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EASTMAN TIMES. X 3£l Live Country Paper. /ÜBLIBHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING —BY IT. S. BURTON. TERMS OP Il'USCßlPl’lox i One copy, one yew $2.00 One copy, fix montkfl y.OO Ten copies in clube, one ye*r, each 1.50 Single copies 6 c t ß FIRE-FLIE.S. ’Tin June, and all the lowland swamps Arc rich with tufted reeds and feriiH, And tihny with the vaporous damps ..at rise when twilights’ crimson burns ; Ami a* the deepening dusk of night Svals purpling up from vale to height, r I !i want, fire-ties show their fitful light. Sft gleams ■ clover-beams they fling, An ! gtfnir rin each shadowy dell, Ur downwaia witli a sudden swing Fall, as of old a I’lc'ad fell; And on t tic fields bright gems they strew And up and down the meadow goj And through tho forest wander to and fro. They store no hive nor earthly cell They Pip no honey from the rose; ls> day unseen, unknown they dwell, Nor aught of their rare g ft disclose ; Yet, when the night upon the swamp?,’ falls out tho murk and misty damps, They pierce the shadows with their shining lamps. Now ye, who in life’s garish light, Unseen, unknown, walk to and fro, When death Htiall bring a dreamless night, May we not find your lamps aglow? God works, we know not why or how, And, one day. lights, close hidden now, May blaze like gems upon an ai gel’s brow. ROMANCE OF THE RAIL. Among the pleasant things in an itin erant Bohemian life I count tho perpet ual meeting at most unexpected places of people whom you have known before in widely different localities. An hour ago my friend and I started for a stroll on this matchless Galveston beach. All the afternoon wo sat on the upper gal lery watching the long, low surf-crests that crept so slowly and surely land ward ; all tho afternoon we had listened, in the pauses of our light chattering, to the ceaseless refrain which those same white-capped waves were chanting, till the beauty of the scene and the siren song tempted us down to the shore. Oh, it was lovely, sauntering thither over the oleander-planted walks, breath ing their rich, exquisite perfume and gathering handfuls of the pink blos soms. A f w carriages had come for the regular suuset drive; some German women were gathering shells ; a few children, with bare, dimpled feet, were wading out into the coming waves, to run back with screams of laughter when some swifter billow washed up higher than the rest ; and over the whole pic ture there rented the mellow glow re flected from the crimsoned west. The occupants of the carriages raised their eyebrows in polite amazement as they rolled past us, for a pleasure walk was beyond their comprehension ; and my friend laughed, telling me that she always knew northern visitois because they loved to wander a pied , and Texans never do. “ I’m sure they regard me as mildly insane for my long walks ; but, see, this time we have companions in our mad ness,” she continued, pointing to a pair who were standing a little distance be yond. “Evidently a bride and gioom,” I asserted, for “ Both avoid young and one was fair,” and there were the usual unmistakable symptoms of recent ownership quite ap parent, in the air of tho young man, who just then folded the lady’s wrap mere closely, and caught, her fluttering vail till she had fastened it securely ; and in tho act she turned her face toward us, startling me with it familiar look. “ Isn’t she beautiful ?” said my friend. I answered her absently, since I was hunting every nook in memory for the counterpart of the fair girl before us. I was sure I had known her—but where ? An impertinent wave came hurrying up the beach, and in a moment the bride's dainty boots would have suffered, tmt milord clasped her swiftly, and raising her, ran back a few steps, com ing close to us. I knew then where I had seen the happy pair, but I went very sob rly toward them, only quietly saying : “So this is what came of that jour ney !” “By Jove!” ejaculated my hero iu round English tones, seizing both my hands in a grip that nearlv crushed them, while the bride blushed, laughed and added her graceful greeting. Wasn’t it an odd encounter ? I last saw those young f eople at Cheyenne, in September, 1873; now they met me strolling on the shore of the gulf, and my friend asserted that we had picked up something better than shells this time, for she do minded the story at °nce ; and I will tell it to you just as I told it to her. On Friday, Sept, I*2, 1873—1 like to be accurate—the San Francisco train food on the track at Omaha waiting the arrival, from the opposite side of | be Missouri, of eastern passengers There were four Pullman cars attached; three were already tillpd, or engaged by telegram, and the oflicials iu charge were grumbling because “Boss Tweed” and his party occupied six entire sec tions. The “Boss” stayed closely in his compartment, for Nast had made his face so perfectly familiar to every one that he encountered more staring than he likpd. His daughter, a stately, dignified lady, waited the Btart with evident impatience, while the young gentlemen—his sons and their friends— stood in a group on the platform, smok ing. apparently enjoying the curious looks which were naturally leveled at them. They were bound for the Yo Semite and I have always marveled that, when once so