Newspaper Page Text
THE leading tailors
OF
Chattanooga, Tennessee,
730 Miarlcet Street.
old saw reads that “A NEW BROOM SWEEPS
CLEAN” Even so, the same applies to a
>T e w Candidate for* IPnblic Favor.
0 ; stoc k is NEW and GLEAN with all the NOVELTIES
Of THE SEASON, and at prices that are in the reach of ail
those that wish to dress well at
1 moderate prices.
We make a good Business Suit to order for $20,00.
A good pair of Trousers for $5.00 and upwards.
Overcoats at $20.00 and up.
When you are in Chattanooga don’t fail to call and see us
Atwater Tailoring Co.
Septem
iter 22, 1892-3m.
One to Welcome Him.
An amusing story is told of a well
known and popular young minister
ffho returned from a vacation spent
in Europe to bis liome in Brooklyn,
on Prospect lieiglits. The ship on
ffhicli he hud sailed was not expected
to arrive until Sunday night or Hon-
(Iny and as quarantine was at that
! tjjne difficult to pass there was
thought to be no possibility of the
dominie reaching home sooner than
expected. His wife felt no hesitancy,
L therefore, in going out. to make a
I ft call, leaving the hoggin the care of
anew servant on. Saturday, with in-
‘ actions to tell any one who called
inquired for the say
t he would _ he home ‘ Monday,
curried on by favorable, winds and
. currents thr steamship, jim; arrive,
I .and in the afternoon, expecting.
t take his family by surprise, thfe mih-
i isier ran'up the stoopDf Jiig iesidence=
| and rang the, bell. The Servant in
onse to the’ summonst)
r a few/ inches and '
3 is outpfir.
tfeedoctor. " „i*B
“They are all out
wont he home until 1
Somewhat taken hack
that he was some one
Jp • • A *-*- "— m w
•ktssaici; "I am tiie doctor,
pushing by the girl entered' the
house. Then, as the story goes, there
tegan a game of follow your leader
which was extremely embarrassing
to the minister. Wherever he went
the servant, who was not convinced
of his identity, followed, until finally;
in a fit of desperation the young
divine left the servant in sole posses-
aon and went around the comer to
wit for his wife to come and intro
duce him to the new acquisition to
the household. —Brooklyn Eagle.
She Knew McGiiity.
One day in my wandering along
the Clover fork of the Cumberland
liter, I stopped at a 'farmhouse to
get dinner, and as I sat in the shade
of the porch waiting, I was whistling
for lack of thought and something
the to do, the reading supply of the
establishment being painfully short,
lit hostess was knocking around in
side. getting the dinner ready, and
evidently heard my sweet and gentle
] melodies, for she stuck her head out
d the door.
, ‘‘bo yer whistle by note, mister?”
she inquired, “er—jist simultaneous-
HeP
“Most simultaneouslike,” I re
sponded. laughing.
“I never keerd them chunes
dore.' she went on, “an I kinder
kd an idee they wuz hook chunes
■y fotoutferextry.”
■ ’Vti, no, ‘T assured her; ‘ ‘they are
maw little bits from the popular
the day that everybody whis-
'•Sthat so:" she asked in surprise,
-haint never keerd ’em up this
^ Qa t's tlier names?”
„ r '' e ^ ‘Comrades,’ ‘Annie Rooney,’
%gie Murphy's Home,’ ‘Ta-ra
l/; 1 ' ‘McGinty’ and so forth,
•“tot you ever bear of McGinty?”
™*Jmme thoughtful.
s the name?” she inquired.
' like ezuf I knowedit.”
cGmty. I repeated slowly, and
^brightened.
s ^° exclaimed, Iknowed
- j e] ,t. but somehow I couldn’t
Cmu w ^ ar ^ longed. Ain’t he
i ywr that they named the tariff
Hi d n
; 1 " as ttn( l went in to din-
■"betroit Free Press.
A Little Patience Required.
A lady who was staying at a sum
mer hotel beckoned impatiently to
the head waiter in the dining room,
and said to him: “What is the mat
ter with our waitress? She forgets
half of my orders and dashes about
so nervously that I can’t eat. I wish
you would give us some one who
knows how to wait on a table.”
