Newspaper Page Text
COLE MAI, . KIKBT. Ulura mm*
VOL. XI.
JXLIJAY COURIER
nbm6p/£ D every Thursday
—BY—
COLEMAN & KIRBY.
Wr uapc in the Court House
SEHEfiftL DIRECTORY.
guperior.Court meeu 3d Monday iu
May and 2d Monday in October.
Hon. James R. Brown. Judge.
<3eorge F. Gnbcr, Solicitor General.
COUNTY COURT.
Hon. Thomas F. Grrer, Judge.
Moultrie M. f-essions,County Solicitor.
Meets 3d Monday iu each month.
Court of Ordinary meets first Monday
in each n>- o nth.
town council.
J. P. Perry, Intendent.
M. McKinney, i. H, Tabor. I „
J. Huanicutr, J. R. Johnson, j Conl -
W. H. Foster, Town Marshal.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
J. C. Allen, Ordinary,
T. W, Crr.igo, Clerk Superior Court,
H. M. Bramiett, Slieritf,
J. H. Sharp, Tax Receiver,
G. W. Gates, Tax C ollector,
Jas. M. West, Surveyor,
G TV. Rice, Coroner,
W. F. Hilt, School Cimmissioner.
The County Board of hducation meets
ct lullijny the Ist Tuesday in Jauuarv
April, July and October,
RELIGIOUS SERVICES.
Methodist EjVscnpal Church, South.—
Every 4ih ■' undav and Saturday bofore,
by Rev. C. M. Ledbetter.
Baptiat Church—Every 2nd Saturday
and Sunday, bv Rev. N. L Osborn.
Methodist Ep scnpal Church—Fiver.
Ist Saturday and Sunday, by Rev. R
H. Robb.
FRATERNAL RECORD,
Oak Bpwery Lodge, No 81, F. A. M,,
meets first Fndav in each month.
TV. A. Cox, W. M.
1 . B. Greer, S. W.
}V. F. Hipp, J. W.
R. 7j. Roberts, Treis.
T. W. Oraigo, Sec.
TV. W. Roberts, Tyler,
T\ B. Kirby, S. D.
H. M. Bramlelt, J. D.
J. W. HENLEY.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
JAP PEJR ' <3 GORGLI A. i
Wi 1 practice in tfie Superior Court of the Blta
Kitlge C’rcuit. Prompt attention to a'l
iiGr-s intrusted to liis care.
M. 11. Sessions. E. W. Conrans.
SESSIONS & COLEMAN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
ELLIJAY, GA.
Will practice in Blue Ridge Circuit, County
Court Justice Court of Gilmer County. Leg&l
busineßS tolicitcd. -‘Promptness" is our motto.
DB. J. S. TANKERSLEY.
Physician and Surgeon,
Tend-rn liia professional services to the citi
Z€db of EiUjav, GYmer and surrounding conn
tics. All calls promptly attend'd to. Office
upstairs over the firm of Cobb & Son.
itliFE WAIOO THORNTON, D.D.S.
DENTIST,
Calhoun, Ga.
Will visit Ellijav and Morganton at
both the Spriug and Fall term of the
Superior Court—and oftener by special
contract, when sufficient work is guar
anteed to jmtify me in making the visit.
Address as above. TmnTM.li
DR. W. L. HARPER,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
ELLIJAY, GEORGIA,
Offerß his professional services to the citi
zens of Gilru?r and adjacent counties. All
cal s prom ly filled, day or night. Office up
stairs in Centra 1 Hotel, over store room.
4-22-1 v
Young men
Wuo wish a Xhokough preparation foi
Business will find superior advantages at
MOORE’S BUSINESS UNIVERSITY,
A'iXANi’A, GA.
Tae largest and hest Practical Business School
in the South. s3“StU(lents can enter at anj
- time. jEg~Bend for circulars.
T -THE
IIAWRENCE
PURE LINSEED OIL
TANARUS) MIXED
TAINTS
READY FOR USE.
W Tbe Best Paint Made.
Guaranteed to contain no water,
benzine, barytas, chemical*. rubber,
aabaetos, roein, gloss oil, or other
similar adulterattons.
A full guarantaa on every package
and directions for use, so that any
one not a practical painter oan uea li
Handsome sample cards, showing
aa beautiful shades, mailed free on
application. If not kept by your
dealer, write to us.
W. W. UWREKCE I 00.,
fITTWVMIIi PA.
THE ELLIJAY COURIER
■ The number ot insane persons In the
| ssylums sod almshouses of New York
State is thirty-three per cent greater
than it was five years ago. This increase
comes almost wholly from the shipment
of insane men and women to thiscoun-'
try from Europe. .
