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WAIFS Alin WHIMS.
A Lie ker-dealer—the schoolmaster,
The sodn-drinker often thinks of
foam.
The promises of some men always re
main shall owe.
New way to “know all about thy
self”—get a Presidential nomination.
Isn’t it slightly paradoxical to call a
man with full heard a bare-faced liar?
Fly time—when you hear your
father's cane thumping along the hall.
Commissioner'Le Duo, in his crop re
ports, never mentions the hops at the
seaside.
A western journal heads an article:
‘‘A Lunatic Escapes and Marries a
Widow.” Escaped, eh? We should say
he got caught.
A Whitehall man has discovered a
way of instantly tinning sweet milk into
fresh butter. He feeds it to a goats,
Patent applied for.
A Wisconsin theorist says that hay
will satisfy hunger. There may be some
thing in this, for a couple of straws will
frequent satisfy thirst.
It is claimed by some medical men
that smoking weakens the eyesight.
Maybe it does, but just Bee how it
strengthens the breath. .
Boston has a publio vinegar inspector
at a salary of SI,OOO per year. One
would think ho would get awfully tired
looking for his “mother.”
A little girl in church, after the con
tribute m plate had been passed, Com
placently and audibly said, ‘‘ I paid for
four, mamma, was that right?”
Said Jones: “Smith won’t have so
soft a thing as he had.” “I don’t know,”
replied Robinson, “he’ll have a soft
thing so long as he doesn’t lose his
head.”
Bridget—“And how shall I cut the
poie, mum?” Lady of the house—“ Cut
it into quarters.” Bridget—“And how
many quarters wood I cut it into,
mum? ”
You may have notioed that the flies
never bother a speaker, no matter how
dull he is, but invariably attack the over
worked sitter who is trying to get a lit
tle sleep.
They’re high-toned in Deadwood, and
they wouldn’t go to see the Black Crook
until it was advertised written by Shakes
peare, and then they couldn’t keep peo
ple away.
“Ah heavens!” cries Nana, sentiment
ally, to her visitor, “when one is adored
by a magnificent captain like you, noth
ing ever can make her love again—unless
it is a major.”
“My umbrella is getting decidedly
shabby,” said a young man about town
one evening last week. “I believe I will
have to strike another prayer-meeting
the first rainy night.”
Occasionally you find a Detroit man
who can stand having his whisky stolen
and not complain; but when the flies
pester them during a morning nap, they
all swear.— Boston Post.
Bullion is wealth in a crude form,
and after it is coined and kept at interest
a while, it becomes wealth in accrued
form again. This language of ours is
worse than the gem puzzle, a heap.
Deuced queer how men differ about
different things. When a man hooks a
lot of fish he will brag of it for three
days, and when he hooks a lot of apples
he hasn’t a word to say about it.
“Oh I thought this was a drawing
room car!” apologetically observed a
lady to a man in the door of the smoker
as she discovered her mistake. “It is,
mum,” he said, drawing on hisn with all
his might.
A poet asks: “When lam dead and
lowly laid, * * * * And clods fall
heavy from the spade, Who’ll think of
me?” Don’t worry. Tailors and shoe
makers have very retentive memories,
and you’ll not be forgotten.
A New Yoke man was challenged to
fight a duel the other day, and being at
liberty to choose his own weapons pro
posed a trip to Boston on a Sound steamer.
The challenger backed out. He said the
idea that death must attend a duel was a
relic of the dark ages.
A visitor enters a French newspaper
office and is greeted politely by the office
boy—“lf monsieur comes to fight a duel
he will have to be kind enough to call
again; all our editors are already engaged
for to-day.”— Paris Charivari.
An Owego man, after a little experi
ence, truthfully and indignantly asserts
that no woman, however nervous, has a
right to wake up her husband from a
sound sleep to tell him on inquiring
what’s the matter, “Nothing, only I
wanted to know if you were awake. ”
“Nasby” takes pride in the service of
his father and grandfather, in one way
or another. As for himself, he says:
“My own military record is clear. In
the late rebellion I served by substitute.
I furnished three substitutes, all of whom
to-day are in good health—in Canada.”
A Freak of Nature.
it is reported that out in Mason Valley
a Piute squaw lately gave birth to a fe
male papoose, which lias, instead of hands,
two almost perfectly-shaped frogs joined
to the wrists at their hack. The infant
is able to move the legs and open the
month of what takes the place of the right
hand. The one fastened on the left wrist
is not so complete, as the mouth will not
open, but the legs move as freely as the
other. It is supposed that the mother
was frightened by a frog sometime pre
viously. The Indians regard the infant
as “ big medicine, ” and the squaw now
occupies a high social position.— Logan
County (Nev.) Times.
Transplanting Wild Flowers.
Every one who desires to remove from
ilie woods and other wild localities the
finest native flowers, should mark the
spot where the roots may be found
after the blooming season has ceased.
This should be done while plants are
made conspicuous with their blossoms.
Early spring flowers have now passed,
but many are coming out and more are
to follow. Our ornamental gardens
should not be made up exclusively of
exotics; we have many American plants
of surprising grace and beauty which,
interspersed in the wilder portions of
grounds, add greatly to their attractions.
