Newspaper Page Text
From the New York Sunday Times.
DEAF SMITH,
THE CELEBRATED TEXAN SrY.
About two years alter the Texan revolution,
a difficulty occurred between the new govern- i
ment and n portion of the people, which threat
ened the most serious consequences—even the
bloodshed and horrors of civil uar. Briefly, j
the cause was this : The constitution had fix- j
ed the city of Austin as the permanent capital. J
where the public archives were to be kept, j
with the reservation, however, of a power in
the President to order their temporary removal
in case of danger from the inroads of a foreign
enemy, or the force of a sudden insurrection.
Conceiving that the exceptional emergency j
had arrived, as the Camanches frequently com
mitted ravages within sight of the. capital itself,
Houston, who then resided at Washington, on
the Brazos, dispatched an order commanding
his subordinate functionaries to send the state
records to the latter place, which he declared
to be, pro tempore , the seat of government.
It is impossible to describe the stormy ex
citement which the promulgation of this Jiat
raised in Austin. The keepers of hotels,
boarding-houses, groceries, and faro-banks, ;
were thunderstruck, maddened to frenzy ; for
the measure would be a death-blow to their
prosperity in business ; -and accordingly, they
determined at once to take the necessary steps !
to avert the danger, by opposing the execution
of Houston’s mandate. They called a mass- ;
meeting of the citizens and farmers of the cir
cumjacent country, who were all more or less
Interested in the question ; and after many fie- I
ty speeches against the asserted tyranny of the !
administration, it was unanimously resolved to
prevent ihe removal of the archives by open
and armed resistance. To that end they or
ganized a company of four hundred men, one
moiety of whom, relieving the other at regular
periods of duty, should keep constant guard
around the state.house until the peril passed by.
‘lhe commander of this force was one Colonel
Morton, who had achieved considerable renown
in the war for independence, and had still
more recently displayed desperate bravery in
two desperate duels, in both of which he had j
cut his antagonists nearly to pieces with the i
bowio knife. Indeed, from the notoriety of his
character for revenge, as well as courage, it
was thought that President Houston would re.
nounce his purpose touching the archives, so I
soon as be should learn who was the leader of j
the opposition.
Motion, on his part, whose, vanity fully equal- j
led his personal prowess, encouraged and justi- i
fied the prevailing opinion by his boastful j
threats. He swore that if the President did j
succeed in removing the records by the march
of an overpoweiing force, he would then him- j
self hunt him down like a wolf, and shoot him
with little ceremony, or stab him in his bed, or
waylay him in his walks of recreation. He j
even wrote the. hero of San Jacinto to that es- j
feet. The latter replied in a note of laconic !
bravery :
“If the people of Austin do not send the arch,
ives, I shall certainly cotne and take them, and if I
Colonel Morton can kill me, he is welcome to
my ear cap!”
On the reception of this answer the guard
was doubled around the slate-house. Chosen
sentinels were stationed along the road leading
•o the capital, the military paraded the streets
from morning till night, and a select caucus
held permanent session in the city hall. In
short, everything betokened a coming tempest.
One day, while matters were in this preca
rious condition, the caucus at the city-hall was
surprised by the sudden appearance of a stran
ger, whose mode of enteiiug was as extraordi
nary as his looks and dress. He did not knock
at the closed door—he did not seek admission
there at all ; but climbing unseen a small I
bushy-topped live oak. which grew beside the
wall, he leaped without sound or warning
through a lofty window. He was clothed alto
gether in buckskin, carried a long and very
heavy rifle in his hand, wore at the button of
his left suspender a large bowie knife, and had
in his leathern hell a couple of pistols half the
length of his gun. He was tall, straight as an
arrow, active as a panther in his motions, with
dark complexion, and luxuriant jetty hair, with
a severe, iron-like countenance, that seemed
never to have known a smile, and eyes of in
tense vivid black, wild and rolling, and pierc
ing as the point of a dagger. His strange ad
vent inspired a thrill of involuntary fear, and
many present unconsciously grasped the han
dles of their side-arms.
“Who are you, that thus presumes to intrude
among gentlemen without invitation?” deman
ded Colonel Morton, ferociously, essaying to
cow down the stranger with his eye.
The latter returned his stare with compound
interest, and laid his long, bony tinger on his
lip, as a sign—but of what the spectators could
not imagine.
“Who are you? Speak ! or I will cut an an
swer out of your heart!” shouted Morton, al
most distracted with rage by the cool, sneering
gaze of the other, who now removed his finger
from his lip, and laid it on the hilt of bis mon
strous knife.
