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THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUMTER REPUBLICAN.
GNTAUUIMMED IN 1834,
By CM A**. W. HANCOCK. (
VOL. 18.
The Sumter Republican.
Bexi-Weekly, One Year - - - |4 00
VVeely, One Year - - - - - 2.00
t39~PAYABLB IN ADVANCE_3
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an act passed by the late General Assembly
of Georgia—7B cents per hundred words for
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date and signature, is counted as a word.
The cash must accompany the copy of each
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ments have been made.
Advertising' Kates.
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All advertisements not contr acted for will
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Advertisements not specifying the length
ef time for which they are to be inserted
will be continued until ordered out and
charged for accordingly.
Advertisements to occupy fixed places will
be charged 25 per cent, above regular rates
Notices in local column inserted for ten
cent per line each insertion.
Charles F. Crisp,
•flitomen at JLaw ,
AMERICUS, GA.
declfitf •
B. P. HOLLIS
•attorney at Law,
AMERICUS, GA.
Office, Forsyth Street, in National Bank
building. dec2otf
E. G SIMMONS,
•attorney at E,aw,
AMERICUS GA.,
Office in Hawkins’ building, south side of
, Lamar Street, in the old office of Fort&
' Simmons. janOtf
, JT. A, AAHS.EY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
AND SOLICITOR IN EQFITf.
Office on Public Square, Over Gyles’
Clothing Stoke, Amekicus, Ga.
After a brief respite 1 return again to the
practice of law. As in the past it will be
my earnest purpose to represent my clients
faithfully and look to their interests. The
commercial practice will receive close atten
tion and remittances promptly made. The
Equity practice, and cases involving titlesof
land and real estate are my favorites. Will
practice in the Courts of Southwest Georgia,
the Supreme Court and the United States
Courts. Thankful to my friends for their
patronage. Fees moderate. novlltf
CARD.
I offer my professional services again to the
good people of Americas. After thirty years’
of medical service, I have found It difficult
to withdraw entirely. Office next door to
Dr. EldrUlge’s drugstore, on the Square
janlTtf K. C. BLACK, M. D.
OR. BACLEY’
INDIAN TKGEI IB E LIVER AND
KIDNEY PILLS.
For sale by all Druggists iu Americus.
Price 25 cents per box. jau26 wly
Dr. D. P. HOLLOWAY,
\ DentisT,
Americus. - Georgia
Treatssuccessfullyall diseascsof the Den
tal organs. Fills teeth by the Improved
method, and inserts artificial teeth on the
best material known to the profession.
(SM*OFFI<JE over Davenport and Son's
Drug Store. marllt
M. H. O’DANIEL. M. D
Americus. Ga.
Office and Residence, No. 21 Barlow
House.
All calls promptly attended, day or night.
Calls left at Eldridge’s Drug Store.
feb7-3m
Dr. J. F. Stapleton
Offers his professional services to the people
of Americus and surrounding couutry. lie
will practice medicine, surgery, obstetrics,
and all other matters pertaining to his pro
fession. A successful experience in the past
will guarantee to him success. Calls left at
the residence of Mrs. Mary Jossey, at Dr.
e’s Drug Store, and at the office of
ea<l & Black, will receive prompt
attention. Jani9-3m
Livery aallaTs Cu'cls:!
Besides Horses, we have the WEBSTER
WAGON, LANDIS BUGGIES, J. T.
BARNES’ ROAD CARTS, KENTUCKY
MULES, here and en route. To epitomize,
Horses, Mules. Wagons, Buggies. Carts,
and Harness to suit ail tastes and judge
meuts, Fine styles, substantial goods at ex
ceedingly LOW FIGURES. The times con
sidered in all our dealings. Call and see us.
N. G & J K. PRINCE.
Cotton Ave. and West End Jefferson St,
jan3tf Americus, Ga.
Real Estate fur Sale.
dfcQK/k EASY TERMS; 150 YARDS
fflvUl/i from business portion of
city; a neat and well arranged four-room
dwelling, with cook room attached; good
servant’s house on place; spleudid well of
water; beautiful flower yard; rich garden
spot, and several choice fruit trees tu bear
ing.
