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From Pomerov’s Democrat.
WAS JOB A fraud:
Job wasn't much of a fellow, after
all, in my opinion. He acquired a
choap reputation for meekness and
patience, by cultivating a crop or two
nf tolerably sensitive boils; and I sup
pose there isn’t much doubt that Job
lid have a considerable yield of sore
places; but I can’t see many cartloads
of virtue in being patient and quiet,
when the exertion necessary to let fly
a respectable streak of profanity would
have piade the boils ache like thunder.
Job did the best he could under the
circumstances, and Til bet he hunted
about to get iuto an easy position with
a ton more of anxiety to l)e comforta
ble than he ever cherished to get his
name into history. Job and Stanley
got more renown out of slim material
than any’oody I ever heard of—except,
perhaps, Postmaster Grant, of Coving
ton, whose fame is erected on the rep
utation of his son. What a tip-top
thing it. is for the old man that his
fame isn’t very ponderous! But the
fact of the matter is, Job’s bolo weren’t
half so contrary, and hard to live with,
as some things which I am compelled
to smile at. while the whole inside of
me is crammed with “cussin.” Job
never had twins. Neither did I, since
I come to think of it, but somebody
had, and I can be found most any
night, altout any time between one
and six o’clock in the morning, in airy
costume, with a twin under each arm,
stirring around with the necessary
velocity to shake the colic out of one
twin, and to shake the slowest tooth
that ever undertook to grow out of the
other twin. Talk about “biles!” I’d
rather have a peck of carbuncles judi
ciously distributed all over me Then
Job's wife didn’t have a sewing machine
and he didn’t live under another man’s
wife who also had a sewing machine.
If Job could have listened, patently,
to two sewing machines, that had just
bcecn greased up and seemed to have
an inclination to sew up all creation in
five minutes, without feeling that it
would relieve him, a trifle, to sit down
and “cuss” the inventor for an hour
or two, he was better got up, in point
of disposition, than I’ve ever given him
credit for. But I have to boar all this
with a show of patience that makes me
appear almost like an angel. I can
think “cuss”—and I do some consid
erable—but if I uncorked once the
mother of those twins would feel
called upon to bend up a coal-hop over
my head, and I don’t like to have the
twins see their female parent taking
such violent-exercise. “Biles!” Give
us our “biles,” Job, and you take the
sewing machines. You can have the
twins, too, if you hanker for affliction,
and. if you think you can stand it, I
could )>c induced to throw the mother
NO. 37.
m.n sf.eies—volume u.
NEW SERIES—VOLUME 1.
yotlf “biles” wjth patience. If you
don't want my place, I guess, Colfax
or Alley will give way to you. Neither
of us care much about remaining in
the service of the country now. We
think some of devoting our whole time
to building railroads. If we don’t do
this, I think we shall try to die, pretty
soon. We properly should have made
arrangements to enter upon this enter
prise, a month or two ago, but we
couldn’t makp necessary arrangements
for a respectable funeral. When I
was in New York, however, a few-days
since, my attention was attracted to a
engaged a couple of mourners each for
Alley, Ames afid myself, as I have a
sort of a notion that there ought to lie
some mourners at a Republican's
funeral; and I don’t sec now hut that
we three fellows can die under as favor
able circumstances as we could expect,
loot’s die hoys, and swear that the
Democrats killed us—which I guess
may he is the fact, figuratively speakiii
Dave’Wood.
PROFESSOR
The Boston Journal of Chemistry says:
While Darwin can “ever” the whole
animal kingdom, man included, from
a single low form of life, Agassiz con
siders it necessary to assume separate
creations for the different races of men;
but we cannot see that either has yet
made out his case. Agassiz calls the
Darwinian theory “a mire of assertion.”
What would Darwin-si*, of the fol
lowing, which the Scieni^c Press, of
San Incaneisoo, quote from^ireccnt'lcc
WARS NOW GOlNU ON.
-nave _ ^
peeificdifferences between' the honnl
and nervous systems of the white man
the and negro*. Indeed, their frames
are alike in no particular. There is no.
bone in the negroes hotly wbieli is re-1
lativcly of the same shape, size, artic
ulation, or cliem!c.dly of the same
composition as that of the white man.
The negro's hones contain a far greater
proportion of calcareoas salts than
those of the white man. Even the
negro’s blood is chemically a very dif
ferent fluid from that which courses in
the veins of the white man. The whole
I’d agree to take a dozen of the
liveliest “bills” that Job liatl, and give
ltonds to treat them kindly, if he would
take my place at the head of a family
of one wife and eleven children, and
live, as I do, in the same house with
a newly married couple, who haven’t
anything to do but love each other to
death, and wonder whre in thunder
all my children came from. Married
folks generally, have more felicity on
hand, to l>cgiu with, than they can use
to good advantage, but a good deal of
it gets pretty well worn out after a
while, and' eight or ten pairs of -twins
don’t often leave much more than can
lie handled without getting into a very
wet perspiration. But it’s more or
less nggrivating to a veteran to witness
the turtle-doving of two beginners, who
have to carrv a piece of ice ahout them
to keen their hearts from “combust
ing.” I toll you I’d rather have “biles”
than to be thus reminded of the time
when I’d have lwt a cow that Tnhitha
was nn angle, whose wings hadn’t
sprouted, Til bet a cow row, that she’s
no such thing ; and I’ll bet another
cow that I should win the first one, if
any stranger should holed by Tabitha’s
first appearance to take the bet.
