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VOLUME VI.
FIVE.
“Bat a week is so long!” he said,
"With a toss of his curly head.
“One, two, three, four, live, six, seven !
Seven whole days! Why, in six, you know'
(Ynu said it yourself—you told rue so),
'i he great God up in heaven
Made nil the earth and the seas and skies,
The trees and the birds and the butterflies!
How can I wa t for my seeds to grow?”
“But a month is so long!” he said,
With a droop of his boyish head.
“Hear me count-one, two, three, four—
Four whole weeks and three days more;
Thirty-one days, and each will creep
As the shadows crawl over yonder steep;
Thirty-one nights, and I shall lie
Watching the stars climb up the sky!
How can 1 wait till a mouth is o’er?”
“But a year is long!” he said,
Uplifting his bright young head.
“All the seasons must come and go
Over the lulls with footsteps slow'—
Autumn and winter, summer aud spring;
Oli, for a bridge of gold to fling
Over the clin-in deep and wide,
That I might crosslo the other side,
Where is waiting—my love, my bride!”
“Ten years may be long,” he said,
blow raising his stately head,
“Hut there’s much to win,there is much to lose;
A man must labor, a man must choose.
And he must be strong to wail!
The years may be long, but who would wear
't he crown of honor must do aud dare!
No time hath he to toy w'ith fate
Who would climb to manhood’s high estate!”
“Ah! life is not long!” he said,
Bowing his grand v> hite head.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
Seven times ten are seventy.
Seventy years! As swift their flight
As swallows cleaving the morning Tght,
Or golden gleams at even.
Life is short us a summer night—
llow long, O God! is eternity?”
— !
MISCELLANY.
ONLY A PRIVATE.
BY EMMA BEARD, AGED 12 YEARS.
“Tliis way, Miss Pearl, ami see that
1 don’t lose you in the crowd,” said
handsome Fred Raynurn,‘laughingly
as he elbowed his way through the
confusion of hackmen, police and trav
elers that prevented h s reaching tin*
northern cars.
Pearl obeyed orders, laughing sly
ly, as she thought, ‘What a figure my
new gray poplin will be by the time I
get to a seat.’ But just as they near
ed the cars she noticed in front of
them a soldier upon crutches, in an old
and faded uniform who was vainly
endeavoring to push his way through
the crowd.
Now/ quoth kind little Pearl, ‘l’ll
make Fred help that poor fellow a lit
tle.’ So in a half whisper to Fred :
‘Mr. Rayburn, don’t you think that
soldier in front ol us needs a helping
hand ? Let me take your left arm
while you assist him with your right
to the platform/
‘Nonsense, Mss Pearl. He is only
s me poor devil of a private, aud us and
to getting along by himself, I’ll war
rant. A jump now/ as they neared the
car, “and you are all :ight.’
An indignant Hush mounted Pearl’s
lace, as she sprung lightly upon the
platform, and regardless of her escort’s
stopped a moment before entering the
car to see how “the private” fared.—
At that moment a robust female, la
den with the usual ‘big box, little box,
band-box and bundle,’ passed by him
so suddenly that his right crutch fell
to the ground, lie staggered a mo
ment, then stood still unable to bend
his wounded limb and recover his
crutch.
‘Such a shame/ and Pearl was of)' in
a moment, and the soldier saw a lovely
Hushing face as she picked up tin'
crutch and handed it to him. “I hope
you are net hurt,’ she said. ‘Come
right upon the platform/ and she of-
Lred her hand to assist him.
‘Miss Pearl, what are you about V
asked her astonished escort,
‘You ought to be ashamed of your
self,’ was the reply as she coolly hand
ed the soldier up the platform as well
as Rayburn could have done. Then
entering the car in a small tempest of
Wrath, she swept her shawl anJ bas*
ket from the window where Fred bad
placed them, and motioning the stran
ger to the seat, she sat down beside
him.
