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THE CUTI
IBERI
APPEAL.
Vol. n, Cuthbert, Georgia, THURSDAY, April 33, 1008. ^STo. 35.
The Lire-Oak.
■T It. B. JACKiOW.
\Yllh liia gnarled old anna, and hie lrv* fora,
Majestic In tbs wood,
f* From Agf, In the sen and stomi.
The live-oak long hath stood ;
'With his stalely air, Umt srave old tree,
lie stands like a bonded monk.
With the pray nines waving eok-nnily
From bis shaggy lliabs and trunk.
And ibe generations come and go,
• Ami still he sUmls upright,
And be sternly look«tin the wood below,
At aonaclons of bis miglit.
but a mourner sad Is the bory tree,
A mourner sad and lone.
And la clothed i« Mmeal drapery
For tbe long-sloco dead and gone.
For Um Indian banter beneath his shade
Has rested from tbe chase ;
A nd be here bus wooed hit dusky maid -
Tl»e dark-eyed of her race
And tbe tree la red with the gashing gore
A* the wild «t«i* panting dies ;
But the maid ia goae. and tbe chasa is o ar,
And tbe old oak btausely sighs.
In former days, when the battle's din
Was loud amid the land,
In hla friendly shadow, few and thin,
Hare gathered Freedom's band ;
And tbe stern\>ld oak. haw proud was ho
To shelter bearti thus hears I
But they are all gone — the bold and tree—
And be Moana above their grava.
And the aged oak. with hla locks ol gray,
Is ripe for the sacrifice ;
For the worm and decay, no lingering pray,
Shall ha tower towards tbe akies I
lie falls, ba falls to become our guard,
The bulwark nf the free,
And hla txanm of steel la proudly bared
To bravo tbe raging sea!
When the battle comes, and the cannon'aroar
Dooms o'er tbe shuddering Jeep,
Then nobly he'll bear the hold hearts o’er
i v The warm, with bounding leap.
Oh 1 may those hearts lie as firm and true,
When the war-clouds gather dun,
As the glorious oak that proudly grew
Hcitalb our southern sun.
CcatNO Mkats.—A French cbemis
his lately asserted that scurvy will nev
er arise from the use of nit meat provi
sion! unices aaltpetre tie Used in curing;
the salt alone anawera all the purpotee,
provided the animal heat be entirely par
ted with before aalting He claima
that the insertion of pork in pickle alone
ia not sufficient, but that it should be
rubbed thoroughly with dry ralt alter
it haa entirely parted with its animul
heat, and that then the fluid running
from the meat should he pourod ofl be
fore packing the pork in the barrel.—
This should be done sufficiently close to
admit no unerrsaarv qulity of air, und
some dry aalt should occupy the apace
between the pieces and then pit kin, nnd
not water, should he added. Great cure
must be taken to fill the barrel entirely
full, so that no portion of the meat can
ot any point project above the surface
of the fluid ; for if this occurs a change
of flavor ensues, such aa ia known with
rusty pork. The pickle, of course,
must he a satnrnted solution of Mult
and water, that ia, so strong that it is
incapable of dissolving more salt. It
must Im rememtieied that cold water ia
capable of diaolving more salt than hot
water.
Ministbm I’ndf.r-i'aid.—Dr. Guthrie,
in a late speech, said : "I think all min
isters are underpaid. I am not one
now, and am free to aav so. I hold
that doctrine, and have learnt it from
bitter exjteriunce—all underpaid, every
t.ne of them. 1 woe staling this to a
Free Churchman, who said, *0, hut min-
iitcre should not be rich men. •Myg ood
friend,' said I, ‘no more should any oth
er body.’ I do not want ministers to be
rich, but to lie delivered from I he curse,
und the nightmare, and the distress ot
poverty. I want a man to be able to
walk the street* of the town in which
he livcffand not to be compelled to jerk
round a corner when be sees the butch
er or the baker whose account ia not
paid. 1 asked my friend, 'Do you think
the prayer of Agur wae made only for
mimgtera'—‘Give me neither riches nor
poverty.' I tell you, it was made for
all; and I tell you more, that 1 believe
money would be of more use in the
hands of ministers than of some other
people.”