Then again, Job was not a Repub
lican nnd caught stealing from the peo
ple. Job had “biles”—no one dis
puling it—but lie didn’t have any
Credit “Af»-“biters" to pain him, as I
have, and as my friends, Colfax and
Alley, have. I can’t speak for these
t wo fellows—I don’t exactly know how
they do feel; but as for myself, I might
just as well say here ns anywhere, that
I l>ore up under-the stealing first-rate,
hut getting found out is what gives me
the backache. Colfax and Alley have
some outward signs of being unwell
that I have, hut I don’t knowhow they
feel at the pit of the stomach. .-I had
the advantage of Job, somewhat, while
1 was serving my counter by getting up
a Pacific Railroad, uniting in close
communion the “rocky coast of the
Atlantic with the golden shores of the
Pacific.” That ojieration did not pain
•»c a hit, you l>ct; and if Colfax nnd
Alley i»ndu’t took ft into' their' heads
” vi >it the Trcasuttry Department,
iV. cri » Ur tmited .patriotism was too
n ay for the floors, which broke down
■ ;> et the r<op ,j money run out, wo
don » S V s SR ^ht 'to-day. It
i>eonlc "I l ° Ki of a ®J' use to tell the
ind P M ” Cllt ' tT »on,Ttopublicans
tion to , ^r tative <’ touk the precau-
ouroiviTfo ’ji t,ie 8 Pilt cash with
\z:ziT^ a,,d ,mve car ° fu,iy
know what real
till ° r 'oi 1 Itcpuhlic is ungrate-
. .i' ** centuries before an-
; n „ f °f ,nen make such last-
Rcr.nl * mnts y° n ttoe nation, as we
and ste P wc ’ ve taken,
took «i P art,cul »«y tlios which wc
S sto^T UDtenD S alib ut the Uni-
"ill always rc-
werc- t ,G I**? 10 of wtoat we
dEV-SwW
between the
Republican Government of Shnin and
Don Carlos, the legitimate heir of the
Bourbons to the throne. This war has
continued for some time, with varying
success. At present there seems no
hope of a decided victory by either
army.
II. The war between Cuba and the
mother country. This struggle has
continued -for years. It lias beeu pros
ecuted with vigor on both sides and
ferocity on one. The end is not yet
III. The war between Russia and
Khiva. The telegrams have informed
us lately that Khiva was captured and
the Khan conquered. Our morning
dispatches contradict this rumor.
Russia, though she will doubtless ulti
mately be successful, will have to eam
her conquest of the Khanate of Khiva
by marching over the deserts of the
Khan and fighting his soldiers.
IV. The war between Captain Jack
and his Modocs and the military power
of the United States. This unequal
struggle, unequal more especially ou
the part of the United States, has
continued for months. It lias cost us
a brigadier-general of the array, a nnm-
lier of officers of lower grades, and not
a few non-commissiond officers and
privates, not to mention the great cx-
jx-nses of war in Dragon. Captain
Jack, too, has lost, if the telegrams are
to l>e believed, a number of redskins
ual to more than double the number
of his original force, unfortunately for
us, without diminishing his ardor or
lowering the cfficienty of his corps of
sharpshooters. The Universal Peace
Alliance has not yet, we regret to say,
converted Captain Jack from the ends
of his martial ways. Hine tila; lachry-
»ue.
V. The war between the Dutch and
the Sultan of Atchecn. ^his conflict
will, after the close of the present arm
ed neutrality, break out. liefore many
months with renewed fury.
or VI. Tlie,war between Sir Samuel
1 Baker, and his forces and the slave-deal
ers of the White Nile. Late dispatches
show that the painful rumor of the
death of this hardy explorer and ac
complished wife has no truth in it. Sir
Samuel is therefore now executing his
mission in the very heart of Africa.
To all these wars must be added the
occasional coflicts that occur on tire
hanks nf the Rio Grand between the
Mexicans and the Texans; the chronic
revolutions of Central and, South
America; the difficulties'between the
English in India and the wild tribes nn
their northern frontier — difficulties
finally to be settled only by force
arms; and the internal struggles, lead
ing to occasional bloodshed, in most
countries of the world, not excepting
our own. Peace nmy come, hut it has
not come.
—that is, in his bones, muscles, nerves,
and fibres, the chimpanzee has not
much farther to progress to become a
white man. This fact science inex
orably demonstrates.
Climate has no more to do with
the difference between the white man
and the negro than it has with that
between the negro and the chimpanzee,
or it has between the horse and the
ass, or the eagle and the owl. Each
is a distinct and separate creation. The
negro and the white man were created
as specifically different as.thc owl and
eagle. They were designed to fill
different places in the system of nature.
