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Our Ilrcakfusls.
The American’s breakfast bill of faro
is varied but little: beefsteak, fried or
halted potatoes, griddle cakes with Hyrup,
or hot muffins and biscuit, are the arti
cles lie sighs for and will have, dcHpitotlie
threatenings of dyspepsia. Across the
water, they shudder at the American
breakfast, while they discuss their
chocolate, dolieate rolls, soft-boiled
eggs and fruit, with appetite. To those
accustomed to more hearty food, itseemn
at first sight as if it would ho impossible
to accomplish the work or half tho day
upon a break last of rolls, eggs, and
chocolate; yet after ono has become ac
customed to the habit, it is difficult to
partake of a more substantial meal early
111 the day without discomfort. And
surely a breakfast of chocolate, rolls—
fresh baked, but not hot —oatmeal, eggs
and fruit, is fit for a king. It is varied,
nutritious, delicate, and easy to digest,
and it contains nothing fried. If we
could only banish the saucepan’s con
tents from our breakfast-table, and tiring
up our Children equally to dread Satan
and slum fb'at which is fried! How many
little ones in this free laud, after cheer
fully munching their crisp, grqasy pota
toes, and hot fried pork or beefsteak,
enter the school-room to fall into all kinds
of trouble. Their brains are disorgan
ized by the indigestible food they have
eaten. If wo should feed them upon
milk, oatmeal, and such nourishing
things in the morning, with plenty of
rare, broiled beefsteak at noon, they
might not develop immediate! yin to little
angels, perhaps, but they certainly would
have rosier cheeks and brighter minds.
Tim question of wliat one shall eat is in
exhaustible, however, and every ono has
a different opinion concerning it. It is
the business of the housewife to know
something about the subject from a
chemical standpoint, and to regulate the
dinners of her family so that they may
not only bo palatable but healthful.
Pies, puddings, rich pastry of all kinds,
in fact, should always be tabooed in a
family where there are no children; but
after these arc denied a diet may be pre
scribed which is at once wholesome and
apprizing. There is a great deal in the
manner of preparing food to render it
harmless. For instance, the oyster,
either broiled, stewed, or raw, is the
most easily digested of edibles; but fried,
it stands revealed as the father of night
mares. Yet, such is the contrariness of
human nature, most people prefer it
fried ! Few of us can resist a dish of
crisp, smoking oysters thus prepared,
even at breakfast time, though it be
much more virtuous to eat a buttered
roll. An unruly appetite leads us into
all manner of troubles.
The Champion Liar.
The most abled-bodied liar on this
continent is now on the staff of the San
Francisco Chronicle, and that paper is
justly proud of liis brilliant mendacity.
Gifted as others have been in this line,
the ’Frisco man discounts them all and
gives them as many points as they wish
at the beginning of the game. His gen
ius in this respect is probably the result
oi the “glorious climate of California,”
ably, seconded by that training which
only Chicago or Han Francisco can give.
His most imposing and massive false
hoods are always in the medical line. A
while ago he gave an accout of a physi
cian who removed a condemned criminal’s
brain, piece by piece. The top of the
unfortunate culprit’s head would lift off
like a lid, so that any inquisitive person
could gaze at the empty shell. To do
the doctor justice it must be admitted
llwt ho kept the scooped-out head tilled
with cotton, so that the brainless man
could not catch cold. No doubt Califor
nia is so accustomed to see men without
brains that this story passed current
there. This man, wo presume, is now
an estimable citizen of Han Francisco,
going around with a lump of cotton in
stead of brains. Again, tin's chronicler
wrote of a physician who fixed up a bath
that would froezo solid in *u instant, by
touching an electric knot). By mistake
{JIO physicifiii iiito tliG until, sorri©
one touched ctie knob, and in a moment
the do c^' 1 ' was ready to be loaded on an
ice ” agon. The latest yarn appeared
.list week. Barney McGee, probably a
descendant of the “Bouncing Barney
McGee” celebrated in an old Irish song,
drove a street ear till he got a disease
that softened all his bonos. Barney was
about to collapse when Dr. Bishop took
him in hand and ossified Mr. McGee on
the outside. He procured bone material
at the stock yards and covered Barney
with a shell—in fact, made a human oys
ter of him. Barney lias no bones inside,
but bis outside shell prevents collapse
and although lie is a little stiff in his
manner he gets along all right. —Detroit
Free Press.
Aii Episcopalian Horse.
The Rev. Dr. Broadus, an old Baptist
parson famous in Virginia, once visited
u plantation where the darky who met
him at the gate asked him which barn
he would have his horse put in.
“Have you two barnsV” asked the
doctor.
“Yes, sah,” replied the darky;
“dar’s do ole barn, and Mas’r Wales has
jes build anew one.”
“Where do you usually put the
horses of clergymen who come to see
your master ?”
“Well, sah, if dey’s Methodis’s or
Baptis's, we gen’ally put ’em in de ole
barn, but if dey’s ’Piseopals wo puts
'em in de new one.”
Well, Bob, you can put my horse in
the new barn; I’m a Baptist, but my
horse is an Episcopalian.”
Another New Plant.
