Newspaper Page Text
SUBSCRIPTION.
ONE YEAR 82.00
SIX MONTHS 1.00
THREE MONTHS 50
CLUB RATES.
*T VE COPIES or less than 10, each... 1.75
TEN COPIES or more, each 1.50
1 erms—Cash in advance. No paper sent
s itil money received.
\.ll papers stopped at expiration of time,
unless renewed.
DEVILTRIES.
Tempus fngit—Fly time.
A strong man—A shop-lifter.
\\ aiting maids—Elderly spinsters.
Queen of the bawl-room—The nurse.
TV hat is always offered at cost ? The law.
Romantic death—A voung lady drowned in
tears.
To keep house—Don’t put a mortgage
thereon.
TV hat is good for fleas ? Why, shaggy dogs,
of course.
The best present for a base ball club—An
ice-pitcher.
A tune that young ladies trv to catch—A
million air.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as
its legs increase.
Wild oats are said to be the only crop that
grows by gaslight.
Tell not your secrets in a corn-field ; it has
thousands of ears.
When grief leaves its traces, what becomes
of the rest of the harness 'i
“ Improved Fig-leaves” is an appropriate
heading for prevailing fashion notes.
(( A New York firm hung out a sign reading:
“ In God we trust—everybody else cash.”
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge ?
Because it must be ground before it can be
used.
Wisconsin has female tramps, and some
thing ought to lie done to pull-back these
creatures.
It is no longer the fashion to send “around
a slice of wedding cake.” They send the re
ipe how to make it.
What this country wants is an insurance
company who will pay half of a policy when
the holder gets half killed.
Nature seldom makes a fool j she simply
furnishes the raw materials, and lets the fel
low finish the job to suit himself.
Why is a young lady of seventeen brief
summers like the sultan's Asiatic possessions,
eh ? Because she is it she minor.
It takes the Russian Provost-Marshals four
minutes to convict and shoot a spy, and the
Czar loudly complains of lost time.
On Danube’s stormy banks I stand, and
cast a wistful eye t’wa-d Turkey’s fair and
unhappy land, where correspondents lie.
There arc some men who will walk up to
Hie canon’s mouth, and some women who will
walk lip to a lover’s mouth withoutshrinking.
A Georgia man walked forty miles to see
his brother hung, and when the culprit turn
ed out to be another man the Georgian was
greatly disappointed.
It was font Moore who compared love to a
potato, because it shoots trotu the eves, and
Gord Byron who amended it by remarking
that it grew less by paring.
An lowa woman, sueing for a divorce, put
in as evidence the head-board of the in an till
bed, which had thirteen bullet-lioles in it, and
was at once granted a decree.
Spicer astonished his cook the other morn
ing by remarking that he didn’t want his
gravy executed in that- manner; he added
that it was burned at the steak.
A man with a cold in his head came down
•he street yesterday, and said that he had
su h a run on his m>se that if it had been a
bank it would have been broken long ago.
“ Do those bells sound an alarm of fire?”
said a stranger the othcrSunday as the church
bells were calling together the worshippers.
“ \ es,” was the reply, “ Out the tiro is in tin
next world.”
It is when the mercury in the thermometer
is galivanting among the nineties that it is a
common sight to see men coming from behind
bar room screens wiping the perspiration from
their mouths.
A man out West, who read that copperas
put in a tied of ants would cause them to leave
put some in his mot her-in-iiuv’s bed to see if
she wouldn’t go. He says that she was there
at last accounts.
If the saying were true, how easily one could
earn his living now by the “sweat of his
brow.” lie would only have to stand in the
sun for a few minutes, and he would be com
paratively wealthy.
A Mississippi paper tells of a lady in that
State who had eleven children in tweivv years.
She would no doubt have made it twelve in
eleven years if it would have been ihe least
accommodation to anybody.
A young lady had coquetted until the vic
tim was completely exhausted. He rose to go
away. She whispered, as she accompanied
liiiu to the door, “ l shall be at home next
Sunday evening.” “So shall 1,” he replied.
If worst comes to worst, the country can
arm the base ball clubs. There would be
deep and universal grief, of course, if any of
the brave base bailers should be swept awuv,
but itt all desperate situations sacrifices have
to be made.
It is said that a widow and widower mar
ried at Little Rock recently, having eight
children each. A newly-married couple star
ting with a ready-made family of sixteen chil
dren look like business, and to keep all that
trundle-bed trash in milk and mush will re
quire the business to be pushed, too.
