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If some celestial railway could be im
agined, the journey to the sun, even if
our trains ran sixty miles an hour, day
and night, and without a stop, would
not travel so far in a human lifetime.
To borrow the curious illustration of
Professor Mendeuhall, if we could imag
ine an infant with an arm long enongh
to enable him to touch the sun and
burn himself, he would die of old age
before the pain could reach him, since
according to the experiments of Helm
holtz and others, a nervous shock is com
raunicated only at the rate of about 100
feet per second, or 1637 miles a day, and
would ueed more than 150 to make the
journey. Sound would do it in about
fourteen years if it could be transmitted
through celestial space, and a cannon in
about nine, if it were to move uniformly
with the same speeed as when it left the
muzzle of the gun. If the earth could
be suddenly stopped in her orfiit, and al
lowed to fall unobstructed toward the sun
under the accelerating influence of his
attraction, she would reach the central
lire in about four months. I have said
ifshe could be stopped, but such is the
compass of her orbit, that, to make its
circuit in a year, she has to move nearly
19 miles a second, or more than fifty times
faster than the swiftest rifle hall ; and in
moving twenty miles her path deviates
from perfect straightness by less than
one-eighth of an inch. And yet, over all
the cireumfereuce of this tremendous
orbit the sun exercises his dominion, and
every pulsation of his surface receives its
response from the subject earth.
A CLOSE observer in the Providence
Journal gives the following incident:
The spiders were wise prophets yester
day morning, for their wonderful in
stinct taught them that the day would
be line, and that the sun would shine on
their gossamar houses. Therefore they
spread their pretty lady mantles on the
drenched grass, and patiently waited for
the storm to pass away. The morning
broke with a dreary outlook, but when
we saw these fairy structures spread
thickly over the lawn, and hanging with
dainty grace upon the pendant branches
of a fuchsia in full bloom, we felt sure
that the little workmen knew what they
were about. Neither were our humble
friends mistaken in their calculations,
and snugly sheltered under their silvery
tents, they doubtless enjoy the sunshine
quite as well as the superiar race, whose
perception in regard to the condition ot
the elements are far less delicate and
reliable than the instinct possessed by
these insignificant ♦ insects. We have
watched the lady mantles for many years,
and seldom have the spiders proved false
prophets.
Title Memphis (Tenn.) Appeal relates
tin toHowing in its account of the recent
bin ning of The steamer Gov. Garland in
the Arkansas river : “ Oapt. Now land’s
conduct was heroic. Finding it impossi
ble to rescue his wife and two children,
he was compelled to forsake either the
former or the latter. He had no time to
hesitate, for the flames were already
scorching the passengers. Capt. Now
laiut kissed his little children farewell,
and seizing his wife plunged into the
water. He looked back, but the little
children he could not see, for his eyes
filieu with tears, such as only a father or
mother can know the meaning of. A
deck-hand, named Billy Staples, whose
home is in Memphis, witnessed the sad
farewell. Seizing both of the children in
his strong arms the brave man leaped
into the water and carried them safely
to the shore.”
There was a curious comedy of errors
that came near being a tragedy at San
Francisco recently. A sailor returned
from sea, and found his young wife fond
ling a baby. Without giving her a
chance to say that the child was a neigh
bor’s, he knocked her down and then
tried to throw her from the window. A
crowd gathered below, aud the man stab
bed his wife in the back, aud jumped
from the window and escaped unhurt.
But some of the crowd had entered the
house, and, going to the wrong room,
awoke a sleeper, who emptied his revolv
er on them, but was dragged to the street
and was just being hanged to a lamp
post when the mistake was ascertained,
though not before a rib or two was bro
ken by the mob. The woman was not
much hurt, aud is anxious to have her
husband find bis mistake and return.
In Southern India children are mar
ried at eight years of age. Native fa
thers consider it a disgrace to have single
girls in the family, aud endeavor to get
them married in childhood, but when
married they do not always go to their
husband’s homes. The marriages are
generally arranged by old women, who
from family to family to find suitable
matches. Widows are treated very bad
ly by the natives; they are made as mis
erable as possible. An American lady
doctor, has a large practice among the
native women.
A coRRESPOnDEN-R tells the Weldon,
N. C., News that about two miles from
Enfield,on Mr. Glasgow’s farm, a solid
wall, built of brick, has been discovered
under the ground. Most of the brick
are two and a half inches thick, eight
inches long and seven and a half wide.
