Newspaper Page Text
t K* H.a bM4I .tree lift had tad
And fc a ihj but* oclj, ib*rt for An.
I ww M* thre with th.r p*> Win mw 1
‘ ‘ r ' *•* nWatiif hrert Hat van U.J ovm,
only Wid aw all tkal 1 hadloat
Wbrn fn-m th. t taut tty Icnlr accl had tan.
Tb.' o revtaotMat: aad aai turaad away.
And Iflt Um ireure aha* cthtr owaraare tUI;
Nor did In ma on that day
n In tbn bnnbatrnaAM thtr.g van kU.
Tn thlVib art** Ami hut iron* an boar
L.J>i*:wthar aoi-t-.., fur and awrrt,
Where IkhSAafil.r arena siA|<£S(Um p-aar
£r kqpi in jouUi and l-e*u I) t.u wa meet.
Thna I ran far! fhat anj jivrn day
I oould rejvifi lire*, X"I1* awhile before
To foreign climea to pass dull week- a wav.
By wandering on Up broad Abanilo ahoro,
b'hiun nek long '•are that hraaka m-w Uta aaiid
Brere than a gmanga from me aalttng bare,
Ail orery breath aprlng breathe* acraaa tha land
Baama aa a algn that th' M art lingering neor.
So I win think of then aa laving tbam
And I Win keep thy crave in eweetent bloom
Aa If than (revert a garden to my care
tlk'n.dt'i-artrd from our English gloom.
Then vi hau ruy Jay i- done uuf 1, too, die,
,’XvrUi be aa If X journeyed to thy at la.
And whaa all quiet we together be
tie abail not know that we kare aver died
-AU U* l mr Romd.
TIIF. FLEXIBLE FIEXI).
Last summer my wife received a tele
gram from her mother (visiting in Bos
ton}, urging her to meet'her in that city
on an important family matter. Let no
oue suspect mo of intimating that my
respected mother-in-law is the “ flexible
fiend,” from my introducing her name so
aoon after the title of my story; but had
it not been for that telegram my experi
ence with said fiend would have been
nib
Arabella was to.start early in the morn
ing, and gavo me many orders. “Be
sure and lock all the doors every night,
Theephilua, and, whatever you do, don’t
aggravate Bridget, for yon know whaTa
helpless predicament you would be in if
she sljpuld take it into her head to
* leave. ”
I gave the required promises, and next
day saw Arabella safely on her way. For
a few days all went smoothly. Bridget
was, to use her own' description, in the
most “ illigantest” of huuors,.and I en
joyed nn won ted tranquillity. Ktencame
the beginning of the end. Of course
Arabella and I letters daily.
(We had only been married a year and a
half.) On the afternoon of the fourth
day her letter contained the following
thunderbolt—in a postscript:
•‘I forgot to tell you that I found
Aunt Carraway here on a visit from tfie
West. She will come home with me for
a short stay, so be sure and have Biddy
clean the house from roof to cellar, as
Aunt Carraway lms an eye like a lynx—
but then you know, Philly dear, she has
a great deal of .money,”
X understood,that, “Philly dear,” *t
once. On ordinary ocoasions Arabella
calls me “Theophilus.” She knew that
’ T iivAu -Vt&ko* ftirv. & hi.wither thug con
voy her cfctomiinds to Bridget, but, as
the thing had to be done, her mode of
mklross was an affectionate hint to ap
proach the dreaded damsel with the ut
most circumspection.
I began at onco. I went to tho kitch
en, where Biddy was scouring pans.
. '‘Wall, is there anything
you need from the store ? I m’ay run
down there to-night, and can bring any
thing you want—just as well as not, you
know.”
“Sugar’s out,? said the jaaidofi, la
• Aonically. 44 Jft'M , &. £* &
“ Anythingolse, Biddy?” with a Pick
wickian smile and a Ohadband inflec
tion.
k. *
“ Sure ye might be after fetcliin' a
anp o' tay, toot”
“I will, Biddy, with great pleasure.
By tho way, that’s a fine fellow that
tomes to see you sometimes. McCarthy
■ his name.”
. “It’s my cuzzint, Bhure,” said the
bashful Biddy, rubbing away vary hard
the bottom of a pan.
“Avery nice cousin, indeed, and I
hope yon Will treat him well, Biddy,
every time lie Vomes. By the way, I
have jnst had another letter from Mrs.