Ihe discomfitted young man was
obliged to seek a seat elsewhere, while
Pearl coolly took up a book and com
menced to read, not, however, without
Poticing the amused glance front the
blue eye of the soldier, or the daggers
with which young Rayburn was watch
ing her.
Ihe fact was, Fred was terribly
smitten, both with the charms of Pearl
Kellogg and her fortune, for Pearl
was a beauty and an heiress, and
owned a fine establishment in New
York, matronized by her aunt, a gay
widow of five and forty. Fred’s suit
had gone on smoothly enough, and he
had fully determined that this leafy
nn nth of July was to decide it all. So
his heart beat high when he was asked
by Mrs. Kellogg to join their “select”
party at \\ est Point, by escorting
Miss Pearl there, on her return from a
sojourn in the Eastern States.
‘Well/ soliloquized he, ffs the trgin
moved out from the depot, and Pearl
sat wralhfully reading, never vouch
safing him a stray look, ‘what an odd
ity she is 1 The idea of making so
much of a high old p ivate like this
one/glancing contemptuously at the
faded uniform,
‘lndeed !’ quoth Pearl to herself.
‘Fred Rayburn has no more soul than
a mosquito, nor half as much feeling
as my dog Fidele. Pil teach him to
be a little more respectful to a wound
ed soldier. I suppose he is like all the
rest who stay at home, doing nothing
but dancing attendance on toe girls,
just as though we did not see through
it all. Oh, it I were a man Pd give
Fr“d Rayburn a piece of my mind/
Here the car drew up at West Point
and Pearl, turning to Fred for the first
time, asked in her coldest tones, ‘Mr.
Rayburn, will you be kind enough to
help t is gentleman off the cars ?’—
putting such a marked emphasis on
tin; “gentleman” that her meaning
could not be misinterpreted. Fred com
plied with but poor grace, however,
and on going back for Pearl, met her
getting into a carriage in waiting,
vvh cli contained several of her friends.
On seeing him she merely bowed, gave
the liackman her number, and gave the
order to drive on.
On reaching the hotel she was sur-
]> is( (1 to find her friend Rosin Hows
aid, whom she supposed to be travel
ing in Europe.
‘Oh, Rosie, I am so glad you are
here. Now you must go to my room,
and we will have a good talk while I
am dressing for tea/
Accordingly the girls retired, and
just as the tea hell rang, Rosie ex
claimed :
‘lhere, I forgot to tell you about
Mr. Spurgeon —Maj. Spurgeon—of the
—th New York volunteers. Why, he
is the hero of West Point. Never
mind you shall see and judge for your
self/
By tliis time they had reached the
dining-room, and as they took their
seats, a handsome officer approached
Rosilea with an exquisite boquet,
which he presented to her. She thanked
him, and then turning to Pearl said :
‘.Miss Kellogg, let me present my
friend, Maj. Spurgeon/ He was a
splendid, soldierly looking fellow with
his right arm in a sling.
‘So yon are here at last, Miss Kel
logg ?’ sard the Major as lie seated him
self, and 1 egan to stir his tea rather
awkwardly with his left hand. ‘1 have
heard Miss Howard counting the days
for a week past, and got to speculat
ing at last myself upon your arrival.—
Thank you/ as Pearl put out her hand
just in time to save his cup from fall
ing. ‘I am so exceedingly awkward
that I have to make a series of apolo
gies all the time ; and yet one would
think I ought t > be used to it now/
glancing at his sling as he spoke.
Wes/ said Miss Howard, with a mis
chievous laugh. ‘Maj. Spurgeon, you
have ruined two silks and one muslin
for me already, and yet, do 3 on know,
I believe you are sometimes half glad
of that wound, for it gives you an op
portunity of bestowing such generous
praise on a friend/
‘Such a friend I’ cried the Ma jor en
thusiastically, then checking himself ;
“but Miss Rose is quizzing me now.