—A merican Cultivator
Kelklsh people of the very amiable
kind are the very worst sort of people to
get along with. They conquer you with
their smiles, and you are so greatly over
whelmed by their gusli that you have
not the grit to complain. They say that
you are aw fully good, but they are never
very good to you. They say that you
are “a dear," and they take the pillow
from under your head, still saying that
to give it up you are “ a dear;” and you
may keep on being “a dear” so long as
they are amiable and 6elfish enough to
let you do so.
Mother (very sweetly) to her chil
dren, who have just had a distribution
of candy—“ What do children say when
they get candy ?” Chorus— “ More 1"
JV 0 William* * V *
Hamilton Journal.
LAMAR A DENNIS. Publishers.
VOL. VIII.—NO. 38.
suivsirr on the hills.
BY ROBERT FRANKKNMTKIN DOTY.
Lo: in the west the light Is being hid
By intervening v-.oi, wul Nature old
Huh hushed those busy daylight songs.
Which wore but merry clanking* understood
Ah coming from the haunt* of auu-llt hours!
The red glare on our mundane sphere la aeen—
The glowing minuet shines upon the hills,
While earth la richly carpeted in gieen.
And all the varied hues which Nature doea possess.
On yonder’* hill we see the fiery gleam—
The dying Htroken of Nature’* portraiture.
Whereat all living things seem satisfied
That sunset brings it darkness and ita rest—
That sunaet’a deep philosophy is felt.
As some great god propelling mother earth
And bringing to us all a grand reviow
Of all ita happenings and past events
Ah! quietude is settling over earth.
A dampening gloom in overspreading aL,
While juilkuyddN cease the* r merry songs,
And eriehafc chirrup in the tall, dank vri-ae. > *
The lambs are looking at tho far-off hills,
While brilliant sun-tints give a picture fair,
But in the east the elonds o’erhang our earth.
While from the South a gentle breeze is sent!
We murmur not that night lu coming on
To give us dreams and reveries of frieuds,
For. as we see flie swallows hoiuew’ard fly,
We know they, In their haven, dream as we,
And so our hearts are gladdened at the thought
That all creation is alive with love,
As when the sunset on the hills about
Gives fervor and sublimity to life 1
Oh! praise to all for beauteous sunset fair;
On! praise to 10m who sends His goodness down
To our great earth, and thinks of us when we
Would wish to rest in quietude and peace—
To dream and picture memories of all
The fair, the rare that dwelleth round about!
Ah, things which add a pleasure to our life,
And make us thankful for our little all 1
The beauteous allegory of our life
Portrays the picture of our gladdened hearts,
A luring coast whereon we wander down
r l3ie stream of life, across whose waters dee'*
We see a sunrise on the other shore:
11 comes like butterflies of silvery light,
And sinks again upon the distant hills—
Ah. glorious sunset on the hills of God!
THE RUNAWAYS’ REUNION.
BY MBS. J. V. H. KOONB.
CHAPTER I.
“ Well, for my part, I am very sorry
the old farm was sold, and the Ilustons
have left us. They lived there many a
year, and were hard-working, pious,
quiet people, and it will be a long time
before we shall have their like again for
neighbors. ”
“ I hope it will, father,” said 10-year
old Ned, with a sigh of relief. “I hope
the new-comers will not make me churn
or carry a load of stove-wood every time
I’m sent there in a hurry of an errand.”
“ Chores are the making of boys, and
they should always be ready to perform
them,” answered the stern, mistaken
parent.
“ I think I have quite enough to do at
home to make or break any boy, and, if
I’m ever seqt to Mr. Maynard’s, I trust
there’ll be no old Mrs. Maynard there to
set me churning, or carrying crockery
from the cellar, swill to the pigs, or
wood from the shed, as old Mrs. Huston
always did.” I
“I think you will not be troubled in
that way,” said meek-eyed Mary, a
sweet-faced girl of 14, whose dread of
endless drudgery fully equated that of
ber little brother. “Mrs. Carroll told
me yesterday that there were but three
in family of the Maynards, aqd that Mrs.
Maynard is an accomplished lady, keeps
a housekeeper and a waiting-maid, and
devotes all her time to the study of
music and painting.”
“Ha ! ha ! a fine specimen for a farm
er's wife ! ” exclaimed Mr. Woodruff,
with a glance at his daughter that made
her shiver.
“I cannot understand,” ventured
Mary, “ why farmers’ wives and daugh
ters, if they have any taste and talent
for it, should -not study books, music,
painting or anything else that tends to
educate or elevate them. I have lately
read that women all over the country are
forming themselves into reading socie
ties and art clubs, and are making rapid
progress in whatever study they
take up. ”
“Nonsense! nonsense ! Lately read !
I like that sopnd! Where have you
lately read such stuff?” demanded the
infuriated father.
“In a paper that Mrs. Maynard sent
to Mrs. Carroll.”
“I am sure I have always taken great
pains to keep all kinds of story papers
and books out of my house and out of
my children’s sight, and now you,
Mary, dare to tell me that you lately
read— St. Paul, help me, or such non
sense will be the death of me.”
