Newspaper Page Text
BY BREWSTER & CO.
• DIRECTORY-
STATE GOVERNMENT.
James M. Smith, Governor.
N. C. Barnet, Secretary of State.
J. W. Goldsmith, Comptroller General.
John Jones, Treasurer.
Joel Branham, Librarian.
John T. Brown, Principal Keeper of the
’
Gustavus J. Orr, State School Commis
sioner.
J. N. Janes, Commissioner of Agricul
t u re.
Thomas D. Little, State Geologist.
JUDICIAL.
BtUS RIDGE CIRCUIT.
Noel B. Knight, Judge.
C, D. Phillips, Solicitor General.
lime of Holding Court.
Ghbrokee —Fourth Monday in Febru
ary, and first Monday in August.
Comb—Second Monday in March and
November.
Dawson—Third Monday in April and
second Monday in September.
Fannin—Third Monday in May and Oc
tober. - . .
Forsyth—First Monday in April and
fourth Monday in August.
Gilmer-—Second Monday in May and
October.
Lumpkin—Second Monday in April and
first Monday in September.
Alllton—Fourth Monday in March and
third Monday in August.
Pjckrnh—Fourth Monday in April and
September..
Towns—Monday after fourth Monday in
Mav and Octpber.
Union—Fourth Monday in Mav and Oc
tober.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
C< f M. McClure, Ordinary. Regular court
first Monday in each month.
J. W. Hudson, Cltrk Superior Court.
M. P. - Mbriis, SherilF.
i X-G; (Jrainlmg, Deputy Shorin’.
Jahn G. Evans, Treasurer.
Wm. N. Wilson, Tax Receiver.
Joseph G. Dupree, Tax Collector.
Win. W. Hawkins, Surveyor.
Win. Ramptey, Coroner.
JUSTICE COURT—CANTON DIS.
Joseph E. Hutson, J. P.
K E. Daniel, N. P.
H. G. Daniel, L. C
TOWN GOVERNMENT.
W. A. Tcnseley, Mayor.
J. W. Hudson, Recorder.
James 11. Kilby, Jabez Galt, J. Al. ITvr
du, J. M. McAfee, Theodore Turk, Aider
men.
COUNTY BOARD OF EDUCATION.
Janies O. Do'vda, President.
James W. Hudson, Comity School Com
missioner.
Prof James U. Vincent, Examiner.
Joseph M. McAtee, .Allen Keith, Joseph
J. Maddox, John R. Moore.
Meetings quarterly, in the court-house.
QKEROKEE TE\CHERS’ ASSOCIA
TION.
Junies O. Dowda, President,
M. B. Tm’gte, Vice-President.
C. M. McClure, Secretary.
JuW. AUawsy, Treasurer.
Jolpi D AJ ta wav* Ceasor Morum.
Frol Jfamts U. Vincent, Association Cor
rotqiondent. ’
Regular meetings every second Saturday
in each month, at 10 a. in.
RELIGIOUS.
Baptist Church, ‘Ch nt oil Ga., time of
sot vice fourth Sunday in each month.
Rev. M. B. Tuggle, Pastor.
41. E. Church, time of service, preachers
Im charge.
Rev. R R. Johnson, first Sunday.
Rev. B. E. Ledbetter, second.
Rev. J. M. Hardin, tliird.
MASONIC.
Canton Lodgb, No. 77, meets first find
third Mjindhy nights in each month.
Joseph M, Mi'Afee, AA . M.
B. E.] Ledbetter, Secretary.
Sixes Lodge. No. 282, meets first and
third Saturdays, 2 p. in.
C.
O. Wi?l Hitman, Secretary.
GOtAD TEMPLARS.
Carton Lorkus, No. 119, meets every
i»*inrd »v, b p m
j/ihra Galt, W. C. T.
AY. H. Copp ige, Secretary.
GRANGE.
Canton Grange No. 225, Cauton Ga.
Jaber. Galt, Master.
Joseph M. McAfee, Secretary.
~ Livery Stable !