She lias heard the story once too of
ten/
‘But I have not/ said Pearl eager
ly, ‘and if the story is connected with
that wound nothing can give me
greater pleasure than to hear all about
it/
‘Ah ! you should see him to appre
ciate my story —tliis friend of mine,
llay La’wrence. Ilis family is bound
to mine by the strongest tie known—
true friendship. Ray and I were school
mates and fast friends, but about two
years ago we quaireled, I do not hesi
tate to say it was my fault. But I
never knew how much my fault until
lately. How I loved the dear old fel-
low through it all ! The war broke
out ; they gave me a commission of
Captain first ; then I rose until I am
uow Major as you see. When Captain
I was greatly surprised one day to see
Ray in the ranks as a private, and if
i had not been so very proud I would
have made up at first; but I didn’t,
and the ice grew harder day by day
After a while I was promoted to Ma
jor, and our regiment went through
some hard fighting at Ball's Blufl and
Leesburg. I used to wonder why Ray
was not promoted, but did not know
he had been offered a commission twice
and refused, preferring to work his
way up in the ranks Then I began
to fairly long for my old comrade, but
was too stubborn to nuke the first
advances. Then came the battle of
Williamsburg, but our regiment was
in reserve anil not engaged. Then
that day ot Fair Oaks. Oh ! what a
charge under the gallant Howard !’
and Lis eyes flashed at the recollection.
'Our regiment was ordered to take a
battery; the Colonel was down, our
Lieutenant Colonel killed, so I led.—
In the thickest of the fight I noticed
someone fighting at my side, and
looking saw Ray. The Tenth Georgia
was coming down on us at a run, and
I knew it was an even chance if we
ever came out alive. I wrung his
hand hard. He threw his arms around
me with the old boyish love. ‘God
bless you, dear fellow !’ I said, and
then we were at it I got along very
well, until one lmge fellow set at me
and gave me a pretty severe cut in
the head. The regiment with thinned
ranks was slowly falling back, and I
heard Bay say:‘Are you mad, Frank?’
My sword-arm fell disabled it my side.
Three Georgians were upon me. I ex
pected death, and I don’t know how it
happened, but they say Ray shot one
with his pistol, aud bayoneted the oth
ers, and then carried mo off the field
himself. But the worst of it was
when he was carrying me off’ he re
ceived a dangerous wound in the thigh,
aid when I came to myself I was ly
ing in Ray’s arms, with his blood
streaming over me.’
‘Did he live?’ asked Pearl with lip
quivering and eyes full of tears.
Wes, thank God ! he ; s slowly re
covering, and was on sick leave the
Adjutant wrote mo. I wish he were
lu re ; I would like to show you areal
hero. In the meantime the tea grows
cold/ said lie, changing the subject.
Now, Pearl Lad a surpassingly love
ly voice, and after some coaxing, Maj.
Spurgeon led her to the piano. Some
how gay songs would not come, so
“Auld Robin Gray’’ was rendered in a
way very creditable to Pearl, and she
was led in triumph from the piano at
its close ; and taking Maj. Spurgeon’s
arm for a promenade on the piazza,
was surprised to hear from that officer
as he darted from her side, ‘Good
heavens ! Ray, my dear fellow, what
cloud did you drop from ?’
Pear) didn’t wait any longer ; and
with a cry of astonishment darted up
to her room, and having reached that
sanctum, buried her face and began
to cry.
So Rosilea found her, and then, of
course, the whole story had to come
out. I wonder if I need to go any fur
ther. However, my readers won’t for
give me if I don’t tell how Poail ‘struck
her colors’ In about six months Fred
Rayburn left the field, furious at his
rejection, by going back to the city.
It happened this way : One bright,
moonlight night- Ray picked up cour
age to tell her how much ho loved her,
and asked it she would be his own lit
tle wife, when she answered, ‘Yes,
Ray/ as soberly as any wee maiden
could, and then surprised him bv burst
ing into tears a moment after, which
he kissed away ; and when a*ked the
cause, Pearl replied, ‘Oh, how I hated
Fred when he treated you so that da)’.'