The full length .and width of the wall
has not been determined. An ancient
looking sword and axe have been dug
; AOUt of the ground .adjoiniog.
al)c (Dglctl)ovpi: tftljo.
BY T. L. GANTT.
1.M1.E WED’S DEFENCE.
My bredren an’ sistahs, I rise for to ’splain
Dis mattah dat you’s talkin’ ’bout—l hopes to
make it plain.
I’s berry sorry dat de t’ing hab come befo’ de
church,
Fob when I ’splains it you will see dat it am
nuffin much.
My frien’s, your humble speakah, while trab
lin’ here below,
Hab neber cared to hoard up gold an’ silver
foh to show,
We’s only stoppin’ here a spell, we all hab got
to die,
An’ so I always tries to lay my treasahs up on
high-
Dar’s jest one t’ing dat pesters ice, an’ dat am
dis, you see.
De ravens fed old ’Lijah, but de critters won’t
feed me.
Dey’s got above dar business, an’ jest goes
swoopin’ ’roun.’
An’ nebber turns to look at me a-waitin’ on de
groua’.
1 waited mighty sartin like ; my faith was
pow’ful strong ;
I reckoned dat dem pesky birds would shuah
ly be along.
But oh, my frien’ly hearahs, my faith it cotch
ed a fail,
De aggravatin fowls went by, an’ nebber
stopped at all.
De meal an’ flou’ was almos’ gone, de pork
bar’l gittin’ low,
An’ so one day 1 ’eluded dat I bad bettah go
To Brudder Johnson’s ’tater patch an’ borrow
jest a few;
’Twas evenin’ ’fore I got to start, I had so
much to do.
It happened dat de night was dark, but dat I
I didn’t min’.
I kuowed de way to dat ’ar patch, ’twas easy
null' to fin’,
An’ deu 1 didn’t car’ to meet dat Johnson, for
I knowed
Dat he would sass me ’bout de mess ob ’taters
dat 1 owed.
I got de baskit full at las’, an’ tuk ’em on my
back,
An’ den was gwineto t< te ’em off, when some
thin’ went ker-whack.
I t’ought it was a cannon, but it just turned
out to be
Dat Johnson’s ole hoss-pistii a poiutiu straight
at me.
I tried to argufy wid him; I ’pologizeda heap,
But he said dat stealin’ ’taters was mean as
stealin’ sheep.
Ob course I couldn’t take dat ar; it had an
ugly soun’;
The only t ing for me to do was jist to knock
him down.
My bredren and sistahs, de story am all told
(Of course I pounded Johnson till he yelled
forme to hold;)
An’ now 1 hopes you ’grees wid me dat dis
yere case an’ such,
Am berry trillin’ mattahs to fetch befo’ de
chu’ch.
THE MODEI. SUBSCRIBER.
“Good morning, sir; Mr. Editor, how are your
folks to-day ?
I owe for your next year’s paper; I thought
I’d come and pay,
And Jones is agoin’ to take it, and this is his
money here ;
I shut down tendin’ it to him, and then coaxed
him to try it a year.
And here is a few items that happened last
week in our town ;
I thought they’d look good for the paper, and
so I just jotted ’em down.
And Here’s a bushel of russets my wife picked
expressly for you ;
A small bunch of flowers from Jennie, she
thought she must do something, too.
You’re doin’ the politics bully, as all our fam
ily agree;
Just keep your old goose quill a flappiu’, and
give them a good one for me.
And now you are chuck full of bussiness, and
1 won’t be takin’ your time,
I’ve things of my own I must tend to—good
day, sir, I believe 1 will climb.”
The editor sat in his sanctum, and brought
down his fist with a thump,
“God bless that old farmer!” he muttered,
“he’s a regular jolly trump.”
And ’tis thus with our noble profession, and
thus it will ever be still;
There are some who appreciate its labor and
some who perhaps never will.
But in the great time that is coming, when
Gabriel’s trumpet shall sound,
And they who have labored and rested shall
come from the quivering ground ;
Aud they who have striven and suffered to
teach and ennoble jhe race,
Shall march to the front of the column, each
one in his God-given place ;
As they march through the gates of the City.
with proud victorious tread ;
The editor and his assistants will not be far
from the head !
