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PROFESSIONAL CAROS.
~~ SHANNON & WORLEYf
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
FLBEUTOiY, GA.
V\J ILL PRACTICE IN THE COURTS OF
VV the Northern Circuit and Franklin county
Special attention given to collections.
J. S. BARNETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
BLBERTGN, GA.
JOHN T. OSBORN,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW,
ELBEttTON, GA.
VT7 ILL PRACTICE IN SUPERIOR COURTS
VV and Supreme Court. Prompt attention
to the collection of claims. nevl7,ly
8.. J. GARTUELL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ATLANTA, GA,
"PRACTICES IN TIIE UNITED STATES CIR-
I cuit and District Courts at Atlanta, and
Supreme and Superior Courts ot the State.
EiiKERTOV BUSINESS GAUDS.
T. J. BOWMAN & CO-,
real estate agents
EEBERTON A.
WILL attend to the business of effecting
sales and purchases of REAL ESTATE
as Agents, on REASONABLE TERMS.
Z&&" Applicatiors should be made to T. J.
BO\VM'.N. _ SeplP-tf
U3HT CARRIABES & BUGGIES.
■si,. v
/ ’ ■ '• 21
|
N# WmM
J. F. AULD
(Ij; A Rill A( 1E A M DFACT' R
12a, 3i arto v, ; i:o c;ia,
WITH GOOD WORKMEN!
LOWEST PRICES!
CLOSE PERSONAL ATTENTION TO
BUSINESS, and an EXPERIENCE
OF 27 YEARS,
Ha hapes by honest and fair dealing to compete
any other manufactory.
Good Baggios, warranted, - £125 to $l6O
It KPAIRING AND BLACKSMITIIINGr.
Work done in this line in t Very best style.
The Best Karnes*
TERMS CASH.
My 22-1 v
jT>l. BAR FIE LI), |
mS
% r :
m ■> y>- 0
TUB REAL LIVE |
FASHIONABLE TAILOR,
Up-Stairs, over Swift & Arnold’s Store, j
ELBERTON, GEORGIA.
fiQTCall and See Him. I
~ THE ELBERTON
DIUJG STORE
U. 0. EDMUNDS, Proprietor.
Has always on hand a full line of
Pure Drugs and Patent Medicines
Makes a specialty of
STATIONERY
PERFUMERY
Anew assortment of
WRITING PAPER & ENVELOPES
Plain and fancy, just received, including a sup
ply ot LEGAL CAP.
CIGARS AX I) TOBACCO
of all varieties, constantly on hand.
F. A. F. SOULETT,
MACTL4R MASON,
ELBERTON, GA.
Will contract for work in STONE and BRICK
anywhere in Elbert county [je 16 6m
CENTRAL HOTEL
MRS. AY. M THOMAS,
PROPRIETRESS,
AUGUSTA BA
w. H. EGBERTS,
C ARPENTER & BUILDER
ELBBR7OR; GA.
T HA'VE LOCATED IN ELBERTON WHERE
X I will be prepared to do all work in my line
as cheap as any good workman can afford. Con
tracts respectfully solkited.
Shop on the west side of and near the
jail.
Coffins Made to Order.
F. W. JACOBS;
HOUSE k SIGN PAINTER
Glazier and Grainer,
ELBERTON, GA.
Orders Solicited. Satisfaction Guaranteed.
PEASE’S
PALACE DINING ROOMS,
ATLANTA, GEORGIA.
The Champion Dining Saloon of the South
KVBBVBODY IS IXVITBD TO CALX*
THE GAZETTE.
]STew Series.
AN IRREPRESSIBLE PJSSY.
BY MAX ADLEB.
We Lave been trying to lose our cat.
