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About Rockdale register. (Conyers, Ga.) 1874-1877 | View Entire Issue (June 8, 1876)
tali Jiiiim SUBSCRIPTION DNE TEAR... .......V.Y. $2 OO MX MONTHS. 1 OO THREE MONTHS..' rj.7. 50 (tyTB RATER / ' FIVE COPIES, or lew than 10, each 1 7ft TEN COPIES, or more, each, 1 50 Tsana —Caah ia advance. No paper aSnfr until money received. All papers itopped at the expiration of time, unless renewed. ( Ulisting. An tweet as the breath that goes From the lips of the white rose, As weird as tbe elfin lights That glimmer of frosty nights. As wild as the winds that tear The curled red leaf in the air, Is the song I have never sung. In slumber, a hundred times I’ve said the enchanted rhymes. Hut ere I open my eyes This ghost of a poem flies; Of the interfluent strains Net sven a note remains : I know by my pulses’ beat Jt was something wild and sweet ind my heart is strangely stirred By an unremembered word 1 I strove, but I strove in vain. To rftcall the lost refrain. On some miraculous day Perhaps in will come and stay; In some unimagined spring I may find my voice, and sing The song I have never sung, —[T. B. Aldrich, in the Atlantic. Ohio And The Presidency. The chaotic condition that Ohio is left in by the cut-throat warfare between Allen and Thurman adds largely to the confusions of counsels abd clash of inter cst which are to be “reconciled at St. Louis, if there is to be a shadow of a chance for the Democratic success in 1876. Ohio was wrested from the Re publicas in 1873 1874, and would have been held against them in 1875, not withstanding the Republican conviction of a decided majority of her poople, had Democracy been equal to the judicious exercise of power, Tut the success of Alien, who was ressurrected from a re tirement that was unbroken for a quarter of a century, aroused the jealously of younger leaders, and the violent depart ure on the currency question was the na tural fruits of desperate individual an tagonisms. The crude inflation platform of 1875 was made to single Allen out from the common herd, and give him a wreath of victory that would command the reverence of all the prostrated and suffering classes of the country. It was not a battle for inflation, nor for the Gubanatorial chair of Ohio, but for the White Ilojjse, and the nephew Senator, who had summoned the uncle to the field in 1873 to save the nephew’s Sen atorial seat, called a bait when he saw the lines of his presidential hopes crossed by the veteran leader of another genera tion. That the half-hearted support of Thurman promoted Allens defeat last year is not doubted, and the Tilden men of New York aided the election of Hayps directly, and thus contributed largely to Democratic discomfiture in both Ohio and Pensylvania, is but the truth of his. t >ry. By the overthrow of Allen, the nephw Thurman believed himself to be the legitimate successor to the throne ol Buckeye political favor, and his control of his State, and his support by the Til den elements on the home.strech at f St_ Louis, were regarded by intelligent ob. servers as certain beyond contingencies. But the old inflation leader bu skied on his rtisty armor and took the field in person to defeat his own faithful kins man, put his enemies to flight and carry the war into the citadel of his foes. He discarded ail questions of delicacy, and attended the State Convention in person f where he held perpetual levees while there were delegates to visit his quar tern, and a body that Thurman claimed as committed t<f his interest by a decided majortiy, was transformed into an Allen mass meeting, and those who went out to slay the hero of greenbacks came back shouting his praise. We do not count either Allen or Thur man as in the race for St- Louis honors. The Senator has been defeated in a most angry contest for the expression of his State, and he must go to the rear and Wait for the waves of passiofi to subside. Allen has nominally carried his State, but his delegation will be divided, and behind the delegation will be streariis of bitterness which must sweep away all hope of success in the National Conven tion. With Allen and Thurman as