far away from Gotham, the “Boss” didn’t know enough to sail for Hong Kong and stay there ; but that “ marvel” is not essen tial to my story. We were picking away at lunches, eating California grapes, and doing the hundred listless things one always does while merely “ waiting,” till the scream of the approaching “transfer train” sounded shrilly out, and we looked with interest at the new passengers. Some °f them deserve 1 our regards, others didn’t; but we watched them all, men ially summing up each particular case, and utterly ignoring them thereafter, or else resolving to win their friend ship. The first group comprised a man, his little, meflicient, washed-out-looking wife, a strong-minded nurse, and two children, destined to be our torments. Next came a widow and her daugh ter ; the daughter wore glasses and was a goose ; the mother only, paying for a single berth, grumbled and fretted most impolitely when the other seat and berth ot the section was assigned hi a tall, spirited-looking English girl, with whose splendid eyes and queenly ways 1 fell directly iu"love. But, dear friends, don’t jump at conclusions, for she isn’t my heroine of the beach. Two Dollars Per Annum, VOLUME 11. Listening to theill-bred matron, I hardly noticed a bevy of young girls who had entered, at the rear door, or two oreadfully bridish brides and their spouses who had likewise claimed their places. My English beauty, utterly disgusted with her vis a vis, asked for a place in my section during the day, and we became so delightfully confi dential in ten minutes tnat I learned she was from Nova Scotia ; that this was tho eleventh day of her journey, and that her destination was Sacrameto; while the merry-faced, handsome young man whom she ordered about with such supreme nonchalance was her brother. Meantime, we heard from the rear sections peals of merry laughter, the aforesaid infants gave us peal on peal of dreadful and we took dishonor able peeps in the tell-tale mirrors to watch the “spooning” of the brides. Our handsome young man roamed up and down, and finally, with a wickedly mischievous face, came to his sister, suggesting that she should go and watch the view from the end of the ear. I knew his motive, so I went too ; but he made nothing that time, for his sis ter never even glanced at the pretty girls we passed. We looked from the platform a few minutes ; our hero stood twisting his mustache with vexation, till, growing desperate, he remarked : “Sav, Madge! That girl with the dark eyes is stunning, isn’t she ? I wish you would make her acquaintance.” “Indeed! That’s the view you ad mired, was it? Well, sir, I shall do nothing of the kind. I have no vocation for ‘stunning’ girls. Come, Mr. D., let’s go back I” Evidently used to such snubbing, Tom—th t wasn’t his name, but Ave’ll play it avus— made a mocking salute, and retorted, laughing : “Well, madam, I’m quite equal to helping myself. You just wait till you want to know some ‘ stunning’ fellow !” Madge only gave him a look of su preme contempt and walked off, tossing over her shoulder a command to fetch the hamper, for she was hungry, and no supper could be had till Ave reached Grand island ; then, turning to me, she said with an exceedingly ancient air, “ Positively, that boy is too ridiculous ! He gets silly over these American girls all the time ; but I won’t help him !” “ That boy !” I repeated with intense amusement; for the delinquent stood six feet high, and was evidently older than the monitress who lectured him in the gravest fashion all the while we were nibbling at the contents of that never-to-be-forgotten hamper. It re minded me of the famous one Avhicli Mr. Wardle carried to the races, and I think we enjoyed it as much as Mr. Pickwick aud his friends enjoyed their nl fresco lunch, though the sleepy fat boy was not in attendance. The usual funny scenes occurred dur ing the stoAvi rig-away process at night : but the long hours passed swiftly, aud the “ infants” greeted the morning with sundry howls of misery and fretfulaess, which waked us all too soon. It was droll enough to see the way in which everybody peeped from their sections to investigate the “ reason "why,” and then, having viewed the situation, each sud denly discovered all the other curious heads, and disappeared. The lament iug wail was from the stout lungs of a four-vear-old boy this time. His moth er, arranging her toilet placidly, paid no heed to his screams, and the little imp danced with passion. Suddenly Madge showed a vexed face between her curtains, and her ringing voice called out imperatively ; “ Tom ! for heaven’s sake get a slip per ad spank that child ! He’s quite too old to cry like that, and his mother doesn’t seem to know enough to manage him !” Then she vanished. Fancy the laugh ! It began in a chorus of stifled chuckles, but she had spoken for us all and a hearty indorse ment sounded from every berth, Avhiie the amazed parent picked up her off spring, slapped him soundly, and looked round with a “ Please-ma’am-what-else shall l-do?” face which was funnier than Madge’s prescription. Our train was “ behind time,” and breakfast Avas only a dim prophecy, so we beguiled the hours as best we might, watching f> r buffaloes wlrch wouldn’t appear, spying several groups of the pretty, graceful antelopes, passing swiftly through widespread