A Nxw ami» IrrsaraTixa Fact pc Xa
ttbal Histo it .—Father Hue, that fa
rm'll* Hiatholic explorer of the interior
of China, relates that on one of hia long
journey* ernong that strange people hia
caravan embraced an unuaiial number
of Jacks among the donkeys employed
aa carriers of the expedition ; that these
Jacks at every resting place kept up
such an intolerable braying, especially
towards tbe morning, aa to render sleep
impossible to the Abbe; that at last be
complained of tbit to Uio master of the
donkeys, who instantly replied that hia
S radons highness should be no moro
isturbed by this braying; that, sure
enough, a quiet night with its refresh
ing sleep followed, and that on inquiring
into the cause in the morning he was
pointed to the noisy Jacks, each with a
heavy stone tied to his tail. “That,”
said the driver, “is the way wd settle
them. The iackose stands upon hia dig
nity and will not bray unless be can
straighten out bis tail, and with a heavy
stone attached he cao't «ti nighten it otr,
donlyof.Me? Every time he tries It
the weight on hia tail pulls him down
and Vhufff hie jaw.”
i a leap year disking# :
i take my arm?” “Yee,
xi.” “ Can't spare but the
Ae old bachelor. “Then”
1 ab*i t take it, aa my
e whole bog or nothing ’’
mid Heroes of Macon.
BY PAV1D WILLS.
War is tha fearful scourge of nations
The sun, in his majestic circuit through
the Heavens, scarcely shines upon n
spot of this green earth which has not
recoivod a baptism of blood, snd even
the seas and rivers have run red with
the gore of brother men. Away back
in the gray dawn of patriarcal hintoiy
wo read that “ the earth wus filled with
violence,” and in connection with this si
cred narrative " mighty men of renown rt
are mentioned aa the nioiistfoUa itteuc
of the unnatural union between " the
eons of God ” and the “ daughters of
men;” and the circumstantial evidence in
■the oase ia, that these giants gained
much of their renown from their heroic
achievements in battle. The probable
reason that the antediluvian race did
not extend itself more widely over the
world is the heavy waste of that degen
erate population by desolating wars;
xml one of the direct causes assigned far
the Noachian Deluge ia the universal
prevalence of violence among the vic
tims of that tremeodoui Judgment of
the Almighty.
Bat the sudden destruction of the old
world did not destroy tbe spirit of hos
tility and revenge among men, for we
are informed that it revived with the
re-peopling of tha new. it were a bald
truism to state that the Hebrews were
an eminently warlike nation of people.
Tbe Almighty liimealf was the first
Head of the valiant nrmiea of Isruel, and
hence He is repeatedly represented us
the Lord of Hosts. The military prep
arations of the Jews were projected on
a most elaborate and expensive scale,
and tbair innumerable exploits on the
great field of slaughter and ol death
were iruro marvelous and astounding
than those of any other nation under the
sun. The long, sanguinary conflict#
within their own lairdara between the
kingdoms of Israel and J udah, and their
frequent bloody engagements with the
neigboring nations, the Egyptians, Bab-
yloniune, the Greeks, and Itomans, con
Mlilule the chief staph* of Jewish histo
ry. Josephus has won for himself a
lasting reputation by hia comprehensive
and vuluable compilations of the wars
of the Jews. Moses und Joshua were
diviuely commissioned to command the
Inraulitish hosts iu their assnults upon
the Ainurites, and in their extirpation of
the L'anaanitua. Gideon, Jcpthu and
Ham|iaon were mighty wurriors, sudden
ly raised up to repel the attacks of bold
invaders during the ny in# of the Judgea.
David, the grout theocratic king, was a
fan.oils chieftain, who won rich trophies
in his military campaigns, and who, be
ing u man of blood, wav duuiud the hon
or of the completion of the magnificent
edifice of thu first temple. The wars of
the Maccabees were eminently holy
wars—the lofty prowess of the Aamo-
neax princes hue formed a new era in
the aouala of uncient warfare.
Tbe advent of the l'rince qf Peace did
not extinguiab tbe spirit or arrest the
ravages of war. He himself predicted
the demolition of the temple by the tri
umph of the Homan arms, and uttered
the sublime and fearful truth, “ And
when ye sbal) hoar of wars and rumor*
of warn, b* ye not troubled; for such
things must needs be.” Constantine
tii* Great, Cburlemnuge, the King of
the Franks, Cengis-Khnn, a monster of
depravity, Churlee V., tho powerful Em
peror of Germany, and Napoleon Ilona-
part*, the great tragedian who made all
Europe tremble boneatb the-tread of hia
mighty armies, have ail been conepiou
oua actors on tbe broad theatre of blood
and carnage. Then the following list
represents the humane heroes ef the
world : Judas, Maccabeus, Alfred,
Wailaoe, William of Orange, Koekius-
ko, and Washington. England and
France, which oiairn to he the moat en
lightened and civilized outions of mod
ern times, have been frequently con
vulted to tbeir centres by intestine feuds
and foreign invasions—have actually
wasted money enough in the systematic
destruction of human hfo and happiness
to adorn the entire globe with the insti
tutions of knowledge and piety. And
our own beloved land, which boasts of
its pure and lolly type of civilization
und Christianity, has been recently the
theatre of a civil conflict, which, for the
magnitude of ita preparations, the wide
extent of i'a operations, and tbe refined
cruelty of its implements, in the atro-
ekius wicaednecs of those who urged it
on, in tbe incalculable sacrifice of blood
and treasure it involved, in the manifold
crimes and miseries it haa entailed upon
society, and in the dreadfully bitter pas-
cions it hss engendered, haa few paral
lels in the past.
