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PROFESSIONAL CAROS.
ATT ORN E Y S A T L AYY,
ELBERTOSf, A.
WILL P-RACXICE IN THE COURTS OF
the Northern Circuit and Franklin county
Special attention given to collections.
J. 8. BA BXETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ELBHRTOSf, TJA.
.IttHN T. OSBORI,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW,
elbektqn, ga.
Tin ILL PRACTICE IN SUPERIOR COURTS
VV and Supreme Court. Prompt attention
t.o the collection of claims. cevl7,ly
L. J. ARTRELL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ATLANTA, GA,
PRACTICES IN THE UNITED STATES Clß
cuit and District Courts at Atlanta, and
Supreme and .Superior Courts of the State.
liLSiLA'dd L'AAITi VA -a.'A
lXbowman' & CO-,
HEAL ESTATE AGENTS
ELISERTOA 7 GA.
'tTJ ILL attend to the business of effecting
VV sales and purchases of REAL ESTATE
as Agents, on REASONABLE TERMS.
jgMjr Applications should be made to T. J.
Cowman. Sepia-tf
wmmmm* wmii.
i ■
x : .S vY.- vw
J. F. ATJIjX)
A'Y'V
di/ARRIAGE j|f |AN LFACT’R
Id sL 53 ad iiT OT, Cl EOKG fl A .
WITH GOOD WORKMEN!
LOWEST PRICES!
CLOSE PERSONAL ATTENTION TO
BUSINESS. AND At; EXPERIENCE
OF 27 TEARS,
He hopes by honest and fair dealing to compete
any other manufactory.
Good Buggies, warranted, - 8125 to 3160
i; E PAIRING AND BLACK SMITHING.
Work done in this line in t Very best style.
Tlio Host HAraos3
TERMS CASH.
A!y22-i v
j* m. izAummAh
c■ " •
ffifl /;•
r: j
■>. .- . ,M. r: , 1 -
w .ffi -
%) --'L
THE REAL LI YE
FASHIONABLE TAILOB,
Up-Stairs, over Swift & Arnold’s Store,
ELBSRrOV, GEORGIA.
mud See I lim.
TI I E ELREUTON
DRUG STORE
.5. 0, EDMUNDS, Proprietor.
Has always on build a full line of
Pure Drug's and Patent Medicines
Makes a speeiuUv of
; r . ; . v AS „
PERFUMERY
Anew assortment of
WRITING PAPER & ENVELOPES
Plain and frnev. just received, iuoliiili’.n r a sup
ply' or LEGAL CAP.
CI a Alls ' A N I V TOBA CC O
of all varieties ei'ii.-'tauliy on hand.
F. A. V. SOSLETT,
mmmti iaioe
ELBEUTON, GA.
Will contract for work in STONK and TSTIICK
anywhere in Elbert county [jel6 Cm
CENTRAL HOTEL
MRS. W. M THOMAS,
pkopbie: iiess,
AUGUSTA GA
W. 1 ROBERTS^
O A.EPSNT3K & BUILDER
FTBEUfCVR GA.
T HAVE LOCATED IN' ELBEUTON! WHERE
.1 I will be prepared to do all work in my line
as cheap at y good workman can afford. Con
tracts respectfully solicited.
Shop on the west ride of and near the
jail.
Coffins Hade to Order.
F. W. JACOBS,
HOUSE I SIGN PAINTER
Glazier and Grainer,
ELBEUTON, GA.
Orders Solicited. Satisfaction Guaranteed.
PEASE’S
PALACE DIKING ROOMS,
AT Ej iNT A, Csi!©iiGlA.
The Champion Dining Saloon of tho Sonth
EVERYBODY IS INVITED TO CALL.
THE GAZETTE.
jSTew Series.
REMINISCENCES OF RE?. JAMES DAN
NELLY BY AN EX-ABBEVILLIAN.
[From the Abbeville Press and Banner.]