We are somewhat fond of her, but she
had a way of producing kittens every few
months in various portions of the house
that was very disagreeable ; and on ev
enings when her maternal duties were
not urgent, she used to mount the back
fence and spit, and fight, and howl with
a screech like a fog whittle So she be
came a nuisance, and we determined to
lose her. I had a grudge against my
wife's aunt, and the first time she came
to visit us I gave the cat to her, and she
took it up to Philadelphia (about thirty
miles) in a basket. There was only one
cat when my aunt started, but when she
got home thei e were six. The cat had
kittened in the basket on the way up. I
believe the cat would have had kittens
on the top of the Baptist church steeple,
if she could have got thei’e. We had
peace around the house for a couple of
nights; but on the third night, we were
startled by a scream from the back yard
like the yell of a Commanche Indian
with the delirum tremens. I looked out
at the window and observed our cat en
gaged in an excited argument with an
other cat on the smoke-house roef. She
had come buck. The next day, I traded
her off for a bunch of beets to a farmer
from over the river in New Jersey, and
lie took her home. I knew then that
we bad lost her finally, and as night af j
ter night went 1 y without noise, we felt j
glad that she was lost for good. A few i
months afterward, as I was going up to j
bed, I saw a wet and draggled animal j
in the hall. Upon close inspection, 1 j
found that it was our cat. She had
swam the river and come ; and she had
just had kittens on the front stairs The
farmer subsequently made me pay him
four prices for the beets. That evening
she resumed her vocalization on the back
fence, and from the vigor she displayed,
I judge she was trying to converse with
another cat on the other side of the riv
er, two miles distant. The next day, I
tied a brick to her neck and chucked her
into the stream Two hours afterward,
she was in the yard again, damp, and
with a cold in her In gs, but still inclin
ed to be sociable with the other cats,
and still able to work off a shriek that
waked all the babies in the neighbor
hood. As she didn’t seem incline and to
.stay lost, I took her out next morning
and hitched her to the rear car of the
express train, and in a few moments she
was pioceeding up the track with fright
ful velocity, clawing and spitting, and
halloaing, as she bowled along. That
afternoon, I drowned the kittens, and
just as they breathed their last, the
breakman on the railroad called and
said somebody had fastened my cat to
his train, but lie had rescued her and
brought her back, for which service he
1 wanted two dollars- She seemed to have
an unconquered indisposition to remain
I lost. She was not much out of repair,
j One of her legs was broken, but her
| voice was sound, and while communing '
with another cat lhab evening, she emit
ted one wild shriek, which brought Coo
ley over to my house with his gun to
ascertain who it was that cried “mur
j der!’’
A few days after she had kittens again j
on the parlor sofa; and that night I !
hitched her to a couple of skyrockets I !
had bought, and touched them off. She !
whizzed for awhile around among the \
stars, and I thought I saw the corpse j
fall over toward Wilmington ; but the j
next evening, while coming home from j
churcli, I saw some cats holding a synod
in the front yard. One of them was our !
cat, singed, and a little discouraged, but !
still capable of drowning out all tha j
others cats in a chorus. She still re
mained unlost.
The following morning I carried her
out to Keyser's farm and ran her
through the threshing machine, and she
came out a mass of pulp and fur. Then
we buried her. But I don't feel per
fectly certain about her yet. I shouldn’t
be much surprised if she would come to
gether again, resurrect and come home !
to have some more kittens and a few
fresh yowls on the summit of that
fence. If she does, lam going to move
to Kansas.
DUTCH HONESTY. -
There’s a German who keeps a corner
grocery, and he had a call from a little
j boy tne other night who had been sent
to get a two dollar bill changed. The
boy received the change and returned
home with it, when it was discovered
that there was a quarter which was
rather ragged, though good in the
change, and also that the quarter was
just twenty-five cents more change than
the folks who sent the bill were entitled
to. The boy was sent back to return
it, and, of course, the ragged “fraction
al" was sent with him. Entering the
store and holding out the ragged money
the boy said:
“You changed a dollar bill for me,
here’s a quarter—”
Our German friend, seeing the ragged
money and fancying be would have to
take it back, interrupted the boy by ex
claiming ;
“Shanged moninks! I shanged no
bills mit you.”
