The Eastman times. (Eastman, Dodge County, Ga.) 1873-1888, February 14, 1873, Image 1
VOLUME 1 1
THE EASTMAN TIMES,
TS PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT
Eastman, Dodge Cos., Ga.,
BY
It. S. BTJ It T O IST .
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MffiMiHUHi i ■' mmsav
Professional and Business.
DR.J.H.I ,ASS 1 ER,
Pliysican ami Surgeon,
Offers bis professional services to the p-cople
of Eastman and surrounding country.
Office near Gen. Foster’s house.
1 lv.
L, A. HAXL,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
EASTMAN, GA.
Will practice in th-■ Circuit and District
Courts of the United States, fdr the Southern
I)istrict or Oißiggq llfo Superior Courts of the
Oconee Circuit,'find all counties adjacent to
the M. AB. R. 11. Half fee in advance; con
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THOMAS ILDAWSON,
Attorney end Counsellor at Law,
EASTMAN. GEO.
Atioi'uey sU Law,
Eastman, geor;'a a
<>- C. MOW
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
llawkjxsviu.k, Geo.
O'-'onee Circuit —Court Culcrultr — 1573.
WiDox - 4th Mondays, Man-h and Soplembcr.
i >of .ly 3d Mondays, Mar 'll and September.
Irwin Fridays alter above.
Montgomery—Thins ft ['ter Ist Mondays. April.
Lanr ns—2d Mondays, April and Get paid Get.
Pulaski - 3d Mondays, April and Gctober.
])odf(n —4th Mondays, April and October-
Telfair—Thursdays alter above,
jan 31st, ly.
H. W. J. HAM,
attorney at law,
EASMAX, GEO.,
(Office in Times building.)
Mill practice in the counties of Dodge, Tel
fair, Appling, Montgomery, Emanuel, Laurens
and Pulaski, and elsewhere by special con
tract.
Feb 14-tf.
J. EUGENE HICKS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Mount A evnon, Montgomery Cos., Ga.
Fall into Ranks !
AND MARCH DOWN TO
H. HERRMAN & SON'S,
AND BUY YOUR GOODS AT
Savannah Prices!
Lb 7, 73- ly.
Selected Poetry.
Cling to those Who Cling to You.
There are many friends of summer,
Who are kind while flowers bloom ;
But when winter chilLs the blossoms,
They depart with the perfume.
On the broad highway of action,
Fri nils of worth are far and few;
So when one has proved the friendship,
Cling to him who clings to you.
Do not harshly judge your neighbor,
Do not deem his life untrue,
Tf he make no gr at profusions—
Deeds are groat but words are few.
Those who stand amid the tempest,
Firm as when the skies are blue,
Will be friends while life endnre-th—
Cling to those who cling to you.
When you see a worthy brother
Buffeting the stormy main,
Lend a helping hand fraternal,
Till he reach the shore again.
Don’t desert the old and true friend
When misfortunes come in view ;
For he needs friendship’s comforts —
Cling to those who cling to you.
TSac Coining Woman.
A DIALOGUE FOE GIRLS.
Ist.
Nobody knows how I want to grow,
How I count the days as they come and go,
Wishing and wishing that time had wings ;
For I’ve made up my mind to do great things
When I’m a woman !
I won’t be dull, and faded, and gray,
And drudge in the household from day to day,
Like some of the women I know ;
But I mean to grow fresher every year,
And I'll be so smart that the people here
Shall ask how I manage so,
2nd.
When Tin a woman I mean to show’
What wonderful things a woman can know,
I’ll know French and German to write and speak.
And I'll read all those funny old books in Greek,
Besides what there are in Latin.
I’ll learn all about what they call “high art;’
I'll have the Philosophy quite by heart,
And Trigonometry, too.
I won’t take a minute to work or play,
But I’ll study by night and I’ll study by day,
To show what a woman can do!
3d.
A writer i'll bo. and I'll engage
fU/i v'KinuiLiiat/O.L
And songs to be sung with a good deal of noise,
And marvelous fairy tales,
i know all the children will buy ray books,
tudl’li write some, too, for the older folks,
For the newspapers first, I guess ;
Letters, perhaps, from over the sea,
To tell the strange things that have happened
to me,
And how the queer people dress.
4th.
Such a famous housekeeper T will be,
; That all the ladies will call to see
; How ever I make such beautiful bread !
For al 1 my household shall be well fed
When I’m a woman.
