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Ulisting.
An tweet as the breath that goes
From the lips of the white rose,
As weird as tbe elfin lights
That glimmer of frosty nights.
As wild as the winds that tear
The curled red leaf in the air,
Is the song I have never sung.
In slumber, a hundred times
I’ve said the enchanted rhymes.
Hut ere I open my eyes
This ghost of a poem flies;
Of the interfluent strains
Net sven a note remains :
I know by my pulses’ beat
Jt was something wild and sweet
ind my heart is strangely stirred
By an unremembered word 1
I strove, but I strove in vain.
To rftcall the lost refrain.
On some miraculous day
Perhaps in will come and stay;
In some unimagined spring
I may find my voice, and sing
The song I have never sung,
—[T. B. Aldrich, in the Atlantic.
Ohio And The Presidency.
The chaotic condition that Ohio is
left in by the cut-throat warfare between
Allen and Thurman adds largely to the
confusions of counsels abd clash of inter
cst which are to be “reconciled at St.
Louis, if there is to be a shadow of a
chance for the Democratic success in
1876. Ohio was wrested from the Re
publicas in 1873 1874, and would have
been held against them in 1875, not
withstanding the Republican conviction
of a decided majority of her poople, had
Democracy been equal to the judicious
exercise of power, Tut the success of
Alien, who was ressurrected from a re
tirement that was unbroken for a quarter
of a century, aroused the jealously of
younger leaders, and the violent depart
ure on the currency question was the na
tural fruits of desperate individual an
tagonisms. The crude inflation platform
of 1875 was made to single Allen out
from the common herd, and give him a
wreath of victory that would command
the reverence of all the prostrated and
suffering classes of the country. It was
not a battle for inflation, nor for the
Gubanatorial chair of Ohio, but for the
White Ilojjse, and the nephew Senator,
who had summoned the uncle to the
field in 1873 to save the nephew’s Sen
atorial seat, called a bait when he saw
the lines of his presidential hopes crossed
by the veteran leader of another genera
tion. That the half-hearted support of
Thurman promoted Allens defeat last
year is not doubted, and the Tilden men
of New York aided the election of Hayps
directly, and thus contributed largely to
Democratic discomfiture in both Ohio
and Pensylvania, is but the truth of his.
t >ry. By the overthrow of Allen, the
nephw Thurman believed himself to be
the legitimate successor to the throne ol
Buckeye political favor, and his control
of his State, and his support by the Til
den elements on the home.strech at f St_
Louis, were regarded by intelligent ob.
servers as certain beyond contingencies.
But the old inflation leader bu skied on
his rtisty armor and took the field in
person to defeat his own faithful kins
man, put his enemies to flight and carry
the war into the citadel of his foes. He
discarded ail questions of delicacy, and
attended the State Convention in person f
where he held perpetual levees while
there were delegates to visit his quar
tern, and a body that Thurman claimed
as committed t<f his interest by a decided
majortiy, was transformed into an Allen
mass meeting, and those who went out
to slay the hero of greenbacks came back
shouting his praise.
We do not count either Allen or Thur
man as in the race for St- Louis honors.
The Senator has been defeated in a most
angry contest for the expression of his
State, and he must go to the rear and
Wait for the waves of passiofi to subside.
Allen has nominally carried his State,
but his delegation will be divided, and
behind the delegation will be streariis of
bitterness which must sweep away all
hope of success in the National Conven
tion. With Allen and Thurman as can
didates, therefore there is nothing to
do but to strike there names from the
list of possibilities at St. Louis. Bui
what if their State ? Ohio and Indiana
will vote in October, and they will prac
tically settle tht Preiideotial contest.
If both shall vote Republican in Octo
ber, tbe Cincinnati nominee will be elect,
ted without serious opposition in Novem -
her. If both shall rote Democratic in
October the Cincinnati candidates will
not be within a range of success a month
later, and if Indiana should vote Demo
cratic by any majority and Ohio shall
vote Republican by a small majority as
it did last ye3r the chances would be
ten to one in favor of the St. Louis can
didates in November. Ohio is one of
the two pivotal States in the national
straggle of tbeCenteimial year, and Übe
condition of either pjfrty there is of the
utmost ro ament in estimating the prob
able result of the Presidential contest.