“Yes, you did, and here is a quar
ter—”
“Mein Gott, vat a liars. Never did I
see sich a boys. I tells you, you nefer
in all your life shangedmit me any mon
inks.”
‘•Why, I was here rot over half an
hour ago, and then you gave me a quar-
ESTABLISHED 1859..
ELBERTON GEORGIA, APRIL 26, 1876.
ter—”
“Gif you some quarters—gif you some
quarters! Dunder vetter, young fellow,
I do you dink i bin gone grazy mit my
| brains? I don't gif you some quarters.
Now make yourself, seldom, ride away,
: before I put shoulders on your head,”
and he commenced to move out from be-
I hind the counter.
“Ob, you didn’t give me the quarter,
then. All right; all right, squire. I’m
just a quarter ahead,” and he started to
go out.
“Now,” said the German, putting him
self in an attitude of admiration, “dot
is what I like to see better as nothing
else. I lofe an honest boy, and shoost
been trying you, sonny. Yaw, it was
me what makes shange mit ter bill, and
I knows it all der same ; but I was dry
ing you. You peesh cheney boy, and I
gifs you a nice, pig apples for y ,ur hon
esty,” and pocketing the quarter, he led
the boy back to the rear end of the
store, and, selecting an apple about the
size of a marble, he presented it to the
boy, and patting him on the head, said,
“Now, run along home, sonny and dell
your volks vat a nice, b e-a-u-t-i-f u-1 old
shentlemen it vas who gif you dot nice
apples.”
A MAIDENLY POEM.
A maiden once said, “I’ll not mate
with a man who has not fortune great.”
So she pouted and waited, and scorned
to be mated. She’s a maiden yet—4 B.—
[New York Commercial Advertiser.
A maiden once thought, “I can not be
bought—l’ll marry a man who is poor;
but the man he drank beer, died driving
a “keer,” and twelve orphans went out
from her door. ’Tis better to wait, and
be aged 48, than to marry the agerage
man ; for there’s trouble ahead for the
maiden who’ll wed the very first person
she can.—[Courier-Journal.
A maiden once cried, “Now whatever
betide I'll marry a man who is wise ;”
but bis views asserted, she pouted and
flirted ; each sickened full soon of the
prize. Scan. mag. was the case ; “’twas
an awful disgrace,” said the judge in de
creeing divorce; and the woman’s a
fool who a general rule will adopt in
deciding her course.—[St. Louis Repub
lican.
But most of the girls (dash their friz
zles and cuils) make their minds up to
quit early in life, to take any one who
will let himself be “done ;” the point is
to be some one’s wife. And the poor
silly chaps who are caught in their traps
will find out when it is too late, that a
girl who was charming can bo an alarm
ingly ill tempered mate. Only this
much is certain, once back of a curtain,
the young fellow who marries will find
that the fellow who weds will deserve
all he gets—and get all he deserves of
its kind.—[lnter-Ocean.
A romantic young maiden, who lived
in Cheyenne, with blight fancies laden,
cried out, “Oh, w’hen shall I marry a
man and be happy as a clam ?” So one
day she got mad and said, that “by dad,
they could live without her—she was
bound to marry ;” but be treated her
roughly—yes, like the old Harry. So
she packed up her box, pull-backs and
socks, and went to the Black Hills with
a far better man.—[Cheyenne Sun.
An Eiberton maiden fair who wore
scrambled hair, once recklessly exclaim
ed, “I’ll be gray headed and maimed,
but what I’ll marry tho tin,” so she
dressed with fine taste, wore pull backs
and laced, but never a Croesus sucked
in. At last she concluded that she'd
been deluded by love for glittering
wealth, and on consideration lamented her
creation as well as the loss of her health.
The last thing she said : “Blessed, if I
ain’t an old maid, all hope gone and badly
sold, and I advise every young maiden,
if with peace she’d her life laden, never
“look for heartsease to marigold.” —[The
Gazette.
SAILORS' YAENS AND WISHES.