So it was that Pearl became a bride
in October ; and if you go to B
now and look in the bottom of a little
little trunk in a closet up stairs, you
will find a fa led uniform ; and if you
ask Pearl what it is saved for, she
will answer right away, “ Oh, that is
to remind me of when Ray was ‘Only
a Private.’ ”
Two enraged duellists met upon the
dark and bloody ground. Just as
their swords are about to be handed to
them the first enraged duelist, in a
voice trembling with suppressed bra
very, said: ‘One of us two must remain
on this field.’ ‘Your talking/ says
the second enraged duellist. ‘And it
shall be you/ says the first enraged
duelist, ‘for I’m going.’ (Goes with
the velocity of a quarter-horse.)
EASTMAN, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, JUNE 27, IS7S.
How We Treat Our Brains.
Almost daily I am in contention with
parents and guardians, schoolmasters
and schoolmistresses, clergymen and
professors, youths and maidens, boys
and girls, concerning the right way of
building up the young bra n, of ripen
ing the adult brain, and of preserving
the brain iu age. Grievously ill do
we take in hand to deal with this del
icate member, and well is it innate de
velopment overruns our schemes and
and brings the variety of natural good
out of the monotony of human folly.
It is dimly felt by society that the
reign of bone and muscle i.} over, and
that the reign of brain and nerve is
taking its place. Even the Gibeonites
now have the hydraulic ram and the
steam felling machine; the spectacled
General of forces fights in Ins tent by
click of battery and wire, and his
Lieutenant hoists an ironclad by the
touch of two buttons upon his waist
coat; the patient earth forgets the
tread of horse and ox, and is plowed
by steam, and ere long, no doubt, 01m
ministers will wind sermons out of
barrel-organs, and our morning egg
will be broken by a wafer of dynamite.
Hence it. cones that all classes are for
‘education!’ The village grocer’s son
goes to a 'theological college,’ and sits
up by night over his ‘evidences’ with
green tea in his blood and a wet cloth
about his brows. The gardener’s
daughter pulls roses no more, and has
become ap ipil teacher; she is chlorotic
at IG, and broken spirited at 20. The
country parson’s son goes to a c’vil
service or a navy ‘coach/ is plucked in
his teens, and is lefi to begin life again
with an exhausted brain ami an incu
rable megrim; nay, even the sons of
peers are putting on the armor of light,
and are deseiting the field for the
counting house. To meet this demand,
colleges of all kinds and degrees spring
up—middle-class seminaries, theolog
ical colleges, colleges of science, uiv
versity boards—even the old universi
ties themselves are stirring from their
scolarly ease, are sending out mission
aries in part thus, and are cramming
the youth of twenty counties in the
ait of making m -st show with least
learning. AH this, in a way, no doubt,
must be and should be; but so sudden
a volte-face cannot be made without a
wrench, and it is my desire now to see
where the strain will tell, and how to
perform our social evolution with the
least injury to persons. —Dr T. C. All
butt, in Popular Science Monthly for
June.
Far More liust Out Than Wear
Out.
Let every lazy school-boy and Hie
parents thereof read the following sen
sible and plainly spoken suggestions
and thoughts:
In the school, as in the world, far
more rust out than wear out Study
is most tedious and wearisome to those I
who study least. Drones always j
have the toughest times. Grum
blers make poor scholars, and their
lessons are uniformly ‘b ird* and ‘too
long.’ The time and thought expend
ed in shrinking would be ample to
master their tasks. Sloth, gorman
dizing and worry kill thousands, where
over-study harms one. The cu"se of
Heaven rests on laziness and gluttony.