There sie two extremes to bo careful
ly avoided in our contemplations on the
moral aspects of war. The one is, that
it is an unmitigated evil, and always un
justifiable in the eye of the moral law.
This is substantially the position of Cur-
!yle, Chalmers, Chunning, John Foster
and John Bright. The other extreme
is that war is a brilliant and command
ing pageant, where the noblest feelings
and sentiment* of human nalu e find
full play, and in which the maddened
actors achieve immortal glory and re
nown. This is the mere poetry and ro
irionce ot n terrific reality. Thomas
Di-Quincy, writing in the spirit of a
true moralist und philosopher, occupies
a safe middle ground in the mutter, and
whikt he d~es not extol the “ poinp and
circumstance of gluricua war,” ho still
fit* which often accrue from it. Ilia val
uable paper on the subject presents, in
tha moat philosophical and humorous
manner, ita true functions in the wide
field of history—its controlling power
as an element of Christian civilization.
We have Divine authority for saying
that war has its birth place io the Ikikui
passions of man, nnd human reading
nnd observation tench that Ita result*
rarely determine the justice or injustice
of the oauae of tho belligerents, und that
it shakes and prostrates tho moral pil
ing of society, *s the rouring tempest
does the noble trees of the forest. The
late war between tho Btataa has pro
claimed the oorrectnew of these conclu
sions in a voice of thunder.
On the other hand, war is an unavoid
able ntcessity in the present civil nnd
moral condition of mankind, as inertia
hie aa poverty, suffering, lubor, servi
tude, pestilence, and deutli. The rod
home iu Kuvolition ia represented aa
marching abreast with thu uhite mi l the
iMenfc horso. One of the finest thoughts
of the master of the modern drama is,
that the tree of humanity must some
times be lanced that it may attain ita
full beauty and glory. The volcano of
popular passion must pour forth its lavu
floods amid the fire and thunder of bat
tle, or it will heave the mountain of pub
lic moral* asunder, and bury the race
beneath the ruins. Accordingly, the
catholic resolutionaof Peace Congresses,
the wholesome restraints of internation
ol law, and all tho humanising influences
of education, commerce and civiliKAtion
combined are inadequate to provost tbe
soil plains of Cures and tho deep domin
ions of Neptune from being dyed With
the blood of Bulimia and Mum.
2. Wnr is the last Rational remedy
for aggression and oppietwiun. Indi,
viduuTs have milder modes of redress-
but injured and insulted nutioi.s are
forced, as a final i esort, to appeal to
arms. Wicked and oppressive nations
must have tbeir punishment here, ins*
much as they buve no existence hereaf
ter. Defensive war* are doubtless jus
tifiable on every principle of reason und
religion.
3. War is a part of the providential
history of the world which is overruled
for good. In itself considered, it I* an
evil, but we must not forget tlint the
Supreme Ruler employe it a* one of His
fearful agencies to crush civil nnd eccle
siastical despotisms to dust, and to give
a wider and grander triumph to the
principles of truth and virtue. If the
brilliant Frenchman uttered a noble
truth when he said, " The last analysis
of liberty i* the blood of the brave,” it
i* a sublimcr truth still, thut the glorl
nun Kingdom of Gruco ia built on the
bloody pusaion ol the Prince of Life, and
no tnuxun of History in better establish
ed than that “ the blood of the mnttyrs
is the seed of the Church.” Further
more i* it not one of the cleareat and
most thrilling facta of Scripture, that nl
the great world-powers ura to be over
turned by mighty revolution* before
there can come the dawn of that bright
day which ahull crown creation with a
magnificent diadem of millennial glory,
when the nations hIiuII 11 beat their
sword* into ploughshares, und their
spears into pruning hooks: neither shall
they learn war any more.’