Rev James Danpelly, when I first
knew him in 1834, was a traveling preach
er in the pSouth Carolina Conference, and
about G 5 years of age, but was soon af
ter located by reason of physical disa
bility. He did not live at the Court
House, but his home was in the District,
and as a Methodist preacher he was
public property, and whom any person
or place had the right to claim. He oc
casionally, but rarely in my day, preach
ed at the Court ...onse, because he said
“the Devil had a mortgage on the whole
place, and James Moore was the only
one the said creditor could not close out
at any moment, and James did not need
his services.”
“Father Dannelly” was b rn in Co
lumbia county, Georgia, and raised or
dragged up in the same, and was an
early type of “those days.” He was
practically familiar with the “four kings,”
gander pulling, whiskey of all sizes, et
cetera. He lrad the greater part of his
life two legs, but one of them from half
way between tho hip-joint and tire knee
was wood. It became thus, as I have
always understood, by a fall from a
horse in riding a race in which the stake
was five dollars cash and one gallon
of whiskey on a credit, and amputa
tion became necessary on account of his
stimulated condition at the time and
afterwards.
Ho was sonndiy converted soon after
at 30 years of age, and was baptised, as
I have heard him say, in the public road
with water scraped with the hand from
ah< rse track. It was muddy, but being
in the name of the Father, and Son and
Holy Ghost, Ire never doubted its va
lidity and efficacy. lie knew not at the
time a letter in tho alphabet, but com
menced at once to knew them, and with
but little help was in six months a good 1
reader. Soou after he was licensed to
preach and went to work as an itinerant
preacher in rhe Georgia conference. He
afterwards was transferred to the South
Carolina conference, and lived and died
in it. He studied bard, but only the
Bible an such books that threw light
upon it, and when I knew him ho could
repeat every text in it as well as its
number, chapter and book. He had a
memory beyond any thing ever heard of;
could repeat a conversation held with
him 30 years before, as well as the date
and hour.
Of all peculiar men, he was of all the
most pe uliar. With two whole legs
he would have weighed perhaps 225
pounds, with large body and small legs;
in heigbth about six feet, two inches ;
a head as round as an apple, and hair
only on the lower edge of it; no eye
brows ; a small nose and mouth ; no
chin ; small eyas and when aroused in
speaking they were often closed, leaving
tho spectator in doul.it where they would
reappear. Had a clear, shrill voice be
vond any powers of description and a
way of repeating what ho desired to im
press. lie was a man of two or three
leading ideas, to wit: That ‘rhe Metho
disk church was the light of the world,
and that the culminating point was in
1784, to which all the past was but a
preparation, when the church was or
ganized in the United States, and eve
rything since in discordance or depart
ure was a retrograde. He wove the shad
belly coat to the last day of his life, and
his sons as they came boro the honored
names of Olin, Coke and As bury. An
other idea of his war, that sin c >ul of
ten best bo reached and exercised by a
grapple with its horns and heels; ho
was down on tuck-combs, hair pins,
bream: pins, finger and ear-rings, silk
rad taw Iric s generally ;
and In; preached against avarice, lying,
theft, adultery, and all specific sins, and
often intimated who were the local vic
tor!- in them. He double-shoed against
drinking and drunkenness, [it is said
in his early efforts be excepted peach
brandy and honey for the stomach’s
sake, as not sinful, and if so, not to be
classed with “Dexter,”- “Rifle,” and
“Bust-head” whiskey.] He regarded ev
ery man as his friend, and all who nam
ed Chiist in sincerity a brother, but he
called none of them brother. It was
James, Paul or William, as the case was.
lie war very particular in his diet, not
as a connoisseur but as a dyspeptic, and
when you invited him to your house you
had to name the bill of fare and endorse
the cook, i bad a house once and gave
him a standing invitation to it and he
stayed with me often, because as he
said, he liked me but my cooking better.
He was a small eater ; broiled chick n
and broiled ham, and but little of either,
was ail he wanted.
