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THE SEVII-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
ESTABLISHED IN 1854,
By CHAS. w. HANCOCK. (
VOL. 18.
, The Sumter Republican.
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Notices in local column inserted for ten
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Charles F. Crisp,
Mtomey ai Law*
AMERICUS, GA.
) declGtf
•' B. P HOLLIS
Attorney at JLaie^
AMERICUS, GA.
Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank
building. . dec2otf
eTcT simmons, ~
•ftttorney at JLaiv ,
AMERICUS GA.,
i
’ Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of
I.amar Street, in the old office of Fort &
Summons. janfitf
Dr. 9 -H?ilO*#V
.. 1) ■
X*. ueri>* • Geortria
I Treatssuccessfully all diseasesof the Den
ital organs. Fills teeth by the improved
! v method, and Inserts artificial teeth on the
Ihest material known to the profession.
WOFFICE over Davenport and Son’s
Drug Store. marllt
J. A. KY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
ANI> SOLICITOR IN EQFITI.
Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’
Clothing Store, Americus, Ga.
After a brief respite I return again to the
practice of law. As in the past it will he
[ my earnest purpose to represent my clients
I faithfully and look to their interests. The
r.commercial practice will receive close atten
ltion and remittances promptly made. The
[Equity practice, and cases involving titles of
Sand and real estate are my favorites. Will
Imraotice in the Courts of South west Georgia,
I tihe Supreme Court and the United States
I Courts. Thankful to my friends for their
I pitronage. Fees moderate. novlltf
LChange of Firm.
I \ THE FORMER FIRM OF
CROCKER & TULLIS,
ON COTTON AVENUE,
iSias been dissolved by the purchase of Mr.
IclhE. CROCKER’S interest by Mr. B. 11.
and the new firm of
TULLIS & JOSSEY,
Ityill assume the responsibilities of the for-
Ifflier firm, and will he pleased to have their
■friends call and examine their new and low
Ipriced stock of goods,
h TULLIS & JOSSEY,
I declutf Americus, Ga.
U
THE CELEBRATED
I SEXTUPLE
Luring bed.
■ To breathe, eat and sleep well is the first
requirement of physical organization.
R S. FcE IS- MAN'S
BEXTUPLE BED SPRING.
V. [Patented Aug. 22, 1882. L
■s\the first and foremost to accomplish this
Kntdi as it facilitates the first, accelerates
■he second, and perfects the last of these
■rand purposes. It is a “thing of beauty and
K foy forever.” Last with life, perfect in
■3 adaptation forcomtort, being discouneet-
Kd in the center prevents sagging. Made by
H. M- LESTER, who will nut them on, and
Ms from long experience able to guarantee
satisfaction.
■GENTS WANTED
Hell these Springs. Territory and Spring
■tfet furnished and large commissions paid.
I / S. FLEISCHMAN,
[ '/ Patentee and Manufacturer,
* jectn-gm Cotton Ave„ Americus. Ga.
JRaper, Envelopes,[Box Paper, Bl’k
looks, Pens, Inks, Pencils, etc., at
jV . T. Davenport & Son’s.
For l>yspepsia,
Chronic Dlar
y rhooa, Jaundice,
Impurity of tlio
Bloot * Fever and
lurjjßlli'LJ UB Ague, Malaria,
and all Diseases
■ ■ ££ caused by De
rangement of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys.
SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER.
Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the
pain is felt under the Shoulder-blade, mistaken for
Rheumatism; general loss of appetite; Bowels
generally costive, sometimes alternating with lax;
the head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy,
with considerable loss of memory, accompanied
with a painful sensation of leaving undone something
which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often
mistaken for consumption; the patient complains
of weariness and debility; nervous, easily startled;
feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation
of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent,
and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene
ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to
try it—in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several
of the above symptoms at tend the disease, but cases
have occurred when but few of them existed, yet
examination after death has shown the Liver* to
have been extensively deranged.
It should be used by all persons, old and
youug, whenever any of tho above
symptoms appear.
Persons Traveling: or Living: in Un
healthy Localities, by taking a dose occasion
ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid
all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It
will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in
toxicating beverage.