The fiery colonel then drew his dagger, and
was in the act of advancing noon the stranger,
when several caught and held him back, re
monstrating :
“Let him alone, Morton, for God’s sake ! Do
you not perceive that he is crazy ?”
At the moment Judge Webb, a man of
shrewd intellect and courteous manners, step
ped forward, and addressed the intruder in a
most respectful manner :
“My good friend, I suppose you have made a
mistake in the house. This is a private meet
ing, where none hut members are admitted.”
The stranger did not appear to comprehend
the words, but he could not fail to understand
the mild and deprecatory manner. His rigid
features relaxed, and moving to a table in the
centre of the hall, where there were materials
and implements for writing, he seized a pen and
traced one line : “I am deaf!” He then held
it up before the spectators, as a sort of natural
apology for his own want of politeness.
Judge Webb took the paper, and wrote a
question : “Dear sir, will you be so obliging
as to inform us what is your business with the
present meeting V’
The other responded by delivering a letter
Suscribed on the back, “To the citizens of
Austin.” They broke the seal and read it
aloud. It was from Houston, and showed the
usual terse brevity of his style :
“Fmow Citizens :—Though in error, and
deceived l.y the arts of traitors, 1 will give you
three more days to decide whether you will
surrender the public archives. At the end of
that time you will please let me know yourde
cision. SAM. HOUSTON.”
After the reading, the deaf man waited a few
seconds, as if for a reply, and then turned and
was about to leave tire hall, when Colonel
Morton interposed, and sternly beckoned him
back to the table. The stranger obeyed, and
Morion wrote : “You were brave enough to
insult me by your threatening looks ten minutes
ago ; are you brave enough now to give me
satisfaction ?”
The stranger penned his reply: “I am at
your service. !”
Morton wrote again : “Who will be your
second ?”
The stranger rejoined : “T am too generous
to seek an advantage, and too brave to fear any
or. the part of others ; therefore I never need
the aid of a second.”
Morton penned : “Name your terms.”
‘1 he stranger traced, without a moment’s
hesitation : “Time, sunset this evening ; place,
the left bank of the Colorado, opposite Austin ;
weapons, rifles ; and distance, a hundred yards.
Do not tail to be in time !”
He then took three steps across the floor,
and disappeared through the window, as he had
entered.
“What!” exclaimed Judge Webb, “is it
possible, Colonel Morton, that you intend to
fight that man ? He is a mute, if not a posi
tive maniac. Such a meeting. 1 fear, will sad
ly tarnish the lustre of your laurels.”
“You are mistaken,” replied Morton, with a
smile ; “that mute is a hero, whose fame stands
in the record of a dozen battles, and at least
half as many bloody duels. Besides, he is the
favorite emissary and bosom friend of //ouston.
It I have the good fortune to kill him, I think it
will tempt the President to retract his vow j
against venturing any more on the field of hon- ;
or.”
“You know the man, then. Who is he ?
W ho is he?” asked twenty voices together.
“Deaf Smith,” answered Morton, coolly.
“Why, no; that cannot be. Deaf Smith
was slain at San Jacinto,” remarked Judge
Webb.
“There, again, your honor is mistaken,”
said Morton. “The story of Smith’s death
was a mere fiction, got uo by Houston to save
the life of his favorite from the sworn ven
geance of certain Texans, on whose conduct ;
he had acted as a spy. I fathomed the artifice
twelve months since.”
“If what you say be true, you arc- a madman !
yourself!” exclaimed Webb. “Deaf Smith j
never was known to miss his mark. He has i
often brought down ravens in their most rapid I
flight, and killed Camanches and Mexicans at
a distance of two hundred and fifty yards !”
“Say no more,” answered Colonel Morton,
in tones of dee.p determination ; “the thing is
already settled. I have already agreed to meet
him. There can be no disgrace in falling be
fore such a shot, and if I succeed, my triumph
will confer the greater glory !”
Such was the general habit of thought and
feeling prevalent throughout Texas ai that pe
riod.
Towards evening a vast crowd assembled at
the place appointed to witness the hostile meet
ing ; and so great was the popular reckless
ness as to afiairs of the sort, that numerous and
considerable sums were wagered on the result.