The recent conflict of arms, which
shook the nai ion to its deepest founda
tions, was forced upon tho people of this
section by a proclamation of the Presi
dent of the United States, whose cruel
war policy was approved nnd sustained
by repeated acts of the American Cod-
? res*. The true moral muse of tho
rcadful convulsions which has cost the
country nearly a million of mun and
thousands of millions of monov, may bo
traced back to a species of infidelity
which was originally imported from Eu
rope, and which hud been poisoning the
public mind of the North for a scries of
f enra. The authorltlse at Washington
old the doctrine that the l ederul Gov
ernment ia an empire, and not a repub
lic, that it rest* upon force, and not up
on the a flections of its subjoc s, and it
was by this specious reason ng that they
sought to justify tbe monstrous measure
of coercion. But subsequent events
have shown vary clearly that all the
loud encomiums which were lavished on
tbe glorious union were the merest pre
text to rally fresh troops for tho tented
field, and that tho ulterior object to he
accomplished by the bloody drum* was
to break down the domestic institutions
of the South, and to buil up a powerful
radical party in the whole country.—
Thera was no patriotism and philanthro
py among the leadors, in this tromon
done movement, blit the spirit of ambi
lion, avarice, envy, jsalonsy nnd revenge
was tbe demon of invasion.
The people of the South bad boon
taught a very different theory of the
National Government ly Jefferson,
Madison, Calhoun, and by moat of thu
prominent statesmen of this section.—
From it* very foundation, they were sc
customed to contemplate it as a compact
of sovereign and independent States,
whose final constitutional remedy for
national grievances wae a peaceable
separation from the Federal rule. The
doctrine of State Sovereignty entor* in
to all our elementary conception* of the
American Constitution, and it hud be
come a Battled and sacred conviction io
tbe Southern mind and heart, and those
among us who were slow to believe thin
fundamental political axiom, rushod
bravely to the rescue of “ the land we
love” when they saw their borne*) and
cities, and hamlet* threatened by the
who refused to fight pro aril et pro /veil,
and who fled the country to escape con
scription, have been branded with a
Cain like murk, which time cannot ef
face.
Would it not have been n moBt un
natural and unpardonable thing for a
man who had imbibed the spirit and
principles of Southern institutions to
liftvo occupied a pnssivo position in the
mighty struggle which involved every
thing that was dear to the sons and
daughters of this sunny land ? Ia it sur
prising that the Confcderulo soldiers,
who believed and felt that they were
contending for the honor of their wives,
nnd the bread of their children, us well
aa for the priceless boon of constitution
al liberty, should have fought with a
patriotism attd a valor which compare*
favorably with the proudest deeds of
chivalry from tha hurorio magnificence
or Marathon to the thousand thunders
of Waterloo. Th* very men who arc
now fiercely denounced as rebels and
traitors have startled the civilised world
with the latUo of their martial achieve
ments. If the fortunes of the bloody
field at Gettysburg had been different
the names of Leu and Jackson would be
universally fragrant and illustriou* as
those of Lafayette and Washington.—
The multitude* of our brave brothers
who wont down beneath the red tide of
battle were an acceptable sacrifice to
truth and honor,-and the preoious fruits
of freedom are yet to grow green over
their graves. The principles they died
to save arc not dead, but sleeping be
neath a black mass ot ignorance and
prejudice, and they will rise again aathe
rich inheritance of u free, independent
and happy people. When that day of
charity and reason comes (und come it
must) historic justice will be dono to
the doeds of that long list of Southern
heroes who uro reposing beneath the
dust of the valley, and u brlof sketch of
the life and character of somo of whom
will form the conclusioh of this article.
[To he Continued,]
Waoxs of Farm Labor.—The late
Patent Office Report contains some val
liable statistics in regard to tho rate* of
wages paid to laborers in the United
State*. Them is a singular uniformity
throughout the ooflntry in the amounts
ao paid. Unleaa from some abnormal
cause, the variation between th* Bust
nnd West, is but a few dollurs per month,
Tho averuge rule of wage* for the whole
oountry, us given in tho stutistioul tublea,
is $28 per month, for writo labor, and
$1<1 per month for black. This result is
obtained by careful calculation, ns fol
lows • *• First, the nvoinge monthly wa
ge* in n State in multiplied by the num
ber of farm laborers in such 8tate, and
so with each member of the Union.—
Then thu sum of the aggregate monthly
wsgua is divided by the aggregate num
ber of laborers, giving as a quotient tbe
proper average monthly pay of the farm
lalxiier. There is little doubt of th*
proximate correctness of this estimate,
especially as copious statistical table*
are given, showing the average rate paid
in such State. Tho monthly rate of wa
ges, without board, ir, it appears, in the
different States a* follows !
