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THE REGISTER.
■:— ~ ~ ' —r
CONYEKS.a.Y., THURSDAY °-’ T lf i7fl.
■ 1,, , ■
Why the South is “Solid.”
Wc do net recollect having wen this
cam; mated mo-e pla lily or powerfully
than by the Richmond Dispatch, which
•ay*:
The whole South must, therefore go
en masse against the party that has lost
no opportunity to harass the Southern
people, nnd used eve-v means their in
genuity could invent to curta'l the free
dom oHlm,Southern white man. The
South would be disgraced if it could even
think of voting for its persecutors. it
would deserve the scorn of the civilized
world. True and honest. men cannot
expect (bent to do so. It is only the
liars and villainous hypocrites, such ns
Mutton and his school, that publicly un
dertake to censure the So it It lor doing
that which a community having at all
the principles of honesty and manliness
must he obliged to do. Ordinarily, upon
simple questions of public policy, the
South would be certain to divide ; hut
upon the question of supporting the
Government that afflicts and humiliates
the Soul h, ol ioving its despoilers and
l aters, there should be no division. To
divide on that ia to show to the world
that the South is undeserving of a better
fate.
The Southern accusers are prone to i.i
veigh against the South for electing Con
federates to representative offices. On
this point Professor Hinder, of Cam
bridge (Massachusetts) University, gives
the following complete detenu j in a let
ter addressed by him to the Boston
Daily Advertiser:
‘But I will even go farther, and main
tain that in giving the prominence they
have done to the old rebel element the
Sen h is making use of the only material
out of which it is possible 10 construct a
respectable government. The Confeder
ate soldiers constitute to day the intel
lect and activity ot Unit section, and to
prevent them from taking a controlling
interest iit the udinisistration of the id
fairs of their States is to travest all forms
ot justice and government, ft is in the
political as in the animal world: uu do
not set sheep to guard wolves, nor can
iguoranoe and weakness long keep down
education and strength.’
A Fashionable Woman’s Prayer.
.Strengthen my husband, and may ins
faith and his money ho and out to tiie last.
Draw the lambs’ wool of unsuspicious
twilight over his eyes, that my flirtations
may look to him like victories, and that
my bills may s' rengthen his pride in me.
Bless O, Fortune! my crimps, rats
and frizzles, and let thy light shine on
my paint and powder.
Enable the poor to shift for them
selves, nud save me from all missionary
beggars.
Shed the light ol my countenance on
my camel’s hair shawl, my lavender silk,
my point lace and my set ol d'amonds,
and keep the moths out of my sable, I
beseech thee, O Fortune.
A\ hen I walk out beloro die gnßo or
"vUlgar men regulate my wriggle and add
uew grace to tny gait.
When 1 bow myself to worship, grant
that I may do it with ravishing elegance
and preserve unto the last the lilly white
of my flesh and the taper of my finger l .
Destroy mine enemies with the gall oi
jealousy, and eat with the teeth of envy
all those who gaze at my style.
Save me from wrinkles, and foster my
plumpness.
Fill both my eyes, O Fortune! with
the plaintive poison of intuiuulion, that
I may lay out my victims—the men—as
numb as images graven.
Let the lilly and the roses strive to*,
gather in my cheek, aiul my neck swim
like a goose on the bosom ol crystal
water.
Enable mo, O Forlune! to wear shoo*
still a little smaller, aud save me irom all
corns and bunions.
flics* Fatny, my lap-dog, and rain
down hail stones of destruction upon
those who shall hurt a hair of Hector,
my kitten.
Smile, O Fortune 1 most sweet upon
Dick, my canary, and wat'ih over with
the fondness if a “host my two lil'y
white mice with red eyes,
♦ ♦ • -
A woman in llurliugton. whose litis
band has gone to tlie Centennial ‘on
business,’ tracks a slragling line of inud
across the earbets every evening, piles a
coaple of cigar stumps on the window
sill, chucks an old quid of tobacco part
ly behind the lire board, puts a wot bool
to drip all over the oil cloth, and throws
auother undi r a tola, sets a bowl of yeast
near the chair to inuko the room smell
Jlikti lager beer, and feels just as comfor
'luble and natural and secure as though
itjierc was a mau iu the house.
At a prayer meeting in Maine one of
the members prayed, *Oh, Lord, thou
kno west that Cliarksa Tomkins has sold
poor bests V some of us. Make him do
the tsir thing/
Out iu Moatraa, when they stai t a
man down bill in a barrel, they speak of
b-s 'ajq earnuce iu anew role.’
Why They Don’t Ralty.
A gentleman from the North struck
into a conversation with a negro man at
the depot yesterday.
‘flow does the Republican parly flour
ish down here ?’