At length the red orb of the summer sun touch
ed the curved rim of the western horizon, cov
ering it all with crimson and gold, and filling
the air with a flood of burning glory ; and then
the two mortal antagonists, armed with long,
ponderous rifles, took their station back to back,
and at a preconcerted signal—the waving of a
white handkerchief—walked slowly’ and stead
ily off in opposite directions, counting their
steps until each had measured fifty. They
both completed the given number about the
same instant, and then they wheeled, each to !
aim and fire when he chose. As the distance
was great, both paused tor some seconds—
long enough for the. beholders to flash their
eyes from one to the other, and mark the stri
king contrast betwixt them. The face of Col
onel Morton was calm and smiling, but the
smile it bore had a most murderous meaning. J
On the contrary, the countenance of Deaf)
Smith was stern and passionless as ever. A I
side-view of his features might have been mis- j
taken for a profile done in cast-iron. The one,
too, was dressed in the richest cloth, the other
in smoke.tinted leather. But that made no dis.
ference in Texas then ; for the heirs of heroic
courage were all considered peers—the class
of inferiors embraced none but cowards.
Presently two rifles exploded with simulta
neous roars. Colonel Morton gave a prodi
gious bound upwards, and dropped to the earth
a corpse. Deaf Smith stood erect, and imme
diately began to re-load his rifle ; and then,
having finished his brief task, he hastened
away into the adjacent forest.
Three days afterwards General Houston, ac
cotnpanied by Deaf Smith and ten more men,
appeared in Austin, and without further oppo
sition removed the state papers.
The history ol the hero of the foregoing an
ecdote was one of the most extraordinary ever
known in the west. He made his advent in
Texas at an early period, and continued to re
side there until his death, which happened
some two years ago ; but although he had ma
ny warm personal friends, no one could ever
ascertain either the land of his birth, or a sin
gle gleam of his previous biography. When
he was questioned on the subject, he laid his
finger on his lip ; and if pressed more urgently,
his brow writhed, and his dark eye seemed to
shoot sparks of livid fire ! lie could write
with astonishing correctness and facility, con
sidering his situation ; and although denied the
exquisite pleasure and priceless advantages of
the sense of hearing, nature had given him am
ple compensation, by an eye quick and far-see
ing as an eagle's, and a smell keen and incred
ible as that of a raven. He could discover oh.
jects moving miles away in the far oft’ prairie,
when others could perceive nothing but earth
and sky, and the rangers used to declare that
he could catch the scent of a Mexican or Indi
an at as great a distance as a buzzard could
distinguish the odor of a dead carcass.
It was these qualities which fitted him so well
fora spy, in which capacity he rendered inval.
uable services to Houston’s army during the
war of independence. He always went alone,
and generally obtained the information dsired.
His habits in private life were equally singu-’
I © mnr ca iis iso § i Bsnr d®qi a. =
lar. lie could never be persuaded to sleep
under the roof of a house, or even to use a tent
cloth. Wrapped in his blanket, he loved to
lie out in the open air under the blue canopy
of pure ether, and count the stars, or gaze with
a yearning look at the melancholy moon.
Y\ hen not employed as a spy or guide, he sub
sisted by hunting, being often absent on soli
tary excursions for weeks and even months to
gether in the wilderness. He was a genuine
son of nature, a grown-up child of the woods
and prairie, which he worshipped with a sort
of Pagan adoration. Excluded by his infirmi
ties from cordial fellowship with his kind, he
made the inanimate things of the earth his
friends, and entered by the heart’s own adop.
lion into brotherhood with the luminaries of
heaven ! YY herever there was land or water,
barren mountains or tangled brakes of wild
waving cane, theie was Deaf Smith’s home,
and there he was happy; but in the streets of
great cities, in all the great thoroughfares of
men, wherever there was flattery or fawning,
base conning or craven fear, there was Deaf
Smith an alien and an exile.
Strange soul! he hath departed on the long
journey, away among those high bright stars
which were his night lamps ; and he hath eith
er solved or ceased to ponder the deep mystery
of the magic word, “life.” He is dead : there
fore let his errors rest in oblivion, and his vir
tues be remembered with hope.
The Supreme Court of the Ceiled States.
The Washington correspondent of the New
York Tribune gives the following description
of the Judges of the Supreme Court. It is, on
the whole, a pretty fair daguerreotype—save
in the painting of Judge Grier, who is no Ger
man, but what is called in Pennsylvania a
“Scots Irishman”—and one of great ability,
too :
One of the most interesting visits in the city
of YVashington is to the Supreme Court of the
United States. The Court Room is in the
Northern wing of the Capitol, on the ground
floor. It is broken by pillars and arched walls,
and is badly lighted. It is handsomely furnish
ed, with rich YVilton carpets, silken drapery,
&c. The light is admitted from the rear win
dows alone, and the Judges sit with their backs
to th” light ; the counsel who address them can
scarcely see their faces. At 11 o’clock they
enter deliberately, all dressed in black, and
with gowns. After they are seated, the crier
proclaims, “Oyoz, oyez, oyez ! the Supreme
Court of the United Slates is now in session ;
all persons having business therein are admon
ished to draw near and give their attendance.