In Pennsylvania, $20.91: in Ohio,
$28.4(1; Indiana, $27.71; Illinois, $28 -
64. The averago in Maryland fs put at
$20 86, which is, we imagine, somewhat
toil lew an estimate. The high cost of
living in tho Eust lends to enhance the
rats of wage* paid there, while in the
f«r West, us in Nebraska, the scarcity
of laborers effects a similar result. Tho
war, has, of couse, enhanced the rate of
wages, as it has everything else. Skill
ed arris ins and ineihanica reap the frill-
est advantage from this. For brick
layers, pnintrrs, Ac., from three to five
dollars a day ia now paid, and tba men
are hurdly aatisfiad with those rates.—
Tho higher clauses of workingmen aru
beginning to feel and know the powei
of numbers in combination, and the mis
use of the power they undoubtedly poi
sons, in a oountry whose institutions
profess to rest on the will of the rnajori
ty, in one of the greatest dangers to be
guarded pgainst in th* future.—ilary
land Partner.
Early Pio-atom.—The potato de
lights in a coo] and tolerably moist soil,
rich and deep and filled with vegetable
matter We must therefore plough
deep to retain m inture, and select a
northern exposure in preference to a
southern one It in alio necessary to. V I
the productive yield of the potato that j r «» w 8' rl « ■Mug neglected aguinat
the soil should contain an abundance of the wall. Neither ignorance nor tbouirbt-
potash. Whore this ia wunting short | U*aaiioM can bo pleaded in excuse. Wo-
The Oldest City hi (lift Wtii'ld.
Damascus is aaid to be the moat an
cient city in the world. It ia situated in
Asiatic Turkey, in Syria, on a beautiful
plnin at tha eastern baa* of the Alltl-
Libnniis rang* of mountains It is six
miles in circumfWehKri and surrounded
by a dilapidated wull. It WrtO uu impor
tant place in th* days of Abraham, nnd
while kinga raigned over Israel, the re
gion around the city formed h kingdom
To a truveler approaching it, it uppeara
remarkably beautiful.
Tho Arabs regard it tin olio of their
four terrestrial paradises. It is said
that rb Mohammed looked upon it, ho
exclaimed, tliut aa man could have hut
one puradise, he would not eulcr it, lest
lie enould have none above. Julian de
scribes it as "the great nnd sacred Da
mascus, surpassing every other city,
both in the beauty of its temples and
the magnitude of its shrines.” Addison
describee it sh one of the most magnifi
cent prospects in the world. It is to us
rendered memorable by the conversion
of the Apostle Paul. Tho house to
which he was led, when he entered the
oity blind, and the house In which Ana
nias lived, are still pointed out to stran
gers ns anoient curiosities. A recent
traveler, who visited it, says :
We Ulled along over a "dry and
thirsty land,” until we crime to the
brink of a mountain overlooking the
plain of Damascus. There we saw such
u sceno of spleudor ns men can sco no
where else. The whole plain was groen
and golden in its mass of luxuriant veg
etation, kindled by the afternoon sun.
“The Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Da
mascus," ate bountiful streams. They
are the agent* by which so much ver-
dure and beauty are brought out on
wluit would e'so be an arid plain. Out
of tho donso mass of foliuge rose the
towers and minarets of Damascus, with
a soft, mriul sort of graco. It was alto
gether a eceno of remarkable splendor.
Descending to tbe plain, we found
our tents pitched by tbe side of tho
Abiiua, in the Merj—a greon field cele
brated in the " Arabiutt Nights.''
Damascus needs distance to lend "en
chantment to th* viow." When you
outer its riokoty gates, the illuaion is
dispelled. You flud gloomy, mud
houses, narrow lanes, filthy and blocked
up by dogs—in many places evon these
nui row lanes are covered from the sun
light by mat* or branches of trees
stretched nboVo from hoUatJ- to bouse.
Tho bazaars are a ouriosity. Every
trade bus its own department. T'hero,
still as etntues, mon sit on littlo carpets,
in small stalls, waiting until Providence
Bands them * customer.
The narrow lnnea which run through
tho hussar* are crowded by men, wo
men, dogs, dnnkios, mules, horsen, cam
els—and, In fact, every thing that hath
legs. “ Going shopping ” in such places
ia not n serene sort of reorentiou. You
are constantly alarmed by somo donkey
or came* driver shouting, " take cure 1”
" look out I” eto.
Little of the ancient Damascus re
mains. The present city is built on a
heap of debris from tho former periods.
Here and there un old arch, or a few
broken pillar* alone testify of what sort
wu* the DumaHou* of antiquity. Exca
vators have found houses of the olden
tirno at a depth of thirty feet below the
present surface. Tho present Walls of
the city are mostly of Suroconic make--
patched up * good dual in tha slovenly
stylo of the Turks.