At Reading, Penn., a boy, aged seven,
has a mania for fire, and seeks to burn
up everything he can lay his hands on.
He formerly lived with his parents in
Philadelphia, where he cremated his
brother of eighteen months, and when
punished for it threatened to kill the rest
of the family. He was then sent to his
grandmother in Reading, where he has
roasted several cats, burned up shoes and
other wearing apparel, and lias made
attempts to set fire to buildings.
Steady industry is the only true path
to success, remarks the Cultivator. The
plodding man generally wins in the long
run. There is no royal road to wealth
any more than to learning. A few men
are suddenly enriched by speculation or
inheritance, but such wealth is seldom
permanent. Among the speculators we
only hear of those who win a prize; the
nine hundred and ninety-nine who fail
of success never announce their failures.
Only the hard-earned money is secure
in the hands of its possessor. The
safe business mau or farmer never
speculates.
Professor Cook protests vigorously
against the notion that poison ous honey is
occasionally produced. He says that all
cases of supposed poisoning from eating
honey may be explained on other grounds.
Bcmi people never caa eat honey with
out injury. Any one eating it in large
quantities without other food is liable
to colic. The fear of getting poisoned
honey greatly detracts from the demand
and price of this delicacy. As the bee
secretes the honey it could not taka poi
sonous substance into i*s system without
injury to itself. What will not hurt the
bees cannot do serious damage to human
beiDgs.
Mermaids, it is facetiously said, use
telegraph cables as skipping-ropes, but
wolves are scared by telegraph wires.
From Norway it is reported that at a de
bate in the storthing, while a- vote was
pending on a grant to anew line, a mem
ber remarked that, while his constituent*
had no direct interest in it, JKey would
support che yi->nt, . the wires
would drive away the wolves. It is said
that however hungry a wolf may be he
will never go to a spot that is inclosed by
ropes stretched on posts. It is stated as
a remarkable fact that since the first tele
graph line was established twenty years
ago, wolves have never appeared in its
neighborhood.
From explanations given by the Ger
man minister of agriculture, it appears
that Bismarck's scheme to drive out Poles
and settle Germans in Poland, is aimed
at the large landholders, not at the small
Polish proprietors, who are described as
“a sound, thriving, and -well-effected
class.” Bismarck sees 100,000 Prussians
emigrating every year, and this volume
of surplus he hopes to keep at home by
dispossessing the great Polish landlords,
who naturally desire a restoration of their
nationality. The present is considered
an opportune time for taking action, as
the agricultural depression is forcing
great properties into the market, which
the government can buy at a cheap rate.
This movement is not anew idea in Prus
sia. In 1807 Stein began the creation of
peasant proprietors, and there are now
1,400,006 of them in the country, adding
greatly to its unity and strength. It is
proposed to apportion out the lands ac
quiied to settlers in lots of ten to 100
acres each.
The New Hampshire forestry commis
sion, in a report to the legislature, recom
mend as a means of preventing damage
to forests by fires that the selectmen of
towns be constituted “fire commission
ers” for their respective towns, with
authority to appoint watchmen and
patrols when, on account of the dryness
of the season, they may deem it expe
dient to prosecute parties who may set fires
contrary to law, and to grant permits for
burning brush or waste material during
the summer season. The commission
also recommend that all persons be for
bidden under penalty to set fires between
the Ist of May and the Ist of October in
any pasture, field or other place, for the
purpose of clearing the land, if such
material to be burned be within a mile of
any forest, without first obtaining a
written permit from at least one of the
seectmen; to make all offenders liable
in a civil action to any person injured by
fire set without such permit for the
amount of damage sustained. When an
application is made for a permit it should
be the duty of the selectmen to proceed
at once to the place and examine care
fully the situation, amount, and nature
of the material proposed to be burned, it*
promixity to other property, especially
forests, the dryucas of the season, the
direction of the wind, tbe probability of
rain, so far a* it can be gathered from j
the appearance of the heavens, and when
practicable from the predictions given
out at Washington, all other cir
cumstance* which ought to have weigh
with a prudent man is deciding whetbe
• permit should be gives.
"a map or Bvtr lifb-its mvctiatioxs asp its tamt ro.vr kr.vs.•
ELLIJAY. GA„ TJU/I&DAY, JUNE 10, 1880.
SWEET MkMORIES
1 think sweet memories wfil not die,
But live, sad die notever.
* I think the heart's sweet memories tie
Will bounden be forever.
I think sweet memories will awake
That long have slept ami slumbered.
I think the longest night will break
In dawn and joys uunumberel
— T. O. Paine.
JOHN’S STORY.
