Newspaper Page Text
VOL# 3#
Maiden’s Leap Year Psalm of
L’fe.
'fell WO toot in idle jingle
"Marriage is au *rtlo dream !”
the girl is dead that’s single,
Aad girls are not what they seem.
l ife is real! Life is earnest!
Single blessedness a fib!
•‘Man thou art—to man returnest !”
lias been spoken ol the rib.
Life is long and youth is fleeting,
And cur hearts, though light and gay,
Still like pleasant drums are beating
Wedding marches on the way.
Lives of married folks remind us
|L We can live our lives as well,
And departing, leave behind us
Such examples as shall “toll’’—
Such examples that another,
Wasting time in idle sport —
A forlorn, unmarried brother
Seeing, shall lake heart, and court.
Nouns of Multitude.
A little girl was near the picture of a
number of ships, w hen she exclaimed,
See what a flock of ships!’ We cor
rected Iter by saying that a flock of ships
was called a fleet, and. a fleet of sheep
sag called a flock. And hera we may
add, for the benefit of the foreigner who
is mastering the intricacies of our lan
guage in respect to nouns of multitude,
that a (lock of girls is called a bevy, and
a bevj of wolves is called a pack, and a
jack of thieves is called a gang, and a
gang of angils is called a host, and a
host ot porpoises is called a shoal, and a
shoal of buffaloes is called a troop, and a
troop of partridges is called a covey,
and a covey ot beauties is called a gal
axy, and a galaxy of ruffians is called a
horde, and a horde ot rubbish is called a
heap, aud a heap of oxen is called a
drove, and a drove ot blackguards is
tailed a mob, and a mob of whales is
tailed a school, and a school of worship
peri is called a congragalion, and a con
gregation of engineers is called a corps,
and a corps of robbers is called a band,
and a hand of locusts is called a swarm,
and a swarm of people is called a crowd,
ami a crowd of gentle folks is called the
elite, and the elite ot the city's thieves
and rx cals are called roughs, and a mis
cellaneous crowd of city folks is called
ibe community or the public, accordingly
as they are spoken ot by the religious
community or tlie secular public.
A Few Southern Tacts.
Alabama and Tennessee manufacture
iiiore iron than any of the southern
"tales east of the Mississippi. Tennes
see lias about 1,700 miles of water navi
gation, and about 1,300 miles of railway
transportation. Tennessee has more ex
tensive coal fields than any state in the
Union, Pennsylvania excepted. Tenues
see produces profitably a greater variety
of crops than any state in the Union.
Georgia, Alabama or Tennessee have
mure extensive deposits and beds of iron
linn any of the slates of the American
1 nion. None excepted. Teunesseee
lias mote extensive beds of marble of
greater variety of co or than any state in
'he Union. The copper deposits in Ten
uessee are more extensive and valuable
•han those of any other section in Amer
ica.
Money in a Hollow Tree.
A month ago, perhaps, a man by the
name ot Jeffries, in company with his
htnily | was out in I lie woods hunting
nuts, at Palmyra, Missouri, when one ot
'f'e girls saw something that attracted
f"'r attention in a hollow tree, and called
lo her mother to come and look at it.
Mrs. Jeffries made some examination,
*nd soon found it to be an old paint keg.
Lpou taking it out, there was found
within it an earthen jar containing $583
S°id and silver. They did not know
w hat to do about it ; but concluded to
W P d u iet and wait tor developments,
lowever, some ot the children mention
0 it at school, and thence it came to the
oars ot Isaac and Jacob Johnson, who
>V ne once to see Jeffries, and soon
j'd him that the treasure belong
.*•) to jj u ’d that they had hid it
ithere .^ e Porter*’? raid into
Palmyra i„ }S72, jading rl they
* l,l "°t go to 'ook ,for i,t fof time
a "d when they 4-4 v.epc enable
i° hud the place of its oonoeqbyeptj pay
th<? y ever been able to find it *pce.
e keg had baen pushed bp it)to the
•follow of tree an J p ro pp. ;( J op i,y a
’flttoh, t 4 the course of the four
teen y e?V¥ eipcp elapsed, rotted off apd
the treasure gown, and thus it was
’ ,ou '“i by accent. The Johnsons made
“ Present of to the Hub? girl wlio
’ho will say it jyas not
khwp enough, } '
®te JifliHtldk’ ißcgtslrr,
He Couldn’t Linger. •
A great many strapped printers are on
the road now, and scarcely a day passes
hut one or more ot them strikes us for a
job. Those from the West say that bus
iness is dull in all the towns out there,
and those coming from the East have
the same tale of hard times to tell about
the eountiy they have passed through.