“Well, now, Mi's. Van Horn,” said,
the head .waiter, “T should like to
.give—that girl a chance. She is
smart and pleasant and a good girl,
and I think you will like her when
die gets used to the work. Just now
she’s got wliat I call hotel fright.”
‘Hotel fright?”
the 'work
multitude of
member • and ;
watched
red at first at the
lgs she has to re-
and at •"being
ableful
RATTLESNAKES are
Five Times Bitten, bat Not Beady to
Abandon His Vocation.
The popular idea is that a rattle
snake is a curse to mankind and of
absolutely no use, except possibly to
give the male contingent in camping
and picnic parties an excuse for pro
viding a well known serpent bite
antidote. Andrew Akers, a white
haired ex-miner, who occasionally
comes to town from his lonely home
away up in the San Bernardino moun-
teins, tells us that the rattlesnake is,
in its way, a blessing to mankind.
“I reckon I ought to know some
thing about the serpents, ” said he the
other day, “for I have earned the
whole living of myself and wife for
several years in catching rattlers and
getting the oil out of them. I know
some folks are mighty scary about
rattlesnakes, and for one who don’t
know about the critters’ ways it is
pretty risky business—getting fanged
by a rattler. I occasionally get nerv
ous among the rattlers, but I have to
keep a steady nerve and quick eye in
my business.”
The old gentleman tells us that he
had always heard how valuable pure
rattlesnake oil is, and that several
years ago he got the oil from a dozen
snakes that he came across in his
woodcutting operations in the moun
tains. When the summer was over
he had twenty ounces, and got two
dollars an ounce for all of it from a
Los Angeles druggist. He has since
made a business of hunting rattle
snakes up and down the mountain
sides and through the canyons. He
catches from 150 to 200 snakes in a
summer, and generally gathers from
$300 to $400 worth of oil from them.
The market price for the product is
two dollars an ounce, and there is
little fluctuation. Rattlesnake oil is
used in rheumatic cures and in oint
ments for some skin diseases. The
oil. when sold has a pearly white
color and is free from any odor. It
tastes much like tallow. A good
sized rattlesnake will furnish from
one to two ounces of oil.
“How do I catch the snakes?
Well, that is easy enough. I wear
hoots up above my knees so as to
protect me from any rattler I may
tread upon, and I always go with,a
strong forked stick or club in my
hand. I have to keep my wits about
me constantly, and to think quick
when I am in a snake locality and
hear a rattle. I always try to get
the rattlers by putting the fork of
jny stick over their neck as quick as
a flash, and then I have the critter
where.,^ want him. I next
:e by pressing my
A WEEK’S DOINGS IN
STATE.
THE EMPIRE
Cream of the Nbwb Carefully Collected and
Condensed into Short Paragraphs for
Citizen Readers.
A. prominent, capitalist of Lowell
Mass., is in Augusta trying to select
site for a knitting mill.
Mrs. Tabitha Jones, of Richland
broke an egg the other day and was
surprised to find that it contained three
yelks.
The cotton is nearly all harvested in
some sections of Southwest Georgia
and good judges say there is not over
a half crop.
E. R. Jernigan, of Doyle, says
whirlwind stripped the harness from
one or his horses entirely without dis-
turbing the animal driven by his side
Charles Hampton, while quarreling
with his wife at Griffin, snapped a pis
tol at her. It fired and she is danger
ously wounded. He claims it was ac
cidental.
A Mr. Bass, a contractor from Au
gusta, mysteriously disappeared from
Greensboro recently, and it is thought
that he ha3 been murdered. Two ne
groes are under arrest, without, how
ever, any evidence against them.
Bainbridge Democrat: Preset indi
cations are that Decatur county will re
alize nearly or quite $500,000 from her
tobacco crop. We raised about 3,500
acres, which averaged about 400 pounds
to the acre; and as it is selling now at
32 to 40 cents per pound all around the
calculation is easy and simple.
It is said that Sid Phelan, of Atlanta
has sold his farm near Kirkwood to
syndicate for a handsome price. Mr
Phelan told a gentleman that lie sotd
for $1,000 an acre. The farm contains
about 200 acres, which would make the
price for the farm $200,000. It is un
derstood that the syndicate will build
up a suburban town.
Ed. Fulcher, of Burke county, has
gathered eighty hales of cotton from
eighty acres. He has ninety-five acres
of corn that will yield 1,200 bushels
In addition to this he has raised au
abundance of peas, potatoes, etc. He
also runs a number of plows on shares
One of his tenants has made on $ one
v?.
horse farm 29 bales of cotton.
a Wallis’ Reasoning.