“Well, would vou like to hear mv ad
venture in New Orleans?’’ John Bright
leaned bis elbow on the arm of the red
plush chair in which he sat, with a
thoughtful look in his dark eyes.
“Why, yes, of course.”
“By all means."
Eugene Carthon and Alia sister looked
eagerly at the handsome blonde in front
of them.
They had been talking about the New
Orleans exposition, which all had visited
the winter before, and naturally their
conversation, had drifted into personal
reminiscences and criticisms on the ways
and manners of the people of that beau
tiful Southern city.
“Did you really have an adventure?"
asked Nell, eyeing him questioningly
from under her long dark lashes. Tney
had intended to meet in the Crescent
city, but through some misunderstand
ing the Carthon. family had missed him.
Nell had always felt a little aggrieved
over this, just as if John had really been
to blame in the matter, and all allusion to
their sojourn in the South brought back
vague feeling of disappointment'
which hsd mingled itself with all her en
joyments while there.
Not that she cared anything for John
Bright. Oh, no; not even to herself did
she ever admit that. But then he was
Eugenes most intimate friend, and he wns
such a bright, companionable fellow,
how could she help liking him a little?
“just for Eugene's sake, you know."
She sincerely believed that it was her
love for her brother that made her so so
licitous always for his friend's comfort
and so anxious to m;.ke him always feel
at home and thoroughly welcome in her
father’s house.
“Well, go on with your story,” said '
Eugene, lighting a cigarette, with his'
sisters permission, and puffing away cvM
pectantly. “I'll be getting drowsy, pjtgl
ent *y. if you don't wake me ut> v.-ith ’ 9
thrilling episode.” ‘ *, B
“Well”—John twirled his blond
tache reflectively, ignoring the last. ■
mark—“l was walking down filed J
street one afternoon, when it begat, jig
rain, not viol on Ely. but enough to mi i9
man feel uncomfortable, and the fear
on a woman’s bonnet limp. Fortui>y' n Kr|
I bad an umbrella, which, of couutoto 1
immediately raised. Just as I dia so,
young lady came out of the large i
goods stores..belli"*-•>*. one stoott**** .
resolutfe a moment as though no j
f'"sKvJ>y the rain, yet an evident ar* -M
lety possessed her to reach the car.
1 ‘lnstantly I found myself in a str 1
dilemma. What should I do? Thenl** 0- *
a young lady, delicate and beaut<*tl
nchly attired in garments which the
would certainly damage, without J
slightest■ protection from the elemcr 1
while I, noPthree feet distant, was j J
sessed of an umbrella amply large enoi'Fdu I
to shelter two. It seemed like a piece
impertinence, yet on the impulse of •
moment I mustered all my gallantry, ana,. |
stepping forward, offered to escort her 1
to the car.
“To my surprise, and I must say pleas
ure, she accepted gratefully, and we
walked to the next comer to meet the
car. I noted then the extreme loveliness
of her beauty, which was of the pure
Creole type, and the marvelous finish of
her toilet, which showed in its richness
of coloring the Southern taste. I could
not censure her for her hesitation in ex
posing herseif to the disastrous effects of
the rain.
“When we reached the corner there
was no car,” John continued. “Being
in ‘Mardi-gras’ time, there was always
more ar lets delay. When the car did
arrive, it was so crowded there was not
a foothold. The next and the next
proved to be the same. Unconsciously
we walked on, the young ladv bv an
almost imperceptible guidance directing
our footsteps. We walked along the Rue
Royal quite into the heart of the old
French town, the young lady scarcely
seeming aware of the fact that we
had traversed so many blocks. I
was too delighted with her bright con
versation and naivette to wish to unde
ceive her, and so we walked along until
she stopped suddenly in front of one of
those gloomy French houses, so dreary
in exterior appearance, hut often beauti
ful and gay within. A high wall sur
rounded the dwelling, surmounted by
nails driven in so that the points pro
jected upward, a sure safeguard against
marauders. As usual, a high balcony
graced the front of the house. From the
gate—a massive iron-barred one—a stone
pave led up to the old-fashioned door.
“ ‘I feel very grateful,’ she said, lifting
her. big eyes to mine with a shadow of
timidity in their depths which made
them all the lovelier; ‘and’ she lie-itated
a little, ‘I know my father would wish
to thank you also, "if—if ■'
“ ‘lf you only knew whom to thank,’
I added, with a conscious shame at my
own lack of courtesy. I don't
know what prompted me to the action,
but instead of handing her my own card,
I gave her one of Frank Smith's, a young
fellow rooming with me at the St.
Charles, a drummer for a large firm in
Detroit. His name graced the card in
full, and also 'Tremoine & Leeman,’ the
name of the firm he was connected with.