1 (frO K(\ CASH FOR 150 ACRES FIVE
i, tJPOOU miles west of Americus; good
/Improvements; 100 acres In cultivation; imi-
" ' knee original forest; plenty of water on
jtllbce; splendid location for fish pond.
iQAG CASH WILL BUY2OO ACRES
tJD of good land three miles from
Bmitfirllle; 180 acres cleared; balance well
timbered; good settlement and good water
on place.
H A HDY JSc. TOMM UY,
fcb24-tf Real Estate Agents.
For \j jspepsia,
yjyjl faH WiKIA Costiveness,
JlCjLJihi 1 liL JkiSick Headache,
Chronic Diar
y rhcea, Jaundice,
___ Impurity of the
Blood, Fever and
and all Diseases J
caused by De
rangement of Liver, Bowels and Kidneys.
6YMPTOM3 OF A DISEASED LIVER.
Bad Breath; Pain in the Side, sometimes the
pain is felt under the Shoulder-blade, mistaken for
Rheumatism; general loss of appetite; Bowels
Snerally costive, sometimes alternating with lax;
e head is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy,
with considerable loss of memory, accompanied
with a painful sensation of leaving undone something
which ought to have been done; a slight, dry cough
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often
mistaken for consumption: the patient complains
of weariness and debility; nervous, easily startled;
feet cold or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation
of the skin exists; spirits are low and despondent,
and, although satisfied that exercise would be bene
ficial, yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to
try it—in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several
ot the above symptoms attend the disease, but cases
have occurred when but few of them existed, yet
examination after death has shown the Liver to
have been extensively deranged.
It should be uied by all persons, old and
young, whenever any of the above
symptoms appear.
Persons Traveling or Living; In Un
healthy Localities, t>y taking a dose occasion
ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid
all Malaria, Bilious attacks, Dizziness, Nau
sea, Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It
will invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no In
toxicating; beverage.
If You have eaten anything hard of
digestion, or feel heavy after meals, or sleep
less at night, take a dose and you will be relieved.
Time and Doctors* Bills will be saved
by always keeping the Regulator
' in the House!
For, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly
safe purgative, alterative and tonic can
never be out of place. The remedy harmless
and does not interfere with business or
pleasure.
IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE,
And has alj the power and efficacy of Calomel or
Quinine, without any of the injurious after effects.
A Governor's Testimony.
Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my
family for some time, and I am satisfied it is a
valuable addition to the medical science.
J. Gill Shorter, Governor of Ala.
Hon. Alexander 11. Stephens, of Ga. t
says: Have derived some benefit from the use of
Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a
further trial.
“The only Thing that never fails to
Relieve.*’—l have used manv remedies for Dys
pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never
have found anything to benefit me to the extent
Simmons Liver Regulator has. I sent from Min
nesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for
such a medicine, and would advise all who are sim
ilarly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only
thing that never fails to relieve.
P. M. Janney. Minneapolis, Minn.
Dr. T. W. Mason says: From actual ex
perience in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in
iny practice I have been and am satisfied to use
and prescribe it as a purgative medicine.
only the Genni He, which always
has on the Wrapper the r<*d Z Trurie-Muj'k
and Signature of ,J. 11. ZEILIN & CO.
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGIST
TUTTS
PILLS
A DISORDERED LIVER
IS THE BANE
of the present generation. It ia for the
Cure of this disease and its attendants}
KICK-HEADACHE, BILIOUSNESS, DYS
EEPSIA, CONSTIPATION, FILES, etc., that
ffifTT’B PILLS have gained a woricT-wide
reputation. No Remedy has ever been
discovered that acts so gently on the
digestive organs, giving them vigor to as
similate food. Asa natural result! the
MervoufTSystem is Braced, the Muscles
are Developed, and the Body Robust.
Ch.lJ.la and Pexrer,
E. RIVAL, a Planter at Bayou Sara, La., says
My plantation is in a malarial dlstrlot. For
several years I could not mako half a crop on
account of bilious diseases and chills. I was
nearly discouraged when I began the use of
TUTT’S PILLS. The result was marvelous:
my laborers soon became hearty and robust,
and I have had no further trouble.
They rel leve the engorged Liver, cleanse
the Blood from poisonous humors, and
cause the bowels to act naturally, with
out which no one can feel well.