^A’ a - wliat is dynamite?” asked
|
kts ex plosives for?” the boy
powerful explosive,” re-
J blow thing
Z 1 guess
up,” was the an-
said Wallis. “She’s
all the time.”—Har-
your
S%4i“ ral ’n"' Sti0n ‘
llirow U P
JW-ir' 6 Us ^ 0ur money.
d 0 , can 1 do that, you
imagine I am a con-
’’i Pacts n, cau m y nose into
^Pockety-Life.
was recently sold in
and hV ’. u * Ul( i gone around the
le Sey enty-two postmarks.
aboutjher again ?
“Some of our best waitresses have
hotel fright at first lb badly that
they are entire failures for a few
days.. Then they get hold of their
work,'ancl we never have any more
“Airfr this isn’t peculiar to the ho
tel business. I’ve seen new clerks
needing patient treatment for store
fright', and—hut' there’s Emma,
will go and speak to her,” and the
philosophical head waiter hurried
away, leaving Mrs. Van Horn a
wiser and more patient woman.—
Youth’s Companion.
For Eczema and Ringworm.
Ichthyol and resorcin are two
drugs that have received the general
approbation of the medical world,
and for eczema and ringworm they
are not excelled. These two drugs
have had doubtful popularity in the
past, but of late years they have
come more and more into favor as
antiseptics and remedies for certain
forms of skin troubles. But the
drug that is of the greatest interest
to those who would have good skins
is the microbe destroyer and disin
fectant known as hydrogen dioxide.
This remedy was first used to bleach
the skin white, and to remove power
ful stains that had eaten into the
skin. Discolorations of the skin
caused by powder, potash, sulphur,
and aniline dyes are removed the
easiest with this drug.
The discoloration of the finger
nails, which is natural with. some,
m be removed by application of
this medicine. An instance is re
corded of an actress who entered a
sulphur bath without removing tae
cosmetics from her face, and she
turned so black that she was not pre
sentable for a long time, but an ap
plication of the hydrogen dioxide
removed all the stain and color im
mediately. This drug is also a great
microbe destroyer, and it is used
with great success in boils, abscesses,
ulcers and similar troubles.—Yankee
Blade. .
No Fire Engines iif His.
Mr P Remium, the big dry goods
merchant whose place of business
has been burned out three tunes m
one yeS, and who has built himself
a $200 000 house since the last fire,
hnrl made arrangements to locate m
a fine new building in S’teenth street,
but canceled the lease immediately
£ discovering that there were *
hook and ladder company, two watei
SrTSte ta some neighborhood
for a ij 6 disturbed by
noises of the fire de-
New York Herald.
A Clover Answer for » Bo >''
Ayoungmanof eigM^none^
city missions, w trwhat ^ a
an answer, being as - John
forerunner m the s f e “ erunner) sai d,
the Baptist was ^ think a
“I don’t know, but I sn
Now is the time to subscribe.
alive, except human beings. Once
in awhile I get the rattlers by
smashing them in the head, but
don’t like that way, for it’s more
dangerous and the oil is not so good.
“Have I ever been bitten? Yes,
five times, and I suffered so much
the last time that all the money on
earth would not induce me to be
poisoned so again, That was four
years ago, and I can feel pains from
it to this day. I don’t believe any
one ever fully recovered from a dose
of genuine rattlesnake poison. It i»
the most awful stuff on earth,
have seen great big cows die of a
drop of the poison in an hour’s
rime.”—Pomona (Cal.) Progress.
Some Very Ancient Pins.
Among the remains of the lake
dwellers of Europe have been found
bronze pins and bronze brooches, in
which the pin forms the prominent
feature, many of which are highly
ornamented and very beautiful. A
few copper and one iron pin have
also been found. It is estimated that
10,000 pins have been collected^; the
lacustrine station of Switzerland
alone. A few of these pins have
double stems, and were probably
used as hairpins. Three have been
found at Peschiera, which are ex
actly the same in form as the safety
pins of the present time.