It was a foolish thing to do, yet I never
expected to see the young "lady again,
and I suppose it occurred to me that -it
would be a good joke on Smith.
“To my great astonishment, she recog
nized the firm name.
“ ‘You must come in and see my
father.’ she said. ‘Mr. Tremoine is an
old fiictid of ours, and he will be so de
lighted to see you.’
“Into what "kind of a scrape had I got
ten myself? I ded’ned ascouiteouslv as
possible, trying to hasten away; but "just
th'-a an old gentlemen appeared at the
door, in answer to our ring at th > gate
for, as you remember, in New Orleans
■oat of the bells aie on tbe front pile.
“In a few words the young lady ex
plained the situation. With a true
southern hospitality he invited nr.s to
enter, thanking me in moat voluble terms
(or my kioduesa to bit daughter, facing
I would off nd by not accepting thdr in
vitation, I itcppcd in with them. As
usual in thi le French houses, the hsll
led into s little barren docking coort.
From this, \omefik, we entered into sn
apartment degsntly furnished.
“A servait took my umbrella aad hat,
and the oldgcntlrNun pushed forward a
handsome ctsy chair for me, seating him
self near ms. The young lady disap
spesred. rempeariag in a little while in
a charmingninnerjniess of garnet satin.
“I confed I was*i little dazed by the
sudden tur. affair* had taken, ana the
tete-a-tete wth the old gentleman (whose
name I ascetained to be De Chartre) was
most for he asked me a
score of qw # ions about Detroit and the
people tho|. all of which I, never .hav
ing been rt that city, wag r.bligaa ■to
answer at yandora, or frep- . pe reminis
cences of ~*s. -,iv *~cw> r me casu
ally. fiperior oourt'.
Si® JSMHf. *Ses’-
perate Sbbmil wlieo I chanced to perceive
that a pia o was behind me. During a
momentar Yjl in the conversation, in
which De was probably trying to
reconcile my'rai hjing information with
his own knowledge and conjectures, I
turned to the } <>ng lady, requesting
some musi<r. , v .
“To myjliv j sfie consented immedi
ately, thus saving her father from any
further surprises in the way of chaotic
gnessing on my part. She sang and
played quite prettily', and I found myself
even more prepossessed than I had been
at first.
“Aftor she had played several songs, I
rose to go, but as I did so,dinner was an
nounced, i(id jjvns urgently invited by
them both to remain. Again I saw that
to refuse vould be to offend, so, in order
to preserve Smith’s reputation from fur
ther damage, I accepted, resolving that I
would exei t my talents to the utmost iu
being entertaining. You see, I wanted
them to speak a good word for Smith if
ever they should chance to communicate
with this Tremofiie, whom I heartily
wished atjhe bottom of the sea.
“After dinner we adjourned to the
parlor—that is, the young lady and my
self—the old gentleman going off for a
smoke, in which I declined to join him.
“The rain, which had been mild at
first, now' turned into a raging torrent.
I ho windows,
’ully through
it crept under
l, bringing a
3-blooms that
r stems on the
it the inclem
le only made
of the apart
-5 hostess the
became more
er dark eyes
so typical of
i the Oreole i
Nffbw to what'
itted myself,
,nd Monsieur
.red upon the
he surprised
lender things
A flush of
was past ten
infringed on
me. I began
r do Chartre
3, coidially,
t a storm. I
ime is large.
Wo . y example accommodations. Remain
with us to-night.’
i “I thanked him sincerely. I could not
feel grateful cuough for such a warm and
I cordial hospitality. It is true indeed
that these Southerners have thd kindest
and most hospitable heirts in the world,
i An old and valued friend of the family
could scarcely have been treated moro
i kindly than I, a complete stranger, save
1 for the slight stamp of genuineness which
j ‘Tremoine & Leeman’ gave me in this
' most elegant and beautiful home, every
part of which betokened the wealth and
position of the owner,
j “A few moments later Jacques came to
show me to my room. With a lingering l
! glance, I bade the young lady good night.
It seemed to me that her beautiful eyes
I were filled with a shadow of regret for
j our brief acquaintance. Her father fol
lowed me to the court without giving me
several messages for Mr. Tremoine and
other friends in Detroit, all of which I
j promised to carry faithfully. Then, with
a courtly good night, he intrusted me to
i the care of the waiting attendant.
“My apartment was handsomely fur
nished, in keeping with the rest of the
house. It was apparently a back i jo-i
j connected with one in the front of the
house by heavy folding doors, across
which a red crimson vortierc fell.