His tenacity to Christian names was
generally pleasant, but occasionally an
annoyance. He was often called upon
to marry couples, and the writer on one
occasion was to be a waiter, and the
bride not liking her intended husband's
adjective pronoun, requested me to ask
him to say “this man” and “this wo
man.” I did so, and she felt safe, but
it came out “Barnabas” and “Rebecca,”
(or something else) much to her discom
fiture, to be better appreciated by Bish
op Capers than any other. He never
laughed or smiled, but liked to see oth
„ers do so ; never shouted, but had no
objection to white people shouting,
but did not believe in it among the col
ored.
I remember at Sharon camp-meeting
in 1844, he was giving out the 9 o’clock
morning hymn, when a colored sister
behind began shoutim* and clapping.
Turnfhg around, he refmirked. “You are
ESTABLISHED 1859.
ELBERTOX4 GEORGIA, APRIL 19, 1876*
too soon ; wait until night and go it if
you like.” He had a holy horror of
honorary titles, and I have heard him
say he would rather carry a dead dog to
his coat-tail than Doctor of Divinity.
He had a carefully prepared sermon
against “stuff,” which he carried for ten
years to conference to preach, but cer
tain peculiar influences always overcame
him. He was as tractable as a child in
any matter not involving principle ; but
would confront lions in the path of du
ty, as ha conceived it. He often preach
ed what were called “knock-down ser
mons,” from a standing text: “And the
child was called Ichabod, signifying that
the glory of Israel had departed. ’ He
told me in confidence of 01.000 offered
him never to preach from tint text again
at a certain place. He declined the of
for, and redoubled Ins appointment, and
thought he saved one and would have
saved the other (both were then dead)
if he had not been so far gone when he
found him.
He was always at the Cokesbury camp
meetings, and there lived near one Pe
ter, who had been off and on a member
of the church for 20 years, just “on”
again and happy, and shaking hands,
he remarked : “Well, brother Dannelly,
lam savingly converted now ” “If you
ire certain of it, Peter,” said he, “you
had better get some friend to kill
you, for if ever you got to Heaven it
will bo just on the heels of a camp
meeting.”
He had no use in tho world for im
mersion—would put them under If they
desired, and he often encountered an
noyance at a shaky member, who had
•*ome in without it There were several
such around Beulah, and often attended
the latter, and occasionally the “much
water” arguments troubled them, and
Father Dannelly had to visit and com
peso their minds, but which only lasted
for a season He paid them a fourth
visit in which he told them that he
■could prove that at the time our Sa
riour was baptised with the water of
Jordan, there was not enough in it to
Irown a chicken, and if run at all, it was
i stream so weak that lie could have
stopped it with the point of his wooden
eg ; and if they could ’sot got over their
loubts and fears to go along and get
James Chiles to put them in Long Cane
:o their heart’s content.” I think it set
fled them.
The old man was almost an invalid
’or many years, owing to bis weight
tnd difficulty in walking. We raised at
ihe Court House 0125 an 1 procuredjiira
n Baltimore an Anglesea leg, but 'the
cnee did not work right and wc sent it
jack for repairs, and it was lost at sea
rn its return. We proposed another,
which he declined to accept.
He was always interesting and never
preached to empty benches. Every one
expected to hear something original and
were never disappointed. A favorite
subject with him on great occasions was
the Prophecies, in which he could array
facts and illustrations of great power
rad beauty. He became the martyr of
3’uoice language ; and I have heard the
most beautiful and striking thoughts
Fall from his lips in language that spark
led as it fell. He died about 1853, and
has no doubt shaken hands with the
host of redeemed, regenerated and dis
enthralled.
“Father Dannelly” did not know all.
Who does ? Did not try to please eve
rybody. Who can ? But when he start
ed heavenward he fought for the “high
est mark of the prize of his high call
Ing,” and labored according to his best
Ideas of tho mode of accomplishment, to
tarry every man, woman and child with
him.
— o *.