God save the United States and these honora
ble Judges.”
I will now attempt to describe the Couit:
in the centre sits the Chief Justice, Roger B.
Taney, of Md. He is tall, sallow, thin, hard
featured, and careless in dress, ilis history is
well known. As Gen. Jackson’s Attorney-
General, he had no hesitation in advising that
the removal of the deposites from the Bank of
the United States, by the President’s order,
was valid, and when Mr. Duane refused tore
move the treasure, Mr. Taney tool; his place
as Secretary of the Treasury, and gave the
order required by the President. He stood very
high at the bar of Maryland, and is unques
tionably a man of great power of intellect.
His opinions are terse, pointed and luminous,
not encumbered with unnecessary learning,
but exceedingly logical and convincing, lie
has great tenacity of purpose and strength of
will, and I may add, stubborn prejudices. The
sincerity of his eonvict’ons no one doubts.
There is about him an unmistakable air of
intellect and authority, and he is not an unwor
thy successor of John Marshall. He is a de.
vout Roman Catholic, and rigid in his observ
ance ol religious forms and duties.
On the right hand of the Chief Justice sits
Mr. Justice McLean, of Ohio. This gentle
man was Postmaster-General under Mr. Adams,
and continued so for a very short time under
Gen. Jackson, when he was transferred to
the bench of the Supreme Court. He is a
well-dressed, dignified person, about six feet in
height, exceedingly well formed, with fine
teeth, a clear gray eye, lofty brow and forehead,
exceedingly like the statue of Washington by-
Houghton, in the Capitol at Richmond. He is
an upright and sensible man, with unquestiona
ble administrative talents, but not an accurate or
profound lawyer. It is believed by some that
he is not satisfied with his present position, but
is desirous of obtaining a higher station. He
is a member of the Methodist church, and is in
high favor with that denomination.
Justice Catron, of Tennessee, is next to
McLean. He is a stout, healthy’ man, respect
able and solid in appeftrant^Avith a face and
head more indicative oKtirbabitv and benevo
lence than of intellect. ||Mfcnieood sense and
moderate learning, of feeling
and kindness of demeanor, he is universally re
garded as a useful, unpretending, respectable
Judge.
Next to him we find Judge Daniel, of Vir
ginia. He was nominated by Mr. Van Buren,
shortly before the termination of that gentle
man’s Presidency, principally on account of his
political services and devotedness. lie is tall,
bony, angular, with high cheek bones, and
dark complexion, and looks as if lie had some
Indian blood in his veins. His learning is ac
curate, and his deductions are sound and clear.
He often dissents from the majority of the Court,
and not (infrequently in favor of State Rights.
His attachment to these renders him a valuable
member of the Court. His amiability and
honesty are universally conceded ; lawyers
say that his opinions, even when in the minor
ity. are sound and correct.
Next to him, and on the extreme right, is the
place of Senator Woodbury, of New Hamp
shire. He has long been a man of note. As
Governor and Judge of his own State, and as
Senator and Secretary of the Treasury here,
he has been distinguished for fidelity to his par
ty, and for unwearied study and labor. He is
nearly six feet in height, of round and com
pact form, well moulded features, a prominent
and bright eye, that, at a distance, appears
dark, but on nearer view, is seen to be a bluish
grey. He is strictly temperate in his habits,
drinks nothing but cold water, and a great
deal of that, and works with surpassing rapid
ity and earnestness. He has great talent for
research, and his opinions are crowded with its
results. Asa reasoner he io cogent and accu
rate, but not concise, and is apt to spend too
much labor in proving what ought to be assum
ed as settled. His decisions would be the bet-
(er for pruning and thinning, but the growth is
deep rooted and vigorous. He is a very able
Judge. Asa politician he has always been a
“Democrat.”
We will now look to the left hand of the
Chief Justice. The first is Justice Wayne,
from Georgia, formerly a member of Congress
from that State, and a very warm personal and
political friend of Secretary Forsyth. He is
an exceedingly handsome man—about 5 feet
10 inches high, of stout but graceful figure,
ruddy complexion, fine teeth, and clustering,
wavy hair, now mingled with grey ; very courte
ous in manner, and with a tone of refinement
in his elocution that is very pleasing. He has
cultivated the graces, and has aimed (it is said
not without success) to be in favor with the la
dies. He has an ingenious, copious mind—is
fluent and rapid in expression, but lacks con
ciseness, lucid arrangement and vigor. lie is,
however, by no means deficient in learning,
even of a technical character.
