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§—
f nrasoiiPTi*! utu
g“« yiwrj. m
Bix month*, 75
Thre* month* 40
L*w DmUIoh,
h Any psnon who Uku a paper regular*
ly from th* poitoffice— whether dlreoted to
hi* name or another 1 *, or whether he he* mb-
■tnbed or not—lareaponaible for the amount.
A Ifaperion order* hi* paper diaoontinued
ha muat pay all arraaraae*, or the publisher
may oontiQue to land it until payment i*
the whola amount,whether
iha pabdria taken from thaoffloa or not;
8. The court* hare decided that refuiin*
ta taka nawipaper* or periodical* from th*
poetoffloe, or removing and leaving them
unoalled for i* prime facia evidenoe of in-
natiotnel fraud.
HEWS GLEANINGS.
TJiere are 8,45<> masons in Alnbama.
Jacksonville, Ala., linB excellent water-
work*.
Aberdccu lina the largest hotel in the
State e? Mississippi.
Alabama ranks fifteenth in the pro
duction of iron.
There are five hundred Sunday-schools
in Mississippi.
There are 1,100 miners at Pratt Mines,
Ala., 175 being convicts.
Birmingham's (Ala,) assessments for
1881 double those of 1880.
The Texas and Pacific railway traek
Is now laid 202 miles west of 1 tall as.
A * large furniture factory is being
successfully operated imWireve|K>rt, La.
Macon county, AMmnmn, is out of
debt, no one in jdff, and the sherifi
apends his time fisjnng.
Cattle, in considerable numbers, are
dying below Chattanooga. Tennessee, of
some unknown disease.
Enough sweet potatoes will bo made
in Florida this year to supply the Uni
ted .States.
A mammoth hotel is to be erected at
the Hot Springs, Arkansas, by a cbm
pany from Maine.
Six hundred new horses and mules
are required to supply the demand at
• Abbeville, S. O;, every vear.
£ Twenty-nine hundred and fifty pgrl-
cultural Hons have been filed in Fair-
field, S. C.
The members of. the broken bank at
Aberdeen, Mississippi, have been indic
ted under the new statute which makes
it a penal offense to receive money on
deposit in a bank when in a failing con
dition.
The Macon (Ga.) Telegraph and Mes
senger reports the arrival of u member
of tho fish commission with 1,800,000
ahad, which were promptly placed in
Ocmulgee river.
.Knoxville (Tq$n.) Tribune: United
Senetor, Rowell E. Jackson, of
Teupereee, has pqr^iased the elegant
r^J^gnce .of )V. B,$ljiiw, on Vermont
ivveu^ie. Washington* at . a cost of
♦2&Q00. • . •
, Clafiin University, at Orangeburg, S.
C.V is for colored students exclusively.
• and is supported by the State. Connec
ted with it, by special act of the Legis
lature, is a branch cf the State Agricul
tural College nnd a Mechanics' Institute,
the university as a whole tyting directed
by^co-operatiug boards of trustees. The
university has three departments—col
lage, normal school and grammar school.
The total number for 1880-81 numbered
388. Connected with the university b
tho Baker Thcologica’ Institute, whore
young men are trained for the ministry.
General Francis A. Walker, superin
tendent of the United States census,
telegraphs to the Enquirer-Sun, of Co
lumbian, Ga., that a clerical error has
been made in the population of Colum
bus. Tt should be 10,123. Tho Enquirer-
Sun says that this is correct according
to t|ie returns made by the enumerators,
but adds: “We are confident that it
Vails short of the population of the city
by more than two thousand inhabitants.
Within three-quarters of a mile of the
court-house there is a population of not
less than twenty thousand people, but
we can not claim them, oven though
nearly every one is directly engaged in
business in the city.”
THE BUTLER HERALD.
W. N. BENNS, JAMES D. RUSS. Editora.
« LET TUi-.HE 15J: T.KJIIT.”
Subjcription, $1.50 in Advanc*.
VOLUME V.
BUTLER, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, JUNE 14. 1881.
NUMBER 37.
tMT. A BOY.
lo went from the old home he&rthatooe,
Only elz yunra ego,
A laughing, frolicking fellow,
It wouludo you good to know.
Since thrn we have not aco him,
And wo uy, with nameless pain,
The bor that we knew and lured ao
We shall neroraee again.
One bearing the name we gave him
Gomes home to us to-day,
lint,this Is not the dear fellow
With a ,
] * he who bikes by tho hearthstone
The lost hoy’a olden placo.
We min (he laugh that mnde musie
Whererer the lost hoy went.
This man hna a (ratio inoal winsome,
HI* eyes have a grave intent:
“ ' iw lie is thinking and planning
'ay In the world of men,
i cannot holp but love turn,
re long for our boy again.
Wn know
Who cl ,
With hints of the vanished boyhood
> *-• lost, thoughtful face;
tea back the longing
henceforth must min,
my from tan I
Forever with a kin.
s place,
ne vainsf
tlmiurli
And yet comes
For the hoy i
Whom wo sent away from ISe hearth)
THE NEWSPAPER.
Matrimonial Methods.
