Newspaper Page Text
VOL. C.
TIIK WEEKLY
Curlers vllic Express*
Ik pubi mlipil every
m ii nj. in Carteraville, Harlow County, (Ja.,
liy
Smith &. Midam,
Prnv.i-irtr.rs. mt Tlie.BE 110 l IttlS, per an
i-lricf'ij i'i- uJi'nice ; I'wo Hollars for
<« tx Mout is ; »'n< Dollar i r Three Months.
A Iverti tCiiicnts fir o.n* in >uth. or less time
One Dollar per square, often line* or less,)
f or riu -|, insertion ; all other adverli-cmcntß
;1 be charged Filly per cent on old prices.
PROFESSIONAL CABD". _ =
m r c A. HOV/AHD,
attorney and counsellor at law,
C iUTEKSVILLE. HA .
W. H. PRITCHETT,
Attorney at Law-
CARTERSVILLE. GEORGIA.
Pi j pK'KS Law in all the courts ot the
<'i»<‘.-okc t- circuit and counties adjoining
Da. tow. Jltn23 ’
THOMAS W. MILNER,
Attorney Lit Kiiw.,
CARTfRSYILLE. GEORGIA.
WiSl at end prompt!y to business entrusted ,
to his cine. Oet. 5 wly |
TIIOS W DODD,
Atto rn c y at la a w
AND COUNTY COURT SOLICITOR.
liiiilfttloii. Oa.
Will give particular attention to the
coll'-cUoR ol claims. Oct 20.
.1 o s*:» *■' - B i anion,
ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
KINGSTON, (; -A.
K \ l \ (VrU'K't !, -V W in the several eoun
| u,-« of the Cherokee Circuit, nl-o. I‘olk,
II vrr ils ui in 1 Floyd ouiidea, Prompt at- |
teuli hi given to business, Nov. 23. ly
( Professional cards SIQ cash per nnrnim.j
JOHN W. WOFFORD.
Attorney at, LaW)
CARTERSVILLE, GA,
Also. FIRE INSURANCE AGENT.
l lie best Northern and
Southern Companies. (bin be buiinl
lit lilt' I lW office ol \\ o(Tufll l <ll 111 It
A jir'rl 10, 1800.
JQNES & MALTOSE,
A!TURNEYS AT LAW.
Cartersville , Ga.
WIT,!, attend promptly toallhnsiiessen
truated to their cure. Will praet <ein j
(b - C < irt ofl c.v, an 1 equity n the Gherokuc
Circuit. Special iitle.ition given to the collec
x u of claims. J-m- E >Y
oh.i 1-d ices. lb Abdthic.
JONES TANARUS: MALTBIE.
jiCH, a'.-.va' vi s-i %4«ai vrs,
CARTERSVILLE GA
’.Ve a <• au'.’inrtxed t ■ < 1 . *■«' "ivc on hum! -eve at
it . , t 1 11 « iiu \v x*»ui' but«M'Hi Tott* \ 'i l I
. '** ' V \ t , ii- -u’l .- Ale, sever I »>1 • ntnti -ns ~f v»r' j
o’lVila -'''l ’"'v von tv. P,riles .le- or
v I vild. veil ta-veui , e.»tl. At <■ • •"•“■> v-* lo s
|H- .11 ]> ly n-OVrird .T.t vl. eb). i
S u v $ e o si ft is tl
Mechanical IDontist..
ffl'MIH u idersigmul respeotfully oiler liis pro
-3 le. ioo. a. I services to the eUc/.ens of lar
•e -vilie and vicinity. rs~r~\ He is prepared
~ do all kinds ti work Iwlongin*
t vhispro'Vssi.m. JJmT Full setts ot
umlh put in on gold plate. Work all war
tZ T F.M. JOHNSON.
Cor'-crsville, Feb. 13.
DU. T. F. JONES,
TSMINDEKS his professional services to the
I citizens of KINGSTON and vicnity. and
•espvllullysuiie its a pillion oft eir patronage.
June 2.
DR. HUGH A. BLAIR,
l»hysi«'iii!« asset burgeon,
rttrsville. Georgia, v
]•) K?*'ECTFULLY iti.dersh's piofewfioiial services ta
tTv“(i"i>-v i h « ,p »iilence, ou Main Si., T te rrsl
dvnee ol M r. P. Mar.li. tuue'n.
D«i. o. PlSKElllOtl,
Cartersville, Gcarg o.
1,1.1. s Ids prrffisi n*l Bt vicf to the <■ I nive of
. arlersvi! «• a> <1 »n r> "I'“* v c< u *’ j" ~
, ~'JI.MU-.. Office up-.1l sin l‘r.
