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VOL. IV.--NO. 18
THEJOURNAL
LY LA H ATT IS & tiRAKHKItuY.
CASH SUnsCRII’IION RATES.
One ropy one Teir
One ropv nix months * Jj”
Out* copy three months 11)
Anyone fuviiisl'irj? five Ki'hpciihevs, with
the money, will ro--eivc* st copy tree
hwbpcriijerH vi lihi'i their papers chfincoo
from (ir,c pn t-office to mother. must stite
the name of the pOft office from "liich thev
Tvifh it rh'vnpctl, tirf well us that to which
thev wish it sent.
All siihst ripti >n must l e p*H in advance.
'Did paper will hr* stoj ]'o<l ut tliocufi of the
time paid for, unless Bubsciiptions tire pre
viously renewed
Fifty numbers complete the year.
CASH ADVERTISING RATE*.
Space 1 mo 8 moK (I in os **- ni* s
1 in, h $ 2 ho $ 4 fiO TTOO * 10 00
2 inches.. 450 725 11 00 18 00
8 inches .. 600 fl 00 15 00 22 00
4 inches.. 550 11 00 18 00 27 00
J column.. 050 14 00 25 00 85 00
l column.. 12 50 25 00 40 00 00 00
1 colnmn.. 22 00 11 00 0.2 00 100 08
Maniaces and deaths not exceeding six
Sues will he published tree
Payment* t he marie qe irterly in auvaneo,
actor to schedule rites, unless otherwise
agree * upon.
Persons sending advertisements will
the length of tim- thev wish them published
nnd tin* spare they want them to OC -u*y
P tidies adverti'insr by contract ''ill he re
trie ted to their legitimate l" sirens
Legal Advertisements.
Sheriffs sales. |cr inth. four weeks.. .S3 50
“ mortgage ti f<i sales, per inch,
eight weeks ■ ■ • ®
Citnim for letters of ndrainwtrntion,
pniipiianshio, etc., tliirtv days 3 00
Notice to de ! ‘ti>is anil creditors of an
estate, forty davs ■ • ,J
Application for leave to sc 1 land, four
weeks 4 00
Pales of iand, etc., per in h. forty_<iavs 5 00
“ “ perishable property, per inch,
ten dav -
Application for letters of dismisrion from _
euardi inshio. fortv davs. . . ° 1
Application for letters of dismission from r
administration, three ninths ‘ ol
Establishing lost papers, the full space
of three months, per inch ‘ vu
Compel limr titles from executors or ad
ministrators -vliere bond has hcc-n
given bv the deceased, the full space
of three months, per inch J dll
Es ray notices, thirty days 300
Ku e for foreclosure of mortgage, four
months, mon lily, per in-h. 'J™
Kale of insolvent papers, thirty days... •> 00
Homestead, two week- *
73tASineiS Cares
TDr. T- i_> J"exils.lxas.
.-V: > "...
des m TKT
-•
-
HAMILTON, GA.
J. M. MOBLEY,
attorney at law,
IIA MILTON, GA.
Will continue to practice law in all tlie
Plate and United Suites Courts.
TUOS. S. MITCHELL , M. L>.,
Resident Physician and Surgeon,
I’AMILTON GEOP.GIA
Special a tent’on given to operative surgery.
%3T- Terms Cash
J, T. Blount. H. C. Cameron.
JiL O VET & CA MEII ON ,
ATTORNEYSAT LAW,
HA.illLTl.fi, liELKGIA
Will practice in tlie State and Federa
Cos mis. Office in the Court House.
ALOMO A. LOZIEIi,
Attorney akd Coukseloe at Law,
VOLK MU US, GA.
Practices in Slate and Federal Courts in
o<.o gia ana AUmain u Make' Cotuu.ercial
1 jiw a hi ecialty. Oiii.o over No. 1-0 Colum
bus, Ua. r tleul-ly
Hines Dozier,
ATTORNEY-AT LAW,
HAMILTON, GEORGIA
Will practice in the Chattahoochee Circuit,
or anywhere else. Office in the Northwest
corner of the Court-house, up-*t hs. jnB
Columbus Dental Rooms,
W. T. TOOL, Proprietor,
Ciorgia Home finildin?, rnlumbos Gil
CENTRAL HOTEL,
Colu.mL)US, C, a-
Airs. S. E. Yt'oLDRiDf.E, Pr< p’ss.