“ It was not a story paper, father, but
a journal devoted to—”
“Devoted to fiddlesticks! I’ll hear
nothing more of it, and now I here for
bid you to touch any more papers from
Mrs” Carroll. I shall not allow her pro
gressive ideas to creep into and poison
your mind as they did your sister’s—re
member, I say. I’ll have you read no
more of them—it is time now that you
and Ned were about your evening work.”
triad of any escape from her father's
pinching presence, poor Mary started
for the cow pasture with Ned, while Mr
Woodruff, to the annoyance of his tired
wife, continued grumbling about the de
generacy of the times and the growing
idleness and forwardness of girls. In
the rage of a moment he had mentioned
his eldest daughter, and as a consequence
his wife was in tears, Mary had darted
away from him with a sorrowful face,
and Ned took on a look of adamant, and
somehow Iris self-trust was always
shaken whenever he thought of her, and
all his household seemed to slip from
under his control if her name escaped
his lips.
The sight of Mr. and Mrs. Woodruff
naturally suggested hawk and dove, yet
there was much in common between
them. His long and tiresome march in
the straight and narrow way, his puny
idea of woman’s sphere affected the life
of his gifted, shrinking wife, as the ab
sence of light and warmth affects a
flower. He had admired all the beauty
his prosaic eye could detect in her paint
ings before they were married, but he
was surprised and disappointed that she
she should attempt or even desire to
touch brush or pencil after they were
married, for wife to him meant little
more than servant of all work ; but he
gave up at last that she should paint all
the pictures she chose provided she
taught their daughters nothing that
would in any way interfere with their
becoming first-class housekeepers and fit
in every sense for hard-working farmer’s
wives. Like Milton, he thought “one
tongue enough for a woman,” and desired
his daughters only to know how to read
the F.Tigliah language, and to know only
enough of arithmetic to keep their but
ter and egg account exact. Qlad of the
privilege of following the only line of
light that stretched itself before her, she
studied and worked, doing doublo duty,
keeping in order her household and
feeding tho spirit within her that never
ceased its clamor for one more and high
er tasto of the beautiful; her studio was
her closet of prayer, her temple of wor
ship, tho one sunny spot in tho lives of
her children, the star that shone through
all the darkness of their lives. Uncon
sciously, its influence was wanning
the hard soil that surrounded the inner
and better life of Mr. Woodruff*
The first that came to brighten their
homo was little Helen, who in her baby
hood possessed, a vest rnmigutsurplus
energy that manifested itself in pranks
of sauciness and self-will. Now, thought
her father, was his opportunity. So he
began to break her, not as he would a 2-
year-old colt, by first coaxing it, but by
abrupt and ill-timed commands to do, and
not to do, whatever would thwart her
girlish put ]jses, by surprising her in her
moments of inspiration and burning her
bits of verse or drawing, and sending her
at once to some dull, dry task, to fit her,
he would say, for womanhood’s stern
duties. Galled in spirit, year after year,
she endured such harsh and uncalled-for
treatment. And only one sweet in a
vast desert of bitterness bound her to
her father; he had found tune to hear
her Bible lessons, all that he permitted
her to study; they had committed to
memory, and could repeat together, a
number of the psalms. And many a time
Helen would wonder how one who could
love and appreciate such beautiful songs
could bo indifferent or dead to the bud
ding, hopes and aspirations of girlhood.
“ Pe'rheps his father taught him os he
tries to teach me—and he was teachable;
he says that I am ‘ perverse and obstin
ate. ’ I think I am, from his standpoint,
but he shall never subdue and crush me
as my dear mother has been subdued
and crushed. My gifts are God-given,
and too sacred for even my father to
trample upon, and I shall use them to the
glory of the Great Giver; if not under
the roof of home then away under the
bending blue somewhere, I shall find a
place that shall be to me a sanctum sanc
torum.” And tho young girl looked de
termined as a lioness as she uttered this
declaration of independence.
CHAPTER EL
Dear Father and Mother : lam assistant
teacher in the High School of this place : am en
gaged for a year. A maiden sister of Mrs. Car
roll, your old neighbor, is Principal. I am
boarding with her. I have tne use of hor
piano ; I take two lessons each week from a
good music teacher, and find time each day to
keep up my drawing. I crave your forgive
ness. You will not forget my struggles to enter
the life for which I felt myself born. I found
nothing bnt disappointment, until in High*.,l
made “ way for liberty," and you meat feel
what the separation cost me, while yon are sorry
for, and doubtless blame, your loving daughter,
Helen.
Thus read the letter that came to the
half-erased Mrs. Woodruff in one month
after their daughter was among the
missing. “Driven from home,” the an
guished mother would have said, had
she not felt that she must comfort, not
accuse, the sorrowing. Never before
had she known the depth of her hus
band’s love for his children. Baffled
and broken as his spirit was now, time
to his nature, he could not forgive ; and,
for all his days of grief, his sleepless
nights of Buttering, he still protested
that his wayward child must be pun
ished, and accordingly he wrote :
Helen : You can justly claim nothing from
the home you so foolishly deserted. If you re
main away it must he in a silence that will not
be broken by your Father.