The negro is no more a negro by acci
dent or misfortune than the owl is the
kind of a bird he is by accident or mis
fortune. The negro is no more the
white man’s brother than the owl is the
sister of the eagle, or the ass the brother
of the horse. How stupendous, and
yet how simple is the doctrine that the
maker of the universe has
created different species of men, just
as He hag the different species of the
tower animals, to fill different places
and offices in the grand machinery of
nature.”
Despite the efforts of the Universal physical organization of the negro Hif- <laufjhter / of S hem and Ham, but of
Peace Alliance, there arc now a num- fers quite asrnucli from the whiteman s | s fi an ,
ber of wars going on. Men have not as it does from that of the chimpanzee
yet even begun to beat their swords
into plowshares and their spears into
pruning-hooks. We could wish that
the Peace Alliance could* have its way,
but unfortunately sec ns yet no sign of
of such occurrence. There are now
going on.
I. An internecine war
Medicines.
me in my lava bed.
A circus an old eravevard mac
West Chester, Pa., sacfthcTother da;
How does a yonbg ladr, who fa en
gaged, find herself?:
taken) of course.
Singularly, none of the papers have
yet said thnt in these days of bustles. { A Wisconsin man was finefl §5 for
every woman if a papers carriers |i fin Htnig off a cat’s ears with a iack-knift.
\ A* Net* ■Hampshire "man has th
eory Clay’s gig fa running yet in
ington, Kentucky.
I has just been discovered that the
Iocs scalped General Canby.
jfeatiiar strap whiefr fr—Jfriyhpd g
j family -throughthree generations.
m*
* An Iowa merchant won’t advertise
in the papers, but paints on the fences,
etc., ‘ ‘Go two Allen’s for yer dri gods.”
A negro, on being examined, was
asked if his matter was a true Christian.
“No, sir, lie is a politician,” was the
reply.
Mr. Watkins went home from a
party with a banana in his pocket, and
is sorry he didn’t think of it before he
sat down.
A Clergyman lately said that the
modern young ladies wore not the
TROTTING EXTRAORDINARY.
Two
Hundred Miles
Hours,
in Forty-five
Burying Of The Law.—A great
ceremony, called “The Burying of the
‘ the S
Law,” lately took place in the Spanish
Synagogue of Jerusalem. It happens
once every eight or ten years, and is
accompanied by the following circum
stances:—There is in the “Talmud
Torah” synagogue a subterranean cave,
wherein every old leaf torn out from
any holy book, every old worn-out
Bible, Gemara and phylactery is de
posited by all the Jewish inhabitants
of every Minting. After eight or ten
years, when the cave is full, these old
papers and books ore brought out and
made up iuto bales. This done, the
people begin to assemble at a given
time in the afternoon. A cosher (or
faultless) Sepher Torah, richly- orna
mented and jewelled, fa brought by
the Chacham Bashi, and carried by
him, #ud the other rabbis in turn, at
the bead of the procession. Ho fa f’ol
towed bv other rabbfa; next come the
hales, abo ut seventy or eighty in num
ber, each carried by a Jew ; and then
the rest of the people. The procession
slowly winds its way out of the front
Zion gate for some distance along the
city liill, and then descends into Ihe
valley of Jehosaphat, where the burial
ground is situated. Here is a very
deep well, wherein the bales are thrown
amidst the singingof the joyous crowd.
On Wednesday and Thursday, the
14th and loth instants, the Driving
Park at St. Paul, Minn., was the scene
of nn extraordinary trot, Mr. Martin
Delaney matching his sorrel mare (a
small full-blooded Morgan) to trot 200
miles in forty-eight hours for the small
stake of $200. The St. Paul Press
says of the first day:
The trot was commenced yesterday
at twenty minuets past four a. m., Mr.
J. Cummings holding the ribbons.
The mare started out at a rate of more
than ten miles an hour for the first
two hours, and was gradually stowed
to about an average 6ften miles an
hour. At five minutes past ten she
had completed the first fifty miles,
making it in some five hours and for
ty-five minutes. She was then given
a rest of three hours and a half, and
was started at a little past half-past
one on the second fifty miles. At
half-past seven she had completed it,
having made the first hundred miles in
fifteen hours, which leaves thirty-three
hours for completion of the other hun
dred. She made tho last mile of her
first hundred yesterday, the fastest of
any—five and one-half minutes. Those
who witnessed the feat say that the
mare showed no sign of fatigue, never
sweat a hair, and trotted off to the sta
ble to feed at the end of her day’s laltor
as brisk as though she had just come
from the barn.
Of the second the same paper says:
Wednesday the first 100 miles was
completed, and at half-past seven
o’clock the mare was driven to the stable
apparently in as good condition as if
she had only travelled one quarter of
the distance. .Yesterday morning when
taken out of the barn at five o’clock
to complete the trot she seemed a little
sore at first, hut soon wanned up and
commenced her days’s work with won
derful case. At ten o’clock she had
completed thirty-one miles, aud was
withdrawn until four minutes past
twelve p. m. After this rest, in which
she manifested no signs of weariness,
she made her next seven miles in one
hour and two minutes. Nopains were
taken to keep a regular account of her
rate of speed, but in general terms it
averaged through the day about six
minutes and five and one-half seconds
per mile for the first fifty miles, and
seven minutes nnd two and one-half
seconds for the second fifty miles. Af
ter the rest given the marc—from sev
en until nine o’clock in the evening—all
partieson the ground saw that she would
make her 200 miles easily. She pur
sued her even gait, and a few minutes
past one o’clock this morning completed
the race, making her last mile
nine minutes and thirty-one
seconds. Thus she won the wager, and
in three hours less than the time given
her. She trotted off the track seeming
ly unconscious of the marvel she had
performed.