, j Ntw Unck Bulidlny. Maj Id. ISO., aly
Lanie r lions c,
MARIETTA, (JA.,
BY ELLISON A 03333, Proprietor *
raMllS II «use s located hi a few steps of he
J, Kailroad, where the ears stop. Passengers
lait‘' three meals a day here. Meals prepared
a a!! hours. j‘dy -I-
S. 11. Pattillo,
FASHIONABLE TAILOR,
11-111 Atteioi iirmnpov t , Iht r itM v. i-ti’ j
V? o'S o and M -kini; Bey's and Meu’ Cio hlny.
C2.'; ii Luc rnoin <1 liiair <k ill adjl.-aii sitere. y
Cartsr.vide, tl». 1 '
Dress Tailor
liS prepared to execute nl’ kinds
to! Ivor, in the Fashionable Tail
iugline with ncatne.sand in du
rabie style. Over J. Fisas &. Cos s store,
Cartersville, jau 2d.
"jFT-W- MAXWELL,
BSLICK MASON,
Is p-etisred to do all kinds of work in Rii- k sod
tene at sh rt n tice. Has on hand a fir e lot of newly
burned nick and is prepared to do woik upon the
m »st reas.-iah e t«rm<.
Cur eisvil l - G.u, Mlj |rd. P£l.
The Cartersville Hotel.
DR. THOMAS MILAM having
chirge of this House, would be § **'
pie.iscd to accomm nlate a f w Bour-l ” ! i 5*
ers with BOARD, with oj without
Lorlging. CailanJ see him at once for terms
Carttrsvillej Jan 17.
THE CARTERSVILLE EXPRESS
CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS,
ECU PSE j a 'J Sate'
S faille,
J. G. Stocks,
TANARUS) MPECTFUI.LY 101 l y (he p, 1,! c y- oerallv that
Jl t e j s- "j»- l,i« New ai,<l C •iniooUi
onp LIVE' Y AMI .-ALE STAHLE, and h s it stock
eil wHi (foou 1,, r-es i,ny i.-p, , and is i r-pared to
tu> niah ihnse travelinx into a <U ncro-’a il,e c u try
w t)i etiy tint] ~| j, i ute e->tiv.yaii,-e. lie is B'.o
J, >- i to iJ -aid St cl: 'ii a' yq r iri-y wit coii,f„ t
: t'l- q',«• l-rs an,| , onn'if<i: U-e.l h t re. s >i,at)!e r.its.
Stir k in'tii;l,t and -old at his .‘nhies Hlss ! tKika l
••ring f' e.-H ■< nd ,qni|,iye 'nv he f! ,»1 e•’ him-eif with
the oeli.f Ilia - , h-c in f ri h hs i-iis'oin rs with as
) e n nil i c unp'e-, an mn-fii as any li\e cstati i hmer.t
in U|,[,ei- Gcr.i . AI he sxk« to est h i,ti iti - fact is
a ti ia! CAR ! EftSVII I.E. GA. March 2.', ISO*.
w c arc requested b\ C<>l' J- G. Stocks to an
nounce o the public, that he has bought out
the J.ivery Stock of J. J. Jones J.-, and that the
two Stables will he consolidated, and that the
following list of prices will be strictly adhered
to.
Hack horses,an ! driver p»r day .... #7,00
11 r-c. 15 icny and Driver “ “ ... f.T.00
il" te &. Ii !isj.y " »• ? ,0d
“ “ ff.fn
Sid (be li»r»® ye 1 $2 60
♦ ■* -‘x ‘i iy
W. L. Kirkpatrick & Cos., Druggists,
cartersville, ga.
WILL keep constant on hand a well
seeded stock of pure
DRUGS MID MEDICINES,
£■ & £ 1 S 8* G US,
IS'Sa^
Patent Medicines* &c.
Jones’ Carriage Repository*
Jar. 17.
s
*
CASKETS.
By Erwin & Jones.
ASSORTED sizes • opt on hand. Also
VV OOD-COFFINS made to Older. V
g.,- i ! Ht'l XRSE r i lv at all hours.
CARTERSVILLt- Feb I, 18tl7. wly
. it, TIOIIXWASTLE,
| Jetvcller anti Watch and
ClocEi Repairer,
In the Front of A. A. Skinner & Go’s store -
Cartersville pin £5
James W. Strange,
Dealer in
STOVE'S
GRATES,
IRON,
HARDWARE,
PLAIN AND JAPANNED TIN WARE, &C.
Glean Linen aim Cotton R igs taken in ex
change for G to.ls. Repairin., Roonng and
Guttering done with neatness and dispatch.
Cartersville, IVov. 1. wly
J. 13. Mobsrts
RETAIL DEALER IN
Corn,
Meal,
Floor.
Iliteon.
Sugar,
FofiTee,
Tobacco,
&.c. &o.
At Skinner Shepherd’s old stand, on Main
street, between Jones’ Carriage. Shop and
Strange’s Tin Sh >p.