BIAINE i
The following appears in the Indian
apolis Sentinel: J. C. Harrison, a prom
inent banker of this city, is in possession
of a secret, the exposure of which will
forever blast the propects of a certain
candidate for the Presidency. It is this:
An entry appears in the minutes of the
Executive Committee of the Board of
Directors of the Union Pacific Railroad
Company, of December 16th, 1871, show
ing that $64,000 of ’ the Company’s
money found its way into the hands of
some persons who had no right to it.
At a meeting of the Board of Direc
tors in September, 1872, Mr. Harrison,
who has been a member of the board for
a number of years, through the influence
of Senator Morton, introduced a resolu
tion calling for a committee to investi
gate the matter, and report wh o received
the large sums of money, and all circum
stances attending its disbursement. No
sooner hadjthis been done, than Mr. Rol
lins, Secretary of the Board, quietly
went to Mr. Harrison, and said, “you
must withdraw that resolution ; an in
vestigation will involve Mr. Blaine and
defeat his re-election. He got the
money.” The resolution was withdrawn.
These facts are known to Wilson, of
lowa, who was present at the time the
resolution was introduced and with
drawn, as a member of the Board ef
Directors. It is proper to say that a lot
of worthless Arkansas railroad bonds
were deposited as collateral security for
tl is money.
Nobody will be more surprise 1 at the
appearance of this article than Mr. Har
rison.
Mr. Harrison has been asked for a
statement of facts, Font declines to say
more than that if brought before a Con
gressioual Committee, ho he will tell all
he knows about it, without concealment.
Everybody reads The Gazette.
GOVERNOR SMI HI DECLINES TO BE A
CANDIDATE.
Atlanta, Ga., April 7, 1576.
Messrs R. H. Chilton, W. L. Salisbury,
John H. Martin, W. J. Watt, Peter
Preer, and E. C. Hood, Columbus,
Ga.:
My -Dear Sirs: —l have the honor
to acknowledge the receipt of your favor
of the 13th ultimo, asking me to allow my
name to be presented to the people for
renomination for the office of governor
of Georgia. The gravity of the qnes
tion, thus presented will, I trust, be ac
cepted as a sufficient reason for any
delay in replying to vour esteemed com
munication.
It. is known to you, gentlemen, as well
as to other friends in different parts of
the State, that I have not desired a re
election to the office I now hold. So
far as my own personal feelings are con
cerned, I have made no secret of my in
tention to retire at the expiration of my
present term. If for a little while past,
I have appeared to occupy a different
position Brora that originally taken and
frequently announced, it was in conse
quence of assaults made on my admin
istration, and, indirectly through me up
on . the legislature and tho democratic
party in the State.
It is not necessary to discuss tho mo
tives which inspired these attacks, fur
ther than to say, that they were of such
a character as, in my judgment, made it
proper for me to suspend my first in
tention, and hold myself in a position
to answei; any demand which the party
might thin* fit to lay upon mo. It is
now manifest, however, that any injury
resulting from these assaults has fallen
alone upon those whose interests they
were designed to subserve, whether the
assailants be, as you suppose, “the hold
ers of discredited bonds, partisans, or
personal enemies.”
This consideration leaves mo free to re
turn to my original purpose and desire,
and to '<Jeclin : as I now do, with great
fospeffi, to have my name presented to
the approaching gubernatorial conven
tion for r‘-nomination.
'I cannot conclude this communication
without returning thanks to yon
flattering terms in which yon rra pleas
ed to; express your friendly regards for
me. I desire, also, to make ray grate
ful acknowledgments to tho people of
Georgia, for the unmerited honor they
have -rjofifefrod upon mo, and for the
generfAG support they have accorded
my e 'Tr-.s to administer the great trust
ray lir-ndc. When we recall
the chaotic state in which we found
every department of the government in
1872, and contrast it with our present
peaceful and happy condition, I feel that
we all have cause for congratulation.
Our public debt has been ascertained,
and the interest on it is now Regularly
paid; while our bonds are to day rated
far above par in the great centres of
trade. Our educational system has
been established on a solid foundation;
our varied resources are being rapidly
and systematically developed; and our
judiciary, [for integrity and ability, is
second to none in the entire Union.
