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THE GAZETTE.
N"ew Series.
THE LITTLE MAID 01 ARCADEE.
BY W. S. GILBERT.
Little maid of Arcadee
Sat on cousin Robert’s knee ;
Thought in face, and form, and limb,
Nobody could equal him.
lie was ricn, and she was fair ;
Truth, they made a pretty pair;
Happy little maiden she !
Happy maid of Arcadee !
Moments sped, as moments will,
Rapidly enough ; until
After, say, a month or two,
Robin did as Robins do—
Fickle as the month of May,
Jilted her, and ran away.
Wretched little maiden she !
Doleful maid of Arcadee !
To her little home she crept;
There she sat her down and wept ;
Maiden wept, as maidens will,
Grew so thin, and pale, and ill,
Till another came to woo—
Then again the roses grew.
Happy little maiden she!
Happy maid of Arcadee
THE .FATAL -HAMS.
One Christmas morning I attended
service in a suburban church, which was
as profusely decorated with green
boughs as if Birnam Wood had stopped
in there on its way to Dunsinane. The
day was a dazzling one, for the glittering
snow literally took the shine out of the
heavens, and the variegated windows
were in a blaze of glory. Indeed, a
Take of red light, which lodged like a
damask butterfly on the hand of a stran
ger beside me, was the means of attract
ing my attention to bis general appear
ance. His skin and hair were preter
uaturally white, like those of the Albino,
and I was not long in satisfying myself
that the 'whiteness of his hair wis pre
mature, and that tears had washed the
color from Iris cheek. For a while he
appeared oblivious of everything about
him, but he no sooner discovered the
red stain upon his hand than he became
fearfully agitated, and seizing my hat by
mistake, abruptly left the church. My
curiosity was so excited that I .as not
sorry his mistake as to the hat afforded
me sn excuse for following him, and I
must say that I felt still more inquisitive
on finding him nervously rubbing his
hand with snow, as if for the purpose of
cleaning it. I accosted him in an off
hand way. so as to restore his composure,
and the exchange of hats was duly ef
fected ; but in spite of my nonchalant
air, ho saw that I took a deep interest in
his case, and as I turned to go he asked
with an affectation of indifference whetli
er I had observed anything peculiar
about his right hand.
“No,” I carelessly replied, “unless you
refer to its being incarnated for a mo
rnent by the reflection from a red pane
of glass.”
“Was that all ?” he eagerly demanded.
“It looked to me like blood, and I have
some reason to be nervous on that sub
ject.”
As he said this he was overcome with
emotion, and the muscles of ins jaw be
came so.contmcted that he could only
articulate with the greatest difficulty ; j
so he brought the interview to a close ;
by begging me to call upon him the !
following day, as I was just the sort of |
person with whom he would like to talk j
over a matter which had distressed him I
for a long time. I had not the heart to |
refuse, although I hardly relished the !
idea of trusting myself with an utter
I stranger whose thoughts had taken such
a sanguinary turn ; and my confidence
in him was not increased by the fact
| that in directing me where to find him
: he had been very careful nut to divulge
his name.
‘•Bv the way,” I called after him, “what
name shall I ask for ?”
But he pretended not to hear me, and
hurried oil' faster than ever.
J The next day I called upon him, pur
! suant to my promise, and when he ap
| peared in answer to my knock, addressed
! him as “Mr. Andrews”—that being the
| name on the door-plate.
“My name is not A idrews,” he gravely
1 replied, “and 1 only wish it was, for a
reason which will presently appear. Mr.
Andrews and I keep bachelor's hall here,
and some might consider us a little
eccentric, as we are somewhat radical in
our notions, and believe in all the ‘isms
of the day.”
He then thanked me for being so
punctual, and after ushering me into the
parlor, insisted on treating me to some
thing, as the proceeding next in order.