ISe&“ R. R. Harcs with J, E. Roberts
je 21,- ts. Cartersville, Ga.
Samuel Clayton, R. A. Clayton.
S CLAYTON & SON-,
DEALERS IN
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
CARTERSVILLE, GA.
We keep » eetieral stock and can fn-nish you wi'h
m.yt iii yon w ut. C rue to see u —we will se:l you
kiwis.,—r r as-->i li e pric. S. Come and look at our
61 cL —Ni li-rm duet if Wecant'rade.
If friends tuvor usivuh eonsiiiiim i ts or orders, we
will use tur tvtij u n j oen.r t of their interests.
BUTTER, EGGS, DRIED BLACKBERIES
dkc. taken at in a I kcl fates for yoode.
5000 LBS.
Clean Cotttn and Unca
wanted. When ready sacked we will tske them at 3
cen - pe-lh. for goods. Bii f t>'em in anv quantity.
J¥~Mr. Uriah 6'rp h eos i- v. JtH us—he i-.viles all his
fri • dslc-<■ I! -nd see what he cm du for hem
-Via- ta Quotation.. weil for Go;d Da-t srd old
BauklUj, ie2S.
CARTERSVILLE GA. AUGUST 10. 1807.
CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS.
Setting JTlncFituC Oil,
T) T at the Baltimore Chemical Works, for
JL haie Ly
B&K.
sssx a ssAitsa,
DEALERS IN
Chemicals, Paints, &c , &c.
Proprietors of Kramers Hair Pestora
tive, Psoricus, Universal Bitters,
Nerve & Bone Liniment, &c.
Cartersville, Ga.
"VTTE hog L ave to inform the citizens gen
, | erally, and physicians particularly, that
we have on hand a large, well selected stocK
of Drngii and Medic!tie*, and are
ready to fill orders at the lowest prices.
Being aware of the great adulteration prac
ticed in preparing Medicines, we have made
arrangements to have this done under our "wn
supervision, and will warrant ail our Medi
cines pure. As we buy in the best niarKets in
the country, and buy entirely for cash, we can
supply our customers with goods as cheap as
the; can possibly be bought elsewhere, We
will duplicate any bill of g-oods bought south of
Louisville. |
Respectfully soliciting your orders, we are
Yours verv respectfully,
Feb 8, 1867. BEST & KRAMER.
J. A. & CT
.Ii c receiving their Stock of
SPRING AND
Ihnnmcr Coubs,
COMPRISING everv variety adapted to the wants of
the country, which they a:e de.oriuined to sell at
the Lowest Price s
Cheaper
than the
Cheapest!
All are invited to
CALL, EXAMINE AND BUY
bargains.
Terms: Cash !
and our motto is
Small Profits.
Caitersville, Ga., April 10, ISG7.
NEW STORE! NFW GOODS !
And New Arrangements.
The undersigned takes pleasure in announcing to the
c ; t zens of Cirr.ersville and-urrou-dinfr country, that
he has jn-t. opened out a most sp'.ended and FASH
ION AB-Lh. Stock of
«sut« a
DRY GOODS,
udanteT to the warts of the people, which he proposes
X;> sell at P ice to BU!T the TIMES.
L idles wi i find almost Every thing pertaining to their
wardrobe.
gentlemen will find Material and Furnishing
Goods for Clothing.
Families will find all kirds of pnods common for do*
MESTiC USE, also BOOTS, SHOES,
Hats, Bonnets, Hoop Skirts,
Umbrellas &c &c.
wi!l keep on hand a large lot of
FACTORY •^YAF^TSI'S
nF WOULD be h poy to receive cIU at anytime
His and jors are thrown wifi- open, and the invitation
is to a!’. Come and examine hia goods M nd pri es.
Next ,io. r to A. A. Skb.ner & Cos .a- <1 jus' below ‘.he
Po-t.>ffi:e, U. FEnGC'ON,
J. T. ''TOCRIi with FerguajX,
Cartersville, G »., May Ist 1567.
ii§©
.Hcres of Bartow
I I propose to sell three tracts of of Land embracing
1290 ACRES.
and will give the best bargains now offered in the county.
Ist .Tract.
9’o acres—tOO acres cleared, good fence and
in a high sr. tte of eultlva'inn. The whole ’.rac' lies
ne'l. p•■"iu. es'reelv and is plca«an to cupivale. I-is
ne>r **WO MEUCH 'NT MILLS C HURT MIES AND
HIGH SCHOOLS c •nveuient —tiea th mi l society
The ioq -uveu eiiis consist of a newly nnisheo " .elling
with six rooms—G u h-use S&iilh’s shop and other
nece-sary rutbuil insr*. together wi;h slioiherteparaie
euemeuts on ti e place.
2nd Tract.