settlements of the funny little prairie-dogs, aud opening our eyes widely at the cactus which grew in such prickly profusion on either side of the track. I found the face of my Euglish beauty more en chauting than anything else, for it was as changeful as her thoughts. Sudden ly she exclaimed : “ I wonder Avhere Tom can be!” and, suiting the action to the word, she started in pursuit, She was only gone a minute ; then, with a comically rue ful face, she begged me to come, too. We found the deserter cosily tucked beside the very girl he had admired the day before, for both of them were occu pying the same car step, while tho rest, of the gay group were camped on the platform. Of course I laughed, while Madge evinced her presence by reach ing over and energetically pulling a curl of the handsome head that was so dan gerously near the young lady’s losy cheeks. Tom started, looked round, and coolly said : “ Ah, Madge ! I thought it was you. Well, I can’t very well move just now; but, Miss Ellis, if you can look over your shoulder you will see my sis ter. Miss Fairfax, allow me to present Miss Ellis.” The scamp certainly showed good taste ; for Miss Ellis was very lovely, both in feature and expression. She blushed a little, but bowed as graceful ly as her position permitted, and her voice Avas singularly sweet when she said, “I find that Mr. Fairfax is an old schoolmate of my brother’s. They were at Toronto together !” It was Madge’s turn to blush now, not a little, but furiouslv, while Tom’s mischievous danced with delight at her confusion, and I did some Yankee “ guessing” about that “ broth er,” which proved quite correct, aud then I sat doAvn to AYatch further devel opments and to enjoy the happiness be fore me. O youth and hope and beau tv ! What brave possessions ye are ! Ye hold in your magical glasses such rare libations, and w'e drink such eager draughts, believing the visions they j bring to heart and brain. EASTMAN, DODGE CO., GEORGIA, THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 1874. The train roared on. “ Boss Tweed” came out and stood on the platform of his car, watching the strange, desolate lands we were passing; gen tlemen consoled themselves' with cigars; ladies tried all conceivable changes of position and read persistently; while all the happiness and delight in the whole train seemed to concentrate in the knot of young people about me. Madge sent for the hamper, the young ladies opened their baskets, and when we reached Cheyenne I left Tom seated on a reversed water pail, with all the gay girls around him pampering him by of fers of the daintiest morsels, and" my queenly Madge as merry as the rest, di recting at him a perpetual volley of saucy speeches. They were all going through to Sacra mento. My prophetic soul told me what would happen, for the imprisonment in a Pullman car for a week of two mutu ally susceptible young people has an almost certain result. Nothing in Euclid is surer than a flirtation, Avhiie something more serious is very apt to take place. Tom gave me his own ver sion of the story, declaring fate had been too much far him, for during those days of travel he had grown so used to caring for Miss Ellis, so accustomed to playing a devoted lover “ just to tease Madge /” that when then* destination was attained the force of habit made him still seek the young lady, and “she seemed so fond of him, that, Avell, real ly now, you knoAV a fellow finds himself in a queer position, and I had to marry her just to save her feelings!” The pretty bride had heard all this before, so she only rejoined with the meekest air : “ I’m trying to shoAv how sensible I am of his pure benevolence.” “Altogether an accident!” but what a delicious consequence ! I am telling you a true story, dear friends, and if you Avill find out the history of many a marriage it will be found to have had an equally small beginning. “Aud Madge?” I think I hear you say. Well, Maidge was going to Sacra mento to complete her engagement to that same brother of Alias Ellis, who had known “Tom” at Toronto, and Tom asserts that she rules him splen didly. I’d give something to see her eyes flash again, but to-morrow I am to say good by to my hero and heroine, Avho rail for home, at Cape Breton ; and Madge is keeping house in Sacramento. California Wood-Choppers. It is in the logging camps that a stranger Avill be most, interested on this coast, for there he will see and feel the bigness of the red-woods. A man in Humboldt, county got out of one tree lumber enough to build his house and bam, and to fence in two acres of ground. * A schooner was filled with shingles made from a single tree. Cno tree in Mendocino whose remains were shown to me made a mile of railroad ties. Trees fourteen feet in diameter have been frequently found and cut down; the saw-logs are often split apart Avith Avedges, because the entire mass is too large to float iu the small and nar row streams, and I have often seen them blow a 'eg apart with gunpowder. A tree four feet in diameter is culled un dersized in these woods, and so skillful are the wood-choppers that they can make the largest giant of the forest fall just where they want it, or, as they say, “ drive a stake with the tree.” The choppers do not stand on the ground, but on a stage raised to such a height as to enable the ax