Try this remedy fairly, and you will gala
a healthy Digestion, Vigorous Body. Pare
Blood, String Nerves, and a Sound Liver.
Price. 25 Cent*. Office. 85 Murray St., N. Y.
TUTT’S HAIR DYE.
Gray Hair or Whiskers changed to a Glossy
Black by a single application of this Dye. It
imparts a natural color, and acts Instantaneously.
Bold by Druggists, or sent by express on receipt
of One Dollar.
Office, 83 Murray Street, New York.
(Dr. TUTTS MANUAL of
Information and Useful Receipts I
wili bo mailed free on application**
HOSSFEi^
Sitters
Invalids who are recovering vital stamina,
declire in grateful termi their appreciation
(>1 (ae merits as a tnnie of Host*-tier’s Stom
ach Uitfcua. None only does it impart
strength to the weak, hut also corrects an
irregular acid state of the stomach, makes
the bowels act at proper intervals, gives ease
to those who suffer from rheumatic and kid
ney troubles, and oonquers as well as pre
vents fever and ague.
For sale by ail Druggists and Dealers
generally.
FOUTZ’S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
No Ho*i* wni Ole of coiio Bon or Irxo l
rn.' li Foute’s Powders vre used In time.
• Foute’s Powders will cure snd*preVcntHoo Crolira.
route's Powders will prevent Garbs in Fowls.
Foute's Powders Will Increase the qnnntlty of milk:
and cream twenty per cent., and make tho butter firm
Snd sweet.
Foutz's Powdefrs will enre or prevent almost every
Disease to which Horses snd Cattle are subject.
Foutz’s Powders will give Satisfaction.
Bold everywhere.
DAVID F. FOTJT2, Proprietor*
INDEPENDENT IN POLITICK, AND DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, SCIENCE AND GENERAL PROGRESS.
AMERICUS, GEORGIA, SATURDAY, MARCH 17, 1883.
TABERNACLE SERMONS.
B¥ REV. T. lie WITT TALMAGE
[The Sermons of Dr. Talmage are publish
ed in pamphlet form by Geo. A. Sparks,
48 Bible House, New York. A number
containing 26 Sermons is issued every
three months. Frice SOceuts, $1 per an
num].
ALEXANDER H. STEPHENS.
“A little one shall become a thousand.” —
Isaiah, ix, 20.
In this prophecy is set forth that
which we have all noticed—that the
amount of avoirdupois weight does not
decide the amount of one’s effective
ness. Many a man with vast physi
cal equipment does not weigh hall an
ounce on the side of the world’s better
ment, while many an ona of insignifi
cant stature and feeble forearm and de
crepid limb his weighed a ton on the
right side of the moral balances. Da
vid, the King of Israel was so small a
mite that he upset the gravity of Go
liath, yet the sword of the giant is hung
up in history as impotent beside the
sling of his dwarfish combatant. Na
poleon was only about five feet in stat
ure; Archibald Alexander head and
shoulders above other preachers of his
time in theological attainment, yet not
more than up to their elbows in physi
cal height—one of the smallest and
one of the mightiest that God ever
made. And some of the grandest and
most decisive and resounding strokes
that have been given for God and the
church and the world have been given
by men whoso bodily equipment has
been only an apology for the soul’s
earthly retention. Isaac Wa’tts set his
diminutive personal appearance into
immortal rhythm. One such man as
any I have mentioned, though built on
contracted corporeal scale, in intellect
ual jr moral foice amounts to a thous
and ordinary people—their achieve
ments far beyond anything their body
prophesied. So my text has its splen
did echo, and “a little one became a
ihousaud.”
Among these men of small body but
great soul 1 place on the name of one,
the announcement of whose death falls
on me with this evening shadow. A.
H. Stephens, Governor ol’Georgia and
late member of the Congress of the
United States, is no more, for God
hath taken hint With him I have
had warm personal friendship, and the
tidings came to me this afternoon like
a sharp blast out of the north rather
ame sage from the balmy south. I
have nothing to do with Alexander 11.
Stephens as a politician; but as a
warm-hearted friend, as a devoted
Christian, as a simple-hearted man, as
a great and magnificent soul wrapped
up in frailest earthly tenement, I have
something loving, and earnest, and
solemn and joyful to say about him.