“Does hanging prevent murder?”
asks an exchange. Few men feel like
murdering anybody after they have
been well hanged.
According to Florida papers, fleas
have multiplied there to such an ex
tent that all the inhabitants arc suffer
ing from phlebitis.
A young man ata party one evening
being asked if he could play the harp
sichord, wanted to know if it was any
tiling like seven-up.
A New Orleans man says the longest
funeral ho ever heard of took place a
weed ago. His hired girl went to it
and hasn’t got back yet.
The funeral of Oakes Ames at Bos
ton was as imposing as it would have
beck if his name had never lienn con
nected with the Credit Mobilier.
An old lady hearing some men speak
ing of the immense quantity of lumber
being sent to Culia and London from
America, says does the “Cars take
it?”
Philosopher Johsh Billings says: A
man that starts out on the day of his
marriage, as a first lieutenant in his
family need never expect to be pro
moted.
It is unlawful to give atoll
cr a chew of tobacco. Tuff
law forbid any one to “sell or dispose
of tobacco in any form without paying
a license.”
legro militia are being enlisted
fatly but rqpidly” in South Caroli-
A city paper tells us that a favorite
hotel is to be kept this season at one yf
the watering-places, “by the widow of
Mr. , who died last summer on a
new and improved plan.”
Why does’t the government organize
half a dozen bald-head brigades and
hurl them like a bolt of sixfold thunder
upon the Modocs? Nobody else’shair
seems to be safe in the business.
. *“!•. I™ 1 ’ ywan
^.erwwjsiSS:
Wc oou
hav
Fancy Prices for Fancy Ani
mals.—At a sale of thorough bred cat
tle which took place in Wauncgan, El.,
April 9th, eighty-four head were sold
for $45,530, in the aggregate, being an
average of about $536. . The highest
prices paid were for two imported cows
and one bull, the three animals costing
the purchaser the neat little sum of
$5,000.
An Auburn woman fell dead while
threshing her boy for going to the cir
cus. It will take but a tow more such
cases to convince mothersof theirerror
in supposing boys can’t go whera they
please.
An old lady in a town of Worcester
county lately refused the gift if a load
of wood from a tree struck by light
ning, through fear that some of the
“fluid” might remain in the wood,
and cahse disaster to her kitchen,
stove.
“How shall we settle the labor ques
tion?” exclaimed a member of tfae
Georgia Legislature, in the midst of
his speech. “By all going to Work
and earning your living honestly!”
thundered an irreverent spectator iu
the gallery.
“Men arc what women make
them,” is the Singular title of a new
hook. It may be true, hut Wc lipve
seen some dreadfully poor specimens of
the manufactured article, which fact
reflects badly either upon the material
or the maker.
A Wisconsin school teacher, when
a pupil is disobedient, idle, or refrac
tory, administers to the delinquent a
dose of castor oil. He says such
treatment ought to render the scholars
dose ’ile.” He evidently needs a
quart or so himself.
When a woman goes to purchase a
bonnet she will not take oue slie does
not like. Yet in the far more impor
tant matter of a husband she frequent
ly takes one slie cares nothing about,
and for whom she has neither respect,
love nor admiration.
Judged by the rule that he is a suc
cessful agriculturist who knows how
to make “two blades grow where one
grew before,” the negroes are the finest
farmers in the world; for nnder their
skillful culture it fa.no uncommon
thing to see a dozen blades Cofgmss)
grow where one grew before.—Manon
Vommonvxalth.
Cerebro-spinnl meningitis and horse
stealing caused respectively a nearly
equal numlicr of deaths in Kansas last
month. / '
A lady died in Freeport, R. I., in a
dentist’s chair, under the influence of
chloroform.
The Rhode Island Medical .Society
has determined to admit women to full
membership.
A Pennsylvania women challenges
any man in her county to a wrestling
match for the championship.
A man who gives his children hab
its of industry provides for them bet
ter than by giving them a fortune.
The city of Richmond realizes about
six thousand five hundred dollars per
annum from license tax on dogs.
The French Government supports
England’s efforts to suppress the slave
trade on the Eastern coast of Africa.
A plant has been discovered in An
gola, so sensitive that it closes its leaves
at the mere sound of an approaching
footfall.
Last month there were 386,341
dead letters received at the dead let
ter office; of this number 26,475 were
held for postage.
, The Judge of a Kentucky Court
has decided that a ^wspaper reporter
has a right, under the statute, to carry
arms at all times.
The Austin (Tex.) Gazette of ihe 3d
ult. contains seven advertisements, of
fering rewards for the apprehension of
as many murderers.
