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Madame Beafelt’s System of Washing
Made Easy.
Madame B. need not enter into a long disser
tation on the troubles of Washing Day. These are
already too well known. Her object is to impart
information that will obviate all these troubles, and
render Washing Day as pleasant as any of the seven,
and at the same time, save labor , wear of clothes,
tearing off buttons, skinning of hands, the cost of
wash-boards, machines, pounding barrels, Ac.
Directions. —Put your clothes in soak in soft
water, (just enough to cover them,) the night be
fore you wish to wash. If a few quarts of strong
soapsuds are added, so much the better. Should
the wristbands or binding of the shirts be very dirty
rub on such spots a little soap, before putting in
soak. THIS IS ALL THE RUBBING about the
whole washing. After the putting the clothes in
soak, take three ounces of fresh unslacked lime,
half a pound of common soda, and half a pound of
good soap, (cut the soap in small pieces,) or half a
pint of strong home-made soap, in a vessel by them
selves and pour on them one gallon of boiling soft
water ; shake them up and stir them well , and let all
stand till morning, when you must take this liquor
and strain it, being very careful not to have the least
particle of settlings poured off with the liquor. —
When you get ready to wash, have ten gallons of
boiling soft water in your kettle or boiler, into which
pour the liquor made from the soap, lime and soda,
(keep out the settlings,) and place an earthern plate
at the bottom of the boiler to keep the clothes from
burning. (Some persons also enclose their finest
linens and cottons in a bag before placing in the
boiler; Mrs, B. considers this a good plan.) First
rinse them in warm water. Then put your clothes
into the boiler and boil them half an hour. (I he
same water will answer for three lots ot clothes.) —
Then take them out, and scald them, blue them, and
rinse in clean soft water, warm or cold, and your
clothes will be as clean and white as driven snow,
and all without rubbing or machinery. By this
plan the finest linens, laces, cambrics, Ac, can be
readily and easily cleansed. W oolens are not to
be washed by this method. Madam B. can safely
assert that her plan is th .3 best and easiest mode of
washing ever discovered. By it one person can do
the washing of a family of twenty persons before
breakfast, have the clothes out and dry, and the
house kept in good order, and the gentlemen of the
family, as well as all about the house, free from
washing day annoyances. Should the clothes to be
washed require more or less than ten gallons of
water to boil them in, more or less soap, lime or
soda, can be used in proportion. When there is
any difficulty in procuring fresh lime, a liquor cau
be made from it which will keep for years, if corked
up, and always will be ready for use.
Madame B. would advise her patrons to divide
their clothes into two or lftore parcels before boiling,
as the coarsest, dirtiest and most greasy ones ought
not to be boiled with those of finer fabric containing
less dirt, as the water in which they are boiled must
of course partake more or less of its contents. The
finer, cleaner clothes can be boiled first, or the water
for boiling the clothes in, (containing the liquor of
soap, lime and soda) can be divided into as many
parts as you have parcels of clothes, and thus boil
each parcel in its proper time. When put in soak
before washing, the clothes should be separated.
To wash Calicoes or Cotton Printed Goods. —
Take a pint bowl of wheat flour and make it into a
paste with cold water, then pour this paste into two
gallons of boiling soft water and boil for ten minutes.
Then add enough cold water to make it cold
enough to admit the hand, and in this water, wash
the calicoes without soap. After this washing, rinse
the clothes in clear cold water, and if stiffness is re
quired, add to the rinsing water a little flour starch
made as above. By this system <jf washing, cali
coes seldom or ever fade. The quicker calicoes are
washed, rinsed and dried the better. They should
be dried in the shade if possible. BeeFs gall mixed
with the wash water improves the colors.
STARCHING CLEAR STARCHING, ETC.
To make Starch for Linen , Cotton , <L’c. —To one
ounce of the best starch add just enough of soft,
cold water to make it, (by rubbing and stirring,) in
to a thick paste, carefully breaking all the lumps and
particles. When rubbed perfectly smooth, add
nearly, or quite, a pint of boiling water, (with blu
ing to suit the taste,) and boil for at least half an
hour , taking care to keep it well stirred all the time
to prevent its burning. When not stirring, keep it
covered to prevent the accumulation of dust, Ac.
Also keep it covered when removed from the fire to
prevent a scum from rising on it. To give the linen
a fine, smooth, glossy appearance, and prevent the
iron from sticking, add a little spermaceti, (a piece
as large as a nutmeg,) to the st arch when boiling,
and half a teaspftonful of the finest table salt. If
you have no spermaceti, (to Ire had cheap of any
druggist,) take a piece of the purest, whitest hog’s
lard or tallow, (mutton fs the best,) about as large
as a nutmeg, or twice this quantity of the best re
fined loaf sugar, and boil with the starch. In iron
ing linen collars, shirt bosoms, Ac., their appearance
will be much improved by rubbing them, before
ironing, with a clean white towel damped in soft
water. The bosom of a shirt should be the last
part ironed, as this will prevent its being soiled.—
All starch should be strained before using.
To Clear Starch Laces Ac. —Starch for laces
should be thicker and used hotter than for linens.