Contains 820 acres—SO cleaned, improvements common.
This pl<ue Lea 1 mile of the town of Euuariee.
3rd Tract,
Contains 50 acres, one half c, e at and
The above lands can be bought separate nr tosrethe - -,
Terms e sy. Interest in present crop -oLI with th place
jr . esired and posses-ion given, lorty day« from and y of
sale. B.T. LEtRL.
June 1,1867. w3m
STACEY FFOTJSF2-
CLAY ROBERTS, Proprietor,
Cliurcli Street,
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
I July 19 1567
CABTERSVIHS ADVERTISEMENTS
' WSm
CAKKIAGE KKrOSITOKF
AYD
CARTERSVILLE, GA.
Spociai alien lion given to Ucpitir*
iilg - .
HAVING opened business at my obi
stand, I am prepared t> do any and ai!
Li.ius of work de-irod in the t arriage Line,
at low figures for casl . I shall keep on hand
a fine assortment el'
Buggies & Carriages
and can, >t short notice, furnh h airy kind o ;
a VEHICLE des red, Having connected
myscll with
Messrs. Wyman & May,
Augusta, a
a well known unu reliable firm. I will sell ,
at Augusta Prices freights added,
,
from tbe bee-1 Factories at the North ft''d
East. All of which will be warranted right, |
Being well acquainted with the country and l
people, with long experience in the i-usiness,
IP iri ose to furnish the market with such
work as will give perfect satisfaction, I shall j
be able to furnish the nitir° country, esne |
faci Hies are unlimited. Call and examine,it j
shall cost you nothing. I feel assured that j
the good people of this county will appreciate j
the honest efforts of ont of tiieir ol.i citiz ns, ;
broke down by Hie war li. 11. JONES, I
January 17. *867 wlv
o£d”debtsT!
OLDBSBTS!!!
All persons indebted to the old Mercantile ■
firms of of HOWARD, STOKE LY cc CO.. ;
and J. A. & S. ERWIN, are respectfully urg
ed to make liberal payments on these debts out
of the p csent wheel crop. AH who refuse to
respond to this call for only part payment will
be sued. 'J bese debts are from six to ten years
standing, an • longer’tidnhrence cannot be giv
en. Call at J. A. ERWIN & CO.’B store
where tbe claims are, and make liberal pay
ments and ,-ave eiuts.
Cartersville, Ga., June 18, i6fl7.
'narletT Slserißl SaSes.
For the first Tuesday in September next.
WILL be gold befe re the Uourt&ouM Joer In th“ town
of Carter.v>l:e, on tbe firs. Tuesday in Sept, r.ext,
within Segal sale hou.s, the tciiowmg property tj «>t
Lot of Land t.umber 1i99, in the I.th dis
trict of the 3d section, now Bartow county,
levied on as the property of Benjamin Turner,
by virtue of a “fi fa,” i sued from the Super or
court of Bartow county, in favor of Warren
A l -in vs Andrew Hamilton, and Andrew J.
Earp makers, and Benjamin Turner, indorser.
A Iso, 2300 acres of land, more or less, known
as the Rowland Spring property, and one
tenth interest in the property of the Etowah
Manufacturing & Mining Company ie'ieil on
as the property of Wm. T. Quiuby, lo satisfy
tundry fi la’s in my hand, and in favor of John
L. Rowland, and Francis N. R nvland execu
tors of John L* Rowland, deceased, vs W. T.
Quinby issued from Bartow Superior Court,
ami in favor ofE. Lewis vs Wm, T. Quinby
issued from Bartow County Court, one in favor
of C aides D. Phillips vs, Wm.T. Quinby, is
sued fiom Bartow JSupemr Court—one in fa
vor of J. R. Parrott vs Wm. T. Quinby issued
from Bartow Superior Court,
P inter’s Fe - one and dlar on ert-h 3 fir.
Also—one house and lot in the t'wn of
Cartersville.whereon F Walter Pritchett now
resides, levied on to satisfy two fi fa’s issued
from Bartow Superior Court, one in fav >r of
Charles D. Philips vs John L Row-land and
F. M. Rowland executors of John S Rowland
deceased, one in favor of J. R Pariott vs. said
i Rowland’s : levied on a.< the -property of said
j Rowland’s
Also—Two Houses and Lots in the. town of
Kingston, containing one acre each, one occu
pied by Thos Hargis, the other occupied by
Frank W hithorn, levied on as the property
ofTnoroas Haigis to satiefy an fa issued from
Bartow Superior court in favor of Hutcherson
; & Pritchett, vs Hargis & Fulie. : property
( pointed out by defendant,
Also, Lot of Land where m R. ?*T. C. Ware
resides, number not known, in the 17th distirct
and thrid section of Bartow county, io satisfy
a fi fa issued from Bart, w Superior court in
favor of Thomas Tumiin vs Robeit M. C.