To *how that tho habit of declaiming
again ah the booutitudes o! matrimonial
life andjjrotesting that tbo nation is to
be ruined jf a period is not put to fash
ion is no new tiling, we extruot tbo fol
lowing fropa the Connecticut Herald,
printed in the year 1823: “As it is idle
\fl hope for reformation in those who are
* possessed with the fashionable mania,
aud as the wont of cash seems to be tho
obstacle to matrimony, I would beg leave
to propose a plan, which may prove
beneficial to both aexes. It ia not a
new one, but haa been so long out of
date that it will at least possess the
charm of novelty. Let all marriageable
girls, young and old, be assembled an
nually at one place. Let them be put
up by on auctioneer one after another.
The rich will pay a high price for the
handsomest. The money thus received
should be bestowed as a settlement on
the more homely, whom the auctioneer
should present m regular order, asking
if any one would aocept snob an one
with suoh a sum. This plan was prac-
f tloed with great sucoess among tho As
syrians and several other nations of
’ antiquity, as any one of our ready-made
archaeologists will admit. By it the
rich will be able to support their bar
gains, of course, and the second-chop
wiveii—to use a flowery and oelestial
* Miom—will bring something to support
'theft husbands and their own extrava-
§ auco; no one being obliged to accept a
amsel if she has nothing but love and
duty to offer.”
i> fifklah Jnsn, KUHnr nflhs rinpdoodlr.
Draws m r«w Kkctrhr* from Malar*.
| Prom the Steuben* tie Herald.]
The editor of the livening Flapdoodle
sat in his sanctum tho other morning,
just before lieginning ltis day’s work, and
thought he bad brought ltis paper about
as near perfection as possible for an ordi
nary-sized town dose to a half dozen big
citios, nnd lie was wondering how ho
muh( further improvo it, when ltis cogi
tations wore interrupted by mi acquaint
ance coming in.
“Hello, Mr. r^ Msors,” he facetiously
said, “writing up editorials with the
■hears, oh?”
The editor tried to smile at the old
joke, and the visitor went on. “I toll
you what it is, Jones, you have a pretty
good papor, but what do you want in a
town like this with long editorials ? Give
us short ones. You can’t mold publio
sentimont, you must simply echo it.”
Then bo left, aud Jones told his associate
not to write any long editorials that, day,
as ho proposed, for onoe, to make tho
Flapdoodle just to suit every subscriber
who wanted a change. In a half hour
along came a wicked fellow who talked
newspaper a long while, and then said
he didn’t see any ttso of Sunday reading,
nor any other religious matter in a pa
por, and if it was his ho would bounce it
all. The editor said nothing, but when
tho man went away he told his Sunday
editor not to Bond any matter for that
day. Then J ones rested and thought for
a few minutes, and a pious old party
dropped in. As he know a good deal
about the business ip its moral aspect,
ho talked along, aud at last said that no
newspaper could be deoent which ad
mitted to its columns any sensational
matter, any advertisements other than
the most high-toned, any slangy squibs,
or anything which oould not be read
without a blush by the most capriciously
fastidious. Jones was silent, but Inter
be went and ordered all that matter set
osiclo. So far, JoneB thought he was
getting things to suit pretty well, and
then another man came in, and like tho
others, knew all about the business of
editing a paper. Ho was a city politi
cian, aud said, “Mr. Jones, you don’t
have enough politics. Why don’t yon
throw out those farm notes,
and kitchen receipts, and odds aud
ends of old nows, and telegraphic
brevities which wo get in the other pa
pers and givo us politics? That’s what
tho children cry for.” Again was Jones
silent and later gavo orders for tho ox
pulsion of all this objectionablo matter
and wonted for the next one. Ho camo
pretty soon, and ho hod a coffin for a
coat and a shroud for a handkerchief, aud
ho smelt like the dust which blows off of
askoloton. Said lie, “Jones, I like your
paper, but what do you run that funny
business in it for? It’s silly, stalo, and
flatter tliau last yoor’s ale with the bottle
left open. What does a man want to
laugh for ouyhow? This is a vale of
tears and wo should always remembor
that in tho uncertainty of lifo death may
cut us off with an idle laugh upon
lips. ” “That’s so,” groaned J ones,
out every line of fun right out,” and off
ho burned and out went all the funny
business. A* he went home at hoc
met a lady who said she didn’t
what they wanted to fill a paper full of
politics for, because nobody rood that.