If You have eaten anything hard of
digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved.
Time and Doctors* Bills will bo saved
by alway s keeping the Regulator
/ in the House!
For, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly
safe purgative, alterative and tonic can
never dc out of place. The remedy is harmless
and does not interfere with' business or
pleasure.
IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE,
And has all the power and efficacy of Calomel or
Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects.
A Governor's Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my
family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a
valuable addition to the medical science.
J. Gii.l Shorter, Governor of Ala.
lion. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ga.,
says; Have derived some benefit from the use of
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a
further trial.
“The only Thing that never fails to
Relieve.”—l have used many remedies for Dys
pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never
have found anything to benefit me to the extent
Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min
nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for
such a medicine, and would advise all who are sim
ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only
thing that never fails to relieve.
P. M. Janney, Minneapolis, Minn.
Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex
perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in
my practice I have been and am satisfied to use
and prescribe it as a purgative medicine.
only the Genuine, which always
has on the Wrapper the red Z Trade-Mark
and Signature of J. 11. ZEILIN & CO.
FOR SALF. BY AT.T. DRUGGISTS
Turn
‘ EXPEETOIIiT
11 I IMUTHI IIH Mi r? im’ 3
Is composed of Herbal and Mucilaginous prod
ucts, which permeate the substance of the
Lungs, expectorates the acrid matter
that collects in the Bronchial Tubes, and forms a
soothing coating, which relieves the Ir
ritation that causes the cough. It cleanses
the lungs of all impurities, strengthens
them when enfee bled by disease, invigor
ates the circulation of the blood, and brncesthe
nervous system. -Slight colds often end In
consumption. It is dangerous to neglect
Iheni. Apply the remedy promptly. A
test of twenty years warrants tho assertior that
no remedy has ever been found that Isas
prompt in it3 effects ns TUTT’S EXPECTORANT.
A single dose raises tho phlegm, subdues
inflammation, and its use speedily cures the most
obstinate cough. A pleasant cordial, chil
dren take it readilw. For Croup it is
invaluable and should ho in every family.
ln_r>c. and Bottles.
TUTT R?LLS
ACT DIRECT iVcHMT HE LIVER.
Cures Chilis and Fever, Dyspepsia,
Sick Headache, Bilious Colic,Constipa
tion, Rheumatism, Files, Palpitation of
the Heart, Dizziness, Torpid Liver, and
Female Irregularities. If you do not “feel
very well,” a single pill stimulates the stomach,
restores the nnpetitc,imparts vigor to tlie system.
A NOTED DEVINE SAYS:
Dr. Tutt:— Dear Sirt For ten years 1 have
been a martyr to Dyspepsia, Constipation and
Files. Last spring your pills were recommended
tome; I used them (but with little faith). lam
now a well man, have good appetite, digestion
perfect, regular stools, piles gone, and I have
gained forty pounds solid flesh. They are worth
their weight in gold.
REV. It, L. SlMPSON,Louisville, Ky.
Jlfflce, 35 Murray St., IVew York.
( DR. TUTT’S MANUAL of Useful\
Receipts FREE on application* )
Pfcl . STOMACH _
Fitter 5
Uostetter’s Stomach Bittersgives steadiness
to tiro nerves, induces a healthy, natural flow
of bile, pryvents.constipation without unduly
purging tho bowels, gently stimulates tho
circulation, and by promoting a vigorous
condition of the physical system, promotes,
also, that cheerfulness which is the truest
indication of a well-balanced condition of all
the animal powers.
For sale by all Druggists and Dealers
generally.
DAVENPORT’S
Belle of Americus,
Davenport & Son
Are Sole Agents for BELLE OF AMERI
CUS. It is made of the best Havanna, long
fillers, Is not flavored or doctored and the
only 5c Cigar in the market that is as good
as an imported cigar. oct6-5m
BRICK. BRICK. BRICK
I have*TSREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY
THOUSAND good new brick, whioh I will
sell cheap, Apply at once.
decGlm B. E. COBB.
A fine lot of Christmas Goods cheap
1 for cash, at W. T. Davenport & Son’s.
independent in POLITICS, and devoted to news, literature, science and general progress,
AMERICUS, GEORGIA; WEDNESDAY J.ANUARY 17, 1883.