L. 1. Harvey, Clerk.
R. A. RUSSELL. C. R. Rl':-SEELL
RUSSELL & R USSEL L,
Attorneys at Lair,
COLUMBUS, - - - ' - GA.
Will ’practice in the” State and F derjl
Court*
ffice ore r Aaw & Mnrdcck's fctore,
100 Broad S reet, ( ! itnl : Gi.
WHICH SHALL IT 11 Kf
[A ricli man li > lin<l tio children
proposed to a poor relative "ho had
seven, to take one of them, and prom
ised if the pan ms would consent
that he would* give them property
enough to m ike themselves and their
other six children comfortable for
life.]
Which sh 11 it be? Which shall it be?
I lo deed at John. John looked at roe ?
And when I found that I roust speak
My voice seemed strangely low ami weak —
“Tell roe again wlut Robert said;”
And then I, listening, bent mv Leal
TIL is Ids lelt r :
“ I w l ]’ give
A Lome nnd land, where you shall live,
If, in return, from out your seven,
One child to me for aye is given ”
I looked at John’s old garments worn ;
I thought of all that I had borne
Of poverty, and work and earn,
Wi.iuh I, though willing, could not share;
I thought of seven young mouths to lee I,
Of seven little children's need,
And then of this.
n Come, John,” said I,
“We’il choose among them a* thev lie
Asleep ” So, walking h nI in hand,
Dear John and I. surveyed our band ;
First to the cradle lightl ■ stepped,
Where hili m, the b diy, slept.
Softly the father stooped lo lay
His r ugh hand down in a levrna way,
When dream or whisper made her stir,
And huskily he said, “ Not h r!”
We stooped beside the trundle bed,
Ami one long ray of lamplight shed
Athwnt the boyish faces lieie,
In sleep so beautiful and fair.
I saw on Jamas’ rough, red cheek
A tear un died. Ere John could speak.*
“ He’s hut a baby, too,” i-ai I I,
And kiss, and bi n as we hurried by.
Rile, patient Robbie’s angel face
Slip ,n Lis sleep bore guff ling’s trace
“ No, for a thousand crowns not him !”
lie whispeied while our eyes were dim.
Poor Dak ! bad Dick ! our wayward son—
Tui Indent, rest'ess, idle one—
Could he he spared V Nay; He who gave
Bade ut* b frit iul him to tut* grave;
Only a mother’s heait count be
Patient enough tor such us he ;
An l so said John, ” 1 w-.r.ld not dare
To take uim from her 1 ai.-id ■ pray er.
Then stole we gof ly tip above,
And knell by Miry, child of love,
*• Perhaps f r h r 'twould better be,”
I said to John. Quite silent y
He lifted up*a curl th .t lay
Across hei check in a v litul way,
And shook hi- head: “Nay, love n it the;!’
dhe while my heart 1-eit audib’y.
Only one more. or,r i Ida t lad,
Tru ty and truthful, good and glad,
tlo li’;e l.is f'th-r “N •, John, no
I cannot, will not, let him go.”
And so we wrote in a courteous way,
We could not give one child away ;
And afterwards toil liahter seemed,
Thinking of that of which eve dreamed,
Happy in truth that not one face
Was mie.-cd fr an its aceu-tomed place;
Thankful to w ok for all the seven,
Trusting the rest to One in heaven.
A MOUNTAIN COURT SCENE
HOW THE NAME OP “MOTHER” SAVED A
LIFE.
Oli] Job Dawson had been duly
elected to the responsible position of
Justice of the Peace, end this war
the first case that demanded his at
tention. Job was a veteran moun
taineer, nlnl had lived in the shadow
of the lofty peaks, hunting, trapping
and fighting Indians, to use his own
word-, “since Adam was a kid.” In
that rough region an aeons ition of a
great crime against, any one is but a
forerunner of a “hanging bee,’’ and
a trial is seldom thought of. But in
the present instance a wild “cuss”
who had been frequenting the settle
ment had been appropriating the
“broncho”(lndian pony), belonging
to a neighboring ranchman, had
been pursued, captured and brought
hack. Old Job was summoned to
try the culprit, and a spot in the
rocky gulch near the squire’s cabin
was selected for the site of the inves
tigation. A motly crowd ofhunt< rs,
trappers, minors and rancheros were
present. Some were lying on the
ground and other were sitting upon
:he rocks, ail anxiously awaiting the
squire’s coming. Job soon came
from towards the cabin, and, with
dignified air, seated himself upon a
boulder, took off bis bear-skin cap
and said:
“Fellers, the court are ready to git
down to b ; z, an’ I want ver all to
choose yer racket, an' let np on that
chin music according to law. '1 brow
ver hair in sight, an’ pay ’tention to
the court.”