After your laces have been well washed and dried,
dip them into the thick hot starch in such a way
as to have every part properly starched. Then
wring all the starch out of them and spread them
out smooth on a piece of linen, and roll them up
together and let them remain for about half an hour,
when they will be dry enough to iron. Laces
should never be clapped between the hands, as it in
jures them. Cambrics do not require so thick starch
as net or lace. Some people prefer cold or raw
starch for book muslin, as some of this kind of mus
lin has a thick clammy appearance if starched in
boiled starch. Fine laces are sometimes wound
round a glass bottle to dry, which prevents them
from shrinking.
Ironing Laces. —Ordinary laces and worked mus
lin can be ironed by the usual process of a smooth
ing or sad iron. Finer laces cannot. M. Beavelt
irons fine laces thus: —When her lace has been
starched and dried ready for ironing, she spreads it
out smooth as possible on her ironing cloth, and
passes over it back and forth as quickly as she can
a smooth round glass bottle containing hot water,
giving the bottle such pressure as may be required
to smooth the lace. Sometimes she passes the laces
over the bottle, taking care to keep it smooth.—
Either way is much better than to iron laces with
an iron. In filling the bottle with hot water care
must be taken not to pour it in too fast, as the bot
tle will break.
To Clean Kid Gloves. —Lay the gloves on a
clean towel, and rub them with a piece of w hite
flannel dipped in a strong lather of suds made of
white soap, till the dirt is removed. The less water
the better, and the faster they are rubbed the better.
Hang them up at a distance from the fire to dry,
and when dried pull out the wrinkles and stretch
them on the hand. If you have eamphene or spirit
gas, (burning fluid,) rub them with a cotton cloth
dipped in either, and dry as above. To take out
the scent of the eamphene, take the gloves w hen
dried and stretched, and roll them up in a cloth or
handkerchief on which you have dropped a few
drops of cologne water or other perfumery.
Grease Sjx>ts on Woolen Cloth, Silk, Linen or
Cotton , —may be removed by rubbing on the spot
a little moistened magnesia, and when dry brush it
off. Another method is to wash and peal oft the
skin of a potato and cut it in slices and rub the spot
with one or more slices till cleansed.
Paint may be removed by rubbing with woolen
rags dipped in turpentine, and afterwards in strong
soap sucls.
Ink Stains can be removed by salts of lemon,
Iron Moulds by the same.
To Wash and Clean Silk Dresses , Ac., Ac.—Ma
ny persons suppose that silk cannot be washed, and
under this impression have lain aside or given away
such dresses as nearly worthless. Silk can be
washed w ithout injury by Madame Beavelt’s system.
To succeed best it may be necessary to take the
dress to pieces, or partly so if very full. The silk
should be laid on a perfectly smooth board, and
rubbed one way with a piece of fine flannel well
soaped with pure soap, and wet in soft, milkwarm
water, rub in this way till the dirt is removed, then
take a sponge wetted in cold water, (whiskey or al
cohol is better,) and rub oft’ all the soap or suds left
on the silk. After thus cleaning one side, turn the
silk and clean the other side. The finest silk and
silk ribbons may thus be made as clean as new. —
Silk stockings may be washed in a w eak soap suds
and dried by rubbing them with dry flannel, or
ironed with a warm, (not hot,) iron, placing a blan
ket between the stocking and the iron. Silks should
never be wrung after washing, but hung up to dry
in the air in the shade , or hung on a horse within
door. The sun will fade the colors. A hot iron
should never be used on” silks —one just warm may
be used. Black silk is often cleaned by being rub
bed as above in beef’s gall water and cleaned off
with the sponge. Silk can be dried by stretching
out smooth with pins. The quicker silk is cleaned
and dried the better.
Black Lace Veils are cleaned by passing them
through warm gall (beef’s) water and rinsing in
cold water, and dried on a frame or by pinning out.
Cashmere Shawls and Merinoes may be cleaned
by passing them through cold water having in it a
suds made of soap and alcohol and purified ox gall,
and rinsed in alum water, and dried, on frames, or
pinned out.
Stains from Fruit, Ac., may be removed by rub
bing on spirits of ammonia. If the stains are quite
recent they yiay be removed by soap and whiting
mixed together, and then bleached. Sour butter
milk often removes such stains.. If the stains are
old, rub each side with hard soap, then put on a
thick cold w ater starch, and rub it well in, and ex
pose to the sun and air for three or four days.
To remove Mildew from Linen. —Moisten a piece
of hard soap and rub on the parts affected. Then
rub over the spots with whiting, lay it on the grass
to dry and bleach, and as it becomes dry moisten it
a few times.
To raise the Pile of Velvet when pressed down. —
Warm a smoothing iron moderately and cover it
with a wet cloth, and lay it or hold it under the velvet
on the wrong side, the steam from this will penetrate
the velvet and you can raise the pile with a eomon
broom brush and make it appear as good as new\
To clean Silks, Stuffs, Merinoes, Printed Cottons,
Chintses, dr., by the use of Potatoes without inju
ring the colors. —Grate raw potatoes washed and
peeled, to a fine pulp, add water in the proportion
of a pint to a pound of potatoes, pass the liquid
through aseiveinto a vessel where it is to remain
until the fine white starch subsides to the bottom.