VOV/AYLX.
A EULABY.
Sleep, my child! the shadows fall;
Silent darkness reigns o’er all;
Bird and bloom are lost to sight
In the folded arms of night;
Stars will soon from cloud-towers peep,
While all nature lies asleep.
Breathe thou softly! Best is sweet
For tired hearts and aching feet;
No dull care nor toil is thine—
Nor sin, thou blessed child of mine;
Tranquil on thy soft couch rest,
With dreams of heaven in thy breast.
Buds are sleeping; close thine eyes;
Waken with a sot t surprise;
Greet the morning with thy smile,
And sweet prattle without guile,
Scents lie sleeping in the flowers;
Slumber till the daylight hours.
Sleep! Thy Father guards thy rest;
Lay thy head upon His breast;
Safer than these arms which hold thee;
His dear love will firm enfold thee;
Higher love than mine shall He
Give, beloved one to thee.
Sleep! tho waves have long been sleeping;
Angels o’er thee watch are keeping;
O’er us both the pale stars shine
With a radiance half divine.
Slumber, innocent and light,
Fall from heaven on thee to-night,
—Chambers Journal.
AW s
MARRIAGE BY CAPTURE.
ALL THE YEAR ROUND.
When an Eskimo youth has killed a
polar bear unaided, and so proven him
self capable of providing for the wants
of a family, he is sent forth at night
to obtain a wife by seizing the first girl
he can surprise unawares. She screams,
of course, bringing out the whole vil
lage population, and, an appreciative
audience secured, sets upon her captor
with tooth and nail, releases herself
from his clutches, and darts among the
crowd. He follows, pushing aside the
old women who attempts to bar his
progress, heedless of the seal-skin
scourges they lay about his shoulders.
Should he catch the flying lass, more
scratching and biting ensues, and, per
chance, a second escape. The chase is
then renewed as before, only the wife
hunte is inspirated by knowing that, a
third capture effected, there will be no
more maidenly struggles; the girl ac
cepting her fate, and allowing him to
lead her away amid the applauding
shouts of the excited spectators. The
aboriginal Austrailian adopts a more
summary process when tired of single
blessedness. He looks about fora like
ly helpmate, and finding one, waits hjs
opportunity, knocks her down, and car
ries her home.
Marriage by capture, in this simple
form, is now unknown out of savagedom
having elsewhere resolved itself into
bridal-chases and sham bridal-battles;
mere mockeries or mimicries of the grim
realities of those ancient days when
men literally took wives unto them
selves, in practical assertion that “none
hut the brave deserve the fair.”
In Singapore the winning of a bride
depends upon the matrimonial aspi
rant’s fleetness of foot or skill in pad
dling his own canoe. In the first case,
a circular course is marked out, half of
which is traversed by the maiden—en
cumbered only with a waistband—ere
the word is given for the would-be pos
sessor to go in pursuit, in the hope of
overtaking her before she has thrice
compassed the circle; that achieved, she
has no choice but to take the victor for
her lord. In the water chase, the dam
sel takeß her place in a canoe, and
plies its double-bladed paddle until she
has obtained a reasonable start, when
her admirer sets off after her. The
pair have come to a proper understand
ing beforehand; but should the girl
have no fancy for the suitor, and pos
sess sufficient determination and
strength of arm to gain the goal first,
she is at liberty to laugh as the discon
solate loser of tho match, and reserve
herself for a claimant more to her lik
ing- .
Hride-chasing is generally a trial of
’horsemanship. In this shape it is prac
ticed by most of the nomadic tribes of
Central Asia. Captain Barnaby tells
us that when it has to be deetded how
a Turcoman belle is to be settled in life
“the whole tribe turns out, and the
young lady, being allowed the choice of
horses, gallops away from her suitors.
They follow her. She avoids those she
dislikes, and seeks to throw herself in
the way of the object of her affections.
