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BY RICHARD W- GRUBB
DARIEN, GEORGIA,
SITI’KBAY MOKMNCi, MUlfilli IST!.
ALL SORTS-
Two beads are better than one—es
pecially in a barrel.
A Chicago minister is affectionate]y
advertised as being “out of a job.”
The editor of a New Berlin paper
wants to trade his Midland railroad
stock for an old setting hen.
Tho Ohio Legislature has intro
duced a bill fixing a fine of from five
to fifty dollars for pointing any kind
of firearm at a person, loaded or un
loaded.
Inscription on t Tonne sec tomb
stone: “Escaped the bullet of the
enemy to be assassinated by a coward
ly pup—a kind husband, an affection
ate father.”
Sixteen years Tom Kcayon went to
Kansas City and the other day lie
signed a check for sixteen thousand
dollars. Ho sigued with another
man’s name, however,
Tho Chicago Tribune prints a poem
in which the writer wishes that she
bad “a heart full of sweet yearlings.”
How the persecuted author must have
yearned to fumble among that com
positor’s hair.
Twenty-one freshmen were lately
■suspended from an English collcgo
because a professor couldn’t find out
who placed a ten-ounce tack in his
chair. He, however, knew all about
who sat down on it.
A little boy, carrying home some
eggs from tho grocery, dropped thorn.
“Did you break any V” asked his
mother, when he told her of it. “No,”
said the little fellow, “but the shells
came off some of ’em.”
Victor Hugo is deeply in love with
the United States, and one minute
out of every 1 our, when he is awake,
is devoted to talking about this coun
try, the other fifty-nine minutes being
devoted to talk about himself.
The ruling passion strong in dan
ger. An alarm of lire was, the other
day, given in a New York hotel.
“Landlord,” said a guest, “is the ho-I
tel on fire?” “Yes, sir.” “Well given
us one more drink, if you please, and
we’ll get.”
The average Burlington, lowa, sa-
Joon keeper must be bad indeed. A
■earned divine in that city recently
addresed one of thorn ns follows:
“Wretched man ! If tho bed of that
river was bank high with the suds of
salvation, and a June rise ol piety
coming down from the mountains, ;
there wouldn't be enough to wash
your feet.
Happy is tlie country that has no
history, as the school boy said being
flogged the third time for not knowing
the maiden name of George Washing
ton's wife.
Landlady (fiercely—-“ You rausn't
occup3 T that Hbd with boots on."
Boarder—“ Never mind, they are an
old pair. I guess the bed-bugs can’t
hurt ’em. I'll risk it anyhow.”
A young lady out West, recently said:
“Some men are always talking about
patronizing their own town—and yet
they go abroad to get married, while
here we all stand waiting! Tdo hope
some of those men who marry off
from home will get cheated.
“What, are wages hero?” asked a
laborer of a boy. "I don't know."
“What dues you father get on Satur
day night?” “Get,” said the boy;
“why, he go's as tight as a brick ”
“Pat, do yon understand French ?”
“Yiss, if it's spoke in Irish.”
“Dick, why don't yon turn that buf
falo robe t'other side out? the hair
side is the warmest/' Bah! Tom,
don’t you suppose the auin .1 knew
how to wear his own hide?”
“Sam, why am Senators like de
fishes ?” “I don’t meddle wid de
subjec’ Pomp.” “Why don’t you see,
nigga, becaus dey am so fond of de
bate.”
A New Jersey tobacconist, with
commendable frankness, advertises:
“I shall continue to keep on hand im
ported cigars of my own manufac
ture.”
Troubles are like babies —they grow
bigger by nursing. Don't meet trou
bles half way, for they‘are not worth
the compliment.
Dialogue from Fun: Fair damsel
putting on new gloves—“ Too tight ?
“Oh, no, auntie; not at all; besides, I
like them a leetle tight!” Trouble
some Brother—“ Feels as if somebody
was squeezing her hand; don’t $e see
auntie!”
A wag declares he saw a cowhide in
a shop.
"What State is round on both ends
and high in the middle? OLio.
A farmer reading a journal to his
wife in which was the sentence: “The
President was received with three
huzzas,” pronounced the last word
hussies.” “More shame for him,” ex
claimed the indignant and scandalized
lady.
Atwoods & Avery,
BROAD STREET,
DARIEN, GA.,
0
RETAIL DEALERS IN
DRY GDDDS,
GROCERIES, DRUGS & MEDICINES,
BOOTS, SHOES, HARDWARE SiC.
KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND
A LARGE AND WELL SELECTED STOCK
of everything in their line of business.
PROMPT ATTENTION PAID TO ORDERS.
. Masters of vesels would do well to give them a call,
They invite the attention of the public to their new
Spring Stock,
A fine assortment of
STRAW GOODS ID HATS,
all of the latest styles.
Press Goods, Prints, Cloths,
4 Casimers and everything pertaining
to the Dry Goods trade can be found
in their store.
They also keep on hand a iirst-class stock of
Harness. Harness trimmings, Saddles, Carriage
trimmings, Ac. Their stock of Crockery, Stone.
China, and Glass wares are of the best qua! tic
THE
DARIEN
TIMBER GAZETTE,
PUBLISHED EVERY
SATURDAY MORNING
AT
Darien,
GEORGIA,
BY
RICH AM) W. GRUBB.
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE
O!sLY
$2 50
FEE AHNBM.
ADVERTISING RATES LIB
ERAL.
FOUNDRY 11 MACHINE WORKS,
Brunswick, Ga.
%
THE UNDERSIGNED IS PREPARED TO FURNISH, ON
! SHORT NOTICE AND AT REASONABLE PRICES,
SAW MILLS,
SAW MILL CARRIAGES
(BEST MADE,)
ENGINES,
SEAS MILLS AID PASS,
AXI> ALL KINDS OF
IS A € art N E; a Y
AND OTHER
CASTINGS, EITHER IN BRASS 6R IRON.
HAYING competent mechanics in the machinery, foundry
and blacksmith departments, i confidently promise satisfaction in
workmanship and promptness.
As these works are more convenient to the mill men, rice
planters, an3 shipping, around Darien, I respectfully solicit pat
ronage from all who wish work done.
TERMS CASH- On delivery of work.
Yerv Respectfullv,
T.'F. SMITH.
j April 25—tf.
JOB PRINTING, ~~
HAVING POWER PRESSES, NEW TYPE AND Fix
tures, large stock of ruled and flat papers, card stock, Ac., on
hand, and first-class workmen,
THE APPEAL PRINTING OFFICE,
BRr N S WICK, GEORG IA,
Is prepared to promptly execute all classes of Job Printing,
on short notice and at prices that will compare with the lowest,
—workmanship and material considered.
ORDERS SOLICITED FOR
PAMPHLETS,
BILL AND LETTER HEADS,
MONTHL Y STATEMENTS,
| HAND-BILLS AND PROGRAMMES,
BUSINESS AND VISITING CARDS,
BLANKS, OF ALL KINDS,
And all other classes and kinds of Job Printing, in plain black,
i or as many colors in ink or bronze as desired.
The Appeal office being splendidly furnished with new type
and fixtures, there is no establishment in this section better pre
pared to do all classes of Job Printing, on short notice and at
reasonable prices.
TERMS CASH, on delivery of work.
ORDERS SENT DIRECT will receive the same attention as
! if attended to in person.
April if>—