Next to him is Judge Nelson, a man of hand
some features, bland and gentleman-like ex
pression, very courteous in manner, and digni
fied, yet easy in deportment. He possesses
much good sense, and is an excellent lawyer.
His apprehension is not rapid, but he thinks
clearly and reasons strongly. He is probably
the best commercial lawyer on the bench.
Since his elevation to his piesent place, he has
shown an unusual degree of energy and in
dustry, and is evidently working for a reputa
tion. He is not suspected of ulterior political
views, and his integrity and independence are
not doubted.
Judge McKinley, of Alabama, is not here.
He is in New Oi leans, holding his Ciieuit
there, and principally with a view to attend
to the trial of Mrs. Gaines’ case.
Judge Grier, of Pennsylvania, has a large,
broad form, an expansive, angular brow, blue
eye, and looks like a strong-minded, sagacious
German—such, I believe, is his descent. His
voice is very curious : he reads in a low, rapid,
monotonous tone for some seconds, and then he
will catch on a word, to spin round it, as on a
pivot, and start off to renew the same course.
His opinions are unpretending and sensible,
well expressed and concise. His position as
a Judge is hardly yet defined.
On the right of the Judges, separated by a
railing, is the desk of the clerk, Mr. Carroll.
He is a model ot what a clerk should Ire— neat,
prompt, assiduous and courteous, and is in every
respect, an honorable and accomplished gen
tleman.
On the left-hand side, we find the desk of
Mr. Wallach, the Marshal of the District.
He is very attentive to visitors of the Court—
takes care of the ladies who drop in, and pro
vides them with good seats, and is ever ready
to extend kind attentions to all strangers.
The Attorney. General has a separate desk
in the Court-room, and an adjoining office.
! Mr. iteverdy Johnson was foremost at the Haiti
more bar, and ranks very high as a learned
lawyer and able reasoner. There is a great
deal of energy and independence in his look
and bearing and mode of speaking. He is of
good stature, erect and strong, but powerful
figure, strongly marked features, and with no
softness of manner or speech. ll is style of
reasoning is clear and strong, but diffuse.
Caught in tiie Act. —We saw a funny spec
tacle the other day. A dozen omnibuses, with
their live freight, were about starting on a Pic
nic, when a young woman ran hastily up and
said to a gentleman of the party, who had just
seated himself cosily by the side of a pretty
girl :
“Here, sir, I want to know what right you
have to be going on pic-nics, and your wife and
child at home ?”
“[lush, Mary,” whispered the gentleman,
hastily getting out of the omnibus, “hush, the
people will hear you.”
“Who cares it they do ! Why didn’t you think
of the people, or of me, or your child, instead of
running off to pic-nics with other women ?”
‘•\\ ell—there—now—don’t—•”
“But I will, though !” And as for you, Miss,
if you ever dare to look at my husband again,
I’ll—”
“I didn’t look at him, ma’am”—tremblingly
replied the poor girl ; “I thought lie was a sin
gle man when he asked me to go on a pie-nic
with him.”
“So, you’ve begun your didoes, have you, my
lark 1” exclaimed the wife ; “you’ve begun your
didoes, have you ? So—so—l’!! give you a les
son which you’ll remember—(taking him by the
ears) —now walk home with me !”
The poor fellow writhed and implored, but
his better half kept her hold, and walked him
oft home, the laughter and jeers of the whole
party ringing in his ears at every step.
We wouldn’t have stood in that por* fallow’s
boots that day, no, not for the privilege ot listen
ing to the best sermon ever preached.—Phila
delphia City hem.
O* An account is given in the English papers of a
shopkeeper, who invented a plan to detect the dis
honest propensities of his customers. He procured
a nevvlv-coined half sovereign,and with a particle of
gum allixed it to the inside of the top of the glass
i show-case on the counter in such a manner that it
appeared to be lying on the outward surface, and by
frequently observing the conduct ofcustomers on va
rious occasions, was enabled to determine with a
degree ol certainty whose inlentions were upright
and whose the opposite. It was no less strange than
alarming to note the number of those who attempted
by various strategy to appropriate it to theirown use.
: Now a lady would carefully lay her handkerchief up
on the case, immediately over the coveted coin, and
in removing it, cautiously, with her thumb and finger,
would nip that portion of it supposed to contain the
prize. Another would cover the spot with her muff.