N.- J . GA R R 1 S O N
Has opened a Livery Stable in Canton,
end is ;wepared to furnish Horses, Buggies,
gnd Wagons to the public for reasonable
Compensation He will also do Hauling to
and tnnn Hid railroad and elsewhere for
tlu'se desiring such *.**<vice.
The starting ot a livery stable in Canton
i» only an but Mr. Garrison
hopes by attemten to busiuess and satisfac
tory charges to make his experiment a sne
yqdcilukmg. 23
JAMES O. DOWDA.
Attorney at Law,
1-- - GEORGIA.
lUILb practice in the 8 ' 'r Courts
' V <>! t'bvmkee and n«lha counties.
Will faithfully and prompt! ■ <id to the
TcolkMfioct of all etatets put tn hands.
< Irficr in the courl-house, Cauton. Ga.
fc aur 4 1 ly
@ljc Cljerohec Georgian*
A CONSTANT READER.
The overworked scribe of the Mudvillc
Gazette
Sat wondering—moneyless wight—
If his office would ever be cleared of its
debt,
With the times so deplorably tight,
When the tread of old leather was heard
on the stair
And a stranger stepped into the room.
Who asked with the “Don’t let me boU'W
yofi" air,
Which the bore is so apt to assume:
“How are ye ?” The editor rose ’with a
smile
And pleasantly yielded his chair —
Placed the visitor’s sadly unbeautiful tile
(Which exbi’ ited symptoms of wear)
On the top of the desk, along side of his
own
(A shocking old plug, by the way,)
And then asked, in a rather obsequious
tone,
“Can we do anything for you to-day ?”
“No—l jest called to see ye,” the visitor
said :
“I'm a friend to the newspaper man” —
Here he ran a red handkerchief over his
head,
And accepted the editor’s fan —
“I hev read all the pieces you’ve writ for
your sheet,
And they’re straight to the p'int, I con
fess —
That ’ar slap you gin Keyser was sartinly
neat ;
You’re a ornament, sir, to the press 1”
“I am glad you arc pleased,” said the writ
er, “indeed ;
But you praise me too highly, by far—
Just select an exchange that you are anx
ious to read,
And, while reading it, try this cigar.
By the way, I’ve a melon laid up fora treat
I’ve been keeping it nestled in ice,
It’s a beauty, sir—fit for an angel to eat -
Now, perhaps, you will relish a slice ?”
Then the stranger roiled up half a dozen
or more
Os the choicest exchanges of all —
Helped himself to the fruit, threw the rinds
on the floor,
Or flung them at the flies on the wall.
He assured his new friend that his “pieces
were wrote
Tn a manner uncommonly able”—
As he wiped his red bands over the editor’s
coat
Thai hung at the side of the table.
“By ’he way. I’ve neglected to ask you
your name.”
Said the scribe, as the s’ranger arose ;
“Thai’s a fact," he replied, “I’m Abimatech
Bsnie;
Yon hev heeril o’ that name, I suppose?
I'm a-liviu’ out here on the Fiddletown
creek,
Where I own a good house and a lot;
The Gazette gets around to me once every
week—■
I’m the constantest reader you’ve got!"
‘Abimnlech Baine,” mused the editor;
“B-a-ni-c”—
[Here his guest begged a chew of bis
“twist”]
“I’m sorry to say your mellifluous name
Doesn’t hiqqien to honor iny list 1”
“ S’ pose not,” was the answer; “no reason
it should,
For ye see I jine lots with Bill Prim —
He’s a reg’lar subscriber an’ pays ye in
wo< ><l,
An’ 1 borry your paper o’ him !’’
The Crosses Christians Bear.