A carious plant has been discovered in
Wisconsin, which produces a kind of
cotton and flax from the same stalk. An
exchange says: It has already been
woven into fabrics, and, as any article
that will make as good cloth as can bo
made from this plant will make good
paper, it lias been called the paper
plant. It can be planted in the spring
and cut in the fall and winter. It
bleaches itself white as it stands, and it
will yield three or four tons to the acre.
From a single root that was transplanted
last spring grow twenty large stocks,
with three hundred and sixty-live pods
containing the cotton, at least sixty
seeds in each. From this root were ob
tained seven ounces of pure cotton, and
over a pouud of flax. It is a very heavy
plant, and grows from six to seven feet
nigh.
Smart Reckoning.
“ Pa, will you get me a pair of skates
if I prove that a dog has ten tails?
“Yes, my son.”
“ Well, one dog has one more tail than
no dog, hasn’t he?”
“Yes.” , ,
“Well, no dog has nine tails; and if
one dog has one more tail than no dog,
then one dog must have ten tails. Hand
over tho skates, please. ” -
The devastation caused by rabbits
amounts in Australia to a serious calam
ity. One large estate, which formerly
supported 30,000 sheep, has been aban
doned on ftooonnt of those pests,
She 3 1 until Ifeta %t%rn.
WILL W. SINGLETON, Editor dc Proprietor.
VOL. VI.
OX I’IBE EVE OF THE WEDDINC*.
O, love, Wore wo part to-night,
Before tho laet- “ I will ” In npokon
Before tho ring ban touched my hand.
Of pure, true, (mhlJchh love tho token—
Before tho church with holy rlto
Her blowing on our lovo ban given.
Look atraight into my eyo with youra,
Amt answer mo In Night of Heaven.
J* thorn within your heart of hearts
One lingering eh adow of regret—
One thought that you have chosen ill ?
Oh ! speak -’tin not too late oven yet.
1* there in all this world of ours
One you have over known or seen,
Whom, if you had earlier soon or known.
You would have crowned your chosen quean?
Is thorn ? I pray you toll me now,
And I will hold you bound no mor#,
I will not flinch to hoar tho truth.
It could not In? so sad, so sore,
To know it now, us it would bo
If by and by a shadow fell
Upon the sunshine of our homo;
ho, if you ever loved mo—tell.
I’d hold you pure from blame, dear lova;
And I would leave you free h air,
To woo and win that happier ouo;
All this for your dear sake I’d boar.
I will not say how I wouirt pray
That God might have you In liis car®;
That would be easy—when I think
Of you, my heart is all one prayer.
But cou and I join her name with youra,
And cud down hlessiug from above
On her who had robbed me of my all—
My life—my light—my only love ?
Yes! even that I’d try to do;
Although my lonely heart should break,
I’d try to say, “ God bless her! ” too,
Through blinding tears for your sweet sat a.
I’m looking up into your eyes;
But, though my own with tears are dim,
I read that in ther true, clear depths.
Which tells me, “You may trust in him.”
T will—l will!—lt needs no words,
Though yours are flowing warm and fast,
And eloquent with truth and love;
Forgive my doubts—they are the last I
Chambers' Journal.
Found—A Diamond ring.
I saw it kicked by the careless bal mo
ral of a jaunty nurse. I saw a fat morsel
of humanity make for it with a hey !
broken into diverse hey-es-eys by pudgy
trotting, and I stopped and secured it,
thereby causing the fat one to pull up
abort, stare at me with two black cur
rants set in a dreary expanse of dough,
insert a dumpy thumb in an orifice of
the same expanse, and trot back again
with that stolid resignation under disap
pointment which is tho peculiar attri
bute of the London infantile population.
Having ascertained the nature of my
prize, I proceeded, to meditate on the
proper course to pursue, which medi
tation resulted in the following adver
tisement :
Found. —'Phis evening. Wednesday, in re
gent's Park, nearly opposite the New College, a
valuable diamond ring. The owner may i ~
cover it by calling at No. 10 Wiuton placed etc.
Before noon, on the following -lay, I
was making my most courteous bow to a
venerable-looking old gentleman, whose
white face and benevolent smile added a
double charm to the grace with which
ho stepped forward, and, waiving cere
mony, extended his hand, saying :
“ You have taken a great weight from
my mind, mv young friend, and must
allow mo to thank you.”
The insinuating delicacy of the ad
jective (I am not more than 45) was,
perhaps, not without its effect. I ac
cepted the proffered pledge of amity in
respectful silence.
“A young man,” continued the patri
arch, “ may possibly find it difficult, to
understand how the loss of a trinket
can be the source of positive suffering
to an old one ; but—l am alluding to
my lost ring—-there are associations
connected with it which—ahem ! This
is childish ; you will excuse my emo
tion.”
I bowed profoundly in the presence of
liis natural emotion.
“ I have passed some hours of sleep
lessness and distress, from which you
have been the means of relieving me ; I
feel deeply indebted to you. There re
mains nothing now but to reimburse you
for—”
“Excuse me, sir,” I stammered, rath
er hurriedly, “but, if the ring is yours,
you can undoubtedly describe its
armorial bearings.”
“Armorial bearing*, sir I It was a
diamond ring.”