Notwitstanding their many hardships,
sailors cannot well refrain from “yarn
ing’ in the most extravagant manner.
“If I was a king,” said a sailor, “I
would make everybody rich ; I would
take off the taxes and make everybody
contented and happy. Then I would
marry a pretty girl, buy a horse and ;
cow, and go farming.” Jack always has
a great terror of taxes, though he never j
pays any, and a most romantic idea of a
farmer’s life, although ha may never j
have passed a day on a farm. That the j
farmer has all night to sleep, while Jack \
is liable to be called at any moment, is |
the one great cause of sailors wanting to |
be farmers. ]
“If I was a king,” said the other, “I j
wauld make my father and mother and
all my brothers and sisters rich, and ■
then get all the money I could and
leave.” He failed to say where he
would go—probably he meant to “parts
unknown.”
“’Vast there,” said the first Jack,
“how much money would you want,
anyway ? Be easy, now, don t take a
hog's bite.”
“Well,” said the other, “I would be
satisfied if that ship was loaded down
with needles, and every needle would be
worn out with making bags to hold my
money”
“Belay there !” said Jack number one.
“Don’t be a fool! Whenyou'make a wish,
wish for something in reason. Now,
I wish that I had a pile of money so
big that your pile wouldn’t be euough
to pay the interest on mine so long as
you could hold a red hot knitting-needle
in your ear!”
< A LEAP YEAR SIORY.
| There is a young gentleman in this
town who is looked upon as a sort of
woman hater, and who, it was believed
until recently, would not marry the
handsomest and best woman on earth,
if every hair in ner heed was a Kohinoor
diamond. It being leap year, some la
dies concluded to put a job on this
ycung man, and arranged it for one of
their number to propose marriage to
him, while the others were to watch
the fun through holes bored in the par
tition.
The gentleman was invited to call at
the house of the young lady who was to
do the proposing, and oa the designa
ted evening he was there seated in the
parlor, while the accessories to the plot
were stationed at their eyeholes. After
some esultory conversation about the
weather and the club party, the young
lady suddenly dropped on her knees be
fore the gentleman, and thus declared
her passion :
“Barling, I long have loved thee, but
the cruel conventionalities of society
have forced me to conceal my passions
Leap year, which gives to oppressed
woman one blessed privilege, is now
here, and I take advantage of it to tell
thee I adore thee. Look not thus cold
ly on me, dearest; spurn me not from thy
presence. See me on nay bended knees
imploring that you will not say nay.—
Grant me but one kiss from those ruby
lips ; fold me to thine arms and say that
thou wilt be mine ; mine, only mine, for
ever and for aye ”
Contrary to expectation, the gentle
man displayed not the least astonish
ment during the foregoing recital, and
when it was concluded he went over to
the stove, and folding his arms, thus re
plied :
“I’m told your dad owns a hundred
shares of North Carson, and that you’ve
got two brindle bull dogs in your own
right and without incumbrance ; likewise
I am informed that you are a good hand
at making slapjacks and biscuit; that
you don’t chaw gum, which, by the
way, is powerful expensive these hard
times. In consideration of these facts I
consent, an I leave it to you to name the
day. ’
Horrified, the lady iried to explain
that it was all a joke, but the gentleman
would not accept any such explanation,
and threatens a breach of promise suit
unless she fulfills her promise, in which
event - 'he will summon the peepers as
witnesses.—[Austin (Nev.) Reveille.
HUMOR AND SARCASM,
It is not every body r that knows where
to joke, or when, or how ; and whoever
is ignorant of these conditions had bet
tor not joke at all. A gentleman never
attempts to be humorous at the expense
of people with whom he is but slightly
acquainted. In fact, it'is neither a good
nor wise policy to joke at anybody’s ex
pense ; that is to sav, to make anybody
uncomfortable merely t.) raise a laugh.
OldiEsop, who was doubtless the subject
of many jibes on account of his humped
back tells the story in the fable of “The
boys and frog ” What was fun to the
youngsters was the death of the croak
ers. A jest may cut deeper than a curse.