“Jacques brought me a pitcher of fresh
water and some clean towels, and then,
mumbling,something in his unintolligi-
I ble Creole French, bowed himself out.
“I examined the room carefully, locked
all the doors except the folding one,
which I f'.und fastened on the other side,
and went to sleep thinking what a capi
tal joke that was on Smith, who was un
doubtedly reposing beautifully in No.
105, at the St. Charles, unconscious of
the strange escapade I had gotten him
into. I resolved to write to the young
lady as soon as I left the city, informing
her of my little deception, and introduc
ing the original Smith, whom I was quite
sure would fall head over ears in love
with her at sight. Poor Smith 1 I was
just mapping out his future most beauti
fully, when Morpheus seized me and car
ried me off into dreamland.
“About midnight I was awakened by
a slight aoi.se in the room. A terrible
presentment took possession of me. I
dared not move for a second. My knees
trembled, the cold drops of moisture
stood on my brow. I lay shivering as
though chilled by some actual, icy touch
for a moment, then my healthy, vigorous
physique rrasserted itself. I was no
coward evento myself. I rose steathily
and crept to the light, turning the full
blaze on suddenly.
“A change in the mom startled me.
The heavy |>ortiere was thrown aside, the |
folding-do >rs stood wide o;>en. Re- 1
solved to penetrate this mystery, I stepped
into the other room.
“A cry of horror escaped me sa I did
so. I stood in the middle of the floor,
petrified, the very blood freezing in my
veins. There on the bed lay a man with
bis throat gashed from ear to ear, tbe red
blood caging slowly upon the white
■ ouutorneuc nod the rich carpet beneath.
Hi* wide eyes were upturned to tfc# <wii
ing, his white fare transfixed with the
death agony.
“For a second I stood tilers as if
frozen to the spot, my senses reeling,
my hands clinched in a sudden agony of
mortal terror; then like a flash of light
ning the truth swept over me. A tcrnblo
crime had been committed. The respon
sibility was to be laid on me. In the
morning the police would come to arrest
me. What vestige of piowcr would 1
have to disprove it?
“With a sudden, quick energy, boro
of desperation, I went to my room and
; dressed myself, leaving not tho slightest
, tracc'or my pres-nec there. Assuring
1 myself that not a card or a slip of paper
. was left as a clew to my identity. I took
J my boots in my hand and crept noiscless
i ly down the stairway.
“When 1 reached the door beyond the
court, 1 shrank back in dismay. I had
forgotten it would be locked and barred.
I entered the apartment where I had
beca entertained the night befdrc, hop
ing to find a window unbolted. To my
surprise I heard voices and picrceivcd a
light emanating from the room adjoining.
Tne door between was slightly ajar. I
walked breathlessly across the room and
peeped through the crevice,
j “Horror of horrors 1 What did I sec
j there? The fine, courtly old gentleman
; of the night before seated at a faro table,
surrounded by a motley crowd—and my
; fine young lady, tho brilliant, sweet
voiced enchantress of tho dinner table,
dealing out faro blanks, opposite 1
“It was enough. I turned away, real-
I izing then that I was in New Orleans. I
had gotten into one of the worst dens of
the French city, and the beautiful Creole
was probably one of the notorious char
acters I had so often read of.
“No wonder my blood ran cold. What
if I could not escape? These were desper
ate characters witn whom I could not
cope. The outlook was terrifying.
“I tried ench window cautiously. They
all resisted my efforts to raise them; all
but the lst —that yielded a little. I
struggled mightily, with the strength of
despair. In "doing so my hand touched a
spring which I had not perceived before.
In an instant the shadow was pushed up
noiselessly, and with a stealthy bound I
leaped through, landing unhurt on tho
ground a few feet below.
“But what to do next? There was that
wall, surrounded by its rows of sharp
! nails. It would have been madness to
| have attempted to scale it. The gate was
j barred and fastened with a heavy chain.
i I could not cry out for assistance; that
would have meant certain death from
those desperate, dark-browed men at tho
faro table. What should Ido? Again
the cold drops of moisture dampened my
temple. I was frantic. What should I
do!”
John stopped in his narrative and lit
the cigarette Eugene had handed him a
little while before.
I “What did you do?” Eugene was im
| patient of the delay. He leaned forward
aiULionsly. .11 is own cigarette had gone
out. He had forgotten it in ms ntisortj
ing interest.
“Yes, what did you do?” Nell repeated
the question with a terrible anxiety in her
brown eyes. Her Kensington lay un
heeded on the floor, her elbows rested
on her knees, one hand supporting her
dimpled, enger face. Her breath came
short and fast. She awaited tho sequel
with sympathizing, anxious eyes.
“Why”—John gnve an energetic puff
at his cigarette—“l awoke!"