Some do not (car personal danger so much
as responsibilities for others. To be a de
cided Christian is to be a niarkeil man,
whose errors arc a scandal to the weak, a
burden to H e tender, and an excuse to the
wicked. But the same burden is upon the
shoulders of everj’ living man; and it only
presses especially upon the Christian be
cause he has a second and a deeper life to
live. There is no little child whose behav
ior doesnot make ill-behaved children eith
er ashamed or shameless. There is no young
man or maiden whose very look has notan
effect upon the words and acts of some com
rade, since God has allowed the cruel frost
of utter isolation to cl<»" over so human
heart. The merchant influences the moral
ity of trade; the lonely student cannot
deepen the flood of thought without also
cleansing or defiling it. To dread respon
sibility is to dread life. It is only a statue
that sets no example to creatures who have
hands which can help or binder, and cy<«
which can flash with rngc or soften into
sympathy. You will not be a Christian be
cause yon shrink from danger or responsi
bility. Then why have you submitted for
so many years to lie alive?
To l»e a Christian is to labor. A cross
has to be borne, a race has to be run, there
are unearthly enemies with whom to
wrestle, therefore, men shrink from the din
of battle and the dust of pilgrimage. But
yet the sap and salt, the freshness and the
vigor of our daily life, would be lost if there
were no contest, no campaigns, no vietores.
AV bat names are great in history? whose
monuments are sacred ? Those which be
longed to men who scorned delights, and
lived laborious days; soldiers who slept on
the ground, and hungered and bled; writ
ers, who Unit the lofty line in solitary days
and sleepless nights, with painful thought
and deep experience; reformers, who stood
alone against the world ; martyrs, whom
they burned. These arc the men whose
lives were applauded. But even the most
ignoble and dishonorable life is full of lalxir
and wxation. To rvfiiso all toil is to groan
under the hatred of strangersand the re
proa< ties of kinsmen; to indulge every ap
i pelite L t » writhe under a hundred disca'.
CANTON, CHEROKEE COUNTY, GA, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1876.
Virtue and Intelligence—The Safeguards of Liberty.
The reveler of to-night aches and frets to
morrow. Indolence never knows the joy
of bounding pulsesand a well-braced sys
tern. No man is so heavily laden ns he who
bears no cross ; nor so miserable as the man
of pleasure.—[Exchange.
The Spider’s Web.
The question has often been asked, “How
does a spKiei- Kake it: wtb, the lines—some
of them—crossing at the center, are carried
to the surrounding objects, while others are
fastened to an outer circular line, made evi
dently before the outer circular lines of the
woof are formed ?” Also, “Where does the
spider place itself when it ejects the lines
which form the spokes of the wheel ?”
To these queries the Scientific American
replies : “The extreme outer line surround
ing the web, to which the spokes arc fasten
cd, is by no means always circular; this de
pends upon the position of the surrounding
objects to which the web is fastened. The
spider first extends lines from one point to
another by the shortest route possible, en
closing a sufficient space to build its web ;
then he extends a line across where he in
tends to have the center of his web. He
next fixes the center by fastening a line
th«-rcto on the central line, and carrying
the line at right angles or nearly so to the
first line, hitches it to the nearest object,
whether that be the outer line pf the web,
or anything to which the web is fastened.
It will be observed here that the spider
ejects all the spokes of the wheel (except
the first line across the center of the web)
from the intended center, placing the first
lines at right angles or nearly so, and divid
ing ‘.he distance each time a line is extended
from the center until a sufficient number are
put up, always stretching the lines alternate
ly in opposite directions until the spokes of
the wheel are complete. He then places his
left forefoot on the center of the wheel, and
hitches the first end of the circular line of
the woof to one of ihe spokes of the wheel,
and rnyves round the center, fastening his
thread to every spoke as be goes along,
measuring the distance from one line to the
other by stretching bis right hind foot to
secure the web to the spoke, with his left
forefoot one line toward the center and
moving spirally along from one spoke to
the other, until he gets his web sufficiently
large for his purpose.”
We are selfing cotton goods in Lancas
shirc, England, better than are made there
and at a less price. AVe arc also undersell
ing Manchester in China and on the west
coast of South America. American saws
have almost a monopoly in England, and
A’ankce axes arc confessed to he superior to
all forc : gn articles of that kind. For years
they have had a superior character abroad.