Ware and J. A. SeWoli, ievied on as the prop
erty of Robert M. C. Ware, pioper'y pointed
out by said Ware.
j Also at time and pltme One House and lot
I in the town of Carte-svillc now occupied by Dr.
J. W. F. Best Levied on as the prop, rty of E.
i B, Presley, To satisfy aft fa is-ue i by the In*
. feri r Court of ( s a County in favor of Thayer
Dewing & Cos. Vy. E. B. Presley
—Also at same time and place Two Mare
mules (mouse colored, large size) and one
two horse family carriage & sett of double
harness, Levied on as the property of John L
Rowland to satisfy afi fa issued from B irt >w
1 Countv Court.m favoroflsreal I 3 C ,v ‘ s Against
j John L Rowland, to satisfy a‘Hi fa.” issued
I from Bartow Superior court, in favor of
P. Davis, agai st John L. Rowland.
—also —
One House & Tmt at Al atoona Depot, oc
cupied by Hopper -A Wofford, lo satisfy thiee
Justice court -- f; fair” officers of court vs.
Hammond & Clayton, as the property o‘'
defendants. Levy made and returned by a
constable. Yv’.L Gi)OL’>* IN Sheriff,
AaFjDN COLLIXS,
August, 1. Deputy Sheriff.
CANCERS CAN BE~
OTTIEcIECID
rtP.Sfi\3 guffeiing *itb Career-. Ulcers nr ehX sores
can be cured by appi} ieg to the uad.r igoed.
.Lnciuse oce Bcllar aci a loress
A. >l. COCIIR
CANuKti OOCT<>R,
*ng, 11567, Gaincsv.ile, Ga.
Wanted—. 4 Wife.
V t imagine- the author of the following i;
F'* lcr hard to please, but we think if ar.v ot
our young ’a.lv readers will fill the bill, he will
, nuke her a good husband :
I war.t a wife, a first-rate wife—
A girl that s all mv own
i o ro >k nr, meaie anJ cheer tny lifo
ith smiling word and tone,
I want a kind of app’e girl,
Ripe, rosy-chcekeil and sound,
u hose tender feelings sorter quid
And turn me all around.
A girl with cheeks like holly-hocks,
Industrious kind and true,
i fiat s smart enough 'o so >t my socks
And mend mv ciothes like in w.
A g ri ihat ne’er will pledge a vow
To any clitip but me—
That s been brought up t > milk a cow
And have warm cakes for tea.
Like tallow lips her eyes must be,
As melling and as brigh ,
Thei'ii Jo to court by, you see,
And save another light.
She must be as graceful as the bell
Upon the lily found,
.An l make such butter asw’ll sell
For thirty i en’s a pound.
‘ Genies Jlunro” i l ies the Pat
ent t otv Milkier.
Massissipfi, (what uster bk) June ’G7.
Euiteks •Southern Kultivaior: 1
wnr sitiiu kalinly at Ik»iiiu, enjoy hi the
sweet repose ol beio under my own
vuie and fig bush —smoking my pipe
and rumuiaun over the ups and down?
ol inis here present onsarlam xisteiice,
with Rhody An by my side, noddin and
niititt by turns —tuai is ter sav, Kliodv
war dom tliis latter —when slie begun,
durin a wake interval, in llns wise:
••(iemes, my dear, why don’t yer move
outer sight that Buggy i’icnv kareass ?
Thar it sets, knocked up agin the same
stump, wliar it got smashed niore’n a
year ago —mint done our family any
good. Ther sight of it gives me the
hippo, makes Robert swear, and you
yerseifaint the same man when you
passes that stump —wish you’d hide
that konvrapsiou or burn it up weaisit
hud no luck since its been here. It nr
a monitmul ol vonr foolishness, (letnes.
and will Gaiit tne liappiu.is of this here
family as long as it suys litre; ought
ier he a waruin to us all—tnal is ter
say—waruin ter you partikular.” —
■Says I, “iiave yer got any more C-Jift
Enterprises to sell now, Ruody?” Giv
er puff with my pipe, and sorter looked
round to %ee how she’d take that,
llowsever, she war noddin, and I war
giatf , fur i had ventured on a tender
suhjeek—one to which 1 didn’t keer
to skinnish words with Rhody, kuowin
I’d koine out 2d l>est, and have to sur
render tliout Uiskresion. 1 know’ll
what were the better part ol valier.
having found out long ago twont do to
aggervate lolks oftlie (email persuasion,
'i lia ar a quar sorter mixter, anvhow
—got kreation by the back ov the
neck, now. Talk er bout yer "Lords
ov kreation !” Aim they Sardines be
side yt-r Miss Lucy (J. btoue tVlutles?