“It is an unclcrical practice, and I must
say a very uncleanly one. Tobacco! Why,
sir, even a hog would not chew it.” “ Doctor
U replied his amused listener, “do you
nse tobacco?” “I? No, sir,” he answered
gruffly, with much indignation. “ Then,
pray, who is most like the nog, you or I?”
A Staten Island man, who took his boy
hoiue a pet goat the other afternoon, now
offers the animal for sale at a reduction of 30
jwr cent, on actual cost. It ate up a table
cloth, two shirts and four crocket balls the
first night, ami lunched oft' a box of clothes
pins the next day.
A justice of the peace in Michigan having i
been hunted up with some difficulty by a tel
egraph messenger, with a dispatch’ annouuc
ing his wife’s death, refused to pay the cost of
one dollar for delivery. He said • “ 1 aiu't
going to pay for that news, for I've been ex
pecting the old woman to die for some time.”
Two friends, just married, were a few days
ago, discussing rapturously, as they congratu
lated each other, the merits and charms of
their spouses. Said one: “My wife has got
the loveliest head of hair that ever I saw, even
on the hair renovator labels. When she lets
her hair down the ends fall to the floor.”
“ That’s nothing,’’ replied the other. “When
my wife lets down her hair, it all falls to the
floor.”
A youri" man applied at a newspaper ofliee
the other day for a situation. “ Have you had
any experience as aii editor?” inquired the
newspaper man. “ Well, no, not exactly,”
replied, the ambitious aspirant, cautiously ;
but Ive been cowhided a number of times,
have been married quite awhile, have v orn
borrowed clothes for three years, and never
had a cent of money, w [ ‘thought I might
work in.” He was engaged.
The editor of a paper in Providence lately
informed his readers that the ladies always
pull off the left stocking last. Thh. as may >
be supposed, created some stir among his lady
readers, and while they positively denied the !
statement, they at the same time declared
that he had no business to know it, even if
mtch was the fact, and pronouuce-d him no
gentleman. He proves it, however, by a short
argument: “ When one stocking is palled oft'
there is another left on : polling off this, it
takes the Jeff stocking last."
aljc (JMdljorpc Cdw,
BY T. L. GANTT.
Written lor the Oglethorpe Echo.]
HEARTS.
BY FRANK O’LEARY.
How strange, to think in every heart
There is a cloistered cell
Where, all unknown to mortal man,
Our deepest feelings dwell.
The outer wall, like marble fair,
May court the light of day—
“ Behold ! behold, how bright and fair,”
Our actions seem to say.
But pause ! unbar the hidden door—
And what have we revealed :
What treasures, hopes and skeletons,
That long have been concealed ?
I may be, some pure buried gem,
A crushed, yet faded flower,
Torn by some ruthless, human hand
From young life’s rosy bower.
Yes, there perchance, we only find
A true and guileless love,
That would not cause a blush of shame
On angel brows above.
But hidden here, as though ’twere sin
To have that feeling known
Which seraphs, with their tuneful harps,
Praise near the “great white throne.”
But oft, alas ! the darksome vault
Contains nor gem, nor flower;
But venomed serpents, loathsome thoughts,
Like demons, lurk and cower.
While, all unknown, they hide the time
To wound some trusting heart
With deed unjust, with word unkind,
Or Slander’s poisoned dart.
We cannot guard against the asp
Hid ’neath life’s flowrets fair,
Nor show the cage of beasts unclean
Concealed with jealous care.
But we can strive to cheer the friend
Whose path with thorns is sown,
Speak gentle words, give kindly thoughts
To hearts now sad and lono.
For loving is the hand that veils
The aching heart from sight;
The cruel thorns, the shattered shrines,
The canker, grief and blight
Arc known and seen by One above
“ Who can all sorrows heal,”
Nor will He to the idle throng
One hidden woe reveal.
A IVOMAJi'S AO.
O no! I could not wed you, no ;
But I hope you won’t forget
I love you as a sister should—
Oh, please, Will, don’t go yet.
Yes, love you as a sister should,
But marry you ? Ah, no !
I’fti grieved you should have thought of it —
Oh, Will, don’t leave me so.
Come back, sit down, and talk to me;
Don’t, don’t frown when you go—
One cannot love when just she would,
Though she’s a girl, you lciiow.
And I don’t think you love me much ;
I don’t, upon my life—
But really, if I thought you did
Yes, Will—l’ll be your wife.