“Certainly.”
“A plain diamond ring,” repeated the
old gentleman, sternly. “Do not at
tempt to play tricks on rue, young man.
I will point out to you directly—”
“Ibeg your pardon,” said I, drawing
back from the outstretched hand, ‘ ‘ but,
as the ring in my possession is surely
engraved with a crest and motto, I con
clude it cannot be the one you are in
search of.”
The old gentleman eyed me for a mo
ment keenly.
“I am afraid you are right,” he
sighed, in a tone of deep dejection ; “I
must seek further. Alas ! what a mel
ancholy termination of my hopeful jour
ney.”
“Speed the parting, welcome the
coming guest,” is a very good motto.
1 made no attempt to detain my vener
able friend; but as be turned toward
the door I am certain I saw, beneath
the silver hairs, a lock of dark and shin
ing brown.
My next visitor was a lady, extensive
ly got up, of imposing height and car
riage, rouged, scented, spectacled.
“We meet under singular circum
stances,” began this lady, with a conde
scending haughtiness; “I am iho prin
cipal of a college for young ladies. ”
With a deferential bow at the honor
done me, I begged to know what had pro
cured it.
“In tho hours of recreation wo are
accustomed to promenade in tho park—
a delightful spot, so suggestive of tho
blushing country. During our ramble
yesterday a young lady under my charge
was so unfortunate as to lose her ring.
You, sir, are the fortunate finder.”
“I certainly did, madam, pick up a
ring, but—”
“ All, how grateful my pupil will be at
beholding it again! ” exclaimed the
teacher of youth, clasping her hands ec
statically.
“ Describe it.”
“Describe it! A diamond ring, hand
some and massive, but plain.”
“And the crest?”
“The crest! Ah. that my young
charge were with me! Stupid to have
forgotten. The crest of the Daloraines.
It is a lion, passant or— ? No, Tam
wrong. Unfortunate that she should be
too unwell to accompany me. But it is
immaterial; I will take it for her inspec
tion; she will roooguiao it immediately,”
BUENA VISTA, MAIfION COUNTY. GA., SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 1881.
“I fenr, madam, that I should scarcely
be justified— 1 "
"Sir!”
“I feel it my duty,” I said, firmly,
“under tho circumstances, to take every
precaution against mistakes, I trust
the young lady is not too seriously in
disposed to give you the necessary in
formation.”
“Very well, sir. Exceedingly well,
sir. I fancied—yes, actually fancied—
that I was speaking to a gentleman. You
will find, sir, that the lady principal of
a female college is not to he iusulted
with impunity. Good morning ”
Very harrowing this. I am scarcely
recovered from my indy governess, when
there is a dash of wheels to the door,
and a young fellow, dinging the reins to a
groom in livery, springs up the steps to
the door-bell.
“ Oh, dash it 1” he begins, breathing
out a volumo of stale tobacco, “I beg
your pardon, and that, but the old wom
an—dash it! that’s my mother—told mo
I should find my ring here ; so I ordered
out the vessel and the cats, and spun
along like ninepeuce for it.”
“ I shall be very glad to restore tho
ring I wag so unfortunate to find when I
can discover its owner.”
“ Discover ! dash it! didn’t I tell you
it’s mine ? I say, I wish you wouldn’t
lie so precious ilow—l don’t want the
cats to catch cold—l’ve just had ’em
’shampooed, y’ know, napthsed, and
that.”
“ What soft of a ring w'as yours ?”
“What sort? Oh, co we, as if you
didn’t know—tint’s good.”
I intimated flint 1 should be glad to
find out if he Inow.
“Not know my own ring, eh ! I know
ft’s worth r. couple of ponies. Come,
let’s hear the lamage and I’ll stump up.”
“I cannot give up the ring unless you
describe it.”
“ O, dash if! don’t chaff a fellow now.
I don’t care a hap about the thing, only
it belonged to some defunct party, anil
the governor would cut up so deuced
rough. I’ve got heaps of ’em. Come,
I’ll swap you any one of these because of
governor.”
I respectfully declined the proposal.
“ Well, dash it,” explained the young
fellow', as though struck with a sudden
idea, “ what a couple of muffs we are !
I could tell you in a minute if it’s mine,
dash it 1”
I replied that I was verv sorry that I
could not oblige him, raid, adding tl ait
he had better obtain an exact descrip
tion of the thing from his governor, I
recommeuded him not to keep the cats
longer in the cold.
Mem. lam getting exceedingly tired
of my treasure-trove. I retire to my
room with a view of dressing to go out.
I am informed that a lady wishes to see
me, and I am afraid my mental calcula
tion was not complimentary to the lady
in question.
A tali, graceful figure, draped in heavy
mourning, rises at my entrance. She
opens the negotiation in some confus
ion, turning away her face. She has como
to me in the hope of regaining a ring,
carelessly lost, the parting gift of a fond
father to her brother and herself.
My eyes rested on the crape about her
dress—on her pale, beautiful face, from
which the blush of confusion and timid
ity had faded. Deferentially I request
her to describe it.
“A large diamond, handsome,” she
believed, “ but valuable to her for far
other reasons.”