Blodgett. She will bo home on Thurs
day, and wished me to mention to you
that yon might do a little., house-clean
ing, as site expects to tiring a friend
with her. I’ll lieip you, Biddy, ’pon
tht" word I will,” I continued hastily,
seeing signs of gathering wrath on,
Erin’s brow. ’ *'
Next day wo began operations. While
Bridget .soi-jibbed and scoured and
grumbled and glowered, I devoted my
energies to dealing out the rubbish in'
our tiedroom closet, and progressed
swimmingly until I came, to an old hoop
skirt of Arabella's. I find beard a friend
say that stove-clinkers and old hoop
ski rts were the hardest things to get rid
cotiTtt^Sdf. 1 I could'hot. 1*
could not hido it in (lie attic. for Aiftff
Carraway would .to _make ah
pedition thitlmr within twenty-four
hours of her arrival! Jf I should throw
it behind tffh woofl-sfied, Biddy wbifiil
trip oveC ft and {mature her classic nose.
A brilliant idea presented itself! I
would bury it in the vegetable garden,
near the potato patch.
“ The turf shall be its winding sheet,”
sang I triumphantly, and bore it to the
spot. A few spadefuls of earth, a few
madly tears (oaused by uprooting a very
powerful onion near by), and all was over.
The next day I sat in my library,
reading an ins tractive volume entitled
“Enigmas of Life.” The door was
thrown open, and a bouncing, bewilder
ing object gyrated along the floor to my
study-chair, followed by Bridget, with
the thunders of Olympus on her brow,
wnd—ves—a blacked eye ! With wrath
ful goat ores she shot forth her tirade :
ELLIJAY COURIER.
W. IT. on MR** I
Mirer u 4 FtblUher. |
“ An’ it is aaesiif that’ll be Mi thee hav
in’my eye kilt entirely wid the nathifcin*
owld villin av a lioop-skurrt jumprnt in
til me face, while I was diggin’ a few
peratiee for dinner—like a divil -from
purragatony, sure !" 1
She disappeared, and I laid down my
book in despair. “ Enigma* of Life 1”
I should think so!. I seized the hoop
skirt. and ran frantically in the garden.
I would imy it adveuty fathoms 4ecp,
if I had to dig through to the antipodes 1
No one should say that Theophilus
Blodgett was the man to be conquered
by an old hoop-skirt, forty-spring double
elliptic though it might be I Just as I
reached the comer of the woodshed, I
heard a silvery voice exclaim:
“ Good-morning, Mr. Blodgett I”
Looking around, I descried, oh, hor
ror 1 the clergyman of St James, with
his wife and young-lady visitor, Miss
Juliet Thornton, coming to call 1 • For -■
the Rev. Cfiggswell and lady I cared not ]
a straw, but Juliet Thornton had been ?
one of my ardent attachments before X'.
engaged myself to Arabella. In fact, I
was a long time (I may say a very long
time) making np my mind which of the
two X really preferred; but, on Arabella’s
remarking sarcastically one evening that
“ some people never did know their own
minds,” and that “ men were all alike—
fickle as the weather”—l gasped for
firmness, uprooted Juliet from my heart
forever, and made Arabella name the
day on the spot.
However, notwithstanding the uproot
ing process- (which is not always so
thorough as sogio people imagine), if
there was one parson in the world before
whom Lwished jto preflfent a respectable
aguro, it was Juliet Thornton. Arabella
might got killed in a railroad accident. .
Strange thing| happened every day. iJ
glanced about me in desperation. There
stood a heavenly ash barrel right at my t
elbow. I breathed an inward thanks
giving, anij, hastily cramming the lioop-
Skirt into the Tifttrel, joined m f visitors
at the front gate.
“ Wo are just in time to make a tour
of your flower garden, Mr. Blodgett,”.
said Juliet beguiliugly ; “I do so dote
on flowers 1” and she gave one a tender
glance, as if to say, “ I have not forgot
ten tho hot houses and snowy oamellias
that a certain individual used to send
T#t" ..tv ,
“ With all my heart, ladies; this way
—and Mr. Oiggswell, too,” and I led
them in triumph around tho flower beds,
plucking tho fairest blossoms of all for
Juliet and Mrs. Oiggswell. It is fortu
nate that Arabella did not see the solioi
tude with which I selected the,perfect
specimens.
The reverend Ciggawell., squinted
through his eye-glasses toward the
kitchen fire.
