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COLEI AH A lUitBT, Editor* and Proprietor*.
VOL. XI.
ELLIJAY COURIER.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
COLEMAN & KIRBY.
•W* Office in the Court House
. EEHEBU DIRECTORY
Superior Court meets 3d Monday is
May and 2d Monday in October,
Hon. James R Brown, .T'.ufJie.
George F. Gol cr, Solicitor General.
COUNTY COUKT.
Hon. Thomas F. Grer, Ji**pe.
Moultrie M. |c**it
Meets 3a Monday iu each menth
—t
Court of Ordinary meets firet Monday
in each month. ’
4*
town council
J. P. Terry, Intendent.
M. McKinney, 1. U Tabor, I „
J. Huunicutt, J. R. Johnson, j C ' om '
W. H, Foster, Town Marshal.
COUNTY OFFICEBS.
J. C. Ailon, Ordinary,
T. tv, Craigo, Clerk Superior Court,
li. M. Rramleti, Fheriff,
J. H. Sharp, Tax Receiver,
O. W. (tates, Tax Collector,
Ja*. M. \Ve:t, Surveyor,
G Rice, Coroner,
v/. F. llill. School C< ramisa’oncr.
The County Hoard of t ducation meets
at lillijay 1 lie Ist Tit sday in January
April, July and October.
BFUGIOUB SERVICES.
Methrdht Episcopal Church, [South.—
Every 4>h f-undny aud Saturday before,
by Rev. C. M. I<edbetter.
Baptist Church—Every 2nd Saturday
and Sunday, by Rev. N. L Osborn.
Methodist Ep-sopd Church—Ever
lit Saturday and Sunday, by Rev, R
H. Robb.
FRATBIiNAIi RECORD,
Oak Battery Lodge, No 81, F. A. M.,
meets first Friday in each month. 1
W. A. Cox, W. M.
I . B. Greer, S. \V. ‘
W. F. Hipp, J. W.
It. Z Roberts, Trc is.
T. W. Craigo, See.
IV. W. Roberts, Tyler, ,
T. B. Kirby, S. i>.
11, M. liramlett, J. D.
X '
—„ - 'J„ J-giJL,gB
‘ j. wrfimtY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
JASPER, GEORGIA
Wi 1 prretice in tlie Superior Court of tlie blue
Ridge C rcuit. Prompt attention toalbusi
ne b intrusted to bis care.
M. M. Sessions. E. W. Coleman
SESSIONS & COLEMAN,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
ELLIJAY, GA
Will practice in Bias Ridge Circuit, Oonntj
Court Justice Court of Gilmer Comity. Legal
business solicited. "Promptness" is our motto.
DB. J. S. TANKERSLEY.
Physician and Surgeon,
Tendon his professional services to the citi
zens of Eriijay, Gilmer mid Eurronudiog conn
ties. All calls promptly attend and to. Office
upstairs over the firm of Cobb A Son.
(U FE WALDO THGRNTOK,O.D.S.
DENIIST,
Cai.iiocn, GA
Will visit Ellijav und Morganton at
both the Soring and Fail term of the
Superior Court—and of toner by special
mi.tract, when sufficient work is guar
anteed to jmtify me in making tho visit.
Address as above. fmaTfU-li
DR. W. L. HARPER,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
ELLIJAY, GEORGIA,
Offers Iris professional serviecß to the ei i
zottt of Gdmer and adjacent counties. All
c.ai s prcm ly filled, diy or niplit. Office up
stairs in Centra' Hrtel, over store room.
4-22-ly
Young men
Who wish a I'hobocoh preparation foi
Busin es<, will fiud superior advantages at
MOORE’S BUSINESS UNIVERSITY,
ATLANTA, GA.
Tire largest and licit Practical Business Schoo
in-the Soath. can enter at anj
time. jßß~3sud for circulars.
T -T'HEt
liMRENGE
PURE'LINSEED OIL
TANARUS) MIXED
BUNTS
READY FOR USE.
Ou*>aatMd ter oontatin no waiter,
W. W. LAWRENCE t to.,
PITTMUWUi PA
THE COURIER.
Every Amcrcan Indian costs the
United States government $3,000 a year,
estimating the Indian population at
200,000 and the appropriation at $7,000,-
00°. ___________
Canadians are beginning to worry over
their loss of forests. In the more thickly
settled parts of Ontario only ten percent,
of woodland remains, and wells must be
dug to the debt of forty or fifty feet
where formerly water could be reached
at six.