to strike in where the tree attains its fair and regu lar thickness, for the red-wood, like the sequoia, swells at the base near the ground. These trees prefer steep hill sides, and grow in an extremely rough and broken country, ad their great height makes it necessary to fell them carefully, lest they should, falling with such enormous weight, break to piece . This constantly happens, in spite of every precaution, and there is little doubt that in these forests and at the mills two feet of wood are wasted for every foot of lumber sent to market. To mark the direction line on which the tree is to fall, the chopper usually drives a stake into the ground 100 or 150 feet from the base of the tree, and it is actually common to make the tree fall on this stake, so straight do these red-woods stand and so accurate is the skill of the cutters. To fell a tree ei-lit feet iu diameter is counted a day’s work for a man.— Harper's Magazine. Curious Calculation. There is something wonderful iu fig ures ; and l umbers, when calculated, startle us by their immensity. We talk of millions and billions with little thought of the vastness of the sums we name. The lips may utter the words glibly, but their understanding fails to grasp their real significance. Take our own national debt as an illustration. Everybody kuows it is large, but few have ever stopped to consider its appall ing magnitude. A few calculations will not, we trust, be uninteresting to our readers : Let us suppose that the national debt is, in round numbers, $2,500,000,000. If au experienced cashier was to com mence counting this, at the rate of three silver dollais per second, and work dil ligeutly eight hours per day, 300 days in the year, it would take him about one hundred years to complete the Count. If the silver dollars were placed side by side, touching each other, they would reach nearly thi ee times round the world ; thev would pave a highway the width of Chicago’s streets more than 200 miles iu length. If each silver piece be estimated at one ounce in weight, and the money loaded into carts containing one ton each, and driven one before the other, each horse* and cart occupying two rods, the pro cession would extend five hundred miles. Or consider that only about 1.000,- 000,000 minutes have elapsed since the birth of Christ, and that if one dollar had been put away each minute, day and night, since that event, the accu mulation would amount to but little more than one-third of the debt this nation now owes. If this calculation was applied to England or France, whose national debt is nearly twice as large as ours, the result would be still more startling. In God }f'c Trust. SUBORDINATION OF WOMEN. All •Anti-Women’ a ItisfUts View of (he Situation. That woman has not competed with men in the active work of life was pro bably because, not having had the pow er, she had not the desire to do so, and because, having the capacity of func tions A?hich man has not, she has found her pleasure in performing them. It is not simply that man, being stronger iu body than she is, has held her in sub jection, aud debarred her from careers o? action which he was resolved to keep for himself; her maternal functions must always have rendered, and must continue to render, most of her activity domestic. There ha\*e been times enough in the history of the world, when the freedom which she has had, aud the position which she lia-, held in the estimation of men, woukl have en abled her to assert her claims to oth r funcli ms, had she so Avilled it. The most earnest advocate of her rglits to be something else than what she has hitherto been, would hardly argue that she has always been in the position of a slave kept in forcible subjection by the superior physical force of men. As suredly, if she has been a slave, she has been a slave content with her bondage. But it may, perhaps, be said that in that lies the very pith of the matter— that she is not free, and does not care to be free ; that she is a slave, and does not know or feel it. It may be alleged that she has lived for so many ages in the position of dependence, to which she was originally reduced by the supe rior muscular strength of man, has been so thoroughly imbued with inher ited habits of submission, and over awed bv the influence of customs never questioned, that she has not the desire for emancipation ; that thus a moral bond age has been established, more effectual than an actual physical bondage. It would be rash to assert that there is not some measure of truth in these arguments. Let any one who thinks otherwise reflect upon the degraded condition of women in Turkey, where habit is so ingrained in their nature, and custom so powerful over the mind, that they have neither thought nor de sire to attain to a higher state, and “naught feel their foul disgrace;” a striking illustration how women may be demoralized and yet not knoAv nor feel it, and an instructive lesson for those who are anxious to form a sound judg ment upon the merits of the movement for promoting their higher education and the removal of the legal disabilities under which they labor. It is hardly possible to exaggerate the effects of the laws and usages of a country upon the habits of thought of those who, gener ation after generation, ba\*e been born and bred, and have lived under