One of them limped into the office the
other day, and propounded the old, old
question :
‘How’s work V
‘First rate,’ said one of the proprie
tors ; ‘never was better.'
‘l'd like to get in enough to "get me
something to eat,' said the tramp, as he
gulled his coat down over one shoul
der.
•More work here than we know what
to do with,’ continued the proprietor.
‘Well, that’s what I'm atter,' said the
tramp, as lie threw the other shoulder in
view.
‘But’—and the tones of the boss were
as sad and plaintive as the moan of a
lost child—‘there’s no money.’
Like a startled mud turtle ‘juking,
into its shell, that printer shot back into
his voat, and a sigh—, ly of regret,
somewhat of rebel—escaped him. lie
was sorry to be disappointed, and glad
that he had been made acquainted with
the situation before he |had wasted any
ot his energies in any uncompensating
labor.
‘lf you ain't got any money, bow do
you pay your hands T’ he asked glancing
around at the hoys, who were pulling
out with as much energy as if they were
working in a silvei mine.
‘We pay them in real estate and town
lots, sir,’ replied the boss who happened
to be in a communicative humor. ‘My
partner and 1 run the paper, not as a
money making institution, hut as a me
dium through which to disj ose ot a
quantity of land which we could not get
off our hands in any other manner.
When we find a printer who is willing
to work, and lake his pay in the tree son
of Missouri, we employ him; other'vise,
uotsoever.
The tramp looked puzzled and dis
tressed, but sail! :
>1 don’t care about settling down just
now and becoming a landed proprietor.
I'm poor enough already. 1 don’t want
any mote ot this country than 1 can
conveniently carry around with me. I m
100 teeble to grow up with any consider-,
able amount of it. Good day, sir.
‘Hold on,’ said the proprietor. ‘Don’t
tear yourself away from a bon mza tie
fore von are acquainted with its resour
ces. There is an opportunity ofteied
you to acquire distinction, if not wealth.
Do you see that young tellow over there
by the window V
‘The one with a far-away, vacant look
in liis mild blue eyes ?’
‘Yes. Well, that young man has just
about completed Ins apprenticeship, and
I’ve made him out a deed to one hundred
town lots in consideration of his services.
You can see them from the window.
Half of them are on the bar and the
other half in the liver, hut they will be
valuable in a century or two. The press
man owns half that bar, and the jours
can each point with pride to the mighty
Missouri, and say it rolls and surges over
their posssessions, guarding and enrich
ing them. You see that man over in
C*
the corner V
That long, sad, consumptive looking
being V *
‘Yes. Speak low. I gave him a deed
for one thousand acres ot land, in pay
ment for three years' work. It was
swamp land, in Linn county, and be has
just returned from a visit to it. lie is
working this week for a lot iu the ceme
tery. His place will soon be vacant, and
you may have it on the same tetms, it
yon like.’
The tramp moved uneasily about and
finally went to the window and gazed
out over the town. Presently he called
the proprietor to him and said :
‘I haven’t long to tarry. Something
seems to call and beckon me away. Hut
I don’t mind working a couple of hours
for that corner lot over there the one
with a saloon on it.
‘l’m truly sorry,’ said the boss, ‘but I
that lot last week to the boy who
carries capers- Theie’s a lot right back
of if, with a nice cellar on -would not
Ah# suit you ?’
‘No, l believe not, I guess 1 can t lin
ger with you, however much as I m.g .
desire U>. J have a presentment that I
am not long for this world, and I fain
would lay my childhood- Farewell, old
man- Your kindness bis moved me.