Some men are so constituted that they
cannot take a friendly joke in the same
light coin, and will requite it with con
tumely insult. Never banter one of this
class, or he will brood over your badin
age long after you have forgotten it, and
it is not prudent to incur any one’s en
mity for the sake of uttering a smart
double entendre or a tart repartee Ridi
cule, at best, is a perilous weapon.
Satire, however, when leveled at social
foibles and political evils, is not only
legitimate, but commendable. It has
shamed down more abuses than were
ever abolished by force or logic.
OUR COUNTRY.—HOW IT GREW BY DE
CADES
1776—The worst penmen in America
sign the declaration of Independence,
and the United States is born, Jenner in
vents vacination and Garlic disgusted
with amateur Hamlets quits the stage
forever.
1785 —Articles of confederation, treaty
with Morocco. Columbia college, New
York founded, but no crew entered for
the regatta,
1796.—Tenn- ssee, nature’s hooppole
and tar repository, admitted to theUmon.
Washington steps down and out with
out any handsome .presents or itching
for a third term. Susan Anthony just
getting into society and smashing male
hearts generally.
1806—Fulton hopes to blow up the
world and invents steamboats. Total
eclipse this year of the sun and Aaron
Burr. First soup house in the world
established.
1816—Indiana admitted to the union.
Treaty with Algiers. Dr. Mary Walker
first meditates pantaloons.
1826—Adams and Jefferson die, Sing
Sing prison built and stocked with the
great spirits of the age. English gram
mer kicks the bucket in the person Lind
ley Murry. About this time the “little
hatchet” story was carved out of gossa
mers.
1836—Arkansas admitted. Seminole
war, railways begin to slay their thou
sands. The baggage smasher springs
into existence. Anthony no longer dotes
on slate pencils and pickles, aspires to
suspenders. Davy Crockett kills his
last b’ar.”
1846—The sacred order of “Mexican
Veterans” is fouuded. The author of
the Star Spangled Banner dies and
Vol. IV.-No. 5‘2.
leaves the country we<q ing. Under the
influence of a new' invention called the
lunches the country rec< vers.
1856—Kansas begins to bleed, and so
does Sumner's head. Braggart Brooks
pays a fine. Base ball and sewing
machine agents spring into existence.
Mrs. Southwortli writes twenty redhot
novels.
1863—Andrew Johnson vetoes every
bill except his washerwoman’s. Fenian
isra “goes up,” and the Atlantic cable
goes down. About this time Beecher
sees Elizabath quite frequent, and
Sergeant Bates having escaped from the
lunatic aslyum continues his flag peram
bula ions.
1876—Centennial. One hundred mil
lion acres all ir. Philidelphia Every
body’s going if they walk. Board $lB
a day. One biscuit and fisbball $2 50.
Striped stockings lovlier than ever. St.
Louis wins the base ball championship
Hooplah !—St. Louis Republican.
TALKING A BILL TO DEATH.
The St. Louis Republican asserts that
one of the most remarkable instances of
speaking against time is said to have
taken place in the Legislature of British
Columbia. A measure was pending, the
passage of which would rob a good many
settlers of their lands and homes. It
was sprung at the end of the session,
and was a job which a strong majority
felt that it had the power to do. There
appeared to be no doubt about that.
The confiscation could not fail if the
question came to a vote. The adjourn
ment of the Legislature was to take place
at 12 o’clock on a certain day. At
10 o’clock on the day previous Do Cos
mos got the floor. He was opposed to
the measure a id in a hopeless minority.
De Cosmos was not a long winded ora
tor, and the friends of the bill did not
fear him. They smiled, they laughed
when the spirit of the effort he was
making burst upon them. It w r as just
ridiculous, but De Cosmos went on with
his speech, beyonnd all anticipation. It
was a scattering fusilade, but it killed
time, and might fill the limitation with
its rattle. Then the land jobbers became
somewhat alarmed, and tried to applaud,
howl, and cough De Commos down.