‘Well, rah, she’s mighty weak an
sickly, tor n lack, B jks.’
‘l’m sorry for that.’ sad the stranger.
‘Yes, sail ; de public ills has done bin
on de down grade seberal years, an’ de
skedju’.e am kinder gitlin laser and las’er
de finder dat dey go 1’
*Vhy don’t you colored inen rally and
save it, my friend ?’
sGood golly, boss, de cultured popyla
sliun hab got. ter rally an Slbe dere
selves. When de 'publican train hub
got no puivishions on board an' de D,m
inyeralß haz plenty of bnedo ter eat, an'
is alius greasin’ de 'publican track wid
<le meat skins, de niggers lakes mighty
little stock in d:lt train—dat’s sol'
The Northern gentleman saw the ap
plication.—Albany Aryus
- -
The Villagfe Boy.
This is Mark Twain's description of
the happiest boy iu the village: ‘Huck
elberry was alwiys dressed in the east off
clothes of fullgrown men, and they were
in perennial bloom and fluttering with
rags. His hat was a vast ruin, with a
wide orescent lopped out of its brim; his
coat, when lie wore one, hung nearly to
ilia heels, and he had thi rearward but
tons far down the back; but one suspen
der supported his trousers; the seat of
liis ttOnsers bagged low and coht.'tincd
nothing; the fringed legs d' agged in the
dirt when not rolled up. IJuekelberry
came and went at his own free will.
He slept on door steps in fine weather,
ar.d in empty hogsheads in wet; he did
not have logo to srliool or lo clivrch, oi I
ca:l ir>y being master, or obey anybody;]
lie could go fishing or swimming when
or where lie chose and stay as long as it
suited him; nobody ferbade him to fight;
lie could sit up as late as he pleased ; he
was always the firs boy that went bare
foot in t lie spring and the last lo resume
leather in the fall ; lie never had to wash
nor put on clean clothes ; he could swe ti
wonderfully. In i word, everything that
goes to make life precious, that boy
had.’
We have several times urged the oo'-
ored voters oi South Carolina lo support
General Hampton and the Democratic
State and local tickets. We cannot, see
how they can widely do otherwise.
They aie citizens of the State: their wel
fare is involved with that of their white
neighbors. Certainly, if tlity reflect,
they will see that Mr. Chamberlain lias
utterly fail to give the State peace. proa,
polity or good government. General
Hampton, a man ot influence and char
acter, solemnly pledges himself and his
associates ou the Democratic ticket to
give the State honest government and lo
secure to the colored people every right
Wiij should they not take him at his
word? We suspect that many oi them
intend to do so, and that this accounts
lor this last and desperate expedient ol
Chamberlain’s which has been so pronip
vly exposed by members ot his own
parly. — N. Y Herald, Oct. 10.
A Republican manufacturer of Hart
ford, Conn., says: “The only chance to
put a stop to this everlasting war talk
and sectional disturbance is to put in
Tilden, and I’m going to vote for him.”
Gen. McClellan lias slated the whole
Southern case in the words: “Pitta
stop to the meodliag interference of cor
rupt government officials, and it will
soon appear that the negroes will divide
themselves betwe n the two parties, and
that the danger of a conflict of races has
disappeared.”
4 > ——
An eminent Now York physioiau at
tributes much of the prevalence ol dip
therm to the common practice of turning
down the wicks of korosine lamps until
they emit the strong smell of oil.
Mmm
An editor’s excuse lor discontinuing
the publication of his paper was, that
everybody e'se stopped the paper, and
lie thought he would.
•Father,' said a roguish boy, ‘I hope
you won't buy any more gun powerder
tea for mother.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because
every time Bite drinks it she me
P*'
‘Mother, why does pa call joti lion*
ejf
‘Because, my deal, fie loves me.’
‘No, ma, that aint it.’
‘What is it, then 1 '
‘I know.’
‘Well, what is it?'
‘Because you’ve got so much comb in
your head.’
A Western paper has published oue
stausa of sixty-three which had been
contibuted on that rare subject. The
buties of nacher,’ and promised to give
the other sixty-two if its readers desired
to see them. The opening stausa was:
Go see what I have sawn,
Go feel what I have felt,
Walk in the fields at early dawn
Aud smell what I have smelt.
How They Married in ’76.
A hundred years ago a Virginia belle
was not to be won without foolscap and
ret tape. This was the certificate that
the bride had to sign before her lovor
could get a mairagelicenee : ‘The bearer
hereof has my permission to procure
from the authorities the necessary cred
ential, which shall duly and honorably
merit my attention in the support of my
affections, to continue through the end
of all things, which shall reflect every
ray of lienor ascribahle to so resplendent
an element or sentiment or my right
mind, and which sha’l henceforthe be
strictly adhered to in the proper form, at
my instance and his importantly, in the
making valid of all things pertaining to
the stream of my deSife to become his
partner in the vigor ot my youtn, in the
morning of my affections, properly di
rected to the hitttlielltous obligation of
conjugal embraces in endless felicity.