Eugene sank back in his chair, and
Nell collapsed physically anu mentally,
picking up her work with a disgusted
air.
“Sold, by Jove!” exclaimed Eugene,
after a pause, looking admiringly at his
friend. “It is the best sell of the
season.”
“Oh, you horrible wretch!” cried Nell,
when she had recovered her breath; “and
so it was all a dream?”
“Yes,” answered John, coldly. “I
awoke in No. 10.5, at the St. Charles,
with Smith asking mo if I mistook him
for a brick wall or a lamp post, that
I was pounding him so vigorously.”
Nell did not seem to care much for tho
sell so long ns the beautiful Creole had
proved a myth. The story had awakened
her consciousness a little, and she seemed
a little shyer of John for several days
afterward. But I am happy to say
that she was a sensible girl, and when
John asked her if she only loved him for
“Eugene's sake,’’she answered candidly,
“No.” Thus came the sequel to “John's
Story.” —Fannie I. Shcrrick.
Honey Lenders and tlio Babylonians
The greater part cf the so-called Egibi
tablets are agreements for loans in which
the borrower binds himself to return the
amount together with the interest pre
scribed in the contract. Some of these
contracts are really statements recording
a loan, which were drawn up when the
payment became due, in order to levy
i execution on the borrower. When a
' Babylonian wanted to begin business he
; often borrowed upon his own property,
so as to get the necessary capital.
Several tablets record the agreements of
two parties mortgaging their houses
with the (stated) intention of creating a
capital and of starting business. The
system of taxation in Babylonia also made
money lenders indispensible, especially
to agriculturists, who had to pay their
taxes before harvest, and were therefore
obliged to borrow on their future crops.
Interest was generally, though not always,
Eaid by the month,' and capital was paid
ack by installments; the interest was
about one-sixtieth per month, or twenty
per cent, per annum. But what in
creased the profit of the money lender
was the system, which is still in use in
Asia Minor, of paying taxes in kind. The
agriculturist had to buy grain when the
price was high, and when the harvest
came to realize at a low price. Hence a
money lender was often also a corn and
grain lender; many contracts record loans
of corn and money, and the time mentioned
for repayment is generally harvest time.
GonUmporary lUtiew.
Ifjp, HJp, FJhurralij!
The Minnesota Norwegians have again
been celebrating he discovery of Ameri
ca by Niels Niedersson the Bed. The
exercises opened with the reading of the
Djeclaratjoa of Fjlndependjience and
closed with the singing of
HJoil Cjolumbia, KJ happy JUud.
rjail, K;heavcu Ijorujrttroe
wbjich wins gjiven wjith • viim that
IJftVd the Fjroof off the wjgwvnJT
BUDGET OF FUN,
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
A Rational Change—Testing His
Due—What He Forgot to Kay—
Not Worth It— Two Appro
dative Sonia, etc.
“Arkansaw,” exclaimed an ardent
man, “why, it is the best State in the
Union, a State above all others in rc
lourccs and the exactness with which the
criminal laws are enforced.”
“I am astonished to hear you speak
to well of the State," eome one replied.
“Why so?”
“Because several years ago, during an
exciting campaign in Indiana, you avow
ed that there was no such thing as justice
I in Arkansaw, a State where a man car
tied his life in hand.’”
“That is very true, my dear sir,”)but
I was a politician then.”
“And What are you now?”
“Alana agent.”— Arkansaw Traveler. '
Testing His Love.
The other evening as a Detroit Fitx
noodles called on his girl he found her
with tears in her eyes and her face tied
up.
“It’sthe awful, awful toothache!” she
sobbed as he asked for an explana
tion.
“Try camphor."
1 ‘But the dentist says I must have two
of’em out! Will you go with me?"
“Of course.”
“And will you—you also have a tooth
pulled?”
“Certainly.”
“Two of ’em?"
“Yes.”
“Before I do?”
“Yes, darling.”
Then she flung the haudkerchisf from
her face, brushed the tears from her
eyes, and gave him a long, lingering pro
crastinating kiss on the left jaw. She hud
simply been testing his love and devo
tion. They will go to Niagara Falls on
their bridal tour. — Detroit Free Fret*.
What He Forgot to Say.
It was at a K street residence and the '
young man had been going often and
staying late until the girl felt the monot
ony. One night about 11 o’clock the
conversation dragged and for a minute
or two he sat in a cogitative mood with
his hand to his forehead.
“I had something pleasant to tell you,”
be said finally.
“Yes," she responded, inquiringly,
"what was it?"
“Um—um—let me see,” rubbing his
head, “I can’t just think what it was.” j
“May be it was ‘good night,’ ’’ she
suggested.