Galveston, Texas, has received cards
for the approaching marriage of a young
gentleman and lady of that ilk aged
respectively fourteen aud twelve.
Mrs. John C. Wetherby, a niece of
cx-Gov<Snor Alvarada, of Mexico, was
arrested for vagrancy and drunkenness
in the streets of San Francisco lately.
She is a highly educated woman, but
naughty.
The suicide of snakes has been very
_ apriag upon_ti»o Iowa
. its the reptiles crawl up from
the swamps to sun themselves upon
tlie warm rails, are cut to pieces by the
passing trains.
Not to be behind hand, Muncy,
Penn., produces a ghost in the shape
of a beautiful youug lady, who goes
from house to house, never speakiug to
any one and only murmuring: “I can
not findi t—I cannot find it.
All through the life of a pure-mind
ed, but feeble-bodied man, his path is
lined with memory’s grave stones,
which mark the spots where noble en
terprises perished, or lack of physical
or to embody them in deeds.
The only client of the late Chief Jus-
ice Chase during the first six months
after putting up nis shingle as attorney
at law, was a man who paid him half
a dollar for drawing an agreement, nnd
canto hack a few days after to borrow
the half dollar.
; A North Carolina doctor, recently
deceased, bequeathed to another phy
sician, who was his intimate friend,
his skeleton, to be set up where it
would most frequently remind tho liv
ing of the dead, and do some good in
furthering the cause of science. ' ri ~
bequest was declined..
“Indian Sally” is the name of a
a Muscogee squaw living in Bullock
county. She is said to be 104 years
old and identified with the Indians
who were friendly to the whites in 1814,
accompanied Gen. Jackson in his Sent
noble campaign in 1818, and exhibits
with pride a pot given her by “Old
Hickory.”
A well-to-do German farmer has
been found in Washington township,
Iowa, who has a daughter twenty years
old, a dwarf and cripple in body awl
mind, aud he has kept her for fifteen
I xsvrs in a box three feet six inches long
>y twenty-two inches wide, in a filthy
ilittle den in the attic of his house. She
was nearly naked, and so starved that
she ate the filth iu her miserable sty.
Most people are like an egg, too pin
thpmsdla *j bold ennytEng else.
“Misery luvs company,” but kan’t
bear kompetishun; thare ain’t no bod-
dy but what thinks tharo bile iz the
sorest bile in-markit.
To be a big man among big men iz
what proves a man’s character—to be
a bnl frog turning tadpoles don’t amount
to mutch.
What a blessed thing it is that we
kan’t “see ourselves as other see us”—
the sight would take all thfc starch out
ov ua.
" Tfaese iz lots of photbs in thfa-worid
who kan keep nine or the command
ments without enny trouble at all, hut
the oue that iz left they kant keep the
small end o:.
Expcktashun is the child ov Hopr,
ja.v-'io'P
Onr Cash Rates of Advertising*
S!T* Advertisement.*, from this date, inserted at
One Dollar per.Square (of one Ineli) for tho first'
insertion, and Seventy-fire Cents |«r Square for
etch additional Inaertion. , ,
Funeral Notices and Obituaries charged for
regular Advertising riAe*.
No axtrachargc for Local or Special aolnmn
an* Transient Advertlsementscash. Other hills
coTicCU'd every ninety days.
•VLiticralcontraet* made for any period over
one month.
iProfessiotictl Cards.
Dlt. J. E. POPE
•RESPECTFULLY offer. Lie Pro-
JL (I fcsiinnal Services to tho Citizens qt Athens
and Adjacent Country.
Occupies theoffleo formerly occupied by Dr. If.
Carlton. At nlglit.lfc cSnrc found at the r»d-
lunnKuft. fobu-lf
Forpver Forty.Vcars tliia.
PURELY VEGETABLE.
Liver Medicine has proved lo1*c the
GREAT UNFAILING SPECIFIC
Surveyor, Architect.
rpHE undersigned, hrrying a com-
JL pleto net of .Surveying Instrument*, Is now
rendytodonli kinds of ^urveyin#, vi*.: .Laying
f City Lot*, Homesteads, Plantations, Ac., and
akin# a<ptirate Plots of the same. * r . ,
.lie Is also prepaied to exd’Ute allMlfiicriptinns of
jrrrifitog, to furnish Plans for ITouses, Urid£<-*,
Ac.’, nhu make estimates of timfi
Can bt fofmd at the Ijfv Offifitof Captain li IV
Lumpxln. K. K- LUMPKIN..
janUl-tf County Uflrveynr.
Heart Burn, Cll ILLS and FEY KB, Ao., Ac.
After years of careful experiments, to meet
great and urgent demand, wo now produce from
our original tienuinc Powders, •
THE PREPARED
iqtiid form of Simmons* Liver Regulator, con
taining all its wonderful and valuable properties
and ott'er it in
ONE DOLLAR BOTTLED
The Powders, price ns before, ...$1.00 per parkam
Sent by mail 1.04
CAUTION.