; and while pretending to examine some article with
one hand, endeavor to secure the little innocent with
the other. Some would anxiously inquire for goods,
on the shelves behind, to divert attention from the ob
ject oftheir cupidity ; while others scrupulously emp
tied their purses when making payment immediate
ly oyer and around the unsuspecting coin, that in the
gathering up again it might be harvested. They all
looked terribly disappointed, but never again visited
the shop. Served him right! No man should thus
lead any one into temptation.
ET Benton uses bold fiacres. At St. Genevieve,
Missouri, denouncing certain traitorous friends who
had clung to his skirts that he might elevate them to
office, he said he would “throw them off as the impa
tient buffalo does the green flies of the prairie !”
OCrA young buck of the soaplock order, who
wore an unshaven face because (he said) it look
ed foreign, lately accosted a Yankee at one of
our hotels, as follows : “I say, fellow, some indi
viduals take me for a Frenchman, and some take
me for an Elalyene ; now what do you think I
am V ’ “I think you tue ad— and fool/’ replied
Jonathan.
The Town Quarters.
FROM THE GERMAN—BY J. K. KOF.THEN.
When young men have been for a long time
confined to the dull monotony of barrack life,
with its never ending labor of cleaning spotless
trappings and accoutrements, its daily drills,
and the mingling with men whose tastes and
habits are not congenial to their own, it is a re. ,
lief to them if, on march, they are allowed to
spend a short time at a town where a division j
of quarters abstracts them from the surveil- 1
lance of petty officers, and allows them a little
larger liberty. Thus we were happy to reach
a provincial town early on an afternoon, where I
we were to remain until next morning; and it i
| cannot be called a heinous wrong, if we went!
to excesses of merriment which otherwise
would have been avoided.
No sooner were the horses stabled at our re
spective quarters, and our persons cleaned from i
the dust of the road, than a party of choice spir- 1
its met for an afternoon’s sport. First, we j
measured the town in all its dimensions, play- ,
ing off many an innocent joke on unsuspecting j
peasants on the way, and in the evening we ;
adjourned to my room, where the time was
spent in merry making. About nine o’clock
we issued forth, in the merriest humor in the
world, to take an evening walk.
Unluckily, one of the party suggested to us
the acting of a joke, which we cafrneJ into ex
i ecution with considerable effect.
As the flout doors of the houses in town were
mostly open, we would enter and walk up into
1 the topmost story. Here we would begin to j
make a noise, and, when any one came to see
what was the matter, one of the party would
ask, meekly,
“1 beg your pardon, but is this the residence
of a Mr. Miller?”
The answer, of course, was always no ; and
then we would descend, dragging our sabres
after us, and clinking with our spurs on the
stairs as noisily as possible.
Emboldened by our success, we paid a visi
tation to some dozen of houses or more, and en- j
i tered now a splendid mansion in the heart of
the town. Some of us, and 1 for one, hesitated
on the threshold : but then, as Col. Von Thai- 1
berg, with his staff, had taken quarters near
i the outskirts of the town, our fears were allayed
I and we entered.
As we reached the lop landing a servant rnet ;
;us and inquired, somewhat rudely, what we ;
| wanted.
It being my turn to be spokesman for the
’ party, I put the usual query, and was answered
I briefly in the negative.
“Beg your pardon,” said 1 ; “face about, j
i boys ! forward, march !”
And away, went the party, making a noise j
|in their descent like bedlam let loose. Doors j
j opened in every direction as we passed, and la-1
dies, gentlemen, and servants, looked out to see
what was the matter.
I did not feel quite comfortable, and lagged j
; behind the rest, so that they were a full stairs’
j length ahead of me. Suddenly, as 1 wa# en
tering on the second stairs, I heard a voice be
low.:
“Zehntausend Donnerwetter ? what is that?
Why, you young scapegallows, I'll have you
shot like a parcel of dogs ! What a noise is 1
i this to make in a gentleman’s house ?”
It was the voice of our Colonel !
Here was a predicament. I knew that the
violent temper of the old man would subject us
to a severe punishment, and as I had not been
seen by hitn, the thought struck me of escap
ing if I could. There was a door by my side ;
the temptation was too great ; I opened it and
entered.
This was, apparently, jumping from the fry
ing nan into the fire, fur in the room were two
young girls just in the act of undressing for the
night. As 1 entered, they both jumped behind
a screen that stood at the other end of the room,
which hid their figures from view ; though their
pretty little heads were still visible.