Though a little man he tvaß a thous
and.
He was, first of all, a Christian.
Not one of those men who merely adorn
their speeches with the religion of Je
sus Christ as a rhetorical allusion—
not a man who serves the world and
serves Satan all his life, and then,
just in the last moment of his earthly
existence, cries out for God, and every
body eulogizes him as a Christian, a
member of our beloved denomination.
Bosom friend and lifelong companion
of Rev. Dr. Samuel K. Talmage,
whose name in all branches of my own
family is a benediction. The theolog
ion of whom I now speak, like his
Senatorial friend whom I commemo
rate “a little one who became a thous
and.” “Never,” said Alexander Ste
phens, “come to Washington without
coming to see me, for your uncle Sam
uels sake.” Yes Alexander Stephens
believed in God, tho Father Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth, and in Je
sus Christ, His only begotten Son,
with more brain than all the infidels
now blatant and blaring and blasphe
ming around Washington, yet believ
ing the bible from lid to lid, and in
glorious Christianity, and all up and
down the South are ministers of the
Gospel who went into college, and into
theological seminary and into the pul
pit through Alexander 11. Stephen’s
pocket. With no princely estate, lam
told that for the last thirty years there
has not been an hour in which he lias
not been supporting men on their way
to the medical profession, or the law,
or the pulpit, and at times supporting
five or six young men struggling for
an education. Himself starling for
the Christian ministry and turning
aside into the legal profession, yet to
day preaching all over the South the
gospel of good tidings which shall jet
ho to all people. He was one of the
few men who, like James Lenox, of
New York, could stay outside of the
marriage relation and yet become kin
der and genial and more sympathetic
and more generous as the vears went
hy. First he honored God, and next
he honored Christjnu womanhood, and
wherever thore was a burdened matt
who wanted help, or wayward man
who wanted opportunity of return, or a
struggling young man who wanted an
education, there was one who might
count on Mr. Stephens as a powerful
ally. Within ten days I have heard
his colored servants iu most unlimited
terms speak his praise. The devotion
of the black man who waited upon
him amounted almost to worship.
His home in Crawfordville, Ga., and
in the executive mansion at Atlanta,
and his rooms at the National Hotel
at Washington, were the centre of
helpfulness and good cheer and hospi
tality and culture. His heart was
large enough for the world to enter.
Only eighty-five potinds in physical
weight. At auv moment the last forty
years a possibility that through the in
sufficient bars of the flesh his spirit
might fly away. Though ho lived iu
stormy times, all who knew him knew
that he was a champion of peace—the
very last man in his State to surrender
to the decree of secession crying out af
ter Gen. Pope’s defeat in Virginia for
compromise, gladly going to Fortress
Monroe to meet William H. Seward iu
treaty about the best way of stopping
the war, and after the close of the
dreadful straggle every where counsel
ling amity on largest scale and forget
fuiuess of old grudges. Some of you
remember reading his speech of No
vember 14,1860, in which he said in
the House of Representatives in Geor
gia:
“ When I look around and see our
prosperity in everything—agriculture,
commerce, art, science, and eveiy de
partment of education, physical and
mental as well as moral advancement,
and our colleges—l think in the lace of
such an exhibition, if we can, without
the loss of power or any essential right
or interest, remain in the Union it is
our duty to ourselves and to our pos
terity to do so. Our first parents, the
great progenitors of the human race,
were not without a like temptation
when in the Garden of Eden. They
were led to believe that their condition
would be bettered, that their eyes
would be opened and that they would
become as gods. They in an evil horn
yielded. Instead ol becoming gods
they only saw their own nakedness. 1
look upon this country, with our in
stitutions, as the E len of the world,
the Paradise of the minister. It may
be that out of it we may become great
er atm more prosperous, but I am can
did and sincere iu telling you that 1
fear if we rashly evince passion, and
without sufficient cause shall take that
step, that iitsteaii ot becoiuiug greater
i r more peace!t.l prosperous and happy,
instead ut becoming gods we will then
be demons, and at no distant day com
mence cutting one another’s throats.