them. But may we not fairly assert that it would be no less a mistake in an oppo site direction to alloAv no weight to such an argument? Setting physiological considerations - aside, it is not possible to suppose that the Avhole explanation of woman’s position and character is that maD, having in the beginning foimd her pleasing in liis eyes and necessary to his enjoyment, took forcible posses sion of her, and has ever since kept her in bondage, without any other justifica tion than the right of the strongest. Superiority of muscular strength, with out superiority of any other kind, would not have done that any more than su periority of muscular strength has avail -1 and to give the lion or the elephant the possession of the earth. If it were not that woman’s organization and functions found their fitting home in a position different from, if not subordinate to, that of men, she Avould not so long have kept that position. If she is to be judged by the same standard as men, and to make Their aims her aims, we are certainly bound to say that she labors under an inferiority of constitution by a dispensation which there is no gain saying. This is a matter of physiology, not a matter of sentiment. —Fortnightly Review. Hayseed. There are nearly 150,000 Patrons in Georgia. A. AI. Hardin, purchasing agent for Alississippi, at St. Louis, has SSOO in his hands, contributed by Missouri grauges, for Patrons in Louisiana. A grange in Aluscatine county, la., holds Avhat is called open grange, and invites everybody to attend. Questions of interest to agiiculturists and others are to be discussed. The grauges of Franklin county, Ohio, of which Columbus is the county seat, are trying to reduce wages of farm laborers from S2O to sls. The Patrons of Husbandry in the southern states number at present 2,- 500 granges, and are rapidly increasing. This is about one-third of all the sub ordinate granges in the United States. Union grange, Hickory county, Mo., has resolved to buv no more coffee so long as such high prices prevail ; and that its best interests demand that it shall purchase coffee at lower rates or cease to use it. A Minnesota grange has adopted a novel and praiseworthy method of edu cating its members and keeping them posted on current events, and adds fifty cents from the grange treasury to every dollar subscribed for newspapers desig nated by the grange. P.anting Prospects in the Missis sippi Valley. Everybody is busy in their fields in the valley, and planting, even in the over flowed districts, will be all complete this week. This encouraging news comes in freely from all sources. The John S. Miller place, below Friar’s Point, reported totally ruined a few days ago, is nearly replanted, and the whole place will be again in cultivation before the close of the present week. The recent crevasse carried huge rivers of water directly over the middle of the Miller place, but the alluvial de posits the water has left will render it more valuable than before, and a good crop is promised this year. On the I) ason place, near Carson’s Landing, 150 miles below here, 1,000 acres have been planted in cotton since the over flow. A curious fact in regard to immi gration is that many who come to the United States and Canada are from dis ci icts in the British isles almost as thinly populated as Dakota or South ern llorida. About 150 immigrants from Kincardineshire, Scotland, recent ly arrived at Halifax, bound for a now Yet one- may travel the moors of Kincardine for miles without seeing a house, and the land is but poorly cultivated. The Baltimore Horse and Mule Market. The Baltimore American of recent date says : “A number of small lots of good horses have arrived during the wetk from Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana and West Virginia. Several of these lots were particularly good. One spau of browns that arrived this week are for sale at an up-town stable. They can go a mile handsomely in less than four minutes, and they are valued at $4,000. This team may, however, be considered above the m°vkcfc, .md io nut iiKeiy tube sold at anything near th© sum' asked, although a few weeks since the same span would have brought even a larger amount than is now asked for them. A handsome span of Kentucky bays that have been for sale in this city for several weeks at $3,500 were ship ped to Philadelphia last week, where they will very likely be sold at advan ced figures. There are several other teams for sale at from $1,500 to $2 500 each, but the demand for horses of this grade is very poor. A number of ex cellent roadsters and single driving horses have arrived recently from Ken tucky and Ohio. This class of animals are selling low, one very stylish bay that can make a mile in less that four minutes being sold for $550. Horses of this class bring from 250 to 500 per head. This grade of horses is being bought principally by North Carolina men. A number of Wilmington and Newbern dealers are now in the city buying for those markets. Heavy draught-horses are in poor demand, and the supply is both large and excellent. These heavy horses are held at prices varying from $250 to $350 her head. The sales have, however, been very few. There are very few brood-mares upon the market. Snch animals are selling at from $l5O to $175 each. The demand for common work horses has been