“ You have—aw—some very fine veg
etables, too—aw—Mr. Blodgett, I per-’
ooive. lam very foncl of looking—aw—
at a vegetable garden. ” *4-
I could have murdered him. The way
to the vegetable patch led direetly past
t’le ash bdi-rel.
“Oh, yes, dear Mr. Blodgett, do
#how us the vegetables,” said .Juliet.
“ I do love to’see the cunning little yel
low squashes, and the beets and onions
and other nice things.”
There was no help for it. Stifling a
groan I conducted them to tho desired
place. Wo neared the fateful ash barrel.
Juliet’s eyes were cast on the ground;
and I breathed freely as we passed it,
-*hen an ominous sound—“ tsiss-ss-t ”
greeted my ears, and my horrified eyes
beheld a long, .Jigged rent in Juliet’s
pink cambrio polonaise ! That diabol
ical, hoop-skirt—that haunting remorse
less fiend—that “Banquo” that would
not “ down ” —had protruded a broken
wire through a chink of the barrel, and
the deed was done ! If Arabella were,
to be immolated on fifty trains it would
makp no difference now 1. Juliet would
never smile on me again. A womitn'
must be an angel to forgive an irrepafir
bio ir jury to anew dress.
Of course I apologized, and of course
slio pretended not to care; but a certain
freezing dignity crept into her manner
for the remainder Of the call, and by the
time we reauhod “ the cunning little
yellow squashes ” her enthusiasm was as
dead ns Julius Osesar.
The visitors declined an invitation to
enter the house and rest. Mrs. Ciggs
with an infinitude of pins and an
of sympathy, made tempora
ry-repairs in the pink polonaise, and I
bowed them out of the front gate with
an unwonted chill at my heart.
Looking across the street I espied a
ragman’s cart standing at . the Widow
Dickerman’s. A wild impulse seized
me. I snatched the “ fiend ” from the
ash barrel, and, as I ran up-stairs, called
out, “Bridget, Turnover to Mrs. Dicker
man’s, please, sad tell that ragman to
be sure and stop here.”
The rag-bag always hong by Arabel
la’s sewing-mstphine in the bedroom.
Twisting the fiend into the smallest
possible compass, I wrapped and tied it
securely in a ragged dish-towel, and
pu.shpd it down, down, down, to the very
bottom of the bog. No, that wouldn't
With a Machiavellian cunning I.
I palled the “ fiend ” up toward the mid
j die. “He will never discover it till hie
! petH to the thought TANARUS;
.“farewell, ruthless destroyer of. my
i ik ace, farewell 1”
ELLIJAY, GA„ THURSDAY SEPTKMBKU 1. 1831.
l ilimr— lA - - - - _
e By tim 40F
c eted ’be Wido'. DiekWr i had
<■ to the end of ci Fering half,
pint tih cups and gri 1 Iln frnTm InmUt
sn-1 he cart was at t door. With a
etolidvcon.ipsnMME but’wHJHißg
by. while
xhe peddler weighed the
rags and counted out tho ca&h, I did
back of tlio cart vanish over the tori of
the long, hilly street, on the road to
' H .
The next day Arabella (dear girl) re
' turned with Aunt Carraway. As we sat
at dinner, plying our elderly relative
with all the delicacies of the seasonal
heard an animated discussion at the
■ kitchen door between Bridget and- a
Bll'Mtg* DLiIJI. V-'i-.'
tbiei Bangs is agoin’ tcW pS/ 5 cents a
paound for old hupskirt wire you’rs
just a leetle out of your reck’nin’, for
calf’iat© to korry on bizness m
m afrle. TU trouble yew ufod 10
CBntc MiAter,” and he bandad the
ktill lied in the ragged towel.”
Arabella was completely mystified.
Aunt Cawaway looked unutterable
things I Xhanded out a dime ; Hiram
Salathiel departed. I flung myaelf bock
in my chair, in an attitude of utter
hopelessness.
“It’s no use, Arabella I I’ve tried to
get rid of that infernal thing ever since
Tuesday 1 It’s bewitohed 1 Where’*
my bat f” and I plunged wildly out at
the house. V
“ It’s all rit/hf Phillv Aimt P,am*
O f AWU V* |
way wasn’t nearly so horrifled as yon j
would suppose. She’s iwleep in her*
own room n<JS)” nke awTßiSßffTifd lamPi
kin.” ,ir W
She led me rqqmi
where the bookcase iAoiW,
roguishly to a mysterious looking,
serpentihe atraugaiinent on the wail,
lined with Turkey red, finished pff with
bowt of ribbon Snft filled with riewsps*
pers.