By the very constitution of our being,
they are fitted to beget that torpor
and despondency which chill the bloo 1,
deaden the nerves, enfeeble the mus
scles, and derange the whole vital
machinery. Fretting, fidgeting ennui,
and anxiety, aie among the most com
mon causes of disease. On the other
hand, a high aspiration and enthusiasm
help digestion and reap latiun, and
send an increased supply ot vital encr
gv to all parts of the body. Courage
aud work invigorate the whole system,
and lift one into a purer atmosphere,
above the reach of contagion. The
lazy groan most over their ‘arduous
duties/ while earnest workers talk lit
tle about the exhausting labors of their
profession. Of all creatures, the sloth
would seem to be most worried and
worn.
The latest yarn about fast railroad
time is to the effect that on a certain
road a young man put his head out ol
the car window to kiss his girl good
by, when the train pulled out so rap
idly that he kissed an old African fe
male at the next station.
A young lawyer, who had been ad
mitted about a year, was asked by a
friend: ‘How do you like your new
profession?’ The reply was accompa
nied with a brief sigh to suit the oc
casion: ‘My profession is much better
than my practice/
Labor Conducive to Long Life.
In view of the short duration of life
entailed by some occupations, it must
be regarded as a consoling, yea, a
sublime fact, that labor in general does
not tend to shorten life ; but, on the
contrary, by strengthening health,
lengthens life ; while, on the other
hand, idleness and luxury are produc
tive of the same results as the most
unhealthy occupations. Dr. Guy, an
Englishman, in calculating the aver
age duration of life in the wealthy
classes, arrived at the very surprising
result, with regard to adults, that the
higher the position in the social scale,
the more unlimited their means, the
less the probability of a longer life.
Wo have so long been accustomed
to consider the possession of riches
the best guarantee for physical welfare
that many will be surprised to hear
from Guy that “the probability of the
duration of life lessens, with regard to
adults in each class of population in
the same degiee as the beneficial im
pulse for occupation is lacking. If a
person who for a long time has lived
in active life retires from business, it
may be taken for granted, with a
probability of ten to one, that he has
seized the most effective means to
shorten his life.” We may smile at
the soapmaker, who, after having for
mally retired from business, went,
nevertheless, on each day of soap-boil
ing, to his workshop; but it must also
be acknowledged that his instinct did
not mislead him. Ot all conditions of
life, idleness is the hardest for nature
to combat. This is especially true of
persons who have accustomed them
selves to a busy life-
Brain Stimulant.
The best possible thing for a man to
do when he feels too weak to carry
anything through, is to go to bed and
sleep as long as ho can. This is the
only recuperation of brain-power, the
only actual recuperation of brain-force;
because during sleep the brain is in a
state of rest, in a condition to receive
and appropriate particles of nutriment
from the blood, which take the place
ol those which have been consumed
by previous labor, since the very act
ol thinking burns up solid particies'as
every turn of the wheel or screw of
the steamer is the result of consump
tion by fire of the fuel in the furnace.
Tne supply of consumed brain sub
stance can only 7 be bad from the nu
tritive particles in the blood which
were obtained from the food and eaten
previously, and the brain is so consti
tuted that it can best receive and ap
propriate to itself those nutritive par
ticles during the state of rest, of quiet
and stillness of sleep. Mere stimulants
supply nothing in themselves ; they
goad the brain, and force it to a great
er consumption, of its substance, until
it is so exhausted that there is not
power enough left to receive a supply.
—Herald of Health.
All Immense Evil ami the
Remedy.
‘An ounce of prevention is worth a
pound of cure/ says the old proverb.
Let us apply it to temperance. Along
line of reeling, staggering candidates
for perdition, 150,000 in number one
after another, through the year drop
out of sight and memory. And stilt
the death march goes on. Is there any
way to prevent it ?
Why, certainly. Drunkards grow
from moderate drinkers, and moder
ate drinkers from the untaught, or
wrongly educated children of our
homes. There is a point where the
stop can be put on, and that is in the
home. Every parent is responsible
for the intemperance of his child, if he
has not by example and precept done
everything possible to prevent it.