very good, and the sales have been larger than usual. The prices have of course, increased in proportion to the demand, and they bring from $75 to $l5O per head, according to age and points. The mule market' has for some weeks been very quiet, and the stock of mules on hand very large. There has been a change, however, in the market this week, and prices have advanced won derfully. The supply of sound and well-broken mules is very small, and, with the exception of one or two small green lots, none have arrived during the week. The prices range from S3OO to $650 per span.” What the Confederate Archives Show. It will be recollected that some time ago the southern claims commission, in pursuance of authority from congress, recommended the purchase of a large amount of rebel archives which were then in the possession of a person in Canada and that finally these archives were purchased for seventy-five thou sand dollars. It appears now that these papers and documents are to prove ot incalculable benefit in making up the truthful history of tLe late rebellion, and, to place them in historic, authentic form, it only requires a true historian — an American Macaulay, possibly—who shall have free access to the proper de partments, to give to the public the substance of the valuable documents. Just at this moment there is a subject of vast importance to be considered by congress, in which, to obtain intelligent action, the publicity of the rebel ar chives would aid materially. The Ge neva award had been attacked in Eng land by leading statesmen, apparently differing from the then dominant party in Great Britain, upon the ground, as alleged, that great injustice had been done the English government in the ar bitration. No clear statement of the facts on which this position was based has been published. It now appears from the rebel archives, the correspond ence of Mason, Slidell, and other repre sentatives of the southern confedera tion. that the Biitish government was absolutely opposed to any countenance or recognition of the movement to dis solve the union; that Mason tried in avin for over a year to get an audience with the then premier of England for the purpose of presenting liis case and demahdiug recognition of belligerent rights ; and that he left London in riis gust and repaired to Paris to confer with Siidell. There they met with more en couragement, it seems, and found in the late Emperor Napoleon a warm sympa thizer. Napoleon was willing to gve all the aid that could, under the cir cumstances, be expected of France. What took place between Napoleon, Mason, and Siidell will probably be disclosed in the further discussion of the Geneva award, when the bill making the distribution of thi money comes up in the house of representatives. ghikspearc’s Ghost. Not long since an English gentleman residing at Hong Kong dreamed two or three nights in succession that he met the ghost of Shakspeare near Stratford-’ en-Avon, of whom he asked whether any of the manuscripts of the great dramatist’s plays were still in exis tence ; whereupon the ghost led the way into a forest, and then pointing to a spot near tlie roots o a large tree, said, “Dig,” and vanished. The Hong- Kongressman hastened at once to Eng land and to Stratford, where he found and identified the ghost’s tree, and at once began to dig, which he continued to do day and night, until, at the depth of seven feet nine inches and a half, he found, wonderful as it may seem, that he had made a fool of himself. —A few days ago a hungry party sat down at the well-spread supper of a sound steamer, upon which one of the dishes contained a trout of moderate size. A serious-looking individual drew this dish toward him, saying, apology ti caUy, “This is fast day with me.” His nest neighbor, an Irish gentleman, im mediately inserted his fork into the fish ! and transferred it to his own plate, re- ; marking, “ Sir, do yon suppose nobody i La3 a sowl to be saved but yourself ?” j Payable in Advance. NUMBER 20. CiUmbs From Josh Billings. I he only way to hold out own iz to keep advancing—no one can set still and do it. It duz seem that all mankind luv lies more thin they do truth. How menny people do you suppose tlnire iz in the world who wouldn't rather listen to flattery they knu waz false than to re proof they knu was just? Wize men laff at most things in this life—it iz only the pliools who gape and swallo. Yu kant allwuss tell how mutch a man is really tickled hi hearing him lafi’. Thare ought to be a maslieen in vented to meazzure the joy in him, just az thare iz to find out how much water thare iz in milk. Honesty iz the basis ov all that iz good or even remarkable in enny man. reazon whi everyboddy In vs child, and pete a puppj, la bchauze they are so natral. Whenever yu see a phellow who iz forever and amen in a red hot hurry, yu kan make up yure mind that he liaint got mutch to do, and but little kapacity to do it. Good breeding iz nothing more than the art ov knowing how to wait paslmut ly till our turn comes. A little child wont do this, and a little pig kant. Gossip iz more ketching than the meazles iz. The quickest way to take the humil ity out of a man who iz forever blaming himself for sumthing iz to agree with him. This ain’t what he iz looking for. Book larnin iz all a man needs in this life, provided