After all there ia nothing in the his
tory of Damascus to be compared with
the conversion of 8t. Paul, for duep nnd
abiding historic interest. '1 helling* and
warriors of the proud city—we scarcely
remember their nitmea; but th* myste-
rous change in thu character of Paul,
which occurred yonder on thu pluln, in
sight of tho city, is on evoot of vital im-
iNirtnnce in the destinies of the world
Ho we thought mostly of Paul while go
ing uloug the " street called straight.”
J. A. D.
Marrlcit Women mid Maids.
The Imperial Review is troubled with
the nueatiou whether tnarriod women
should dance, and it express#* it* opin
ions in a long article, from which we
make an extract. It says :
There is something nlmiwt unseemly
in the apectaole of a half dozun young
married women, walking off with some
of the beat partners in tne room, while a
crops are inevitable. The neccasury pot
ash may be supplied by wood uslics
when these cun bo bad, or by a com
post of wood ashes and woods’ mould or
marsh muck, to which one sixth part of
barn-yard monuro may be added to
quioken and reduced by fermentution in
the mass.
After the soil has been deeply plough
ed, it should b* made as friable ns pos
sible by frequent borrowings, for the
more finely it is pulvorized the more
freely will the delicate fibrous roots ram
ble in search of food.—Mapland Farmer.
" It ’’ is " He.”—A correspondent of
the Dayton Ledger, who professes to
know ail about Burnham, the man-wo
man of Broudhead, Wisconsin, indig
nanlly denies the abortion of another
letter-writer that that interesting phe
nomenon is an “ it.” Tho Ledger's in
formant protests that E-lga r alia* Ellen
Burnham is und always has been a “he,”
but failed to discover the fact himseli
until after bi* marriage to another mun.
men thoroughly know women, whatever
else they may know ; and thoro is not
one of them that ia not vividly conscious
of what heart-burning it causes to a poor
girl to hear the music and watch the
many twinkling feet of a ball-room, and
play the almost ignominious part of pas
sive spectator. Growa-up women clutch*
ing at all the toys and sweetmeats of a
Christmas-tree ut a juvenilo party, would
not be a more unnatural spectacle*—
Grown up msoeagor to win tbe stakes at
a round gamo got up for lads borne for
the holiduy, would not bo more cruel or
inhuman. We are constrained to plead
for tenderness and consideration on the
part ot young women who are married
toward young women who are not.—
Might not Sidney's words, who handed
the draft of wutor tc tho dying soldier,
nt Lutzen, bo profitably ramumbured ?
•'Thy need is greater than mine.”
Mrs. Stonewall Jackson, it is
sttid/haa received $15,000 from th* tale
of her husband's lifc.
A. Head Ex poses tile Kn-Klax
• Klnn.
City Mom, }
(Wnfcii it is in New Orleans,) J
April llth. )
I havo joined 'om. I am a K. K. K.
felluh I run the risk of dying some
day, (or nighty but l am going to un-
bosom myself und miiko it bubfin expooc
of tho K. K. K .’a Pro hono putiieo.
Once upon a time, when night bad
spread her sable miiHtilla d*hf the fcnrth;
nnd pinned it with a moon, I went tfl
bed. People olten go to bad ot night,
with the exception of tho K. K. K.'*,
who no Ver go to bud and who never
sleep. They ImVe ours, but thoy nee
not | they have eyes, blit they hear not.
The clocks on the cupola of the CFw-
cent oflico bud tolled forth the hour of
.12 ; the stuffed owl in the Crescent City
Museum had gone te rooet ; the etatae
of Henry C!o)> PepDMd Ih alienee in a
perpendicular poaish ; tho anttkes had
ceased their croaking, the frogs their
biting, the mosquitoes had begun hum
ming, and "all went meriy as a marriage
belle”—to her hush I I was sleep!..g in
my oouch of oouchea like a June bug
in January, but I did not anoro. 1 Mover
snore. Everybody would do it ( I pre
sume, if it was fashionable. Hut to ra-
sume.
As I laid, it was past midnight, nnd I
wna dreamnig of ray country seat, (a
stool with 8 luge), when I was atnrtled
suddonly by a cold, clammy, shrimpy,
hand upon my forward. I awoke and
rose up in bed to discover a figuro
clothed in white sitting upon my bad.
He (I suppose ho was a hoi held In his
right hand a roman oandle burning blue
and in hia loft a sky-rocket; his eyo»
wore glaring balls of red fire, nnd bo
had 2 horns in his forehead, besides
■everal which he had taken in his mouth.