Among the single stemmed pins
are many ingenious devices for pre
venting the spike from passing en
tirely through the cloth or other
material it is used for fastening to
gether. Many of them are so formed
that they are thicker in some places
than in others. A large number,
both of hone and bronze, have the
head formed of' a loose ring passed
through an eye in the pin. A few of
them have the appearance of the
scarf pins now in use.
In Egypt pins with gold heads have
been discovered, while ancient Ro
man bronze pins and bone hairpins
with ornamental heads have been
discovered among the relics of Pom
peii.—Washington Post.
Testing a Dover in the Metropolis.
A woman recently tested her lov
er’s devotion in a ridiculous way.
It was more whimsical than thatiof
the beauty who flung her glove to
the lions and ordered her knight to
pick it up, and decidedly more ab-
from the Battery to Four
teenth street with a soda water bot
tle as a scarfpin, and I’H marry you
tomorrow!” said she. He <Ld. She
kept her word.—New York Press.
•What Was Eeft.
Young Mamma—Did you have a
nice time at the picnic?
Little Johnny-Nice enough cept
at the lunch. I was rowin and didn t
get back in time.
“My poor angel!
^^es?? 1 Everything hut the things
you sent ’em.”—Good News.
And was every-
Recently an accident occurred at Mr,
Gilleland’s saw-mill, which he is oper
ating eight miles northjrf Dawsonyfile.
standing near the saw which became
deranged and threw out a scantling
striking Mr. Mathews on the breast, in
flicting injuries from which he died
Tom Watson is making the most in
cendiary speeches ever heard outside
of the anarchist circles in Chicago and
New York. Really, says the Augusta
News, such talks as lie is making to
the negroes in his district would not be
tolerated in those cities. He urges
them to go to the polls on election day
prepared to kill all democrats who in
terfere with them.
The legislature to be elected two
years hence will elect a successor to
Senator Colquitt. Already the friends
of a number of gentlemen are suggest
ing them as candidates. It is said that
Gov. Northen, Hon. H. G. Turner,
Hon. J. H. Blount, Hon. A. O. Bacon,
Hon. F. G. duBignon, Hon. L. E_Gar-
rard and others will be actively in the
race. There is no danger of the State
not being ably represented.
A young man named Walter Webb,
living in the upper part of Jackson
county, died a few days ago and his
physicians pronounced it a clear case
of death from hydrophobia. He was
never bitten by a dog, but last spring
a large dog that was known to be mad,
attacked him in the road and reared up,
putting his feet on the breast of youn.
Webb, and he inhaled the breath of the
dog, and one of his feet scratched him
on the breast. This is the only way
he could have been poisoned by the do:
‘Major” Goff, of Thomasville, has a
chair and sideboard that are interesting
relics of earlier times. The chair was
made in 1788 and the sideboard in 1769.
Their ancient workmanship is at once
detected in the rough but substantial
appearance. The furniture was brought
to Thomasville by “Major” Goff’s an
cestors when they emigrated to that
place from the mother state, old Vir
ginia. The journey was made by pri
vate conveyance. The chair is kept in
the major’s little weather house across
from the depot, and when there are no
trains to flag he rests in its friendly
seat as his forefathers did over 100
years ago.
An Untimely Deatli.
An untimely death so often follows
neglect of a slight cough or cold. If
Taylor’s Cherokee Remedy of SweeLGunr
and Mullein is taken in time it will pre
vent any evil results. It ernes coughs/ -
colds and consumption.
An average of 9,600,000 kids are
slaughtered every ye*: to furnish a
single manufacturing town in France
with skins. These will make 1,200,000
dozens of gloves.
A clergyman advertising for a
change of pulpit “guaran^to
keep a congregation awake on the
hottest summer’s day.
“I can highly recommend Dr. Bull’s-
Cough Syrup for croup. A^the^best
for several vears and find it tne Best
Jemedy ever tried. Mrs. Hannah Mom-
son, Burlington ,W. Va.
The Devil’s Tower, a Strange Wonder-Work
of Nature in Wyoming.
From the Portland Oregonian.
One of nature’s strangest freaks, one
of the greatest wonders of the world,
is the Devil’s Tower, or as the Sioux
Indians call it, the Mateo Tesee, or the
Bear’s Lodge, which stands on the
banks of the Belle Fourche river in a
northeastern county of Wyoming. The
country for fifty miles around consists
of high table lands, deep canyons and
narrow, fertile valleys—nothing to in
dicate the possible existence of any
such freak of nature.