In the capito’, Montgomery, Ala., is
religiously preserved a large Bible,
printed by the American Bihle society in
1851, and bearing upon a flyleaf this sen
tence: “The oath of office as first Presi
dent of the Provisional government of
the Confederate States of America was
administered to Jefferson Davis upon this
Bible by Howell Cobb, President of the
Provisional Congress, at the front portico
of the capitol in Montgomery on the 18th
day of February, A. D. 1861.” The
book, it may be added, is still used in
swearing in governors of the State.
Twenty years ago the chief feature of
the plains beyond the Missouri, was the
countless herds of buffalo everywhere to
be seen. Now all have disappeared.
Theodore Roosevelt says there are not
4,000 buffalos in America. It is said one
may travel 1,000 miles ou the plains and
never be out of sight of a dead buffalo
nor within sight of a live one. But Har
per’s Bazar has the curious statement
that anew species of Buffalo is develop
ing in the woody precipitous Tegions of
the mountain raDges; it shuns the open
plains, lives in small herds, is endowed
with great activity, and is a clear caso of
the “survival of the fittest.”
( It is often asked, when an ocean-going
vessel has keen lost at sea, and it is sup
posed she has foundered, why nono of
her timbers rise to the surface again and
float, as submerged wood will nearer
shore. The explanation is that if the
vessel has been sunk in deep, water the
pressure to which it is Subjected will be
so great that a certain,quantity of water
will be forced into the pores of the wood,
and thus render it so heavy that even
when detached from the ship a piece of
the timber could uoc float. It is because
. , n f, tHs.eqn-'tantlv and rauidlv increasing
pressure, ~r6o, tnat ft 'diver cannot apv
s.end to any very great distance below
the surface.
In his new book telling of life in Corea
Percival Lowell mentions this matter of
interest for those whose curiosity is so
healthful as to run round the globe it
self: Four little stars flash out upon the
brow of Nam San, the great South Moun
tain, within sight of the chief city, Soul,
‘‘Poised so high in the heavens,” says
Mr. Lowell, “they might well be the
light from other worlds.” But in fact
they are watch-fires, a signal to the city
that all is well in Corea. They burn for
fifteen minutes and vanish. All through
the country a cordon of such beacons is
established, which transmits the message
of peace and safety daily, or rather
nightly, to the capital.
Mr. Hazen, the third assistant postmas
ter general, makes the following sugges
tions to the public: Write or print your
name and address, and the contents of a
package, upon the upper left hand corner
of all mail matter. This will insure its
immediate return to you for correction,
if improperly addressed or insufficiently
paid, and if it is not called for at desti
nation it can be returned to you without
going to tho dehd letter office. If the
patrons of the mails w’puld avail them
selves of this privilege it would enable
the department to restore at least ninety
per cent, of all the undelivered matter.
Letters would be returned free, and the
parcels upon payment of the return post
age-
A remarkable statement was made by
an English member of parliament in the
course of a recent debate in the house df
commons. He had vainly endeavored to
induce the government to lay upon the
table a return of the amounts expended
upon war ships and their present esti
mated value. Failing to obtain official
information on the subject, he investi
gated matters himself, and the result
which he announced considerably aston
ished the house. It appears that the ex
isting navy of Great Britain has cost
1210,000,000. and that its present value,
after making allowance for ships that
have become obsolete, does not exceed
$00,030,000, showing a total lo.ss of
$150,000,000.
The Cincinnati Commercial- Gazette is
authority for the statement that “the affix
title of esq, is out of date, and its use is
in bad form. In addressing a gentle
man now you must prefix Hon. or Colonel
or General as a compliment to his states
manship or military genius. Whether
he is President of the United States or
president of a ward club, the leader of
an army or the leader of a clique of
voters, it is all the same. In a case of
rxtrerae doubt you may address him ts
Mr., but under no circumstances is a mil
itary title under the grade of captain al
lowable. Sometimes, in accosting a man
whom you have already met, the slipping
of b't same fame your memory may cauao
embarrassment, but a Uttie presence of
mind will earn you Address him as
, General, aid you art ail right."
“ A HAF OF BUST IAFE-ITS FLUCTUATIONS AND ITS VAST CONCERNS.”
ELLIJAY, GA„ THURSDAY, JUNE 24, 1886.
every day work.
Great deeds are trumpeted, lorn’, bells are
rung,
And men turn round to see:
The high peaks echo to the paeans sung
O’er some great victory.
And yet great deeds are few. The mightiest
men
Find opportunities but now and then.
Shall one sit idle through long days of peace,
Waiting lor waUs to scale!
Or lie in port until some Golden Fleece
Lures him to face the gale!
There’s work enough, why idiy, then, delay?