I’m homeward bound.
He bounded down stairs, and eoutmu-
Jed his journey into the East.— f J ?
CONYERS, OA., THURSDAY, JANUARY IN, 1N77.
A Quaker to His Watchmaker.
I herewith send send my pocket clock,
which greatly stamleth in need of thy
friendly correction. The last timu he
was at thy school lie was in nowise re
formed, i'or in the least beneflttcd there
by ; for I perceive by the index ot his
mind that he is a liar, and the truth is
not in him ; that his motions are irregu
lar and wavering; that his pulse is some
what slow, which betokeneth not an ;
even temper ; at other limes it waxeth
sluggish, notwithstanding I frequently
urge him; when he should be on his
duty, as thou knowest his name denoteth,
I find him slumbering, or, as the vanity
ot human reascii phrases it, I catch him
napping. Examine him, therefore, aud
| prove him, I beseech, thee, thoroughly,
that thou mayest, being web acquainted
with his inward frame aud disposition,
draw him from the error of his way, and
show him the path wherein tie should
go. It grieves me to think, and when I
ponder thereon I am verily ot the opin
ion that he is tout, end that the whole
mass is corruption. Cleanse him, there*
lore, with thy charming medicine, from
all pollution, that he may vibrate and
circulate according to truth. I will
place him for a few days under thy car™,
and pay for his board as thou requirest.
I entreat thee, friend John, to demean
thyself on this occasion with judgment,
according to the gitt which is in thee,
and i rove thyself to be a workman.
And when thou layest thy correcting
baud on' him, let i* be without passion,
lest thou should drive him to destruction;
Do thou regulate his motion tor a time
to come, by the motion of light that
rulelh the day, and when thou findest
I him converted from the error of his
ways, and more conformable to the above
mentioned rules, then do thou send him
home with a just bill of the charge
drawn out with moderation, and it shall
bt sent to tiiee in the root of all evil
Curious Origin of Words.
The derivation ot many words in com
moil me io euirous. Probably few have
an idea w hence comes the word ‘‘tram
way, 0 by which the English denote a
horse car iraek. It is derived from the
second syllable ot the name Outram.
The ancestor of sir James Outram, a very
distinguished general who died a few
years ago, took a leading part in_ exten
ding horse railroads tor drawing coal,
etc,, and las roads were called Outram
ways, and gradually the first syllable
was dropped. Another curious deriva
tion is that of the word “ wallop,” mean
ing to beat “I’ll wallop you,” is still a
frequent expression in rnal England. It
arises from a complete naval victory of
admiral Wallop, a member of the very
ancient family of which the earl of Port
smonth—who also has the honor to rep
resent Sir Isaac Newton—is now the
head.
Chedell refuses to marry until he can
be sure of crowding all the true happi
ness of manage life into one wek. His
idea is to marry an heiress or. Monday,
have a son and heir on Tuesday, see him
baptised on Wednesday, have his mother
-in law die on Tuesday, take out letters
ol administration on Friday, hnry the
old lady on Saturday, and on Sunday
take possession of the fortune. A belter
plan is to let the mother-in law depart
tor paradise before marrying the heir
ess.
A gentleman had a hoard put up on
a part of his land on which was written:
‘I will give this field to any one who is
really contented I’and when an applicant
came he asked, ‘Are you contented V
The general answer was, ‘I am;’ and his
reply invariably was, ‘Then what do you
want with my field V
The following is the answer of a newly
married man to the invitation of.a Philu
delphia friend, wished him to visit the
Centenial ; You are ve'-y kind, hut since
I married and became familiar with the
injsteries ofa woman’s wardrobe, variety
shows have lost their charm for me.’
One San Francisco paper, in the morn -
ing, reported the death ot a deaf and
dumb girl. Its evening rival, not to be
cutdone, gaye her last words.
Two years ago a dying wife in lowa
named her successor, set the wedding day,
and her widowered husband ami the
nominee have just been married.