Ruv no Powders or Prepared Simmons' Regula
tor unless in our engraved wrepiicr. with trade
mark, sump and signature unbroken, None oth
er is genuine.
J. II. ZEILIN & CO.,
- Macon, On., and Philadelphia
SOLD BY ALL OHUCltilSTS.
janS-Ciu
KING’S CURE
Is Certain $ Prompt
TTSED TWICE A WEEK, IT
IJ will prevent the Disease among Poultry, «i
all Idnds. One Bottle, worth FIFTY CENTS,
oakes Two Hallows of Medicine. The use of it
will save Thousands of Dollars annually to North
•ast Georgia. ,
TREPAK F.D BY
DR. WM. KING
ATHENS,
And sale hy Merchant* generally, and hr
BARRETT, LAND A CO., Augusta, Wholesale
Agents. . » feh21-Gni
A Yankee grocer, being solicited to
contribute to the building of a new
church, promptly subscribed his name
to the paper in the following manner:
Jones (the only place in town where
you can get o'even pounds of good
sugar for a dollar,) twenty-five cents.”
A young lady of much worth aud
no little weight, in Davenport, not
very long since, accidently set down
upon a skunk in a garden and smother
ed it. Her Jover came to see her that
night, and told her he would not marry
her unless she changed her hair oil.
They have a jocose custom-honse
officer in a town not far from tho Hob.
A few days since a gentleman return
ing from Europe asked what the di
on the Parian figure of a youug
in a musing attitude would be.
official looked up a minute, and replied,
‘Hum! maiden! meditation! fancy!
free!”
A man West who married a widow
has invented a device to cure her of
“eternally” praising her former hus
band. Whenever she begins to descant
on his noble. qualities, this ingenious
No. 2 merely says:; “Poor dear man!
how I wish he hadn't died and the
lady immediately thinks of something
els* to talk about.
Be careful how you go to sleep at
an auction. A gentleman settled him
self in ft comfortable chair, and, his
senses soothed by the auctioneer’s Ini-
lablv, soon dropped asleep. When
his nap was over he left the place.
The next day he was astounded at the
receipt of a hill for several hundred
dollars worth of carpets and other
things. The auctioneer hod received
his sleepy nods for bids.
nn .i |;i. n a, • for LiV'KR Coy plaint anti t lie painful olfaprina
ami like its parents, iz an arragont 1 1 horror, to-wit: dy.si'ki-sia, comsth-athin,
brat. I ■I»i">»lii<\ billions alt;u1cs, SICK IIKAIIACIIK,
rr., , , . . , Colic, Depression of Spirits, Sol'll STOMACH,
1 hose who expekt tew keep them- -
selves pure in this life must keep their
souls bileing all the time, like a pot,
and keep all tlic time skimming the
surface.
It dop’t do tew trust a man too
much who iz alwus in a hurry, he iz
like piss-mire, whose heart and bones
lavs in hiz heels.
Jelous people always luv themsclfs
more than they do thoze whom they
are jelous ov.
Curiosity iz the germ ov all cntcr-
prizes—men dig for woodchucks more
for curiosity than they do for wood
chucks. X
The purest and best specimens ov
human natur that the world has ever
seen, or over will see, hav bin the vir-
tewous heathen.
Men don’t fail so often in this world
front a want ov right motives os they
do from lack ov grip.
Thare iz only two men in this world
who never make enny blunders,, nnd
they are you and me, mi friend.
Yung man, yu kant learn ennything
hi hearing yourself talk, but yu may
possibly Dihearing others.
Thare iz lots ov folks in this world
whom yu kan bio up like a bladder, anil
then kik them ns ye plezc.
I hav alwus notissed one thing, that
wlien a cunning man burns hiz fingers
everything hollers for joy.
I suintirncs distinguish between tal-
leut and genius in this vray : A man
of tallentlcan makes whisscll out ova
pig’s tale but it takes d man ov genius
to make the tale.
I kant tell now whether a goose
stands on one leg so mutch to rest tho
az to rest the goose. I wish suni
scientific man would tell me all about
this. -»»>* O' .
Thare is a mhety site ov difference
whether Mr. John .Smith will appear
at Booth’s Theatre as Othello, or wh
ther Othello will appear as Mr. John
Smith.
I had rather be a child again than to
be the autokrat of the world.
Thare is liewmeruus individuals in
the land who look tipon what they
hain’t got az tlie only things worth hav
ing.
Thare iz those who kant laff with
impunity; if they ain’t stiff and solium
they ain’t nothing.
A fu branes in a man’s bed are az
noizyas shot fl blow np bladder.
One man ov genius to 97 thousand
four btiodred and 42 men ov talent iz
just afawt^he rite perproshun for Uk-
tuall bizZncss. . . - ;
Yentilashun iz a good thing, but
when a man kant lay down and sleep n> a TVr¥!7 , T 9G
inalOnkerlot without taking down W
lengths ov fence to let the wind in ho ’\ T* A O Tpi /^TT
iz altogether too airfah. _ -IVI—LJu OTi-VJ W 111
I think that a hen who undertakes
to lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily
neglect sum other branch of bizzuess.