His work counts most who labors every day.
A torrent sweeps down the mountain's brow
With foam and flash and roar,
Anon its strength is spent, where is it now!
Its one short day is o’er.
Bat rife clear stream that through the |
meadows flows
All the long summer on its mission goe3.
Better the steady flow; the torrent’s dash
Soon leaves its rent track dry.
The fight we love is not the lightning flash
From out a midnight sky,
But the sweet sunshine, whose unfailing ray
From its calm throne of blue lights every
day. *
The sweetest lives are those to duty wed,
Whoso deeds, both great and small,
Are cloee-knit strands of an unbroken thread,
Where love ennobles ail.
The world may sound no trumpets, ring no
bells;
The Book of Life the shining record tells.
—The Critic.
The Rose of Jerusalem,
A cold, cutting wind from the north
blew across the barren, naked cliffs of
the Devil’s river, and the barrencr, barer
plains that stretched away as far as the
eye could reach. But the sky above
these arid deserts was of a dazzling hue,
and the waters of the river were as clear
as crystal. There is an Indian story
concerning the limpid clearness of this
stream.
The traveler approaching and seeing
the pebbly bottoai at a depth of—as he
thinks—two or three feet, boldly plunges
in and goes down to be seen no more.
Hence its prettier, though more sug
gestive, Indian name, “The Waters of
Deception.”
Upon these arid, wind-swept prairies
and cliffs cne secs, here and there, balls
of what stem to be dried grasses, prob
ably roiled up togethor by the racing
These balls lodge in the
cracks and crevices of the cliffs, and be
come dead and dry as the winter
_ „ . „ _ .
peared tf> lie crossing the plains, drew
vein and( called his companion's attention
to the dsty and dusty balls that the wind
was driying before it.
“Wbat do you suppose they are?”
asked the elder man.
“Bunches of grass, or the withered re
mains of birds’ nests.”
“Birds’ nests. not a solitary tree
except yon scraggy mesquite in sight?”
said the other, racing his mu,-tang after
a ball flying by and catching it deftly as
he leaned from his saddle. He returned
to his companion and threw it to him.
“It is the Sempervirens, tho ‘Rose of
Jerusalem,! the ‘Resurrection Plant.’ ”
“A plant? This dry, dead bunch of
withered grass and sticks?”
“Keep it until you get home —keep it
three months if you like, then put it
into a saucer of water and see what hap
pens.”
“I will send it to Narcissa,” said the
young man, putting it with several others
into a pocket. “She has quite a collec
tion of curious plants already.”
The Comte do Saint-Cyr, the fore
most engineer of the day, the prime
mover in the gigantic scheme of con
necting the Atlantic and Pacific by a ca
nal through the Tehuantepec Isthmus,
was visiting Monsieur de Ohalusse, an
old friend of his, in a small town in
Southwestern Texas. Of a wealth yatid
ancient Lorraine family, the self-exiled
Comte de Chalusse had come to Texas
during the epidemic of emigration that
swept over Germany and France, when
all the ill-starred Society of Mayence sent
over enthusiastic Germans by the fhip
load. A friend of Salm-Salm, Chalusse
had visited the Bophienbu'rg near Nas
sau, and shared with the Prince the
vision of a future empire upen the banks
of the Llano and the Rio Grande. When
the Society of Mayence failed, and Salm-
Salm returned to his Rhine castle, leav
ing the Sophienberg to the owls and
bats, Monsieur de Chalusse returned to
San Antonio, and late in life' married a
beautiful American from one of the
Southern States. When he heard that the
great engineer had come to America, and
was seriously undertaking the task of
cutting the great canal, Chalusse wrote
to him, urging him to tome to San An
tonio for old friendship's sake.
Saint-Cyr responded as cordially to the
cordial letter of invitation, and curious to
see his old friend, followed his letter as
soon as practicable.
The meeting was affecting. The
Comte de Chalusse poured out a torrent
of questions concerning his country, his
old home. Saint-Cyr recounted his
triumphs, his sorrows, his joys. It was
the meeting of brothers. A neat serv
ing woman brought in refreshments.
They did not see her.
After,two or three hours of uninter
lupted enjoyment, wherein both often
talked at once, Madame da Chalusse, still
beautiful, though no longer very young,
appeared.
“Messieurs, I am sorry to disturb, but
dinner has been waiting for half an
hour;” then, seeing the untouched re
freshments, “Kdmonde, I wonder at
your thoughtlessness—Monsieur de Saint-
Cyr must be faint.”