“ Cruel! cruel !” sobbed Helen, ns
she read and 1 oad the words that
seemed to freeze her heart and shut her
out of the world. Her childhood had
known nothing but the yellow leaf, but
the sadness of autumn had not rendered
her cold or misanthropic. The opening
bud of love, watered bv the dew of
faith, was trembling to blossom in her
pure youug heart. She sought strength
and consolation in prayer for the loved
ones she had deserted. A sad, sweet
picture she made as she sat in that capa
cious old arm chair by the little parlor
window, in the cozy home of the school
mistress. She was simply and neatly
clad in an evening dress of pink muslin,
with a white bow of lace at her throat;
one ring, a plain gold band, that encir
cled the forefinger of her left hand, was
all the jewelry she wore. It was a gift
from her mother’s father, who prayed,
as he placed it upon her finger, that if
she inherited any of her mother’s talent
she would also inherit, in an equal de
gree, her father’s will power. Her glos
hy brown curls were fastened carelessly
back with a spray of white lilac. It was
sunset, but the lingering beams of light
that kissed her fair young face revealed
the hitter tears slie could not keep back
as she unfolded again and read aloud
her father’s icy words. The wound was
opened afresh, and in her agony she
cried:
“ Oh, my dear mother, why did you
not say just one little word to me ? It
would have been kind, and kept my
heart from breaking. But, oh ! I know
my father would not permit you, sweet,
patient mother, dear little sister and
brother, and with all your faults my
dear, dear father, how can I live without
yon ! What, oh what shall I do?”
No audible answer came to the strick
en young heart, but rest and love and
home awaited her, for Mark Maynard
had seen, heard and recognized his own,
and had silently withdrawn from the
room he had entered unseen, and said to
himself as lie walked away :
“Dear Helen, thou art the fresh,
sweet spring in the desert of my lone
life. I can scarcely believe in special
providences, but surely God’s own hand
has led her to the heart that has ever
loved her, and when the wave of sorrow
that is now’ sweeping over her goes by a
lover shall claim his own.”
Brief and to the point was the court
ship that ended in the union of two con
genial spirits, and Helen Wixslruff was
duly installed mistress of the superin
tendent’s home that the town people
had named “Batchelor's Button,” lie
cause of its round, smooth-ent appear
ance. The modest little building lay in
the center of an eight-acre lot just out
of the corporation of the city ; it was
surrounded by the choicest fruits and
flowers. Four rooms had answered
Mark Maynard’s purpose, a front and
“ DUM SPIRO, SPERO."
HAMILTON,GA-. SEPTEMBER Hi. 1880.
back room above amt below, with bay
window below and above 4km looked to
the east, south and west. The south
room below was largo, light and airy,
and handsomely furnished, and answered
the purpose of sitting-room and purler.
The room above it was Mark’s study,
filled with all that a student’s heart
could desire ; back of this was his bed
room, beneath which was kitchen, din
ing-room, pantry and hall combined,
furnished with overcoats, shoes, over
shoes, hats and caps in the wildest pro
fusion. But it was the first place that
Murk hud ever found a leal home. His
boyhood had been homeless in all
save the name; he was left an
or plum at the age et - years,
and was adopted by hi- a. i. well-Ar*-
do farmer, who had nv> nought
than to bring Mark up a first-el ass farm
hand- but tho fates had determined oth
erwise. His uncle had allowed him
three months a year in school, but Mark
resolved to have more time for study
than three months yearly afforded liim.
Long and wearily he tried to get rainy
days and odd times for liis own, but his
Undo Huston was a model farmer, and
there was always a hoe to scour, or some
repairs to make that could bo done un
der shelter, so the time went by till, one
bright May morning, there was a vacant
chair at tho Huston table. The family
had not been awakened as usual by tho
old boll that Mark had rung so early
and so promptly for so many years, and
long after the sun had peeped into his
empty room did Mr. Iluston enter it in
a rage, with a rebuke and a lecture on
early rising be was swelling to deliver
to tiie offending Mark. “ Why, Murk 1
Mark ! ” he began, but ended by taking
from a bare table and reading the fol
lowing explanatory note:
Dkar Uncle : I cannot beg. I oan claim
nothing that is mine till I am of age. Yon
know the one desire of mv heart is an educa
tion. To rid you of daily disappointment and
vexation, and io keep my own life from starv
ing, I leave vour home and care, confidently
believing “ the Lord is mv shepherd, I shall
not want.” That lie will bless you and yourH
here and hereafter, is the prayer of
Mark Maynard.
CHAPTER 111.
Poor Mr. Huston went hack to the
broakfast table with a breaking heart,
for he really loved all of the boy that
his narrow life could understand. “I
am afraid,” said he, “ that Mark is only
anew edition of his father; and he frit
tered all his time away and fretted him
self into the grave over his hooks;
and my poor dear sister seemed to
think it was all right, too, for hor
last words to mo were: ‘Do give
my son a good education; ’ and by
way of silencing an uneasy conscience
continued, “I am sure there was noth
ing in the way of the boy’s education
had he remained here and trted todearn."