In many kinds of tools for machinists, Amer
ican mechanics have long enjoyed a certain
pre-eminence in the Old Workl. While
our manufacturers and mechanics are thus
upholding the fame and character of the
United States in foreign countries, our agri
culturists and shippers are putting wheat
into England in such quantities and at such
prices as to interfere in a very serious man
ner with the grain export trade of Russia.
In 1867 Russia sent to England forty-four
per cent, of her total grain imports, the
United States only 14 per cent. In 1873
the quantities were changed, the United
States sending forty-f >ur per cent., and Rus
sia only twenty-one per cent, of the grain
imports of Great Britain.—[Fhila. Times.
—
Cotton Manufacture in India. —Alto-
gether there are twenty-five cotton mills in
India in full operation, working 600,000
spindles and 7,000 looms. The spindles
produce about 130,000 pounds of cotton
thread a day, of which about 50,000 pounds
arc used to produce cloth. These mills are
chiefly in the Bombay Island, where a new
spinning mil], just opened by a wealthy
lliudoo, and working2s,ooo spindles, makes
a total of seventeen working mills. Up
country there are several others —one at
Surat, two at Broach, two at Ahmedebad,
one at Jugaum, one in the native State of
Bnownugger, and one at Madras. Exten
sions arc also rapidly going forward. Eight
extensions arc in course of construction at
B >mbay, chiefly tuusharc capital, and these
wi’l provide at least for'the.xyorking of 40,-
ak) more spindles and 1,315 looms-.- Man
chester must take into account, in calcula-’
lions for the future, the rapid development
of cotton manufacture in India.
There is not an ingot of silver in Heav
en's treasury, which has not been in the
furnace on earth and been purified seven
times; there is not a gem which the Di
vine Jeweler has not exposed to every sort
of test; there is not an atom of gold in the
Redeemer's crown which has not been
molten in the hottest coals, so as io r;d it
of its alloy. It is universal to even’ child
of God. If you are a servant of God, you
must be tried as gold is tried.
AVhy should the gloom deepen as we
near the sun ? Why should the unthinking
speak of the downward sloix? of life? Why
walk backward all our days, with our faces
down hill, and gloomily speak of the down
ward slope to the grave? And yet bow
true it is that most < : ua do so.
The Centennial Appropriation Bill.
DR. FELTON’S SPEECH IN OPPOSITION.
On the 21st of January, the Centennial
Appropriation Bill being befine the House
of Representatives, Hon. W. 11. Feltoi
made the following remarks. We quote
from the Congressional Record :
Air. Chairman,! have but a few minutes
to speak on this subject, and I desire til st, to |
say as a Southern man, I ?.!P opposed to i
thia bill ; but I am influenced by no vote]
this House has given upon the question of
amnesty. If this House has seen proper to
perpetuate a wrong, that is no reason why
I should vote against my convictions. Aly
opposition to this bill is not, opposition to
the centennial exhibition; for that exhibi
tion 1 wish success. I trust it will be the
means of sending to the ends of the earth
the story of Ameriem genius and the tri
umphs of American industry. Alore partic
ularly, I desire it may be the means of fra
ternizing the too-long estranged sections of
our common country. But when Europe
and all the world assemble in Philadephia, i
I want them to learn lessons which will be ■
valuable in all after life.
The gentleman from ATaine [Mr. Frye]
on yesterday stated that we bad challeng'd
the world to come and compete with ns in •
our material industries. This is right.
When they come, if they learn that we
make the best mower and reaper, that we
manufacture the be t sewing-machine, that
we turn out the best plow, that we can ex
hibit the best specimens of manufactured
! iron, that we have the richest and most inex
haustible resources in the world, mineral,
agricultural and commercial —when they
learn all this, as they will, they will learn
that which is valuable to themsJvcs and to
us.
But, sir, as they study ami profit by flies'*
lessons, I want them to learn anoth- r great
truth, namely, that Imre is the bes-t govern
ment the world ever saw. When Europe,
Japan and China, and other nations gather
next summer in the biilh place o( American
freedom, we must teach them this lesson.