Chalusse looked from the waiter to his
wife in comical dismay, but Saint-Cyr
replied, courteously:
“Madame, I have thought of nothing
but the nlca-nre of seeing an old friena
for the first time in thirty years."
“Have jrou found him much changed
by hi* ill-fortune?”
“111-fortune? My dear lady, I consider
him the most fortunate of men. He
hasn't d< served such happiness. ”
HU admlr'ne glance pointed hU re
"mark. The lady m<de some gay reply
nd the three we t in to dimer
The table wa ■ set in the < our yard oi
Un- house, which was built U the airy,
pleasant Mexican fashion. Large trees
that grew in th*ftop.-n space shaded the
impromptu salla-a-raanger, and flowers in
pots of Mexican earthenware, bloomed
upon the surrounding verandas and bal
conies.
“Where is Nsrcissa?" asked Monsieur
do Chalusse, as they toofJtheir seats.
As he spoke, a young lady entered
upon the upper fhwzzn and presently en
tered the courtyard a little out of breath.
She was about tttaeteeh or twenty years
of age, and fitly clad in summer white.
“My daughter,, this is the old friend of
your father, the Comte de Saint-Cyr, of
whom ycu have spWten heard. This is
my only child, Rene."
Narcissa put out her hand and ex
claimed :
“Monsieur, is II possible? If you only
knew how delight ad we arc. We have
talked of nothiwsf bot you for the past
two mouths; in fact, ever since we knew
that you were tfeful the Great canal for
us.”
Saint-Cyr looked at her wonderingly.
What fair flower of Prance was this
bloomiDg in the new world? She had
her father’s straight and rather cold
features, but her mother’s “dark, vivid,
and eloquent eye-s.” She had her father’s
stately presence apd her mother's beauti
ful hands and graceful bearing. Her
smile was exquisite, her voice rich and
sweet, her glance direct and brilliant, yet
modest.
Saint-Cyr was charmed. He drew a
gentle sigh of regret for his long past
youth. Did he kfcow how the young gfrl
opposite him regarded him? How could
he know her thoughts of his lion-like
head with its crown of thick, silky whito
hair; his black eyes, the fire of which
no age would ever dim; hia majestic
erect figure; his air noble, at once im
perial and winning?
What a pleasant dinner it was. The
great engineer thought it was the pleas
antest hour he had ever spent, ana said
so afterward. The scent of oranges was
in the air, and in the cool shade of the
colonnades Narcissa’s favorite flowers
spread their silken leaves and shed odors
of jasmine and roses.
Then in the later evening, when the
stars were out and the
“ Crescent moon, a silver boat,
Hung dim bAiind the trees.’’
the music from the military band on the
Plaza coming to fhem mellowed by the
distance, they sat- and spoke of France.
“I have longed to go to France,” said
Narcissa, to Saint-Cyr. “But papa says
he will never retu.B to this country; and
no wonder, since Lorraine is no longer a
French province; 'but,” dropping her
voice for his ear altpie, “an old Mexican
woman, a fortuae-tiJlcr, says I shall live
in France some day. Tell me of
France.” -
“My child,’£halnsse, “thing*
“Papa,” she said gravely, “you should
not complain. Before ’72 you had lost
the battle of Waterloo; now, you have
won it.”
“That is a consolation that never
occurred to me, ” said her father, amused;
“bat just at present I happen to an
American.”
“I shall be the happiest woman in the
world,” said Narcissa, “when I can go to
Franee, look about me and say: ‘So this
is my country; here my father’s family
for centuries past lived and died, loyal
subjects to the soil f”
“‘Subjects of tbe soil?’” repeated
Saint-Cyr. “After 1 all, Edmonde, the
feelings of the highest class and of the
lowest, even the adscript! gieboe, find
the same expression. It is the love of
country that is the great want of the mid
dle classes.”
The conversation drifted to the dis
cussion of-the great social problem. The
engineer had his own views of the sub
ject, and gave them eloquent expression.
Narcissa sat beside her father and listen
ed, as Desdemona sat beside Brabantio
and listened to the Moor.
Saint-Cyr thought of the fair Venetian,
and wondered If she were fairer than his
country-woman.
The next morning he rose before the
sun, and stepped upon the stone balcony
adjoining his room. A figure in white
moving among the flowers in the court
yard caught his eye. It was Narcissa
with a watering-pot in her hand. She
looked very lovely in her cool garments
of some thin white stuff, her favorite
flower—poor Josephine’s “Souvenir de
Malmaison”—in the loops of her heavy
dark hair. She looked up presently and
caught sight of him, smiled, and with a
“bonjour, monsieur,” invited him to de
scend. She showed him her collection
of rare plants and flowers, and when he
paused before the gem of all, she offered
him the single bloom it bore, and bent to
cut it off.