Iu witness to the above, I have hereeun
to,’ etc.
For the six years ending June 30,1875
the total expenditures under President
Grant weie 84,008,488,461,83.
Or at the rate of $668,073,076,97 a
year.
Or at the rate of $53,G7if,75G 41 a
month.
Or at the rate of $13,918,180:10 a
week.
Or at the rule ots 1,088 312,68 a day.
Or at the rate of $82,842,10 an hour
Or at the rat/: of $1,380,70 a minute.
Or at the rate of $23,61 a second.
A teacher, one day 1 , endeavoring to
make a pupil undersiand the nature and
application ot a passive verb, said: “A
passive verb is expressive of the nature
of receiving mi action; as Peter is beaten.
Now what diil Peter dot” “Well,- 1 don’t
know',’ said the boy, pausing a moment,
with the gravest countenance immagiii.-w
ble, ‘without he hallereil,’
Paste. —To make paste which will re
main sweet for a year, dissolve a teaspoon
ml ot alum in a quart of wale 1 , to which
add enough flour to make a thick cream
Stir in halt a teaspoouful of powdered
resin and half a dozen cloves, to g've a
pleasant odor. Take a teacupful of boil
ing water, pour the flour mixture into it
stirring all the time. In a few minutes
it, will be of the consistency of mush.
Pour it into an earthen vessel ; ffe't it
cool, lay a cover on, and put it in a cool
place. When needed, lake out a por
tion and soften it with wann water.
I say, fellow, some ittdividiulls think I
am FrencfcrtMrt, and some take ire for
an Italian, now what do yon think I am?
Why I think you are.a darned foo 1 . re
plied Johnathan.
A Maine woman ate four quarts of
oysters at one sitting, and won one hun
dred dollars by so doing, which after dt
ducting eighty dollars for her burial ex
penses, left her twenty dollars to com
mence the r.e.v*. world with.—
♦ ♦
A Wl cousin farmer sues fora divorce,
on tlie ground that his wife can’t chop
the amount of wood that she boasted
about previous to inarr age.
Byron wrote: ‘llow sweet to hear
the watch dog's honest bark.’ From
which we infer Byron never attended a
midnight sociable in a burner's water
inellon patch.
Grant’s war saddle, upon which lie
rode to the surrender of L*-e, no’v be
longs to the Washburn family, and it is
to be kept lor an heirloom.
‘l'd bet a sheep,’ said o'd Mereditl to
hie belter-half, ‘that our boy Olho is
going crazy; !ur lie’s grinuin’ at the plow,
lie’s grinnin’at the barn, and he's grinniu
to himself whereever he goes.’ ‘Pshaw!
old man,' said his wife’ ‘you don't know
nothin'! The criber'a got a love letter.’
She used to meet him at the gate with
a kiss and a smile like morning light,
but now she comes to the door in a
dingy old calico wrapper, and shoes
down at the heel, shades her eyes with
tier hand, aud in a voice that set-ius to
need oiling, inquires: ‘Did you bring
that butter?’
Republican Campaign Song.'
Sing a song of sixpence,
Pocket full ol cash—
We can fool the uegro _-s
And buy up the white trash.
When electiou’s over,
It we the viet ry gain,
We can get our mouev back
By stealing it again.
Waterloo Observer, Oct. 11.
As soon as she was able to leave her
bed, a Boston wife knocked down her
husbaud with a nursing bottle because
the baby was cross-eyed. As an offset
to this domestic incident, it is proper to
mention here that a Cleveland man whip
ped his wife because the baby did not
lake the first prize at the recent baby
show-.
\ j mil reading, Psyehouiaucy, Fascination
ill Soul Charming, Mosmtrisni, and Marriage
Guide, showing how either sox may fascinate
and gain the love and affections of any person
they choose instantly, 400 pages. By mail 50
oerts. Hunt A 00., 130 S. 7th St., Philadel
phia, Pa. 10-tw
AK A3A per day at heme. Samples worth
\ ! lli \/I I one dollar-free, tin son &Cos
Vw VeJV Portland, Maine. tv©l3 tl
THE
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FOE
COUGHS, COLDS and HOARSENESS,
ANI) ALL THROAT DISEASES,
USB
WELL’S CARBOLIC TABLETS,
l-VT UP ONLY IN BLUE BOXES.
A TRIED AND SURF REMEDY.