The one seemed speechless with affright,
while the other appeared on the point of scream
ing for assistance, when, by an imploring ges- i
ture and some further pantomimes, in which 1
endeavored to explain my situation to them and
invoke their silence, 1 somewhat allayed their ;
fears.
1 felt embarrassed beyond description.
Young, inexperienced, and possessed of exag.
gerating fears, I knew not what to do. Two
lovely gills, on whose privacy 1 had inadver
tently broken in an indelicate manner, on the
one hand, and a hot-headed superior officer
down stairs on the other. Was ever mortal i
so perplexed !
While I was standing at the door, undecided
how to act, (and the young girls, no doubt,
were in the- same predicament,) I heard the
Colonel swear terrifically down stairs, his first
act having been that of sending for a sergeant
and ten men to arrest the delinquents. The
servant who answered my question up stairs,
declared that there had only been five. The
Colonel, however, knew too well what a young
soldier’s assertion was worth in a matter ol
this kind, and he ordered a search to he made
of every room in the house. This was done,
and I heard one door after another open and
shut, and, last of all, steps approaching the
door of the young ladies’ chamber. It was
not of course suspected that I would lie in
i there ; but the servant had been, as an extra
! precaution, sent to ask the ladies if they had
seen anything of a man secreting himselfabout
the house. This was a critical moment for me,
and my heart beat violently as the servant ap
proached the door.
I had now been so long in the room that my
first frustration had passed over, and, knowing
that the very fact of intruding upon the ladies’
sanctum would increase my punishment, it made
me bolder in imploring the assistance of the
ladies.
W hen the servant put them the question at
the door, they looked at each other dubiously.
“What shall we say, Bertha?” said the bold
er of the two, a lovely blondine with curly’ hair
and the sweetest countenance that had ever set
the heart of a young trooper in a flutter.
“Do as you like, Emily,” replied the other.
I looked at the blondine imploringly, and she
said:
“It is a most perplexing thing; but afier all
it was only a joke of theirs, and hardly deserves
to be so severely punished.”
The other consented to this with a nod.
I cast a look of gratitude on the lovely Erni.
ly, and she smiled slightly, even through her
perplexity. j
The sergeant having arrived with his escort, •
my unfortunate companions were brought to the
watch house; the Colonel, who had been
spending the evening here, returned to his
°wn quarters, and the house was quiet.
Meanwhile I still occupied my position at the
door, and became more embarrassed than ever.
] he front door was locked and bolted, and how
should I escape!
“What is to be done?” said Emily after a
while to her companion.
“You must dress, and lead him out the back
way,” replied the other.
“J/ow can 1 ?” whispered the other, and she
cast furtive glances at some clothing which res
posed on a chair that was standing near me. I
understood the difficulty, and said, in as delicate
a manner as possible :
“Ladies, if there is anything here ttfaf yoii
desire, allow me to hand it to you.”
They blushed, but did not reply : and, taking’
their silence for an affirmative, 1. With my face’
half averted, transported the chair to the side of
the screen, and returned to my place at the far
ther end of the room, where 1 turned my back
upon them.
A cough by my side, after a while, caused
me to turn, and the lovely Emily was standing
by my side, simply dressed, but lovely in the
extreme.
i “If you follow me,” said she, “I will lead
j you out: but for Heaven's sake make no noise,
I for every room wo pass is occupied !”
She took the light and led me down stairs.
I held my sabre, and followed noiselessly. In
i the garden we stopped.
“Go straight on,” said she, “then turn to the
right, where you will find a gate ; it. is merely
kept shut with a latch, and will admit you into
1 the back street.”
“i/ow shall I thank you !” exclaimed I,
! pressing her hand in mine, and detaining her
a moment.
“For He aven’s sake be prudent,” said she,
“and be more careful in future.”
She tore away from my grasp, and, ere I had
time to recover from a stupor in which I found
myself, had vanished from my sight. 1 stood
for some moments rooted to the spot, and then
with a deep fetched sigh, followed her direction.
Dear Emily ! she is mine now, and as we sit
in the chimney corner together, with our sleep,
i ing infant by our side, we oftou speak of our
I first meeting.
As to my companions, they were all pardoned
by the kind-hearted Colonel, through the inter
cession of Emily's uncle, the owner of the house
in which they were taken. The Colonel al-
I ways suspected me of having been one of the
party, but he did not find out the truth till after
we had both left, the service.
[iV. Y. Spirit of the Times.