“Mauy thanks, mademoiselle, bat I
believe I would rather not have that
one.”*
She paused and turned her splendid
eyes upon him, disappointed.
“Wnv, monsieur, it is the rarest flower
I have.”
“Pardon, mademoiselle: the choicest
one you have you have not offered me.”
She look seriously at him.
‘ ‘ls it possible? Where is it? Show it
to me, monsieur.”
“And if I do ”
“It is yours if you want it.”
He put out his hand and touched the
rose in her hair. She smiled brightly^
“Is the souvenir your favorite rose
also, monsieur? It is mine, as you see;
but you are no botanist. It is by no
means the choicest flower I have. Will
you have this?-or this?” indicating the
buds on the bush.
‘Tt is fhe rose in yoor hair, mademoi
selle, that I ask for.”
She unpinned it and loosened her hair
at the same time; it WI upon her shoul
ders in thick curls.
“Oh, how awkward I am!” she ex
claimed, laughing; “see what you have
made me do, monsieu*. You don’t de
serve the rose.”
“But you promised it to me.”
“And a Chalusse should keep her
word."
She pinned the flower upon his coat.
She was a goodly height; he did not
dwurf her at all, although he towered
above most men.
“Brunehilde,” he murmured.
“Am Iso tall?” she asked. “There!
II hew decorated you, monsieur; you are
{ now aknigbt of trie tose; it should be a
' fleur-de-lys instead.”
And she went off. holding bank the
1 fl iod of bdr tbst hong from her shoul
ders fer h low the wa it He followed
bar with bit trot, thinking deeply,
A week passed, a delightful week to
the Chalusses, but more particularly to
their guest.
One day a little package and a letter,
postmarked “Presiuio del Norte,” came
to N*reissn. She opened the letter first,
then cried out:
“From Victor, maman;he is on the Rio
Grande.”
“What does ho send you?”
“That isa secret,” said Narcissa,blush
ing slightly, and going out of the room.
“Victor Bembert is ray nephew,” ex
claimed Madame dc Chalusse to Saint-
Cyr; “he is traveling in Western
Texas.”
“And Mademoiselle—Narcissa—”
The lady was sharp-wit):ed. if a trifle
near-sighted, and replied, r jndily:
“Narcissa and her cousin are brothe*
and sister, monsieur. Ido not approve
marriages between cousins.”
Saint-Cyr and Madame de Chalusse
were alone, so he took courage.
“Madame, ” he said, earnestly, “what ;
I am going to say may sound absurd, j
The diffcrence'iu age is very great, but 1
your daughter Is very beautiful. Is it !
absurd for me to say that I love her, and I
would give the world to marry her? Do :
you think she oould love me? Look at
me—l am past sixty 1”
He walked up and down the room.
He would he superb when ho should be a
century old. Madame de Chalusse ad
mired him with all her heart. A little smile
flickered about her lips. She rose and
went to the door and called Narcissa.
The young lady came in with a saucer
carefully held in her hands.
“Well, mnman?”
“The Comte de Saint-Cyr wishes to
speak to you, my daughter.” Then to
Saint-Cyr, in a lower tone: “Pardon mf,
monsieur, but I am not a Frenoh woman,"
and then she went away and closed the
door after her.
Narcissa advanced slowly to a table,
and set thereupon' the saucer. A dry
ball of faded-green, withered grass wai
in it, floating upon the surface of the
water.
Saint-Cyr watched it curiously. The
plant, apparently dead, slowly revived,
opened by degrees, 'and as the revivify
ing water permeated it* roots it expanded
more and more, its color became frea h
and moist, and finally it lay upon ths
saucer a lovely flower—a green . roaql
“What is it?” asked Saint-Cyr.
“Monsieur, it is the rose of
the emblem of life—the ever-living,
ns thq water applied to it restores®
freshness and beauty, so does v
part life— fresh life and youth
heart of age. Love never grov^B "
She looked at him, and
down, ashamed of tier midacit^H
Saint-Cyr started, and thenjHiSlg|g
umtly to him, ki-sing lier^^^^^H
And so tlie world knowH||||iß
greatest man of his (lay
afternoon of life won for a w'H
and beautiful woman who lovlH
votedly. — Clauitia M.