■v
A Slight Mistake.
The gentleman who does the Annanias
and Saphira business of the Terra Haute
Express says that a city minister opened
his frontdoor suddenly and surprised a
guilty looking man who was just in the
act of depositing a neatly-covered basket
on the doorstep. The meeting was not
rapturous. “Ah !” said the minister,
rushing out and grasping the man by the
collar, while he plied a heavy soled boot
vigorously under the coat-tail of his visi
tor, “ what do you mean, you villian, by
leaving a baby ou my door step ? Ah. I
have you, you scoundrel! I’ll show- you
how to abandon an infant to the cold
mercies of the world.” And all these re
marks were punctuated by kicks. “ I
havn’t left any baby at your door,” said
the man, taking up the basket and lifting
the cover. “ I brought a right fat turkey
for you, but I’m d—d if you shall have
it now, if you were starving,” and he
walked away.
And we are not done with elections
yet by a good deal—ratification next.
LEXINGTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 13, 1877.
[WRITTEN for the echo.]
THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION.
The Organic Law.
NO. IX.
THE JUDICIARY SYSTEM CONTINUED.
Section sixth, of article fifth, the judiciary,
provides for one Justice of the Peace for each
militia district in the State; to be elected by
the voters of the district; also presides for one
Notary Public to be ex officio Justice of the
Peace of each militia district to be appointed
by the Governor. Their jurisdiction is not
allowed by this section to exceed one hundred
dollars. In cases before them involving
amounts of fifty to one hundred dollars, if
either is dissatisfied with the decision of the
presiding justice or notary, the case can be
carried by Appeal to the Superior Court. The
Appeal is a simple remedy requiring all costs
to be paid, and bond and security given for
the eventual condemnation money.
In causes before these magistrates, invol
ving amounts less than fifty dollars, if either
party is dissatisfied with the decision and de
sire to take the case to the Superior Court for
correction, the remedy is by certiorari. In
this class of cases, whenever the party carries
the case to the Superior Court, there is inter
minable vexation and confusion to the liti
gants growing out of this remedy by certiorari.
It is within the observation of every citizen
that these large amounts in the aggregate of
these causes of claims less than fifty dollars
each, sued in these courts. The result is, that
there are many certioraris in the Superior
Courts. A certiorari involves a brief of the
the evidence betore the presiding magistrate ;
exceptions to his errors of law, and these er
rors specified—the payment of all costs and
giving bond and security for the eventual
condemnation money. It is often much lon.
ger pleading than Bills of Exceptions for the
Supreme Court. This very voluminous plead
ing makes these causes necessarily more ex
pensive and the result is too often that injus
tice is done, because the small amounts in
volved do not justify such an expensive reme
dy. There is no good reason why the remedy
for carrying all cases of any amount in which
the justices have jurisdiction, should not be
by appeal. It is a summary remedy and re
quires no pleadings to perfect the appeal. The
trouble connected with the certiorari is, that
the party using the remedy has three months
in which to certiorari the case, and too often
the evidence by lapse of time becomes indis
tinct and too inaccurate by attempt to have it
recalled from mere memory alone of the
pleader or the magistrate, after several weeks
or months have elapsed. This may seem to
many a trifling thing, yet the business be
fore these courts of suits for sums of less than
fifty dollars, has grown to be a very important
matter in the general business of the country
everywhere in the State. It cannot be reme
died too quickly by authorizing appeals in all
eases before Justice’s Courts.
Diverging for a moment here, it may be
noticed thatthe Constitution here provides,that
there shall be one Justice of the Peace for
each militia district in the State, and the jus
tices of the peace shall be elected by the qual
ified voters of their militia districts.
The Notaries Public arc, by this article of
the constitution, appointed one for each mili
tia district by the Governor. Here is one in
stance of the vast appointing power given to
the Governor. Formerly, each district had
two justices of the peace aud they were elect
ed by'the people of the militia districts.
THE JURY SYSTEM.
Section 13th, of article fifth of the Constitu
tion, declares that “The General Assembly
shall provide by law tor the selection ot up
right, intelligent persons to serve as jurors.
There shall be no distinction between the
classes of persons who compose grand and
petit juries.” Unquestionably it has been re
alized that our present jury system is quite
unsutisfactory; and not at all well adapted to
the public necessities. The jurors, grand and
petit, are all drawn from the same jury box.