At the recent session of the North
Georgia Conference a glass of milk punch
was placed before one ot the ministers
who was known to be a lifelong tee-to
taller. The good man swallowed the
punch, smacked his lips and sail, “Lord
what a cow!”
Stick to Your Business.
There is nothing which should be
more frequently impressed on the minds
ot the young men than the importance
ot pursuing someone business. The
frequent changing froni one employment
to another is one ot the common errors
committed, and to it may be triced
more than omvha't the failures ot men
in business, and much of the discontent
and disappointment wlich render life
uncomfortable. It is a very common
tlii'tg for a man to become dissatisfied
with his business and to desire to change
his business tor some other, which, it
seuns to him, will prove a Jinore lucra
tive cmp’oymenl; bu- in nine cases out
of ten it is a mistake. Look around you
and you will find abundant verification
of our assertion. There is nn honest
farmer who has toiled a few years, got
his farm paid lor, but does uot grow
rich very rapidly, ps much for lack of
contentment mingled with industry ns
anything, lie is nol aware of it. lie
hears the wondeiful stories of California,
and how fortunes may be had for the
trouble of picking them up; mortgages
his farm to raise mom y, goes away to
the land ot gold, and, after tinny months
of hard toil, comes home to commence
again at the bottom of the t ill for a
more weary and less successful climb
ing up again. Mark the men in every
community who arc notorious for ability
and equally notorious for never getting
ahead. You will find them to be those
who never.stiek to any one business long
but are always forsaking their occupa
tion just when it begins to be profita
ble.—[Scientific American.
The Bare Trick of an Indian Con
jurer-
“lgnoramus,” writing to the London
Times from Amblesideon the Slade ease,
describes a trick which, when command
ing at the fort of Attock, on the Indus,
in 1301, he saw practiced by an Indian
conjurer. On the mess-taole, on which
the cloth was still spread, this man
placed a rupee at one corner and the
imrratoi’s signet-ring at the other. Then
lie repeated a prayer, played on an in.
strument, and the ring, “with a vibrato
ry motion, keeping time to the music,
moved along the diagonol until it reach
ed the rnoee, which it clawed—l can
describe it by no other woid—and
.brought hack to its cwn corner.” 'Ahe
conjurer declined to sell his secret,
ll the affair happened just as it told,
it is surely as likely that the mail was
wliat is now called a “med’Utn”—what
ever that may he—as that he had any
mechanical secret for making a ling
dance and “claw,” without any visible
link between him ami it. His recitation
of a prayer might either have keen done
to impose upon others, or from his own
prolound belief in the existence of some
unrecognized quality in himself. Hut it
is as idle to try ard conjecture the ex
planation ot anonymous stories referring
to a distant date, as to credit with any
unusual power persons who will not give
the only sufficient test in their power
that they are not merejugglers.
Economy on the Farm.
Economy in all things is as commend
able in the manager as it is beneficial
and desirable to the employer ; and, on
a farm, it shows itself in nothing more
evidently or essentially, than in not suff
ering the provender to be wasted, but,
on the contrary, in taking care that ev
ery atom ot it be used to the best adi
vantage : and. likewise, in not permit
ting the plows, harness and other im
plements of husbandry, and the gears
belonging to them to he unnecessary ex
pressed, trodden under toot, run, over by
carts and abused in respects. More
good is derived from attending to the
minutiae ot a farm than strikes people
at first view, and examining the farm
yard fences and locking into the fields to
see tlirt nothing is there but what is
al'owed to be there, oftentimes is the
means ot producing much good, or at
least of avoiding much evil.—[George
VY ashington.
A Lexington man went home the other
night and found the house locked up.
Getting iu at the window with much dif
ficulty, he found on the table a note from
his wife, saying, “1 have gone out to
spend the evening. You will find the
door key under the door step.”
... ii ■ •
When you enter or leave a room, be
careful to leave the door open. There is
noibing like ventilation—and besides
there is no better way to find out wheth
er the owner is t* good Christaiu or a
piofane monster.
Money one Hundred 1 ears Ago.