A Man’s Fight With a Woll
A London Neics correspondent
about the fourteen wolf-bit ten
who were sent to Paris for treatment
M. Pasteur, says: . Y
One of the finest men I ever saw was
a peasant coachman in his prime, who, to
save a woman from the jaws of the wolf,
engaged in an epic struggle with tho
rabid animal. I aid not know what his
antecedents were when he entered, and
was so struck with his quietly resolute
air and lordly carriage that I asked
whether he also was a nobleman in diffi
cult circumstances. He saw the wolf on
the woman, and went up to seize it by Ihe
scruff of the neck, knowing that if he
did so it would relax its hold to turn on
him. He meant to hold it in such a way
that it could not bite him until he or
somebody else could kill the brute, but it
was too quick for him, and caught him
by the left arm. He seized the neck with
the right hand, and getting astride on the
wolf, pressed it down with all his weight
on the ground, and then got a kgfe
firmly on its loins. When the bravo
Moujick coachman, with his left
arm all the time in the mad wolfs maw,
was kneeling on the animal he saw a
hatchet and called to the owner to give
it to him, but the feeling of avarice pre
vailing in the latter, he cried, “No, no;
if I do the skin will be spoiled.” The
unconscious hero tlion stretched out his
right hand to seize the implement, in do
ing which he had to relax the pressure of
his kuce, which enabled the wolf to seize
the other arm. His left arm was nearly
dead from pain, loss of blood, and inju
ries inflicted on the muscles, which are
badly larcerated, but he resolved that
either ho or his rabid adversary should
peiish, and, making a supreme effort,
fot it between his knees, with Which he
cld the body tight, threw himself for
ward, clutched the hatchet, half raised
himself, and with the left hand inflicted
such a blow on the neck and shoulders
as to cleave the body in twain. What
was remarkable in him was that he did
not seem to know he was worthy of any
sort of admiration. It is also note worthy
that his companions who described the
fight did not elect the hero of it their
head man when they were coming to
Paris. His wounds were hideous, and
the flesh of the right arm in rags.
Plant Movement*.
Professor Goodale, in a lecture in Bos
ton on “Plant Movements” said: Owing
to the fact that different flowers open and
dose at different times, it is possible to
construct, in a climate like tha. of north
ern Europe, a floral dial which will mark
the hours with tolerable regularity, but
in a very variable climate) like ours, such
a dial or floral clock is an im|>oasibility.
At the Botanic garden all attempts to
make the floral dial have been lamentable
failures,, for some of the flowers which
ought to open at 0 o'clock would remain
closed until near noon, while the noon
filants wouldjopen just when they pleased,
f attention is paid to some of the com
mon flower* of the seashore, it will Ire
found that among them are two or three
trustworthy weather flowers, wh'ch will
close before a storm and opcu aeon after
it haa passed. Tue only trouble with
them is that they do not aa a general
thing foretell the storui very lmg b 'fore
it begins to rain, and almost any weather
prophet can dm wellssthat.
By a Jspaness process, seaweed' it
usds into piper so trans|i>ent the'it
i oi a/ he substituted for wiodni^^* 1
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
The Neighbor's Wish—A Woman’s
Courage—They Always Bite-
Some Pungent Scotch Re
torts—The Prairie Chicken.
The other evening at a concert a long
haired pianist was accompanying his per
formance at the instrument with epilep
tic contortions. An old lady was carried
away with admiration.
“Ah, how grand it is,” she cried,
“you hear the noise of the cannon 1 The
city is taken by assault—they fight in the
streets—the soldiers are pillaging the
houses!”
“Alas!” sighed a neighbor, “if they
would only carry awsfj the piano, too!”
FrcncK Fun.
*■ ' A Woman's Courage. ■*
“War is a terrible thing. The first
fight I was in was the battle of Shiloh. I
tell jou, boys, my heart wns in my mouth
when the rebels commenced firing onus,”
said'old Tommy Hayfield to visiting
neighbors.
“You were a coward, Tom," remarked
Mrs. Haytield. “It would doubtless have
frightened me if I had been a soldier in
that battle; but it wouldn’t have scared
me till my heart jumped into my
mouth.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” retorted the old
man. “You arc s woman, and a woman
never lets her heart get in her mouth.”
“Humph 1" ejaculated the old lady, “I
suppose you thiuk that the reason a
woman never gets her heart in her mouth
is because she hasn’t an v heart?”
“No, my dear,” replied tho old war
rior, between whiffs of tobacco smoke,
“it’s becauso if her heart was in her
mouth she couldn’t talk.”
They Always Bit?