V'ol. 2.
VYe discaid the general convio’ion that
New York is to be the battle ground for
1876. The empire State, with her large
electoral vote, will be no more potential
in deciding the next Presidency than
Rhode Island or J)elewa-e. With all the
pretensions ol New York to command
ing respect in both Coventions, her
vote will be simply an appendage to the
electoral majority that will be given to
■the Republican cr Democratic candi
date. The Presidential eleotiou will be
practically decided a mouth before New
York or Pens) lvania can give any ex
pression of the issue, and both aro cer
tain to be gathered up in the tidal wave
that will be started on its resistless
course in October. The next President
will receive the vote of Indiana, Ohio
and Pensylvania, and New York will
inevitably follow them. The candidate
selected at Cincinnati or Si. Louis most
acceptable to the ruling convictions of
Indiana Ohio and Pensylvania will be
the successor of Grant, and the October
expression in Indiana and Ohio will be
unmistakable in declaring bow the unit
ed electoral vote of the three great cen
tral line States will be cast in Novem
ber. . New York if left to select a Presi
dent herself, might vote for Tilden
against an outside Republican, or for
Conklin against an outside Democart ;
but when she comes to vote next Novem
ter the certainty that Indiana, Ohio and
Pensylvania will vote for the same mam
as shall then be indicated by the Octo
ber vote, will resolve all doubts and
swell all tides in favor of the winning
candidate. It is this omniopotence of
Ohio and Indiana that makes the posi
tion of any party in Ohio of unusual
importance, and that will make St.
Louis look over both Allen and Thurman
to some man who can unite the angry
elements and make a hopeful battle
there. If the discordant Buckeye voices
can he made to unite in huzzas for Hen
dricks or Davis, the nomination will be
likely to go to the Indiana - Governor oi
to the Illinois Judge, but it the Ohio
sores shall spread there irritation over
the West the Democracy will turn to
ward the rising sun to find a deiverer.
ohio is just now the fermenting State
on the Democratic side, and until her
tempest shall be stilled and her necessi
ties defined by tlie sober judgment of
her people, all will be confusion in the
couucils which are to prevail at St.
Louis. Let Ohio heal or hide her
wounds as speedily as possible, and
turn from the battle field of taction to
study the way to victoiy in October, for
October in Ohio and Indiana will fashion
the National vieory of November.
Modern Dictionary.
Water—A clear fluid, once used as a
drink. • '
Honesty—An excellent joke.
Pural Felicity—Potatoes and turnips.
Tongue—A lit tie hero that is contin
ually t unning away.
Dentist- One who finds work for his
own teeth by taking out those ol other
people.
My Dear—‘An expression used by a
man and wife at the commencement of
a quarrel.
Policeman —A man emp'oyed to sleep
in the open air.
Bargain—A ludicrous transaction In
which either party thinks he bas cheated
the other.
Doctor—A man who kills you to-day
to keep you from dying to-morrow.
Another—A dealer in words, who oft
en gets paid off in his own coin.
Friend—A person who will not assist
you before he knows your love will ex
cuse him.
Editor—A poor wretch who empties
his brain in order to fill his stomache.
Wealth—The most respectable quality
of men.
Bonnet—The female head dress for
the front seats of the opera.
Esquire— Every body* yet nobody j
equal to captain.
Jury—. Twelve prisoners in a box to
try one more at the bar.
State's Evidence—A wretch who is
pardoned for being baser than bis com
rades.
Public Abuse—The mud with which |
every traveler is spattered on the road
to destruction.
Modesty—A beautiful flower that
flourishes hi secret places.
Lawyer—A learned gentleman who
rescues your estate from your enemy and
keeps tt himself.
The Grave—An ugly hole in the
ground which lovers and poets wish they
were in but take uncommon means to
keep out of.
Money—The god of the nineteenth
century.
CONYERS. OA., JUNK 8. 1876.
, T, ‘ Clerk ami the Writing School,
i The following con vers ation took place
betwfen an old gentleman and a dry
goods clerk who had been attending the
writing school:
Old gent—‘Good morning.'
Clerk—‘Three.’