! J think it is one of.the grand missions of the
centennial year to teach this grand lesson to
all European and Asiatic monarchies and
despotisms. They have been reared up to
believe that it is impossible to carry on any
valuable enterprise without the intervention
r of the government. They have been in
structed, sir, that the government must fur
nish the money for every interest in which
the nation is concerns 1, or which is of in
terest to its people. In old Romo if a
gladiatorial show was demanded as a Ro
man holiday, the government arranged the
programme and footed the bills. In Spain
if a bull-fight is required for Spanish rccrea- [
tion, the government is the principal stock
holder in the enterprise. The result of all
this is the exaltation of the government and
the political degradation of the people.
Now, when they come to Philadelphia to
attend this internal exhibition, this centen
nial report of political freedom, let them
learn that here government is dwarfed, and
the people “are nil in ailthat the intel i
gence, the wealth, the industries, and all the
material and intellectual glory of the nation
is deposited with the pcop’e.
In my judgment if you pass this bill, if
you associate the government pecuniarily
with this enterprise, making’ll the principal
stockholder, you will sacrifice the only dis- j
tinclive badge that givesit prominence and ,
significance as the centennial exhibition of
a republican government. A'ou subordinate
the people and their Individual wealth to i
all the wealth and power of the Federal i
Government. You exhibit to ail Europe ;
tendencies to the same centralism under ■
which they have been trained and by which I
they have been crushed.
I am opposed to this aopropriation be- .
cause it is in direct conflict with the previ- ’
ous action of this House. One of the first .
. acts of this Hou<e was to pass a resolution
[ declaring it unwise, in the present financial ;
condition of the country, to vote any ap-;
propriations of money or lands or bonds in
' aid of any private enterprise. Was that ?
vote mere child’s play ? Was it intended j
as a pleasant fr md upon the tax-payers ot
the country? Or was it given with a mental ;
reservation in f .vor of thi’ measure, or has
■ the financial condition of the country so far;
[improved since tl.at time as to authorize a
liberal departure from its provisions ? Wr ;
i gave that vote in goo<Y4hilh,an l ’be r< na
try r ccive I it a- i most :nng
of the Forty-so th Congress.’ Th
was a contract between the Representatives '
i the House ami "their constituents, ratified
, by universal approval. Shall we break that
, contract to-day? If violated in one part, it .
( is violated in all its parts, and you open the
i doors of this House to every scheme which
seeks partnership with the national Trcas-
< ury. i
J This is a private enterprise, managed
j and controlled by private corporators, in
the interest of individual stuekh' filers and
' in my judgment we have no constitutional *
i right to vote the public finds for such a
. purpose. lam no lawyer, but the gentle-!
; men from Pennsylvania [Mr. Cochrane] [
|and the gentleman from Virginia [Mr.
[Tucker] yt-stealab.->Bit- Iy ex’.. »u.;’. 1.
ihe a’-gument demonstrating the unconsti
tutionality of the bill.
I was amazed, sir, and interested by the
line taken by the gentleman from Maine,
[Mr. Frye]. That gentleman seemed t>
sneer at allusions made to the Constitution.
It was to him a matter of amusement that
there should be reference to that sacred in
strument of the government. IT* 5 asserted
that it was a cover under which every de
feated party was in the habit of taking
Shelter. I know, sir. that it has beet the
custom in Uris-Li'iuse to sneer at the Con
stitution as some hing otisoieic. JJjd, sir,
let inc te’il the gentleman that, while it has
lain there lifeless, bleached like the dry
bones i f Ezekiel, the people of tbi< country
have once more breathed upon these bones,
and it will not be long, sir, until .you sie
bone coming to bone, until you see sinew
and flesh and skin, and the principles of
that old Constitution shall stand up a living
arinv, to do battle once more for human
freedom. [Applause ]
This money is not intended to develop
anj’ of the resources of the country ; is not
intended f>r protection or for relief. The
financial stringency now felt th rough .-nt
the country is in p ■.ralle’ed in its history.