“Yon know, Phil, you never can find
your paper again when von lay it down,
t o
pocket for a surprise. ”
I looked‘again. Could I believe my
eyes ? Yes, it must be; it was the
“ fiend ” transformed into an object botft
useful and ornamental by the ready wit
and deft fingers of a woman t
“I acknowledge myself surpassed,
Arabella. Men aometimes don’t know
half as much ns they think they do.”
Arabella smiled demurely.
wKiaHiwa $e0, 000,000 itr gold.
Tho weighing is being done in the
large melting-room in tho Assay Oflioe.
The brass scales are about four feet
high, and the Weight on either side and
at the center rests upon knife edges of a
sharpness that will have been worn so
much when the present weighing is done
that they will never be used again. The
balance of the empty pans is so enact
that the one-hundredth part of an ounce
added to either sido bears it down
promptly. The weights used are of a
composition of metals looking like brass.
They are shaped like large tomato cans,
with scooped-out tops, across which are
straight handles, and they weigh 600
troy ounces each. Ten of these weights,
or 5,000 ounces, make tho oapaeity of
the scales, a drop of this sizo disposing
of twenty-five bars of gold, or $125,000,
Of couiie there are many smaller weights
toßecgrg*!tct Mouzaqy, The entire
accumulation of gold amounts to 700
iug from 9 a, m. to 4 p. m., only 105
melts can be disposed of in a day. Al
lowing time for lunch and delays, the
'work will probably not be completed
much before the last day of the jjjicid.
year, which is June 30. The gold, which
is in bars about sift inches long, an inch
thick, and two and a Saif inches wide, is
stored in commofi open wooden boxes,
with about the capacity of.a hod. Ten
bars are kept in each box, and the hand
truck in which the gold is hauled from
the vault to the scales will hold twenty
boxes. Each bar is worth $5,000, each
. boxful, about $50,000, each truck load
about $1,000,000. The reporter, when
shown into tlia vault,, was surrounded
by shelves’piled up with gold and silver
worth about $60,000,000. —New York
World. "**, %
’
TUB GREATEST^
The Persian author Saadi tells a ston
of three sages—a Greek, an Indian and
a Persian—who, in the presence-.of tlio
Persian monarch, debated this question:
Of the evils incident to humanity, which
is the greatest ? The Grecian declared,
“ Old age oppressed with poverty;” the
Indian answered, .“Pain with impa-
while tha Persian, bowing low,
made answwr, “The .greatest evil, O
King, that I oan conceive is the couch
of death without one good deed of life to
light the darksome way I”
Wrn you buy peanuts, that’s a quart.
When you pay for them, that’s a quarter.
And when you have disposed of them,
that’s a quartette.
wjTATgBW M3 kld °
Mfct ofjAl Akh ta |*
■ , the ifiuch-ebu ! oriHont' :
Tbits writers the waKdoeirixot stand
as a ,<1- lAatCUf It ajHwi'ru to th- Lu
largely of
ft hallowed lomaWM woi Is will be
so long as trIH can persuade
■theilUKfi or oe touch
tffo hliy trtrtft lored and
die neglected. But in die mftin it has
awarded them no shai i of fame
and fortune. To tha t elase of toilers,
hoyp3.ver„ ’without patience and
skiS the pen of the ro’Jj 'writer weau
but slow means of
thought, it has been lediftibesal. A large
army of men and boysvtid vofing women
are now engaged with 'husy fingers and
nerves under oontinned; tension in fur
nishing.-the reading jubhe with the
printcdAlieetr In tkp Rowing they be
gin their tasks* with tnfjpsxly dawn that
the business man may have afresh sheet
when he gathers artr#flF his fireside at
evening. But when 'TuSycrowds have
left the stroets and reimjjed families are
enjoying the luxuriesolnomc, the print
r still toils by lamplight that the morn-
be not -wiiwiug. These are
• nohill-prid as far ss gollars and cents
g<v The composing fitii* is a pretty
sure, but not an easy mnatis, of winning
yooo’s bread. But little bf
honor, considering hojf much they do
for the pleasure of- individual* and for
the progress of society? When we feel
the happiness of our wet. enhanced £y
the perusal of some c%i;iaing work, we
cherish gratitude for Abfc genius that so
fittingly set the thoughfs to words that
they elevate us witli ripbtions of beauty.
But we scarcely think ri the patient toil
that is required to print those words that
the reading of them would be a pleasure.