O’ An Irish girl writing from Buffalo to her moth
er a! home, says : “The Yankee girls are like the
; old horses at home—high in bone, but low in flesh,
i and the color of a duck’s foot.” After this, we don’t
i think it incumbent on tlie “Buffalo girls to come out
to-uigilt,” or, as it may be more chastely expressed
in the classics, “The damsels of Buffalo are not re
quired to leave the shade of the maternal roof, nor to
amble beneath the subdued lustre of the silver moon.”
Freaks of Genius. —“ Bill, where has Joe gone
to ?”
“I don’t know, I guess he’s in the kitchen, putting
the cat in the tea-kettle. lie has just cut her ears off.”
O’ “Father, ain’t you opposed to monopoly ?”
“Yes, my boy.”
“Then give me a drink, too.”
The father broke the bottle on the floor, and since
then has not tasted liquor.
Sign of a a in. —Sir Isaac Newton was once told by
a shepherd boy that it was going to rain, though the
sky was cloudless. As the prediction proved true,
I Sir Isaac told the boy he would give him a guinea
j if he would point out how he could foretell the weath
er so truly. The shepherd pocketed the “tin,” and
; said :
j “Now, sir, whenever yon see that black ram turn
his tail toward the wind, it’s a sure sign of rain with
lin the hour.” The philosopher sloped.
i (FT “Sambo, vvhar you get dat watch you wear to
meetin’ lass Sunday?”
“How you know I hab watch ?”
j “Bekase 1 seed de chain hang out de pocket in
front.”
“Go ’wav, nigger! ’spose you see halter round my
j neck, you tink dar is boss inside ob me ?”
Daniel Tucker.— We have seldom heard of a
more beautilul simplicity than was evinced by a
; matter-01-fact witness in a riot case “down east.”
“What were the mob doing when you firsfsaw
them ?” was one ol the que.-tions asked bv the Dis
trict Attorney, “i’hey was a singin’,” replied the
witness. ‘"Singing exclaimed the public prose
j cutor ; “what were they singing about ?” “I don’t
know, I in sure, but they was singin', any how.”
“Well, what was it ? What were they singing ?
; What did they seem to be talking about 7” “V\”al,
as far as I recollect,” replied the witness, “they was
a talking about a man of the name of Mr. Tucker,
who ret used to come home to his tea.” This su
preme specimen of ignorance and simplicity convuls
ed the whole court with laughter.
U” “Is that clean butter ?” asked a grocer, of a
boy who had brought a quantity to market. “I
should think it ought to he,” replied the boy, “for
inarm and Sal were more than two hours picking
the hairs and motes out of it last night.”
Unexceptionable Bail. —“ Are you a burgess?”
“No.” “Are you a householder?” “No.” “What
are you worth ?” “Nothing.” “I mean have you
got anything ?” “The old ’oman.” “Nothing else ?”
“Seven young ’uns.” “Is that all ?” “Another
corning.” “What did you come here for?” “To
bail a gentleman fora hundred pounds.” It is almost
needless to add that this “unexceptionable bail” was
without further inquiry rejected.
An Irish Timepiece.— “ Will you be after telPn*
us what’s the time, Patrick ?” asked Tim of his
friend, who was sporting an imaginary time keeper,
or rather a chain and a showy bunch of seals. “An*
sure Id do itwid all the pleasure in life,” said Pat,
“only my watch is a most two days too fast !”
I can’t wait. —A Yankee is never upset by the
astonishing. He walks upon the Alps with his handa
in his pockets, and the smoke of his cigar is seen
among the mists of Niagara. One of his class saun
tered into the office of the lightning Telegraph and
asked how long it would take to transmit a message
to Washington. “Ten minutes,” was the reply!
“I can’t wait—l must look elsewhere,” was the re
joinder.
The Dutchman and his Pig.---“ The tefil’s in the
pesle, and no goot—’tis even von contrariar animal
as my vise Deporab. Tump my vise one time, she
tump too, tump her twice lime, she tump against,
tump her three times and she walk more quiet as’
she was fasht asleep. Butte tefil ! nothing can
satisfy te pig fen I tump one way, he runs head
vay after his tail, ten when I tump him te oter way
he runs tail vay after his head, and mine God ! after
fullerin each oter tish half hour, here ve ish as nearer
te place ve came from ten veil ve set out.”
O” An Irishman, who was lately reprieved, as he
stated, the night before his execution, and who wish
ed to get rid of his wife, wrote to her as follows -’
“I was yesterday hanged, and died like e hero: do as
I did; and bear it like a man.”’ ‘
W hat is the be6t motive for riding a man
on a rail ? ‘Loco-motive , to be gyre.