“Don’t they?” said Jones, “then out she
goes,” and when ho got back it (ill wont
out. “I’m bound to plenso ’om all” said
tho editor, “If I have to buy a now of-
fleo. ” Bight after dinneraman of business
proclivities come in and said he didu’t
see any use of “these silly little per
Bonals and them short local items that
didn’t amount to anything anyway.” If
It was his paper he would have some
thing of a higher nature or let tho place
go bore. Jones listened and told the
foreman to whack out all that sort of
stuff nt once. Then he felt easier, till a
lot of pretty girls came in, and, after
making a purchase, asked him what a
newspaper was filled full of advertise
ments for; nobody over read them, aud
"* ’ going to stop taking
7" A bionifioa*? but melancholy com
ment upon the value of the work actual
ly accomplished by the much valued
Boston sohools is found in the fact that a
9JI prominent lawyer who wished a copyist,
u recently was forced to reject a largo
number of applicants who had grodunted
Troth onr high:school, for the simple
. -reason that qot one of them oould spell
.cpthJpqh words even tolerably.—Buxton
Courier,
tbo paper if he was going to fill it up
that way. Jones told the young lady he
would havo a paper to suit every one, or
rather made after the suggestions of
every one, and ho hoped she would not
find fault. Then ho went and or
dered out every ‘ad.’ and smack
and smooth, and waited
tho next man. He camo along pretty
soon, and said he could stand anything
but poetry, aud that was bis abomina
tion in a nowspapor, and it never ought
to encounter the columns of a local jour
nal, because it was meant for magazines,
aud that sort of papers. Jones took it
in, and went out ana ordered all his fine
poetry knocked down. Then he waited
again, and a woman came in, and paid
the fashion notes wore no good, because
tbo magazines had them all in greater
quantity, and another thing she didn't
like, was tho markets. “What good
was them I” she said. “ I don’t know,”
he replied, “ so I’ll throw ’em out.” “ I
hope you will,” she answered, and went
away. In ton minutes tho markets and
fashions were on the standing galley.
Jones began to look around, and as lie
wss studying, a small boy said to him
that “marriage and death notices was
mighty thin roadin’,” and Jones slung
them clear out into the corner. After
this change he went over into ths count
ing room, and an old man was there
waiting to pay his subscription. “ It’s a
good paper, Jones, but in this place you
only want to take notioe of local affairs,
and let all the miscellaneous and general
business go," and—then Jones gave the
old fellow a receipt and rushed back and
took out all the miscellaneous and gen
eral matter that was left, and as he took
out the last handful a friend came
through the office and oritically examin
ing his surroundings, said, ‘ ‘ The Flap
doodle is a good paper, Jones, but I do
think you have the Ugliest head on it I
over saw. Why don’t you change it?
I’m certain I never would let suoh a head
appear on a paper of mine.” “All
nghfc,” said Jones, and off camo the
head. “Now, Mr. Foreman,” he con
tinued, “lookup the forms and send
them down to the press room.” The
forms were duly looked and went down,
and the paper came out and was dis
tributed as usual. The next morning,
the politician, and the solemn man,
the friend, the school girl, the woman,
tho small boy, and all the rest of
them were standing around the Flap*
doodle office with blank sheets of pnpor
in their hands; not a line, not a word,
not a sign of anything on it but colnmn
rules, with nothing between. “How is
this?” said eaoh to the other, “and
where’s that fool oditor, to impose on tlx
in this way ?” While they were thus
talking, the devil came in with a letter
from the editor, which the old man read
to the crowd. It ran as follows:
“Dear friends, you all think yon
know how to ruu a newspaper, and when
you oome to me with your suggestions I
hate to tell you differently, so I havo fol
lowed your advice and you boo what yott
have as tho result. If you will bo kind
enough to blind your own business half
as well as I do mine, and try to think
I know a little something, while you
don’t know it all, I will give you a good
newspaper, and whenever I don’t give
you your money’s worth, then como and
tell me so. but don’t come telling me
how I Bhould do my work, when I nave
dovotod years to it, and you have novor
given it an hour’s study.
“I am yours truly,
“Hezexiah Jones,
"Editor Flapdoodle
Tlion those good people looked at
their blank paper and their blank faces,
and not one said a word exoept the pro
fane man, who romarkod, “Damme, the
editor is right; let’s go and mind our
own business,” and Jones crept out from
behind the counter, aud that evening
issued a tip-top paper, chuck full of all
sorts of personal nnd local items, and
news, and everything, and there
peace in that town for the space of a
long time.
A Prosperous Section.
Wo are reliably informod that in the
section of our county known as Bull
Swamp, proper, there is not a man within
ton miles who gives a lien on his crop.
Farms aro run on a cash basis or on the
personal credit of tho farmer without re
sort to lien or mortgage on any property
whatever. As a natural consequence of
this state of things improvements and
progress aro everywhere visible in fences,
bouses, fields, stock and home premises.
Tlio two races live and work m perfect
accord, and colored laborers are not ttn-
tly known to live for a series ol
years in the employment of one man. In
this wav home oomforts and values aro
accumulated until the prosperous laborer
finds himself able to secure a homo of
bis own. There is not a trial justico or a
bar-room in the whole soction nor will
tho citizens suffer one of these uuisauces
to exist among them. Thoro is no ne
cessity for the tho one and no patronago
for tne other. It is believed that the
citizens of this favored section will pe
tition tho next Genoral Assembly to pass
a law prohibiting tho sale of liquor en
tirely. This is certainly an excellent
record for Bull Swamp, financially, and
morally.—Orangeburg (SC.) Demo
crat.
The Eagle and the Kite.
An eagle, overwhelmed with sorrow,
sat upon the branches of a tree in com
pany with a kite. “ Why/’ asked the
kite, “ do I lee you with suoh a rueful
look?” The eagle answered, “ I seek a
mate suitable for me, and am notable to
find one.” “Take me,” responded the
kite. “ I am much stronger than you.
I have often carried off an ostrich in my
talons.” The eagle, persuaded by these
words, aooeptod the kite as a mate. Af
ter the election, so to speak, was over,
the eagle told the kite to fly off and
bring back the ostrich it had promised.