One hundred fears ago, students at Har
vard College paid their tuition with live- ,
stock m.d piovisions. The currency I
ot the Pilgrim* was the first issue ot pa- (
per money in ill's country. During the |
war of Queen Anne, a paper currency j
was established, known as Queen Anne's
war currency, which soon became worth
less. In 1765, Virginia issued a paper
currency, previous to which the clergy
were paid In tobacco. In 1715, Jolm
Coleman established a bank in Massa
chusetts, with land for capital, and be
gun the issue of loans. Other colonies
followed and the amount of loans by the
colonus finally reached to millions, which
the mother country paid off at reduced
rates to save the credit of the co'onies.
In 1775, Congress issued paper money
to the amount of $800,001), to be re
deemed in three years in coin. The
colonies or States also issued paper mon
ey, and soon the whole volume of State
and National currency amounted to $12,-
000,000. This money was taken with
out much question ut fits), and those
who refused it were stigmatized as un
patriotic; but in the following year it
begun to decline, ami in 1780, it was
worth almost nothing. A barber-shop
iu Philadelphia was plastered all over
with Continental money, and dogs were
tarred, stuck ' ver with the same shin
plasters and let cut to run the streets
tor the public amusement. To Itoberl
Morris is due the salvation of the Revo
lutionary army. lie lent his private
fortune and credit to the government,
and when all his money was gone and
his credit had teen liberally used, Wash
ington said lie must laise more mon*>y
to carry out a war ineasuie, the perfec
tion ol which only waited for the money-
Moiris, therefore, issued his own notes
for $1,400,000. Washington gained
the battle of York town, and Cornwallis
surrendered, Every one of these Morris
notes were subsequently redeemed. In
1782, the Hank ot Nor'li America was]
established at Philadelphia, with a cup- i
itai ot $400,000. This was the first
hank of the National Government 1 The
date ot the first silver coinage was I
and of the fir-t gold coinage 1794.
Amusing Advertisements.
The following are some oddities in ad
vert-ising, compiled by an exchange :
Two young women want washing.
Teeth extracted with great pains.
Babies takfii and finished in ten min
uies by a country photographer.
The next appeared in a London news
paper tinder the head of ‘For Sale’:
Pianolorte—cottage—seven octaves —
the property of a lady leaving England
iu a remarkably elegant case on beauti
fully carved h'gs.
And what does this mean ?
Business Chance.—To be disposed of
—genuine fried fish business at the West
End.
Does the genuineness apply to the fish,
ihe business, or to the way in which
they are lried ?
And one’s inind gets hopeless'y dazed
over the advertisement offering a large
reward for A large Spanish blue gentle
man's cloak, lost in the neighborhood ot
the maiket.
There are others deliciously inconse
quent, like the advertisement of a runa
way, which furnished this valuable hint
for identification:
Age is not precisely known, hut looks
older than he is.
Or the notice of fi shoemaker put on
his door:
Shall be hack in ten days from the
time you see this shingle.
Some, however, leave uo loophole for
doubt:
Babies, after taking one bottle of my
sootiiing syrup, will never cry any more.
Somebody says editors are poor, where
upon a Yankee paper says: ‘Uumhng.
Here we are, editors of a country ueews
paper, fairly lolling iu wealth. We have
a good office, a pastepot, a double-barrel
gun, two suits of clothes, three kittens,
a Newfoundland pup, two watches, three
day and two night shirts, carpets on the
floors, a pretty wife, nienty cents iu cash
are out of debt, and have no rich relati.
ves. If we are not wealthy, it is a
I'i'y-
When three good little boys get to
gether of an afternoon, the. chances are
that there will be either a win
dow broken, or some stay dog will have
a pan tied to bis tail.
■ i
- Republican journals aro making
sport of the prominent nose of Elector
Cronin. A man doesn’t amount to much
iu their lines unites it is his cheeks that j
is prominent. j
It you would keep from drinking so
great a quantity of ardent spirit#, eat.
Eat more. Eat nutritious food. Kat
something whenever you take n drink.
The drunk in all cases comes from the
stomach lull of whiskey and no food.