The moment she is caught she becomes
the wife of her captor. Further cere
monies are dispensed with, and he takes
her to his tent.” In some tribes the
girl is burdoned with the carcass of a
goat or lamb, which must be snatched
from her lap. The Hazavehs mark out
a course some twelve miles long and
three wido. As soon as the maiden has
got far enough from the crowd to be
able to guide her steed with perfect
freedom she turns around, stretches out
her hands to the waiting horsemen,
and her father gives the signal to go in
pursuit. The chase is sometimes a
long-lasting one. A traveler reeords
one in which, after two hours’ gallop
ing, the field of nine had dwindled to
four. Racing neck and neck together
the riders gradully gained on the quar
ry, each shouting in turn: “I come,
ray Peri! I am your lover!” Oneofthe
horses suddenly faltered in his 6tride,
and the dismayed girl saw that the
man of her heart was out of the hunt.
Making a quick turn, she darted right
across the path of th? three
and made at full speed for her lover.
The haffled suitors checked their head
long career with one accord, but com
ing into collision, two of them rolled
over on the plain; and, eluding the re
maining detrimental’s grasp with a tri
umphant laugh, the maiden reached
her lover’s side. In a moment his
arms was around her waist, and she
was his own.
Among the Kalmucks the bride-race
is reduced to a match, and Dr. Clark
avers that the girls are such good
horsewomen that for One to be caught
against her will was a thing unknown.
Ivulmucks of high degree, however, do
not run their brides down; they bar
gain for them, and the bargain conclud
ed the bridegroom and the chief man of
his hordes rides to the camp of the
bride’s people, who feign opposition to
the match, and only surrender the lady
after a mock conflict. Sometimes the
conflict is real enough. If a Kalmuck
swain cannot find the wherewithal to
satisfy the demands of his lady-love’s
parents, or is for any other reason ob
noxious to them, he enlists the aid of
his kinsmen who at the earliest chance
swoop down on the adverse Camp, and
providing they do not get the worst of
he fight, carry the prize of their valor
to the expectant lover’s arms.
In Circassia the carrying off of the
bride is a prearranged affair, the bride
groom and his followers rushing into
the bride’s house while the wedding
revelries are at their height there, and
bearing the unreluctant damsel off with
them. Against such an irruption the
Indian Mussulman provides by closing
the entrances to the lady’s abode, and
setting a guard before it to receive the
expected assailants. “Who are you
who dare to obstruct the king’s caval
cade?” demands the leader of the wife
seekiug band. “There are theives
abroad at night; possibly we behold
them,” is the reply. A long inter
change of uncomplimentary bandage
ensnes, terminating in an attempt to
break through the ranks of the bride’s
defenders. Failing in this, the bride
groom pays down a certain sum of
motley and the gates are flung open.
There is a second contest of strength
within the gates, ending, as a matter
of course, in giving up of the maiden
and her departure with the victorious
party.
The Ivhords have turned marriage
by capture from comedy into farce.
Riding one night among the hills and
English officer heard loud cries, seem
ingly proceeding from a village hard by.
Making for the spot, he saw a man
carrying upon his back something en
veloped in scarlet cloth. "He was sur
rounded by twenty or thirty young fel
lows, who had all their work to do to
protect him from the desperate assaults
of a number of girls. The man had
just been married, and was conveying
his blooming bride home; and not un
til he was ill the boundaries of his own
cottage did his fair put suers cease hurl
ing stones at him, as he and they ran
their hardest.
The mock-battle forms part of the
marriage ceremonies of the Kookles
dwelling on the northeast frontiers of
India; but with them the bride’s party
has the best of the bout. After the
purchase-money agreed upon has been
paid down the friends of the bride-buy
er essay to fetch his bargain, and get
well thrashed for their pains; but the
hurly-burly over the woman is brought
out, conducted to the cottage-gate and
then given up without any more ado.
Among the Garrows of Bengal the re
spective positions of the parties to the
marriage are reversed. It is the gentle
man’s part to effect unwillingness to
enter the bonds of matrimony; it is
for the lady to do the courting. When
she has brought her wooing to its
hoped-for end she fixes the day and
bids her friends come and make merry
with her. The feast finished, the guests
bear the hostess to the river and give
her a bath. Then a move is made for
the happy-man. Seeing the advancing
procession he pretends to hide, but soon
suffers himself to be caught, carried to
the water and well dipped therein. The
parents, setting up a dismal bawling,
rescue him from his captors and loudly
declare they will not part with their
beloved son. There is a scramble and
they are overcome, a cock and hen are
sacrificed, and the pair are man and
wife.