The Credit Business.
After having inspected a pile of calico
in one of the Woodward avenue stores
yesterday, a somewhat rusty looking man
blandly remarked to the clerk before
him :
“ Credit must be given me .”
“ No, sir—we don’t trust,” was the re
ply.
“I was going to rernaik that credit
must be given me for .”
“We couldn’t do it, sir. The rule ap
plies to every one.”
1 Couldn’t do what?” asked the man.
“ Couldn’t give you credit.”
“ You are very uncivil, sir, very, but
yet I will say before I go out of here
that credit must be given me for being
honest and impartial, when I say that I
never saw three hitching-posts look
nicer than them out there. That’s all,
sir, and I wish I hadn’t said that much.”
A Horned Nose.
Persons who know something of the
thrift of corns may possibly believe this
story of a man who lives at Ridgeville,
Indiana: “ He was afflicted with erysipe
las in the face some years ago. Gradu
ally it settled in his nose, which became
hardened at the point. At first it felt
like a hard pimple. Gradually it devel
oped into a horny substance like a roos
ter's spur, and finally projected itself in
to a well-defined horn. As it grew it
became annoying from its length, and,
to curtail its dimension, he began to
whittle it down with a sharp knife, and
finding it painless he continued the whit
tling process, keeping the cornuary de
velopment down to perhaps a half inch
in length. The man says he presumes
that, if he had not whittled it down, this
singular formation would now have been
about five inches long.”
Tlic Black Snakes of Florida.
A resident of Florida says he always
encourages black snakes to live about the
house, as they are excellent vermin kill
ers, driving away rats and rabbits, which
do much mischief in house and gar
den. They themselves are harmless,
except that sometimes they steal eggs
and poultry, and perhaps now and then
a kitten may be gobbled up. On one
occasion a black snake (which grows to
the length of eight or nine feet) took a
kitten, and finding it to his taste, came
for another, when the two house cats at
tacked and killed him after a severe bat
tle; It is not only the rattlesnake which
is killed by the blacksnake, but if has
the habit of killing and eating all other
serpents which it can overcome, which it
does by strangulation.
DURHAM’S LIVER FILLS
have co superior as a family pill.
LEXINGTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY MORNING, AUGUST 3, 1877.
BRItiHAtl YOISU.
This remarkable man was born at
Whitinghara, Vermont, June Ist,‘lßol. #
Joining the Mormons in 1832, at
Kirtland, Ohio, he soon gained by his
energetic shrewdness and influential
I status among them, and in three years
| became one of the twelve apostles sent
out to make converts. On the death of
Joseph Smith in 1844 he was chosen
President and Prophet. Being compell
ed by the disasters at Xauvoo to abandon
that location, he announced that Salt
Lake Valley had been revealed as the
Promised Land, and founded Salt
Cityin 1847. Immigration rapidly increas
ing the Mormon ranks, they organized a
Stater which they named Desert, but Con
gress refused to admit it into the Uuion,
constituting instead the Territory of
Utah, of which Brigham Young was
appointed United States Governor. Four
years this state of affairs continued, at
the end of which time the Mormons de
fied the federal authority, and President
Buchanan appointed Alfred Gumming
Governor of Utah and sent in 2,500 men
to enforce his authority A compromise
was effected—the Federal authority was
to be respected, and Brigham Young left
in power as President and Ruler of the
Mormon church.
He is a man of uncommon size, of
very compact build and six feet high,
measures forty-four inches around the
chest, and is of great dimensions in mid
person. He has nineteen wives, fifteen
of whom are is own, the other four being
“ proxy wives,” and relicts of Joe
Smith. The children of these four of
their union with Brigham are credited to
Smith, and go to swell his kingdom. To
distinguish these plural wives from the
others they are known by their maiden
names. In the order of their marriages,
the following is a list of Brigham’s nu
merous spouses : Mary Ann Angel, Lu
cy Decky, Mrs. Augusta Cobh, Harriet
Cook, Clara Decky, Emetine Free, Lucy
Biglow, Lydia Huntington, Susan Swive
ly, Margaret Pierce, Mrs. Twiss, Emily
Patridge, Martha Boker, Eliza Inaw,
Harriet Barney, Amelia Falsom, Mary
Van Colt and Ann Eliza Webb, the
nineteenth. Brigham Young has forty
five living children ; the majority are
grown and married; twenty-nine girls
and sixteen boys constitute his family.