Search after search was made for many
and many a day all over the country,
bit all in vain ; no clew could be gotten
of the runaway. Buried in the desert of
a great city, Mark Maynard entered the
homo as errand boy of one of the best
educators in the land, and eventually be
came bis pupil. There he remained for
six years, ut which time, through the in
fluence of his teacher, ho was mode
principal of the High School of L ,
For five years he labored there with all
the zeal of an earnest teacher, and was
then made superintendent, at which time
Helen Woodruff glided quietly into the
school and filled her place with becom
ing dignity, and as quiotly in a short
tiro } afterward was made the wife of him
wh had been marked out by his friends
for an old bachelor.
The marriage created no little excite
ment in the gossipy circles of the city,
but a calm followed Mark’s innocent
confession that Helen was his “firstand
only love," which thread led to the un
raveling of both their lives.. Busy-bod
ies were satisfied when the heard that
Mark Maynard, at the age 14, hail kissed
Helen, a child of 8 years, his only play
mate in his uncle’s neighltorhood, just
the evening he ran away, that he hail
not forgotten her, that he hail intended
to go back and claim her, who, by a
strange coincidence, iiad come to him.
All the city bade them good-by regret
fully, after two years of happy life spent
in their midst. They sold “Bachelor’s
Button,” and took their departure for
the old Houston home, now all their
own, and so near the one still dear to
Helen in spite of all the bitter memories
that clustered around it. wus a
charity, a work of reformation that wus
to begin at home.
Tne Hustons had settled down to
easy, quiet life in a neighboring village
and whispered not the secret intrusted
to their keeping, that the Maynards,
who hail taken possession of their old
place, were no others than the two run
aways, Mark Huston, as he was called
in his boyhood, and Helen Woodruff.
From cellar to garret life ran
through the old home ; large old rooms
that hail been dark and dusty for years
were filled with sunlight and fresh air
and flowers ; happy birds sang in bright
colored cages that hung from vine
tangled windows; where all had been
silence before, music gushed forth in
sweet, entrancing tones. The Maynard
place became the admiration, if not the
envy, of the whole neighborhood. More
than a year had gone by, and what of
the new neighliors ? There had been
enough gossip about them and their new
way of country living, but nothing was
positively known of them save that
Mark Maynard had once been Mark
Huston, that he hail run away from his
uncle, educated himself, made money
enough to buy his uncle’s interest in the
farm, that he had married a lady, and
was living in elegant style. None of
the country people, except Mrs. Carroll,
had ventured to call on the “high-fly
ers,” as they had been termed by
tfiose from whose inner lives the ideal
had been crushed and <lriv*n out by the
rude hand of the real. None, shall I
say? Mary and Ned Woodruff, that
very evening tliey had started so gloomy
of soul after the cows, had wandered ori
beyond the limits of their own meadow
into an adjoining wood of the Maynard
farm, wandered, talking busily of their
trials, hopes and fears, when they came
upon a vision that was light indeed to
their weary young lives. There, on a
large, mossy stone, sat sister Helen.
Mary sprung toward her with a cry of
joy ; Ned stopped suddenly, turned pale,
and stood as motionless as a statue.
Helen Maynard was not long in securing
the entire confidence of her sister and
brother, and they were ready to obey
any command, or to act upon any sug
gestion from her. She understood the
part she mustpluy to accomplish her work,
and struck the notes accordingly. Their
father must not know anything of their
designs until they were all executed ;
and right well was their seorot kept.
Ned was hired to saw wood once or twico
a week at the Maynards’. Mary was em
ployed at BO cents a week to toko charge
of baby Maynard on washing and iron
ing days. The ruse worked liko a charm,
and Master Nod was furnished with
the best l looks and liecamo quite
an elocutionist. Mary learned the prin
ciples of music, and, under thy kind and
careful teaching of Helen, shefiould play
several pieces in a very creditable man
ner, was conversant with a few good
hooks, and had acquired a little knowl
edge of all kinds of reform literature.
Many times in the dead still of night
mother and daughter hail mot on the sly,
working and praying together for the
resurrection of the soul they both loved
—the soul thut lay buried under the
hard-beaten seal of custom. To bo brief,
a year hod rolled by and everything was
working together for good. Ned had
committed and paraphrased several of
the psalms, by which ho hod secured
his father’s attention, if not his heart
felt but unexpressed praise.
Tho journey had boon made, the feaat
was spread, tho victors wero waiting to
be crowned. Nor had tliey long to wait;
tho hour in its fullness was at hand, and
never was a homo filled with truer,
deeper joy than tho Maynard home,
that beautiful day, when tho Hustons,
Carrolls, Woodruffs, and a host of neigh
bors and friends met to banquet and
rejoice in the reunion and reconcilia
tion of father and daughter, uncle and
nephew.