Every bat cam' 1 off at this com
mand, and Ilis Ilorter, glancing
around the the circ'e, said:
“VV bar is the cuss? ”
The nio'jn'.Yu-.crs, jrracd with
HAMILTON, HARRIS CO., GA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 17, 1876.
Ilenry r iles and fix-sli colors, step
ped forward w ith the tlielf, u young
m m wearing a devil-may-care ex
j pression. 11 is hands wore securely
j fastened behind his back with buck
skin thongs. Clad in buckskin from
bead to foot, lie presented a pictur
esque appearance as lie faced the
squire.
“Wat do yor call ycr name when
ycr at lienit- V ** asked the court.
“Ain’t got any home, leastways in
these pans,’* sullenly replied the
prisoner.
“Ain’t hey? Well, what’s the name
yjr tuk when yor left the Slates,
then?’’
“The boys hyar on the hills call me
Tiger Jim.’’
“Well, Tigo, ycr spotted a lioss
thief, an’ I reckon thar’s something
in it, or the boys wouldn’t a brought
you in. you can’t expect a trial like
you’d get down iti Laramie, or in
env of them towns along toe road.
We haven’t cny paper, pens or ink,
or eny of that foolishness up hyar
in the hills, an’ ikar ain’t one of us
could engineer ’em if we had; so
we’ll jest g. indyer through an’ do
(lie best we can for ver. In the name
of the law 1 now ask yer did you col
lar that boss—but stop ’or right ilmr,
doggone it, I forgot to swar yon.
Cum mitt-y near forgittin’ it. Hold
up yer right ban’! ”
“Ilo’d up nothin’. How kin I
when they are tied up titer’n
blazes! ”
“That’s so. Yer k’rect, Tige, but
guess eny member of the body’ll be
’cording to law in extreme cases.
Steddy him a little, fellers, so’s he
kin hold up his right foot.
r l ig" raiv-d his moecasin-coyered
foot, while a guard on each side held
him in position.
“Now, then, I ain’t a fly on them
ar lawyers’affydavys, but I’ll make
her stout euouuh th hold a Mexican
mule, Tiger Jim, do you swear by
the holy Moses, according to liielaws
ef '•Vyemirg Territory, that every
time yer chip into mv racket ye’ll
give us a square truth ? An’ ef you
don’t, do ycr hope that ycr may get
chawed up b, a griz/'o, chopped to
pieces by a Sioux, strung np to a pine
with a rope ’round yer neck, an’ fall
to connect in Heaven when yer light
goes out, to the best of yer iiudei *
stanilin’ as provided by law, s’help
ver God, eh ? ’’
“That’s jist w’at I does, Pardy.’
“Now, Ttge, yer under oat It, an’
ev’ry time yer speak yer want to hit
the bull’s eye. Did yer hear that,
boss ? ”
“Wall, uncle Job, there’s no use o’
lyin’ bout it, an’ I’ll tell yer jist how
it war. Las’ night you know thnr
was a j tniboree over to A1 Mikiugs’
ranch in Miller’s gulch, an’ I war
thar. A! had been in Lamarie City
an’ got. a keg o’ good old budge, an’
we ail got party full. After the
dancin’war over I pulled out for
Bowles’ ranch, wliar I am bangin’
out, an’ as I war staggerin’ down
’round Mountain Cats hill, I run right
onto the broncho that war picketed
out in the grass, an’ war jist drunk
enough to mount him an’ lit.e out. I
know I’m going to swing for it, au’
I’ll rim game, too. I ain’t worth a
cuss, any way, an’ ef it warn’t fur
my good old mother hack in the
Stall s [here the tears began to roll
down his bronzed cheeks], who never
closes her eyes ’thout prayin’ God to
send mu hack to her, I’d laugh at
death an’ help yer fix the rope; but
when I think of that darliti’ old soul
I get weaker’n a wounded antelope.