Seven of these daughters are partners in
plural marriages. Brigham, for the pres
ent, has abandoned all his other wives
•for his favorite, Amelia Falsom, and
upon her is lavished all his care and at
tention. Once a month occurs in the
household what is known as “ ration
day.” Each family receives five pounds
of sugar, one pound of candles, a bar of
soap anil a box of matches. Whatever
they enjoy beyond the planest food and
scantiest clothing, the wife is expected
to provide for herself and children—al
ways excepting the favorites. Brigham
promises his wives SIOO a year pin-mon
ey and a good home, but they get neither.
The secret rites of Mormons consist of a
ceremony of words taken from the Scrip
tures and “ Paradise Lost.” The scen
ery used represents the creation and fall
of man, the coming of Christ and the
Priesthood of Joseph Smith. The can
didate takes a solemn oath to “ bear
eternal hostility to the Government of
the United States, and avenge the mur
der of the prophet Joseph Smith.” The
hope of Brigham’s life is the admission
of Utah as a S .ate into the Union, and
it is said that the conviction of John
Lee of the Mountain Meadows Massacre
was due to an assurance given Brigham
that the admission would be hastened by
this action. Rumors have been rife,
since the execution of Lee, of the hostile
intention of the Mormons, even to the
calling out of the “Nauvoo Legion,”
and the alleged intention of the United
States authorities to send more troops
into the Territory, seems to give color to
the rumors.
Trajan's Walls.
The Russian Left Wing have now
reached the famous old wall which the
Emperor Trajan built across the neck of
the Dobrudja. It is a rampart of earth,
about 35 or 40 miles long, and extends
from Rassova, just at the bend in the
Danube to the shores of the Black Sea.
It is eight or ten feet high, with a fosse
in front of it, while the western portion
is still further fortified by deep lakes and
a swampy valley. Another rampart of a j
similar character lies just iu the rear of
it. This is known as the south wall, the
space between the two ramparts being
from 1,000 to 2,000 feet.
On the bauks of the Danube stood the
buttresses of the bridge which the Roman
Emperor erected for the passage of his
troops. It was destroyed by Hadrian,
and its precise locality has been a matter
of dispute, although some ruins have
been found on the line of an old Roman
road. The Londoa Echo says that this
bribge was a permanent structure, car
ried on piers 150 feet high and 60 feet
wide, and it comprised of 20 arches ex
tending altogether over a span of 4,770 j
Roman feet. It seems to have been in
tended as a fortress as well as a bride, j
Standing 80 feet above the water, it is j
supposed to have afforded the command of
the Danube a garrison post
ed on it being, of course, able to damage
or destroy vessels passing under, while
they would be above the reach of retali
ation.
mi * mm
For all Impurities of the Rloo<l, take
DR. DURHAM’S BLOOD PURIFIER,
A VARIETY OF SHOW.
A Mother Dancing' and Singing Tor
Bread nhile Her Child is Dying.
From the New York World.
Those who go to Harry Hill’s—perhaps
not many who read this paper—will have
noticed a favorite performer there who
sang songs in high falsetto voice, and
i who accompanied herself on the drum.
She was sure of the recall, and, most
times, two or three. Her song-and-drutn
solo of Saturday night was not less well
received than for any evening for a week
i before, but she did not respond to the
clapping of hands and stamping of feet
that gathered in force as she still failed
to appear; and it was only by a ruse
that the manager at last diverted his
motely audience from their insistent de
mands. But, whether or not the mana
ger had succeeded, this little actress
could not for the life of her have faced
the crowd again that night,
Mile. Claire—so her name was on the
bills, though that is not what she is called
at her now cheerless home—is married to
a shiftless person, and supported hus
band and child on the pittance that she
got for her stage work. This evening
she had left the little girl barely ten
months old, in her garret room, siek and
feverish. It needed above all things, a
mother’s care ; but variety performers, no
less than seamstresses and shop girls,
and such worthless folk, have no right to
indulge in the finer feelings when em
ployers need their work. So she left the
child in its father’s charge and went to
the theatre.
Close following her departure came a
relapse, a convulsion, and what little life
the child had was gone out to its Maker.
The husband sought the show-house.
“How is the child?” was her first in
quiry, and while his lips declared to her
that it was still sleeping, his manner be
lied his words. He dared not tell all,
lest her stage work be imperriled. But
to the other “ ladies” of the troupe he
mentioned the fact of the dead child at
home, with strict injunctions that they
were “ not to tell her a word of it yet.”