Thare iz “menny a slip between a
cup and a lip,” but not liatf as meny as
thare ought tew be.
The two most important words in
any lauguuge are the shortest—“Yes
and ?‘No.”
One ov the mo?t honest and reliable
men i kno ov at the present time, iz
“Old Probabilitizlie iz an ornament
and honor to his sex. >
Rather than not hav faith in enny
thing, I am willing tew be beat 9 times
out ov 10.
I don’t never hav enny trouble in re
gulating . mi own kondukt, but tew
keep other pholks straight iz what both
ers me.—J\’etc York Weekly.
Buffalo Bill was at Hartford, Con
necticut, the other day, and while visit
ing Colt’s armory, the large number
of spectators who had assembled to see
the famous«eout, desired Iiira to favor
them with an exhibition of his skill'as
a marksman. Bill gave the chew of
tobacco in his mouth to a small hoy to
keep warm, a small-piece of white pa
per was put up on a barn do6r fifty
rods distant, B. Wiliam seized a fine
new rifle, spit on his hands and in the
manner so often described by Ned
Buntline, raised the rifle until bis nose
rested,on the stock, fired, and a picket
was knocked off from a fence ten feet
to the left of the Iwrn. This rifle bar
rel is crooked, said Bill, so saying he
hit it over a stone to straighten it, then
shot again, this time barking the shin
of an old pie woman on his right flank.
A third trial and he hit the barn fair in
the centre, and the shout that arose
the assemblage attesed the joy of the
spectators..
AMARCOmi. A. S. KUWIN, 1IOWFXL CUliU
COBB, ERWIN & COBB,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
A TIIESS, C, K OK GJA.
Office iii (he Dcujirec liuilJiny.^fiS-i
SAMUEL P. THURMOND,
o&florncy at JLair,
ATHENS, GEORGIA.
Office over Barry’s Store* Broatl Plrrtt. Ttf
Will Practice in tlie Counties of (Harke, Walton/
Jackson, Banks* Franklin, Xia«U*onau4 Hall.
AGreatAWenttl Discern
MADE BY
NIKS. L. E. BUSH
Jl'tJ TAVERN, IVALTON COUNTY, <!A.
H ERE Is WHAT cave riae to tlie Wonderful
Discovery: My little daughter, Claudia, was
tH-rerely burnt on her cheek with an egg. After
irving everything tlie moot learned Pliy>ieian of
thift county recommended, and all seemed to do no
Rood, my little daughter continued to grow wonc
and worse. In a few weeks who began to breakout
in running wrw, nil over, and I naturally became
alarmed about her condition. I dropped all, else,
liegan to compound a medicine of my own, which
titter tho first application, I discovered produced «.
jrreat change, nnd in five days my little girl fared
otT without a seur.
Mrs. Bush’s Specific Cure
-FOR-
BURN'S asi. SCALDS
Will 1* iwld tlirmlKh Agrnt* enlirolv.
Mr. and Mrs. L. BUADHBUKY am my
agent*foi- Clarke county. Mr. RANlHlLl'h
Mr. HARRISON UlUlKJLSare Agents for Jack
son and Hall counties. * niv30-ly
In March last, my xrifi, was afflicted with severe
Rheumatism in her left shoulder and arm. I ap-
f dird cvoryg.SMi remedy that, wus prcsorilHsl, hoi
i«ind nothing to relieve the phln until I applied
I'aniol’aMaaie-Oil, which gave immediate relief
alier the second application. I.. W. STEPHENS.
Thi. is to certify that I have used DAXIEL’f.
MAGIC OIL, and 1 can recommend it I'lir Frost
Hite. Chilblain, Sprains and Jlruises. Iam satis
fied that no one would reeret trviug it.
M. F. DAVIS, Chief l’olico, Athens, «
W. A. Carlton’s
ANTI-DYSPEPTIC
TONIC
A Western paper says they have
discovered a petrified ham at San An
dreas, Cal., sixty feet below the sur
face. To what reflections does not
this incident give rise? Was the ori
ginal proprietor of that ham, when in
an unsalted condition, corn-fed or oth-
wise ? Was his life-blood shed in an
antediluvian slaughter house, or did
some primitive chawbocon spill bis por
cine gore? What became of the re
mainder of the animal? Where are
(ho gpiperibs? Was aught of him con
verted into oleaginous bacon and griz
zled for the breakfast of an aborigine
in the “vast void of the incalculable
past,” over the burning embers of trees
whose companions have long since
turned into coal-beds, and did his curl
ing tail suggest to any mind the possi- . v ..
bility that it might be turned . iijto' a TlieSun having displayed thelikenes
t in whistle ? What fi story this % of of a Modoc squaw for Miss Susau Eber-
ham m-g'.t le'.l, had it a tonguo to hart, nftw does up “Shack Nasty Jim,
speak ? We anxiously await intelli- j ” and attempts to its readers into the
gencc fram the geologists on this sub-) belief that it is a correct likeness of
j.yt, . i Governor Smith.