I can only wish that the prosperous
career upon which we have entered may
suffer no check; and that both in our
State and Federal relations, we may en
joy for many generations to come, tho
blessing of peace and liberty. I am,
gentlemen, your friend and, ob’t serv’t
Jas. M. Smith.
-
Effects of a Californa Snow Storm.
The Indians living at the head of Moffit
creek came upon a band of deer snowed
up in the mountains a few days ago, and
killed tho entire band, numbering thirty
two head. They also found others lying
around dead, having starved, doubtless.
These deer hadevideutlv taken refuge up
there from the storms, and the snow be
came so deep they were unable to get
out, as the Indians saw the snow where
tbe deer were found trampled down by
them. The Indians also reported finding
a band of horses snowed in and starved
to death near the same place. This is,
doubtless, the band of wild horses that
have been running in that locality for
some years. This band was composed of
horses wieh have from time to time
strayed from their owners in Shasta and
Scott valleys, geting together and keep
ing in the mountains. They had become
so wild that it was impossible to catch
any of them. They have been a source
of great annoyance to farmers, for if any
of their horses got away and entered
this band it was impossible to recover
them. The snow is about twelve feet
deep where they were found.
On tho 11th in the Republican Con
vention of South Carolina, Elliot and
Judge Mackey drew pistols on each oth
er and precipitated great disorder,
which completely broke up the Conven
tion for about half an hoar. Elliott’s
wife was carried out screaming. Other
parties interfered and kept the two
apart till order was restored. Several
fights almost came off bt tween tho
friends of Elliott and Mickey. The Pat
terson faction prevailed in organizing
the convention. The dispute was about
tbe admission of delegates from coun
ties where the seats were contested.
A little fellow being told by a young
man to get off’ his knee, that he was
too heavy to hold in that way, made
quite a sensation among the persons
present by yelling back, “Too heavy,
hey? Siscer Sal weighs a hundred
pounds more than I, and you held her
on your knee for four hours last night.”
Vol. IY.-No. 51.
“AN AX TO GRIND.”
We owe more of our common sayings
and pithy proverbs to Dr. Franklin than
many of us think or know. Wo say of
! one who flatters or serves ns for tho sake
of some secrets, selfish gain or favor:
j “He has an axe to grind.” In the doc
| tor’s “Memoirs” is the following story
(much after the manner of tho “whistle”
story), which explains the origin of the
! phrase :
Franklin says : When I was a little
boy, I remember, one cold winter morn-
I ing, I was accosted by a smiling man,
I with an axe on his shoulder.
“My pretty boy, has your father a
grindstone ?” said ho.
“Yes, sir,” said I.
“You are a nice, pretty little fellow,”
said he. Will you let me grind an ax
on it ?”
Pleased with the compliment, I an
swered : ‘Oh, yes, sir, it is down in the
shop.”
“And will you, my man,” said he, pat
ting me on my head, “get me a little
hot water ?”
How could I refuse 1 I ran and soon
brought a kettleful.
“How old are you, and what’s your
name?” continued he, without waiting
for a reply. “lain sure you are ore
of the finest lads that ever I have seen.
Will you just turn a few minutes for
, me?”
i Tickled with the flattery, like a fool I
| went to work, and bitterly did I rue the
j pay. It was anew ax, and I tugged and
tciled till I was almost tired to death.
The schoolbell rang, and I could not get
away. My hands ware blistered, and it
1 was not half ground. At length, howev
er, the ax was sharpened, and the man
turned to me with :
“Now, you little rascal, you’ve played
the truant; scud to school, or you’ll get
it!”
Alas! thought I, it was hard enough
to turn a grindstone this cold day, but
to be called a little rascal, was too much.
It sunk deep in my mind, and often have
I thought of it since.
When I see a merchant over polite to
Iris customers, begging them to take a
little brandy, and throwing his goods on
the counter, thinks I, that man has an
ax to grind.