“ But,” I said, gently, “chasedon the
gold inside the ring there is—”
“A crest; lam aware of it,” she an
swered, sadly, “but I know' nothing of
heraldry, and have never given it more
than a second glance. My brother is
dying, sir,” she said, lifting up her pale
face to mine. “Only this morning lie
missed the ring from my finger, uneas
ily ; W'e were alone in the w orld ; it is
the only relic left of one so lately taken
from us ; liow can I tell him it is lost ?”
“ I am sorry to pain you,” I said, try
ing to be firm. “but it would be more
satisfactory for all parties, and causa
but little delay, if you could obtain tlie
description from your brother.”
Without a word she turned away; tho
mournful resignation of her air and at
titude touched me, and as she turned I
saw a tear roll silently down and fall
upon the hand stretched to the door
handle. I couldn’t stand it.
“ Stop,” I exclaimed, “one moment.
lam sure—l feel certain—l may trust
you. You will tell me—”
I take the ring from its security; I
hold it out timidly for the blue eyes to
examine.
I see yet the look of delight over
spread her fine features —I see the ex
pression of almost childish pleasure m
her eyes as she looked up at me and
clasped her hands and cried out: “ The
ring, the ring I O, Alfred, my dear
brotliei - ! ”
Her hand was upon it; such a tremu
lous, iiappy eagerness in her glance;
such a caressing fondness in her way of
lingering it. How pretty she was.
“My dear child (I am 45), it gives
me sincere pleasure—” Then I stam
mered ; then I sprang after her. “At
least you will leave your address with
me.”
“ Ah, sir,” she says, sadly, handing
me the card on which she had been pen
ciling, “some day you sill be sorry
for this. You do not trust me.”
Certainly lam a brute. The accent
of reproach in her voice haunts me; the
sorrowful glance of her eye—how pretty
she is! I sit down to my breakfast in
the morning, half inclined to call at the
address given, and apologize for my
heathenish distrust.
How delightful to see her in her own
peculiar atmosphere, ministering to the
sick brother who is all she has in the
world ; to look upon, if one cannot en
joy, the beautiful tenderness of a gentle
sister to an afflicted brother.
Hut my letters wait, and I toy with
them. This is a hand I know. What
does Fred want, I winder? I tear it
open ! I read :
Peak Jack : What a queer chance if you
have stumbled upon my ring. I was obliged
to run down to Rumford late last evening, and
never missed it till we slackened at Ilford. A
pretty taking I’ve been in. If it’s mine, tho
crest is inside. You know it—a mailed hand
holding a lauce, and the motto : “ Armed at
all points.” Verily, truth is stranger than fic
tion. Keep it for me. Feed Fynixo.
Idiot! Gull 1 It is quite useless to
call myself names. It is almost super
fluous to add that when I called at a cer
tain address in Easton Hquavc, to in-
Devoted to the Interests of Marion County and Adjoining Sections
quiro for Miss Lucy Hamilton, tho lady
was not to ho found. Probably tho
“dear Alfred” hod required speedy
change of air; probably brother and sis
ter were even embracing in rapturous
gratitude over the relic of one lost to
them so lately. Was that dear one not
lost, hut transformed? Had the silver
haired patriarch of the first visit
changed to tho dashing buck of the
third ? And was the virtuous teacher of
youth only tiio tender sister in masquer
ade? On my word, I believe so ; I dare
say they are enjoying the joke. Possi
bly it is u dodge often repeated. lint
what am I to Fred ?
flow to Travel Like Lightning.
An imaginative man proposes the fol
lowing plan by w liieb he holds it possible
to transport freight and passengers by
rail from New - York to Han Francisco in
ton hours. What the freight or passen
gers would lie good for when delivored
lie does not pretend to say. The plan is
this: “A fair rate of speed for a railway
train is forty miles an hour. The dis
tance from New York to San Francisco
is, roughly, three thousand miles. I
would divide this distance into thirty
parts, with stations at every 100 miles.
First a track, not differing greatly from
the ordinary railroad track, should be
laid for a hundred miles, and it is only
necessary to study rapid transit accord
ing to my plan over this section of the
road to understand liow the whole system
would work. Over the first track of 1 fM)
miles, and running over cannon balls
upon the track, is another, say 90 miles
long, on which, in turn, is another, 80
miles long, and so on till on the whole
system the freight and passenger train
runs, it being of any desired and practi
cable strength. Suppose it is required
to go from A to B, a distance of 100 miles,
the stable track over which all the
others run is, of course, 100 miles long,
and tho first movable track upon it is 90
miles long. Let the first movable track
be drawn by a stationary engine the 10
remaining 10 miles, whereby ono of its
extremities-will reach B, and let us say
that it takes fifteen minutes for it to move
through the ten miles. In the meantime
the track eighty miles long which runs
on the track ninety miles long will have
been advanced - ten miles by the motion
of tho ninety mile track, anil will itself
(either by - means of a stationary engine
or a locomotive) have advanced ten miles
on its own hook, so that in ail it will have
gone twenty miles in the fifteen minutes,
and its extremity will reach B at the
same time that B is reached by the
ninety mile track. So with the seventy,
the sixty, the fifty tracks, .aid up to the
passenger and freight trains, which will
reach B as soon as the ninety mile track
reaches B—that is to say, in fifteen min
utes, at the end of wliiph.’ it will hava
traveled about 100 miles. Perhaps the
•f. Rowing .ita'-emeut avIR : I’.a thormat
ter clearer. Let ns call,tlie ninety mile
track A, the eiglity mile t ek B, and so
on. Ais drawn ten miles, carrying with I
it, B for the same distance. But B lias
a motion of its own and travels over ten
miles on its own account. It has there- !