Herein of course, is the cause of general
complaint against the present system. The
ages now required by jurors are from twenty
one years of age to sixty years of age. In
drawing the juries under the now existing
plan, it often, perhaps too often happens, that
two-thirds or more of the grand jury are just
past the age of twenty-one and have never
had experience in jury duty. The duties of
grand jurors are generally the gravest of all
duties to society and government. They have
charge of all criminal investigations by pre
sentment or indictment; overlooking the pub
lic records of the county; the examination of
the reports of County Treasurers; public
roads and bridges and much, if not all very
often, of the general county business come un
der their official body. Such duties require
experience of maturer years; a knowledge of
the general interests of the count}-, and the
best possible attainable intelligence in the
members of the Grand Jury. The system in
Georgia prior to the present one, was much
better in practice, and much better adapted to
the interests and condition of the public.
Therefore it is better to have, as formerly, two
boxes from which to draw grand jury and
petit juries—the grand jurors draw from one
box, the petit jurors from a different box.
Another feature that should be observed as
heretofore, is, that grand jurors should be se
lected from the ages of say, forty to sixty
years; and petit jurors from the ages of say,
tweniy-one years to forty years. Under the
present mode of selecting juries, very fre
quently, very young men, who have no fa
miliarity with the duties imposed on grand
jurors, are selected to serve, aud the conse
quence not unfreqnently is, that these duties
are loosely considered and negligently dis
charged to the great detriment of the public
good. It would hardly be exaggeration to say
that the present jury system is objectionable
to nine-tenths of the people of Georgia. That
great palladium of popular government—that
great city of refuge to the citizen, when life,
liberty, character, property, and all that is sa
cred to a people are involved—the Jury Box,
has too often been the theme for impassioned
eloquence and praise, for the writer of this, at
this day of jurisprudence to commend by anv
eulogistic comments. Strike out this present
system with its raw recruits—and with another
system clad in anew constitutional uniform
give us the “Old Guards” for the Grand Jury:
the recruits for the Petit Jury.
Section 14th, of article sth, abolishes the
old Inferior Courts. The general uniformity
in county business produced by the inferior
courts, and the general, if not universal satis
faction following these organizations hsve al-
ready been elaborated. This section forbids
their re-organization—and the only way to re
call courts organized as were these, is by a
new Constitution or constitutional amend
ment.
Section 15th, of article sth provides, that:
“The General Assembly shall have power to
to provide for the creation of County Commis
sioners in Such counties as may require them,
and to define their duties.” The administra
tion of the county business by these county
commissioners has been considered in another
communication. But please observe,
that this section does not authorize the
Legislature to establish these Boards of Com
missioners in every county by one general law
for the State ; but the section only authorizes
them to be organized by the Legislature in
such comities as may require them This ex
plains at once why there is no uniformity in
all the counties of the State in this feature of
the Judiciary system.
Section 16th, of article sth, “abolishes the
county courts as existing in every county in
Georgia, in 1866 aud 1867, and up to the adop
tion of the present Constitution in 1868 ; and
also empowers the Isgislature at its discretion
to abolish any of the class of district or county
courts as now permitted—some have not, yet
such as they are with all their dissimilarity,
are at the mercy of the Legislature to exist or
not.
EDUCATION.