Aa I awoke be waived tho torch three
times around his hoad and beckoned,
like Hsmlet'a ghost, for me to follow
him. 1 aroae from my bod and followod
-entirely in white f He led roe through
winding steels, up dark alleys, and fl
Daily brought me to th* gravoyard. All
this tiino he had never, Tor a moment,
taken bis eyes of fire off of me. Am
rived io the oanter of the grnVoyard,
beside an unburied skeleton between
two thorn bushes, he ahot off hia rocket,
and glaring upon me, said t
"Mortuary mortal, I coma from the
bloody don of the bob-tailed scorpions.
I atn 'the chiofaat among 1,000, and the
I altogether lately." You aeo here bo-
fore you tho apootre of the Great Tribe
of tho Donionlao Deathly Dragons, I
am sent to warn, to dofy to dt'ttg )roti to
danger. Sioo tho scorpion’s tongue has
hissed ; 8ine the dirge of death is done;
Mice the bloody grave has gaped I Be
hold !”
I looked, and aaw in letters of blood
upon tho skeleton before me, and sur
rounded by lettdiB of fire—
MAD l.£f
(Illustrated by coffins and dnggara )
I gnllad in horror, and exclaimed, io
nutrified aosetits, "t believe ye, my
boy 1” and fainted.
When I recovered myself (and my
wallet), I found that I was transported
to a subtorranean dungeon beneath Ur
re firms. It had all the appearance of
a place thut was worse than The place it*
oeif ! Thoro were blue lights, blue fel
I era nnd blue flames.
Even “the lights burned blue.” The
4going paragraph states that. Jiff/
paragraph going might stato the same
tiling
Brightly tho "taller drip" candles
"shone o'er (throough) fare women and
brave mon I”
Whan I had been taken Inside this
dungeon, I felt that I was dqne I I
introduced to n hard crowd in hard
times. They formed around me (the
crowd and not the timos), and in a
deep, sepulchral lone that shook tbe
cave, said :
"W bunco cornea thin mortuary mortir-
a), and is he trooly rural T”
My conductor answered fur me, and
said in tones of thunder (and light-
ning):
"Ho can keep a hotel; h* can aiog
like a martingale, swim like a •ngoT,
gamble on the green, and is loll to tho
corps I"
"Let him pass,” said the tycoon, who
thought I hadn’t a "full hand."
I passed, and found myself in th* in
ner chamber, whuro I saw nothing but
thunder, tbe yells of demons aud tho
rattling of ohain*; 1 heard nothing but
lightning, tbe flssh of gunpowder and
the last ditch, and I dreamed the
dreams of the d(un)roary 1
A mangled corpse stood upon * py
ramid of skulls, and bolding in hia right
hand a coffin and in bi* left band a (pris
tine man) a coughin' two, he eiolamed:
"Mortal—I am the Bloody Butcher of
the Bogus Blunderers of Bubylon.
Swear to keep our secret*, or dye.”
As I didn't care to dye, I swore.
Then I was teetotully surrounded by
demons as looked like devils, not on* of
whom bought their shirts at Moody’s,
who shrieked :
He swears by the fiery flagon found
in ferocious furnaces furnished by fullers
from Feliciana that he docs not, never
did, and never will again, so help him
Fulis I”
I was then stabbed by n amnll aword
which wna held in tho hands of every
demon in pantcluts around me, then
drug Red, boiled in a cauldron, set upon
a hot gridiron, alid down a gang plank,
wulk*d oror cakes of iee, mutilated in
<til)e (Cutl)bert CAppeat.
, -j. - ■--- i' i^r -l ■ ».—B L .
RATH8 OF ADVERT IB! NO i
On* dollar par iqnnre of tap l(a*a fbr Ik# Aral ia
khu per squar
in, not tlkeedlng thrra.
hontkl.i;..; ;...;..$•
ill'; HID
and scslped I
I was dragged through tubular boil
ers to the tune of the Kogue'y Search;
•tripped to the snit ef clothes' in wbicii
I WhB bofh; bbwdsred to atoms, and
told that I had a mission to nerfbrm tt/
all outside barbarisms—which it was to
annihilate every living thing, and tw kill
every decade-menibbr of society. 1 kffi!-
•eeded.
" Do you aw* ar P’
"Iawear.” V -Ji i.'Jj-, a
I waa then clothed with nnbilimentif
of frhd| thrust into a ubn of,worms will/
only 1 bottle tif Mrti WinpjloW’s flqqth'-’
ing syrup, and tolu U> hwait the aotion
of tho impeachment committee.
A Lxa Lost foe Lpva.—A Frflfloh pa
per gives the following account of a
branch of the "leg ousinoa^!'