While he was absent from the room for
that purpose, I had ample leisure to look
i about me, and saw' one article at least
j which i had subsequent reason to re
j member. That was a vase or urn, evi
j dently modeled after what are known as
I cinerary tuns, because the ancients used
them for the ash sof their dead. On it
was painted the Genius of Death—not
lfeaning as usual upon an inverted
torch, but holding one aloft; while the
space for the inscription was as yet
blank.
On the return of my host he resumed
the conversation as folio \vs:
“I was speaking a moment ago of ‘the
isms of the day.’ Do you believe in any
of them ?”
“I can’t say that I do,” was my reply,
“and I regard the majority of them as
humbugs of the most colossal propor
tions Take Spiritualisn , for example;
how can any intelligent person put faith
in that when the ghost of Dan Webster
ESTABLISHF.D 1859.
ELBERTON GEORGIA, AUGUST 4. 1875.
m’squotes the Constitution of the United
States, and the spirit of Lindley Murray
is not aware that prepositions govern
the objective case!”
The reader will perceive that I was
trying to be as cheerful as possible, and
I had the satisfaction of seeing that the
face of my hearer had already lost some
thing of its pallor.
“Then,” said he, “I suppose you re
gard all the popular superstitions in
much the same light
“Precisely so,” I returned, “for, in my
opinion, black cats and red ears of corn
have less to do w th mundane affairs
than some people imagine.”
“Would to heaven,” he fervently re
joined, “that no more potent agencies
than those you mention were at work in
our lives—”
Here he hesitated for a moment, and
then added with an increasing tremor in
his voice-
“You have heard of such a thing as a
fatality in names ?"
“Yes,” I replied, “it was once thought
that any one named Agnes was doomed
to go mad; that James was a bad name
for a King of Scotland, and all that sort
of thing. As for Onomancy, or divina
tion by the letters of a name, the luckiest
names are supposed to be those in which
the numeral letters amount to the high
est sum.”
“Well,” he Said, with a perceptible
shudder, “my name is Lewis Lewis—do
you see anything peculiar in t at?”
“Nothing,” I coolly answered, “except
that the cluistiar. name and surname are
identical.”
“And have you not heard,” he asked
in a husky undertone, “that the pos
sessor of such a name is predestined to
be hung ?”
“I. have heard something of the kind,”
I replied, “but I never supposed such
an absurd idea could give a moment's
uneasiness to any one.”
“Nevertheless,” he rejoined, “I sol
ernnly believe that events as much be
yond my control as the procession of the
equinoxes, will yet place the black cap
upon my brow. It was once the custom
to bury murderers with a stake through
the heart, but mine is pierced in advance
whenever I think of ‘the deep damnation j
of my taking-off.’ ”
“But, ’ I reasoned, “consider the im
p's ability of your committing a capital
crime.”
“I have taken that into consideration,” i
lie responded, “but it affords me little j
consolsaion in of ttio that so ,
many innocent persons have been the ,
victims of circumstantial evidence.”
Nothing could be said to that, so 1
started off on another track by advising
him to take a sea voyage as a means of
diverting his mind
“For,” I continued, “when we once
get to riding a particular hobby it soon
becomes like the enchanted horse in the
Arabian Nights”—and with a levity
which was perhaps ill timed, I added—
“ You have no reason to fear the perils
of the deep, when the proverb assures
us that those born to be bung can never
be drowned.”
“I have never experienced the slight
est benefit from travel,” he replied, “for
m my mental condition I could only
look upon Spain as the country of the
garrote, and upon France as the country
of the guillotine, and think how a death
by either instrument would be less igno
minious than mine, which will be the
death ot Jack Sheppard and Captain
Ki .and.”
-Mr. Lewis,” said I, “the morbid con
dition you describe might be occasioned
by as simple a thing as dyspepsia, for I
know a Quaker who always acts iike a
ruffian alter eating a \\ elch rabbit; and
what we call total depravity is nothing
more nor less than a deficiency of gastric
juice. If, on the other hand, your trou
ble is a bare matter of superstition, you
ought, for the sake of consistency, to
adopt the remedies which the super
stitious employ in such cases. There is
the medical ring, for instance, in which
they v/ear a hyacinth stone for sleepless
ness, an agate for eye diseases, a jasper
for dropsy, an amethyst for inebriety,
and a coral for nervousness and causeless
fears—just the very thing you want.