Article 6th of the Constitution, containing
three sections, declares “that there shall be a
thorough system of general education to be for
ever free to all children of the State, the ex
pense of which shall be provided for by taxa
tion or otherwise." The taxes required by the
Constitution here to be applied to this pur
pose, are poll tax, special taxes on shows and
exhibitions, taxes on sale of spirituous and
malt liquors, the proceeds from the commuta
tion for militia service, and, by law, one-half
of the annual rental of the Western and At
lantic Railroad. Here is seen at once what
numerous resources are made to sustain the
general educational system. The benefits,
blessings and advantages of education gener
ally diffused are so great and well known,
that for any writer to bore readers at this day
with arguments in favor of education would
be almost stale nonsense. The present plans
as mapped out by the Constitution are so
unwieldly, that this feature of the Constitu
tion has resulted more in confusion than of
general public good. The trouble arise from
the mode of collecting and disbursing the funds
which have been set apart for education under
the general system. There are too many agen
cies to produce harmony as at present organ
ized. In many localities of the State there
have been few or no practical benefits to many
children entitled to its benefits and aid. The
report for 1876 of the Comptroller-General
shows the impracticable working of the pres
ent system in many respects. It needs meth
odizing—pruning in many places, and much
less machinery than as now existing. There
is too much unintelligible jargon in its appli
ances. Its real workings to the bulk of the
people are no better understood than Egyptian
hieroglyphics or the recent Archaeological ex
plorations of Dr. Schliemann amidst the colos
sal ruins of Greece and Italy. It is perhaps
within the range of possibilities that the State
School Commissioner, an eminent scholar,
excellent man and indefatigable worker may
understand the present system, but it is not
believed that any one else does. What is
wanted to make an efficient system of it is,
a ready application of all these moneys set
apart for this purpose to the educational neces
sities of all the children of the State. Certainly
every voter in Georgia will agree that the
educational system should be so arranged as
to educate the children of the commonwealth,
and drive ignorance in the background, and
let all become intelligent citizens. This pres
ent system is so cumbersome, that it cannot
be remedied by constitutional amendments.
Its evils, its failure to accomplish what was
intended, have been and continue to be pro
claimed throughout the State. These child
ren are the future conductors of the destinies
of Georgia ; these monies are your’s, the peo
ple of Georgia. If, then, you would make
these agencies honored and useful elements of
the future greatness of the State, adapted to
the intelligence and necessities of the people,
engraft a short, well understood, practical
plan in anew Constitution.
Marshall.
Advertising; for a llusband.
Five years ago, Miss Mary Athers, of
Porterville, Pa., advertised in a Boston
paper for a husband. Among other
respouses to her advertisement was one
from John It. Johnston, of Rutland, Vt.
A correspondence resulted from the ad
vertisement, and three months after the
card was inserted, in accordance with the
request of the person answering to that
name, she went to Rutland aud was mar
ried to him. Miss Athers was the daugh
ter of William R. cashier of the
Raftsman’s Bank, of Porterville, and
was a highly accomplished young lady.
Her purpose was entirely unknown to
her parents. When she left home she
said she was going to Boston to visit a
friend. Four weeks after she went away
she returned home with her new’ hus
band- Notwithstanding the fact that
her parents were grieved at her freak,
they accepted the situation, and John
ston being a gentlemanly appearing man
and a good book-keeper, his wife’s father
placed him in the bank as an assistant.
On Wednesday last a lady with two chil
dren, both under eight years of age, ap
peared in Porterville. She inquired for
Mr. Johnston, saying that she was his
wife, and that he was the father of her
children. Her story was not believed
at first, but when Johnston acknowledged
that it was all true the village was
thrown into the most intense excitement.
Miss Athers, or, as she was, Mrs. John
ston, on Monday went to a drug store
and called for a quantity of arsenic.
Being refused the drug she went home
and was found Friday morning lying on
the floor of her room dead. She had
shot herself through the heart with a
revolver that Jonnston kept in a stand
drawer in the room they had occupied,
aud Johuston has skipped out.
Testing the Bine Eight Cur* in Con- |
cord.
A few evenings since an old gentleman
acquaintance of ours was reading an arti
cle upon the wonderful cures effected by
the application of blue light to the affec
ted parts, and glancing out the window,
saw his little sonnie engaged in the at
tempt to improve the appearance of a
scalded head which belonged to an old
Tom cat of long family connection. The
boy was sending a steady stream of light
through a blue glass ou the old cat’s bald
head and imagined he could already see
a field of fur rising. The old gentleman,
in order to encourage his sou in an ex
perimental way, moved bis chair out into
the yard, where the process between boy
and cat was being carried ou, and after
a few words of instruction to the boy, his
bald cranium was being bathed in a flood
of blue light. The boy soon tired of
holding the blue glass over his father's
head, and to relieve the monotony of the
affair, produced from his pocket unawares
to the old geutleman, the sun glass with
which his grandfather used to light his
pipe, and drew a focus where the bald
ness was most conspicuous. Things then
took rather a serious turn for the old
gentleman’s scalp, but he bore it like a
man.
“ J ust keep quiet, father,” said the boy,
as his father’s head began to twitch,
“ don’t be so restless. They are poppin
out now thick as fraud.”