can didates, therefore there is nothing to do but to strike there names from the list of possibilities at St. Louis. Bui what if their State ? Ohio and Indiana will vote in October, and they will prac tically settle tht Preiideotial contest. If both shall vote Republican in Octo ber, tbe Cincinnati nominee will be elect, ted without serious opposition in Novem - her. If both shall rote Democratic in October the Cincinnati candidates will not be within a range of success a month later, and if Indiana should vote Demo cratic by any majority and Ohio shall vote Republican by a small majority as it did last ye3r the chances would be ten to one in favor of the St. Louis can didates in November. Ohio is one of the two pivotal States in the national straggle of tbeCenteimial year, and Übe condition of either pjfrty there is of the utmost ro ament in estimating the prob able result of the Presidential contest. V'ol. 2. VYe discaid the general convio’ion that New York is to be the battle ground for 1876. The empire State, with her large electoral vote, will be no more potential in deciding the next Presidency than Rhode Island or J)elewa-e. With all the pretensions ol New York to command ing respect in both Coventions, her vote will be simply an appendage to the electoral majority that will be given to ■the Republican cr Democratic candi date. The Presidential eleotiou will be practically decided a mouth before New York or Pens) lvania can give any ex pression of the issue, and both aro cer tain to be gathered up in the tidal wave that will be started on its resistless course in October. The next President will receive the vote of Indiana, Ohio and Pensylvania, and New York will inevitably follow them. The candidate selected at Cincinnati or Si. Louis most acceptable to the ruling convictions of Indiana Ohio and Pensylvania will be the successor of Grant, and the October expression in Indiana and Ohio will be unmistakable in declaring bow the unit ed electoral vote of the three great cen tral line States will be cast in Novem ber. . New York if left to select a Presi dent herself, might vote for Tilden against an outside Republican, or for Conklin against an outside Democart ; but when she comes to vote next Novem ter the certainty that Indiana, Ohio and Pensylvania will vote for the same mam as shall then be indicated by the Octo ber vote, will resolve all doubts and swell all tides in favor of the winning candidate. It is this omniopotence of Ohio and Indiana that makes the posi tion of any party in Ohio of unusual importance, and that will make St. Louis look over both Allen and Thurman to some man who can unite the angry elements and make a hopeful battle there. If the discordant Buckeye voices can he made to unite in huzzas for Hen dricks or Davis, the nomination will be likely to go to the Indiana - Governor oi to the Illinois Judge, but it the Ohio sores shall spread there irritation over the West the Democracy will turn to ward the rising sun to find a deiverer. ohio is just now the fermenting State on the Democratic side, and until her tempest shall be stilled and her necessi ties defined by tlie sober judgment of her people, all will be confusion in the couucils which are to prevail at St. Louis. Let Ohio heal or hide her wounds as speedily as possible, and turn from the battle field of taction to study the way to victoiy in October, for October in Ohio and Indiana will fashion the National vieory of November. Modern Dictionary. Water—A clear fluid, once used as a drink. • ' Honesty—An excellent joke. Pural Felicity—Potatoes and turnips. Tongue—A lit tie hero that is contin ually t unning away. Dentist- One who finds work for his own teeth by taking out those ol other people. My Dear—‘An expression used by a man and wife at the commencement of a quarrel. Policeman —A man emp'oyed to sleep in the open air. Bargain—A ludicrous transaction In which either party thinks he bas cheated the other. Doctor—A man who kills you to-day to keep you from dying to-morrow. Another—A dealer in words, who oft en gets paid off in his own coin. Friend—A person who will not assist you before he knows your love will ex cuse him. Editor—A