fore gone 20 miles. C, with a ton mile !
motion of its own over B, which draws
it along, lias gone 30 miles; 1), 40; E, 50;
F, 60; G, 70; H, 80; I, 90; .T (which is
the passenger and freight train), 100
miles, and all in fifteen minutes. The
whole system of tracks need not be more
than four or five feet in height. With
sufficient power the scheme is practica
ble, and wivh motors at present at our
command it would work for short dis
tances.— Scientific American.
The Raid lieutenant.
On a certain occasion, while the Duke
of Clarence—afterwards William 1V.,-
was Lord High Admiral of the Royal
Navy, there was a poor lieutenant named
Payson, whose nautical skill and daunt
less courage gave bun plenty of work,
without advancing him in rank. In fact,
being poor, and without influential
friends, he had been held as a convenient
officer to send out in charge of those
sprigs of nobility who were made post
captains while ignorant of the simplest
duties of office. A competent first-lieu
tenant is a handy man under such cir
cumstances.
The occasion to which we have referred
was a re-union of the officers of the
Squadron which his royal highness of
Clarence had commanded in the Medi
terranean; and the Duke and Lieutenant
Payson were both present—the latter
being the older man by several years.
In the course ef the evening some illu
sion was made to Pay son’s baldness,
whereupon the Lord High Admiral pleas
antly asked him why he didn’t do some
thing to make his hair grow.
“It’s of no use, your Grace, while the
cause of my baldness is still forced upon
me,” replied Payson, with earnest sol
emnity.
“The cause forced upon yon!” re
peated the Duke in surprise. “ What do
you mean by that? What do you con
sider to be the cause of your baldness?”
“It is very plain, your highness:
Look at my juniors in the service con
(inutility xtcppinr/ over nity head! It
has been so ever since you and 1 were
on board the .Taxon frigate together.”
The Duke laughed—not merrily, nor
heartily—but thoughtfully; and on the
very next day Diek Payson received his
commission as Post-Captain in the Royal
Navy.
Blue Monday.
A recognized institution in England is
“blue Monday,” the direct fruit of the
beer drinking which is there tolerated
and allowed. The working Englishman
is wedded to his beer. He feels that it
is the great comfort, and one of the very
few enjoyments of his life. And not
oulv is tiie chocolate room or any like
contrivance “ slow,” but there is about
it an implication that he is taken in
hand and managed by his betters, like a
child, which he not unnaturally resents.
Rightly or wrongly, he feels more
ashamed at being treated in this way
than lie does of being drunk once a
week—once, however, being here a word
of wide signification. For in these cases
“ the same drunk ” often extends from
Saturday night to Monday, and not in
frequently into Tuesday. Many first
clas= artisans, knowing their own pro
pensity, absolutely refuse to work for
any man more than four days a week.
The social effect of this habit or tho
community may be imagined)
non t vs. nosr.
*Y AUSTIN DOnBONT.
“77u! case fs proceed in fj.”
From tlo ti agio-oat novel* at Mudie’a—
At leant, on a practical plan—
To the tale* of n.ere Hodge* ami Judya,
One love le enough for a man.
But no cam* that I over yet met ia
Like Inina; lam equally fond
Of ltone, who a (‘banning Brunette iff,
And Dora a blonde.
Each rival* tho other In power#—
Each wait zed, each warblnv, each paints—*
Mia* Kobo, chiefly tumble-down towers;
MUh Do., perpendicular saintn.
In short to distinguish is folly;
Twixt the pair I am come to tho pass
Of Mae heath between Lucy and Polly—
Or Burl dan’s a*a.
If it happens that Rose I have singled
For a soft celebration in rhyme.
Then the ringlets of Dora got mingled
Somehow with the tune and the time;
Or I painfully pen me a sonnet
To an eyebrow intended for Do.'s,
And behold! I am writing upon it
The legend, “To Bone.* 1
Or I try to draw Dora (my blotter
fs all overdraw led with her head);
If I fancy at last that I’ve got her,
It turns to her rival instead ;
Or I find myself placidly adding
To the rapturous tresses of Rose
Miss Dora's bud mouth, and her madding,
Ineffable nose.
Was there ever so mad a dilemma ?
For Bose I would peri ah (pro teni.);
For Dora I’d willingly stem a—
(Whatever might offer to stem);
But to make the invidious election—
To declare that on either one’s side
I’ve a scruple—a grain more affection,
I cannot decide.
And as e>*her so hopelessly nice is,
My sole and my final resource
Is to wait some indefinite crisis—
Home feat of molecular force,
To solve me this riddle, conducive
By no means to peace or repose,
Since the issue can scarce l>e inclusive
Of Dora and Rose.
(Afterthought.?