Oldgent—‘Have you got any brown
shirting in here ?’
Clerk—‘Uniformity ot slant, relative
; height, and comparative distance.’
Old gent—‘What do you mean by
that ?’
Clerk—‘Small i.’
Old geut—‘Are you crazy ?’
Clerk—‘Relative height of all the
small letters of the alphabet.’
Old gent—‘You must be natural born
fool.’
Clerk—‘Two classes.’
Gld gent—‘l want to know if you
have got any cloth ?’
Clerk—‘g, j, y, f, aud long s.’
OKI gent—‘You are a bigger fool than
you were cut out fer !'
Cleik—‘Small s.'
Old gent—‘lt seems that I have come
to an insane asylum instead of a dry
goods store.’
Clark—‘Four characters—concave and
convex lines; straight liue aud compound
curve.’
Old gent—‘Well, I‘ll tell your propn
etoi to discharge you and hire a man
that‘s got some sense !’
Clerk—An interesting element.’
Old gent —‘Where did you come from
any way ?’
Clerk—‘A connecting element.’
Old geut—‘You have not told me
whether you have any cloth oi - not I’
Clerk—‘For forming the oval.’
Old geut—‘Where is your proprie
tor V
Clerk—‘Curve to tbe right, and left,
and the oval.’
Old gent—‘Thai is not what I asked
you !’
Clerk—‘Parallel to the main line.'
Old gent —‘I have a strong uotion of
knocking you down !’
Clerk—‘Half the length of a letter.’
Old gent—‘l‘ll have you scut to the
Asylum !’
Clerk—‘On the left curve.’
Whereupon the old gentleman walked
away, and the clerk awoke from his ab
sent-mindedness to see that he bad an
swered the wrong questions.
A Robber’s Cave in Spain.
A strange story comes from Spain.
A detachment of soldiers some time ago
disoovsred, in a remarkable secluded
part of a mountain chain, a cavern which
was inhabited by robbers, who had taken
advantage of the civil war in order to
p’y their criminal avocations. An alcove
was attached to this subterranean dwel
png, the door of which the soldiers broke
epen. They were astonished to find the
apartment decently furnished, and pro
vided with books, flowers, and even a
piano. In an easy chair sat a venerable
old man. The soldiers interrogated him
but obtained only Incoherent replies. It
has been ascertained, from the confession
of one ol the robbers, that the old man
was the cashier of a banking firm at
Bergos j that they had broken into the
bank and stolen the safe, and taken the
cashier with in hopes that he
would assist them to open the safe. Dur
ing the retreat, which was marked by
many adventures, the intrepid old man
secreted the safe iu a place where he
would be able to recover it afterward.
When the booty was missed and the rob
bers failed to ascertain the place where
it was concealed, they revived the pro
ceedings of the famous chafleurs by
roasting the feet of their victein in order
to extort a confession, But the inflicted
tortures had a different effect. The man
became insane, and it was with the ob
ject of restoring him to reason that the
robbers bestowed the utmost attention
on him, in the hope that when he re
covered be would reveal 10 them the
place where the safe was concealed-
+ • :
It happened th it Swift, having been
dining some little distance from Lara>
cor, bis residence, was returning borne
on horseback in the evening, which was
very dark. Just before he reached a
neighboring village his horse lost a shoe.
Unwilling to run the risk of laming the
animal by continuing i is ride iu that di
'ection, he stopped at one Kelly’s, the
b'acksmith ot the village, where having
called the man, he asked him it he could
shoe a horse with a candle. *No’ re.
plied the son of vulcan } ‘but I can with
a hammer.’
—
""it is said that silk garments will core
insanity—in women,
.—♦ ♦ -
Tve buried my best friend,’ as the un
dertaker said when he intered the
quack.
Almost too Dutch to Believe.
A Yankee while looting it towards
out west got vAry hard np, and was cu I
gelling his brains to see how he should
make a raise of a little money. Finally
he met a Dutchman who was followed
by a gn at ugly, cowardly dog, and he
entered into conversation with him.
‘Nice dorge you've got there,' said
he.
‘Yaw, ho pees a very fliio tog/
*l*ll bet you a dollar that 1 can tell
what, his name is.’