The kite soared aloft and returned in
time with a miserable little mouse in an
advanced state of decomposition from
the length of time it had lain on tho
ground. “Is this,” said the eaglo,
“ the faithful performance of your prom
ise tome?” The kite unblushingly re
sponded : “ Yon must know that to ac
complish any objeot there is no lie I will
not tell.” The only moral to this fable
is that the people should not always send
to the Legislature the man who talks
loudest with his month.— Galveston
News,
England's Balers.
The Norman line began with William
the Conqnoror; then comes iu succession
the houses of Plautagonet, Lancaster,
York, Tudor, Stuart, tho Commonwealth,
Stnart-Orango, Stuart, and Hanover.
William the Conqueror was tho sixth
sovereign of Normandy. Henry II, tho
first of (ho Pl&ntngencts, was tne son of
Matilda of Scotland, a direct descendant
ol Edmund II, surnamed Ironside, who
was the son and successor of Ethel rod
II, born in 989, and King of the Anglo-
Saxons in 1016. Henry IV, os tho Inst
of tho Plantagoncts (Richard II) left no
children, was the oldest son of John of
Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster, fourth son of
Edward HI, and of Blanohe, daughter
and heiress of Henry Plontagonet, Duke
of Lancaster, great grandson of Henry
HL Edward IV, tho first of the House
of York, was descended from tho fifth
son of Edward III, as the Lauonstriau
Kings had descended from the fourth
son of the same sovereign. Henry VII,
tho first of tbo Tudors, was a descendant
of Henry V. James I of England, and
VI of Scotland, was tho son of Lord
Darnloy and Mary Queen of Scots, and
bis right to the succession rested on bis
descent from Henry VII through his
greatgrandmother, Margaret. Charles
It was tho second child among sixth of
Charles I, and started anew the Stuart
lino at the restoration. Mnry, who with
■William of Orange, ruled Britain, was a
Stuart, as was also Anno, “the good
queen.” George I, of tho Houso of
Hanover, was descended on his mother’s
side from James I. Tho following will
show the length of tho roigns of tho
sovefal houses:
Team.
Tho Norman lino 1000-1154
Plnntagonot 1154-1399
Lancaster 1399-1401
York 14G1-14H5
Tudor 1485-1003
Stuart 1003-1019
Commonwealth 1049-loot)
Stuart., j 1000-1088
Stuart-Orange 1088-1702
Stuart 1702-1714
Hanover 1714
The following will show nt a glance
the rulers. Thoro were often a number
of queens, and, ns space is limited, only
tho actual rulers’ names aro given:
Norman—
William 1060-1087
Win. Rufus.. 1087-1100
Hom y 1 1100-1135
Btenbon 1135-1164
riantagonet—
Henry II....1154-1189
Richard X...1189-1199
John 1199-1210
Honry III. ..1216-1272
Elizabeth 1658-1003
Stuart—
Jnnioa I, 1003-1026
Charles 1 1025-1049
Commonwealth—
Parliamentary
Executive... 1649-1053
Edward I. ...1272-1307
Edward II...1307-1327
Edward III.. 1327-1377
Richard II...1377-1399
Lancaster—
Henry IV...1890-1413
Honry V 1413-1422
Hour? VI.... 1422-1401
York—
Edward IV...1461-1483
Edward V... 1483-1483
Richard III.. 1483-1485
Tudor—
Honry VII...1485-1509
Honry VIII..1509-1547
Edward VL..1547-1553
Charles II....1000-1085
JamoH II 1085-1088
Stnart-Orango—
Mow to Make Koumiss.
As soon as tho cow is milked, take
one champagne bottle of milk, and into
this put one table-spoonful of white
powdered sugar previously dissolved;
add one table-spoonful of brewers’ or
linkers’ yeast, and shake all thoroughly,
but not sufficiently to produce butter.
Set the bottle in a warm place, where
the temjjerature will be from 8 to 14
degrees lteaumnr, and let it ferment. It
is difficult to describe its appearanoe
when ready for use, but this will usually
occur in two or three days. The cork
must be well tied in to prevent it being
thrown out by the fermenting liquor.
The next making of koumiss may be
prepared from the first when it is four or
five days old. One-third of a bottle of
the old konmiss may be added to two
thirds of the new or fresh milk. Befor
drinking, shake the bottle well.—Jfw
York Bun,
William III... 1094-1702
Stuart—
Anno 1702-1714
Hatiovor—
Ocorgo 1 1714-1727
Qoorgo It.... 1727-1700
Ocorgo III...1700-1820
Ocorgo IV.... 1820-1830
William IV... 1830-1337
Victoria...... 1837
Flint-Lock and Percussion Cap.
Tho flint-lock musket and fowling-
pieco died hard, os will bo appnroufc to
all who remembor that in 1807 the Bov.