But, perhaps, if a third (say a Nora),
Not quite so delightful as Rose—
Not wholly so charming as Dora—
Should appear, is it wrong to suppose'”*
As the claims of the others arc equal—
And flight—iu the main—is the beat—
That I might # * * But no matter—tho sequel
Is easily guessed.
Rais !n India.
A captain in tho army, holding an ap
pointment in the Bengal Staff Corps,
was staying with his wife and young child
iu the same station. The father—a right
brave man lie was, who had been wound
ed not a great while before by some bill
savage—wanted to bring up bis son to
be hardy and fearless, (like himself, I
should add) so the parents put their lit
tle one in a room to sleep by itself. But
they soon noticed scratches and strange
marks on the youngchild’s hands, which,
getting worse, made them call in a doc
tor. This gentleman’s advise was en
couraging; lie said:
“If you don’t want your child to lose
his hands you had better keep him away
from tin rats, for they have been biting
him.”
Traveling at one time in an out-of
the-way district. T. hail put up for tl/e
night >u \ 'dak bungalow," e., travel
ers’ rest house. I asked the native in
charge 'vhethev any sahibs had been
there lately, and he said no, not for a
long time. Before lying down to rest, I
took oft" nay riding boots and flung them
on one side. When I came to put them
on in the morning I found I should travel
with much less leather than I had the
previous day, for the rats • had made a
complete wreck of the upper parts of the
hoots. I hadn’t another pair with me or
I should certainly have worn them, for
my appearance was somewhat novel, as I
was wearing white trousers at the time,
and the holes in the boot 'uppers were
painfully manifest iii consequence.
An old painter in India, whose word I
readily believe, assured me that the zinc
lining of some grain bins was eaten
through and mended, and eaten through
again several times by rats, and that the
performance was quite skillful, in that
the bins were built on brick pillars, aud
great care was taken never to leave any- j
thing beneath for the rats to stand upon. ■
But nevertheless they managed repeat
edly in some way, and gnawed through
the wood and then through the zinc un
til the grain fell out.
I was liviug for a few months in an is
olated, swampy district, and, as a nat
ural sequence, the place being excessively
unhealthy, I was frequently attacked
by the constant companions of Indian
jungle life, fever and ague. The bun
galow was a very rough building, and
had been put up in a great liurry, and
every time the wind blew with any vio
lence I anticipated it coming down in a
space of time even less than that in which
it was put up. When laid up with fever,
and unable to read, I use to watch the
rats running about the beams and rafters
of the roof. Their performances would
have put Blondin altogether to shame, j
I amused myself by waiting until the:
rats got into difficult parts of the roof, f
and then clapped my hands to startle
them. But endeavoring to cause them
to lose their balance was utterly futile.
They always got out of sight in safety, i
I sometimes had something eatable left
on the fable, and thou watched the ma
noeuvres of the rats to carry it away. I
was sorry afterward, because they got
impudent and coiuageous. and fre
quently stole things intended for my own
consumption.
Busy Men.
Busy men of affairs like Thiers have
often surprised the world by the extent
of their literary labors. Bossuet was a '
prolific writer, and the following pas- j
sage from the newly published “Emits !
Inedits” of St. Simon explains how he
reconciled his literary tastes with his ;
absorbing duties of Bishop of Meaux: 1
“Ho know so much, and with so much ,
order and method, that he wrote with
astonishing facility: He, like the poets, |
had no fixed hours for work, though he '
worked a great deal daily. At night lie !
had a fire, a light, a pair of pantaloons ;
and a dressing gown near his bed, and j
nearly every night he rose and worked |
alone several hours. People who were
ignorant of this circumstance were often
very much surprised that he was not out
of his chamber at 11 a. m., and that soon
after he rapilv dressed to say mass: He
had worked until 6, 7 and 8 a. m., car
ried away by his abundance and subject.
The quantity of works he has left is
prodigious, and with so many, spell con
tinual and such varied labors, he none
the less proved to be an excellent bishop,
visiting and preaching himself to hi3
flock, and ho measured his teachings to
their mind,”
A VIOUNT OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.25.
Ye Olden Days.
Thirty years ago Michigan people wer
a frank and truthful set. Stranger*
could come here and trade horses with
their eyes shut, and breach of promise
cases wore unknown. Folks meantwhai
they said, and when they gave theii
word, stuck to it.
Thirty years ago a widower from New
York State appealed in Lansing on busi
ness. That, same business carried him
over to DeWitt, eight miles away. While
m route ho stopped at a log farm house
to warm his cold fingers. Ho was warm
ly welcomed by the pioneer and iiis wife,
both'of whom were well along in years,
and after some general talk, the womaD
queried:
" “Am I right in thinking you a wid
ower?”
“Yes."
“Did you como out hero to find a
wife?”
“Partly."
“Did anybody toll vou of our Susie?"
“No.”
“Well, we have got as bouncing a girl
of twenty-two as you ever set eyes on.
She’s good-looking, healthy and good
tempered, and I think she'll like your
looks.”
“Where is she?”
“Over in the woods, here, chopping
down a coon tree. Shall I blow the horn
for her ?”
“No. If you’ll keep an eyo on my
horse I'll find her.”