‘What ish dot ? Audi you infer see
dot tog pofore I
‘No, of course not but I‘ll bet a dollar
I can tell yon what his name is.’
*Py tarn, 1 dakes dot pet,’ said the
Dutchman, eager to make an honest dol
lar!
•Well, call him np here and let me
have a look at him,' said Yank.
‘Here, Fritzy! Fritzy! Come here
arrd't make me von t-ollar,’ said the
Dutchman, calling his dog.
The Yankee patted him on 'the head,
looked him in the eye, and finally forced
open his mouth and looked down his
throat.
‘llls name is Fritzy, said he, with de
liberation.
‘Donder andt blixen !’ Exclaimed the
Dutchman, with open eye aud mouth.
‘Am I not right?’
‘Yaw, py tain, said he, handing over
the wager. Py Jinks, I know not dot
my tog carry his oard town his droat, I
chust choke his tarn neck for him, and
away he marched trying to get a kick at
the poor dog whose name lie had given
away himself.
Half an hour later that Yaukeo was
looking for another victim.
How they Betid the Newspapers.
Undo Ned first hunts up a tunuy
thing, then laughs with a will.
Aunt Sue first reads the stories, then
turns to the marriages,births and deaths.
The labor looks orjly at the ‘wants,’
hoping to find a belter opening for his
business.
Miss Lizzie seeks out new advertise
ments, to ascertain the newest importa
tions in. bonnets aud kids.
Mr. Pleasure Seeker turns to the
amusement column, ar.d decides which
entertainmef t will afford him the great
est enjoyment.
Miss Prim drops a tear—-first over the
marriages, then over the deaths—for,
says she, ‘one is as bad as the other.’
Mr. Political commences with the edi
torial, then scans the telegraph, ending
his perusal with speeches quoted.
Mrs. Prattle more looks to see if there
is any mention of her lasi night's socia
ble, or it her little ‘poem is published.
Mr. Professor slowiy i-xiftniiies the
editorial, its rhetoric, syntax and logic,
then glances at the correspondence, fin
ally returns to his Latin and quickly
forgets what he has read.
Mr. Marvelous looks for the accidents,
murders, inquests and deaths, reads the
court record, and ends with stories in
search of something sensational/
But why extend the list? Eaeh indiw
vidual reads for himself, and if each
does not find a column or more to his
particular taste, the paper is insipid, the
editor lazy and deserving censure.
TlfttWe Tragedy.
The residents of Roseville, Penn , had
a first class sensation last month. A
widower, named Wui. Russell, had form
ed a highly improper intimacy With a
servant girl residing in the house his
I daughter left her home, when public in-,
dignation became so high, that the old
man sent the girl off but afterwards mar
j ried her and brought her back to hi-’
i house. Ilis daugter, in the meantime
became engaged to the son of a former
enemy and privately married him. The
old man heard of it, and while the bride
and groom were breakfasting with a
numb' r of friends, he entered the room,
and attempted to use a knife on his son
in-law. The youug man draw a pistol
aud warned him off; when the
young bride sprang between them the
pistol exploded and she was shot through
the brain. The husband thin put the
pistol to his own head and killed himself.
liussell tainted away and it was after
wards found that he was raving maniac.
After several months he recovered his
senses, discarded his wife and then hung
himself.
Javelle-water, used for turning white
the dirtiest lineh, and removeiug stains,is
composed of bicarbonte of .soda, four
pounds j chloride of lime, one pound
Put the soda into a kettle over the fire,
add one gallon of boiling water, let it
boil from teo to fifteen minuets, then
stir in the chroride of lime, avoiding
lumfs. Use when cool.
Buies of the Billings Family.
Don't swap with you relashuus unions
you kin afford to give them the big end
of the trade.
Marry yung, and if oirkumslances ro
quire it, often.'
Don't take out your tbbaeker in kmn
puny. It will last longer.
If yn knnt git, gut) clothes and edika
shun too, git the clothes.
Say how are yowf tb everybody that
yu mete.
Kulttoirte wmi nwd’tsty-hut yu- mlwd
and keep a good stock ov impudbnee on
hand.
Be charitable—* the nickels were made
on purpose.