So late as the seventeenth century it
was customary in some parts of Ireland
for the bridegroom’s tricnds to receive
those of the bride with a shower of
darts, carefully directed so as to fall
harmless; aud Lord Kalmes, who died
in 1782, deposes that the marriage ob
servances of the Welsh of the day were
significantly symbolical of marriage by
capture, the respective fiiends of the
bride and groom meeting on horseback,
the former refusing to deliver the lady
on demand and bringing a sham con
flict, during which the nearest kins
man of the bride, behind whom she is
mounted, galloped away to be pursued
by the opposite party until men and
horses have had enough of it, when
the bridegroom was permitted to over
take the pretended fugitive and bear
her off in triumph.
The Burricors of Prance are theonlv
European people among whom the form
of capture still survives. Upon the
day of the wedding the doors of a
bride’s house are closed and barricaded,
the windows barred and her friends
mustered within. Presently the bride
groom’s party comes, asking admission
on one false pretense after another.
Finding of no avail they endeav
or to force an entrance, with no better
fortune. Then come* a parley; the besie
gers proclaim that they bring the lady
a husband and are admitted within
doors, to fight for the possession of the
heart, win it and the bride with it, the
couple being forthwith united in the
orthodox fashion.
Teethina (Teething Powders) is
fast taking the place of all other rem
edies for the irritations of Teething
Children.
A ROUMANIAN LEGEND.
In a little volume of Roumanian tales
it is obvious that pride of life, so long
as it is not ungrateful and ignorant,
but is simply the overflow of rich qual
ities of body or mind, is regarded by
the Roumanian popular genius with
especial favor. One of the legends con
cerns the daughter of a Boyard, who
falls in love with a handsome fisherman
and even goes so far as to make an offer
ot her hand—an offer which, after much
doubt and bashfulness, heat length ac
cepts.
There was a rule in those days that
the newly-married pair should each eat
from one lightly boiled egg; the fisher
man cut a thin slice of bread, and was
going to dip it into the egg, whjn
Mariola caught his arm, saying:
“No, I must eat of it first; I am a
Boyard’s daughter; you are only a fish
erman.”
No reply did he make, but, rising
quietly from the table, quitted the ban
queting hall, to the very great aston
ishment of many of the guests, who did
not know that he had been a fisherman.
The bride was very troubled at the
mistake she had made and sat biting
her lips with dismay and chagrin. Be
ing unable to support her position, she
withdrew to her bedroom and locked
herselt in. All night long sleep would
not come to her, and she could only
think of her absent bridegroom. At
early morning she went to her father to
demand permission to go in search of
her husband. Her father tried to dis
suade her from taking such a step, but
in vain, and she set off on her errand.
She traversed tho town, the country,
villages, country again, again villages,
until at length, in one of these small
villages she saw him meanly dressed
and acting as servant at a wayside inn.
Approaching him quickly she began to
addiess him, but he would not appear
to know her, and continued his occupa
tion. She entreated him only to speak
one word to her, but he only shrugged
his shoulders and turned away his head
The master of the inn, seeing this inter
ruption, called:
“How is it that you interfere with
my servant, and prevent his working?
Don’t you see that he is dumb? If you
are as respectable as your appearance
would show, I advise you to go away
and leave him alone.”
“He is not dumb,” cried she; “he is
my husband, and left "me for a single
misunderstanding.”
The villagers, who collected around,
were astonished at what she said, for
sho did not look like one who would be
poking fun at them. The inn-keeper
was also incredible, saying that a man
who was able to speak would not remain
a whole week without uttering a word.
In truth, all around took him to be a
mute,and used to converse with him by
signs. He had already gained their
good will by his usefulness and good
temper.
Mariola, seeing that no one would
believe her story, offered to make a bet
that in three days she would make her
husband speak, if she were allowed to
be always at his side; that if she did
not succeed she would consent to be
hung. This bet was accepted and
legalized by the prefect of the village.