There is a simple lesson yet to be learned
by many, and that is thry do not eat
enough of real blood, bo: e, n nr* amt
tissue making food. You may half
starve to death on nolt-fis*', potato**,,
cabbage, turnips, tried liver, slewed kid
ney, and a score of otlu r dishes wlncn
please the taste, but add little i-r noth
ing to (he body tonce. Eggs, ike beat
of steak, milfoil, and bread are what one
requires tor strength. It is this tinoon-
Nuious, ha t-starved eondi iou whi la
causes so much craving fora t-inponry
increase of Strength, and that is quick
est gaiued through a g’ass of whiskey.
That, gives for a lew moments a spas
modic impulse to the wheels of life, sen
ding them w hizzing and spinning around
for a few moments; then come# reaction
and they turn more sluggishly than evez
The best spirits iu the world reside in.
good blood, the worst in bad. It is
that which sends false inioginntions,
suspicions, and despondencies to the
brain,
■ - ■■ * • ■■■■-
I uteri sting experiments are being
made at the Central telegraphic bureau
in Paris with n new- apparatus tor produ
cing a tac simile of the writing and aig
nature ot :in individual sending a dis
patch. The apparatus also produce
with great exactness, drawings of th#
most complicated description. The in
ventor is Mr. Lemor. Home year* ago
similar trials were mnde with the inven
tion ot a Mr. Cnselli, but tbe results were
imperfect.
If you marry, said a Roman consul to*
liis son, let it be to a woman who ha*
judgement enough to superintend the
getting of a meal of* victuals,
taste enough to drvss horse f, pride
enough to wash before breakfast, and
sense to hold hertongue when sits has
-nothitig to say,
Gen. Wado Hampton, of South Caro
lina, is fifty-six years of age and says he
was ellected Governor and intends to be-
Governor.
- ♦ ■ '
The man who will abandon a friend 1
for an error, knows but little ot human
character, and shows that his heart is as
his mind is week,
A man in England has taken on* a
patent for paper bed blankets, person
ought to feel comfortable under a quill
ot Congressional Globes, with a spread
of patent office reports, and an extra
thickness of statistics the feet.
An Irish emigrant, hearing the sun
set gun at New York, asked a sailor;
‘What’s that V ‘Why* that's sunset,'
was the reply. ‘Sunset!’ said Fat. ‘And
does the sun go down in Amerika with
such abang as that T’
‘Look here boy,’ said a uervous gentle
man to a lad munching candy at a lecture
‘you are annying me very much.’ No I
ain’t neither,’ said the youngsters ‘l’m
gnawing this 'ere stick of candy.’
These who come to you to talk obont
others aro the cries who go to others to
talk about you.
—— •— —— — ■
A lecturer in Missouri, whose subject
was ‘The Physical Dog neracy of
Woman,’ quarrelled with liis breakfast
last Wednesday morning, and had hia
nose spread over his right eye by the
landlady.
At a oamp.meeting last summer, a
venerable sister began t’e hymn—
‘My son ho on ihy guard,
Ten thousand toes arise.'
She began in shrill quavers, but it was
pitched too high. ‘Ten thousand —-Ten
thousand,’ she screeched, and stopped.
‘Start her at 5,000 !’ cried a converted
auctioneer w ho wa- present.
‘Handsome is as handsome does,' said
a Ctdoago man to his wife. ‘Yes,’ she
replied, in a winning lone, ‘tor instance,
a husband who is always ready to hand
some money to his w ife.’
Scene : Room of Louisiana investi
gating committee. Republican Con
gressman—‘What effect did the outrages
of bulldozers have 011 the couutrj ; did
they not demoralize the country and cre
ate lawlessness and riot f itnesa—r
‘Don’t know ’bout that, sir. All I seed
is that we kin raise hogs in Felicias*
now, an’ we couldn’t before the regular
tors ’started.’ B- 0. (swallowing his
emotion with a fereat gulp)—‘You can
stand aside.’ (The curtain falls.)
Leap year iA gone and many a pocr,
devil is left to shiver alone
NO. ‘ll.