IXint take anybody e’se's advice but
your own.
If a man flatters yu,- yu kan kalkulate
he is a rogue, or yu are a f'ule.
Keep both iare open, but don't' see mo
thuv'haf yu nolis. •
Don't mortifi the flesh too nmol), twant
the sores oil Lazxnnis that sent him tew
heaven.
. It yu itch for fame, go inter a grave
yard and skratoh yourself agin a tmne
ston.
Beggars dbirt have to advertize fur
runawa dorgs.
‘’Ti a long lane that never turns,’ and
’tis a imonstrous good mill that nlwiise
due.
Yung man, be more anxious about t*he
pedigree yuT going to leave than yu nr
about the wain suiubody fs-goiug tu leave
yu. .
Nater is nater; yu don't alter the
krook of a dorg‘ tail niueli and beep
the length of it tu.
I would say to every won ov the yung
men ‘go iu,’ and tu lire old tellers ‘kuiii
out.’
About as sure wu to gi't rich as eony
I no of is tu git inter dot fur a bundled
thousand dollars, and then go tu work
and pay jph the det.
Filosofers tell us that the world re
volves on its axes, and Josh Hillings tells
us that fully halt the folks on the earth
are the axes.
N. D.—These.ere proverbs h-v stood
for mor‘n a hundred years, and hain‘t
gone out yet.
What the Wiki Should Be.
An elderly bachelor's a'phabet of
requisites for a wife:
A wife should be
Amiable, affectionate, artless, affable, nc
eouiplished,
Beautiful, benign, benevolent,
Chaste, charitable, civil, constant,
Dutiful, dignified,
Elegant, easy, engaging, entertaining,
Faithful, fond, faultless, free,
Good, graceful, generous, governable,
good humored,
Handsome, harmless, healthy,-heavenly
minded,
Intelligent, interesting, industrious, in
genious.
Just,
Kind,
Lively, liberal, lovely,
Modest, mannerly, merciful,
Neat, notable,
Obedient, obliging,
Pretty, pleasing, peaceable, pure,
Queenly, quiet,
Righteous;
Sociable, submfssive, sensibl",
Temperate, true,
Urban",
Virtuous,
Well-formed, wealthy,
'Xcellent,
Young,
Zealous.
It is remarked ot the female clerks in
the Washington departments that they
might set up an aristocracy of their own,
if they chOoSe. Widows or daughters
of army and navy officers of the highest
rank, daughters and granddaughters ot
former members of the cabinet, senators,
supreme court justices and presidents,
are to be found among them. The
granddaughter ot Thomas Jefferson has
a clerkship. The daughter of Andrew
Jackson Donaldson (adopted son of An
diew Jackson) was bom in the While
House and educated m Berlin, and is
now a clerk in the post office depart
ment- The daughter of Chief Justice
Taney is, or was, a clerk in some govern
ment bureau, and so was the daughter
of Robert J. Walker, formerly secretary
of the treasury.
A mountain is made up ol atoms, and
friendship of little matters, and if the
atoms hold not together, the mountain is
crumbled to dust.
— ( I
Says a country editor i “Who drinks <
all the whisky made in the United States!
is whet staggers us., It is enough to
stagger anybody. |
Grant’s friends are as true as,
steal.
m §igg|g|*
Advertisements,.
Kiwt inertlfln (per inoh'Hpaoo) x..lii*;fll no
E“6. insertion _7§,
,• • , lib( j al discount, aliened those mlver
t't * v !i Kor than throe ui.jimJih.
to thV pSitor. toa C “ n ,K * ' mfl
r,.-w.l NAUhm i;>o. per line fltat insertion
iviul 10c. per line thereafter.
Vi , 1 ' l l e!.- I ' tl Oliitviaru-B, eft-., pul -
llshed free. Announcement*. J7' m ?S#fllce.
NTo. 46.
Looking For fiHilth,
A respectable looking pld gentleman,
'just arrived from the Eastern l Slates, wns
abound town to dwy (vying to find a man
1 named Smith.. There are several mem
bers ot tlm Smith family in Austin, but
the old gen lemun exper eneed some
diflicnliv in finding the exact Smitp he
wanted; ami we art not postTfWb Cht he
has found him' yt. Probably possessed
ot the the somewhat prevalent idler that
boys know everything,the old gentleman
nocosled a boy, and, addressing hiirv as
‘toy sen, asked liihv if lie knew Anybody
in this town by dim unm! of (Smith.