On he went through the breeze of de
rision, and the storm of alarm, straight
for the hour of adjournment. Interrup
tions only aided him by giving him
breathing spells. The only way Avas
to let him wear himself out, or knock
him down and drag him out. The opin
ion prevailed that nature would sue
cumb, and the House settled down into
comparative quiet to watch the combat
strength of will and weakness of
body. They showed him no mercy.
They permitted no adjournment for din
ner, or supper or sleep, or breakfast the
next morning. De Cosmos talked the
day and the night away. The members
had gone out the in squads to eat and
come back to sleep. Still De Cosmos
kept his feet, and took no refreshment
except an occasional sip of water. To
wards 12 o’clock the House began to be
wide awake again. The voice of the
speaker had sunk to a huskt-y whisper,
but he spoke on, and when the hour of
adjournment arrived he was still on his
legs. His lungs had triumphed and the
obnoxious bill was defeated.
■WATERING- HORSES AFTER FEEDING.
Probably one half of our farmers prac
tice watering their teams immediately
alter eating. There is nothing about the
stable economy worse than this, except,
perhaps, allowing the animal to go al
together uncleaned from day to day. A
large portion of water drank by horses
especially when large quantities are
given, goes directly to the intestines, and
if given immediately after eating carries
a considerable portion of undigested food
with it, to bo voided whole or nearly so
Thus the contents of the stomach are
washed out of it before digestion takes
place, and the food is entirely lost.
Some years ago experiments were made
in Edinburgh, with the following re
sults : Old horses were fed with split
peas and then supplied with water im
mediately before being killed. It was
found that the water had carried the
peas from fifty to sixty feet into the
intestines, were no digestion took place
at all.
Therefore the animal should be offer
ed water before eating, and in no case
should they be given it immediately after
eating, except enough to just moisten the
food swallowed. We have for years
practiced the plan of never allowing a
horse to drink more than a bucket of
water at a time. In nine cases in ten,
tlie animal will refuse more if offered
after the laps of 6 or 10 minutes. The
rule will apply to other stock, especially
to fattening stock. They should have
sufficient fluid only to answer the pur-
pose of digestion.
A gentleman in Paris paid a visit the
other day to a lady, in whose parlor he
saw a portrait of a lovely woman of, say
five and twenty. Upon the entrance of
the lady her visitor asked her if the pic
ture was a family portrait, and was told
that it represented her deceased daugh
ter- “Has it been long since you lost
her V' asked the gentleman. “Alas, sir!”
replied the lady, “she died just after
her birth, and I had her portrait paint
edjtorepresentjher as she would have ap
peared if she had lived until now.”
A recent marriage notice ends with the
singular expression, probably added by
a waggish friend: “Miy their troubles
be littles ones.”
KISSING THE BRIDE.
The custom of kissing the bride at ft
wedding is of great antiquity, and whi’G
among the most refinad classes it has
fallen into disuse, it is still insisted on
by many people with great rigor. A
very amusing story is told of a Kentucky
backwoodsman who had; after a long
and ardent courtship of the belle of one
of the Kentucky cities, won her for a
bride. She had for a long time wavered
in her choice, undecided whether to
take him or a gentleman of wealth and
position in the city, but finally choosing
the humbler lot in obedience to her
heart. The wedding was celebrated in
great style, and the manly groom was
almost as much admired for his colossal
proportions and athletic symmetry as
was the bride for her exceedingjjlovel:*
ness. Among the guests was the unsuc
cessful suitor, who was well aware of tho
jealousy with which the groom had re
garded him, but who had overcome his
chagrin at hie failure and was sincerely
anxious to congratulate tho bride. One
by one the guests offered their good
wishes and their hearty kisses, while tho
groom looked on with approval and de
light. At length among the rest came
the rejected lover. The yotmg groom
watched him keenly, but witii out the
least animosity in his expression. Tho
unfortunate rival felt the delicacy of
his position, and not caring to provoke
the husband's ire he did not proffer the
salute which was customary. As he was
giving place to others after wishing tho
newly married pair well, tho groom
grasped his arm with his iron fingers,
and in a low tone said : “She’s my wifo
now, and I propose to see that she is
treated as well as my wife should bo
treated If you her I’ll break
every bone in your body.” Rather than
quarrel the gentleman kissed the not un
willing bride, and the groom was satis
fied.