“Weaker vessels!” I say, berhoJd
won au’s rappid proggressive strides up
North. Yes, sir. see her ihar with
1 fell stroke, snach herself from the
wash tub, tlier kichen tire or darnin ov
stocins —"et id omnus generribits ” —
ami light on top ol er horse, gwiue
round with M. D.’s saddle bags, felin
pulses and givin phis, pukes and laitin
perskriptions —standin up ir the pulpit
! and trym ter explain ther Book, what
| says tlrey might lei “be silentor else,
; witli krackm toes, koinmimikatiu with
spirit hem’s of auulher world lifiiu up
the future veil, ami tel lin yer thoui fail,
who you’re going to marry tor £$
You’d skase ex pee one ov their sex ter
perklaim in public on any tex ; but they
do. Yes, sir. berhold ],. L L. D. M.
I). Anny Dickerson spouitn out irooi
the phortnn on permiskuous subjects
—makin the shad ov derinostbernes
git shadier in shaine. Whither, oil!
wiiulu-r, ar we poor men folks er
drill in.
Rimdv drapped her hit ti n which woke
her up, and stopped my koggitations
ou above dargerous grounds “What’s
tf;ml you said bout Gift Enterprise ,
Kol’n Munro,” said Rhody. 1 didn’t
like that • Kurnel,” aforesaid. Want l
glad, when 1 heard Robert ax. at the
hack door, “whar’s daddyand didn’t
; I git up quick and go see what the boy
wanted. Lo ks gits in a hurry some
times fur particular reasons, ami / hud
mine, just then —/ did. Bob had just
| k.uin truin the Depo, and brung me a
letter and a little box. Well, l tuck
the things ami went hack lo wliar
Rhody war siltin. “Sakes er live,
Genies, what’s that yer got this time.”
“Box and a letter,” says I. “Don’t put
that box down so near me,” said Rho
dy. “it might be a Torpeder shore
eisuff. ter blow up this here naborhood,
fur sarvin that Yankskonl master so
wish Sal Morrow had never bin horn.”
Well, I Lusted open the letter, and red
iher konlents to Rhody, which went
runnin in this wise :
»* Col'n Gemes Munro —l hav* seen
your satirical strictures on the “Sulky'
Plow," (unjust as 1 conceive them,)
I and take the liberty of this day ex
pressing you a small patent machine, ol
recent invention, for which I am sole
lasting her' by to convince your
biased Southern mind that one good
‘bing. at least can come out of this our
-\ OTOrr’h. I on!v that you give it
* fair tii;;!. am! candid! v state iis merits
thrum;h the public prints.
1 I; ve !h ’ 1 -mor &c.,
R. M-JONES. JR.. Agmt.
For ColyjiTs P.ucot Gow Milker.*’
‘■F -S '- Minnie directions. Ac., ac
company. Yoms, R. M. J.”
i he say k "w-mi!ker,Gem's?”
es, says I. “Gracious giioui’-iss,”
-■iid R';ody. “it must be a live thin«
throw the koutrapsion in the tire.” 1
bet its fad er snaiks, lizards, skorpians,
and a th'misan things ter kill folks
with.” -- .vi.’ said I, “i; ar a m ichim*.
R'mdy, am! can’t hurt.” “Don't stand
'<» reason.” said Rhodv, “how can a
merchine sue er kmv ?” “Don’t know”
said I. “let’s see,” and I opened tfie
box ami tuck the trick out. it war a
kurious kontrapsion. You’ve sect! these
lit-re double barrel fixins folks stares
through in a Theater. Well, it had -1
things sorter like them, up side dow,
ami made outer injun rubber, and fixed
on ter a piece tr hast iron—2 little
hellose handles and a spout like them
on a grist mill, wliar the meal koines
outer; smelt sorter like hot varnish
and injun rubber kombined. Rhody
tuck off her specs, wound up her nittin,
stuck tbe needle in the ball, folded her
arms on lie.- bosom, kieared her throat,
sighed, and bergun lettin off' in this
here sorter stile: K duel Guiles M m
ro. the v. lode w.-rLi froui New Ihiirt
siiyre to New Orleens, ar gittin ter
think we ar the fmdishest f.unilv m
hit, ami I begin ter believe mvselfef
the foot killer war to k*ome by here
mnv, you and Hubert would have a
slim show in for your lives.” Gittin '
sorter riled myself, says I. “spi.se your •
Ido’s insured in the il rilonl Ivanuitiivut
Kompany. Says she, “first :u, I lour- !
most, that’s yer Buggv “Yes,” j
says I, “ami tliar’s ver Gft Enter, i
prise." “Yes,” says she, “and tliar’s :
ver koiton piekin Mcrrhiiies win' -core I
out yer briclies, and” “Yes,” i
says 1, “and t liars yer wafer full what !
loch a rain old Noa’s flood were ;i
drizzle beside.” Then drawin another '
sorter sigh, pnttin on her specks and
piekin up her nittin sbe*said. “Weil,!