I tell ye, fellers I’ve been a tough
cuss ever since I struck out to these
mountains, an’ I s’pose the world’ll
bo better ’thout tne in it. My old
mother will suffer —1 know that—for
I’m her only kid, an’ hev sent her
every ounce o’ dust that I could
span*, an’ it is all situ had to live on.
Sue’s been a good nri to me—God
bless fieri —an’l’m sorry I haven’t
lived so’s I can camp with her up
thar [raisin’ his tearful eyes toward
Heaven]; an’, hoys, won’t some o’
you write her? Torn Kirk thar
knows whar she lives, an’ tell her I
go! let out by an Injun, or pegged
out nat’rally. For God’s sake don’t
let her know I was strangled. The
news’ud kill her. But then I’ll cheese
this gab or ye’ll think I’m weakenin’
—an’ the man don’t live as can skeer
Tiger .Jim. Elevate me. boys, jist as
quick as ye please. I’m ready when
ye are.”
During lhi*~rt cital Jim's eyes were
filled with li ar*, and a close observer
,wou'd have detected “silent tveep-
ini!” on all sides. The word “moth
er” had awakened tender recollec
lions in tbo heart of every ono of
those hardy mountaineers. Men who
could faco death in any shape with
out a particle of feeling did not try
to hide their tears at the mention of
that sacred name, mo Iter 1 How
sweet it sounded to their ears! It
carried them back to tbo happiest
days in the dead past, when they
were blessed with the love of parents,
before the insatiable thirst for gold
had led them into these mountain
wilds. Not a word was spoken fora
few moments, then old Job drew his
horny hand across his watery eyes,
and said in a husky voice:
“Tigo, ye wouldn’t break an oath,
would yc ? ’’
“No, Job Dtwson, not for friend or
foe. 'i here ain’t a boy in the hills as
can say that Jim ever went back on
even iiis given word. I’m a rough un
an’ do some miley mean things, but
when I say a thing, you can gamble
every dollar you’ve got upon its bein’
straight.”
“Well, Tigo, we had intended to
swung ye, an’ ye deserve swingin’, but
I can’t git rid o’ that, ‘mothei* chin
ning ye gave us. I s’pee.t the old
lady set her heart on seein’ ye again,
an’ is weariu' her old eyes out lookin,
for yer. I’ve got an old mother my
self, an’ though I hevn’t sot eyes on
her since ’4O, her pictur’s right hyar
in my heart, an’ it’s a pleading for
yer old woman, Tige. It’s rutf, Tigo,
ruff, an’—let’s see—yes, darned if I
don’t du it. Jack, cut them strings
no’s he can get his hands loose. Thar,
that’s it. Now, Tige, hold up your
right hand, an’ ef yer ever swore
strong doit now. Do ye swar by the
great God and yer blessed old
mother, that if this Court discharges
ye, ye’il life rite out for the States an’
go home to the ol 1 lady, an* love her
an’ comfort her as long as she slays
out of Heaven ? Do you swar to this,
Tige, before Almighty God and this
Court? ”
“1 do, Job, and tliar’s my fist on it.
Put it tlror. I swar it, and I’ll pull
stakes rite away.’’
“Then ye’re released on them
terms, and the boys’ll help ye git
yer traps down to the station; but
mind, tell ye, Tige, ef ye’re ever
caught in the hills again, ye’d go up
a tree. Fellers, the Court’s over an’
the prisoner’s discharged.’’
tVABiiiNQTON, May 3.—Hon Henry
R. Harris, of Georgia, made an able
and exhaustive speech in the House
this morning upon our industries as
they relate io our finances.
Four Hundred Thousand Silver
Quarters. —The Treasury Depart
ment on Saturday morning received
SIOO,OOO in silver quarters from San
francisco. This is the first install
ment of the order for SOOO,OOO in
coin recently issued.
The Georgia Supreme Court decis
ion that a debtor may make an effec
tual waiver of the homestead exemp
tion, has been followed by another
which bolds that usury in the con
tract under which the deed was exe
cuted renders it void, and the home
stead right is not taken away.
