation for emancipated
slaves or a strictly revenue tariff, they
would go for the compensation for
slaves. But they look upon such an al
ternative as far distant—the present ir
debtedness of the United States being
quite sufficient for their purposes; but
that the assumption of the war debts of
the northern States and payment for
emancipated slaves will be subjects
pressed for practical legislation before
the Congress of the United States with
in ten years, if the national debt is ex
tinguished at the rate it has hitherto
been extinguished, we have little doubt.
The late Mr. Tliaddeus Stevens, then
the financial leader of tho House of Rep
resentatives, prepared a careful estimate
of the war debts of tho northern States,,
to be assumed by the United States, and
they amounted to more than the existing
debt of the United States. Mr. Granger,
a distinguished member of Congress
from New York, and a member of Gem
Taylor’s Cabinet, declared that the lay
ing of protective duties was so impor
tant that if the Treasury could not bo
better depleted to justify them, then it
ought to be emptied into the Potomac
from the Long Bridge. Jay Qooke also
lately declared tliat a national debt is*a
national blessing—-high authority, at
least of northern opinion, on financial
matters.