Gemes. i wouldn’t be surprised if we !
ain’t all fools.” “That’s my opinion :
said Land we koineided lor the 1st 1
time l feclin like I’d whipped a bard |
light for once in mv lilt*. I 'lien her- j
gu:i readm the direeksion fur using the
merchine. When I got to that place
wliar it says it “can milk a kow in 3
minits,”4 retd that out loud. “Weil, j
well, well,” said Rhody, -- in 3 niinils?
—jest, suppose it koiild do that, Gemes, !
wouldn’t it be a lerrybio sa' in er time
—takes me most I hour ter milk 4
kow’g—don’t strip em clean then, even 1
—besides leavi n a tit for the kalf. ;
Wouldn’t ih-’t kontrapsion suck all the
tits at once, tliout leavin any for the '
kalf.” “Yes,” says I, “yer don’t want
no kalf—you kill tliat.”"“What makes'
the kow give down her milk when you
begin niilkiu, if tlmr aint no k ill'to start
her, Sides, limv dc von keep up your
stock cr kattie, if yer kill all the kalfs.”
said Rhody. “However, proof ot the
puddin ar ter cb.aw ttie hag. Gemes.
spose you and Robert see what the
thing can do this evenin, tlimit lettin
anybody else know nothin about hit.
Tt e nabors mde bio win horns ot ther
mouths bout them other things all over
the kountry—shan’t kno mithin bout
| this fixin, though.” Weil, that evenin,
when I heard the kows a low in up at
the cup-pen, Rhody, Robert. I and tier
merchine sorter sneaked out er the
: house, up ter the cup-pen. “G mes von
. must try the tiling furst. / ain’t got
j nothin ter do with hit —understand
■ that. ’Thar’s old Brimlle, she ar a
■ gentle kow ; if it knot milk her it can’t
suck nillhill saw Orindle, buck yer
j iaig,” and she sawed, and I squatted
j down sorter under her side, put the
piggin mi the ground, and ther tits in
the sockets am! bergun pumpin'. I
hered a quer sorter stranglin noise the
: Ist pump. Kum to lind out, Brindle’s
| 2 hind tits were heap smaller than the
front ones, and wouldn’t fit. Sockets
; war all the same size. Sides, the
thing war so nrful heavy, I couldn’t
pe.ntp and hold hit 2. Rhody went
out to'Tn-r side ter hold up while I
pumped, but the dratted thing strangled
wors en et*er—insomuch it skec-red
Brimlle, and she begun kiekfn, and put
her foot right in the piggin, and spilt
: bout 2 tea spoons er milk, what had
kom out. “Let’s try Brimlle’s heifTer,”
said Rhody, ‘ her’s ar -til the same
! size.” I then went to the heiffer, put
the tneruoine on auu bergun pumpin—•
this lime every thing lit. After a little
1 seed 2 or 3 draps er milk corn cr
drapptu down, but just then mv arm
give out holding up the merchine, and
Robert started round ter totlier side ter
hold it up, but Rhody said, “No you
don t Robert, that kow never would
let anybody com on that side tliout
kickin.” “Well,” said I, “it ar a fail
ure, and we’ll have ter give hit up.”
Rhody had been redin Shakspire or
j somebody else that evening, so she
straightened np, put one arm kimbo,
luther on her bostun, (sorter stage actio
like) and then says she ter rue, talkin
away down in her throat, says sk“, - T
2 have given suck and oughter no how
tender tis ter lute Use babe that milks
n,( —(t'vant none of yer Yank injun
rubber pump suckers nuther, Gciues
Murr \ but h.i i br.,'.os, i,t;gs arms)— —
i!h> .1 it “ ;:r srniliti m my face, (and
war a g<*ot! chilti, Gemc*,) I'd pirke its
boneless tuns from uv bomm, and
das b llier brains out agin the Curst slump,
bad I so ««.’•?? 5, as you bout Yank
Ms rcbiiKs ti iv and me—-r; ■> though lint
fail ai 'fi.'" 'l’iiat war the “onkmdest
kill” of my life. Says f, “{{body, I’ll
be (i‘d tatted a’f over it I don’t filler
ycr bint," and so ...avia, 1 suaclied tho
bu,neies9, gum’d pomp sucker from the
ltd tier’s busum, a ol war in the act or
fiuasbiti a ter binders, when Robert
said, “hold on daddy, let me try my
hand at liter lixin.” 1 knot'll Rob war
an inventive genus, and i <rive hjt to
him—leeiin mighty eurius though.—
Robert mil down to the house, luck the
nreingle off his mammy’s side sadle,
and brung liii up—fixed the eireinglo
on tlu r merchine to hold i.it, put t!>o
tits in, and but krltul the t'.xin tight over
the heifer’s bock. “I? 'burl’s perfected
the teller's in ere hi ik',” s'id Hhotly.