Their faces and whispered words fan
ned the suspicion which was growing on
her mind, but just then the stage man
ager shouted, “ Miss Claire will favor us
with a song and drum chorus,” before
the foot-lights with a curtesy, a salute,
and a mirthless smile. She rattled off’
her part, and rushed to the little dress
ing room just in time to catch a half
sentence, which told the truth. With a
faint cry she dropped to the floor, the
sticks falling from her pulseless hands,
her jaunty hat and feather rolling away
beneath the heels of her hurrying sisters.
The house meanwhile clamored for an
encore. The stage manager was beside
himself, shouted to the orchestra for a
clog dance, and the crowd was satisfied.
But behind the scene the woman lay
in. her insensibility. Then she was taken
to her dead child, the shouts and stamp
ing of the heedless throng following bet
as she tumbled out the door. Harry
Hill’s had had one drama of which the
gaudy posters give no hint.
A Sta-angc Story.
A fresh breeze of north wind was blow
ing up Loch Sunard. We went rattling
under a snoring breeze; passed Mingarry
Castle and Sthrone McLean, connected
with which there is a sad story. McLean
was a famous freebooter when Mclan
was in possession of Mingarry Castle.
Mclan’s wife was fair and vain. Mc-
Lean was handsome and cunning. He,
the enemy of her husband, won her affec
tions. She agreed to admit him to the
castle, upon a certain night, to murder
her husband, on condition that he would
marry her. McLean accordingly enter
ed the castle at night and murdered the
old chief. Mclan, however, left an only
son, and McLean insisted upon the wo
man putting to death the son, who alone
seemed to stand in the way of his sub
jecting the district to his own sway.
The woman agreed to this, and, accom
panied by McLean, reached the wild
precipice to throw her child over into
the ocean below. The mother took the
child in her arms. She twice swung it
in the air to cast it from her ; but not
doing so, she was asked by McLean why
she delayed.
“ The child,” replied the unfortunate
woman, “smiles in my face whenever I
attempt it.”
“ Turn your face away and look not
at its smiles,” was the bandit’s reply.
The woman did so, and the child was
thrown over the rock. She had no soon
er accomplished the deed than McLean !
turned upon her and said :
“Away, horrid woman! You, who
could thus murder your husband and
child, might murder me.” —Memoirs of |
Dr. Maeleod.
Terrific Shrinkage. —On the Bth
of March, 1876, the stock of the New
Jersey Central Railway was worth $lO7
per share, and on the 23d of June, 1877,
it was only worth $6 per share.
On the same date, the stock of the i
Delaware, Lackawanna & Western Road ;
sold for $23 per share, against SllO, and
the stock of the Delaware & Hudson Ca- I
nal Company sold at S3O per share,
against $l2O in 1876.
The total shrinkage in the stock of
these three roads, between the dates
named above, was nearly sixUj-tvco mil
, lion dollars.
THE FLEA'S FAVORITE PLAY
UROFND.
| The average woman hates a flea with
an intensity almost diabolical in its na
ture. She wili pursue one ofthese little
innocents with the remorselessness of a
of a fiend, and if you ever expect to see
a beautiful exemplification of womanly
| traits, never look for it when a flea is
l about. And in proportion as the woman
hates, the flea seems to love, and is never
enjoying acstatic bliss unless favored
with her society. He likes to seek her
couch in the still of the night, woo her
from slumber, and from a sheltered nook
witness her feverish exertions to escape
his caresses.
But perhaps he does not reach the
acme of enjoyment until he can slyly ac
company her to church and uot make his
presence known until she has satisfacto
rily settled her furbelows and flounces on
the cushioned seat, ail ready to be ad
mired and make notes of others. And
then the flea begins his manipulations,
knowing full well that he has his victim
at a disadvantage. Here there can be no
hasty flings of skirts, no assuming of un
becoming positions while making frantic
grabs at the mischievous and inaccessi
ble monster. If you note the woman
closely, you will see a compressing of the
lips and a look of hate and pain creeping
to the face which she fain would conceal
and not reveal. For are not many eyes
upon her ? One moment she settles her
self a little more firmly on one side, as
though hoping to crush the aggressor, but
the next moment finds him scampering
upwards, when she settles back quickly
to catch him between her back and the
rail,but all in vain—his flag’is still there.
One dainty garter may rub up against
his fellew as far as may be done without
disarranging drapery, and there may be
a quiet, nevertheless viscious clutch of a
jeweled hand under the pretense of ar
ranging flowing drapery, but all in vain.