Cheer up.- —Don’t spend your time in
groaning over dull times, nor feel dis
consolate over the future. Don’t cross
the bridge until you come to it.
Don’t growl but keep a cheerful coun
tenance, speak encouragingly to your
neighbors, and thus seek to encourage
rather than depress those with whom you
come in contact.
If you are in debt, pay as much and as
fast as you can. No reasonable man
ought to expect more than this. But to
lock up money and refuse to pay your
honest debts, is a foolish and a wicked
tiling ; and this sort of work has dene
more than anything to cause general dis
trust, and to keep it up. This distrust
of one another is the real cause of tho
present stagnation of business.
Finally let everybody do his best, pay
his debts as fast as lie can, live economi
cally, and wait for tho good time. It
will come ; money will begin to circulate
and business revive. Help to bring it
about by all you can do, and urge your
neighbors to do likewise and then watch,
wait and pray for tho “Good time com
ing-”
. ♦ - # -
Fatal Results from Chloroform.—■
At St. Johns, Wis., last week, Mrs. Al
bert Drake, a bride of two months, call
ed at a dentist’s office to have a tooth
extracted, and insisted upon taking chlo
roform, which was given her in the
smallest possible dose, but it killed her
almost instantly, and all efforts to bring
her to life were unavailing. At St. Lou
is, a few days since, Patrick Conners,
aged about thirty years, seeking surgic
al treatment in tho city hospital for a
finger which had been badly crushed,
requested to be put under the influence
of chloroform, which was given,Jbut be
fore Conners had been thoroughly an
sothetized he was noticed to bo sinking,
and despite the efforts of two skillful
physicians tho man died on the opera
ting table.
The Canadian Farmer tellsanico story
of a men named Langley, who went to
St. Mary’s bay geese hunting. Seeing a
Moose on the opposite shore, he fired,
and, at the same moment, a porpoise
leaped from the water, and the bullet
killed both it and tho moose. The por
poise floated to the shore, and tho hunt
er used it as a raft to paddle across to
the moose. There he found that tho
bullet, after killing the moose, had gone
into a hollow tree, in which was a store
of wild honey, was flowing through tho
hole made by the bullet. Reaching for
what he thought was a stick, to plug up
tho hole, he caught a rabbit by the leg.
Rather startled, he threw it viclently
from him, and struck a covey of eighteen
partridges, killing them all.
“Young man,” said the revivalist, ad
dressing the swearer, “how hot do you
suppose hell is?” The workman recog
nized his questioner, and placing his
arms akimbo, and looking him squarely
in the face, said : “Well. Mr. Finney, I
suppose it’s so hot there that if some
body brought you a spoonful of melted
iron, you would swear it was ice
cream.” Mr. Finney had nothing more
to say.
<y> ►
Gray eyed men make the best sports
men ; amber eyed men make the best
musicians; liazle eyed men make the
sharpest critics; blue eyed men make
the warmest poets; l’ed haired people
make the best billiard players ; bro .vn
haired people make the best cooks. A
hair in a restaurant hash is aways dark
brown and just eight inches long.
We notice seventy five cent shirts ad
vertised in our city exchanges. Wo
shall never insult our manhood by get
ting into as cheap a rag as that. No !
rather let us continue to deceive an un
suspecting public with a paper collar
skillfull ypinned to’the crater of a close
buttoned vest. —[Franklin (Ky.) Patriot.
There is a small community in Ander
son county composed of a mixture of
negroes and whites. The negro men
have white wives and the white men have
negro wives. They have a superstitious
kind of religion, and in politics tney are
neither democrats nor radicals but coal
iti mists.—[Medium.