Pour oft’ the clear liquor, which is to be used for
cleaning. To perform this proces spread the arti
cle to be cleaned on a table covered with a linen
cloth, dip a sponge into the potato liquor and rub
on the cloth until the dirt is removed, then wash
the cloth in clear water a few times.”
Prices for Washing Articles in Mew York.
Hard Soap, per lb. 5 to 5 1-2. Retail 7to 8 cts.
Sal Soda, per lb. - 1 1-2 to 2c. Retail 3 to 4 cts.
Lime, per lb. - - 1 cent. Retail 2 cents
Starch, per lb. - - 6to 7 1 2c. Retail, 9to 12cts.
From the Louisiana Republican.
Green Timber,
Green Timber cut in mid winter is perferable to
seasoned for fence or gate posts. In the spring of
1837, requiring four gate posts to renew two gate
ways, I advised with older heads as to the best kind
to be selected; one preferred seasoned chesnut,
another green white oak; I selected two of each de
scription. The chesnut had been cut tw o years, but
very sound and firm. The white oak cut green,
but before planting the latter, I charred or burnt the
part to be placed in the ground quite through the
bark and sap-wood. I was obliged to renew’ the
chesnut posts in the spring of 1848. The white oaks
are still standing as fine apparently as the day they
were planted.
To such of my “fellow-tillers” who take a good
“long spell” between the time of putting up a
straight fence and seeing it fall down, or those hav
ing but little timber to spare and less means to con
vert it into expensive post and rail fence, I will en
deavor to describe one that any “tiller” can con
struct, answering every purpose, where a straight
fence is desired.
Cut a piece of timber, three feet long, from any
rough, knotty, or crooked log, either the taunt or
large limbs of a tree w ill do any thing that will not
answer for plank, rails or any other purpose but the
wood pile ; it may be either round or square, a
half or quarter part of a log, according to the size of
the timber, so that the sill or piece may be about
the weight a man can easily shoulder, Lay the
sill, with its flat side on the ground; then, after
finding out its centre from end to end, bore with a
two and a half inch auger two holes through the
side, each three inches from the centre ; that is, one
hole to the right and the other to the left of the
centre: now prepare and insert tight in the holes
two straight upright pieces, the size of a small rail,
five and a half feet long, and cap them; let the top
ends of the uprights be the same distance apart as
where they were inserted in the sills. Round pieces,
from thirteen to ssxteen inches in circumference and
eighteen inches long, split in half, make the caps,
although a two inch board or block answers very
well; the holes in the caps bored w ith a two inch
augur; place the caps so far down on the upright
pieces that their ends may show eight inches above
the caps. This work finishes the post.
When the number required are completed, pro
ceed to place them in a straight line for the rails to
be passed between the upright pieces, and continue
one course of rails after another, similar to laying
the old-time worm fence, uutil the space from the
sills to the caps is closed, reserving the heaviest rails
for top logs or riders, the top ends of the uprights
thus substituting stakes, and the weight of the rails
keeping the caps in their places. Two flat stones
placed under each end of the sill, so as to keep it
from the ground, will preserve it many years longer
from decay. Sills may be used for any description
of post fence or paling where a single post is re
quired. Thus, mortice a hole four inches by five in
the sill, to suit the post. Any timber may be used,
but chesuut is greatly preferable when it can be had.
I have a fence of this description, the rails of ches
nut, which was put up ten years ago, they are all
sound, and this fence has never been in the least
displaced by the wind, although it stands on a north-1
west exposure, and some old “tillers” tell me it is *
ft x © m ft i jl emziß.
good for twenty years longer. Should such prove
to be the case, thirty years is a “long spell’’ between
“building up and pulling down’’ of fences.
Cure fora Ring Wolm. —John S. Skinner, the
editor of the Plough, the Loom and the Anvil, furn
ishes the following recipe, which he says is infallible,
for the cure of ring-worms:
Heat a shovel to a bright red —cover it with
grains of Indian corn —press them with a cold flat
iron. They will burn to a coal and exude an oil on
the surface of the flat-iron, with which rub the ring
worm, and one or two applications it w ill be kilt as’
dead as Julius Caesar.
Butter.—This is an article of domestic food, more of
which is consumed in the United States than in any coun
try on the face of the globe. Good sweet butter, how deli
cious ! It very often happens among families in our cities
that they will purchase good sweet butter at the stores, which
in a day or two becomes vitiated in taste. This is owing
either to the manner in which it is salted or packed, or the
manner in which it is kept after it is purchased. Much but
ter is spoiled from using salt containing lime and other sub
stances which hasten its decomposition. Salt can easily be
purified by pouring upon it a little warm water and allowing
it to drain; it dissolves and takes out the lime and other
extraneous substances, and leaves the salt nearly pure. The
quantity usually added to butter is one ounce to the pound.
After butter has become rancid, it can be restored and made
nearly sweet by a very simple process. This after pressing
out the water, salt it anew- and add a little sugar—say half
an ounce to the pound. This will be found to render it much
more palatable, although it may not entirely restore that deli
cate flavor peculiar to new and sweet butter, which once
lost can never be restored. Butter should be kept in a
cool, airy,dry place.— Scientific American.