I Oh! the sweetest jellies and cream Fll make,
1 And of daintiest puddings, and pies, and cake,
I will always have great store.
My kitchen floor shall be snowy white,
And every tiling else shall be just light
That you find inside n y door.
sth.
I'll be a lecturer, traveling about,
When it isn't too stormy for men to get out ;
1 ll show them their sphere and the women’s too,
And tell the young girls what they ought to do
When they are women.
I’ll let people see why the world goes wrong,
And make them all hope it won’t be long
Till women can have their way.
Freedom to lecture, to vote, to preach,
To do everything now beyond our reach,
We surely will have some day !
Gth.
Til be a milliner, wrapped in a cloud
Of laces and ribbons, and sought by a crowd
Ot beautiful ladies in velvet and pearls,
Who want exquisite hate for their dear little
girls,
In the style just fresh from Paris !
Such ravishing bonnets as I’ll invent
leave never been seen on this continent!
And, for customers to prepare them,
Fll have dozens of girls sewing night and day,
For fear the new fashion will grow passe
Before folks get a chance to wear them.
7th.
When ]'tn a woman, a teacher I'll be,
But I hope I shall not have much company ;
Gh ! if committees could only know
How glad we are when they rise to go!
\\ hen I’m a woman
I expect that teachers will have great pay,
And they won’t work more than three hours a
day,
And vacations will be so long!
And 111 caution my scholars to take great care
lo study no more than their health will bear,
lor that would be very wrong,
All.
When tcc are women; you then will see
The useful things that women can be ;
.and though each ol us in her own way tries,
\\ e can all be happy, and g’ood, and wise,
When we are women.
But perhaps it is true that time has wings.
And, it we would do all these wonderful things,
e must lose not a single day,
If our plans should go wrong, we’ll have cour
age still,
For we ttiink that somehow, where we’ve a will
We shall always find a way!
A. I. M.
EASTMAN, BODGE COLMSTY, GA., FEB.i l,
Hiug ins anil the Widow.
One day Sandy Higgins came into
my oflice and sat down without a word;
for some minutes lie sat still, watching
me intently, as if trying to make out
by the sound of the pen what I was
writing.
“Squiref* he said at length, “did 1
ever tell you about my scrape with the
widow Horry, up here on the river?”
“Never did,” said I, laying down iny
pen; “let’s have it.”
‘ They’re curious creatures, widows
is,” said he in a inediative tone, “and
the more you study about ’em the more
you don’t know about ’em. What was
the thing 1 read about in Egypt or
some other country, that nobody could
unriddle?”
“The Sphinx, probably,” I replied.
“Well,” continued he, “that was a
widow as sure as ever you had a gran
ny. Every tiling' else in the earth has
been found out by them and they are
as great a mistery to-day ai the lei gdi
of the North Pole. You may read the
history of the world from Genesis to
Revelations, and you’ll see that wid
ows has been the bottom or top of five
quarters of all the devilment toads been
cut up. Was you ever in love with
one?”
“Lots of them,” said I.
.“You’re a great gander—that’s what
you are,” said he. “A man who loves
one-and gets over it, won’t never get
bit by another, if lie’s got as much
sense as a ground hog. I ] don’t con
sider that Iv'e got any sense at all, but
I’m a little too smart to let another of
them g'et all the trumps on me. The
widow Ilorrv, that 1 was speaking
about, is a little the handsomest wo
man I reckon, that ever lookeTl a man
into fits, and I ought to be a judge,
for I’ve seen lots of pretty women in
iny day. She was about twenty-live
years old when I went up there to
work, just in the bloom of her beauty,
aral is full of deviltry as a tiirec-yoir
at Jenkins’, and of course I went, for
I always go where there’s anv fun <o)-
ing on, and generally act the tool lie
fore I get. away. Of course the widow
was there, and dressed as fine as Solo
mon’s liliies, and flying around as fris
ky as any young iamb in a rye-patch.
I got introduced to her and asked her
to dance with me, and when she Hash
ed her eyes at me and said “ves,” I
.jumped up like 1 had set down on a
hot griddle. You may talk about sen
sations, but when she took hold of my
hand and I sorter squeezed it, I felt a
sensation as big as a load of wood, and
it kept running up and down my back
like a squirrel with a hawk after him.