But, to be serious, Mr. Lew'is, you may
depend upon it that all yoitr ghastly
apprehensions will prove to be the
merest shadows.” *
“That may be,” he replied, “but they
lire such shadows as
‘struck more terror to the soul of Richard
Than could the substance often thousand Rich
monds.’ ”
After a little more talk to the same
purpose, our interview came to an end,
and he presented me with a token of his
gratitude in the shape of a handsome
quarto, bound in Turkey morocco and
illustrated by Dore ; while I, in return,
hpr&Jed him my city address, with the
jocular assurance that I would be happy
to procure his acquittal whenever he
was placed on tr.al for his life.
I returned to the city a day or two
afterward, and had forgotten all about
my friend Lewis, when his spiritual ad
viser came to me one morning by the
early train, and brought the appalling
intelligence that he (Lewis) had mur
dered Mr. Andrews under circumstances
of such exceptional atrocity that threats
of lynching were openly indulged in. I
was so struck with amazement that it
was some moments before I could mas
ter mysejf sufficiently to ask the partic
ulars of the tragedy
“Well,” he began, several residents of
our village were returning from a politi
cal meeting late at night, when they ob
served a t emendous volume of flame
arrd smoke issuing from the chimney of
the house occupied by Andrews and
Lewis. No signs of life being visible,
the first thought of the spectators was
to arouse the sleeping inmates, and with
that object in view they burst open the
door, some rushing up stairs and others
down The latter party were met at
the head of the cellar stairs by Lewis,
w-bo wore a startled, or some thought a
guilty look, and made strenuous efforts to
prevent anyone from descending into tne
cellar, from which proceeded an odor of
burning flesh. But, pushing him asid?,
they hurried down to see a most sicken
ing sight. A furnace of unique design
had cracked with the heat, exposing to
view the calcined remains of poor An
drew. The murderer fled in the dark
and at the time of his capture was en
gaged in burying a bloody razor, and a
will by which his victim left everything
to him. Of course, all he can do now is
to prepare for the gallows.”
“The case ceitainly has a desperate
look," I remarked, “but there are always
two sides to a story.”
The clergyman looked at me as if he
doubted my sanity, amt said in a caustic
way:
“The other side of the question is not
wanted, for he has already confessed
the crime.”
“Can you recall the precise language
of that confession ?" I asked.
“I can,” he replied, “I was asking him
whom he wished to retain as counsel,
and he said it would not be worth while
to introduce any defense, as he must in
evitably be hung.”
I was much encouraged to find this
so-called confession was not irreconeila
ble with the most perfect innocence,
and was simply a reiteration of his old
belief that any effort to oppose his
destiny would be similar to a nautilus
coming into collision with a large man
of-war.
“Then he concluded to send for me
after all ?” said I.
“No,” was the reply, “what brings
me here is this. Shortly before this
murder, Mr. Andrews, who also belong
ed to my church, deposited with me a
sealed envelope with directions to open
it not less than three days after his
death. That period having elapsed,
we might as well examine the document
at once.”
It read as follows :
“October, 187-i.
“Tp Whom it May Concekn : Cremation
is now an accomplished fact, and the
chariot of lire is again called into requi
sition. The body of the wife of Sir
Charles Dilke, Member of Parliament,
who died recently in London, was burn
ed at Dresden, in the furnace invented
by Herr Siemens. The brother in law
ci the deceased, and many scientific
gentlemen were present, and in seventy
live minutes six pounds of the ashes
were placed in an urn as all that remain
ed of Lady Dilke am] the casket. With
in the past few days, cremation of the
dead has been ordered at Vienna, and
the furnace of Dr. Reclam has been test
ed at Breslau before the National Sci
ence Congress. Sir Henry Thompson
has shown the sanitary advantages of
cremation, and the Bishop of Manches
ter has vindicated it from a religious
point of view. Let the g'ood work go
on until death is associated with the
bright blue sky and the picture urn, in
stead of with the darksome ground and
the dreadful prerogative of the worm.