If the only way of learning ftn author’s
tUought# •bjr.dog&ip■ *ring hi cramp
ed ohirogr { phy, full df eras
4r* and intirlineatio'ls, few woqhbbo
inclined to midortake te task. Yet the
printer must do-41us. ( He* must, too,
Bear the blame oF tire rrftetSi bad spell
ing and bad graotmar, though he is al
lowed to share none ’if his prasae. for
sound logic or bnllio. t rib>. a The
world, oanuot honor fs printers too
mueb.„ Tlietr ’l'-ks oome
nearer than anything e*e oi being that
lever of wliiok the Byracusan dreamed.
A LITTLE HEED.
That “tall oaks from little aoorns
grow” is illustrated by the following
statement of a correspondent of the
Interior: “About the year 1882, I
rode,” he says, “ from Philadelphiaon tho
first railroad-oar that ever ran from that
city. We made a pleasure trip of five
miles to Germantown) the extent of the
road. The roils were laid on oblong
blocks of stone, squared and rising six
or eight inches out of the ground.
“ The carriage was omnibus-fashion,
filled with passengers above and below,
and drawn by horse-power. It was a
great novelty, and we were all de
lighted.
“ The project of this road had been a
matter of great interest, and the stock
■was eagerly sought. The subscription
was taken in a building at the northeast
corner of Market and, I think, Second
streets. I was looking on at a distance.
“ A crowd had colleoted outside of the
building, and, not waiting to hand the
subscriptions in at the window, suddenly
the sash flew up, and through it pell
mell want the subscribers themselves,
crowding the passage with a rapid cur
rent of wriggling humanity, heels, heads
and albowf confused.
“ All this excitement about a five-mils
horse-railroad J And. io wonder. It
was prophetic, tothat little seed lay
aomprsssed that spark of energy which
shot forth the great Pennsylvania sys
tem ef railroads te shakt sleep out cf a
woyoEnre a atothlM s feeling*.
A burglar entered a house in whioh a
mother was sitting up with a sick child.
“Sir,” she said in a whisper, as soon
as she could compose herself to speak,
“ there is nothing ef value in this house
except that child’s life, at least to me,
but you may find otherwise. Here, take
my keys, search everywhere, take what
you want, but speedily and without noise,
I implore you.”
She handed him the keys, placed her
fiuger to her lip, and pointed to the
door.
The-burglar moved quietly away, then
fitVn&f and said in a low voice:
“Is he very sick 1 ”
“ His life bangs on the continuance of
this sleep.”
“ Then he will reoover for all the
noise I’ll make,” the robber answered,
laying down the keys and noeelessly tak
ing his departure, but absolutely noth
ing else.— Utica Herald.
At Cervia, on the Adriatic sea, the
festival of “marrying the sea” was cele
brated with great solemnity last month.
The Bishop, at the head of a brilliant
procession, marched to the edge of the
water and cast the wedding ring into the
surf, according to the old Venetian
style when the Doge “ married ” tile re
public to its auuual bride, the Adriatic.
jvo ono::it ihkx sfront:.
A liar-tender Uways takes the oppo
site view ul everything. The other day
Mr. Oaltnghor Was in a Qnnrt street sa
loon and tip (Ml his chnir back and went
oyej and jamihed his head into a msim
dor aiid was considerably hurt. The in
cident annoyed him, and the bar-tender
told him he.hadn't ought to swear. Gal
lagher said -that, under the iufluence of
sudden pain, five men out of six would
swear. The lmr-tender wouldn’t, believe
it, and the mailt-was a bet. Then, for
the test, Gallagher got an ordinary
brick and heated it fearfully hot, and
on the marble bar. Now, a
brick doesn’t show heaty-eml tlns ufure ifc
was not surprising that when Mr. Gruil,
came in and saw the brink on the bar lie
should pick it up. He, huwever, sthowed I
no disposition to put it fh 'his pocket *
or do anything else with it. Ho imme
diately laid it down, and made frantic
gestures and said a number of wicked
things. Then in came a butcher, who
alse pioked up tho briok and laid it
down. He looked around savagely,
and, after freeing his mind of pome
unholy sentiments, Bifid he hoped ho
shouldn’t see as he pre
ferred not to be jpeassity of
doing murder. The nextpriptiui was a
Chinaman, and he rprlrn msyy i>i lof
English he knew, and two-ttiMfcbfiwhat
he remarked woulffteMe heMfrimproper
in a Hiinday-seli(^tl*® , fi[e joined Mr.