I,m very fond of dancing, but I’ll lx*
hanged if I know whether I enjoyed it
that night or not, for every time she
took my hand I'd commence feeling
curious behind the cars and up and
down my back again, and then I would
not know whether I was on earth, or
in a balloon, or on a comet, or any.
thing about it. It was undoubtedly a
case at that. For a wonder I got
through the frolic without making mv
self conspicuous or cutting up any
exti as, as I am in the habit of doing
when I go into public. I’d set my
pegs to go home with the widow after
the ball, just as I was fixin’ my mouth 1
to ax ie L T, P steps a big, long, leather-!
faced doctor named Mabry, and walked
her off before my eyes. That riled me
some, but I kept my tongue still, in
waidlv swearing to break his bones
the first opportunity that presented it
self. I saw there was no use in saying ;
thing, so I went home and went to i
bed, and all the rest of the night I was
dreaming about rainbows, angels, fid
dles, widows and doctors mixed up
like a Dutchman’s dinner.”
“Well,” ’Squire, to make a long sto
ry short, I made up my mind to have
the widow, or kill myself or somebody
else.”
“So I made it convenient to be on
-hand where she was on all occasions.
I couldn’t sleep, eat nor work, and if
the thing had held on, I wouldn’t have
had sense enough left to skin a rabbit.
But I was determined that it shouldn’t
last long, for I had been fooled by wo
men, and I thought I wouldn't give her
time to think of anything but me.
She appeared to take to mo right
sharply, and the doctor seemed to mix
in with me, but I didn’t consider him
anymore than a brush fence, for I was ;
so far gone I thought she could see
nobody on earth but me. Well, ’Squire,
it went on so for about a month, and
one Sunday I screwed up my spunk
and put the question. -She looked
kinder one-sided, and finally told me
that six. couldn’t give me on answer
just then, but if I’d call at her house
next Thursday evening she’d give me
a final answer. Thinks I, you’re mine
as sure as .there’s a fiddler below.—
Whenever a woman takes time to
study she’ll say yes. ’Squire, don’t
the p. A say somt thing about the cal
culations of rats and men going
crooked ?”
“Mice and men, Burns says,” I an
swered.
Wei!, mice and rats is all one, and
so is men and fools sometimes, as I
have found out in my travels. I was
so sure that si e would have me that 1
went off and spent all my money for
fine clothes, thinking that I would
have them ready for the wedding—and
did ! Confound the widow* I say !
Confound all widows ! Thursday even
ing came at last, although it was a
long time about it and over I went
dressed into fits and leeling as big as
Josh Raynor did when lie was elected
coroner. I got there about dark and
found a right smart crowd collected,
which v. as not on the bills, but I felt
!as good as the rest of ’em. So in I
j marched like a blind mule into a po
’ talo patch, and took a seat by the fire.
! I didn’t see anything of the widow, but
; r kept looking for her to come in’ or
j send for me, and p issed away the time
eussin’ the crowd to myself think in'
they had no business there, and I want
ed to get to talk to my woman a bit.
Presently the door opened and in walk
ed Polly and the dad-burned doctor and
a whole team of gills and boys fixed up
savagely,.l tell y -u. I looked around
for a fid.Her, thinkim they were about to
> U ’vE l l.wo-..L- l what they
iah ivept so si; it icr, a ITT wn ; .g-mA
| proposin’ a reel, when up gits a little
: preacher and before you could swallow
; a Eve oyster he had Polly and the
P :etor married faster than a Mexican
greaser could tic a bull's horn. I was
so completely fiummixed Emit I sat
! there with :nv mouth open like I was
| going to swallow the whole crowd,
i and my eyes lookin’ like billiard balls
; till die ceremony was ever, when I
jumped up and bellowed :
“I forbid the thing from being' con
i stituted !”
“ion re a little too late, my friend,’’
said tiie preacher and they all com
menced laughing like they had seen
something funny.
“i'll be ding-squizzled if I don’t be
soon enough for somebody yet,” said
I ; lor i was mad squire, and no mis
take m ihat ticket. I do believe ]
could have eaten up that doctor quicker
than a hungry dog could swallow a
squirrel skin, if I could have got a fair
chance at him. It was too bad, after!
1 had fixed to marry her myself, for i
her to walk right out under my eyes ;
and marry that babboon.
“It was bad, that is a fact,” said I.
“Bad !” he cried. “It was meaner
than eating fried coon, I first thought
| I’d go straight home, but then I con
! eluded that wouldn’t spite nobody.