Mr. Forsyth took out tho first patent for
a percussion gun, and that it took at
least twenty years from that date for the
weapon to be gonorolly accepted and
employed by English sportsmen, and
thirty years from 1807 for it to bo adopt
ed by the British army. Such is the in
eradicable conservatism of the British
nation, and of its Governmental depart
ments, that every great soldier who had
won his spurs in tbo Peninsular war, in
cluding, among many others, the Iron
Duko and Sir Charles James Napier,
wroto absurd platitudes against “ tho
new-fangled substitute for tho glorious
weapon with which our soldiers won
AJbuora, Salamanca and Waterloo.” The
new percussion musket was viewed with
such suspicion and mistrust by tho War
Office pundits that it was issued, in the
first instance, only to one company in
every regiment Happily, it had an op
portunity of manifesting and establish
ing its iucontestible superiority over tho
matchlocks pitted against it in Afghan
istan and upon the Sutlej; nor wus Sir
Charles Napier slow to confess that to
the now weapon, admirably handled by
the Twenty-second regiment of British
foot, and by tho Twonty-uinth regiment
of nativo infantry, ho mainly owed his
astonishing victory over 85,000 Beloo-
chocs at Mesonee in tho February of
1843. The percussion musket was not
introduced into the French army until
1840; but Mesauco was it* “baptism of
fire” throughout tho civilized world, and
it is doubtful whether 1,800 British sol
diers, of whom little more than 400 were
Europeans, ever gained a more honor
able or meritorious victory. Bat, whilo
tbo new weapon was slowly making its
way us a military small-arm, it was
eagerly seized upon and adopted ut a
much earlier date by sportsmen, who
were quiok to recognize the advantages
secured by the rapidity of ignition and
certainty of explosion imparted by the
percussion detonating cup to the charge
of gunpowder within tho barrel.
Pilgrims in Paterson.
Paterson, N. J., enjoys ono of the
most densely populated families in
America. Tho City Physician of that
place, believing that an opidemio was
breaking out in an “apartment of two
rooms,” threw aside the official tape and
form peculiar to onr City Board of
Health, and personuriy visited the scene
of his suspicions. Ho found twonty-iwo
freshly arrived Hollanders iu “tho two
rooms hired for one family,” and mors
than that, all the members of it were not
at homo at the time of bis call. Ten
men were absent looking for work and
old acquaintances. Progeny was tho
epidemic tho Hollanders bod brought
with them, and ns the entire thirty-two
were healthy, happy, and able to sit up
and take their combined ninety-six daily
meals, tho Doctor left them to continue
to multiply, increase and perform all the
other duties incident to deoent Dutch
lifo. From all accounts this exhibition
exceeds anything so for produced in the
oombined greatest shows on tho earth.
—New York Commercial.
Mu*. M Anar hop, good Aoul! proposed
til distribute Irn. Is among teetotalers,
who, sluvri^rote tii bear, are living in
htate of spiritual destitution.
The Southern Soldier.
In the winter of 1863 the First regi
me nt of Virginia Artillery was in winter
S UArters at Frederick Hall, Va. The
econd company of Richmond Howite-
ers was camping on the grounds of Dr.
Pendleton. Here an incident occurred
which illustrates how little regard the
volunteer had for army regulations.
Lieut. O., of tho Salem Artillery, was a
graduate of the Virginia Military Insti
tute at Lexington. He made himself
quite obnoxious to the boys by his
strict military discipline, whether in the
field or camp'or in tho winter quarters.
It \vm his grwt delight to be officer of
tho day, on which occasion he would do
all he could to impress the men with
the idea that he was au fait in army
regulations.
One night he rode up to the place
wliore tho Second Howitzers were
parked and yelled out in a very loud
voice,
“ Where is the sontinel on this post ?”
Tho sontinel was sitting on a ruptured
bag of corn, engaged in parching a
quantity ol the grain, more for the pur
pose of passing tho time away (of oouree)
than witli any intention of satiating his
appetite (for all good soldiers will re
member that an rapetite was an imple
ment not marked aown in the catalogue
of a Confederate soldier’s acoouter-
ments), and be replied;
'* It ain’t n post; it’s a sack of corn.”
“ Where’s your corporal ? ”
“ Bleep, I reckon.”
“ Why don’t you walk your post ? ”
“ Didn’t I tell you ’twa’nt a post? ”
“ Who’s corporal of this guard ? ”
“Billy McCarthy, Second Howitzcis,
■loops in second cabin at head of lino on
left side,” replied tho sentry, all during
the conversation keeping his ove on his
frying-pan, which he continued to shake
to keep his com from burning.
“Young men,” said Lieut. C., “you
don’t seem to know the first duty of a
soldier. Hew long have you been in
the army?”
Three years, one month, ten days and
oighteon hours, when the relief comes
round. I always keep it to the notch,”
replied the sentry, singing a few snatch
es from the popular song of those days:
“Why did you not rise, salute me and
walk your beat when I come up ? I
shall report you to headquarters in the
morning for neglect of duty.”
Baying which the Lieutenant departed
and soon disappeared in the darkness.
After giving him sufficient time to get
off some distance, the sentinel mounted
the pile of com and yelled out:
“Hello there, mister 1 ”
“ What’ll you have ? ” was the reply.
“ Who are you, anyhow?”
The Lieutenant answered: “I am
Lieut. O., officer of the day.”
“Ohl shucks,” replied the sentry;
“blame my bido if I didn’t think you
was Gen. Lee.” .
Poet-Laureates of England.