He looked at her for a minute, but she
never flinched; then he went "way, and'
np to date he has not beer ,Tr "A- j
inoi-va. Critic. jL
■! .... . ‘S ' l
. Not World It,
While Judge Walton Was at. work in
his chamber at Portland on e day many
years ago drawing an opinfU a knotty
case a certain iawyer came in. Thfi
lawyer (he is now deceased') was a thin,
looth-pickish, dudish sort of man, whom |
the judge did not like very well, and
than whom lie had rather seen Daniel
Pratt himself walking into his chamber.
“Well. Brother Lightweight, what
can I do for you this morning?” asked
Judge Walton, hoping to got rid of the
fellow.
“Nothing,” he replied; “I only came
in to make you a call.”
After a disagreeable silence the judge
looked up again and asked:
“Brother Lightweight, why don’t you
get married?”
“Because I can’t afford it. How much
do you supposeit costs me to live nowf”
The judge said he wouldn’t guess.
“Well, it costs me (8,000 a year for
just my own living.”
An expression of surprise came on the
judge's face. “Lightweight,” said he, “I
wouldn’t pay it. It isn’t worth it!”—
Lewiston (Me.) Journal.
Two Appreciative-Bonis.
A distinguished Maine gcutlcman says
1 (hat some years ago he was making a
journey down East when the train became
snowbound. It was then evening, and
there was no hope of progress unul day
light. But near at hand was a little vil
lage which boasted a public hall. It was
suggested that the passengers adjourn to
the hall and listen to an address by their
distinguished fellow-traveler. He finally
consented to do his part; the hall was
warmed and lighted, and the lecture took
place. The next day the gentleman was
approached by a sturdy young yoeman,
who said:
“You’re the man who made the speech
last night, aint you?” The identity having
been duly established, he went on: “I
want to tliauk you for it; I don’t know
when I’ve enjoyed myself more than I did
while you were talking.”
The orator experienced the genial glow
whichuuconventionalaudunsoughtpraise
is wont to inspile, and he cordially took
the honest fellow’s hand.
“Yes,” the young man continued, “it
was a good thing; you see, my girl is on
the train, and while you were lecturing
she and I had the car to ourselves. ”
Sutton Record.
Long-liived.
“One of the curious traits about those
French-Canadians,” said a fly man yes
terday, “is the fact that they never and e
of old age. Some seven years ago a
couple of us were Working a Great West
ern train , and we beat a Frenchman out
of sls on the three-card monte racket.
He was a little, old, wilted-up specimen,
seeming to lie all of seventy-five years
old, and he didn’t get the game through
his head before we jumped the train at a
small station. The othet day I was com
ing to Detroit from the Host. and when
the train stopped at St. Thomas I got out
to stretch my legs. I had scarcely
touched the platform when roraebodv
grasped me and a voice cried out;
“ ‘He is da maan. lie bait me out of
feeftecti dollaire”
“I looked around to find that same old
Frenchman hanging to my arm. I
couldn't see that be had change.l a par
ticle in looks or grown older by a day.
i “‘I want me feefteen dollaire'.” he
shouted ra he danced around. ‘Dis man
he throw one—two .rthree cuard, and he
laike me fecit.an dollars sod keep!'
' 'i tried to brass it out, but it was no
ONI DOLLAR Pm- Asbul U*- rf
go , and the result was (hat I had to fork
over the money. He stood there ss the
train moved off, and shaking his fist a*
me he ahouted:
‘“Ah! I forgot! You doan't psy me
no interee’ on zhat feefteeu dollaire foi
seventeen yaares! I see you again—meb
be seventeen yaares more!’ ’’ — Detroit
Free Frees.
Business Ruined by a Mule.
Many years ago down in Idaho, during
a gold excitement, a good many men
went into the country to make money
outside the gold hunting industry. Their
’ idea was to make the other fellows delve
j for the gold, while they appropriated it
: afterward. Rollin Daggett, afterward
; Nevada's C.ingressman, established a
ferryboSt on a small creek, and uamed
the place “Death's Ford,” at the same
time inventing a musty legend to the ef
fect that it was thus named bemuse so
many lives hod been lost in an attempt to
cross it. The stream was not more than
u dozen yards wide, and the water
nowhere more than two feet deep, but he
rigged up a ilatboat and pulled it back
and forth by a rope contrivance. When
ever tho prospectors crossed he regaled
! them with horrible tales of the treachery
of the stream, and the remorseless quick -
> sands which had drawn so many men
' nn<l mules to terrible deaths.