T his is my apprehension. Let us there
fore, whatever we do, meet these diffi
culties, great as they are are, like wise
and sensible men, and consider them
in the light of all the couseqneuces
which may attend our actiou. Let us
see first clearly where the path of duty
leads, and then we may not fear to
tread therein.”
1 read that extract to show you that
in his bosom the dove of peace always
nestled. He would not hurt a fiy,
much less a man. Had there been ten
such men at the South and ten such
men at the North, the grave trenches
would never have been dug and the
great shadows of bereavement would
not have fallen on every mountain and
valley home from the Penobscott to the
Alabama and from the Canadas to the
Gulf, One such tnauat the North and
one such at the >outh could not stem
the overwhelming tide. A little one
might become a thousand, but could
not become forty million.
What an example for all ages as to
what invalidism may accomplish is
this one sick and emaciated man now
departed! He told me he had not been
well for fifty years. First coming to
one cane, then to two canes, then to a
cane and a crutch, then to two
crutches, afterwards to a wheeled chair.
Wheeled into the rail-train. Wheel
ed on the steamboat. Wheeled into
the hotel. Wheeled into Congression
al hall. Wheeled into the gubernato
rial mansion. Wheeled upon tlie stage
of the opera house at Savannah, where
in their great celebration he took his
final cold. Wheeled up to the sick
bed on which he was laid down to die
WJiat an inspiration for all invalids!
Why give up the battle of life because
some ot your weapons are captured?
Take from the world the work of the
invalids and you make an appalling
subtraction. Robert Hall an invalid.
Edward Payson an invalid. Richard
Baxter an invalid. The men ot Bryan
in Ireland heard that the battle had
gone against their country and they
said: “We are too weak to stand up
and fight, but you drive your stakes in
to the ground and then carry us out of
the hospital and fasten us to the stakes
and then we will fight with our other
arm.” And so it was done. The
stakes were driven into the ground;
these wounded men were brought out
of the hospital. Notable to stand
alone, they were fastened to these
stakes by the one side, and with the
other arm they fought to desperation
and they fought to death. The great
victories for God and the truth have
not been gained by those who have full
equipment. John Milton saw further
without eyes than thousands of men
ever saw with them. Luck out for the
soldier’s crutch and the old man's staff
if they be wielded for patriotism or
Christianity, Iu garrets, in cellars, iu
sjek rooms, in asylums, in hospitals,
how many of the Lord’s troops! Some
in one way and some iu another way
efficient for good. O! hearer, is there
not someone iu your house to-night
unable to come to the house of God
through illness, the most potent one
for goat] iu your liousqjtohl? Many a
man with one arm has accomplished
more for the kingdom of Christ than
others with two arms. It is not the
number of guns we carry, but the
way we limber them. It is not our
grandonrof opportunity, but the use
we may make of it. With two eyes,
and two ears, and two hands, aud two
feet, we may not be worth the space we
occupy, while Alexander 11. Stephens
could make his wheeled chair a con
querer’B chariot. Sportsmen go out to
see two stout pugilists batter each oth
er into indistinguishable visage, but I
go out in my discourse to-night to see
poor eyesight, and shrivelled arm, and
palsied foot, and rheumatic knee cap
ture Congressional hall, and Senatorial
chamber, and gubernatorial chair, aud
the respect of Christendom.
More than anything am I impressed,
as I see this little one become a thous
and, with the fact that the soul is dis
tinct and independent of the body.
That a man was a fool who thought
the puny creature of the invalid’s chair
was Alexauder U. Stephens. It was
only the shell of him, it was only the
scaffolding of an Alhambra, it was on
ly the anchor of a winged ship ready to
sail away as soon as the impediment
was lifted. Away with all your mod
ern agnostic talk about the soul being
only a development of the body. Do
you really think that the great Archi
tect of the universe would build such
a magnificent cupola on such an insuf
ficient foundation? No, the poor body
that this week bereft Georgians shall
put into the dust is not Alexander H.
Stephens. He lives. He widens out
into grander existence. He has moved
up aud on. He has- gone among the
giants. Never has there been for this
century a grander lesson of immortali
ty for the American people. So large
a soul in so little a body. What a re
lief it must be to get out of the crip
ple’s vehicle. What a promotion,
from the arms of the dusky servants
who helped him from room to room
and up the marble stairs of the Capitol
at Washington, to the arms of angels,
and the arms of Christ, and the aims
of God. Wing instead of crutch!