Tho custom of crowning a poet with
laurel originated among the Greeks, and
was adopted by the Romans, who bor
rowed this, as many other things, from
their moro cultured neighbors of the
East. Tho po'>ta who received the crown
wore tho ones who succeeded in the con
tests. In tho twolfth century the cus
tom was revived in Germany by the Em-
I jeror, who invented the title of poet>
aureate. Pei rarch was crowned in 1841
at tho Roman capital, which event at
tached now interest to the title. The
early history of the laureatesliip in Eng
land is traditional. The story runs that
Edward HI, in 1867, emulating the
coronation of Petrarch, granted tho offloe
to Clmiioor, with a yearly pension of 100
marks nnd a tioroo of Malvoisie wine.
Ben, raro old Ben Jonson, mentions Homy
Seognn as the laureate of Henry IV.
John Knv, or Cain, was oourt-poet under
Edward IV, and Andrew Bernard hold
the same office under Honry VII and
Henry VIII. John Hkelton received
from Oxford, and subsequently from
Cambridge, tbo title of poet-lnureato;
and Spenser is spoken of as tbo laureate
of Queen Elizabeth, because of bis hav
ing rocoivod a ponsion of £10 a year
when ho presented bor tbo first books of
tho “Faerie Queen.” In 1619 the
“order” wns formally established by
James I, who granted Bon Jonson, by
patent, au annuity for life of 100 marks,
and thus scoured ills services. In 1630
tho lauroateship was mode a patent
offico in tho gift of tbo Lord Chamborlain.
Tito salary wm> increased from 100
marks to £100, aud a tierce of Canary
wine was added, which was commuted in
Bouthoy’s time for £27 a year. Thoro
was from that period a regular succession
of laureates. Tho performance of tho
annual odes was suspondod after tho
final derangement of George HI in 1810.
The poot-luureato from tlio timo of
Southey has written what be chose and
and when ho chose. Wordsworth wroto
nothing in return for tho distinction, and
Tennyson has written vory little. The
following is the list of tho laureates from
Jonsou’s day to date:
n. m Jonnon .1680-1687
Will. Diivi'iiport lR7flIl68B
Tliomiwt Hmulwoll
Niclmliii Kmro. •«••••••••• 1714—1718
"HI. ** till..*!. _ . . n{u ,
The Old Banking System.
The banking system in vogue provioui
to the act of 1864 was simply that which
placed the charter of all banks of issue
and deposit iu tbo hands of the several
States. In 1856 and 1857 there were
about 1,400 of these State institutions;
in New England alono there wore 507
banks and branches, with a capital of
8114,611,752. At that time an important
feature in New England baukingwns tho
“Suffolk banking Bystetp,’’ through
which the notes of ail New England banks
were collected nnd redeemed at the Suf
folk Bank at Boston, each bank making
a stipulated d<q>osit for that puri>o8e,
amounting in the aggregate to $300,000.
Tho older banking system of the United
States dates back of tlio State banks.
During tho revolutionary war tbo coun
try was extremely poor, with few indus
tries except agriculture, and witli no
S reciona metal to speak of. Congress,
[ay 10, 1775, mndo preparation to issue
Continental paper, $2,000,000 of which
were pat in circulation on Juno 22 fol
lowing. Those issues aggregated $300,-
000,000, and depreciated so much that
eventually they became valueless, al
though laws were passed making them a
legal tender for the payments of debts.
Then a plan was submitted to Congress,
May 17, 1781, by Rolurt Morris, for a
National Bank, the principal provisions
of which were: Tho capital to l>o $400,-
000, in shares of $100 each, each share to
have a vote; that twelve directors ho
chosen from those entitled to vote, who
at their first meeting shall choose a pres
ident; that the directors meet quarterly;
that-the board lie empowered from timo
to time to open new subscriptions for tlio
purpose of increasing the capital of tho
bauk; statements to lie mode to the Sup-
perintendent of the Finances of America;
that the bank notes payable on demand
shall by law be mode receivable for du
ties and taxes in every State, and from
ipoctive States by tho Treasury of
Thomas Wnrton
Henry Jan
Robert Routhey
Salaries *f British Mlnllten.
Tho hrIiut lift of tho Britieh Govern
ment show, tho relative rank aaaignoil
to Washington an a diplomatic atation
by the European powers. The British
Minister at Paris reoeives an annual sal
ary of $50,000; at Vienna, $40,000 ; at
Constantinople, $40,000; at St. Peters
burg, $89,000? at Berlin. $36,000; at
Pekin, $30,000; at Madrid even, $27,-
000; while at Washington Bir Edward
Thornton is obliged to live on $25,000
and a very considerable number of al
lowances. In point of grade the Euro
peans rank Washington practically with
the missions to Brasil, to Japan, to th*
Hague and to Lisbon.
Tub Czar is the only crowned widower
ami Victoria, tbo only crowned widow
among tlio European potentates. Al
fonso ami Christine, of Spain, arc the
youngest wedded conplo; Wilburn and
Augusta, of Germany, tho oldest.
the United State*; that the Superintend*
ent of the Finances of America shall havo
the right at all times to examine into the
affairs of the bauk. This bank became
an important auxilary in aid of the
finances of the Government, and so con
tinued to the end of the war. Then fol
lowed the Bank of the United States,
commonly called Hamilton’s bank, which
was chartered in 1791, and continued till
1811. From that time to 1816 tho fiscal
scrvico of theGovornmout was performed
by banks operated under the State law.