The seed has been sown broadcast,
and year after year the golden harvest
ripened Silent strugglo and suffering
broke down the cold, hard crust from
the life of Mr. Woodruff. Tho Bpirit of
Christ’s tender words, “ Except ye be
como as little children, ye shall not en
ter tho kingdom of heaven,” fell for the
first time into his heart liko a balm. A
new life opened within him ; a now earth
stretched itself before liim, and a now
heaven bent abovo him.
The wildornoss of the Woodruff place
blossomed as a rose, and celebrated as
artist, author and elocutionist became
the names of Helen, Mary, and Ned
Look lontf enough
On any peasant’ll face hero, ooarne and lined.
You’ll catch Antinoue nomewbere In that day.
Then iieralat.
And If your apprehension's competent
You’ll liudaoiuo fairer angel at hln book
Ah much exceed!ug him an he the boor.
Muncie City, Ind.
A Mustier Mashed.
One of the many handsome young la
dies residing in the aristocratic portion
of the ancient suburb of Bellville packed
up a small “grip-sack” one morning re
cently, and departed for a visit with a
friend at one of the many picturesque
stations that abound on tlio Cincinnati,
Hamilton anil Dayton railroad. Finding,
upon her arrival at Cincinnati, that she
bail several hours in which to make the
train, and as she also wished to purchase
several of “those things” so essential to
the completion of a young lady’s ward
robe, she concluded to nmko her pur
chases and pass a portion of hor surplus
time in walking to the depot. She made
her purchases and was leisurely strolling
along Fifth street, admiring the latest
summer styles, when hor meditations
were brought to an abrupt termination
by a dapper, dandified little fellow, who
was rigged up in one of the very latest
style summer suits. His cranium was
covered with a hat constructed upon the
second-story jilan, a pair of eye-glasses
straddled the bridge of his Roman nose,
and a sweet, killing smile apropriatoly
adorned bis countenance. Stepping up,
lie politely lifted his hat and accosted
her thus: “ Excuse-ah’-mo, Miss, may
I-ah’m-liave the ali’-m-pleasure of carry
ing vour portmanteau ?’ The young lady
looked id him, hesitated a moment as if
meditating whether it would bo safe to
trust him, and with a “certainly, sir,
certainly,” handl'd him the “grip-sack,”
which the handsome Lothario took, at
t lie same time tipping u wink to a couple
of friends who were loafing on the comer.
The couple started toward the depot,
and as they meandered along the young
man tried lo strike up a conversation with
the young lady; but she evidently wasn’t
Jii a very talkative mood, as she could not
be induced to speak only in answer to
direct quest, ms, and those she answered
in monosyllables. Arrivingatthe depot,
the young lady, to the consternation of
the young masher and the amusement of
his friends, wiio hod followed them just
to watch developments, pulled out her
pocket-book, and handing him a dime,
said, in a voice loud enough for the by
lamlers to hear: “ I’m reallysorry, but
it’s all the change I have; I’m very much
obliged to you for your kindness. I as
sure yon it is appreciated, and should j
ever meet you again 1 will give you fifteen
cents as it is certainly worth a quarter.”
—Cincinnati Paper.
Memory.
Memory is riot peculiar to intelligent
people. On the contrary, the inferior
race of mankind, such as negroes, the
Chinese, etc., have more memory than
those of a higher type of civilization.
Primitive races, which were unacquainted
with the art of writing, had a wonderful
memory, and were for ages in the habit
of handing down, from one generation
to another, hyrnns as voluminous as the
Bible. Prompters and professors of
declamation, know that women have
more memory than men. French
women will learn a foreign language
quicker than their husbamls. Youths
have more memory than adults. It is
well developed in children, attains its
maximum atenit the fourteenth or fif
teenth year, and then decreases. Feeble
individuals of a lympliatio temperament
have more memory than the strong.
Students who obtain the prize for memo
ry and recitation chiefly belong to the
former class. Most people remember
better in the morning, when the miuil
is soothed by a night of rest, than in
the evening.
Many people who hunt for happiness.
are continually finding fault.
J. L. DENNIS, Editor.
SI.OO a Year.
Rata.
Rats are a great pest in every city and
town, and, indeed, everywhere in this
country. It seems nearly impassible to
get rid of them, and any method that
promises to secure this most desirable
end is worth trying. Somebody recom
mends covering stones, rafters, and
every part of a cellar with ordinary
whitewash, made yellow with-copperas,
putting copperas in every crevice or
cranny where a rat may get, and scatter
ing it, in the corners on the floor. Ho
has tried it repeatedly, and the result
has lieen a general retreat of both mioo
and rats, not, one of which had at last
accounts returned. It is said that a coat
of this yellow wash, given each spring to
a cellar, will net only banish those ver
min, but will prevent I fever, dysentery,
or typhoid fever. Everything eatable
should lie carefully Beourod against, the
ravages of rats, wliioli are so intelligent
that they will soon abandon places where
they can get next to nothing to eat. The
rat wo are most troubled with is tho
brown rat, much larger, stronger, floroer,
and more ravenous than tho black rat,
which has almost entirely disappeared,
having been driven off or exterminated
by tho more formidable species. The
brown rat is frequently called the Nor
way rat, from the erroneous impression
that it came from Norway, which coun
try it did not reach until it hud become
abundant in Britain and America. 11 ap
is aired first, at, Astrakhan, iu tho begin
ning of tho eighteenth century, and
gradually spread over Western Europe,
whence we have derived it. It was once
known ns the Hanoverian rat, because
the British Jacobites were pleased to be
lieve that it came in with the House of
Hanover.