poor wretch who empties his brain in order to fill his stomache. Wealth—The most respectable quality of men. Bonnet—The female head dress for the front seats of the opera. Esquire— Every body* yet nobody j equal to captain. Jury—. Twelve prisoners in a box to try one more at the bar. State's Evidence—A wretch who is pardoned for being baser than bis com rades. Public Abuse—The mud with which | every traveler is spattered on the road to destruction. Modesty—A beautiful flower that flourishes hi secret places. Lawyer—A learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemy and keeps tt himself. The Grave—An ugly hole in the ground which lovers and poets wish they were in but take uncommon means to keep out of. Money—The god of the nineteenth century. CONYERS. OA., JUNK 8. 1876. , T, ‘ Clerk ami the Writing School, i The following con vers ation took place betwfen an old gentleman and a dry goods clerk who had been attending the writing school: Old gent—‘Good morning.' Clerk—‘Three.’ Oldgent—‘Have you got any brown shirting in here ?’ Clerk—‘Uniformity ot slant, relative ; height, and comparative distance.’ Old gent—‘What do you mean by that ?’ Clerk—‘Small i.’ Old geut—‘Are you crazy ?’ Clerk—‘Relative height of all the small letters of the alphabet.’ Old gent—‘You must be natural born fool.’ Clerk—‘Two classes.’ Gld gent—‘l want to know if you have got any cloth ?’ Clerk—‘g, j, y, f, aud long s.’ OKI gent—‘You are a bigger fool than you were cut out fer !' Cleik—‘Small s.' Old gent—‘lt seems that I have come to an insane asylum instead of a dry goods store.’ Clark—‘Four characters—concave and convex lines; straight liue aud compound curve.’ Old gent—‘Well, I‘ll tell your propn etoi to discharge you and hire a man that‘s got some sense !’ Clerk—An interesting element.’ Old gent —‘Where did you come from any way ?’ Clerk—‘A connecting element.’ Old geut—‘You have not told me whether you have any cloth oi - not I’ Clerk—‘For forming the oval.’ Old geut—‘Where is your proprie tor V Clerk—‘Curve to tbe right, and left, and the oval.’ Old gent—‘Thai is not what I asked you !’ Clerk—‘Parallel to the main line.' Old gent —‘I have a strong uotion of knocking you down !’ Clerk—‘Half the length of a letter.’ Old gent—‘l‘ll have you scut to the Asylum !’ Clerk—‘On the left curve.’ Whereupon the old gentleman walked away, and the clerk awoke from his ab sent-mindedness to see that he bad an swered the wrong questions. A Robber’s Cave in Spain. A strange story comes from Spain. A detachment of soldiers some time ago disoovsred, in a remarkable secluded part of a mountain chain, a cavern which was inhabited by robbers, who had taken advantage of the civil war in order to p’y their criminal avocations. An alcove was attached to this subterranean dwel png, the door of which the soldiers broke epen. They were astonished to find the apartment decently furnished, and pro vided with books, flowers, and even a piano. In an easy chair sat a venerable old man. The soldiers interrogated him but obtained only Incoherent replies. It has been ascertained, from the confession of one ol the robbers, that the old man was the cashier of a banking firm at Bergos j that they had broken into the bank and stolen the safe, and taken the cashier with in hopes that he would assist them to open the safe. Dur ing the retreat, which was marked by many adventures, the intrepid old man secreted the safe iu a place where he would be able to recover it afterward. When the booty was missed and the rob bers failed to ascertain the place where it was concealed, they revived the pro ceedings of the famous chafleurs by roasting the feet of their victein in order to extort a confession, But the inflicted tortures had a different effect. The man became insane, and it was with the ob ject of restoring him to reason that the robbers bestowed the utmost attention on him, in the hope that when he re covered be would reveal 10 them the place where the safe was concealed- + • : It happened th it Swift, having been dining some little distance from Lara> cor, bis residence, was returning borne on horseback in the evening, which was very dark. Just before he reached a neighboring village his horse lost a shoe. Unwilling to run the risk of laming the animal by continuing i is ride iu that di 'ection, he stopped at one Kelly’s, the b'acksmith ot the village, where having called the man, he asked him it he could shoe a horse with a candle. *No’ re. plied the son of vulcan } ‘but I can with a hammer.’ — ""it is said that silk garments will core insanity—in women, .—♦ ♦ - Tve buried my best friend,’ as the un dertaker said when he intered the quack. Almost too Dutch to Believe. A Yankee while looting it towards out west got vAry hard np, and was cu I gelling his brains to see how he should make a raise of a little money. Finally he met a Dutchman who was followed by a gn at ugly, cowardly dog, and he entered into conversation with him. ‘Nice dorge you've got there,' said he. ‘Yaw, ho pees a very fliio tog/ *l*ll bet you a dollar that 1 can tell what, his name is.’ ‘What ish dot ? Audi you infer see dot tog pofore I ‘No, of course not but I‘ll bet a dollar I can tell yon what his name is.’ *Py tarn, 1 dakes dot pet,’ said the Dutchman, eager to make an honest dol lar! •Well, call him np here and let me have a look at him,' said Yank. ‘Here, Fritzy! Fritzy! Come here arrd't make me von t-ollar,’ said the Dutchman, calling his dog. The Yankee patted him on 'the head, looked him in the eye, and finally forced open his mouth and looked down his throat. ‘llls name is Fritzy, said he, with de liberation. ‘Donder andt blixen !’ Exclaimed the Dutchman, with open eye aud mouth. ‘Am I not right?’ ‘Yaw, py tain, said he, handing over the wager. Py Jinks, I know not dot my tog carry his oard town his droat, I chust choke his tarn neck for him, and away he marched trying to get a kick at the poor dog whose name lie had given away himself. Half an hour later that Yaukeo was looking for another victim. How they Betid the Newspapers. Undo Ned first hunts up a tunuy thing, then laughs with a will. Aunt Sue first reads the stories, then turns to the marriages,births and deaths. The labor looks orjly at the ‘wants,’ hoping to find a belter opening for his business. Miss Lizzie seeks out new advertise ments, to ascertain the newest importa tions in. bonnets aud kids. Mr. Pleasure Seeker turns to the amusement column, ar.d decides which entertainmef t will afford him the great est enjoyment. Miss Prim drops a tear—-first over the marriages, then over the deaths—for, says she, ‘one is as bad as the other.’ Mr. Political commences with the edi torial, then scans the telegraph, ending his perusal with speeches quoted. Mrs. Prattle more looks to see if there is any mention of her lasi night's socia ble, or it her little ‘poem is published. Mr. Professor slowiy i-xiftniiies the editorial, its rhetoric, syntax and logic, then glances at the correspondence, fin ally returns to his Latin and quickly forgets what he has read. Mr. Marvelous looks for the accidents, murders, inquests and deaths, reads the court record, and ends with stories in search of something sensational/ But why extend the list? Eaeh indiw vidual reads for himself, and if each does not find a column or more to his particular taste, the paper is insipid, the editor lazy and deserving censure. TlfttWe Tragedy. The residents of Roseville, Penn , had a first class sensation last month. A widower, named Wui. Russell, had form ed a highly improper intimacy With a servant girl residing in the house his I daughter left her home, when public in-, dignation became so high, that the old man sent the girl off but afterwards mar j ried her and brought her back to hi-’ i house. Ilis daugter, in the meantime became engaged to the son of a former enemy and privately married him. The old man heard of it, and while the bride and groom were breakfasting with a numb' r of friends, he entered the room, and attempted to use a knife on his son in-law. The youug man draw a pistol aud warned him off; when the young bride sprang between them the pistol exploded and she was shot through the brain. The husband thin put the pistol to his own head and killed himself. liussell tainted away and it was after wards found that he was raving maniac. After several months