The pressure upon labor and all of our in
dustries is intolerable. ALmnfncturing es
tablishments are suspended; merchants are
failing; agriculture is unprofitable; and
general bankruptcy threatens the land. In
the midst of this univt rsal distress yon are
asked to vote a million and a half of the
tax payer’s money for a mere exhibition.
But we are told the character of the na
tion is involved, and that Hie glory of the
Republic is to be measured by the success '
of this international exposition. Sir, I trust j
we are too well established to be affected by
such cheap display’s of our we d h or such
pompons publications of our “stock in
trade.” The glory of this nation consists in
the freedom of the people, in its adherence
to constitutional print iplcs, and the intelli
gence, morality, and material prosperity of
its citizens.
Give Yotjr Child a Paper.—We clip
the following from an exchange and would
urge every parent to read it with care: We
know of nothing so well calculated to assist
in the education of a child as a good news
paper; suited to its wants. Parents are too
careless on this point. They cither furnish
their children with trash, “dime novels,”
etc., or else with nothing nt all, and then
wonder why Johnnie don’t love his book, or
Willie won’t stay’ at home. The idea is
this; create in your children a desire for
r ading, by furnishing them with proper
matter, and they soon acquire a habit of
reading, that wdl do as much for their
men'al training as anything else.
A child beginning to lead becomes da
lighted with a newspaper, because he reads
of names and things which are familiar, and
he will progress accordingly. A newspaper
in one year is worth a quarter’s schooling
to any child Every father must consider
that information is connected with advance
ment. The mother of a family, being one
of its heads, and having a more immediate
charge of the children, should herself lie
instructed. A mind occupied becomes for
tified against the ills of life and is braced by
emergency. Children amused by reading
or study are more considerate and easily
governed. How many thoughtless young
incu have spent their earnings in a tavern
or grog shop, who ought to have bean read
ing. How many parents who have not
spent twenty’ dollars for books for their
families, would have given thousands, to
reclaim a son or daughter, who had ignor
antly, thoughtlessly’, fallen into temptation.
Old Air. Fruits and old Mrs. Fruits, of In
diana, mav well be called “ he first Fruits
of the earth,’’the one being 113 and the oth
er 111 years old. The old gentldtnan nei
ther sinok< s nor chews, which goes to show,
as wise men have long contended, that the
true secret of health and long life lies in a
total abstinence from the use of tobacco,
and we beg the young reader who is fond
of the weed Io make a cote of the fact.
This venerable couple have lived and loved
and cut up and quarreled together as man
and wife for 8-5 years. The old lady has
been an incessant smoker for 60 years,
which shows the absurdity’ of supposing,
as some blockheads contend, that the use
of tobacco is injurious to health and short
ens life, and the young reader who is fond
of smoking or chewing we congratulate up
on the fact —[Courier-Journal.
Tiiu New Testament revision in En
gland. . w .in which quite a number of
■ eminent ... . iCS ar- engaged, has now been
g-H! 5 >:• five years, and tocoir.pl te it pro-
, bably five years more will be required.
The revisers arc ieported having entirely
' completed their work upon ‘he four gos-
■ pc’s, excepting so far as two questions are
! concerned, which s’ill causes a difference
of opinion, and are yet to be decided. The
number of disputed points is very great,
and requires a vast amount of research to
■ satisfactorily settle many of them.
The grand essentia is to human happi
, n ss are, something to do, something to
b >pf f<>r, and something to love.
VOLUME 1.-NUMBER 26’
AM. FOR FUS.
A heavy income—The entrance of an
elephant.
T«o heals are better than one, especial
ly in a barrel.
Husband and wife arc of one mind—*
when bi th wish to govern.
Oregon has a town named Pay Up, and
they arc tvlking of calling it See-y’ou-to
morrow.
A veteran, asked if he could “Bleep on
the point of a bayonet,” replied, No, but he
bn( i on a P i,n of
A lady asked a h° w old
was. He replied, “What you <fo
thing.” AVhat was his age ? XL.