The tower is a gigantic column, a
monster obelisk of lava, which rises to
a hight of 1,727 feet, almost twice the
hight of the Eiffel tower. At the base
of the huge shaft measures 326 feet
through in one direction. Huge crys
tals of the volcanic rock, measuriu
one to three feet through, start at the
base and run unbroken to the top, giv
ing to the column a peculiar fibrous ap
pearance, even when viewed from the
tablelands forty miles away.
How did it get there ? How was it
made? Once in a while, in the pres
ent age, we have heard how portions of
the bottom of one of the oceans have
been pushed up by volcanic forces, and
even a new island added to the charts.
Ages and ages ago similar volcanic
forces started a jet of lava up from the
bottom of the ancient geological ocean
that covered all the northwest at that
time. The squirt of molten rock
evidently did not break through it
into the waters above, but froze, as
an iron man would say, in the hole
it had made. This slow cooling off,
the gradual loss of its fiery energy,
probably lasted for many long years,
and gave time for the particles to ar
range themselves in the huge crystals
that arouse all of our astonishment to
day.
Strange Bed Fellows.
From the Chicago News.
The spectacle of General Weaver,
presidential candidate of the people’s
party, making a fusion with the repub
lican leaders in Alabama is interesting
to a degree. General Weaver’s party
is organized upon the theory that both
the old parties are corrupt. It main
tains that neither should be entrusted
with the administration of national af
fairs. It is opposed to the republican
party on nearly every national issue.
The democratic party does not go far
enough, .on the most questions, and
whqlly fails to meet the views of the al
ee party on the silver question.
Weaver’s adherents have fused with
the democrats. In those States the cry
is: “Anything to beat the republi
cans.” But South of Mason and Dix
on’s line, where democratic majorities
are as familiar as the cotton crop the
scene changes. There republicans and
the Weaverites come together and write
upon their banners: “Anything to beat
the democrats?"
The facility with which in one State
Gen. Weaver makes a bed-fellow of
one party and in another a bed-fellow
of the other party, while his own party
is based on the assertion that neither of
the old parties is fit to be trusted with
the control of national affairs, is a little
confusing. But he may pick up the
electoral vote of Nebraska and perhaps
of other States by the process.
And, be it remembered, everything
Gen. Weaver may happen to get in the
way of electoral votes is a clear gain
for the general.
Make no Mistake.
When one wants te eradicate every in
dication of malaria from their system,
they are truly wise, and make no mistake
if they will try Dr. John Bull’s
smith’s tonic syrup.
For many years it has deservedly main
tained its reputation as being the most
reliable.of the many
CURES
one sees advertised and sold for the most
annoying and enervating of all malarial
diseases, known as
CHLLLS AND FEVER.
It lias a good and lasting effect, and no
other remedy has ever given such satis
faction. Demand it of your druggist.
Take no substitute on which a larger
profit is made. One bottle will do you
more good than six bottles of any other
remedy, and the relief is always perma
nent. A word to the wise is sufficient.
It cures malaria.
Take Ball’s Sarsaparilla.
Is your blood in bad condition? Do
you feel weak? Do you have pain? Do
sores trouble you? Are you in poor health
and growing worse? Use Dr. John Bull’s
Sarsaparilla. It will make you well and
strong. Do not delay. Give it a trial.
Get it from your druggist. Large bottle
(192 teaspoonfuls) $1.00. to.
They make pearl buttons in the Illi
nois State house of correction, and this
favoring of convict labor in the face of
the mighty tariff on these buttons has
caused much provocation in the Illinois
labor circles. This is one of the things
that is making Illinois doubtful and
adds to the reason why $200,000 have
been taken into the State by republican
hands. But it will need more than
that amount to keep the State in the
republican column.
HAUNTED PLACE IN GORDON
COUNTY.
An Old Federal Burying Ground and the
Strange Stories tliat Einger About Xt.
-Jas. A. Hall in Rome Tribune.
A few miles out from Calhoun where
the road, after zigzagging across a
muddy slough, forks, sending off one
arm towards Rome and the other to
LaFayette, there is a spot around
which wild and uncanny ghost stories
linger like a great black shadow.
Just out of the road, which is al
ways deep with white sand and over
shadowed by a clump of great white-
oak trees, the passer-by will notice
several narrow indentures in the ground,
partly covered with leaves and brush.