he recovered his senses, discarded his wife and then hung himself. Javelle-water, used for turning white the dirtiest lineh, and removeiug stains,is composed of bicarbonte of .soda, four pounds j chloride of lime, one pound Put the soda into a kettle over the fire, add one gallon of boiling water, let it boil from teo to fifteen minuets, then stir in the chroride of lime, avoiding lumfs. Use when cool. Buies of the Billings Family. Don't swap with you relashuus unions you kin afford to give them the big end of the trade. Marry yung, and if oirkumslances ro quire it, often.' Don't take out your tbbaeker in kmn puny. It will last longer. If yn knnt git, gut) clothes and edika shun too, git the clothes. Say how are yowf tb everybody that yu mete. Kulttoirte wmi nwd’tsty-hut yu- mlwd and keep a good stock ov impudbnee on hand. Be charitable—* the nickels were made on purpose. IXint take anybody e’se's advice but your own. If a man flatters yu,- yu kan kalkulate he is a rogue, or yu are a f'ule. Keep both iare open, but don't' see mo thuv'haf yu nolis. • Don't mortifi the flesh too nmol), twant the sores oil Lazxnnis that sent him tew heaven. . It yu itch for fame, go inter a grave yard and skratoh yourself agin a tmne ston. Beggars dbirt have to advertize fur runawa dorgs. ‘’Ti a long lane that never turns,’ and ’tis a imonstrous good mill that nlwiise due. Yung man, be more anxious about t*he pedigree yuT going to leave than yu nr about the wain suiubody fs-goiug tu leave yu. . Nater is nater; yu don't alter the krook of a dorg‘ tail niueli and beep the length of it tu. I would say to every won ov the yung men ‘go iu,’ and tu lire old tellers ‘kuiii out.’ About as sure wu to gi't rich as eony I no of is tu git inter dot fur a bundled thousand dollars, and then go tu work and pay jph the det. Filosofers tell us that the world re volves on its axes, and Josh Hillings tells us that fully halt the folks on the earth are the axes. N. D.—These.ere proverbs h-v stood for mor‘n a hundred years, and hain‘t gone out yet. What the Wiki Should Be. An elderly bachelor's a'phabet of requisites for a wife: A wife should be Amiable, affectionate, artless, affable, nc eouiplished, Beautiful, benign, benevolent, Chaste, charitable, civil, constant, Dutiful, dignified, Elegant, easy, engaging, entertaining, Faithful, fond, faultless, free, Good, graceful, generous, governable, good humored, Handsome, harmless, healthy,-heavenly minded, Intelligent, interesting, industrious, in genious. Just, Kind, Lively, liberal, lovely, Modest, mannerly, merciful, Neat, notable, Obedient, obliging, Pretty, pleasing, peaceable, pure, Queenly, quiet, Righteous; Sociable, submfssive, sensibl", Temperate, true, Urban", Virtuous, Well-formed, wealthy, 'Xcellent, Young, Zealous. It is remarked ot the female clerks in the Washington departments that they might set up an aristocracy of their own, if they chOoSe. Widows or daughters of army and navy officers of the highest rank, daughters and granddaughters ot former members of the cabinet, senators, supreme court justices and presidents, are to be found among them. The granddaughter ot Thomas Jefferson has a clerkship. The daughter of Andrew Jackson Donaldson (adopted son of An diew Jackson) was bom in the While House and educated m Berlin, and is now a clerk in the post office depart ment- The daughter of Chief Justice Taney is, or was, a clerk in some govern ment bureau, and so was the daughter of Robert J. Walker, formerly secretary of the treasury. A mountain is made up ol atoms, and friendship of little matters, and if the atoms hold not together, the mountain is crumbled to dust. — ( I Says a country editor i “Who drinks < all the whisky made in the United States! is whet staggers us., It is enough to stagger anybody. | Grant’s friends are as true as, steal. m §igg|g|* Advertisements,. Kiwt inertlfln (per inoh'Hpaoo) x..lii*;fll no E“6. insertion _7§, ,• • , lib( j al discount, aliened those mlver t't * v !i Kor than throe ui.jimJih. to thV pSitor. toa C “ n ,K * ' mfl r,.-w.l NAUhm i;>o. per line fltat insertion iviul 10c. per line thereafter. Vi , 1 ' l l e!.