■mmiiw—acoM
Ease to People who are Troubled with Asthma.—An
individual who has suffered much from Asthma, and who
has in vain sought relief from regular physicians, wishes us
to give publicity to the following remedy :
“Procure common blotting paper, and thoroughly saturate
it in a solution of nitre, (saltpetre,) and let it be carefully dried
by the fire, or exposure to the rays of the sun. On retiring
at night, ignite it, and deposit it, burning on a plate or square
of sheet zinc or iron in your bed room.”— Scientific Am.
Mineral Riches of Southern Illinois.—The Morgan
county Journal says that thelitttle county of Harden contains
iron ore enough to build the Pacific Rail Road fifty times over ;
and the adjoining counties of Gallatin and Salina could furn
ish the State with coal for a thousand years. Pope county
has mines of iron which are of a kind easily prepared for the
furnace, being the brown haematite. Harden county is also
rich in solid bodies of lead ore, which is almost pure galena.
Zinc is also found in great quantities in this same region, and
frequently in the same mine with the lead. The ore is that
called zinc blend-—being a sulphuret of zinc.
(TV Ukinonot.
“Let dimpled mirth his temples twine,
With tendrils of the laughing vine.”
Don’t be Discouraged.
Not far distant from a place called Deer Isle—
wlio knows where that is? Well, it is “Down Fast,’’
and just on the eastern confines of the far famed
place. By some, is supposed to, be thick settled,
while others entertain doubts of the fact.
But to the story, as that may give a more defi
nite clue to the place referred to. It was a fine
and remarkably pleasant Sabbath in June; a day
always devoted, by the good people of the place,
to public worship, though never of an inferior kind.
At this season of the year, nature iu those parts
never fails to clothe herself in her richest mantles of
verdure, presenting a grandeur in appearance which
ever inspires the soul with gladness. All animatod
creation partakes of the enlivening charms, and joy
ously rehearses its songs of praise. The inhabitants,
on this particular Sunday, were blessed with a
duplicate of ministers; and as a matter not to be
questioned, the good people of the place repaired
to their houses made for public worship, where they
listened with profound attention to an able sermon
delivered by one of the divines, Mr. 18 , who
graciously finished the services of the morning, and
with much solemnity dismissed the congregation
who thereupon turned their faces to the door, and
commenced, with all due decorum, marching out
of the church—all save and except one little hunched
up, half-washed old woman, and withal somewhat
noted for subtilty and inquisitiveness. She began
wending her way to and fro up the aisle, and against
the current that was setting “right out o’ the house,’’
till she met the good parson above alluded to —a
description of whom may be made in a summary
manner, by saying ho is a man of peculiar modesty
—kind, gentle, and affectionate ; lie never knew but
one path, and that was always right; and never
cherished any other than the kindest feelings to
wards his fellow men. He is emphatically a good
man. And here, while slowly tracing his steps
along the aisle with his companion, he was seized
by the arm, by this venerable daughter of Eve, with
an affectionate grasp of both hands, and looking him
earnestly in the face, she exclaimed —
‘What little arm ew lias got! ’
The astonishment of the parson commenced. As
might well be supposed, this singular personage
presented rather a ludicrous appearance at this mo
ment, a slight description of whom may not be
amiss here, as she stood peering with a dim eye
from under a dirty, brown, and antiquated bonnet,
wofully collapsed by reason of having forced its pas
sage through a crowd ; the other eye was nearly hid
by si hoary tress which had strolled carelessly
over it. Her face was deeply furrowed, and plain
ly bespoke the lapse of many score years, and her
jaws were prominent from which the last generation
of teeth had long since, departed. In this attitude,
with her first affectionate grasp still good, she seri
ously commenced interrogating the modest stranger
parson, as follows :
‘Has ew got a wife ? ’
‘Yes,’ was the prompt reply of the minister, one
cheek blushing.
‘Then ew is a married man ? ’
Mr. S , still fast, made a similar response—
both cheeks now blushing crimson.
‘Has ew got any children ? ’
‘No, madam,’ was the honest answer, the blush
still spreading from ear to ear.
‘How long has ew been married ? ’
‘About three years,’ was the grave reply, the
crimson now giving place to a variety of colors, tints,
and hues.
“ Well, dear, don’t be discouraged; I’s married
longer than that ’fore I had any, and now I’s got
fourteen ! ’ •
The parson sighed desperately, while the variety
of colors streamed and flashed across his counte
nance with the rapidity of the aurora borealis. He
mysteriously detached himself, though he never
knew how, from his adhesive old friend, and left at
his earliest convenience, llis companion, all the
while standing in the rear was nearly all split to
pieces.
A contributor to the‘Literary Gazette,’ furnishes a visible
fact’ and ‘a reflection thereon.’
A baker's boy, of ten years old,
Fancying himself a man,
A milkmaid met of the same age,
A-carrying a can.
He threw his arms about her neck,
And kiss'd her, soft as silk.
I cried, “how strong thou art,
Even on Bread and Milk !”
Why is a carriage full of ladies like a certain State ? Be
cause it has a she cargo. (Chicago.)