A good-looking, well-behavod stranger
had been stopping in a couutry town in
this State for three or four days, when
one day, as a dozen men were hanging
around the hotel doors, a humble youth
with white eyebrows and lowered head
passed along, leading a calf,
HMkdas if it were an every day thing,
■fought of this until nitcr
, -. the
fn, that
M
W-f
Hr ;i 'll
ijjp I- li"' Iralil-C
There were
;'g§PTir, ,I’irl they r meed
i ■pwL He gue-'-Til In'*!,
was [t!;e cil nil the
was only two ounocr
he raked in tho pot and the
tho calf passed on, a man drove
up in a buggy and called out:
“This ’ere game has been played all
over the county, and it’s time tomovo.om
somebody! Where’s the villain?”
“Mere I am," answered tho stranger.
“I arrest voul Get in'o the buggy.”
HU satchel was ready and ho got in,
and it was a whole day before the
villagers found out that tho man with
tho buggy was a confederate employed to
do that very thing. —Detroit Free Preset
Pungent Scotch Retorts.
Scotchmen arc fond of an argument,
and delight to pick flaws in an opponent's
logic. Two blacksmiths were once con
versing as to which was the first trade in
the world. One insisted that it must
have been gardening, and quoted, from
Genesis, “Adam was put into tho
garden of Eden to dress it, and to keep
it.”
“Ay, John,’’ retorted the other, who
had stood up for his own trade; but whae
made the spndos?”
The reply recalls an old story illustra
tive of the pride of a Highlander in his
clan. A MacPherson and a MacDonald
were disputing os to which of their re
spective clans was the oldest. The Mae-
Pherson, waxing emphatic in assertion,
said:
“Why, mon, aMacPherson went ashore
with Noah from the ark 1”
“Well, thit may be; but he found a
MacDonald there to tak him by the
hand!”
The Rev. Mr. Campbell, of Selkirk,
was much annoyed by the dirty water
flowing from a brewery gear the manse.
He spoke to the brewer, a Mr. Haldane,
about the nuisance, saying it was con
trary to certain acts of parlfnment.
“Acts of parliament!” exclaimed the
brewer. “Acts of parliament, indeed!
It would be more like your profession if
you were expounding the Acts ofThe
Apostles.”
The minister, rot unfrequently, when
reproving an offender ’against good
morals, drew forth n ropartea which
am’ised*him by its w'.lty eiasion of his
ceniurc. Anwv-g tli • j n*. s!i loners of the
I’c \ Dr. Ca.:i >e4. of c'i'.a, was Janet,
an old woman who s l >ua yarn for a liv
ing.
One evening, on returning from the
market-town, whore she hail sold her
yarn, and drank too much whisky, Janet
encountered her minister.
“Oh, Janet,” said he, “I see you’re
rather reeling.”
“Deed ay,“sir,’’she promptly retorted,
“ye ken we canna aye be spinning.”
The Prairie Chicken.
The prairie chicken is the leading
! game bird inhabiting this region.. It is
| somewhat smaller than the ordinary do
mestic hen found scratching in the gar
den and flies faster when you are shoot
ing at it. It seems to have acquired the
I fly habit early in youth and it hangs on.
After a hunter has shot $S worth of am
munition into the limitless void from
• whence the prairio chicken recently flew
he is seldom adverse to stating, for pub
' lieation if necessary, that in bis opinion
I it* fly education has been fsr from ne
' fleeted.
During this season of the year the
prairie chicken U engaged In looking the
ground ever end chanting it* low, capti
vating melody btfors break fast. A* soon
at tha weather will permit, tha ha i will
withdraw from the whirl of social til#
ONE DOLLAR P. r A--, la i4 TUM>
and lay seventeen aahea-of-gum-shoe col
ored eggs in a nest in the grass. Seldom
awaiting to be asked she then takes her
seat ana for the space of three almanac
weeks seems to be lost in meditation.
Probably one of the most pleasing
sights in nature is a female prairie hen
thus buried in thought and specuUting
as to how she will probably feel after
waiting three weeks for breakfast
At the end of the time seventeen
young prairie chickens come out of the
shells and commence to fly while the hen
gives up her sedentary life and swallows
a young and unexperienced grasshop
per.
1 August 15th the local paper announces
in the first editorial that “prairie chick
ens are now ripe.” This means that the
minions of the' law will not talk about
arresting you if yon shoot one on or after
that date. The prairie chicken is now
much wilder than before. As soon as
the sixty-dollar bird dog sits d<Twn vio
lently on the short and stunted rose bush
the chicken flies up. The experienced
hunter at this point shoots and brings
down the bird'. The one who isn’t quite
so seriously charged with experience
blazes away and kills the dog. Also he
frequently arranges to have his
gnn explode and blow off three of his
fingers.