’Smith ?’ said tile boyp ‘which Smith do
you want f Let's see there's Big .Smith
and Little Smiih, Tlnee-lingered Smith,
Mottle-nose Smith, Cock-eye nith, bit
toed, San Joaquin Smith* Lying Smith,
Mush-head Smith, Jumping Smith,
Cherokee Smith, One leggxd Smith,
Fighting Smith, Ked-headed Smith,
Sugar-tool Smith, Bow-legged Smith,
Squaw Smith, Drunken’Snrith, El Dorado
Sinitl, Hungry Smith, and I doh‘t Show
but nwybw one or two more/ ‘My aon,’
said the old man. The Smith I am searth
of posseseec to his-- name now of the
hont'herdsh prefixes you have mentioned.
His name is simply John Smith/
‘All of them - - fellows is named
John !’ soreechpd tile boy, as he drew
his six shooter and ran to the other side
oil l the street to get good sliot at
passing Chinaman. The old' gentlerfihn
mused tor a moment, and then wafkld
into a blacßsfnrtb shop and asked to'iieo a
city directory,—[Austin Reveille.
A P.vruplirase. ,
I'll wait two mouth longer-before I flo
spair. 1 ‘ a , ■> i
Before I sink under my burden of
care. .* A
Htwly cam not last always, there musk
be rest f* I • ,<o
So I'll watch for the daylight and
hope lor the best.
11l wait two mouths longer, tomorrow
may tie, , <s
The bnighest and fairert of morrows
to me r , . , , ¥ -•
The birds may bo singing the blos
soms may start
In bloom and beaaly. Be patient oh !
heart— V . j . , fli
I’ll wait two months longer
give up,
And drink if it may be the dregs pf
the cup, . ~
Still watching, still waiting, still king
ing lor rest,
I’ll wait two months longer and hope
for the best, _ ■'
Tuk Stainkd Window.— Lord Mncatt
ley tells in an English cathedral!
there is arr exquisite stained widow,
which was made by an apprentice out of
the pieces of glass wliieli had been rjact
ed by his master, and it was so far supe
rior io every other in the chwreh, that,,
according to tradition, life envious artist'
killed himself with vexation.
Ail the builders of society had neg
lected ihe sinners, and made the paihted
window of the “righteous, Jesus (Jhrist
took this neglected and rejected material
and out of it made the fairest and bfst
specimens of manhood. Th brightest
star in the moral galaxy—tlm most ex
quisite window in the heavenly temple.
Earth’s outcast* become God’s noble
men and heaven's heirs through redeem
ing grace.—[Christian Voiees,
‘And yon think darling, you could bo
content to share my humble lot bd
live with love and me f queried the bliss
ful lover as he looked fondly ltb her
translucent blue eyes. ‘Why yek pre
cious, you have no idea how ecoiroitiiCal
I mn. Pa give me a hundred do'tSrs
last week to buy anew silk ditss, and I
saved enough out of it to pnfehase four
pairs of six-buttoned kids T The hist
heard ot that young nr,in the doctor hud
ordered him to the Black Hills ftfr dns
health.—[Chicago Journal.]
Tarsi' not to AmuRANCBs—-Ire
Dresden there is art iron egg, th<J history
of which is something like this: A
young prince sent this iron egg to. a
young lady to whom Ire was betrothed.
She received if and in her iodigimtipn
that he should send her such a gift, sfie
cast to Ihe earth. \V lien it touched the
ground a spring ctjjuiinly hidden in the
egg opened, and a silver yolk rolled ont
She touched a secret spring in the yj>lk
igd a golden chicken, and a crown vyas
found within : she touched a soriqg.in
the crown, and in it a diamond jedding
j ring was found.
Theie is a moraj to lids story, ami
that is it will not do to trust to 'appear
ances. 'i'd>a*a+£
An Irishman once ordered ft pafn'er to
draw his picture and represent him stand
ing behind a tret*.