“and it lie war a Yankv. ho would hav
a patent riirlit fur it too.” Robert was
sorter lilted up by these remarks of Rim
mammy and jump and bout quite spryly
—bergnu pumpiii miller hard, and hurt
the heifer. She stopped eliawiu, swal
lowed her cud, turned her head round
am! bergnn smellin the merchine. 1
seed s>lie war gitin oneasv, and says I
—short and quick, like 1 war m id—
says f, “saw you wensh;” but she
didn’t saw that time.* No sir. So fur
trom ii she begun kiekin rig 'it and left
—with Ist one 100t —2d the tolher one.
Ist tliino i noed, Robert, piggin and
wnat little milk thar war. commingled
in a [die, bout JO feet berhiml the kow,
an ini ongi nous mixtur, and in a incred
ible short time-Robert hoilerin O
Lordy ! miik in hi- face, eyes, nose,
\ eres— lact is, in all his orgins—bottom
of piggin kicked plum out and a rollill
long down loanls the house like a little
wagon whed.' 1 herd somebody xclaim
“Gemiiny, Genie-', dont she roi ? lo -lc
out inr versetf.” 1 looked round and
seed Riiody goin up a sapplin, quick
er’en a gray squirrel. Thar warut non
of your eourtin poetry, tht'n. No sir.
That old out an war so skewed she
couldn't a knurled a piece from the
smalltrft pamflat—don’t no -whether
she war able ter say her “now I Jay me
down to sleep,” even. Site warm feel
in supine> jest then. That tliar lieilcr
warut giiltn pacified durin all this com
motion, umiter. She i ipped and ranted
round in a ring try in ter look under
herselfter see what \va.r trying ter suck
her—then she Plopped, swelled up ter
bust the circingle, but it war a qew
one, and wouldn’t bust. She thro wed
down her head, put her tong not a little
and bellered like she smelt Lees blood
—then run straight through a ten rail
fence, thout jumpin—nnckin rails like
pipe stems and tuck a bee line for Par
son Mm row’s house'Gemps didn’t that
lieilcr caper orl'ul.” said Uhody, seuin
away up ynnder out «*» it limb. Says
1, •‘Robert gel up and git a ladder.
Yer mammy can’t climb down like site
went up:” then lookit* up at Rhody,
says I, “givens a passage of poetry for
the occasion,” hut she wouldn’t, and I #
luck the heifer’s Iran: ter see what had
hereout of her. 1 found bushes skinned,
and kow liar all the wav long till I
com ter the Parson’s ['alios. Thar I
seed a big gap down, and over in the
corner *»f the yard i hat heifer lay, pan tin
powerful, and try in ter look over 10-r
sides. Old Miss Morrow’s clothes lint*
war twined round her horns, and white
clothes scattered perfustdy all round
the house 1 went up to the kow, un
strapped the merchine and tuck hi* oil.
That heifer got up and went ther back
track fur home, blowiti orlul. Every
door bent the Parson’s house war
locked and barred, dost then I lizard
a winder razin, and Sally M >rrotv
popped her head oulen the 2d story
••Kol. Munro.” said .she, ‘what upon
tlie yerll) ails yer cattle— look at them
palins and all our clothes.” 1 didn’t
care to here nothin more—war lookin
fur old M ss Marrow to pop her bed out
next. So I just put that merchine ter
one side er me, jumped over them
palins, and got away from tliar like the
lieilcr, and bout as bad scared.
Now, Mr. R. M. Jones, Jr., Agent
fur aforesaid kow milKer—My l)car
Sir :—Your Kow Milker ar a kow dry
er. That heifer aint give down nary
drop of milk since site war pumped,
during her random running through
them bushes. 1 think the runnin,
aforesaid, put the pumps ter work
and sucked her plum dry, afore sJio
fell down. Don’t think you or any
your folks could, in one week's pump
iii, gi' milk enuff out a cow, with the.a
sutler machines ter thicken a cop cr
hot water tea fur a six months Habv
pervided you had ter hold up the fixin
and the cow wouldn’t stand a circingle.
Now, sir, your merchine has these
here •• merrits hit has kicked up a
coolness atvvixt the Monro’s and Mor
row’s, dryed up a Durrani heifer in 20
noinits, injured the morals and face of
Robert (be aiutdone stvarin yit, hardly.)
ruined anew piggin, and put a poor old
oman up a sapplin—which latter ar a
sktndal, in my konamuoity. Please
&eep yer home-made Aa!fs in yer own
cup-pen, and if yer ever fame down
this er way, Rhody'Ll maAe a dry nurse
of you mighty quicA, and what’a mor’eu
NO. 7