“ Father”stood it as best he could, only
murmuring that “there’s virtue in any
light that pulls hair by the roots that
way,” while all the time his scalp was
frying and smoking under the hot rays
of the sun glass. The boy continued
tattooing his father’s head until the at
mosphere for half a mile around smelt
like a big barbecue, and the old man got
scent of the game. Then he just reached
around aud gathered his hopeful in his
arms, and went into the wood house.
* * * Three days elapsed and the doc
tor tells us if the weather keeps favorable
aud nothing serious sets in, the boy will
soon come around, and for the old gen
tleman’s head it’s pretty well broiled,
but some hopes of his recovery are enter
tained.
This, then, is a true story of a blue
glass experiment by a family in Concord,
and had it not been for a sun glass it
might have turned out more successful
ly.— Concord Sun. '
Repose In tbc Ocean Depths.
It has been ascertained by soundings
that the roaring waves and the mightiest
billow of the ocean repose, not upon hard
and troubled beds, but upon cushions of
still water; that everywhere at the bot
tom of the deep sea, Ihe solid ribs of the
earth are protected, as with a garment
from the abrading action of its restless
waves is lined by a stratum of water at
rest that it can neither wear nor move
the lightest bit of drift-stuff that once
lodges there.
The uniform appearance of the mic
roscopic shells, and the almost total ab
sence among them of any sediment from
the sea of foreign matter, suggests most
forcibly the idea of perfect repose at the
bottom of the sea. Some of the speci
mens are as pure and afree from sand
as the fresh fallen snow-flake is from the
dust of the earth.
Soundings seem to prove that showers
of these beautiful shells are constantly
falling down upon the ocean floor, and
the wrecks which strew the sea-bottom
are, in the lapse of ages, encrusted over
with these tiny, fleecy things, until they
present the rounded outlines of bodies
buried beneath the snow-fall.
The ocean, especially near aud within
the tropics, swarm with life. The re
mains of its myriads of moving things
are conveyed by currents, aud scattered
and lodged in the course of time, all over
the bottom. This process, continued
for ages, has covered the depths of the
ocean as with a mantle, consisting of
organisms as delicate as hoar-frost, and
as light in the water as down in the air.
A 11181118; End.
A boy borrowed a tool from a carpen
ter, promising to return it at night. Be
fore evening he was sent away oo an er
rand and did not return until late. Be
fore going he was told that his brother
should see that the article was returned.
After he had come home he inquired and
found that the tool had not been sent to
its owner. He was much distressed to
think that his promise had not been
kept, but was pursuaded to go to sleep
and rise early and carry it home the next
morning. By daylight he was up, and
nowhere was the tool to be found. After
a long and fruitless search he set out for
his neighbor’s iu great distress, to ac
knowledge his fault. But how great was
his surprise to find the tool on his neigh
bor’s door-stone! And then it appeared
from the prints of his little bare feet in
the mud, that the lad had got up in sleep
and carried the tool home and gone to bed
again without knowing it. Of course a
boy who was prompt in his sleep was
prompt when awake. He lived respected,
had the confidence of his neighbors, and
was placed in many offices of trust and
profit. If all grown folks felt as this boy
did, there would be a good many tracks
of bare feet found some of these bright
mornings; and what piles of books and
tools would be found at their owners’
doors.
The pesky rabbit is playing havoc with
suburban gardens.
VOL III —NO. 27.
DEVILTRIES.
—An imaginary quantity : a lady’s age.
—Africa produces the most undressed
black kids.
—Chairs should never be covered with
silk, but sat-in.
—Modern marriages begin with a court i
aud end with a court.
—The most common kind of cake after '
Christmas: Stomachache.
—A case that has troubled a great
many heads: A sham pillow case.
Woman was made from a rib bone;
and she loves rib-bon(e)s to this day.
—The right bower of trumps in a game
of euchre is now called “ Jo Bradley.”
—Why should the male sex avoid the
letter a ? Because it makes men mean.
—The Memphis Sun calls a very black
negro the vivified butt end of midnight.
—What is that which increases the
more you take from it ? Why a hole, of
course.
—There is some clover in Lexington
so short, that it must be lathered before
you can mow.
—“ There is music in the heir,” as the
man said as he listened to the squalls of
his first born.