Children will Talk. —We heard a very amu
sing anecdote related, a few days since, of a gentle
man possessed of a somewhat prominent proboscis
being invited out to take tea with a handsome
young widow, having a small incumbrance of about
forty thousand dollars and a beautiful and interest
ing little daughter of about five years of age. The
little girl, (whom we shall take the liberty of calling
Mary,) although much beloved by all* who knew
her; had the habit of speaking loud in company and
commenting on each and every peculiarity that any
of her mamma’s guests might have; and the charm
ing widow, knowing this fact, took little Mary one
side on the afternoon in question and gave her a
lesson, somewhat in the following manner.
Mary, dear, I have invited a very particular
friend of mine to come and take tea with me this
evening, and as he has rather a long nose, I wish to
warn you against speaking of it in his presence. —
lie is the most sensitive upon that point of all sub
jects; therefore it you allude to it in his presence,
you shall most assuredly be severely reprimanded;
but, on the other hand if you will sit up in your
little chair and be a lady, you shall have that beau
tiful frosted cake I purchased of the baker this
morning.
Little Mary made the requisite promises and was
amusing herself with her abundant supply of play
things, when the long-nosed friend arrived. The
compliments of the day having been exchanged,
and the usual topics of the day fully discussed, the
widow, with one of her blandest smiles, invited
Mi- into the adjoining room to partake of the
choicest danties of the season, with which the table
was bountiifully supplied.
As they wery passing out of the room, leaving lit
tle Mary to amuse herself as best she could, the little
cherub hastily intercepted them at the door, and
archly looking up into the speaking and animated
countenance of her mother, exclaimed—
‘Mother, dear, aint it most time for me to have
my nice frosted cake for not saying anything about
this gentleman's long nose /’
The widow fainted, and the long-nosed gentle
man is still a bachelor.
“City Dandified Men.’*
BY 11. D. K.
’Twas a beautiful spot where the vine-covered cot
of the mountaineer stood in the edge of the wood.
There the forest birds’ song echoed all the day long
and the mountain stream played in the edge of the
shade; where the graceful young fawn cropped the
herbage at dawn from the wide-spreading lawn;’twas
a beautiful spot —’twas a beautiful cot; and surely
there ne’er was a maiden more rare than the maid
who dwelt there. Shall I picture this maid of the
greenwood and glade ? She was neither too tall,
nor too short, nor too small, nor so light nor so airy,
as the form of a fairy. But the pride of the glade
was the rosy-cheeked maid, with eyes quite ns blue
as the summer sky’s hue, and the tresses of brown
floating gracefully down, and nestling below on a
bosom of snow. She could warble and sing like
the songsters of spring; she could spin and could
sweep, could mow and could reap —could ride the
good steed at the top of his speed, and sported a
trifle with her father’s rifle. And this bouncing
young maid of the evergreen shade was as chaste
and refined, and had such a mind as you seldom
will find among the young maids of haughtier
grades.
A lover she had, who would have been glad to
capture her heart by his scheming and art. 6’ Han
dy, his name a dandy by fame, who, though wrink
led and parched, was whisker’d and starched, and
displayed quite a rare and citified air.
\\ ell, he knelt at her feet and began to entreat,
while his great bosom, boat with unmerciful heat;
and he told such a tale as he deemed would not fail
to make her believe that he would not deceive.—
While he thus knelt pleading, while thus interce
ding, he thought by her smiling that the words were
beguiling. But he found the conclusion a hopeless
| delusion; for that maid was unlinking his scheming
—was thinking, and she thought in a twinkling, she’d
j give him a sprinkling of the well-peppered ointment
|of black disappointment. Ere he drew to a close
i she turned up her nose as you may suppose, just as
j high as she chose; and scorning his prose, through
i his pleading she broke, and thus’twas she spoke:
“Oh! great is your fame; O'l Tandy your name —
from the city you came with your heart all aflame;
and you thought in the shade of a mountain or
glade, to capture a maid by pomp and parade. Oh !
save all your tears, your hopes and your fears, your
“ducks” and your “dears” for some other ears. All
men are agreed you’re a nice bird indeed; but your
figure’s too lean, you’re too gaunt and too green; and
this is not all, you’re excessively tall; your nose is too
big—you’ve a voice like a pig, while you wear a huge
wig, and your upper lip seems just the shade of your
dreams. Now* my answer you know —there’s the
door, you can go*!”
Still he lingered to plead his love and his need —
and he boasted and told of his titles and gold—of
her station in life, whom he chose for a wife. But he
j found’twas no part of this country g’hal’s heart, to
| bear insult and wrong from an eye or a tongue’—
I That maid could not brook such a word and such
! look, and she caught down a broom that hung in the
room, and she hit him a blow that made the blood
flow not gracefully slow. He lit on all fours, just
out of the door all covered with gore. Then he
sprang to his feet, and considered it sweet and exceed
ingly meet to boat a retreat, to cover defeat, and
he fled from the place in shame and disgrace—dis
appeared o’er the green and was never more seen —
and ever since then, city-dandified men have learn
ed though they’ve got the “/u/s,” they can never get
g’lials who have more sound sense than they have
pounds or pence.
Cure ok Vanity.— We had boon busy during the day
running aline through a dense piece of wood-land. The old
woman gazed on us for some time in silence. We all saw
she wanted to enter into conversation ; and none, with the
exception of myself, wished to gratify her. I soon com
menced a dialogue on various subjects and things, and,
as a matter of course, I put my best leg forward. Struck
with mylanguge, she exclaimed, in a tone quite flattering to
my vanity— I “La, how larned you are.” But the compliment
received a death blow. “If I was as high larned a scholar as
you,” continued she, “I'd quit ingineerin’ and go keeping a
little grocery.”—Western Paper.