; You know I’m the devil to get myself
:or someone else into a scrape, so I
j concluded to stay and see if I couldn’t
I ff et satisfaction out of somebody ;so I
| commenced studying out some plan.—
I l codec ted hearing the doctor say
that where he come from—but the
Lord only knows where that was the
bride and groom always washed their
face and hands together before they
went to bed, as a charm against infi
delity or imbecilit}’, or some other long
word. \\ hile I was studying about
that, I spied the doctor’s saddle bags
setting m Fie corner ; so I waited till
they went to supper, and then I got
toe bags and looked to see what I
could discover. Nearly the first thing
I saw was a stick of lunar caustic. I
slipped it into my pocket, for I had
my plan as soon as I saw it. Well, I
watched around till I saw one of the i
gi-is go to the pail with the pitcher ;
so I went out and asked her what she
was going to dp with it. She said die i
was going to carry it to the room for
the doctor and Polly to wash their
faces in. I kept talking to her while
she was filling the pitcher, and when
she turned her head I dropped the
caustic into if. It was then about
bed-time, and I got my bat and put out,
but I couldn’t help laughing all the
way home, whenever Pd think about
it next morning.
“Well, ’Squire, they do say that
when that couple woke up the next
mornin’ they both had the hardest kind
of fits, each one thinking they had
been sleeping with a nigger. Oh, it
was rich ! He a cussing an 1 tearing
up things and she a screamin’ ami
famtiu’ and cornin’ to, and 'goin’ off
again, and me not there to see it.—
They make such a rascally racket that
the folks broke into the room to see
what was the matter, and there they
were with their faces and hands ns
black as the inside of a stove pipe.—
Pd have given half mv interest in
t’other world to have been at some
safe place where I could have seen the
row. As soon as they found they were
the same folks that were married the
night before, the\ called for warm
water and soap, but just here the doc
tor happened to think and took it to
the door to see what was the matter.
There was a little piece of caustic that
had not dissolved-, and as he saw it he
says :
‘Ws no use washing, Polly. All
the soap in New York City can’t wash
that black off?”
That was the truth, ’Squire. Soap
and water had no more effect than on
a native born African, and-the chance
was for it to wear off. llow long it
took them to get white again, 1 never
found out ; hut one thing I do know,”
he conclud'd, getting up to go out,
“the next time I met the doctor, I had
the hardest fight and come the Highest
being whaled that ever I did in mv
! born and y
1 1 gw to Live Happy
-* l ***-—■ *-.*j - *- .; i „ . r l . -i i: follow
mg excellent advice.- There is much
! Mumun Bature and good sense in if.
j , i' iimony in the married state is
' thc v “ r .V fast to be aimed at. Nothing
an pieserye affections uninterrupted
i !iut a Urm resolution never to differ in
w.ii, and a determination in each to
consider the other’s love of more value
iham any subject whatever on which
a wisii had been fixed. If nv light in
tael, is the sacrifice of any other wish
when weighed against the affections
one wiili wnorn we are to pass our
WiKile life ! And though opposition in
a single instance, will hardly of itself
pioduce alienation, yet every one lias
their pouch into which all these little
oppositions are put ; while ’that is fill
ing tno alienation is insensibly going
on, and when filled, it is complete It
would puzzle either to say why, be
cause no one difference of opinion has
'>een marked enough to produce a se
rious effect by itself. But he finds his
affections wearied out by a constant
dream of little checks and obstacles.
Other sources of discontent, very com
mon indeed, are the little cross purpo
ses of husband and wife, and in
common conversation, a disposition to
criticise and question whatever the
otiiei sa\s, a desire always to doinon
stiate and make him fed himself in
; the wrong-, especially in company.
| Nothing- is so goading. Much better,
to ere fore, if our companion views a
tning in a light different from what
we do, leave him in the quite posses
sion of his views. What is the use of
rectifying him if the tiling be impor-’
taut ? Let it pass for the present, and
wait for a softer moment and more
conciliatory occasion ot rehearsin'' l1 * the*
subject together. It is wonderful how
many persons are rendered unhappy
b_\ inattention to tnuse little rules ot
prudence.”
There is talk about removing the seat of
Government of the Suite of Pennsylvania to
Philadelphia. The corruptions are so great at
Harrisburg that virtuous people think that Phil- ;
adelphia would be more favorable to honest
administration. Dreadful indeed must be the
condition of things iy Harrisburg that could j
give the preference to Fniadelphia.