Britilliuigli’s Advancement.
The New York Times' London letter
lms the following:
“If the friends and foes of Mr. Brad
laugh, the member for Northampton,
had entered into an alliance to advance
his personal interests and make him tho
most famous or notorious of Great
Britain, they could not have done more
than they have done. They have
played his game all the time. It is
difficult to say who lias been his greatest
friend Mr. Gladstone, the Primier, or
Sir Stafford Northcote, the loader of her
Majesty's opposition.
“ Mr. Brudluugh is proprietor and ed
itor of a newspaper called tho National
jteformcr. ‘.We novor at any time pre
viously to tho present excitement,’ ho
said to a friend of mine, ‘sold more than
twelve thousand copies a week, but our
circulation lias now gone up to two hun
dred thousand.’ This being tho case,
Mr. Brudlaugh, from a position of com
parative impeouniosity, rises to one of
aflluonco, and a mere political outsider
the other day, ho is now one of the fore
tnost men m England. Determined to
still further advance his cause, uae Hen
ry Lewis Clarke has issued a writ against
him for $2,500, the penalty proscribed by
act of Parliament for sitting and voting
in the House of Commons without hav
ing subscribed to tho oath of allegiance,
in accordance with tho 2(itli and 80th
Victoria, chapter 10. Every time Brnd
laitgh votes, Clarke says he will sue for
the penalty.”
Farming Under the Sea.
The fact is not generally known that
within three hours’ rido of Boston a
large and profitable business lias been
carried on since 1818 along the seashore,
anil is nothing more or less than “farm
ing under the noa.” Everywhere upon
the coasts of eastern New England may
be found, ten feet below the water mark,
the lichen known as carrageen—the
“Irish moss” of commerce. It may lie
tom from the sunken rocks anywhere,
anil yet the little seaport of ficituato is
almost the only plane in the country
whore it is' gathered and cured. This
village is the groat center of the moss
business in the country, and the entire
Union draws its supplies from these
beaches. Long rakes are used in tilling
this marine farm, anil it does not take
long to fill the many dories that await
the lichen, torn from its salty, rock bed.
The husbands and fathers gather the
moss from the sea, and the wives and
daughters prepare it for the market. Soak
it in water, and it will melt away to a
jelly. Boil it in milk, and a delicious
white and creamy blancmange is the re
sult. The annual product is from ton to
fifteen thousand barrels, and it brings
$50,000 ' into the town, which sum is
shared by one hundred and fifty families.
Its consumption in the manufacture of
lager beer is very large, and the entire
beer of the country draws its supplies
from Soituato benches, as the importa
tion from Ireland has almost ceased. It
is not generally known that the moss, as
an article of food, is called “ sea-moss
farina. ”
Apple Boueii.—According to a writer
on horticultural and agricultural sub
jects, when borers have once gained
possession of a tree the only way to get
rid of them is to bunt for them care
fully with a knife or wire and destroy
them. The eggM of the parent beetle
are deposited during nights in June, and
are placed in the bark of the tree at the
surface of the ground, or whatevor may
Burround the tree. The®© egga hatch m
our latitude during (September, and it is
soon after this that the young grubs may
Ik? easily roniovwl without the ua© of
anything morn than the point of a pen
knife. A few minutes spent in this way
about the Ist of October each fall will
keep the tree free from this pest. — iScie/i
--liflc American.
To wash lawn or thin muslin : Boil
two quarto of wheat brail ill six quarts
or more of water half au hour. Strain
through a coarse towel and mix in the
water in which the muslin is to be
washed. Use no soap, if you can help
it, and no starch. Rinse lightly in fair
water. This preparation both cleanses
and stiffens the laws. If you can, con
veniently, take out all the gathers. The
skirt should always bo ripped from the
waist.
The whole number of men, from time
to time, called into the national service
during the war of the Rebellion was
‘2,(188,523. As many of those were
mustered in twice, while hundreds of
thousands deserted who were never
under fire, it is probable that not more
than 1,500,000 effectively participated
in suppressing the Rebellion.
THIS AND THAT.
A good oonveytnoer is known by his
deeds.
Light travels at tho rate of 192,000
miles jmt second.
Iron tiles are mode by hand while ths
iron is soft, uud thou annealed.
When a man draws an inference he
should draw it mild.
The mark of cane—Dust on the un
ruly Schoolboy's jacket.
It is believed that the word “ never"
has been crippled for life.
WiiAn a man's curiosity is piqued, he
asks sharp questions.
Many of tho now summer books in
press will bo bound in muslin.
An artist is not so strong as a horse,
but ho can draw a larger object.
Ought a woman to kiss a tobaoco
oliower ? Yes, if she chows.
Saratoga hotels will all charge a little
more than they did last year.