Gruff and the butcher in suokiug hip
fingers and watching for tho next man.
He oame in the form of n prominent pol
itician, and as ho,placed the brick upon
the bar his language sounded like aftar
eleetion talk. The kar-teuder began to
be nervous, but the next man merely
pritneed about and wildly waved his
Uajids withont saying a word. It ap
peared that he was a dumb man. So
the next man would decide tho bet. He
wsfc a young man from tho luufixir din
• teiets of Mains, and didn’t look like a
talkative chap. Bnt when lie got liold
■of that briok his jaw seemed to become
loose, and the way he blasphemed even
shocked a parrot, and the butcher said
he’d give $75 if he could talk like that.
Gallagher had won. He rose up and
explained tha affair. The six, headed
by the young man from Maine, started
for him aa.. on<\_iDßP,_ Thejtpullpfl him
all over the place. They brushed the
ceiling with him, used him for a foot
ball, threw him down cellar, tore his
clothes off and made him drink water.
They said they wanted to see if it would
make him swear. It did .—Boston Post,
TBF. LAWN AND GROUND*.
Most front yards have some attempt
at ornamentation, but taste is too often
outraged by the indulgence of whims.
The rich green of the grass plot is bro
ken up and frittered away by numerous
single plants or small beds soattered all
over the yard. In some instances ever
greens are planted in the immediate
front of houses, and so near to them
that, although they had obtained only a
partial growth, the branches are already
intruding themselves into th# veranda,
thereby not only inconveniencing the
residents, but presenting anything else
rather than a handsome appearanoe, and
threatening, in the course of a few years,
to almost entirely exclude the sunlight
from that portion of the premises. This
is a grave error. Trees, however beau
tiful, should never be planted so near the
house as to bar out the sunshine. There
is no more effectual method of destroy
ing their beauty, nor a better plan for
introducing #|ease. I have known
houses, thus crowded upon by trees of
dense foliage, that became so unhealthy
as to be regarded almost untenable.
Large trees are out of place iu small
yards; they should be in keeping with
the plat they are intended to
Exchange.
NON-ROTATION OF THE EARTH.
To THU Editob or tub Soixntifio
American: You will doubtless think
that I am presumptuous when I tell you
that I do not believe the earth rotates.
My reasons for not believing that the
earth turns around every twenty-four
hours are simply these : When two ob
jects pass each other, going in opposite
directions, they pass very quickly, as for
instance a bird flying west ought to pass
objects upon the earth mnoh more rap
idly than when it flies east. But this is
not the oese. A bird passes no more
rapidly going west than when it flies
east; a ball thrown against s bouse in a
westerly direction does not rebound any
more than when thrown east.
You may send s balloon up above
your head and let it stand twenty-four
hours, and at the expiration of the
twenty-four hours the balloon will be
directly over your head. I have studied
the reasons given in astronomy and find
nothing to refute my observations.
Hoping, if 1 am wrong, you will write to
me and set me right, I am yours, etc.,
T. A Kiexi.and,
Franconia. Pickens county, Ala,
▲ Wactwn editor found some strnnge
looking looking bits of metal in the
street, end took them to a jewelry store
to ascertaiu what they were. The stuff
turned out to be inouey.— Peak'* Suit,
OSSSS?I3E2IS VOL. VI. -NO. 31.
rniXTER*' B ULLS.
HidifUOMM JSlimdmr* Mad* by Compositor*
'and Proof-Rradrrt.
Among the most amusing things in
Newspapers are the blunders which the
intelligent compositors, ably assisted by
oarelee* editing and sleepy proof-rend
ers, frequently lugs ip by the ear. The
most carefully edited journal fs fallible
in this direction. Proof- readers am eon
atantly in hot rotter. In the Loudon
Times' office they are fined for every
blunder that eludes them. Ou the New
York Herald they have been suspended
for weeks. In spite of this severe dis
cipline, tho Herald made the. astoaifh
ing.announcement Unit “ a long line of
scorpions’ feathers filed ifTtdfte cftnnsh,'
instead of “sriipff&d A ro
porter on that paper had occasion to
fjurfte a verse.from a familiar hymn in
which the word “herald” occurred. The
proof-reader dutifully underscored th
‘ word, and tho verse appeared, “ Hark,
the sing.” It was in the
Worlds report of a political meeting
that tfie word “shouts" wor so ludicrous-
ly misprinted as to make tho blunder
famous, " The snoute of 10,000 Demo
crats rent the air,” read the report. A
few year* ago the journalist who is wide
ly known as “Oath,” wrote a Fourth of
July article. With fervid eloquence he
told how tlie effete monarchies of the
Old World trembled in their boots when
they read the immortal declaration
penned by Thcmas Jefferson. "Thrones
reeled,” wrote the impassioned Oath.