- I ' tl Oliitviaru-B, eft-., pul - llshed free. Announcement*. J7' m ?S#fllce. NTo. 46. Looking For fiHilth, A respectable looking pld gentleman, 'just arrived from the Eastern l Slates, wns abound town to dwy (vying to find a man 1 named Smith.. There are several mem bers ot tlm Smith family in Austin, but the old gen lemun exper eneed some diflicnliv in finding the exact Smitp he wanted; ami we art not postTfWb Cht he has found him' yt. Probably possessed ot the the somewhat prevalent idler that boys know everything,the old gentleman nocosled a boy, and, addressing hiirv as ‘toy sen, asked liihv if lie knew Anybody in this town by dim unm! of (Smith. ’Smith ?’ said tile boyp ‘which Smith do you want f Let's see there's Big .Smith and Little Smiih, Tlnee-lingered Smith, Mottle-nose Smith, Cock-eye nith, bit toed, San Joaquin Smith* Lying Smith, Mush-head Smith, Jumping Smith, Cherokee Smith, One leggxd Smith, Fighting Smith, Ked-headed Smith, Sugar-tool Smith, Bow-legged Smith, Squaw Smith, Drunken’Snrith, El Dorado Sinitl, Hungry Smith, and I doh‘t Show but nwybw one or two more/ ‘My aon,’ said the old man. The Smith I am searth of posseseec to his-- name now of the hont'herdsh prefixes you have mentioned. His name is simply John Smith/ ‘All of them - - fellows is named John !’ soreechpd tile boy, as he drew his six shooter and ran to the other side oil l the street to get good sliot at passing Chinaman. The old' gentlerfihn mused tor a moment, and then wafkld into a blacßsfnrtb shop and asked to'iieo a city directory,—[Austin Reveille. A P.vruplirase. , I'll wait two mouth longer-before I flo spair. 1 ‘ a , ■> i Before I sink under my burden of care. .* A Htwly cam not last always, there musk be rest f* I • ,<o So I'll watch for the daylight and hope lor the best. 11l wait two mouths longer, tomorrow may tie, , <s The bnighest and fairert of morrows to me r , . , , ¥ -• The birds may bo singing the blos soms may start In bloom and beaaly. Be patient oh ! heart— V . j . , fli I’ll wait two months longer give up, And drink if it may be the dregs pf the cup, . ~ Still watching, still waiting, still king ing lor rest, I’ll wait two months longer and hope for the best, _ ■' Tuk Stainkd Window.— Lord Mncatt ley tells in an English cathedral! there is arr exquisite stained widow, which was made by an apprentice out of the pieces of glass wliieli had been rjact ed by his master, and it was so far supe rior io every other in the chwreh, that,, according to tradition, life envious artist' killed himself with vexation. Ail the builders of society had neg lected ihe sinners, and made the paihted window of the “righteous, Jesus (Jhrist took this neglected and rejected material and out of it made the fairest and bfst specimens of manhood. Th brightest star in the moral galaxy—tlm most ex quisite window in the heavenly temple. Earth’s outcast* become God’s noble men and heaven's heirs through redeem ing grace.—[Christian Voiees, ‘And yon think darling, you could bo content to share my humble lot bd live with love and me f queried the bliss ful lover as he looked fondly ltb her translucent blue eyes. ‘Why yek pre cious, you have no idea how ecoiroitiiCal I mn. Pa give me a hundred do'tSrs last week to buy anew silk ditss, and I saved enough out of it to pnfehase four pairs of six-buttoned kids T The hist heard ot that young nr,in the doctor hud ordered him to the Black Hills ftfr dns health.—[Chicago Journal.] Tarsi' not to AmuRANCBs—-Ire Dresden there is art iron egg, th<J history of which is something like this: A young prince sent this iron egg to. a young lady to whom Ire was betrothed. She received if and in her iodigimtipn that he should send her such a gift, sfie cast to Ihe earth. \V lien it touched the ground a spring ctjjuiinly hidden in the egg opened, and a silver yolk rolled ont She touched a secret spring in the yj>lk igd a golden chicken, and a crown vyas found within : she touched a soriqg.in the crown, and in it a diamond jedding j ring was found. Theie is a moraj to lids story, ami that is it will not do to trust to 'appear ances. 'i'd>a*a+£ An Irishman once ordered ft pafn'er to draw his picture and represent him stand ing behind a tret*.