Here during the war six Union soldiers,
who were killed in the battle at Lay’s
ferry near by, were buried. At that
time thick oak woods bordered the road
on both sides for a considerable dis
tance, and the burial ground was an
extremely lonely spot. The deep and
gloomy woods, the white sandy stretch
of road, the muddy slough which slip
ped silently through the deep swamp
near by—all gave to the place a sug
gestion of some vague and-undefined
yet terrible preseuce.
There was always some kind of a
mysterious atmosphere about the place,
strange noises were heard in the woods,
uncanny sights were seen in the night
time, and for many years after the war
the spot was dreaded by belated trav
elers in the community.
I well remember what a feeling of
awe came over me the first time I
passed the place in my early boyhood,
many years after the bodies had been
taken up and removed to the national
cemetery at Chattanooga. It was late
in autumn; the silence was oppressive
in the deep woods and the bronzed
fringes of the tree tops stood out against
the cold twilight of a pale November
sky.
One of the stories about the place
tells of a thoughtless negro who sat
down to rest once about midnight on
the roots of the oak which stood near
est the road. Everything was perfectly
still. He was listening for his dogs
when he heard the unearthly scream of
a-great swamp owl in the distant woods.
It was answered by a weird sob in the
tree overhead. The owl called again
and then there was a kind of shudder
in the tree top and every acorn on the
tree, and there were bushels of them,
poured to the ground. The poor old
negro made his way home half dead
A white man, still living in this com
munity, says that one night Re was
passing the place and a great, white
thing in the form of a goose, bu||With
four legs, came out of the woods. TJie
thing walked along -beside his horse ror
several yards and then it stretched up
its long neck even with the man’s face
and glared at him with two great red
eyes. He says it had a face like a
sheep, but made no noise. It leaped
over his horse’s back once or twice, and
shortly afterwards he heard it scramb
ling up a tree near by.
A party returning from a corn shuck-
g one night said all about the place
the ground and trees and especially the
six graves, shone like coals of fire.
A man who was huuting his cows on
a foggy morning lost his way in the
swamp and was wandering through
dense thicket near the spot when he
heard somebody pounding on a loj
with a club. He went towards the
sound and saw an old man in shirt
sleeves sitting on a falling pine. He
called to the old man, and when he did
so a diabolical laugh sounded through
the woods and the strange being was
gone. The man went to the log and
searched in all directions but could find
no trace of any human being.
There are many more stories still
current in the community of the ghostly
appearances, and all of them are full of
wild interest.
Probably the largest serpent of which
actual measurements have been taken
was an anaconda, which Dr. Gardner
found dead and suspended to the fork
of a tree during his travels in Mexico.
According to Dr. Gardner it measured
37 feet in length.
rrri’
“The weakest mus go to the wall,
Salvation Oil, the best of liniments is
bound to outstrip all competitors. It is
good and cheap. 25 cts.
Bishop Brooks’ Wit.
This story they tell of Bishop Phil
lips Brooks, of Boston; and Eugene
Field is one of those who is just now
circulating it. Being adsorbed with
work he instructed his servant not to
admit visitors; but while these orders
were being enforced +he bishop hap
pened to show himself at the front
door, where he recognized an old class
mate. The visitor was taken in cor
dially, much to the chagrin of the ser
vant, who afterward remonstrated with
his master at being treated so. “Why,’ ’
said the servant, “you told me that you
would be so busy that you wouldn’t see
the angel Gabriel if he called.” “Yes,”
answered the bishop, “I did say that,
and I meant it. But there’s alTthe dif-
fereqee in the world between Gabriel
and my friend. I’m bound to see Ga
briel in the next world* but as there is
some doubt about my seeing this man
there, it was only right that I should
see him here, when he took the trouble
to call upon me.”
When the hair begins to come oat in
combing, it shows a weakness' of the
scalp that calls for immediate attention.
The best preparation to arrest further
loss of hair and restore the scalp to a
healthy condition is Ayer’s Hair Vigor.
A violent gesture made by an At
lanta lawyer to emphasize a remark
made during a speech caused a disloca
tion of his arm.
A Mathematical 'Symposium at the Home
of the McSwats.
From tne Chicago Daily Tribune.