Ah exchange says: A story is going
tho rounds about a girl dying of tight
lacing. These ugly corsets should be
abolished instanter; and if the girls
cannot live without being squeezed, we
suppose men could be found who
would sacrifice themselves. We would
rather devote three hours a day with
out a cent of pay,-as a- brevet corset,
than to sep our giris dying off in that
kind of style. Office hours almost any
time.
1 Useful in nee* of
GENERAL DEBILITY.
Particularly adapted to cases of
Indigestion, Imss of Appetite, Con.dijM-
tion, Headache,
And rarlmis oilier complaints arising from a Dis
ordered stomach. They are »l*o a good
LIVER REGULATOR,
ami a sure preventive o!
CHILLS AND FEVER
DiRKcnoxs.i-Tnke a tablespoonful three times
a day liefore weals. If too active lesseu the dose.
rr.Kl'AUl'D ONLY BY
R. T. BRUMBY & CO.,
DRUGGISTS AND PHARMACISTS,
ATHENS, GA.
T. MARKWALTER,
Jflurble W*orks
BilO.lD ST., ACfil'mi BA
A/TARBLE MONUMENTS, Tomb
iVl el*-., Marltle Mantles, Vnmiure
Work of all kinds, fount Aka plainest to the trust.
elalxTile desi^nk, and furnished to order at short
nolle.. All wntk for the country curefullv-'liotcd
j. s. Dortch,
Attorney at Law,
CARNE8YILT.E, GA.
W, R. LITTLE,
Attorney at Lawj
CARKESVILLR, GA.
business Cards:
PAINTING.
W. M. BONE*
-pROPOstv-s to Tro 1 , All kinds
JL of Painting—House, Fumituro
work-in the neatest, cheapest end most durably
stvle.
Also, imitation work aud glazing and paper
hanging done at short notice.
prompt attention given to all order* left at tho.
Drugstore*, or at his Shop on Clayton *trcet, 2d
door S. K. Kpisooiul church, Alhen*Ga. fcb7—ly.
BOOTH CHAPPUST,
Market Street, near Conrt Ho'me,
am.ily Grocery nnd Bair ftooirf
Keeps constantly nn hand rimicp.nfmUf Groce
ries, of ail kinds, and the best brand! ot Wines,
Liquor* imd t'iinlVs. ..
Give hs a call, nnd jp-t v^ill find everything in
our line of tint he»t, end prices as low as nie lowest.
BEUSSE&MOQN,
Keeps Constantly on Hand ttye «f ,j|
Wines, Liquors nnd Cigars*
AT WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
At their BAR will bo found the.best of every
thing to drink, served tip ‘‘according to Gunter.
Gentleman will also find No. 1 BILLIARD
TAIILKS, kept in good order.
W. COLLINS
ITa* now ft» Storo a Full Stock oi
PRY GOOD&
€R®e£Bt€S
HATS, SHOES* NOTftUft<
Of All Kinds, which he offct* -tfc *
OKCHLAJE* FOR CASH: J
Or in Exchange for Country ProdiflteA
09* The highest market price paid in cash’'■for
Cotton. • \
lit*-
¥ OS 8®lt At!
CHARLEY HILL
At the old established
-
%
Ou Broad Street, over thestnr* of Messrs. _.
1«. C. Mathew*, have the best and. most ult«
workmen and all the modem appliances tor
Sharing, Shampooing, ZTdir-
dressing, etc.,
Ladies nnd children waited on at their nwddenec.-v
when de-ired. Post morlrt* case* .will rereit.;
prompf and careful attention. Oct. ll/.lfeft.
BARBER SHOE
DAVIS HARRIS & SOU,
TNFORMS their friends, iustomer.-
-L amt the world gcnetallv tiny they are still at
their old stand, near Messts lliirkt- Hudgsoti',
Rook Store, oil Jtruml .Street, where tlicy do ai:
kinds of work in tholr line,
Shaving, Hail Cutting &e.,
Done in tlie best style, with promptness and dis
patch.
-T. C-
DEALER IN
DRY GOODS,
% And
FAMILY GROCERIES.
Justly Celebrated Magno
lia Hams, Hologna Sau-
e, Dried Beef,
lined Goods, &e.
Xfmir, Pipes, Tobacco arid Scgars, Raisins, Sari
dines, Kn!*, Crackers, Cheese, Candy and Pea
nuts, Lenten* and Oranges, Pickles, Northern Ap
ples and Butter Scotch.
Pish paid for country produce.
■ktr Broad Street, Alliens, C*., opposite J. IT.
Huggins. apll-ly
O’KELLEY’8 SKY-LIGHT
PHOTOGRAPH OALLERT,
Over Williams’ Shoe Store,- Broad Street.
ATHENS, GEORGIA. ’
TDHOTOGRAPH8 and Ferreotypcs
J- executed in the finest and best style of rhe
art.in cloudy as well as elear weather.
Call and be convinced that you can ubtain
Tree Likenesses at tMsf
Gallery.
Terms Cash and Low Prices.
J. F. O’KELLEY.
Talmadg© <& Borsey
Have the finest !?t of
FISHING TACKLE
Ever brought to this market. Aire a superb lot o
PISTOLS
And every thing else kept ain first class Jewrlery
Store. May -’tf.