It parents would take as much pains
to form a pure healthful taste in their
children as they now 7 take, truly
though sometimes unconsciously, to
form a taste for stimulants, we should
see fewer entering the path that leads
to the drunkard’s grave.
If Adam could for ten minutes come
to life, would he recognize the old
place, the same old city lots, the same
old lemons, oranges, figs, elephants,
snakes, dandelions, pie plant, pea
nuts, sassafras and persimmons that
he used to name up and chalk down ?
All would be gone. lie would recog
nize naught. But if he happened to
wander into the negro minstrels he
could hear the same old jokes.
On Gunning.
“Coo!, fresh air is better than pills ;
tramps through the woods far bttter
than squills ; better for aches and bet
| tor for ills, than quinine by the pound;
1 what is tliH odds if you soil your clothes
ior scratch the delicate end of your
nose in dodging a brier that lazily
1 grows in your path on the hunting
j ground. Carrying a gun that is heavy
as lead, an l looking aloft for the bird
that’s fled to another tree, where it oft
has fed, and thanks in song it gave ;
with bended neck and bended back,
until they're ready to split and crack,
1 (in gunning that's the secret knack)
;to creep like an Indian brave. Mos
i quitoos buzz and perch and bite, and
spiders spin their webs so light ; Mis
the gunner‘s pleasure—pure delight ;
far better than going to fish from ear"
ly morn till dewy eve ; tired to death
(who would believe) and loth the si
lent woods to leave to t dee his home
ward way; hungry, footsore, weary
and worn, better by far he’d never
been born; dusty, grimy and forlorn,
and nary a bird that day.'
A Characteristic Letter.
A few weeks ago, when Mark Twain
was in this State, lie purchased a cal
endar clock. Soon after his arrival
home he sent the following note to the
dealer :
Dear sir : The cl >ck refuses to strike,
but I am not particular about that.—
She runs faster than necessary, but I
can regulate that. She doesn't change
the day of tne week and the month
until noon ; but if she will stick to
that, so I can depend on her, she will
not perplex me by giving her yester
days an extra twelve hours. I always
did think the yesterdays were too
short, anyway. I enclose check.
S. L. Clemmexs.
September 22 —Clock is all right
no vv.
Proper Speed for Circular Saws.
Nine thousand feet per mi..me—that
is, nearly two miles per minute for the
rim of a circular saw to travel may be
laid down as a rule. For example : A
saw 12 inches in diameter, 3 feet round
the rim, 3000 revolutions ; 24 inches
in diameter G feet around the rim,
1500 revolutions ; 3 feet in diameter,
or 9 feet around the rim, 1000 revolu
tions ; 4 feet in diameter, or 12 feet
around the rim, 750 revolutions ; 5
feet in diameter, or 15 feet around the
rim, GOO revolutions. The rim of the
saw will run a little faster than tins
rec koning, on account of the circum
ference being more than throe times as
large as the diameter. Shingle and
some other saws, either rivited to a
.cast iron collar or very thick at the
center and thin at the rim, may be run
with safety at a greater speed.—Lum
berman's Gazette.
A Valuable Product.
A wondeiful product, known as beg
gars weed or beggars lico has engaged
the attention of agriculturists in por
tions of Florida and Southwestern
Georgia. Experiments male with the
plant are said to have demonstrated
its great value as as a fertilizer of the
soil, as pasturage and a forage. It is
found by analysis, to contain proper
tiss which render it palatable and nu
trieious. Stock of every species feed
upon it in preference to any other pro
duct, and fatten rapidly from its use.—
\s a miik producer it is saidto be su
perior to all oilier plants. It grows
luxuriantly on even ordinary soil, fre
quently reaching to a height of eight
feet, completely covering the land
wit dense shade. It grows up so rap-
I idly that three fuil crops of hay are
| fequently produced during the same
1 season. When ouce set on land there
is no necessit}’ for re-sowing, or re
planting except in instances where the
object of culture is it3 extermination.