“Well, there’s nothing stuck up or
n fleeted about Susie. She'll sav yes or
no as soon as she looks you over. II
you want her, don’t be afraid to say so.”
The stranger heard the sound of her
ax and followed it. He found her just as
the tree was ready to fall. She was a
stout, good-looking girl, swinging the ax
like a man, and in two mimites lie had
decided to say:
“Susie, I’m a widower from New York
State; I’m thirty-nine years old, have
one child, own a good farm, and 1 want a
wife. Will you go back home with
me?”
She leaned on the ax and looked at
him for half a minute, and then replied:
“Can’t say for certain. Just wait till
I get these coons off my mind.”
She sent the tree crashing to the earth,
and with his helpkilled five coons, which
were stowed away in a hollow.
“Well, what do you say?” he asked, as
the last coon stopped kicking.
“I’m your’n!” was the reply; “and by
the time you get back from DeWitt I’ll
have these pelts off and tacked up, and j
he ready for the preacher !”
He returned to the house, told the !
old folks that he should bring a preacher i
hack with him, aud at dusk that evening
the twain were married. Hardly an hour
had been wasted in courting, and yet ha ]
took homo rthe of the best girls in the 1
State of Michigan. —Detroit Free Press, i
Actresses’ Arts.
A great many tricks of stage costume
spring from personal defects. In what
ever cut of waist Modjeska appears, there
is always a bunch of flowers or bow
placed at the left of her open corsage.
When this device is not resorted to, a
little strap of silk will be trailed across
diagonally, or a little fan of lace will sud
denly spring from the left corner, in or
der to hide a scar on the breast that
looks as if it might bo the result of a
wound from a poniard, “souvenir” of a
romance.
Poor Lucille Western was afflicted by
a birth-mark. She was a regular female
Esau. About her waist there was a thick
growth of silky brown hair, which ran up
to a point in front. Where it came above
the tops of her dresses it was carefully
shaved, but the skin always remained
blue. So Lucille wore a huge cross
dangling just above that portion of her
anatomy.
Parepa Rosa had a deep vaccination
scar far down her robust arm, aud when
lier sleeves were very short a knot of
ribbon or a trail of flowers used to cover
it. Before she grew so extremely stout,
she wore a golden band above the elbow
to hide it, but when her armlet got to be
as big as a waistcoat she abandoned the
oddity. One night, speaking of the scar
to an American girl who sat in her dress
ing-room, the Yankee offered Parepa an
immediate and -effectual concealment of
the offending spot. She took one of the
candles off the toilet table, and holding
it above the arm let one drop of the
melted wax fall upon the place, and
there was no further need of concealing
devices. A dash of flesh-tinted powder
completed the cure, aud Parepa’s make
up-box forever after contained a bit of
wax candle.— New York Mirror.
Ihiith and Pluck.
At a certain Sabbath-school, not long
since, the old clergyman of the parish, in
visiting the different classes, came to a
class of four and five-year-olds before
whom the question of faith had just come
up, and lie thought to illustrate the sub
ject to the little ones by telling to
them the story of the child who was
called to jump into the father’s arms, in
tire dark.
“The father was in a dark cellar, while
his little daughter, only three years old,
stood upon the edge of an open scuttle,
or hatchway, in the floor. She could
hear her father’s voice very plainly, but
could not see him. “Come, my child,”
the father called, “jump right down. I
will catch you in my arms. Be not afraid.
It is your fattier who calls. ”
Now, the little child could see nothing
below' but, utter darkness; nevertheless,
she trusted her dear father’s voice, and
jumped—jumped boldly down into the
darkness, and was safely caught into her
father's arms.
“Now, think of it,” said the aged cler
gyman. “Was it .not a beautiful illus
tration of faith ?”
Ho saw one little, bright-faced boy
shake his head.
“Well, Johnny, what do you thing of
it? I)o you not think it required a great
deal of faith on the part of that little
girl to make that leap In the dark?”
“Wgll—l dono; but she must a’ had
lots o' pluck , anyhow.'”
Evidently the old pastor had gained a
new idea, and one which ha could not
dispute,.— New York Ledger.
A San Francisco merchant says that
he picks up from six to a dozen bullets
on his flat roof every year, a striking ill
ustration of the number of chance shots
tired in the oity.
NO. 22.
Wouldn’t tall Names.
Bill Jones had been to sea, and, on liis
return, he was relating to his uncle an
adventure which lie met with on board a
ship. “ I was one night leaning over
the taffrnil, looking down into the
mighty ocean,” said William, “ when
my watch fell from my pocket, and im
mediately smiic out of sight. The vessel
was going ten knots an hour; but, noth
ing daunted, I sprtuig over the rail, and,
after a long search, found the watch,
came up close under the stem, and
climbed back to the deck without any
one knowing I had been absent.”
“William,” said his uncle, opening his
eyes to their widest capacity, “how fast
did you say the vessel was sailing?”
“Ten knots an hour,” replied William.