he spends hiz daze in a closet. Next to a bad man I am allwus the nr st afrade ova cunning one. Familiarity kan only be prakticed with safety amung the well bred—fools and puppys will run right over yu with the least bit ov encouragement. Thoze who never laff seem to Lav died before their time cum. Every human being haz hiz own pri vate sorrow, and thoze who whissell are wizer than thoze who weep over it. A conceited man iz a grate fraud, but he never cheats enny boddy so much az he duz himself. He who dont want what he liaint got liaz got all he wants and iz happy, whether he knows it or not. The covetous man is like a sponge, which takes in all the moisture that cums near it, and lets out none until it iz squeezed. A cunning man iz selduni wize, and not allwuzz honest. The man who never deceives himself iz the hardest kind ova man for others to deceive. If mankind had been satisfied with the bare necessitys ov life, we should to-day be just about az far advanced in the arts and sciences as Cain and Abel wuz. Double sixes are a good thiow with the dice, but thare iz one better throw .than that—throw them into the fire. Prudence is a most necessary virtew ; it aint safe to be karless, even with an intimate friend. No man lias ever lived to be so old, and so wise, that he couldn’t learn sum tliing from experience. Thare iz a grate menny ginger-pop people ; after they have been unkorked for a fu minutes, they git to be dred phull flat. Changing tlie Tune. Snooks had occasion to call on the Rev. Dominie Thomas Campbell while at Glasgow. “Is the dominie in?” he inquired of a portly dame who opened the door. “ He’s at liame, but lie’s no in,” replied the lady. “ He’s in the yard, sooporintendin’ Sauners, the car penter. Ye can see him the noo if your business is vera precise.” Snooks as sented and walk and through the door pointed out to him in the yard, where hebiheld a carpenter briskly planing away to the air of “Maggie Lauder,” and the worthy dominie standing bv. Unwilling to intrude on their conversa tion, Snooks stepp and, unseen, behind a water cask, and heard, “ Sauners !” No answer from the carpenter. “Sauners, I say ! can ye no hear me ?” “ Yes, min ister, I hear ye. What’s your wull ?’’ “ Can ye no whistle some mair solemn and godly tune while ye’re at work?” “A weel, minister, if it be your wull, I’ll e’en doit.” Upon which he changed the air to the “ Dead March in Saul,” greatly to the hindrance of what was now painful planing, The domirie looked on for some minutes in silence, and then said, “ Sauners, I liae anither ■word to say till ye. Did the gude wife hire ye by the day’s darg or by the job ?” “The day ( s darg, was our agree ing, maister.” “Then, on the whole, Sauners, I think ye may just as weel gae back to whistli g bonnie ‘ Maggie Lauder.’” A Pulpit Sensationalist. A correspondent writes: “There is a Rev. Mr. Peck in Worcester, Mass., whose performances in the pulpit are beginning to enjoy more than a local fame. He throws Fulton and Talmage completely in the shade for eccentric ity. The subjects of his sermons are announced beforehand in the newspa pers and on the dead-walls, and are snch as ‘Cremation,’ ‘Paul’s “ Skoo- Fly,” ’ ‘ Who’s Your Hatter ?’ ‘ Pop ping the Question,’ and ‘All Aboard for Heaven, with Pick for Conductor of the Train.’ He draws vast crowds to see him gesticulate and tear passion to tatters at the sacred desk, and it is related of him that on one occasion re cently, while in the midst of an impas sioned harangue, he threw one of his leg3 over the top of the pulpit and asked the congregation ‘ How’s that for high ?’ Dr. Talmage never went as far as that.” Tobacco Exemption. Representatives in congress from to bacco raising sections of the country have by persistent effort induced the committee of ways and means to report a bill exempting from tax SIOO worth of tobacco sold by a producer to a con sumer. But there seems to be a strong opposition to this exemption from the commissioner of internal revenue and manufacturers—the one on the ground that it weakens the revenue law on the sales of tobacco, and the other because, as they declare, it will encourage frauds in selling the leaf, and the use of un manufactured tobacco for chewing. EASTMAN TIMES. RATES OF ADVERTISING: space. i in. 3m. 6m. lira. Oue square j, 4 00 | $ 7 oo‘ $lO 00 $ 16 00 Two squares 626 12 00 18 00 25 00 Four squares 9 75! 19 (H! 28 0 39 00 One-fourth col 11 50i 22 50i 34 00 46 00 One-half coL 20 00 32 6(1 55 on 80 00 One column S3 imj f.O IK) 80 oo| 130 Ot Advertisements inserted at the rate of $1.50 per square for the first insertion, and 76 cent* for each subsequent one. Ten lines or kss constitute a square. Professional cards, $15.00 Rpr annum; for six months, SIO.OO, in advance. FACTS AND FANCIES. —The reason why a watch is called a watch is evidently because it is always on its guard. —A matter-of-fact old gentlemau thinks it must boa ve>y small base ball that can be caught on a fly. —A Wisconsin minister has been dis missed from an othodox pulpit because he built a fire under a baulky horse. —A young man of twenty-one hanging to a lamp-post and singing “Father don’t drink anv now,” at midnight, is one of the curious phases of city life. —lt is estimated that in Faris there has been an average of three suicides a day for the past year. During