Fen- sale by Druggists generally, and
JOHNSON, HOLLOWAY & CO.,
Philadelphia-, Pa.
bTnkrup f"We
OF MILTON GOLD JEWELRY
CHEAT FAILURE OF THE
Milton Gold Jewelry Company, in England.
Their entire etock consigned tons to realize mony
Everybody bas hoard of Milton Gold Jew
elry, it having been sold in this market for
ten years, and worn by the best and richest
class of our papulation Still, it takeß an ex
pert jeweler to discover Milton gold from Vir
gin gold We will send for the ninety days
only the following articles by mail, post paid,
on receipt of 50 cents:
One pair Elegant Sleeve-Buttons, with
Independence Hall engraved, retail
price, SI 00
One set Spiral Shire Studs, retail price... 75
One beautiful Coral Scarf Pin, retail price 75
One elegant Gents' Watch Chain, latest
pattern, retail price 1 50
One Collar Button, retail price, 50
One elegant Wedding Ring, very heavy,
retail price, 2 00
Total $0 50
Remember, we will send you the above
named six articles, which we have retailed fc r
$0 50, by mail, post paid, for 50 cents, or 4:
sample lots for ijtl 50, and lit sample lots
for tflit 00.
Satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded
Address
WILLIAM W. BELL & CO.,
Importers of Watches and Jewelry,
8 North Seventh St„ Philadelphia, Pa,
Please state where you saw this advertise
ment 10-Ain
Psyuhomaney. or Soul Charming.” How
either sex may fascinate and gain the love
A affections of any person they choose instant
ly. This simple, mental acquirement all can
possess, free, by mail, for 25 ,ts, together with
a marriage guide, Egyptian Oracle, Dreams,
Hints to Ladies, Wedding-Night Shirt, Ac. A ;
queer book. Address, T. William A Cos., Pub* j
lishsis, Philadelphia. notl-tw.
IIT - VIP 17 D Agents for the bestselling
VV AJ\ 1 ill 1J Stationery Packages in the
world. It contains 15 sheets of paper, 15 En
velopes, golden Pen, Pen-holder, Pencil, a
ent Yard Measure, and a piece ot Jewejry-
Single package, with pair of elegant U-iu
Stone Sleeve Buttons, post paid, 2uct*. o witli
assorted jewelry for *I.OO. .This package has
beer, examined by the publislie. of the Regis
ter and found as represented -worth the mon
ey. Watches given away to all Ageptf,. Cir
eulrrs free. Bride & Cos., 700 Bioadway, N. Y
Men nr® earning S4O to $l2O per week ! selling
Our Country
ANI> ITS HKSOrItCKS
Complete in the thrilling history of P 0 event
ful years also of the great “Exhibition,
grand in description of our mighty resources
in agriculture, commerce, manufactures, nat
ural wonders, curiosities, etc. all richly illus
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more ugents wanted quickly for this and our
standard “Life of Livingstone,” 00,000 already
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For extra terniH write to Hubbard Bros., l’ub.
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j„ ki, wmm 4 6®,
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' > pg~Metsr“ Zachry $ Orerbay represent its at Conyers, Georgia. r.oll-tf
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1000 ORGANS MADE ERERY MONTH OF THE MOST ELABORATE STYLE 13
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woman’s bust EULENr.
Its operations are quick and sure: and it never fails to cure.
Thankful for the very flattering reception the Female Regulator has met with from * L
tions of the country, the Proprietor begs to announce that he has largely increased lus
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every suffering woman, this, the greatest boon of her sex.
PRICE 1 5 per Bottle.
Sold by all Diugrgists in the United Slates.*®!
L. 11. BRAD FIELD, Atlanta , Georgia, Proprietor.
READ! KE\D!!
It is well known to doctors and ladies that women are subject to enormous disease,- .U ,
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Blooming in all her Prist, e Beauty, health, strength and elasticity. Dried do -tor a f' e ' r _
Rutledge,Ga.,February I>. ,
This is to certify that my wife was an invalid for six years Had disease of the /. d ,. M
headache, weight in lower part of the back ; suffered from languor, exhaustion ana -
less, loss of appetite and flesh. She had become so exhausted and weak, her ____
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ward you as her savior from the dark portals of death, —and my benefactor.
ow never grow less, and you never become weary in well-doing. JOHN '
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i A FARM MID HffiEJF YCI 01.
NOW 18 THE TIME TO SECUIIE IT !
The best md cheapest lands in market, nr
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j The most favorable terms given, and very
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!
FREE PASSES TO LAND BUYERS.
Maps, descriptive pamphlets, new edition of
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Address, 0..F. DAVIS,
Land Comin’r, U. P. R. R. Omaha, Neh.
A gouts wanted for the new Historical Work
Our Western Dortler*
A complete Graphic History of American Pio
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conflicts of red and white foes. Exciting Ad
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