From eight to ten thousand pounds of
hay at each cutting are the estimated
[ product of one acre sown in this plant.
We have seen reports in detail, of
I many experiments made with this pro
duct, and must regard it introduction
; info Georgia a subject of great impor
t tance, especially to that section where
clover and the grasses will not prove
successful. Gentlemen of undoubted
veracity declare that as a fertilizer oi
renovator of poor or exhausted soils,
it lies no equal, and that 1 rnd which
will not produce five bushels of corn
) per acre, will in two years after the
beggars weed is first set upon it, yield
four times that quantity. Persons de
siring information on this subject can
address Capt. E. T. Davis, Thomas
ville, Ga.
Dropping a privateer—Weeping in
secret.
‘‘ The jig's up/' were the last words
of the man who died of St. V itus’ dance.
‘Euthanasia’ means an easy death;
but youth in Africa means sure death
—for the missionary.
I rom a boy‘s composition on hens—
“l cut my uncle William's hen's head
off and it scared her to deatn.'
Nobody can tell how many disputes*
for the front side of the bed have been
settled by moving the bedstead in the
centre of the room.
You may chew, you may swallow the
clove if you will,
But the scent of your breath is the scent
of the “still."
* - ■
A Harrisburg paper informs us that
‘when a gentleman and lady are walk
ing upon the street, the lady should
walk inside of the gentleman.’
The thin, pious man, who is contin
ually groaning over the wickedness of
the is more troubled with dys
pepsia than blessed by religion.
A woman was offered a thousand
dollars if she would remain silent two
hours. At the end of fifteen minutes
she asked, ‘lsn't the time nearly up?'
Regular old rounders now carry
canes with crooks for handles. With
such a handle the owner can hang his
canc on his arm while he works a
lunch tabic.
“Polonaises still hold on."—Ex.
Young ladies will be delighted to learn
that this is the case, for it must be very
embarrassing to have them drop ofi—
in the street especially.
—
Elizabeth Allen, in a poem asks :• —
“Oh, willow, why forever wtep?"
Elizabeth is a little mistaken as to the
facts. It isn't the willow that weeps
it is the boy who dances under the
limber end of it.
‘lt was simply an informal affair,'
wrote the editor of a strawberry party
at a neighbor’s house. ‘lt tvas simply
an infernal affair,’ read the compositor,
and that editor will not get any more
invitations from that quarter.
There is no truth in men,' said a
lady in company; ‘they are like musi*
cal instruments, which sound a variety
of tones.' ‘ln other words, madame,'
said a wit who chanced to be present
‘you believe that all men are lyres.’
According to the tables in arithme
tics, four roods make one acre, but wc
have known one acker to one rude.
The aclier was on his foot, and his
friend trampled on it. It was an acker
of corn, as it were, and thcrefter the
friend was cornered.
Though tough and thick is the orange
rind,
And its bitterness wrings out a sigh,
If you go on with your kna wing you'd
find
That you'll come to the sweet by
and-by.
A Kansas gentleman has thought
fully put his front gate in the parlor,
so that bis daughter and her young
man can swing on it without taking
cold during the cold weather. This
is a humane suggestion to all fathers.
A front gate in the parlor may save a
good many dollars that would other
wise be paid out for soothing syrups
and balsams.
He was an entire stranger to the
girls present, and the boys were mean
and wouldn’t introduce him. lie fi
nally plucked up courage,and stepping
up to a young lady, roqusted the pleas
ure of her company for the
She looked at him in surprise, *nd in
formed him she had not the pleasure
of his acquaintance. ‘Well/ remarked
Cazenovia, ‘yui don't take any more
chances than 1 do.’
xo. 26.