'■■• m i—..
Rev. Benjamin Roberts, perhaps
the oldest minister of the Washing
ton Baptist Association, died at his
home twelve miles from Millcdgeviile
on the 22d of April. He was elected
clerk of the Washington Association
when it was first organized and held
the position almost uninterruptedly
up to the time of his death—forty odd
years.
The impeachment proceedings
against Belknap has never fairly be
gun although the Senate brings up
the question every day or so, and
listen to discussions between the
managers on the part of the House
and Belknap’s council, touching pre
liminary matters. It is astonishing
how much “red tape’’ formality it
takes to get the impeachment court
ready lor business.
m t f ■ ■
Yes, He Loved Her.
On a Woodward avenue car yes
terday, was a man who bad look
ed upon lager beer one glass too
much. Ills eyes were half closed,
and liis head bobbed right and left
as the car banged along. Opposite
him sat a woman with a baby in her
arms. The eh Id looked up and
smiled, and the fond mother pinched
its cheek and asked :
“ Does darling love me ?”
The toper straightened np, got his
gaze to bear on the woman and in a
mournful voice called out:
“Mi your darling? Does I love
yon? Yotijnz bezz your las’ dollar
I do!”
■ - iai i is—
An Invitation.
The alumnae of tbo La Grange
Female College aro cordially request
ed by the resident alumnae to atlend
the reunion during the approaching
commencement, Juno 11 th to 14th,
inclusive.
Our homes will be opened to all,
and we urge those intending to give
us the pleasure of their presence, to
notify us by letter in order that the
details of arrangement may be ar
ranged.
As the members of the graduating
does have decided to wear calico on
coinmeucemont day. it will be con
sidered the appropriate dress for that
occasion, and while each one must
feel perfectly free to use her own
judgement in this particular, it is
hoped that a majority of the alumnae
will appear in calico as the pronounced
advocates of practical economy.
Mbs. J. M. Tomlinson,
“ It. S. McFahlih,
W. O. Tugolk.
Com. of Invitation, Alumnae Associa
tion.
Mary A. Ford—“ Una.”
Mary A. Ford, wife of Augustine
Ford, brother of the editor of the
Irish World , departed this life on
the 18th ultimore. She was known
in literature by the name “ Una.” As
a poet she stood in the front lank of
bards of this generation. Possessing
grace and strength, culture and sim
plicity, a tenderly feeling whose
depths went down to the very well
spring of the human heart, combined
with Judith-like heroism which often
rose to the sublime “Una,” clothing
her conceptions in a diction almost
faultless, marshaled her thoughts and
sent them forth in order—each word
fulling precisely into its proper place
and all moving forward in a line with
elastic regularity—like an army in
battle array 1 Her verse flowed as
smooth as a limpid stream. Her
tropes shot forth like so many winged
spirits. In every line of hers ap
peared a dazzling apparition, and
every poem was a brilliant spectacle
adorned with living und harmonious
figures.
In New York the crowd of silver
seekers at the sub- trea-ury lias van
ished. The Daily Bulletin thus
sketches the full history of theme
tallic crusade:
“ The furore of bright “quarters’’
was, from the first, a mere matter of
curioisity, which every restaurant
keeper and store keeper was eager to
satisfy so long as it lasted: It could
not, however, last long; for the mo
ment everybody had seen and han
dled the new pices, the charm .f nov
elty was lost, and nobody would pre
fer them to the fractional notes.—
Judging from yesterday’s appearan
ces at the sub-treasury, we are ap
proaching the end of this excitement;
and it is fortunate we are, for the
premium it had caused on the silver
and paper fractional money was caus
ing a haarding of both Lhat threaten
ed a very inconvenient scatci'y of
small change- When this is past, the
public are likely to show a prefer
ence for the notes over the silver, as
more convenient, and should lhat
be the case, the notes will be ex
changed for the silver only when
they become so badly worn as to bo
no longer passable. In that case
premiums and hoarding will disap
pear, and the metal tokens will grad
ually find their way into circulation
without inconvenience.