Health instead of sickness! Rapture
instead of pain! Heaven instead of
earth. Great and gracious spirit, fare
thee well until we ‘ meet again under
cloudless skies and in gardens of eter
nal summer! With more meaning
than ever before that little one has be
come a thousand.
What a mighty place heaven must
be! From exalted aud from humble
spheres the great souls are ascending.
Roll on, sweet day which shall bring
us into companionship with those who
having passed the flood, are now more
radiautthan when we knew them here.
Yes, though you and I are so weak
uow, we shall be mighty. It doth not
yet appear what we.shall bo Ten times
better than now, a hundred times bet
ter, five hundred times better. Yea, “a
little one Bhall become a thousand.”
A thousand times more speed, a thous
and times more holiness, a thousand
limes more strength, a thousand times
more like God. lam glad for this
evidence that Christianity is not an
imbecile fabrication. 0! young man,
hear this. If religion had been a sham,
Alexander H. Stephens was the very
man to find it out. lam glad to point
to his name on the Bcroll of the Gospel
mighties. On that same scro.ll tho
Henry Clays, and the Calhouns, and
the Sir William Hamiltons, and
the Blackstones, and the Raphaels, and
the Mozarts, and the Gladstones,
any one of them a thousand. Young
men scoffed at tor your verdancy and
weakness in still adhering to the relig
ion of your fathers. I advise you to
carry in your pocket a scroll a yard
long, all full of the names of those who
like Alexander 11, Stephens, believed
in Christ and the Bible, and ask these
scoffers to explain it. Yea, copy down
the words of the strongest American
intellect of his time, the dying expe
rience of Daniel Webster a coadjutor
and warm friend of the illustrious
Georgian. At Marshfield, hear the
ejaculation ot the dying orator:
“Amen. Amen. Even so come, Lord Jesus.
Should worlds conspire to drive me hence,
Moveless and firm this heart shall lie,
Resolved for this my last defense,
li I must perish, here to die.”
Then a moment after crying out,
“Lord I believe—help thou mine un
belief !” And a moment after that ex
claiming, “I shall be to-night in life
and joy and blessedness!” In such a
hope expired Daniel Webster, the ex
pounder of the Constitution. In that
same hope expired Alexander H. Ste
phens, the illustrious Georgian.
Alexander H. Stephens’ Motto.
New York Sun.
Edward W. Bok, the autograph
hunter of Brooklyn, has the following
note in his possession from Alexander
H. Stephens:
My Dear Young Friend: Y'our
very polite note of the 16th ult. was
duly received, but I have not been able
to reply sooner, owing to ill health. In
now complying with your request, J
know not how better to do it than to
give yon one of the mottoes adopted
by me early in life, and hy which I
have ever sinco been governed:
Houor and shame from no condition
rise;
Act well your part,* there all the
honor lies. Your well wisher
Alexander H. Stephens;
Silver Creek, N. Y., )
Feb. 6,1880. (
Gents—l have been very low, and
have tried everything, to no advant
age. I heard your Hop Bitters re
commended by so many, I concluded
to give them a trial. I did, and now
am around, and constantly improving
and am nearly as strong as ever.
W. H. Wheeler.
W\ ft u a
WHY HE DIED.
BY PAUL MULLER.
We see by the papers that a man in
Delaware died upon bis wedding night.
He was married in the eveuing and the
next morning upon waking, bis bride
of a few hours before, found him dead
by her side.