In the night when he ferried people
over he would cay ion them not to get
too near the cd; t of the boat, as a fail
overboard was c/Lain death. By letting
the dim old lantern go out, and making
slow timi. he frequently impressed the
passengers with the idea that the stream
was half a mile wide. For night trips
he charged |5, but if the wind was high
and the weather bad he struck sanguine
prospector.! for much lnrger sums. In the
day time $1 was his modest charge. He
went along in this way for several
months, the men who rushed to the hills
lo iking upon him as a benefactor to his
race bv this conquering of so formidable
itn obstacle to travel as “Death’s Ford.”
One day Charley Stoddard, the pro
moter, appeared on (he bank with a mule
and boarded the flatboat to cross. In
the middle of the stream, just when the
ferryman was telling how dangerous the
place was, the mule grew restive and
fell overboard. One leg caught on a
rope, and he got his head under water,
and, unable to extricate himself, was
drowned. When he was cut loose he
lay there in tho iniddlo of “Death’s
Ford.” half out of the water, so that all
who came a’ong saw what a miserable
sham the ferry war. and that auy four
footed animal could walk across. Dag
gett tried to get the mule away, but he
was too heavy to budge, and so he lay
there in plain sight for weeks, until Dag
get’s business as a ferryman was ruined.—
Carson Appeal.
Tli# Clothes of Senators.
The dres of statesmen grows more
and more democratic frnot year to year.
In day, if his clothes in the
fflaseu a ar* any index of the time, a
| gentleman's wardrobe, must have cost a
small fortune, and it was as gaudy as
i that of aWa hington belle. He must
have silks and satins, gold shoe buckles,
and ruffled shirts. His vest was em
broidered, his stockings weraof fine silk,
.'nd his head had to be covered by a wig.
In Webster’s time very few of the
Senators appeared on the floor in any
other sty! • of coat than a swallow-tail,
and it is only since the war that great
men have erme town to plain every-day
clothes. Captaiu Bassett, the aged
Senate employee, says! “Daniel Webster
wore blue or brown clothes, and his coat
was always adorned with brass buttons,
llenry Cluy came to the Senate in L.'Ack
swallow-tail, and the collar of his shirt
was so large that it made
his head look like that of
John the Baptist on a charger. John
Randolph imported all his clothes from
England, and when he rode out on horse
back to the Senate, he wore leather
breeches with white top boots.” Every
one has heard how one of the early Presi
dents refused to receive one of his rela
tives at a State recaption because he had
not a dress suit, and'half the troubles of
our foreign ministers have been in regard
to the dress in which they shall appear
in the courts of Europe. The only man
in the Senate to-day who wears a swal
low-tail coat at all times is Senator Con
ger, and ho is perhaps the most demo
cratic in manners of that body.
The favorite dress of the Senator of to
day is bluck broadcloth, double-breasted
frock coat, high standing collar open at
the neck, and boots. Still, business suits
are fast creeping in, and fully one-third
of the Senators wear cutaway coats.—
“Carp," in Cietelund Leader.
Captive Man-eaters.
In a letter from India, describing the
wonders of the City of Rajpootana, a
correspondent of the London Telegraph
says: On the dawn-lit hills above hangs
a temple of the sun, looking down into
the Quitn, a deep pass through the hiHs
filled with shrines and fountains; and if 1 '
you drive through the rosy street which
opens opposite the Tripolia, the Indian
esque manner of it all is well maintained
by a low, one-storied building containing
a row of strongly-barred cages. Hcre.full
upon the open square, as if it were part
of the natural appurtenauccsof allapoot
capital, are confined eight man-eating
tigers, criminals o' the neighboring
jungles and hills, taken “red-handed”
and imprisoned as state captives. The
huge brindle beasts crouch at the bars,
savagely glaring forth upon the moving
crowds outside, too busy with pleasure
and traffic to notice them. Each tiger has
tasted deep of human blood -one mon
strous brute lying on his back lias de
voured seven, another ten hnmau beings, ”
and the tigress growling in tlio last den is
declared by ber cu-todiau to be known to
have slaughtered fifteen men. women and
children. Most of such malefactors are
shot, but these have been snare 1 in pit
falls, wh<-re the tiger is left until hunger
has reduced him to extreme weakness,
upon which the captors manage to draw
hun forth an-1 shut him up in lifelong
imprisonment.
The petroleum wells of L'pper Kurmah
have been worked for 2.000 years and
still produce abundantly. They are gen
erally four feet six inches ration- and are
slink to n depth of 210 to d'H) feet. The
Uuttnesr hav- never learned the secret of
i refining, sml tlier exports have not been
j Urge. _
Am'c'&l ice i wed tows of the
1 English t usurer*.
NO. 13.