—A man who had a scolding wife, be
ing asked what he did for a living, replied
that he kept a hot house.
—A Georgia man is suing another for
pulling his nose. The latter thought it
looked ripe enough to pull.
—“Are those women ready for bed
now?” is what a little girl asked when
she went to the opera bouffe.
—Chedel, looking at a skeleton the
other day, asked Dr. Willinghaqi where
he got it. “ I raised him,” he replied.
—lt is thought that the time will yet
come when members of the choir will be
expected to behave during divine service
just as well as other folks.
—A young man having complained
that a young lady had sat upon his hat,
he was told that he ought to know better
than to hold his hat in his lap.
—A new paper in Texas starts out
with: the announcement, that “in relig
ion we are conservative, and we intend
to adhere to the cash system.
—When the Vanderbilt will contest
came to its sudden end, a lawyer was
heard to remark : “ It’s highway robbery.
It robs the profession of $1,000,000.”
—An Irish crier, being ordered to clear
the court room, did so by announcing :
“ Now, all you blackguards that are not
lawyers leave the court room at once.”
—A little girl, to whom her father ex
plained that Bantam chickens might be
recognized by their feather stockings,
wanted to know if the hens wore garters.
—A drunkard, on being told that the
earth was round, and turns on its axis all
the time, said, “ I believe that, for I’ve
never been able to stand on the darn
thing.”
—Talk about the extravagance of dress
of women !” cries Mary Jane exultinglv.
“ What do you say to Tweed’s six million
suit, I’d like to know? He isn’t a wo
man, I guess !”
—“ Sir,” said an old judge to a young
lawyer, “you would do well to pluck
some of the feathers from the wing of
your imagination, and stick them in the
tail of your judgment.”
—lt now transpires that Cassabianca,
who “ stood on the burning deck,” was
20 years old, had warts on lys hands, and
had been shipped away to sea to get rid
of him. Never had any father, either.
—At Florence, Arizona, there is a res
taurant kept by a Chinaman, with a
Mexican wife, a negro cook, and a white
woman for a waiter. Hush with any
kind of hair dressing promptly served.
—The doctors looked.down a Roches- j
ter man’s throat the other day and found '
a needle that had been there a number ,
of years. They are now skirmishing!
around the thorax looking for a sewing
machine.
“My business is to talk,” saida
stump speaker; “I deal in words and
sentences.” “ Yes,” said a voice in the
crowd, “ and as long as I have known
you, your place of business has never
been closed.”
—The Yankees debate strange ques
tions down East. The last was, “ What
is the difference between the Bridge of
Sighs and the size of a bridge?” The
next is to be, “ The difference between a
fac simile aud a sick family.”
—A negro Methodist’s idea of ministe
rial qualification : “ De new preacher am
mo’ larnt dan Brudder Boles was; but lor
bless you, sail ! he ain’t got dat doleful
sound like Mistuh Boles hed. He ain’t
gwine ter gib saterfaeshun.”
—A lady, after trying blue glass sun
baths for a month, had anew crop of
back hair and anew set of false teeth
grow out together. And besides recover- j
ing her health, she had an offer of mar'
riage, the first she has experienced in !
forty-one years.
—The Baltimore Gazette accuses the
pilot Evans, who acted so bravely at the
burning of the steamer Governor Gar
land, of plagiarism. It estimates that he
stole the idea from Jim Biudsoe, aud
that he is not entitled to much credit,
therefore, for remaining at his post while
the ship was blazing around him.
—“ Before we were married,” said he
to a friend, “ she used to say ‘ bye-bye’ so
sweetly when I went down the steps.”
“ Aud now what does she say ?” asked
the friend. “Oh ! just the same—* buy,
buy !’ ” exclaimed the husband. “Ah !
I see,” said the other; “she only exer
cises a little different spell over you!”
Ihf (Dgldlwrpc f^tlw.
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RICHES FROM THE SKIES.
The Gigantic *las that Fell in l>la
mond Valley, Nevada--A Queer Stor.v.
From the Eureka (Nev.) Sentinel.
About four o clock on the morning of
the 7th of January, an immense body,
glowing with intense brilliancy came
rushing across the face of heaven, illu
minating the earth with the light of day.
It traveled in an oblique direction, from
the southwest to the northwest, and in
stantaneously a shock was felt that al
most threw the spectators at that early
hour from their feet.