And the flea, how he does enjoy it! He
wanders hither and thither at his own
sweet will, and not caring for the boiling
wrath which fairly makes the white flesh
upon which he plays shiver beneath his
light tread.
And perhaps the flea has his mate, and
then the anguish is doubled. At one
moment they are playing tag; at another
hide and seek, and while one closely
nestled away the other rushes about to
find it, in a way which is maddening;
and then they act the part of explorers
and prospect every hill and dale of the
form divine. But one thing they do not
do, they do not go to sleep.
And during this hour of martydoin
how the wrath of the woman gathers, and
how only thoughts of dire, vengeance
make the brief agony endurable ! But
at last the service, which has seemed so
long, is ended, and with as much majesty
as her writhing form will permit, she
sails home without loitering you may be
sure. The house reached, with one
bound she is within the privacy of her
own chamber, and there all restraint
is cast aside. With lightening haste off
come the barricades behind which the
flea found entrenchment, and at last she
stands like a gladiator stripped for the
fight, and the fate of the invader is seal
ed. He is pursued with remorseless fury,
and the battle does not end until the vic
tor shakes aloft the scalp of the foe, and
vows that so shall perish always the flea
who dares invade the sacred territory of
her person.
Attracting; tlic Public Eye.
A worthy German died in Franklin
recently, and his next friend, also a
worthy German, was appointed admin
istrator to settle up the affairs of his es
tate. The administrator called at a
printing office the other day to have post
ers printed announcing that the goods
of the deceased would be sold at public
auction.
“ I vant you to write up dose bills in
some kind of sthyle,” said the adminis
trator, whose mind runs much to busi
ness ;“ I vant somding dot vill attract !
der public eye, undpring in der beoples
from der kountry.”
The printer asked for a suggestion or
two.
“Mrs. Brown und mineselfhaf dalked !
it ofer,” continued the business man,
“ und we vant you to head dose bills
sotndings dis vav,” and he marked on the '
wall with his cane to sbow that he
wanted big letters, “ Hoor-raw! hoor
raw ! Jake Brown is dead.”
The Pyramids. —Tue immense stones
used in the construction of the pyramids
of Egypt were’obtained from the quarries
in the Arabian hills, and were carried to
the river, and over a bridge of boats.
They were theu brought forward by means
of a causeway, which of itself took ten
yeara to construct, and which is said to
have been a fine work with its polished
stones and figures of animals eDgraved
upon them. One hundred thousand men
were employed at a time, and these were
relieved by the same number at the end
of three months. A long time was spent
in.leveling of the rock on which the ed
ifice stands, and twenty years for the
erection of the pyramid itself. The
stones were raised by step by means
of a machine made of short pieces of
wood, and last of all, commencing from
the top, the stones were cemented togeth
er with a layer of cement not thicker
than a piece of paper, the strength of
which is proved by the age of these enor
mous memorials,
VOL III—NO. 43.
THE KI XTRY SASSAGE.
The kuntry sassage iz an oleaginous
fruit. They inezzure about seven inches
i one way, and an inch the other, and a
pound of them fried will give 2 pounds
ov grease. They are good for the dispep
| s,iee > a d liver ailment, and enuff of
them, will bring on the salt rume, and
| the biles. They are az good kold, az
j the y are het up, and if vu eat hearty of
| l l' eiu Monday morning for brekfast, yu
| can tas *e them Saturday night of that
j week for supper. Thare are two breeds
: ov theze oily vagrants, one iz belony, and
the other is konnektiekut. The belony
iz the biggest, and will keep oleaginous
for 9 years, and not perish. I hav seen
belonys so advanced iu life that they waz
I all kivcred with wrinkles, like an old
: tows horn, one wrinkle for each year.
The only true way to git at the longevity
ova belony. iz to kount the wrinkles.
After the berlony gets too old for chew
ing, they kan be used for kindling wood,
or be kept for plugging up rat holes.
They make the best kind of plugs known
to man, they will keep the rat knawing
away at the plug all the time, and it iz
from 18 months to 2years, before lie kan
see day light. The konnektikut sassage
iz az old az the Amrikau revolushun, and
our forefathers used them, after they got
age enuff, for kattridges, to fire into the
pesky British. Menny a British haz had
hiz earthly bissness closed out bi our
konnektikutt sassage. I have seen a
berlony that was 2 feet long, and 4 inches
around the waist; it had been bored out,
and waz used az a horn to pla in the
orkestra, and the German whu owned it.
sed it was 13 years old, last March. This
waz 5 years ago, and i presume the sas
sage iz alive yet. The sassage iz born
with a tite skin on them, and this skin iz
az tuff, and az hard for the stummuk to
kontend with, az ising glass.— Josh Bil
lings.