We are far from being fond of those children vulgarly
called “phenomena,” of whatever nature their celebrity may
be. But wo love above all things, those sparkling and bright
naivetes , those charming little childish a-propos , so full of
truth, of grace and freshness. Thus, the other day, Mr. M.
had invited his doctor to dine. As dinner was being served,
a beautiful little blue-eyed girl exclaimed :
“Oh ! I am so glad when you come to dinner, doctor ! ”
“ You are very fond of me, then, my child ? ” inquired the
doctor.
“Oh 1 no ; but we always have pie when you come.
From the Spirit of the Times.
Honors Extraordinary.—At ameetin of cullud
pussuns held atMistur Coxes Selek Coatery, it was
resolbed, upon do moshun of Mistur Bam Jonsin,
dat —
Whereas, neberdelees, and in considerashun ob
de mentle and fizikel altitude of Master John Van
Buren, and for de support lent by him to de cause
of sufferin brack humanity, dat ho he hereafter
known to our ancesta and posterity, bose in by-gone
edges and futur ginemslmns as
“POMLEWS BILLER,”
and may his shadder nebber he nothin shorter.
And also, on de moshun ob Miss Philisee Cruk
shin, it was resolbed, dat— *
Miss Abby Kelly, for her lub ob our culler, ana
her determinashun to sow up the Southern Prints*
shall in future hensforth figger in sakrid and pur
fane cullud histery as CLEOPATRA S NEEDLE,
and dat de female poslmm ob our community shall
look up to her as dar universal mudder,
Den it was finally resolbed, on de moshun ob
Mistur Downin, dat —
We consider Frederick Douglass, our great Pier
of de Rclm, and to him we shall hitch de painter ot
de ship of Libbertv, and dat we hereby nominate
him for de “PRESIDENT OF DESK UNITED
STATE”
Aberlish papers please copv.
POMPEY BLUBBERUP, Pres.
Chloe Woolley, Secy.
Married in Greenwich, Conn, by the Rev. Eliphalet
Peck, Mr. David Peck to Miss Deborah Peck.
Three Pecks we find have begun,
To make two different Pecks but one;
But vain their labors we shall see,
For let them pass of months a score,
Three Peeks will he increased to four,
And then a bushel there will be.
“Wliat’s the matter, Bill ?”
“Mammy has fell up stairs and stuck a knot hole in her
hand,and John won’t go for a boot-jack to pull it out. —
Where’s the poteeary’s.”
Exit Bill, hollering fire!
ADVERTISING
I fas enlarged many a small business;
Has Revived many a dull business;
Has saved many a lost business; • -
lias preserved many a large business;
lias created many anew business.
ADVERTISE
Yotir new wares that you may get a fair profit;
Your old wares that you may get some profit;
Your bad wares that you may not lose them. f
The annual cigar manufacture of Havana is estimated at
six hundred millions, giving employment in its various bran
ches to fully 10,000 people, the value of whose labor is not
less than $4,000,000.
A deaf and dumb couple were married at Pittsburg lately.
The ceremony-was performed by writing. They are said to
be wealthy, and highly respectable. There is u<> danger of the
lady being a “scolding wife.”
Why is Sunday the strongest day ? Because all the other
days are week days.
Time is almost the only thing of which it is a,virtue to be
covetous.
The greatest trial of patience is looking for your - nightcap
after you have put the candle out.
To dream that your nose is red at the tip, is an intimation
that you had better leave oflfbrandy and water.
“You've robbed me of my dew,” as the passion-flower
said to the sun. “
i Keep your temper, let what will happen; for if you are
vexed, you will have two troubles.
Good nature;, like the bee, collects honey from every herb.
111-nature, like the spider, sucks poison from the sweetest
flower.
The best lip salve in creation, is a sweet kiss. The reme
dy should be used with great care, however, as it is apt to
bring on an affection of the heart.
A contemporary, announcing the marriage of an editor,
says he was always of the opinion that editors- had just as
good a right to starve some man's daughter as any one
else.
Why is a hangman's trade like a vegetable ? Because it
is the art-o’-choke.
Despotic governments are like Kid school-masters, who
care more to flog, than to teach their pupils.
The son of a father who ill-uses the mother, is pretty sure
to turn out an idler and a dunce in childhood, and a ruffian
in manhood.
Portraits in oil, of any size, are now taken by a photogra
phic process, iu a sitting of half a minute. The process is
called Photo-Prosopon.
There never was known a poor man respected because he
was poor.
Someone calls the time of squeezing the girls’ hands “the
palmy season of life.”
“Why is a twice-paid debt like an unforgotten thing ? Be
cause it is re-collect-ed.
Some descendant of Solomon has wisely remarked, that
those who go to law for damages are sure to get them.
Somebody says that gold is necessary to any one who
would make his way in the world. Some think that brass is
quite as necessary as gold.