Prairie chicken, properly cooked, is
much sought after by the epicure. Also
by the man who is pretty huqgry. Asa
humble representative of IheTatter class
we have frequently overpowered large
and satisfactory quantities of cookra
prairie heu with the best of results.
The thoughtful student 0/ cupfoG*
events lias probably noticed that u.\ A
a far from perfect life. There are draw
backs even to prairie chicken mastica
tion. There is the bird shot which it
brings on to the table concealed about its
person. When coming down on to a
Ciece of prairie chicken spare-rib with
oth feet, figuratively speaking, it is
very uncomfortable to have a shot shove
a tooth into your jaw bone about an inch
and a half. ' After a protracted engage
ment with roast prairie chicken seasoned
with No. 8 shot we have had our teeth
become so over-loaded with lead that
our under jaw has hung down like an old
boot sole ripped off clear back to the
h {Dak.) Bell.*
Lives of the Presidents. jl
.-rtfibYliil L'lO’/elamT Leader: Uuf fflendsSt
Cleveland will take you aside and whis
per emphatically that the President wfH
never marry. They will tell you, and
how triflKt is I know BoV; that theortty
women that the President ever really
lOved has l>een in her grave for move
itixi Iwenty-liveyojirs. iGI ujyt her tlujjL
swPwTirn Be w 35 a cnool teacher in a
Jiftle town of New York, when the down
hid just begun to come upon his lip, and
she was sweet sixteen. They loved, but
were too poor to marry. Cleveland had
decided to go West to make a fortune,
when his sweetheart became sick, and
wrthin a few days died. James Buchan
an's love jilted him when he was a young
man, and ho never courted another. Fill
more had much the same of
Cleveland in that he was too poor’ to
marry when he first fell in love. He went
off and spent three yea is at Buffalo with
out seeing his sweetheart because he was
too poor to nay the traveling expenses of
one hundred and fifty miles which lay
Detween them. Most of the Presidents
have been true to their first loves, and
the only instance of a President marry
ing again is that of John Tyler, who
was too bashful to kiss his first wife
during their engagement, but was bold
enough to marry a young girl shortly
after her death in the White House.
The first three Presidents married wid
ows, and Washington had had one or
two love affairs before he got Martha
Custis. Jefferson was a good match
while he was in the White House. He
was a widower and true to his first wife.
Marti n Van Barer, was also a widower
President, and though he said sweet
things without number, he did not talk
love. Jackson’s wife was buried in the
dress made for her White House recep
tions, and Arthur put a memorial win
dow to his wife in Bt. John’s chinch
while he was President, and ahrays sot
in her old pew.
Btrilt TJp Dudes.
A fashionable tailor who has the trade
of the majority of "well young men, took
the reporter aside and told him how the
dude was made up.
“The first thing,” hesaicl % “is to build
out the chest. This is accomplished with
a sort of combination corset shirt, worn
next the body. It shapes down the waist
jsicely and is padded to flit out the hips
and chest. It is made light and is not
Wo warm. The latest are made of the
lightest kind of wire. The trousers are
puddl'd back and front and the calves
are nicely filled out with wire lining. The
vest would show padding if too much
were put in, boa very little is ucd on
each side of the chest. Th: magnificent
broad shoulders are made into the coat
With cotton. The same material is gen
erously and artistically distributed in the
shoulders and chest. The collar is cut
high, and with the high lmen collars now
worn they admirably conceal the tbin
pipe of a neck common to the genus
aude. That man,” pointing to the duds
who had resum'd his coat and broad
Bhouldeis without having struck a blow,
“weighs about Iff) pounds, and he is
built up to look l'O pounds. Oh, no,"
said the tailor, walking off, “all men we
not what they seem, and we t iilors profit
by the fact.” —Philadelphia New.
The Pillar of Love.
•
In a certain district in Russia there is
to be seen, in a solitary place, a pillar
with this inscription: “Greater Jove
hath no man than this, that a man lay
down his life for his friends.” That
pillar te’ls a touching tale, whi h many
must have heard. It was aw 11 reg on,
infested with wolves, and. as a little
party trivoled a'ong, it soon becane
plain that theao were on the> tra-'k. The
pistol* were fired; one horse after an
other was left to the ravenous wolves,
till, as they catre nearer and nothing re
mained to lie tried, the faithful servant,
in i pita of the espovtnlationa of hi*
ms-ter. threw himself in tha midst of
them and by his own derth raverl b*
mnatsr. That pillar tua:k> tha ipot
Where hi* bonei were found: th it in
a rfnt on records tha noble ia taaei* of
stticbweut.
NO. 15.