Hmv him! When to Huke Straight
Whiskey.
As we have already seen with what
disastrous results the manufacture of the
“crooked” has been attended, the follow
ing rules and regulations prescribed by
the Commission of Internal Revenue for
the distillation of spirituous liquors from
fruit, may not only be of interest, but of
vital importance to many of the readers
of the Echo. Their strict observance
will save both trouble in expense.
It is necessary for parties who desire to
distil to give notice of their intentions to
that effect to the Collector, and apply for
a registration of his still. After notice
has been given and before operations
may be begun, a bond, with good and
sufficient security, and penalty fixed by
the Collector, must be entered into. The
conditions of the bond arc that all re
quirements of the law will be complied
with, and also that the distiller will pay
the government a tax of ninety cents
per gallon upon all spirits produced by
im, whether for himself or other par*
ties. When these essential prelimina
ries have been observed, a survey will be
ordered at government expense, and the
plan of survey furnished the distiller,
from which he will be required to oper
ate his distillery. Upon receiving no
tice then from the Collector distillation
can commence.
A daily record of operations must be
kept in a book furnished by the Collector,
for which $1 is charged. A monthly re
port of his transactions for each month is
also necessary. After the operations of
the distillery have ceased, the brandy
produced must be guaged by a govern
ment officer at government expense,
and no spirits can be removed for con
sumption or sale until the tax of ninety
cents per gallon is paid. Under no cir
cumstances whatever is it lawful for the
spirits produced to be placed iu casks,
other vessels being prohibited of less
than ten gallons capacity.
The special tax of S3O required of
dealers is not exacted from distillers,
the only demand of the government being
the payment of the 90 cents per gallon
tax on all spirits produced at the distil
lery, without regard to the person who
furnished the materials. It will be seen
that as the government holds the distiller
responsible for the tax, in order to save
himself from loss, his arrangements for
distilling for other parties should be ex
plicit.
Xow Yon See It, Non Yon Won't.
“ Father, is it proper to say, the hen
set?” “ No, my child, the best authori
ties on nidification now declare that the
hen sits.”- “ Do you sit a ehair for com
pany?” Oh, no, sonny you set a chair.”
“ Well—then—do you set a copy or sit a
copy?” “ Why—l—l—l think I make
a copy.” “ And the sun sets, does she ?”
“ Not at all—the sun sits.” “ Does a
court set, father?” “Oh, no; you say ,
of a coat that it sits well or ill.” Court
I said I” “ Well, don’t you snap me up!
a court sets, I guess.” “Does vinegar
set or sit your teeth on edge?” “Why
—you Ought to know that, It—it—sits
’em, I think, Joseph.” “ Does a dog ,
set?” “Well—that —depends—on what
sort of dog ’tis, Josie. But I am sure
you set bean-poles and tunes;” “And
what da you lay, father !—do you lay on
a bed, and lay taxes, and lay to and lay
—” “ Josheph ! you hear me! You go
right out and chop up some tf that
brush I” “S3y, pa—don’t you think the
spellin’ reform is about the cheese V f
A Saginaw baby is distinguished for
having been born one eyed.
{Hi? (£*}s&
ADVERTISEMENTS! ~
First insertion ( per inch space)...oo
F.ach subsequent in5erti0n.....;..... 78
A liberal discount allowed those advertising
for a longer period ‘ban three months, t aro
of lowest contract rates can be had o appli
cation to the Proprietor.
Isteal Notices 15c. per line first ifcsertibiJ
and 10c. per line thereafter.
Tributes of Respect, Obituaries, eW., fiOc
per inch—half price.
Announcements. $5 iu advance;
A REGIOX OF WOMH RS.
A correspondent who has been visiting
a portion of California known as Big
Meadow thus describes somo of the nat
ural wonders he saw there:
Two miles from here are the Geyiebi;;
it is too early vet to see them in full play,,
the cold water from the snow running'
over them, but even now they are grand.-
One of them throws boiling water about
twenty-five feet high and as clear as crys--
tal; the next is a mud spring, and throws
about ten feet, while the other is only a
boiling spring and changes every other
year to blood red. Besides these, the
whole canyon is nothing but steam •
escapes for over 100 yards. One mile
and a half from here is a boiling lake of
the consistency and color of soapsuds.