The story of the Vanderbilt Uni
versity is thus told in a late number
of the New York Sun:
The Commodore likes to relate in
cidents in his life to interest friends
as they sit with him. The other day
he told the history of his connection
with the Nashville University. About
two years ago Bisltop McTyeire of
the Methodist church, now president
of the University, and who is related
to Mrs. Commodore Vanderbilt, was
slaying at theNewYoik hotel, un
der treatment for an obstinate dis
ease by Dr. Bodenhamer. The com
modore imitated the Bishop to stop
at bis be use, w hich ho good natuied-
ly said, was as g>o 1 as a h .tel in
New Ynrk. The bishop went, and a
stro ig friendship was cemented be
tween host and guest. The d<y be
fore the bishop was to leave the com
modore e t ied him and confided to
him his proj ct of establishing a uni
versity somewhere at the South. It
was a duty, the commodore sai I, that
the north owed to the South, to give
some snbstami and token of reconcilia
tion that wonbl be a heiud't, and ho
canted to do his individual share by
founding no institution The next
day the commodore exnlainiil h s
plans to the bishop. Too, agreed
.upon them and choose Nashville for
the site of the University. The com
rnodoro then gave a oheeck for $500,-
000 to found the instilu iou, and he
has since added SIOO,OOO.
For ilni Journal ]
To Boys.
By close reading and with reten
tive memories wo lads of'iho liDh
century may learn a great many of
life’s real lessons, that, will make tho
future the present. Heading loads
the mind along pleasant paths to
tho bright horizon of human knowl
edge, where, like the Arcadians pur
suing tho sun, they stand aloft and
contemplate the golden efFilgence
when, lost to other eyes, it illumes
the enchanted regions of then itroden
future. Let us, by w lint we have
read, nnd realized never Buffer the
Elizabethan age of letters to oi t
strip tho 19th century in science.
We anticipate with joy the time
when America will be as pepulons as
China, as military as Prussia, as iinr
ltine as England, and as powerful as
pagan Borne arrayed in all her beau y
and magnificence. In this enterpris
ing day, we should remember that
our bost friends arc truth and virtue
nnd our be*t companions aro high
endeavors and honorable sentiments;
for Hope and Cheerfulness are the
tlie lamps that light the beauteous
walks. The bread of life is hope;
ilie salt of life is work; the sweetness
of lilo is poesy; the beauty of life is
letters; and with a dauntless courage
that laughs at difficulties, we may
go on in wisdom’s ways with a nerve
that never relaxes, a heart that never
blenches, and with a thought that
never wanders ; —for these are they
which lead us to tho Mastery.
Strive for tho mastery ! never Rive in;
Never ;:ive up—no, never !
Always remember that those whe win
Are those who m ike the endeavor.
Nt ver complain of the want of a trend ;
Expect not another to a'd yon ;
Success must ever on toil depend,
And toil will never degrade you.
M. 13.
A Girl that “Docs Sums” in Ilcr
Slot p.
Jennie Lawson is a member of tho
second class in the Eighteenth street,
female school. Friday last a number
of arithmetical examples were given
out tor solution, but three of them,
in percentage, requiring long proces
ses of division, resisted all Jennie’s
efforts to secure the correct, answer.
This circumstance seemed to di-tress
the child, and alter working through
t hem again and again without success,
she went home determined by per
sistent effort to find out where Iter
error was, and she continued to strive
until long after the rest of the family
had retired. Toward tnidni ’lit, her
mother, who slept in an adjoining
room, called to her daughter lhat
she had better go to lied, lest site
should be late in rising the next, day.
The girl at once retired, and in a lew
tiiomeu s was last asleep. About an
hour afterward, Mrs. Lawson was
again awakened by a sudden noise in
her daughter’s bedchamber, which
was then in entire darkness. .She
called, but receiving no answer, arose
to see what was the matter, Jennie
was sitting at her desk, and had ap
pareuily jut completed some work
on her slate, the muse having been
made by the falling ol a ruler from
the table to the floor. The girl was
last asleep. Mrs. Lawson did not
awake her at that time, and on the
following day it was a'ler noon be
fore the girl could be aroused from
the deep sle-p in winch she seemed
to be. Lpoll awakening, Jennie
spoke of the problems, and expressed
her intentions ol making a further
uiul at their solution. Upon getting
the slate she tound them completely
solved in her own hand, each line
neatly ruled, and the figuring with
out the slightest error. At this she
was great,y surprised Her last
know.edge of the puzzling examples
was of leaving them unsolved on the
oight before. Oi her performanebs
Hi Inr sleep she knew wlieuuwa.se
absolutely nothing, and her mother
not having mentioned the incident,
lell her more bewildered. Vesterday
the girl brought the w <-rk to school
mid related tne meid, ut attending to
her leaeher. The room was entirely
dark, the girl soundly asleep duiing
the working out ot the te.-t example-.