When I see a man flattering the pco-
I pie, making great professio is of attaeh
| mant to liberty, who is in private life
! a tyrant, metliinks, look out, good peo
, pie, that fellow would sot yon turning
grindstones.
j When I see a man hoisted into office
by party spirit, without a single qualifi
cation to render him either respectable
or useful, alas ! methinks, deluded peo
ple, you are doomed for a season to turn
the grindstone.
♦ <¥s?*•*•
TOUGH ON THE FISH.
A devout clergyman sought every op
portunity to impress upon the mind of
bis son the fact that God takes care of
His creatures; that the falling sparrow
attracts His attention, and that His lov
ing kindness is over ail His works,
j Happening one day, to see a crane
; wading in quest of food, the good man
pointed out to his son prefect adapta
tion of the crane to get his living in
I that manner. “See,” said he, “how his
! legs are formed for wading! what a
long Gender bill he has ! Observe how
nicely he folds his feet when pulling
them out of tho water! Ho does not
| cause the slightest ripple! He is thus
| enabled to approach the fish without
j giving them any notice of his arrival,
iMy son,” said lie, “it is impossible
! to look at that bird without recogniz
ing the goodness of God in thus pro
viding tho means of subsistence.” “Yes,”
replied the boy, “I think I see the good
ness of God, so far as the crane is con
cerned; but after all, father, don’t you
think the arrangement a little tongh on
the fish ?”
A MODEL SENSATIONAL REPORT.
A Chicago newspaper says : “We took
anew reporter on t ial yesterday. He
went out to bunt items, and after being
away all day, returned with the follow
ing, which lie said w*s the best he could
do: ‘Yesterday we saw a sight that
froze our muscles with horror. Aha li
man, driving down Clark street at a rap
id pace, came very near running over a
nurse and two children. There would
I have been one of the most heart rending
catastrophes ever recorded, had not the
nurse with wonderful forethought, left
tho children at home before she went
out, and providentially stepped into a
drug store just before the hack passed.
Then, too, the hac-kman, just before
reaching the crossing, thought of some
thing that be had forgotten, and turn
ing about drove in the opposite direc
tion. Ilad it not teen for this wonder
ful concurrence of favoring circumstan
ces, a doting father, a loving mother,
and affectionate brothers and sisters,
would have been plunged into the deep
est woe and most unutterable funeral
expenses.’ The new reporter will bo re
tained.”
The New York World takes it out on
New Hampshire by calling it. a “sterile
place where corn is planted with a crow
bar and the sheep are held up by tho
hind legs to obtain infrequent pasturage
on the prevalent holders.”
And now, in the whirligig of time, Dr.
Model, who set the shattered log of
Wilkes Booth, and suffered dreadful lor
tures as a “rebel sympathizer,” has been
elected to the Maryland Senate as a
Republican.
STORIES YOU NEEDN'T BELIEVE.
“Speaking of shooting ducks,” myft
Dr. F, “puts me in mind of the great*
storm that occurred when i lived on the
island. As yon are all we 1 aware, our
island was near Casco bay; an awful
storm arose, and was so fierce that it
drove all tho ducks in tho bay into a
pond, covering about an acre, near my
house. In fact, so many ducks crowded
into that pond that I could not see a
drop of writer.”
“Sho,” says Smith, “didn't ye shoot
any of ’em ?”
“That’s what I was coining at. I
went into the house and got tny double
barreled shot gun, and discharged both
barrels right into the midst of them, but
to my astonishment they all rose into
tho air, leaving not a solitary duck on
the pond.”
“Good gracious! Yon don’t say so,”
said Smith. “Didn’t you hev any sho':.
in yer gun, or what in thunder was the
trouble ?”
“Well, I wao coining to that,” said Dr.
F. “It astonished mo at first; but a
soon as the ducks rose a few hundrei
yards in the air, and commenced to sep
urate a little, ducks began to drop, and,
whether you believe it or not, I picked
up twenty n"no barrels of ducks, and it
was a poor season for ducks, too. You
see the ducks were wedged in so solid
on the pond that when they arose they
carried the dead ones up into the air
with them, and, when they separated,
down came tho tvventv nine barrels of
dead ducks.”