It is 400 yards long and 200 wide. Two •
miles further on is Hot Spring Valley.
Here, within a distance of 100 yards, arc
between 200 and 300 boiling springs—not
tuo alike, and showing every kind of
mineral imaginable. Half a mile from'
here, over the mountain, is another lake*
with neither inlet nor outlet iu view, -
and it is also full of large trout, and the
water is as clear as crystal. It is four
miles from here to Morgan’s Valley
where can be found, it is said, the best
sulphur springs in the world. Follow
ing up the canyon there are nearly A
thousand different kinds of mineral
springs, including all kinds of “paint”
springs. One of these springs has cost
the cattle men about 810,000 within the
last nine or ten yers. It is apparently ,
arsenical. It is death to man or beast iff
only tasted. Seven miles further on is .
Lassen Butte. From here one of the
grandest views is obtained. In the far
distance is the sea, and nearer is our
beautiful Sacramento river, winding
through the broad valley for a hundred
miles or more. There is plenty of chance
to hunt all over this range for either
bear or deer, and it does not take much
trouble to find either of them.
Alt Aroivnian No(br-in.Lair,
A war correspondent writes: “I shall
report on the manners of the Armenians
after a more careful study of them, but
two incidents which occurred in this and
the neighboring house deserve to be re
corded. At noon the pan in which rij
omelet was being cooked fell down, and
the servant obstinately maintained that
a young woman on the roof of a house
opposite had caused the mischief by her
evil eye, and was with difficulty prevent- .
ed from going over and taking vengeance.
The young wife sits dumb and motionless ,
the whole day in a corner of the room,
without any occupation, unnoticed by her .
husband or any one. Only in the very
poorest families, in which the women
must work, is the daughter-in-law driven
by blows, cuffs and kicks to labor. The
only variety for the poor young creatures
is a visit five times daily to the church;
Now, it happened that in the house next
to us the mother-in-law had not spoken
to her son’s wife for six years, two years
more than the slotted term, because she
was childless. Yesterday, for the first
time, the entreaties of all the young wo
men of the neighborhood on their bend
ed knees had induced the deeply offended
old woman to address the first words to (
her daughter-in-law.”
Cattle Kliikh of Txns<
A special correspondent of the Edin
burgh Scotsman, now making a pretty
thorougtt inspection of stock raising and
farming matters in this country, and
particularly in Texas, mentions in a re
cent letter some of the “ broad-acred
squires” or cattle kings and queens of
the Lone Star State. He says: “ Captain
King, Nueces county, possesses 150,000
acres fenced, and about two hundred
thousand unfenced land, and between
forty thousand and fifty thous
and cattle and 5,000 sheep. His herd of
catile was at one time much larger, but
he has reduced the number so as to en
able him to proceed quickly with the
improvement of his stock, and also to rest
his pastures within fence. Captain
Kennedy, also of Nueces cobnty, owns
about 140,000 acres, all within fence, and
and about 40,000 cattle; while Messrs.
Coleman, Matthis & Fulton, of Aransas,
have 210,000 acres within fence, and own
about 100,000 cattle. This firm, in fact,
are the the largest stock owners in Texas
and may well be so. Mrs. Rabb, Corpus
Christi. has 50,000 acres inclosed and
owns 15,000 cattle, about one-half of her
herd having been disposed of in one con*
tract last fall at $4 a head.”
Xo More Hide-Saddles,
There are few traps for the female sex
any more deadly than the side-saddle,
and no 0119 of any sense grieves at the
decay of the “ noble art of horseman
ship,” a3 long as art cannot be pr&ctut&t
except at the risk of the ladies doing so."
English people are devoted horsemen,'
and the ladies as well as the men take the
highest pleasure in galloping after the
hounds. But recently an English lady;
who enjoys what is considered an envia
ble frame for skill and daring, in riding
close to the hounds, and v?ho is also a
pattern wife and mother, has announced
that she will risk her life no ibhre riding
on aside-saddles, but in the next' seaioa
will ride masculine fashion. Her an
nouncement haa set the whole fashiona
ble world to tglkino;, since she is a wo
man of spirit, and |S is believed she will
do what she says. If she does she will
have followers without doubt, arid it
may be that this will inaugurate the Itmjj
I expected dress revolution.