An Arkansas girl having named her
kitten Dolly Varden, her little brother
named his Timm as Varden.
au• >scrioc at Alice to the i imfs
LM MISEII n.
-Making -V Foitsme.
\ _____
BY MABK TWAIN*.
Samuel MeFadden was a watchman
in a bank. lie was poor, but liono.-t,
and his life was without reproach.
The trouble with him was that he was
not appreciat'd. Ills salary was but
four dollars a week, and when he ask
ed to have it r used, the president,
cashier and the board of directors glar
ed at him through their spectacles, and
Irowned on lean, and told him to go out
and stop his insol nice, when he knew
business was dull, lot al >ne lavish
ing* deb. :** on such a miserable
worm as Samuel MeFadden. And
then Samuel MeFadden felt depress
ed, sad, and the haugnty scorn ot,
the president and the cashier out him
to the soul. lie would often go into
the sidevard, and bow his venerable
twenty-four inch head, and weep gal
lons and gallons of tears over his in
signilicance, and pray that lie might
be made worthy of tlie cashier’s and
pros id nt’a polite attention.
One night a happy thought struck
him, a gleam of light burst upon him,
and gazing down the dim vista of years
with his eyes all blinded with joyous
tears, he saw himself rich and respect
ed. So Samuel MeFadden fooled
around and got a jimmy, a monkey
wrench, a cross-cut saw, a cold-chisel,
a drill, and about a ton of powder and
nitro-glycerino, and those things.—
hTcn in the dead of night he went to
the fire-proof safe, and after working 1
at it for a while, burst the and >or and
brick into an immortal smash, with
| such a perfect success that there was
not enough of that safe left to make a
carpet tack. Mr. MeFadden then pro
ceeded to load up with coupons, green
backs, currency and specie, and to
nail all the old change that was lying
anywhere, so that he pranced out of
the bank with over a million dolars on
him. He then retired to an unassum
ing residence out of town, and then
I ' vor -! to tno detectives where he
j was.
J -o d■f 'Ciivo called on him the next
j d-'y, witii a soothing note from the
| cashier. IhcFadJen treat 'd it with
1 ( *n. Detectives called on him evew
day, with humble notes from the pres
ident, caslner and board of directors.
At li-1 the bank officers got up a mag
n ill cent private supper, to which Mr.
McFadd-n was invited. He came, and
as the bank officers bowed down in
tiie oust before him he pondered well
over the bitter past, and his soul was
ii I,'d with exultation.
ILfoi ehe oro\o away m his carriage
that night it was fixed that Mr. Mc-
Fadden was to keep half a million of
t h.it, mcney, and t ) be unmolested if"
he returned the other half, lie ful
iiiled his contract like an honest man,
but refused with haughty disdain the
atfer of the cashier to marry his daugh
( C \
T iac 118 now honored and respected
He moves in the best society. He
browses around in purple and fine linen
and otner good clothes, and enjoys Jiim
seli first-rate. And often now lie takes
hm im'ant son on his knee and tells him
! “ s early life, and instills Indy prin
' ques into too child’s mind, and shows
:/im how. by industry and persever
ance, and frugality, and nitro-glycer
me, and monkey-wrenches, and cross
cut saws, and familiarity with the de-
U'ci.we system, evou the poor may rise
to Cilluence and responsibility.
Typographical Enors.
On one occasion “casting your pearls before
.some" was printed: “Casting their pills before
sunrise-” Again, on the description of a
building, it was written: “It had sixty f ;incy
t0..1n >\pc it r.-id : The establislimen
coniained sixty faded widows. 5 '
A certain Jenkins also, was the victim of an
j a -l A -v.ued iis' anit, because when, in liis report
! of a we dding, he declared that “the bride was
I to the altar by eight brides
i maids ’" mads it that “the bride was
I a -*companied to the altar by tight bridesmaids.
An editor wrote; “The Kev. B is a
j-.ett} aged minister.’ It was printed “The
nev. B -a putty eyed monster.”
A New York editor, remarkable for his bad
penmanship, wrote: “Women now manage
most of the public libr a-ies in Massachusetts*
and the compositor read it: “Women now
worry most of their public babies by mastica
tion. 5
A poet write . “Her bosom tossed by respi_
ration wild. ’ The printer made it read, “He;
husband Was bound with perspiration mild.”
„ a_>e } e iLertjiGj.’rg steadfast, is well, but when
iiLpimled Pc ve there for breakfast,” it is
not so will.