A Miss Tanner, who recently married a
widower named Hyde with eleven children,
says she has given up tanning, and is now
dressing Hydes.
“Ala, will pa go to Heaven ?” “Yes, my
daughter, I reckon so; but why do you
ask such a question ?” “Because I thought
he couldn’t leave his store.”
“Now, then, children,” said a parish
schoolmistress, showing her children off on
ex minat o i day, “Mho o e> all men?”
“You, missus,” was the unexpected reply.
S <id a lady to a steamboat captain, while
wat. h ng an alligator, “Captain, is he am
phibious ?” "Amphibious, no ’he would
e. t a hog in a minute,” replied the captaix*
“Brudder Jones,” said a colored elder to
his white pastor, “couldn’t you preach once
widout rich talk about lyin’ and stealin’,
a>d gib us one di y to rexl comfortin’ reli
gion ?”
A man never knows what it. is to feel
alone in the world until he has grabbed at
a nickel in a show-case window, and dis
covered that it is fastened to the lower sur
face of the glass.
“What object do you now see?” asked
the doctor. The young man hesitated a
few moments, and then replied: “It ap
pears like a jackass, Doctor, lut I rather
think it is your shadow.”
A school teacher was explaining to the
children that usually all words ending with
“let” meant something small, as streamlet,
rivulet, ham’et, etc. Whereupon a smart
boy asked if “hamlet” meant a small ham.
Mark Twain, apropos of a new portable
mosquito net, writes that the day is coming
“when we shall sit under our nets in church
and slumber peacefully, while the discom
fited flies club together and take it ont of
the minister.”
They were sealed at a late dinner, when
the door-bell rang and the servant banded
a card to Lavender’s wife. “Why, good
gracious! it’s our minister, and I’ve been
eating onions!” she exclaimed. “Never
mind,” said Lavendei, “you needn’t kina
him to-day.”
“Why is it that everybody in Texas
thinks it necessary to carry one or two re
volvers?” “Well, stranger,” said the Tex
an, “you mought travel around here a good
long time and not want a weapon, but
when you do want a pistol in this country,
you want it bad.”
A Frenchman, learning the English lan
guage, complained of the irregularity ot the
verb “to go,” the present tense ot which
some wae had written out for him as fol
lows: “I go; thou startest; ho departs;
we make tracks; you cut stick; they ab
squatulate or skedaddle.”
A man who cheats in short measure is a
measureless rogue. If in whisky, then he
is a rogue in spirit. If in falsifying, then
he is an unaccountable rogue. If he gives
a bad title to tend, then he is a rogue in
deed. If he gives short measure in wheat,
then be is a rogue in grain.
"Pompey, I hear you arc a gteat preach
er.” "Yes; de Lord do help me powerful
sometimes.” “Well, Pompey, don’t you
think the negroes steal ?" ‘Tse mighty
’fraid day does.” "Then, Pompey, preach
a sermon against stealing.” “You see, dat
wouldn't never do, ’cause ’twould trow
such a coolness over de meetin’.
The late Hon. Sam. Galloway of Ohio
was a remarkably homely man. On one
occasion, white dining with a personal and
political friend in Cbilicothe, the seven
year-old daughter of his host, who hail
been intently studying Galloway’s face,
said, loud enough to be heard by all at the
table: "Ma, didn’t that man’s mamma
love children mighty well ?” "Why so,
my dear?” asked her mother. “Oh, Juel
’cause she raised Ann /”
If there is a man so heartless and gruff
that he doesn’t love children, bin stony ven
t icles would have been softened had he
stood on Vine street and seen and beard a
sweet little cherub of three bright summers
weep and howl and pound its little buggy
with its little footsie tootsies, and yell and
ramp and rare and swear and call names
and bite and sqneal and shriek and sob and
screech, because they wouldn’t give it that
big railroad sign of the I. C. and L. R. R.
Co., ninety feet long, to play with. And if
the sign hadn’t been fastened at the second
story of the building, we believe the young
rooster would have had it.— {Satunlay
Night.