' Let it go on until men like the historian
Prescott and the novelist BuLver are no
i longer tormented by the fear of prema-
I ture interment. Let it go on until w’e
:no longer have reason to imagine that
| every churchyard rose has once bloomed
I upon some cheek, and that every church
yard violet has the look of some blue
eye.
“Having been assured by the best of
medical authority that I am liable to die
at any moment of heart disease, I have
had a furuacc constructed in my cellar
something on the principle of the one
which Prof. Brunetti, of Padua, exhibit
ed models at the Vienna Exposition;
and Mr. Lewis has promised to perform
for me the same service which Lord
Byron and Leigh Hunt performed for
the poet Shelby by the bay of Spezzia.
“I have written this to show that Mr.
Lewis has acted with fulx authority from
me, and request that the widest publici
ty be given to the facts of my case in or
der that something of a practical charac
ter may be given to the cremation move
ment in America.
Caleb Andrew's.”
“Hurrah !” I shouted, waving the pa
per above mv head. ‘ Your great mur
der has literally ended in smoke, and
our friend Lewis will escape the halter
in spite of his name.”
“Don’t be too certain of that,” replied
the clergyman, “for, as I said before,
there is a strong disposition to lynch
him, and you know it is still the tenden
cy of human nature to drive the nail to
its head and to dip the sponge in the
gall. At all events, we had better make
the explanation at once.”
We were not a moment too soon. A
roaring mob led by a man whose open
countenance reminded me of the mouth
of the Mississippi had already taken
Lewis from the jail and were dragging
him toward a buttonball tree which
stood a short distance off. But my
blood w'as not fairly up to a boiling
point until I saw the poor fellow pitch
headlong in consequence of stepping on
a rope which had been placed around
his neck.
Calling on the clergyman to eorrobo
rate my statement, I succeeded in con
Vol. I V.—No. 14.
vincing the majority of the crowd that
they were almost as much indebted to
me as Lewis himself, for I had prevent
ed them from committing one of those
blunders which are said to be worse
than crimes.
“But how about the bloody razor and
I the will ?" asked one of the most incred
| ulous.
Lewis explained as follow i:
“Mr. Andrews made me promise that
I after his death 1 would sever his jugu
lar vein before committing bis body to
I the flames, so as to preclude the possi
| bility of his being burned in a trance.
! On finding that 1 was suspected of tmir
j der, I was anxious to conceal what
j would be likely to afford additional
| grounds for that suspicion.”
I have done with the unpleasant part
of my story. Mr. Lewis was set at lib
erty, as a matter of course, and found
that, the Andrews estate was left to him
lon condition that he changed his name
1 —the testator thus considerately bring
ing him within the act authorizing a
change of name on its being shown to
the court that the petitioner will derive
a pecuniary benefit from such change.
After thus getting rid of his “fatal
name,” there is every reason to hope
tuat the evening of his life will be a
moonlight one, and without a cloud, ex
cept those rose colored ones which help
to beautify the sunset.
OBIGIN OF THE CORONER'S INQUEST.
A gentlewoman in England, after
burying six husbands, found a gentle
man hardy enough t.) make her a wife
once more. •
For several months their happiness
was mutual, a circumstance which seem
ed to pay no great compliment to the
former partners of her bed, who, she
said, had disgusted her by their sottish i
ness and infidelity. In the view of know- j
ing the real character of his amorous !
mate, the gentleman began frequently j
to absent himself, to return at late hours,
and when he did return to appear as if
intoxicated.
At first, reproaches, but afterwards
menac s, were the consequences of his
conduct. The gentleman persisted, and
seemed every day to become addicted to
his bottle.