Poor fellow, he must have been of a
very sensitive disposition, and when be
once saw the ruin and desolation that
marks the spot where a woman disrobes
for the night, and realized that he
would be called upon to face such an
ordeal every night of his life, it threw
him into cottvulsions and he died as the
easiet way out of the trouble. Or she
may have touched him with one of her
feet and threw hitn into a chill from
which he was uttable to rally. Of
course we may be wrong in these con
clusions. It is just possible they may
have quarrelled about which of them
should get up and wind the clock, or
bring in the pancake batter from the
kitchen, and set it behind the sitting
room stove. Or he may have request
ed her to hang her corset on a chair,
instead of the foot-board of the bed,and
when she refused—as any woman of
spirit would—he made some unkind re
mark about the relation to the gaiter
aud stocking that occupied the most
conspicuous place in the center of the
room, bore to the gaiter that lay in the
doorway, and the stockings that hung
over the am of an easy chair in the
sitting-room, and she told him that if
he expected to dictate to her how she
should dispose of her clothes he was
very much mistaken in the selection he
had made, and then she turned her face
to the wall and took all the bed clothes
with her, and he lay there and froze to
death. It is a very sad affair anyway,
and whether he died from any or all
of these causes, the fact that he died
shows that he was anew hand at the
business. If he could have lived for a
few weeks he would have become ac
customed to that sort of a tiling, and in
fact, in time would have felt lonesome
if he got up in the night to shake down
the fire a little, and did not fall over a
felt skirt and bump his head against
the corner of the bureau.
What this country needs is a place
where young men who are contemplat
ing matrimony can post themselves a
little in these matters, and thus be pre
pared to meet, without fear ol such fatal
results, the emergencies that are sure
to arise and menace them. The para
phernalia required to equip such
au institution would not be very ex
pensive. The largest item would be
an electric talking machine. No bat
tery would be required as the young
man taking the lesson could be depend
ed upon to furnish the electricity. Then
there would be a pair of zitte feet No.
4J, a dress of some kind of stuff that
would stand kicking around on the
floor, a felt skirt, a pair of full length
hose, a corset, a pair of—, but why
enumerate, say two hundred dollars
for the whole outfit. How could that
amount of money be laid out to better
advantage.
We suggest that a school of Emer
gencies be endowed for the benefit of
well meaning but deluded young men
who are contemplating matrimony.
What a work could be done. Think
of this young man, cut down just when
he was most needed. Think of the
millinery bill he might have paid had
he survived, and the yards of trimming
and sacks of buckwheat flour, and bars
of snap, that would in time have been
offered upon the altar of his necessities.
And he might have been saved to the
world had there been some place
where he could have accustomed him
self to the sight of a red corset hang
ing over the end of a washstand, and
familiarized himself with the sensation
experienced by falling over a chair
cunningly concealed under a calico
apron and an overskirt.
Au Intelligent Pointer,
Texas Sittings.
“Boss, ’sposon you was ter miss,
some mornin’, dat ar pure pinter dog
what you gib S2OO for, ho-v much would
you gib me ef I fotched him - back to
yer house ou Austin avenue?” asked
Sam Johnsing.
“L expect I would give you $10,” re
plied Col. Yerger, thoughtfully.
“Well den boss, jess hand out dat
$lO right now, and yer won’t miss dat
dog in de fust place. Hit will sabe
you a heap ob anxiety about de pup.”
The most singular thing was, that the
dog, which is a very intelligent animal,
cocked his head on one side and listen
ed attentively to what Sam Johnsing
had to say, and from that day to this
he crawls under the house when he
sees a colored man in the neighbor
hood.
Veterinary surgeons all over the
country are fiercely denouncing par
ties who put up extra large packet of
worthless trash and sell ft for condi
tion powders. They say thatSherdan’s
Calvary Condition Powders are the
only kind now known that are worth
carrying home.
A French lady, during the Biege of
Paris, driven by famine to eat her pet
dog, as she was famishing, exclaimed,
“Poor thing ho would have enjoyed
picking these bones!”
Farmers and others desiring a gen
teel, lucrative agency business, by
which $5 to S2O a day can be earned,
send address at once, on postal, to H.
C. Williamson A Cos., 195 and 197
Fulton Street, Now York. dec2‘M>m.
| FOUR DOLLARS PER ANNUL
NO. 50.
A MUM SOCIAL.
The Initiation of a Milwaukee
Young Man.
Feck’s Sun.
“Lend me your revolver,” said a
young man with his nose skinned, his
eyo blackened and his white necktie
around under his ear, and one tail of
his dress cost torn off, as he came into
a West Side saloon with his overcoat
on his arm and bis overshoes in his
hand, aud his clothes all covered with
snew.
“What’s the matter with von?”
said the bar-tender, looking ugly at
him; “do you suppose I’m going to
lend you a revolver to kill somebody,
and then be arrested for being an ac
cessory. Not much! But what’s the
matter? Yon look as though you
came out a window. Was anything
the matter with the door?”
