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PAGE 6B
- FORSYTH COUNTY NEWS - 3und«y, February n, 2004
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Mom struggles with questions from son she gave up
DEAR ABBY: At 19, I chose to give up my
first child for adoption. "Billy" is now
5. and 1 have a great relationship with
him and his adoptive parents. I’ve
never regretted my decision.
We have been open about his adop
tion from the beginning. Billy often
asks questions, much deeper than one
would expect from a 5 year old, and
expresses some confusion. He under
stands that he came from my tummy
but that he has his own parents. He
knows that he is part of my family as well as his
own, and when he met my mom, he chose to
call her "Grandma." What Billy doesn’t under
stand is why all his .friends came from their
mommy’s tummies and he couldn't come from
his adoptive mom's tummy. He also often
expresses a desire for a brother or sister.
I am now engaged to be married to a won
derful man. We just found out that I am preg
nant. I’d like Billy to be the ring bearer at my
wedding, but 1 don’t want to mislead anyone by
introducing him and his family as "close friends
of the family." We also don’t want to overwhelm
Billy with all this new information when he is
struggling with so much confusion already.
(Most of my extended family is not aware of
Billy’s existence.)
Also, since I’ll be pregnant at the wedding
and Billy knows he came from my tummy, a 5
year old’s deduction would be that he is finally
getting a brother or sister. How do we explain
that I loved him so much that I gave him to his
mommy and daddy but I’ll be keeping this
baby?
BIRTH MOTHER IN PHILLY
DEAR BIRTH MOTHER: 1 know you are
well-intentioned, but 1 urge you to rethink hav
ing Billy be a part of your wedding. Please con
sider the effect it would have on him to be mtro-
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Joyce Jilleon
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY
(February 22). You attain
meaningful goals this year,
but more remarkably, you are
actually happy with what you
get! In March, drop projects
that hold little reward or chal
lenge for you. Instead of put
ting out so much attention
getting energy, put time into
what feeds your soul. Love
comes in abundance, especial
ly in April. Love signs include
Virgo and Libra. Your lucky
numbers are: 4, 22, 19. 38 and
51.
ARIES (March 21-April
19) Assume nothing. Before
noon, the agenda will have
turned on its head. Love tip:
Keep things easygoing. The
more fun you have together,
the more your affection
grows. Wait to ask for a seri
ous commitment.
TAURUS (April 20-May
20) You're given the specific
answers you've been looking
for. Friends show they care.
Your well-being seems almost
to be an obsession for one
close to you. Home life gets
unruly, but there's no reason
to lose your sense of humor.
duced to your extended family for the first time
j* * W
I Jeanne Phillips
ing some distance would be healthier for all
concerned.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl in my
last year of high school. Throughout school I
have made good grades and participated in the
band as well as my sport outside of school.
My problem is this year 1 coach my sport
twice a week in addition to playing on the team,
playing in the band, and trying to keep my
grades up for university and scholarship applica
tions. On top of that, I have a full course load.
Abby, I can't do it all. When I get home at
night. I’m so tired I can barely finish my home
work or study for tests. My marks have begun to
suffer. I'm having trouble sleeping, and I cry a
lot. 1 have begged my parents to let me drop
something, but they won’t let me. 1 really want
to do everything, but I can’t.
How can 1 get my parents to understand 9
TOO TIRED TO STUDY
DEAR TOO TIRED: Since your parents don't
seem to be getting the message, find an ally to
whom they will listen. Confide in a trusted
teacher or school counselor, and ask that person
to intervene for you before your stress level gets
any higher. No one can do every thing, and per
haps your parents need to hear it from an educa
tor.
Under the stars ’ gaze
GEMINI (May 21-June 21).
Family work is noble You are
building on the dreams of
your forefathers, and future
generations will build on
your efforts. You're attracted
to a one-of-a-kind individual.
See if he or she feels the
same way.
CANCER (June 22-July
22). Make a specific list of
what you need to get done,
and then, don't let anything
stop you. If you're already in
a relationship, other prospects
make plays for your affection
because you show how won
derful a partner you can be.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22).
There's a struggle between
what you expect of yourself
and what others expect of
you. Give yourself all the
space you need to do your
best thinking. Go for a long
walk. Lucky contacts are
Gemini and Sagittarius.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22).
There are a bunch of "have
to’s" that creep up on you
early in the day. Get them
done by noon, and you have
an easygoing afternoon to
look forward to. Love luck is
all about how you use what
you’ve already got.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23).
Your health routine is the
focus and could be where you
meet your next great love.
Give your best efforts to
friends working on a special
project. Last-ditch attempts
work beautifully because you
are less connected to the out
come.
at your wedding. Also, the question
of why you would “give him away”
and keep the other child is one that
should be dealt with over time
and by his adoptive parents with
support from you if necessary.
As he grows older, he will have
more questions, and they should be
answered honestly and at an age
appropriate level.
For now. however. I think creat-
SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov.
21). A competition is featured
between you and someone
who's supposed to be your
friend. Don't sabotage this
relationship because of your
ambition The loving support
you get from this person is
valuable
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-
Dec. 21). Though you are
feeling rather disorganized
about your belief system, you
could nonetheless make
important connections (both
inside yourself and socially)
in an organized religious set
ting. A Pisces figures promi
nently.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
19). There's quite a bit of dis
traction floating around.
Socially, you'll probably be
judged by superficial things.
No matter how entrenched
you are in your own world,
cover your bases by being
orderly, stylish and on time.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.
18). Assess your many attrib
utes on paper if you can.
It's not egocentric, and in fact,
nobody has to know. Being
clear about what you have to
contribute to the world gives
you confidence. Tonight, you
make a lucky guess and win.
PISCES (Feb. 19-Mareh 20).
Not content to muddle
through, you want to win!
Complexities throw n into the
mix could knock you off bal
ance. It’s hard to think if
you’re not dressed, clean and
fed, so start with those and see
how well your mind works.