•sums to have esoaped Miss Olive Lo
gan’s observation :
An English Lord fell madly in lovl
with a young lady who hid, Jostj a fpfl
by amputation. He fell on hia knee*
and laid at her feet—or rather at her
foot—his titles and hia fortune. 8ho
doclined. "Why, ob, wby ?” asked the
enamored Poer. "Because such n mar-,
riage would be uneaqual, and uneaqiiM
marriages are always unhappyT$
Peer prdtWated that there Was tio ine
quality . Hia weltih and Nation were
ua naught oomparod to her lov*. ^
we are uneaqual,” calmly said th$
maiden. "Hqw, dearest—bow ?” trari-
tically asked the Peer. "Our standing
is not the same.” To which tbe ^nanv-
orod Peer said, "Noneenae.” Th'd
maiden presented, snd proved but cor
rectness by the fact that, he naif tWd
legs while she hn‘(f but on*. He ^btllF
rushed away, n'ot to suiqide, but to' am
putation. He rpturnea hobbling, hot
a happy man; for the maiden aoqipUa
him, aud they will limp tnrough life crip
ples but companions.—New York Coni'
mercial
B&u In hia "Norwood,” Mr. Beicbsjf.
put* into tbe mouth of "Unole J5b,
these apt sayings about classical' educa
tion:—Well, Ruben, fail grad pat* ihtf
summer. What next ? Y^hi*
you going to do ? You are pretty Well
stuffed with trash. It will take seVofoI
years to forget what /ou ought hot td
have learned, and to get rid 1 oT th4 evil
effect* of ibdlish inatiuction. B|it that
will corao pretty much of itself. Oql-
lego learning is very mtltJh like snowj
flud the more a man has of It, tfii Wsfl
oafl the soil prodfico. It's tfbt tilt praa-
tionl lifo melts it that the ground yields
anything. Men get over it Quicker iff
some kinds of business thntl m others (
Tho ooiiege sticks tongttti on ministers
and sohoolmasthisl next to inwyhrsf
not much to doctors | and none at all to
merchants and gbntleWefl, YWf haffi
nfluid to be a gcntlem'afj, and ao you
must cboosd among other callings;”
$9» A little fellow of some throe abnf<
mere had preeented to him three littid
sugar dolls. Aa hs bad olroady stuffed
more than waa proper, hie mamma: flJraW
him promise that he would eat no matt.
A solemn engagement was entered intd
to this effect, but In a few momenta thd
mother discovered thaf onK of th'e dolM
was gone. She scolded, and received
the following irresistible explanation :
"I Was Obliged to cat one up. Therd
was' the.papa, itfh rftatfl'rffa ana the lit 1
tie boy.”
"Well, why should yon oat one ?” .
'<TW littlo btfy Was Be disobedient 7”
1.4? '
$4“ A Very smart boy on bia retufrt
froth college, attempted to proV* tbift
two wore equal to three. Pointing id
a roasted chicken on the table, he aaid i
"la not that one?” and thin point
ing to another i hbt that tvVo 7
and do nbt 6ho and two make three f *
Whereupon hi# old dad aaid: " Wif#^
you take one and III Uke tho other/and
out smart boy can h'aVe the iMrd for hi*
dinnef.”
..I im—i i m -.w.-am
A Burtmtf 8tory.-£A distressed add
aged lady in 4bli city offered to sell he*
gold watch to a United States oflicur.-*
This waa her luet mean* of obttolMttff
money to buy bread. The officer took tbd
watch and aaid that he would have it
valued. Oh the following day th* huM
rooieved an anoiWnlfotff rote, iW wbVCh!
there wae a worn or two' of respeoinr!
athy atfff 4arm g66d feeffflrg
.... this note wa# a small package o6b*
taining tbe gold watch and two hhW-
dred defiara. And this tale haa its
al I—CktfltiMn If nbt.
—tt
10* An enterprising undeffarCf
sent tho following excesstvely oool dot#
to a eick man :
"Dbar Bfa—Having [K»itiVe ftojf
that you are rapidly appt’o'ocbing dWalhrs
gate, I have thooght it not iflrpftfdent
to call yoor attention to tbd eflbloied ad
vertisement of my sbudant "took of
ready made coffins, and make the sug
gestion that you' signify ter 1 tour friend*
n desire for the purchase of yott f/lfrh
al outfit at my establishment"
_ We think that Gen. Grant} fade*
eidodly more unpai«Cable to the people
since be wae roattea by President
Johnson thaff be was when faw. Prf*
bably he waa ovOi'done—Prentice.
„A little girl sacking celestial mfof-
1 ler Mother*, “Have angr’
“Certainly, my cbiti
motion, asked^ner mother*, “Have angola
?” "Certainly, my child.”
did they want a ladder to get
got wings?”
1 Then why did
d W. to Juonb ? 1
Mother—"Nelly put that oh fid to bed. ’*