The following day was to be the first
of the trial. The fisherman at the be
ginning of this, knew nothing of the
bet, though later on he got a whisper of
it. Mariola was constantly entreating
for one little word.
“My darling,” said she, “I have been
very, very wrong. I married you be
cause I loved you. 1 bind myself Dever
again in all our lifetime, to commit
such a fault. Soften your heart and
speak just one word to me.”
Yet no answer—only a shrug of the
shoulders as if he did not understand
what she was saying.
The first day passed—came the sec
ond day; that passed to yet no sound.
On the third day Mariola began to
tremble with fear, and followed the fish
erman wherever he went, still begging
him to speak only one word to her. He
on the other hand, fearing to be over
come by her tears, fled from her pres
ence.
The three days have passed; all the
villagers are taken up with the affair of
the dumb servant at the inn, and the
pretty looking girl who had mistaken
him for someone else, and brought this
misfortune on herself. The scaffold
was erected, the people have congregat
ed together to see the end of this trag
edy, the officials were there, who,
against their will, were bound to carry
the punishment. The executioner ap
proached Mariola, and led her to the
scaffold, saying that as she has failed
to make the dumb man speak, Bhe must
accept the forfeit of her life. Sighiug,
she turned her head once more toward
her impassive husband, but seeing no
yielding from him, she prepared herself
to die. Loosening her hair, she com
mended herself in prayer to God. All
the spectators were moved at the sight.
On tbe steps of the scaffold, with the
priest at her side, once more she tnrned
toward the fisherman, crying:
“My dear husband, pray come to my
rescue! One word will suffice.”
Shaking his heard he looked in an
other direction. With the noose in his
hand, waiting the executioner; soon he
adjusted it around Mariola’s pretty neck
—one more minute and all would have
been over; but the fisherman, stretching
forth his hand, called:
“Stop!”"
All the people were struck with as
tonishment, and tears of joy rolled
down their cheeks. The executioner
withdrew the noose, and the fisherman,
looking serenely at Mariola, asked:
“Will you ever again taunt me with
being a fisherman?”
With great emotion, she cried:
“Forgive me, my dear husband! I
own my fault, and will never wound
your feelings again.”
“Let her come down,” said he, “for
she is indeed my wife,” and, taking her
by the hand, he led her back to their
home, where their life was one banquet
of happiness and prosperity in future.
The Bart Boy Graduates in the
Drug Business.
“Well, what are you loafing around
here for?” says the grocery man to the
bad boy one morning this week. “It
is after nine o’clock, and 1 should think
you would want to be down to the
drug store. How do you know but
there will be somebody dying for h
dose of pills?”
“0, darn the drugstore. I have got
sick of that business, and I have dis
solved with the drugger. I have re
signed. The policy of the store did
not meet with my approval, and I have
stepped out and am waiting for them
to come and tender me a better position
at an increased salary,” as he threw a
cigar stub into a barrel of prunes and
lit a fresh one.
“Resigned, eh?” said the grocery
man as he fished ont the cigar stub and
charged the boy’s father with two
pounds ot prunes. “Didn’t you and
the boss agree?”
“Not exactly. I gave,an old lady
some gin when she asked for camphor
and water, and she made a show of her
self. I thought I would fool her, but
she knew mighty well what it was, and
she drank about a half a pint of gin,
and got to tipping over bottles and
kegs of paint, and when the drug man
came in with his wife, the old woman
threw her arms around his neck and
called him her darling, and when he
pushed her away, and told her she was
drunk, she picked up a bottle of citrate
of magnesia and pointed it at him, and
the cork came out like a pistol, and he
was shot, and his wife fainted away,
and the police came and took the old
gin refrigerator away, and then the
drug man told me to face the door, and
when I wasn’t looking he kicked me
four times, aud I landed in the steet,
and he said if I ever came in sight of
the store again he would kill me dead.
That is the way I resigned. I tell vou
they will send formeagain. They never
can run that store without me.”
“I guess they will worry along with
out yon,” said the grocery man. “How
does your pa take your being fired out?
I should think it would break him all
up?”