Youth is a glorious invention. While the girls chase the j
hours, and you chase the girls, the months seem to dance a
way ‘with down upon their feet.’ What a pity our summer
is so short, isn't it ? Before you know it, lovers become flea
eons and romps grandmothers.
Men brandy drink, and never think
That girls at all can tell it;
They don’t suppose a woman's nose
Was ever made to smell it.
Sonic girls think they blush when they only turn red.—
They deceive themselves, however. What they often atiVi
bute to modesty is nothing more than the product of imperti
nence.
A short man became attached to a very tall woman, and
somebody said that he had fallen in love with her. “Do you
call that falling in love ?” said au old bachelor : “It is more j
like climbing up to it.'’
The most important characters that you will see now a days
are little short fellows, about as broad as they are long, just
beginning to pay attentiou to the girls. They absolutely for
get that there is anybody in the world but themselves.
Father Mathew was presented with seven hundred and
fifty dollars, by a number of friends of temperance, in New
Orleans, on the loth u’.t. in token of tlieir respect for the man
and his cause.
“Is that clock right over there ?” asked a man, as he stood
gazing at the one in Brackett’s window.
“Right over there ?” said a newsboy, “it ain't anywhere
else 1”
A false pass at the boy’s head with a large cane, immedi
ately followed the boy's answer. Boy sloped.
The following toast was given at the late Medical Supper
at Columbus, Ohio:
The Ladies— I The only successful Ilomoepathists. They
cure man's greatest malady—of the heart—by a “leetle” of
the same sort!
To dream of walking barefooted denotes a journey that
you will make bootless.
It won't do to plunge into a law-suit, relying wholly upon
the justice of your cause, and not equipped beforehand with
a brimming purse.
It won't do for a man to fancy a lady is in love with him
because she treats him civilly, or that she has virtually enga
ged herself to him because she lias always endured his com
pany.
“A Tennessean is a nobleman everywhere; but a ‘Tennes
see Democrat’ is the son of Jackson and a brother of Polk !”
The Albany Knickerbocker man “don’t like to see a
young lady pounding upon an old piano in the parlor while
her mother is washing down stairs, and her little brothers
and sisters are running about with dirty faces and torn
clothes.”
An infidel remarked, within the hearing of a little girl of
thirteen, that ali things came by chauec, and that the world
like a mushroom sprang up in the night. “I should like to
know, sir,” she asked, “where the seed came troin.’
We lately heard of a young man who commenced the study
of botany, and pursued it with much enthusiasm until he dis
covered that flowers liad pistils, when he abandoned it in dis
gust, as being altogether incompatible with his non-resistant
principles.
Refined taste often makes us appear insensible, and want
of refined taste often makes us enthusiastic.
There are a great many kinds cf kisses in the world. First,
there is the little pert one of affectation; then there is the pure
and holy one of friendship, and the clammy one of “good
bye;” but of all the kisses ever invented, give us the long
and languishing one of youth and love—a kiss that not only
adds wings to your heart, hut fiddle strings to your suspenders.
As Dobbs very justly observes, ifany thing will make a maa
feel like a bass viol, it is playing lips with the girl you love.
“Halloa!” ejaculated an anxious guardian to his lovely
niece, as ho entered the parlor and saw her on the sofa, in tha
arms of a swain who had just popped the question, and seal
ed it with a smack—“what's the time of day now 7” “J
should think it was about lialf past twelve,” was the cool re
ply; “you see we are almost one.”
The person who persecutes ethers for opinion's sake, must
certainly lack humility, as he does not admit that he may be
mistaken.
They say that‘self praise goes but little ways.’ Howls
that? Surely if a man has the approbation of liis own
heart, it ought to count for something.
Marrying a woman for her beauty, says some modern Sen
eca, is like eating a bird for its singing.
The policy which strikes only while the iron is hot, will iff
the end be exceeded by the perseverance which makes thv
iron hot by striking.
If the spring puts forth no blossoms, in summer there wilt
be no beauty, and in autumn no fruit. So, if youth be triflei
away without improvement, riper years will be contemptible,
and old age miserable.
Never undress yourself before bed-time. In other words t
don't will away the property you own in this world till yutf
are about taking up your residence in the next. Dutiful
children are made by hope, not by possession.
Often from our weakness our strongest principles of con
duct are born; and from the acorn which the breeze has waft
ed springs the oak which defies the storm.
No wonder “Old Harvard” is famous for knowledge !
The reason is plain as the day;
For the students all bring a little to College,
And few carry any away.
When we are done, we have our own thghts to watch ,
in our families, our tempers; and in society, our tongues.
Every time a man breaks a divine law, he adds a thorn to
the rod which he puts in pickle for his own back.
Never give a boy a shilling to hold your shadow, while you
climb a tree and look into the middle of next week—it is mon
ey thrown away.
“With knowledge sorrow increases,” as the chap said
when he found out that he had drawn a blank in the lottery.
Most mountains present their precipitous faces to the mu
; aud their slopes to the land.
That man is a fool, who wastes his time in trying to lay salt
J on the tail of to-morrow.
Experience is a torchlight in the ashes of our illusions.
There never was known a decent abolitionist who would
sleep with a negro in his bed.
The true reformer has quite as large a bump of Constrao
tiveness, as of Destructiveness, and is ever as ready to build
up as tear down.