•She had never before shown any t>vni
tom# of sleep-working, nor have any
ol her relatme bee.i so all','tied.
$2.00 A YEAR
WIT nistl lIIJMOIt. ’
The iron horse has but one ear—
the engineer.
Pluck will carry a man whero a
palace car will not.
Ladies like to seo greenbacks con-’
verted into pinbaeks.
What does a young fellow look
like when gallanting his sweetheart
through a shower? Arainbeati.
“What L the next thing to a hen
stealing? '’ VYhi, a cock robin, to
be sure.
What workman must a’wiys have
his g 1 -tss before be can do a day’s
work ? Agl zier.
A vin“gar-hearted old bachelor
says ho always looked under the
head of “marriages” for the news of
the weak.
A baM-headed man peddling a
h iir restore'' wa tho confusing spec
tacle presented to Danbury in the
past wc.l;.
Vaccinate. Politeness never hurts
anybody. Small pox never will not
attack you if you allow it to take
your arm.
A despairing husband asks the
ledger how to elevate an ill temper
ed wife. Get her ire up, wo should
say.
Lace is what ruffl s the men now
a-days.--.Kr. You are wrong. Laie
ruffles the women as usual. It is the
paying for it that rnfflles the men.
Senator Matt. Carpenter says that
this government must bo rtiu mo rn
economically, and so he has given up
wearing suspenders.
You cannot expect a man to stand
corrected when he lias been knocked
down for making an erroneous state
ment.
Tbo threatened financial crisis in
Austria need not cause the people
-there any serious alarm. It’s always
easy to find a V in Vienna.
If Noah had made a failure in hi-*
ship-shipping, lie would probably
have gone to Now Jersey, knowing
there is a Now-ark there.
The bull-frog was the first circu
lating greenback, and the entire breed
have been notorius inflationists ever
eineo the flood.
Another explosion is imminent in
an lowa household. Oneol the boys
accidentally swallowed a pistol cart
ridge last week.
An editor well known in the vicini
ty of Irvington, N. Y., a very relig
ious sort of a chap, awoke in church
last Sunday morning, and yelled out:
‘ D it, more copy.”
“Is your house a warm one, land
lord?’’asked a gentleman in search
of a house. ‘lt ought to be,” was
the reply; “the painter gave it two
coats recently.”
There is a woman in Jersey so eco
nomic t! that the other night, while
her husband wis abed, she turned
and made over his last pair of parks
lor oik: of the children.
“Landlord, didn’t you ever five a
gentleman to stop with you before? ’’
“Are you a gentleman?” “Yes, I
am.” Then I never had one to stop
with me before,’’
A frontier Texan who was asked if
he was going to the Centennial Ex
hibition, guilelessly replied: “I’d like
to, but I’ll have to put it off tiil next
year.”
“Vill you flake founding?” sail a
German teetotaler to a friend, while
standing near a tavern. “I don’t
care if 1 do,” was the reply, “Veil,
den, let us tak a vulk.”
A Detroit florist is getting np “a
language of vegetable#" It you hit a
man wi h a turnip that means: I
don’t think much of your relatives
way back for s ven generations.”
A father bent on instructing bis
three-year-old son said: “If you had
three apples and should give me one,
how many would you have left?”
“I wouldn’t do it, pa,” was the
prompt reply.
She waltzed like Juno at the hop;
I voxel ihe pus ini I wo aid pop;
and ns partner tendered her a seal,
my throbbing heart with anxious
p ing did heat. I tripped beside my’
lovely charm; 1 bowed and gently
touched her arm. “Engaged lor
next,’’! said, “aiy dar mg Kate?’’
* Go ’way,” “You hit my vaccinate.’