One evening, when she imagined him
Mead drunk, she took a leaden weight
and having melted it, she approached
her husband, who pretended to be sound
usleei'. in order to put it into Lus ear ]
through a pipe ; convinced of her wick
edness, the gentleman started up and
seized her, when, having procured as
sistance, he secured her till morning,
and conducted her before the magistrate,
who sent her to prison.
The bodies of the six husbands were
dug up, and, as lead was found within
the skulls of each, the proof of her
guiit appeared so strong upon her trial
that she was condemned to be executed
To this cir. urnstance are we indebted
for that useful regulation by which no
corpse can be interred without legal in
spection.
How Marbles ake Made. —The chief
place of the manufacture of marbles—
those little pieces of stone which con
tribute so largely to the enjoyment of
boys—is at Oberstein, on the Nalie in
Germany, where there are large agate
mills and quarries, the refuse of which
is turned to good \ aying account by
being made into Btnall balls, employed
by experts to knuckle with, and are
mostly sent to the American market.
The substance used in Saxony is a hard,
calcareous stone, which is first broken
into blocks, nearly square, by blows with
a hammer. These are thrown by the
hundred or two into a small sort of mill,
which is formed of a flat, stationary slab
of stone, w.tli a number of eccentric
furrow's upon its face. A block of oak
or other hard wood, of the diametric
size, is placed over the stongs and partly
resting upon them The small block of
wood is kept revolving while water flows
upon the stone slab. In about fifteen
minutes the stones are turned into
spheres, and then, being fit for sale, are
henceforth called marbles. One estab
lishment with but three mills turns out
sixty thousand marbles each week.
Miscegenation.- Intermarriage of whites
and blacks is forbidden by law in In
diana, but a German gardener in that
State has wooed, won and been wedded
to a black woman. The knot was tied
by a negro preacher. Bride, groom and
preacher are in jail, subject to a penalty
of ten years imprisonment and a fine of
$5,00(1
A man in Portland, Oregon, thought
he recognized an old friend, and pro
ceeded to slap him heartily on the back
and exclaim, “Hello, old feller, where in
h—ll did you come from?” before be
found out that it wasn’t his fnend, but
the Rev. E. Payson Hammond, the re
vivalist.
Gen. J. B. Hood is writing a book
which will embrace an account of his
operations around Atlanta, his Tennessee
campaign, and his reply to Gen. Joseph
E. Johnston.
While in New York Gov. Smith ex
amined Clews’ books and reports them
much mutilated. He heard of Bullock,
who was freely circulating about New
York.
Joseph E. Johnston is elected Presi
dent of the Arkansas Industrial Uni
evrsity.
Judge Underwood is evidently a good
lawyer. No one can doubt this who
reads his remarks to four young men
recently admitted to the bar in bis cir
cuit. He must speak from experience..
Listen to him, and doubt, if doubt ye
can : “Young gentlemen,” said the Judge,
“I want to say a thing or two to you.
Yon have passed as good an examination
as usua 1 , perhaps better; but you don’t
know anything. Like these young fel
lows just back from their graduation
college, you think you know a great
deal. It’s a great mistake. If you ever
get to be any account, you will be sur
prised at your present ignorance. Don't
be too big for your breeches. Go round
to the Justice's courts and try to learn
something. Don’t be afraid—let off
qpon a high key. You will, do doubt,
speak a great deal of nonsense You
will have one consolation—no one will
know it. The great mass of mankind
take sound for sense. Never mind about
your case, pitch in—you are about as
apt to gain as lose. Don’t be ashamed
at the wise looking Justice. He don't,
know a thing. He's a dead beat on
knowledge. Stand to your rack, fodder
or no fodder, and you will see daylight
after awhile. The community generally
suppose that you will be rascals. There
is no absolute necessity that you should.
You may be smart without being tricky.
Lawyers ought to be gentlemen. Some
of them don’t come up to the standard,
and are a disgrace to the fraternity.
They know more than any other race
generally, and not much in particular.