“Progressive democracy” is compared to an engine dri
ving at the rate of thirty miles an hour, of a dark night, with
out a lantern or a cow-catcher.
A profusion of rings and jewelry upon the fingers and per*
j son of a man, denotes either a blackleg, a loafer, or one wLoko
; brains are somewhat addled.
j No man is so great, but he may both need the help and
I service, and stand in fear of the power and utikindnew of the
| meanest of mortals.
The rays of happiness, like those of fight, are colorless when
unbroken. *
Me are rejoiced to see the ladies standing up for their
rights by wearing standing up collars. The effect is pretty,
republican, and very ominous of something.
The latest way of popping the question we have heard of is,
j to ask the fair lady, if you shall have the pleasure of seeing
her at the niinEie.
Every heart hiss its necropolis, filled with the gravestone#
of the loved and unforgotten. Hie virtues of our deceased
friends live continually in our memory, their error# and r ub
have long since been forgiven, and even ceased to be reiueiu
j bored.
’Ti* better to offend some people than to oblige them; for
j the bettor a man deserves of them, the worse they'll speak of
I him.
“Tom, standout of the way of that gentleman.” “How
|do you know he is a gentleman ?” “Be cause he has got on
striped trousers. ”
If you want to get into hot water, just tell your wife she
ain’t as good looking as she used to be. If you escape a cup
| of hot tea we are mistaken.
T/)ve labor; if you do not want it for food you may for
I physic.
A year of pleasure passes like a floating breeze; but a mo
ment of misfortune seems an age of pain.
M hat is the univt rse but a liand flung in space, peiinting nl
: ways with extended finger uuto God.
Pride is the dainty oocupant of our b o;ns, and yet ever
feeds on the meanest infirmity of our kind.
Beauty eventually deserts its possessor, but virtue and tal
ents accompany him even to the grave.
Cato says, “the best way to keep good acts in memory is to
refresh them with new.”
lie who hates bis neighbor Is miserable himself, and make*
all around him feel miserable.
Opinions may be eousidereffea the shawows of knowledge.
If our knowledge be accurate, our opinions will bo just. It is
very important, then, that we do not adopt an opinion too has
tily.
Does not the echo in the sea shell tell of the worm which
j once inhabited it ? and shall not man's good deeds live after
him and sing liis praise ?
The sun is like God, sending abroad life, beauty and happi
ness; and the stars like human souls, fer all their glory cornea
from the sun.
I low is it possible to expect that mankind will take ad vice
when they will not so much as take warning ?
Speak with calmness and deliberation on all occasions, es
pecially in circumstances which tend to irritate.
It is a bad sign to 6ce a man with his hat off at midnight, ex
plaining the the theory and principles of liis party to a lamp
post.
“Dad, who is this Sam Francisco that’s getting all the
gold out there in Kaliforny ? he must be the richest fellow in.
all them diggings.”
“Why, Johnny, I rather think he's some related to the
Sam .Jaeinto who was killed iu the Texan war by Gen. Sam.
Houston.”
■ggggg, o. ii. i ■. i ■ in I- ‘ “i in i
SIRGICAL OPERATIONS.
DR. JAMES WEAVER, ( Memphis Tenn.) propose* to perform aR
rturgica (Operations of every description, and is well prepared
with all necessary instruments to perfonn every description of opera--
tion that is performed in any of the northern cities. He operates sue-,
cessfully on all affections of the eye, as well a.i all other caws, and
will insure a cure in all cases of cross-eye, (strabismus, and will guar
antee success in every case of Club or Reel-Foot, Ooxarthrus) or con
tracted tendons in any portion ofthe system causing deformity.
Testimonial. The following is given as one of many certificates of
successful o[>e ration which have been furnished Professor Weaver
by his patients*
From he Memphis Enquirer. Jan. 30th 1850#
Club or Keel Foot C'nred.
Mr. Editor —Dear Sir: Please publish the following case in your
valuable (leriodiral, that those who may be tailoring under a similar
deformity may know where to obtain relief. My feet were both reel
ed or clubbed from birth, the toes turned inwards, ths bottoms turned
backwards, and the tops forward, w hich threw me on the outside of my
feet, on which Iwalkid up to the time of the operation. There wai
a large lump on the outside of each foot, where 1 rested the weight of
my body in walking. I applied to Professor James \\ eaver, of Mem
phis. Tenn. who is distinguished for his surgical skill, and on the 28th
day from the time ofthe operation, he put straight shoes on my feet,
they being straight before me and fiat on the bottoms. I san now
walk on them very well and am improving daily and expect in a short
time to run and jump equal to any neighbor. There is no pain atteiw
ding the operation but what can be easily stood by any one, and dur
ing the whole ojieration there is scarcely any blood lost, and no sores
or infiamation, as most persons might suppose. There is hardly any
sum that would induce roe toexchange my straight feet for the crook
ed ones I had six weeks ago. I would advise all l>crso> * who are la
boring under that deformity, to call ou Dr. Weaver, who will cure
them w ith certainty’.
E, T. PETTY.
March 21st, 1850. D~‘* J
!~ JOB WORK
Executed with Neatness and Despatch*.
AT THE “GEORGIA CITIZEN” OFFICE.