the win ter the suicides occured at the rate of four a day. —A good little Bangor.bpv refused tn nycii t-iaci, Dt'caiise had signed the pledge. That excuse hadn’t the requi site thickness, and the boy was sent to his seat to learn his lesson. —An eastern poet gives this parting advice to the bridgegroem : “ Be allers kind, and never say • shall,’ And do what you can tew please her. For she’s a hum-bred ’Alerican cal, And the che-i-ldof our hum-bred Caesar.” —To see how eagerly a human being will catch at a straw, it is not necessary to witness a drowning. The phenome non is now manifest chiefly within sa loons, where one end of the straw is immersed in a tumbler. —A modern satirist says that an in dolent man, who has overspent his in come and lives on the principal, is like Heine’s monkey, who was found one day hilariously seated by the lire and eook ing his own tail in a copper kettle for dinner. —“ X’a” don’t amount to anything on oyster cans or barrels of flour. They liavo got so they put fifty pound rocks in a barrel of flour and then paint live x’s 011 the head, though the x-tra busi ness could all be done in a minute by the man who finds the stone. —A Detroiter who removed to Lone Tree, Neb., a year or two ago, writes to a tobacco house in that city to send him five pounds of “fine-cut” by express, adding; “I am a candidate for sheriff of this county, and I think by a judicious use of five pounds of good tobacco I can secure tw T o hundred majority.” —Kate Field, in her letters about Spain, gives us the following moral re flection as the result of her study of Spanish human nature : “Itis a great mistake to think that good people are the most light-hearted and contented. They are bothered by conscience and worried about everlasting salvation.” —Fashion has decreed that the day of the blondes lias come to an end, and that bruuettes are now in style. This is the kind of weather to color up with. Stay out of doors for half an. hour or so every day, and you will be fixed for all summer. This is a cheaper and simpler prescription than the olive pow der coming into vogue. —The following verse is said to be the flight which prompted Tennyson to call Joaquin America’s greatest poet : Alone and sad I sat me down To read on Rousseau’s narrow isle, Below Geneva. Mile on mile, And set With many a shining town, Tow’red Dent du Midi danced the wave Beneath the moon. Winds went and came, And fanned the skara into a flame. 011 Rosseau’s isle, in Rousseau’s shade, Two pink and spicy drinks were made; In classic shade, on classic ground, We stirred two cocktails round and round. —A very pleasant perfume, and also a preventive against moths, may bo made of the following ingredients: Take cloves, carraway seeds, nntmeg, mace, cinnamon, and tonquin beans, of each one ounce; then add as much Florentine orris root as will equal the o her ingredients put together. Grind the whole to a fine powder, put it in silk cotton filled bags, and place among clothes, etc. —A Philadelphia broker, worth at one time a quarter of a million of dol lars, is now peddling books for a liveli hood. He derives his largest income from a thrilling brochure entitled “A Programme of the Philadelphia Centen nial.” Persons whom lie import ui ei to buy a copy promptly knock him down, and he recovers from five to ten dollars from each of them in an action for as sault and battery. —The president of Guatamala has forbidden the clergv of that republic to wear the clerical ‘dress except when they are engaged in the performance of their ecclesiastical functions, and has closed all the convents but one, that of St. Catharine, the nuns of the abolished convents, one hundred and forty in number, having the option of either en tering the convent of St. Catharine or returning to civil life. —Directions were given by tko Uni ted States senate the other day to have a spot designated in the eanitol grounds for the equestrian statue of Gen. Greene, “in comt'ormity with the resolution of the continental congress, passed in 1786.” There was no occasion to hurry about it. It is not a, hundred years yet since the resolution was passed, and who cares a continental what the conti nental congress resolved, anyhow? —The Nevada Journal, relates this incident: “Miss Bradford has a boy in her school who combines keen per ception with ready speech. The other dav, while endeavoring to explain the difference in waterfalls —not the kind that makes the ladies round-shouldered, but the waterfalls of natu e —she gave the class to understand that a large waterfall was a cataract. “Now,” said she, “ What is a little waterfall ?” “ Kittyract,” blurted out a tow-headed youngster, who sat chewing the corner of his primer on the front seat. —A smart city billiardist picked up a countryman, and induced him to play a game of billiards —one hundred points. The city boy took the cue and ran the game out without a stop. The country man quietly laid down his cue and started for the door. Said the billiard ist, “ He re, come back and pay for this game,” “What game?” said country. “Why, the game we just played.” “We ?” said the countryman ; “we ? I haint p’ayen no 1 ill ards a:- I knows of. I guess, mister, see’n as you played the game alone, you’d better pay for it alo’ o!” W'i reat the countryman walk and cutfand the smart city boy cogi tateu.