Mrs. McSwat—Billiger, how often
do you get shaved ?
Mr. McSwat—About four times a
week, ou an average.
“How much time does it usually re
quire ?”
“About half an hour.”
“Half an hour four times a week !
That’s two hours a week, 4 1-2 days in
a year, and nearly a month and a half
in the years. Think of it, Billiger!
If you should let your beard grow you
would save time enough in ten years
to ”
“But look here, Lobelia! Great Scott!
I don’t want to let it grow. Did you
ever see me with a full set of whis
kers ?”
“No, but ”
“Well, let it be the cause of the
most heartfelt joy and gratitude you
ever experienced, Lobelia, that you
never did! With a full beard, madam,
I look like a cocoanut iu a fit of delirium
tremens. I tried it once, years ago.
Dogs barked at me on the street, chil
dren fled from me in terror, footpads
who caught a glimpse of me by moon
light or the pale, flickering rays of a
street lamp, dropped their sandbags and
slunk tremblingly np the alleys, and I
was offered $60 a week and all expenses
by a dime museum man for ayear’s en
gagement. My portrait was hawked all
over the country as the most hideous ”
“I don’t believe any of that stuff,
Billiger, and I’m sure ”
“Don’t interrupt me, madam. My
beard grows straight out, up, down,
sideways, every bristle for itself, like
the spines on the fretful chestnut burr,
and it grows in every shade and color,
from brindle to vermilion and back
again. If you could see me once with
a hedge fence all over my face yon
would ”
“But think of the lime you lose
iu ”
“The time I lose! Look here ! How
ofteu do you fix your hair ?”
“Every day of my life, of course;
but that’s different.” .•
“That’s different, is It, hey! How
long does it take you to fix it ?” -
“I think you’re just as——
“You needn’t answer. I know how
long it takes. I’ve seen you do it
often enough. It takes you half an
hour every blessed day of your life to
-look after your frizzes, if that’s what
you call them. Think of it! Half an
hour a day,JJxree hours and a half a.
we
entire month in "four y,
year in fortyreight years and
years in a century! Lobi
better go aneftook after thi
FASHIONS FADS.
Evening bonnets for thew&r, evening
calls, etc., a^e seen in violets and roses?
One equistf£^rttte capote recently seen
was niad^ entirely of violets and green
leaves.
Heavy camel’s hair in brilliant colors
will be much worn for short jackets
and cloaks. A pretty one recently seen*
was of bright red camel’s hair with
two capes edged with lynx fur.
A pretty gown for* $jj»ing wear is
of jpale green cashmere, with a berthe
of cream lace falling over the high
shoulders to the waist, where it is met
by an empire sash of'pale green velvet.
Eton jackets covered with a lace-
work of gold embroidery are lovely and
elegant additions to any gown. They
are made with fancy puffs on the
sleeves, and can be worn with any
gown you have.
A Japanese robe of cotton crape,
decorated with a generous oriental de
sign in gold, is a fad now which will
probably^fc-yery popular. These .Japa-ri»
nese cotton*crapes "are very pretty, and 1 '
the colors in which they come are very
lovely.
Elegant cloaks, suitable Jor stout
ladies, who detest, and very* sensibly, -
a tight fitting garment, are of black vel
vet, with tight Watteau back, mili
tary flap sleeves and a vest of satin.
The Watteau back is ornamental with
a plastron of heavy jets, and the caps
of the long angel sleeves have little
iflets of jets,
EPICUREAN MORSELS.
South Americans eat baked bananas'
with great relish.
Some of the South American tribes
actually eat tobacco, cut.into small
pieces. *
Beef is the promoter of good health, ■
good digestion, and with them the fore
runner of good disposition.
Don’t waste cold mntlon. A fine
dish can be presented for the domestic
table when cooked with-macaroni and '
tomatoes.
Veal requires long cooking. As a
rule it is indigestible, and for stomachs-I? ’,
of weak tendencies it should be indulged
in sparingly. The chops, when bread
ed, are excellent, but all veal should-
be well done. <a
Nothing More Dangerous ; *
a neglected cough,” ■ is what Dr.
atmnond, professor in the Eclec-
tric Medical College, says, “and, a§ a pre
ventative remedy aDd a curative agent, I
cheerfully recommend Taylor’s Cherokee ,
Remedy of’Sweet Gum-and Mullein.”