'“Oh, I think pa rather likes it. At
first he thought he had a soft snap
with me in the drug store, cause
he has got to drinking again,
like a fish, and he has gone back on
the church entirely, but after 1 had put
a few things in his brandy he con
cluded it was cheaper to buy it, and he
is noiv patronizing a barrel house down
by the river. One day I put some Cas
tile soap in a drink of brandy, and pa
leaned over the back fence more than
an hour, with his finger down his throat.
The man that collects the ashes from
the alley asked pa if he had lost any
thing, and pa said he was only ‘sugar
ing off.’ I don’t know what that is.
VVhen pa felt better he came in, and
wanted a little whiskey to take the
taste ont of his mouth, and I gave him
sunt with about a teaspoonful of pul
verized alum in it. Well, sir, you’d a
died. Pa’s mouth and throat was so
puckered up that he couldn’t talk.
don’t think that drug man will make
anything by firing me out, because I
shall turn all the trade that I control
to another store. Why, sir, sometimes
there were eight and nine girls in the
store at onct, on account of my being
there. They come to have me put ex
tracts on their handkerchiefs, and eat
gum drops. He will lose all that trade
now. My girl that went back on me
for the telegraph messenger boy, she
came with the rest of the girls, but she
found that I could be as hawty as dook.
I got even with her though, I pretended
1 wasn’t mad, and when she wanted me
to put some perfumery on her handker
chief I said all right, and I put on a
little geranium and white rose,and then
I got some tincture of assafety and
sprinkled on her dress and cloak when
she went out. That is about the worst
smelling stuff that ever was, and I was
glad when she went out and met the
telegraph boy on the corner. They
went off together, but he came back
pretty soon, about the home sickest boy
you over saw, and he told my chum he
would never go with that girl again be
cause she smelled like spoiled oysters
or Rewer gas.
Her folks noticed it, and made her
go and wash her feet, and soak herself,
and her mother told my chum it didn’t
do any good,she smelled just like aglew
factory, and my chum, the darn fool,
told her mother that it was me who
prefnmed her, and he hit me in the eye
with a frozen fish down by the fish storo,
and that’s what makes my eye black,
but I know how to cure a black eye. I
have not been in the drug store eight
days and not know how to cure a black
eye. And I guess I learned that girl
not to go back on a boy ’canse he smells
like a goat.”— Peck's Sun.
On Thirty Day’s Trial.
The Voltaic Belt Cos., Marshall, Mich,
will send Dr. Dye’s Celebratrd Electro-
Voltaic Belts and Electric Appliances
on trial for thirty days to men (young or old)
who are afflicted with Nervous Debility,
Lost Vitality and Manhood, and kindred
troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete
restoration of health and manly vigor. Ad
dress as above. N. B.—No risk is Incurred,
as thirt y days’ tfial is allowed; dec2l-ly
| KOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUM.
A Texas Mother-In-law.
A tall woman, wearing a sun bonnet,
came into the office of the Galveston
Chief of Police, yesterday morning,
and, sitting down hard on the end of a
bench, wiped her n.jse, batted her eyes
a time or so at the Chief of Police, and
asked in a voice that reminded one of
sharpening a saw:
“Be you the galoot that looks folks
up?”
“I regret to say that I am occasion
ally obliged to resort to such extreme
measures with refractory persons.”
“I know all that, but be you the
galoot?”
“Yes, madam.”
“Why didn’t you say so when I ask
ed you?”
“I did.”
“You are a liar, and if you don’t
treat me like a lady, I’ll fold you up
and sit down on yon,” and she batted
her eyes some more like a terror.
“What do you want?” asked the
official looking as if he needed reinforce
ments right away, and plenty of them.
“I want that dirty little whelp what
married my daughter. I want to talk
to him on business, but he evades me.
If I could only get a chance to caress
him once more!” and she breathed hard
and gritted her teeth until the official
felt in his pocket for a police whistle.
“What did he do?”
“He told my darter that he would
give 320 acres of land,with a gold mine
on it, to anybody who would amper
tate my jaw with a boot-jack. He
said my mouth was like the gate at the
Fair Grounds.”