Hen a kino of reptiles, is “Landlord,
Fill the Flowing Bowl” a treat ode ?
A correspondent reminds us that
“ ‘There is n medium in all things’—
i 'spoolidly s]lirituol ism. ”.
The piono first made its appearance
as a musical instrument aliout the mid
dle of the eighteenth century.
Why have chickens no hereafter ?
Because they have their necks twirled
(next world) in this.
Why iH it easy to enter ar. old man’s
lintlitation ? Beoomse his (fait is brokisi
and his locks are few.
Having asked his girl for a kiss as a
tonic, she replied that there was such a
thing as being too tonic.
“ You’re a man after my own heart,”
us the blusliiug maiden confessed wheu
her lover proposed marriage.
The trouble with too many in this
world is that they want reserved seats
everywhere except in the family circle.
Why is the strap of an omnibus like a
man's conscience ? Because it is an in
ward check on the outward man.
" A KIKH," Mill ChrUw, “In * noun, we allow;
But toll me, dear. In It proper or common 7”
Lovely Mary bloahed deep, and exclaimed, “ Wby, I
vow,
I thtak that a kiaa ta both proper and oommon.”
What’s the liest definition of a quill ?
Something taken from the pinions of
one goose to spread fhe ’pinions of an
other.
Why is the money you are in the
habit of giving to tho poor liko a new
ly-liorn babe? Because it’s precious
little.
Hymen is always represented os bear
ing a torch. This symbolized the tortu
ous ways of true love that never did run
smooth.
“Sim never told her love”—because
tho young man, anticipating something
of the kind, hasn’t called to see her since
leap year opened.
When a fond parent secs aboywjdk
through a gateway, instead of climbing
the fence, lie iH worried for fear the lad
isn’t quite himself.
Artkwuh Ward once began a lecture
by saying : “ Ladies and gentlemen, I
possess a gigantic intellect, Imt I haven’t
it with me.”
A lazy boy was complaining that his
bod was too short, when his father stern
ly replied. “ 'Flint is because you are al
ways too long in it, sir.”
The proprietor of a Louisville bone
factory announces that persons leaving
their bones with him can have them
ground at abort, notice.
NoTHriU* will please a girl so much as
the information that a rival, who is try
ing to rob her of hor best fellow, has
got a pimple coming on her nose.
A New Jersey colored man, whose
wife hail left, said: “She would eome
buck if I frowed ber some sugar, but
I ain’t frowing no sugar, do you heah?”
Ip an unemployed man can find noth
ing else to do, lie ran always find a situ
ation as head waiter by going into a
crowded barber shop to get bis hair cut,
A country editor being asked, “Do
hogs pay ?” says a great many do not.
They take the paper several years, and
then have the Postmaster send it buck,
“ Refused.”
Don’t despise a woman because she
can’t drive nails or hang pictures ; if you
want to discover your own weak points,
just carry a (5x4 mattress down a narrow,
winding stairs.
A strolling theatrical company was
at tlie dinner-table A waiter ap
proached one of the members, and saia :
Houp?” “ No, sir,” replied the guest,
“I am one of the musicians?”
An unsuccessful vocalist went to the
poor-house anil delighted the inmates
with his singing. He said it was a nat
ural thing for linn to do, ns he hail l>een
singing to poor houses ever since he be
gan his career.
Fight Halves.
A girl composed of eight halves is s
mathematical anomaly, a scientific mon
strosity, And yet we heard ono recent
ly. within half an hour, declare she was
Imlf dead with heat, had laughed herself
half to 'leuth at somebody’s mishap or
blunder, was half crazy to know some
thing about something else, was half
tinkled to death at some funny remark
of an ape of a beau, was half mad at an
escort’s presumption , and was half killed
by a Imirpin scratching her neck, while
all of h< ir—two halves more—was sti]
alive, well, and absurd. Girls, drop all
these hyperbolical norisensiealities that
disfigure your daily walk and conversa
tion, and he as sensible as you are pret
ty and lovable. —l Mad wood Pioneer.
A Hard Business.
It is estimated that to properly care for
the sewers of Paris it requires one man
for each kilometre, but this average has
not been maintained from motives of
economy. Still, there are employed in
this work 627 men, divided into little
companies, which arc sent to various sec
tions of the city, according to the needs
of the sewer service. Almost all these
men are natives of the Midi, and come
from Gascogne. Theirsis ahardbusiness,
and though some few egoutiers, as they
are called, may liecome old, it is rarely
the ease that one can safely do such
work longer than fifteen years. They
then become victims of the “plomb,” a
word used to express “asphyxia.”
The Oroe.er thinks that if the dairy
interest continues to increase as it has
been doing heretofore, in a few years
hence no other country need make but
ter and cheese, as this country will be
able to supply the requirements of the
world at a lower rate and of a better
quality than they can make it them
selves.
“Mv sou,” said an illicit distiller*
“ remember that it is the early bird that
catches the worm.” “Perhaps so,
father,” replied the slothful young man
—“perhaps so, in some localities, but
around here it strikes me that it is the
early revenue officer who catches the
worm. ”