About ten days ago Mr. Wheeler, who
cultivates a ranch in Diamond Valley
and who is also in the stock business,
came into town and left a most remarka
ble substance with an assaver. Mr.
Wheeler had a smattering of metallurgi
cal knowledge, and, it seems, had tested
the compound with a blow pipe and
other means within his reach, and detect
ed the presence of the precious metals,
hut wao unable to determine the value.
The piece submitted to the assayer was
about as large as a hen’s egg, and imme
diately attracted his attention by its un
usual weight and peculiar color, it being
of a purplish-black shade, and where it
had been broken off the main body pre
senting a laminated stratification that he
failed to recognize. Mr. Wacke expend
ed the whole night in a series of experi
ments, applying every known test to the
article, and detecting the presence of
iron, nickel, cadmium, lead, silver, gold,
zinc, cobalt, silica and phosphorous.
There was also a residuum to each assay,
to which Professor Wacke was unable to
determine the properties, but be hopea
by the use of the spectroscope to classi
fy it.
A surprising feature of the ore is ex
cessive malleability and ductility, a small
portion of it being reduced by hammer
ing ton film notexceedingone-hundredth
of an inch in thickness. He has sent a
portion of it To the San Francisco Acade
my of Sciences, and also to Prof. Siliman,
of New Haven, and in the meantime i
prosecuting his researches. Prof. Wacke
has found that the substance will reach
$387 in silver and $42 in gold per ton.
The strangest part of the story remains
to be told ; aud now, that Mr. Wheeler
has duly recorded his claim and perfect
ed the title, we feel at liberty to disclose
the facts. On the merning of the 7th of
January, Mr. Wheeler was almost
thrown from his bed by a violent shock.
Getting up and looking out of the win
dow, he observed at the foot of the moun
tain an immense mass glowing at a white
heat and of intense brightness. Hastily
dressing, he approached as near as possi
ble, and found that the object lay just at
the foot of the Diamond mountain range,
but the heat was so great that he could
not go within a thousand yards of the
spot.
He kept his own counsel, and made re
peated attempts to reach it, but did not
succeed until the 14th inst., when it had
cooled sufficiently to allow him to break
off the portion brought to town. Tho
main body will measure about sixty feet
in height, eighty-seven feet in width,
aud is three hundred and thirteen feet in
length. These are the propoitions of the
body visible, and it is probable that as
much is imbedded in the earth. Mr.
Wheeler calculates that there at least
2,000,000 tons in sight, and if it will
work anywhere near the assay he will ex
tract an immense sum from the mass.
The Negro Race.
Governor Wade Hampton afforded us,
upon last Friday, an illustration of the
negro’s relation to the white element of
the South. Passing Willard’s we saw a
crowd,and not knowing why there should
be a meeting of tnis sort, we asked an
aged colored man w hat it meant.
“ Waitin’ to see Guvuer Hampton,
sah.”
“ What! are you and these colored men
waiting to see him?”
“Yes, sah; yes, sah; ole Mas sah
Hampton jis lay clean ober dese poah
carpit-baggahs, sah; clean ober, sah,
shua.”
“ Next to God,” said Fred. Douglass
once, “ the negro loves and obeys his old
master.”
Any oue disposed to doubt this has
only to remember that through the four
years’ war, that drew to exhustion upon
the whith element of the South, the ne
gro remained faithful to his owner.
There were not lacking miscreants from
the North who sought to flank the rebels
through a servile insurrection at home,
bul they failed. This faithfulness origi
nated in neither slavish Darjor love; and
Fred Douglass assures us that it was the
kind, affectionate nature that forms the
basis of the negro character, and makes
of him, when cultivated and trained, a.
good element of citizenship.
All this has been distorted and almost
destroyed by the unprincipled greed of
such men as Morton and Logan at Wash
ington, and the “ infamous scoundrels,”
as Carl Schurzdesignated the carpet-bag
gers, at the South. We are swung back
to the true, healthy relation that ha 9
given us a solid South which even this
bogus administration is forced to ac
knowledge.— Washington Capital.
Relief for Catarrh.—Put one
tablespoonful of iode-bromide of calcium
comp, into a teacupful of warm water.
Snuff it up the nose night aud inoruiug.
, Is very cleansing and healing.