Next morning he wished he hadn’t, when
he saw in cold typo, “ Thomas reeled."
A local reporter recontly wrote that Dr.
Talmage dosed his services with the
hymn, “Nearer, by God, 'io Thee.”
The malicious blunder was oaught on
tho fly in the proof-room, and didn’t get
Into tiie paper. A daily paper np the
Hudson reported the speech of. a Fourth
of July orator, in which he had some
taaaty about the “flat of the Almighty.”
The proof-reader had never heard si
“flat money,’ ’ and ho was willing to bet
his week’s wQgut there was no sufh word
in the vernacular. So he printed it,
“the fist of the Almighty.” At the time
of tho Meeker massacre, a dispatch from
the West attributed the mutiny to the
farmershaving “pulled down the In
dians’ tents and corrals.” It was put
into type as “having pulled ddwn Use
Indians’ beets and carrot* ” The Win.
nepeg Times, on the death awhile ago
of a right-re verond, for "the death of a
prolate” printed “the death of a pirate.”
A Cardiff newspaper, in reporting the
sermon of the Rev. Dr. Mollor before
the Congregational Union, where the
reverend gentleman spoke of “ women
clothed with sanctity,” by an unforthnate
transposition of tho “o” printed the
phrase “women clothed with soantity.”
The story is told that Ernest Renan last
winter hod occasion to telegraph across
tho British channel the subject of a
proposed lecture of his-in Westminster
abbey. The subject us written by him,
woe “The Influence of Rome ou the
Formation of Christianity.” It was
published in England as “Tle Influence
of Rum on tho Digestion of Humanity."
Thu man who gave his name to that
instrument ot death known as the
“ Bowie-knife” is receiving much atten
tion nowadays in the way of remin
iscences of his remarkable career as an
adventurer. He was a tough citizen was
James Bowie, but he had a sense of jus
tice in his heart that gave him a charac
ter among those who doprocated his
murderous ways. He made the original
bowie-knife while lying upon a sick-bed,
laid up with wounds received in a “ con
troversy,” and fashioned the weapon for
purposes of revenge. It was made of a
large saw-mill file. A good story is told
of him in Texas. He entered a church
in one of the new towns and found a
clergyman trying to preach to an
audience part of whom were anxious to
listen and the sther part bent upon
sport. When he announced his text
and attempted to preach one man brayed
in imitation of an ass, another hooted
like an owl, eto. Ho disliked to be
driven from his purpose, and attempted
again to preach, but was stopped by the
same species of interruption. He stood
silent and still, not knowing whether to
vacate the pulpit or not. Finally a man
whom he did not know arose and with
stentorian voice said : “ Men, this man
has come here to preach to you. Tou
need preaching to, and I’ll be if he
shan’t preach to you 1 The next man
that disturbs him shall fight me. My
name is Jim Bowie.” The preacher
said that after this announcement he
never had a more attentive and respect
ful audience, so much influence had
Bowie over ths* reekless and dangerous
el ament.
lx is no test of amiability to be good
natured in the few and rare momenta of
serenity when all human troubles seem
to have subsided. It is the man who,
when troubled himself, can preserve s
calm and cheerful exterior to cheer
those around him j who, when oppressed
by sans, has yet an encouraging word
for his brother; when disappointed him
self, has yet the disposition to point out
to others the star of hope in their hori
zon, who may be most oonfidently do
scribed ass really smisbis men.
lE^rSSSSI
where will sk* b sells fas sees Ik* again f
A Natch snfa—Oue put up where the
small boy can’t gat at Ik
Tax atom maple sugar is now ka*ra
Tn telephone has developed an en
tirely new school of hello cation.
Nature abboss a vacuum. That is
the reason them aresomauy fool* in the
world. Dame Nature was bound to fill
Uadies probably think that bongs are
Willing. They are sometimes fatal. The
oup that Goliath got in the forehead did
the business for him.
Wisconsin wolves have become so
hard up fo<- provender that they chaos
young men who port their hair in the
centre, lUp dear, pet lambs!