“He meant, I suppose, it was never
shut. I don’t see how he come to make
any such ridiculous comparison as that.
Did you remonstrate with him?”
“You bet I did. I drawed him across
the kitchen table by the hair with one
hand, while I based him with a long
handle skillet, and you should have
heard him calling me ‘mother darling,’
and ‘pet,; but providence agin me. His
har gave way, and he lit out before I
could reason with him anymore. Just
as like as not we will never meet again,”
and she sighed heavily.
“Be calm, madam; do not excite
yourself too much.”
“I am calm. I like to talk about
these family secrets. It calls up sacred
recollections. It makes me think of my
darter’s fust husband. It was real fun
to remonstrate with him. His har
didn’t give. He was game. He sassed
back, but Lord! what a time they had
holding the inquest. That was at Ar
kansas, before I moved to Galveston.
There was some of his remains in one
corner of the yard, and a few more re
mains hanging on the fence, and there
was right smart ol him wrapped around
the ax handle. The jury knew me, so
they brought in a verdict of justifiable
suicide or homicide, or something like
that. And now to think of this" pesky,
little, worthless, spindle shanked, gog
gled-eyed whelp, getting clear off, ex
cepting a few pounds of har. I want
you to find him for me. Y'ou can know
him by the brands 1 made on him with
the hot skillet. Wanted to ampertate
my jaw, the little biassy whelp! Said
my mouth was like a gate, did he?”
The official said he would hunt for
him and let her know. As she went
out she batted her eyes significantly at
the official and remarked:
“You had better find that prodigal
son or thar’ll be music at these head
quarters.”
WOMAN.
Better than the smiles of Kings.
To bring health, and happiness to the
homes of suffering women is a mission be
fore which royal favor sinks into insignifi
cance. What earthly benefaction can com
pare witli one which protects from
“That dire disease whose ruthless power
Withers beauty’s tsansient flower?”
which gives ease for pain, Joy for sorrow,
smiles for tears, the roses of health for the
Sailor of disease, the light elastic step for
ragging weariness, nightsof soft repose for
heavy hours of tossing restlessness, bound
ing vigor for languishing dulness, the swell
ing lines of full grown beauty for the sharp
and withered form of emaciation, a long life
of mental, physical, social and domestic en
joyments for a few sad days of pain and
gloom, endingin an early grave? Such isthe
mission, such are the resultt of Dr. J. Brad
field’s Female Regulator, which is hence
truly and appropriately styled “Woman’s
Best Friend.’’
“Whites,” and all those irregularities of
the womb so destructive to the health, happi
ness and beauty of women, disappear like
magic before a single bottle of tins wonder
ful compound. Physicians prescribe it.
Prepared by Dr. J. Bradfield, Atlanta, Ga.
Price, trial size. 75c; large size, 51.501 For
sale by all druggists. Jan9-2m
Wliat an Editor Says.
There are so many patent humbugs and
nostrums, in the way of medicines, adver
tised all over the country, that the masses
are skeptical and are loth to buy unless the
article offered for sale is known to possess
real merits; and on the other hand, names
of well known citizens are often forged to
certificates for the purpose of effecting sale
and palming off a worthless preparation.
Taking these facts into consideration, it
gives me pleasure to add my testimonial to
a medicine which I know from personal ex
perience to do all that is claimed for it.
<>f course 1 refer to “Neuralglne,” a spe
cific for neuraligia and headache, put up in
this city by Hutchison & Bro.
W. T. Christopher.
Ed. Atlanta Daily Phonograph.
HUTCHINSON & BKO.,Proprietors, At
lanta, Ga. Sold by Dr. E. J. Eldridge, J. E.
Hall, W. TANARUS, Davenport & Son and A. J.Jfc
W. B. Hudson. Jan. 101 m.
Mr. W. H. Barrett, Augusta, Ga.,
Dear Sir—l can cheerfully recom
mend your GILDER PILLS as the
best Blood Purifier I have ever used.
Giving to the system a healthy tone,
improving the appetite and clearing
the complexion. They have also re
lieved me of headaches resulting
from billiousness. They stand pre
eminent as the beet pill made.
v *'“ SS Y’wiz 1 .
NO. 33.