“Oh,” says Smith, “I’m not surprised
at that at all, or the big lot of ducks yer
bagg: 1. for it was an awful storm, i
remember it well, doctor. I had at that
time a corn barn full of corn ; on one
of is an open window,
and on the other side was a knot hole;
and during the storm the wind blew so
fierce that it blew every year of that
corn right throught the knot-hole, and
tho whole being just the size of a cob
only, the result was that it shelled every
ear, leaving the corn in the barn, and
the next morning I found my corn barn
half full of shelled corn and not a single
cob. I had a curiosiiy to know where
the cobs had gone to. I went to the
rear of the barn and. followed the line of
those cobs over cloven miles, and at a
distance of about five miles a large,
first-grown pine tree Good in the track,
and darn mo if the wind hadn't driv
cobs into that ’ere tree from top to tho
bottom. Ob, doctor, that was an awful
storm.”
“Yes,” sighs tho doctor, “awful.”
DIDN'T KNOW HIM.
A man forty years old and as long
as a rail, says M. Quad, went into one of
the banks to get the cash for a sl3
check, drawn by a party living in Nankin
township.
“You will have to be identified," said
tbe cashier, as he looked at tho check.
“I'm the man,” was tho reply.
“But I don’t know that vou are.”
“But I do.”
“You must bring someone hero who
knows you. ’
“Don’t I know myself?” exclaimed tho
check-tenderer.
“But f must know you. You may bo
John Smith for all I know.”
“You must be a consarnod fool to
think I’m somo one else!” growled the
man in response.
“You must be identified,” observed
the cashier.
“That’s my name, I tell yo, and this
is me; and if this bank gets me riled
i 'll lick the hull crowd of you over behind
the railing!”
The cashier wouldn’t pay and tho man
couldn’t find any one who knew him,
and at noon he was waiting “for that fel
ler who sassed him to come out.”
* *
Suggested by James Parton’s Harm
agf.. —l married a widow who had a
grown-up step-daughter. My father vis
ited my house very often, fell in love with
my step-daughter, and married her. So
my father became my son-in law, and
tny step daughter my mother, becauso
she was my father’s wife. Some time
after my wife land a son; ho was my
father’s brother-in-law, and iny uncle;
for lie was the brother of my step
daughter. My father's wife, that is, my
.step- daughter, also had a son ; ho was,
of connu, my brother, and in . the mean
time my grandchild,'for ho was tho son
of.my daughter. My wife was my grand
mother, because she was my mother’s
mother. I was my wife’s husband and
grandchild at tbe same tun's and as the
husband of a person’s grandmother is
his grandfather, I was my own grand
father.
A PATENT SERMON.
Ho hunted for his text, and at last
found it; but be was suspicious that
there be something out of gear so
he moved cautiously. With the alphabet
lie has a speaking acquaintance, but no
intimacy, aud there is not a word of
more than one syllable that he can not
spell in two ways at least. It reads:
“And tbe vail of tlie temple was rent in
twain” He gazed for a moment—a
look of intense astonishment ran nimbly
over his complexion, and gaspi and for a
breeze. He bent down and bored tho
passage wdh his gimlet eye after which
he stepped back a pace or two and look
ed at the print with his long-raugo optie
—the one that has a glo.be sight. A
smile leaked out of the corners of his
mouth as he completed a lengthy sern
tiny, for ho was a Columbus—he bad
made an original discovery. He chewed
up his text in this manner: “And the
vail of the temple was wrapped in twine!”
and be proved it; but be wont back on
King Solomon awfully. 110 (raced back
the line of Israel’s kings until it ended
in a ball of packthread, and lie t fled (o
get his congregation “on a string.” This
sermon was actually delivered within
fifteen mioulis ef Elijay by an ignorant
preacher—one of our mountain trout.
[EUijali Courier.
Thehew constitution of Texas prevents
the mortgage of a homo stead, even if
both the owner and bis wifi sign tho
document