In 1816 tho secoud Bank of tho United
States was areated; its capital was to bo
$35,000,000, in 850,000 shares of $100
each; $7,000,000 of the stock to bo sub
scribed by tho United States, and the
remaining $28,000,000 by individuals,
companies or corporations. Tho bank
went into operation Jan. 7, 1817, and
continued till 1836, when it censed to
act under tho charter granted by the
United States, but tho same year was ro-
ohartered by tho State of Pennsylvania,
with the same capital. On winding up
its affairs in 1840, after paying its debts
there remained nothing to tho stock
holders, the entire capital being suuk.—
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Telegraphic Reminiscences.
“I think,” said General Stager, “that
I was about the first to read messages by
sound. Certainly I had so read t hem be
fore I knew of any ono else doing it.
Erostus Brooks, just about that time,
came to Fittalmrg ami bought out tbo
Gazette. It was a very responsible duty
to collect the telegraphic dispatches, aud
the chief editor used to coute himself to
my office for that pnrposo. The markets
were sent in cipher. Ouo day iny regis
ter broko down wbilo Brooks was watt
ing for the report. A steamer had just
landed in Now York, and tho nows was
important. But tho register was iu bucIi
a state that patching wouldn’t do. Mr.
Brooks was iu despair. Now the offico
call of a telegraph station is easily
learned. You havo *DE,’ for instauei
for Detroit; ‘BU’ for Buffalo, ami ‘11 *>
Cleveland—tho ‘C’s’ being taken up
somewhere else on tbo line. ^ The con
stant reiteration of DE, DE, or BU.
BU, or whatever tbo ofljeo call is, make
it familiar, ami as easily recognized a
the Sound of n man's name. Tho very
boys learn in short order. < )f e<
those days, just os now, our ol
were recognizable to tho ear.
with this in mind that I said to Brooks,
‘Wait a little and I’ll try another plan.’
I explained matters to the operator at
the other end, and asked him to go slow,
and between my knowledge of the
eipber and the good-natured repetitions
of each link of it by my dowu-East
friend, I managed to get tbo whole of the
report. It camo slow, but came in time.
Brooks loft a delighted man.”
“Now, Genoral, that's a historical fact
worth noting.”
“I make no claims,” continued Gen
eral Stager, “but I’ll tell you my owi:
experience. It was always a question
among us whothor Mr. Barnes or Gov
ernor Cornell was tho first to read and
send by sound: Some say it was Barnes,
tome dornell.”
“Tho present Governor of Now York?
“The very saino. Governor Cornell
was an old-time telegraph operator. ”
“Did the now improvement take?”
“On the contrary,” said the GonertU,
“the officers fought against it. Every
commercial message, they said, must 1>e
read from tho tapes. Tlioy insisted thot
they wanted something for a record.
We used to bundlo up the tapes aud keep
them for reforonce, to compare for errors
and find out whether tho recoivor or
sender was to blame. It was a long
timo befote tho officers discovered that
such errors would bo detected just as
well by taking a letter-press copy of the
message. But readiug by sound is v—
the only thing. It has immensely
A-oased tho efficiency and capacity of tho
telegraph.—An Interview in the Detroit
Free Frees,
The plug hat is virtually a sort of
social guarautoo for tlio preservation of
peace aud order. Ho who puts ouo on
has given a hoetage to the community
for his good liehavior. The wearer of a
plug hat must movo with a certain so-
(lateness and propriety. He cannot run,
nor jump, nor romp, nor get into a fight,
except at the peril of his headgear. All
the hidden influences of the beavor tend
toward respectability.—New Orleans
Republican.
Virtue has many preaohors but few
martyrs.
HUMORf OF THE DAT,
Vy things goto D K how O J> thif
Many a man who thinks himself •
great gun is nothing more than a big
bore.
Kkbf odoI andjron command every
body,” remarked 8t, Just. He stood in
with anioe company.
A box who won’t try is like troth,
because the boy won’t endeavor and troth
won’t end ever, either.
MOSSY man. of a*ny mini*.
Taka to “straddloa” and to 7 * bllaSa»»
Many fUhoomoin toaea;
Man* gulls thay prom to b*
-XatoaO OsuKsr.
As A bulb book-keepers are ink-lined
to be pensive. Will some one kindly
tell na if a blushing seamstress is nut s
flushed sewer?
“Thxbk is no disgrace in beingqpooT,”
we are told, and we're howling glad of
it, for there are enough other disadvan
tages about it, without that one.
TV^m of Yonkers, ere we buss, toll mo,
will you moke a fuss?—New Yolk News.
Man of Gotham, ero you risk your life,
tell me, will yon inform your wife?—
Yonkers Gazette.
A Richmond physician says that if
people will take a bath In hot whisky
and rook salt twice » year, they will es
cape the rheumatism and colds. But
wouldn’t that spoil the whisky?
Disgusted man says: “Why don’t
hotels find some substitute for the ever
lasting beefsteak for breakfast?” . Bless
you, lots of ’em do. Cowhide • is tho
favorite substitute.Post
Her name was Eva, and wljpn .Charles
Augustus called tho other evening and
asked her to be hi* darling wifey, slio
gently thrust him from her and sweetly
said: “Not this Eva. Some other Eva.