The young man took a wet towel
and sopped the blood off his nose, then
went to a minor and fixed his necktie,
and turned his back aud looked in the
glass to see if tho absent coat-tail
showed much, then went and leaned
on the bar-tender for a moment and
said:
“Yon look like a man that can be
trusted, and whose advice woul4 be
safe to follow in an emergency, and I
will tell you about this murder that I
contemplate, and maybe you can give
me some points, as you have no doubt
murdered many people. The trouble
is right here. Our lodge is to give a
‘mum social’ this evening. You know
what a mum social is. Yeung people
go to a house and sit around all the
evening and keep their mouths shut,
and net er say a word till a signal is
given; then they make up for lost time
and talk for all that is out. (Is my
nose bleeding yet? Thanks). They
wanted me to go, and I just came from
there. That is, I came from the house
next door. You Bee, I went to the
wrong house and rung the bell. A man
in his shirt sleeves came to the door
and said ‘Good evening; bnt I wasn’t
going to bo caught speaking, because
you have to pay a forfeit if you speak.
So I just walked right in and pulled
off ray overcoat and hung it up, and
hung nty hat on the hat-rack. Tho
man looked at rao a little bit annoyed,
but he asked me if the weather was
not softening tip a little. I smiled,
but didn’t say anything, and I walked
into the sitting-room. 1 thought I
was the first one there, and I felt very
awkward. The man watched me pret
ty close, and finally he said I had the
advantage of him, and 1 smiled again,
but I didn’t say anything. Now that
I think ol it, I noticed that he unbut
toned his shirt sleeves and began to
roll them up. 1 did not think of it at
the time, but his arms were as big as
my legs. He asked me to what cir
cumstance he was indebted for the
honor of this visit, and I thought he
was trying to get me off my guard so I
would speak, when they would have
the laugh on me; so I smiled one of
my best two-for-a-quarter smiles, and
looked at him as much as to say, ‘you
can’t play any of your games on the
undersigned.’ I thought he was the
crossest man that I ever saw, and I
wondered what made the committee
have the mum sociable at his house. I
thought it time some of the rest of tho
crowd were coming, and i got up and
went to the window to look, when the
man came up beside me and hissed in
my ear, ‘what is your little game any
way?’ Well I wasn’t goirg to speak
and give myself away, so I looked at
him sort of impudent, as much as to
say, ‘oh, go and chase yourself around
my feet,’ and then 1 thought lightning
had struck me. He took me by the
throa'with one hand, and by the vi
cinity of the coat-tail with the other
hand, ami he choked me so my tongue
run, and his wife screamed and said,
‘don’t kill him,’ and the man hustled
me out into the hall, and opened the
front door, and he picked me up bodily
and threw me out into a snow bank
five feet deep. I struggled a little go
ing out of the door and run my nose
against the door-casing, and 1 guess
he forgot to let go of my coat tail when
I went nut. I struck head first in the
snow, and before I dig my head out
the doorclosed, and 1 could not ex
plain my conduct to the man. I was
bo mad I could not have explained any
way. Just as I got out of the snow
bank and shook myselt the door opened
and the man threw ont my overcoat
and hat and overshoes, and he told his
wife to hurry up with the shotgun, and
he would take me on the fly as I went
over the fence. Well, I didn’t wait
for no shotgun, but grabbed my coat
and things and came down the street
on a gallop. I met a lot ol the young
people going up, and aa I turned the
corner 1 saw them going into the next
house to the one that I visited, and
that was the first I knew of my mis
take. Now, what I want is for you
to tell me whether I had better shoot
that man or kill him with a club. I
was raised in the south, and my South
ern blood will not stand any such
treatment.”
The bar-tender laughed and told the
young fellow he had better go and
apologize to that man, or be would
kick the other coat-tail off the first
time he saw him, and the young man
said on second thought he reckoned he
would.
Johnson’s Anodyne Liniment Is
richly worth $lO a bottle in certain
cases. For instance, in cases of diph
theria, croup and asthma when the
sufferer Is almost dead for want of
breath and something is required to
act instantly. It costs only 85 cents.