“ And you dived down into the sea,
William, and came up with the watch,
and climbed up the rudder chains ? ”
“ Yes, uncle. ” “ And you expect me to
believe your story ? ” “Of course, ” re
plied William, “you wouldn’t dream
of calling me aliar ? ” “William,” said
his uncle, gravely, “you know I never
call anybody names ; but if the Mayor
were to come to me and say, ‘ Josiali, I
want to find the biggest liar in town,’ I
would come straight to you and say,
‘ William, the Mayor wants to see you.’ ”
Mexican Balls.
The Mexicans are notoriously fond of
dancing, and will neglect almost any
thing else to attend a baile or ball.
Many American dances have been intro
duced, but the amusement, instead of
being indulged iu in a wild and unre
strained manner, is conducted with
great decorum. The ladies all sit on one
side of the ball-room and the gentlemen
on the other, and when the music be
gins the young men walk out into the
middle of the floor and beckon with
their fingers to the young ladies whom
they desire for partners. At the close
of the dance the ladies return to their
side of the room and the gentlemen to
their own. The waltz of modern society
and other fashionable dances in the
East would be .considered immodest in
a Santa Fe baile, and would not bo
tolerated.
A Great Day for Fisliiug.
“ Did you have much luck, Uncle
Muse?” asked a gentleman of an old
Galveston fisherman.
“ Nebber seed de like. It was all day
long jerk ! up comes a five-pound red
fish : jerk agin, up comes a six-pound
trout; jerk agin, up comes a seben
pound slieephead. It nebber stopped
one second.”
• “How did you catch fish that fast
without stopping to bait your hook?
Come now, More !”
“ Bait de hook ? All deni fish was on
de same hook. Dar was no chance to
bait de hook. De six-pound redfisli
swallowed de five-pound trout, and seb
en-pound trout just jobbled de six
pound redtish, and I jest kept on ontil
day was about twenty fish on de hook,
ail’d den I hauled ’em in and put on
fresh bait. Has yer cotched my mean
in’ ?” —Galveston News.
Hairy .Taps.
Miss Bird, an English lady, describes
in a book on Japan, and especially on
the Ainos, how slio was ferried across
a river by one Aino, “completely cov
ered by hair, which on his shoulder was
wavy like that of a retriever, and ren
dered clothing quite needless, either for
covering or warmth and how in another
place she met with a second old man,
whom she emphatically describes as
“the missing link.” His face was
vacant and apathetic, his arms and legs
unnaturally long and thin, he squatted
with his knees tucked into his arm-pits,
and his whole body was covered with
black hair “more than an inch long,”
and slightly curled on the shoulders.
He had, however, a bare patch on each
side, probably marking the parts on
which lie rested when asleep, a pecul
iarity found in the gorilla, who has a
bare spot on his back where he letxhs
against trees.
A Remarkable Railway Accident.
An almost incredible explanation was
given of the cause of an accident to the
Scotch express, near Leicester, England.
It is said that the train was stopped a
little beyond the town of Kibworth, the
engineer thinking something was the
matter with his engine. Examination
showed the locomotive to Vie all right,
and the engineer again applied steam,
but iustead of running forward the train
was backed, and the engineer did not
notice the change of direction until the
train had returned to Kibworth station,
where it ran into a freight train, but not
before the engineer had applied the
Wostiughouse brake, and so prevented
more damage than the smashing of two
cars and the wounding of four or five
passengers. The engineer was suspend
ed; but it appeared from investigation
that none of the train hands knew that
they were going backward instead of for
ward until it was too late to avert an ac
cideut. It was stated by way of expla
nation that the night of the accident was
very dark.
A colored railroad passenger in Ohio
refused, for a long time, to give up his
ticket to the conductor, protesting that
he had paid his fare “at that other place
down tlnir,” and that the ticket was ki3
receipt for the money.
A painter who was well acquainted
with the dire effects of the law had to
represent two men—one who had gained
a lawsuit and another who had lost one.
He painted the former with a shirt on
and the latter naked.
The editor wrote “An evening with
Saturn,” and it came out in the paper
“An evening with Satan.” It was
mighty rough, but the foreman said it
was tiio work of the “devil,” Audit
looked that way,
A Laplander’* Homo.
In a large, but rather low room, with
walls and roof of rough-liewn plunks,
and with beams stretching from wall to
wall iu every direction, were assembled
at least twenty-five persons of all ages
and bolh sexes Most of them hud taken
off their skin blouses and hung them on
the rafters near the huge wood lire, fit to
roast on ox at. The hall-stowed garments
aud the steam from the dirty persons of
those in front of the lire caused a most
unsavory odor, which prompted us to
make our stay ns short as possible. All
around the apartment, except near the
door, were ranged the sleeping-shelves,
the major part of which were already oc
cupied - men, women and children all in
discriminately mingled together, not dis
tinguishuliletotho unpractised eye the one
from the other, and appearing like noth'
ing else than mero animated bundles of
fur. From the group congregated around
the fire no cheerful laugh, no buzz of
conversation, no noisy merriment email*
a ted—all were silent and still; perhaps
they did not wish to disturb the sleepers;
but, judging from their solemn and lu
gubrious countenances, their gloominess
seemed lmt too natural aud very fur from
assumed or constrained. Well, in the
joyless and monotonous life these poor
people lead, it is not surprising that nil
innate merriment about them is soon
stifled.