Good Eva.” . z
A Biiodh Island clergyman wa* gferen - \ ,
S Emission to Bing “Tho Sweet Byo agd^
ye” in an insane asylum. Matty -pa-f
tients were movod. So was the clergy- *
man. A lonatio moved him clear down .
stairs. . „'
“Hi! where did yon get them tr#os- *
erg?’’ asked an Irishman of a man who. 1
happened to be passing with a remarV-'*'
ably short pair of trousers. “I got
them where they grew,” was the indig- '
nant reply. “Tnen, by my conscience,”
said Pat, “you’ve pulled them a year too
soon I”
In Boston: iEsthetio young lady—
“By the way, Mr. Gosoftly, have you •»
reatl Bascom’s ‘Science of Miuu? ” ’
“N-n-uaw. I’m not reading much now-
o-days. I pass my time in origiual
thought.” iEsthotio young lady (with
much sympathy)—“How very dreary, to
bo sure.”
It was their first night aboard tho
■tcamer. “At last,” ho said tenderly,
“we are all one, out upon the deep
waters of the dark blue sea, aud_ your
heart will always beat for mo as it has
beat in the past?” “My hoart’s all
right,” she answered languidly, “but
my «tomacli feels awful.”
“Prisoner, you are accused of having
stolen the complainant’s pocket book; do
you plead guilty or not guilty?” “Guilty,
your Honor.” “What wus tho motivo
that impelled you to commit the erimo?”
“I had a note coming due next day, and
oould not bear the thought of having my
name dishonored!'’—Figaro.
When a husband becomes angry and
swears before his family, he is not bo
much to blame; he doesn’t know bow it
sounds. His wife, really, is to blamo—
idie ought to swear, too, to let him hoar
how it sounds. Isn’t this sound logic?—
Kentucky State Journal. Well, we’ll
be—ahem—yes—that-—is—we’ll be com
pelled to say that it in.—Steubenville
Herald.
The Two Girls of Frostburg.
Two young ladies for tbo past four
years have bad control of a farm of ono
hundred and sixty acres near Frostlmrg.
They have plowed, sowed, reaped, built
fences, raised hogs aud performed tho
other oountless duties incident to a
pastoral life. Iu addition to their out
side duties tlio care of a widowed and in
valid mother has boon a tax ou their
energies. One of the ladies is a shoe
maker, and all work of that land used by
tho family is executed by her. Tlio
house in whioli they livo is largo and
roomy, yet these two girls, whoso ages,
by the vraj, ore twonty-two and twontv,
have made nil the carpet, and made it
well, too, painted a number of farm
scenes and family portraits in oil, and
filled up tho otherwise vacaut spots with
waxwork, etc. Besides, the fact that
they are good musicians, tho fuct that
they uever shock your refined ear with
ungrammatical remarks, is also note
worthy. Go to that much-abused villago
of Punxsuatewnoy, and, after inquiring
for tho location of Frostburg, walk
in that direction just three miles and
you will reach the home-made homo
of Emma and Manilla Black.—Pittsburg
Dispatch.
3 calls
Educating Oysters,
And, although it has been doubted
that an oyster iiad been so fur subjli
fted us to “follow its master up and
[own stairs,” a consummation which
night accepted as positive progro.ss-
ve steps in the rise toward ultimuto civ
ilization, at least according to “Lewes
Heasidc Studies," oysters aro suscepti
ble of being educated to a small extent.
In the grout establishments on tbo coast
of Culvodos, tbo merchants touch oys
ters to keep their shells closed when out
of tho water, by whioli the liquor re
tained keeps their gills moist, tuid. they
arrive lively in fur-distunt Paris. Tho
proceM may be worthy extensive pub
licity ; it is this : No sooner is an oyster
taken from the sea than it closes its
shells, aud opons them after a certain
time—from fatigue, it is said, but more
probably because Uto shock it rocoivod
by removal into the air, causing its mus
cles to contract, has passed awuy. Tlio
Calvados men take advantage of this to
exercise tho oysters, aud make thorn ac
customed to .be out of tho water, by
leaving them daily in the atmosphere
for longor and longer periods. This has
tho desired effect; tho woll-educuted
mollusk keeps its door closed ut least for
many consecutive hours, and so long as
tho sholl is closed its gills aro kept moist.
'—All the Year Round.
Wedding Anniversaries*
The wedding anniversaries are as fol
lows: First year, iron; fifth year, wooden;
tenth year, tin; fifteenth year, crystal;
twentieth year, ohina; twenty-fifth year,
silver; tliirtieth year, cotton; thirty-fifth
year, linen; fortieth year, woolen; forty-
fifth year, silk; fiftieth year, gold; bot-
enty-fifth year, diamond.
Tna following is placarded in tho
theater at Dnrango, Col.: “From and
after tliis date all Demons who wish to
gain admittance to tne auditorium of tho
Coliseum must leave their weapons at
the front bar, where checks will be
given for them.”
A. R. Yon Loehr, of Vienna, lias
patented a device for winding a watch
by moans of the motion of tlio wearer s
Ixxly in walking.