They dn't know anything about sand
stones, carboniferous periods and ancient
land animals known as fossils. Men
that make out they know a great deal on
these subjects, don't know much. They
are humbugs—superb humbugs. They
are ancient land animals themselves, and
will ultimately be fossils. You are dis
missed, with tlie sincere hope of the
Court that you will not make asses of
yourselves.”
SOUTHERN VS. NORTHERN CO TTON
MILLS.
A few days since, says the New York
Bulletin, we published the results of the
expaiimcnts made in cotton manufacture
at the South, by which it appeared that
the mills of Georgia had been able to
run steadily and full, and to pay hand
some dividends on the capital invested.
Aim os! simultaneously com the news of
the closing of more of the New England
mills on account of over production and
inability to rind a market for their
goods. Taken together, these are sug
gestive facts and to the further inquiry
of the causes at work which upon this
showing would indicate a tendency to
change in the location of this industry.
It is not only true that machinery
costs less now than that of most of the New
brought England mills, which were large
ly at war prices ; but the same may be said
of mill property. Water privileges, darns,
mills and machinery can doubtless all be
bought and constructed at nearly, if
not quite, half the aggregate cost of
many of the Now England mills. Be
side, the South has virtually a protective
tariff on its manufacture, both on raw
material and goods, in the saving in
transportation. And this advantage it
will continue to hold until its produo
lion exceeds its home consumption when
only it can be compelled to come into
equal competition with tho mills at tho
North. These facts must have an im
portant influence for some years to
come, no doubt, while tho effects may
very possibly prove permanent. At all
events the disposition certainly exists on
the part of tho Southern people to make
a thorough expeiiment in the matter.
Capital only is wanting, and that,
doubtless, will be speedily supplied un
der the new era of prosperity which is
evidently dawning on the South.
The Vicksburg Herald tells the fol
lowing, which is richly worth republish
ing: “A member of the colored church
was the other evening conversing earn
estly with an acquaintance, and seeking
to have him change into better paths,
but the friend said that he was too ofton
tempted to permit him to become a
Christian. ‘Whar’s yer backbone, dat
ye can t rose up and stand temptation !’
exclaimed the good man. ‘I was dat
way myself once. Right rn dis ycre
town I had a chance to steal a par o’
boots—mighty nice ones, too. Nobody
was dar to see me, and ] reached out my
hand and de debbil said take ’em. Den
a good spent whispered fur me to let
dem boots alone.’ ‘And you didn’t take
’em?’ ‘No, sah—not much. 1 took a
pa r o’ "heap shoes off de shelf an’ left
them boots alone !’ ”
A gentleman of Baltimore, unmindful
of the fate of Icarus, has invented a fiv
ing machine in which ho proposes to
cross the ocean during tho present sum
mer. The machine appears to be a
combination of the balloon, the wind
mill and the steam launch. The voyager
rides in a boat containing a small steam
engine, which is used for moving tho
“wings” of the balloon and steering it
through the air. The boat is attached
to the flying machine witu a rope, and
thus is drawn through the water. It is
said that Mr. G. W. Gail, of the firm of
Gail & Ax, tobacco dealers, will furnish
the inventor, Mr. Schroder, with the
money to build one of these flying ma
chines, and the contract for the same
ha* already been given out.
Tilden and Washburne. —Tho great
gambler, John Morrisey, thinks Tilden
and Bayard will be the Democratic nom
iuees for the Presidency. Tilden is
worth $7,000,000, is a business man,
with first rate' legal knowledge and ex
ecutive ability. Of Washburne, Mr.
Morrisey thus speaks : “1 can see where
Washburne would poll a great vote. He
saved those priests in Paris. Do you
suppose the Catholic church will ever
get over that ? He saved the Germans
from the people of Paris. He stayed
right there at his post at the time.” A
Democrat, no matter wlmt his religion,
will vote for the Democratic candidate,
and, unless some juggling be used, that
candidate will not be Gov. Tilden.