Thu following is. a. true copy of a sign
on an acauetsy out West; Freeman*
Huggi, aohool teachers. ‘Freeman
-teaciias the boys and Hugga thagjrls.
Mbs. Or iMUm MsMUßutshas arrive-1
in the city. jfer friends think her the
ersme.de to f*n*aa, but her
thinfa diflfamutty.— Jlepub
a sacs* * p
“J<m wist relation to jug)gp that
oM tMMdmssr I saw you with this
momiigr?” “Oh, no*mush; hn's mar
ried to my grandparents’ only
daughter.”
“ Yrm don’t know hew glad I ram to
see you, Clara, dear. ” “Oh, yes, I do, ”
replied Clara dear; “Johnny told me
that he heard you say yarn would rather
die than see me.” *a * t '
Mother —“ Now, Gerty, be -a good
gW, and give Aunt Jnlis a kisTand say
good night.” Gerty—“ Mb, no I if I
kiss her she’ll box my eatt, like she did
papa's lost night.”
Inspirations Come to writers without
the least warning, and in all sorts of
places. The foll&wlng must have struok
the oditoi of the Rochester Express
while he was getting his hair ourled:
‘“lt is not necessary for a man to keep
his mug at the barber’s shop, but he
must take it there to be shaved.”
A gentleman from the North waa
spending the evening with a Galveston
gentleman whose acquaintance he had
made. On reaching the house the stran
ger asked: “Have you any old Texaa
relics or curioaittm 1” “ Certainly, ”
was the reply; “allow me to
make you acquainted with my mother
in-lsw, (bxkvextm News.
“Those eigars I bought hare yester
day wore mighty bad.” Dealer— “ Bod?
Why, sir, I’ve sold thousands god thou
sands of thorn cigars, and you’re the
first one to Anil fault with them.” Ous
■ turner—“ I don’t know anything about
that, tflft I know that when I tried to
smoko—--” Dealer—“ Ah, I see, I seel
That’s where yon made * mistake. 1
supposed yon wanted them to treat your
friends with. I thought there must be
some ads take about ik”
wnippfrvo crttT.nnmr.
A parent who cannot govern a child
without whipping it ought to surrender
the oftre of that child' to some wiser per
son. Sportsmen once thought it neces
sary to lash their dogs in tracing them
for tho Held. They know now that the
whip should never bo used. Horsemen
once thought that it was necessary to
whip colts to teach them to start at the
word and pull steadily. They know now
that an apple is letter than the lash and
a caress better than a blow. If dogs
and horses gun bo thus educated with
out punishment, what is there in our
children which mnkch’it necessary to slap
and pound thorn ? Have they less in
telligence? Have they colder hearts?
Are they any lower in the scale of being?
We have hoard many old people say :
“If we were to bring up uuother child
we sliould never whip it.” They are
wise, but a little too iato. Instead of
God doing so little for -children that
they must ho whipped to goodness, He
has done so much for them that even a
whipping can’t ruin them—that is, as a
rule. But alas, there are many exceptions
to this rale. Many children are of suoh
quality that a blow makes them cowardly,
or reckless, or deceitful, or permanently
ugly. Whipping makes children lie.
Whipping makes them hate their par
ents. Whipping makes home on
pleasant —makes the boys run away,
makes the girls seek happiness anywhere
and anyhow. Whipping is barbarous
Don’t whip.
e
When a Western editor becomes in
dignant there is no end to his sarcasm
and fury. The editor of the St. Louis
Pont-Dispatch refers to a contemporary
by saying : “ Since the humorous editor
of the Republican took to wearing a
liver pad at the back of his head he has
developed wonderfully.” And a Leav
enworth (Kan.) editor, speaking of an
odious rival, says : “ He was not bom to
be clubbed or shot to death. A higher
fate (about twenty feet) awaits him, and
it is a consciousness of this that harrows
his soul by day and shadows his dreams
by night, till his mind, what little he
has, is overcome by a morbid sensitive
ness that sees the ghosts of his murdered
victims behind every corner, and an offi
cer in every bush. Let him alone. He
is undergoing, every day that he lives, the
expiation of his crimes, unmistakably
evidenced in the fires of hell that burn
in his heart and flame out in his face.
Outraged law and nature are gradually
getting even with him."
Thai* your son up to the editorial
business, and he will never bsooms a
defaulter. With the exception of pasts
and pencils, there is little for the nat
ural-bom defaulter te default,— No*m
York OommoroM Afrtrttotr.
