Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

volume vir. the auk of slang. It wasn't ho when I was young— We ihpil plainer language then; We didn’t speak of "them galoot a’ 1 W hen meaning boys Or mem When spanking of the nice hand*write Of Joe; or Tom, or Bill, We did it plain—we didn’t nay, "He slings a nasty quid.” And when we miW a girl we liked. Who never tailed to please, Vv'e willed het pretly, neat and good, But not “about the cheese. ” Well, when we met a good old friend We hadn’t lately seen, We greeted him, but didn’t say, “Hello, you old sardine. ” Tlie boys Hometimes got mad and fit; We spoke of kicks and blows; But now they “whack him on the snoot,” Or “paste him ou the none." Ollce, When a youth was turned away By h r lie held most dear, He walked upon liis feet—but now He “walks off on his ear." We used to dance when I was young, And used to call it so; But now they don’t—they only “sling The light fantastic toe." Of death we spoke in language plain, That no one did perplex; But in these days one doesn't dio He “passes in his checks." Wo praised the man of common sense; “His judgment’s good,” we said; But now we say, “Well, that old plum Has got4i level head.” It’s r itliei sad the children now Aire ilea ruing all such talk; They’ve learned to “chin" instead of “chat, And “waltz" imitead oi walk. To little Harry yesterday— My grandchild, aged two— I avid, “You love grandpa/*" Said lie, “You hot your boots I do. ’ The children bowed to strangers once; It is no lunger so 'Hie little girls, as well as boys, Now preet each other with “Hello.!” Oh, give me back the good old days, When both the ot.l and young Conversed in plain old fashioned words, And slang was never “slung." MISCELLANY. ADVERTISING for a WIPE From a Bacholor’s Note Book. HY CRL CANTAB. “Dobbs f " h-4i i ‘my intimate friend, Fred Hopkins, hr wo sat together one ! evening in my cosy bachelor’s apart ment at the house of my Aunt Pt-ne lope, with whom I board, “Dobbs if it? is not an importinet question, will you tell me your age. ‘Certainly/ seid 1 ; Mam twenty, sever, or shill be if 1 live to see Octo ber/ *\ ery well,’ said Tne, ‘and how does it happen that you have reached such a mature age and have not married ? Did you reflect how pleasant it would be to sit by your fireside, with your wife opposite and perhaps two or three htt 1 crowding around you ?’ Am] a* you never reflect V I return ed, ‘on the pleasure of being kept awake all night, baby crying, wife scolding, coming down in the morning tiied and sleepy to a comfortless meal, prepared by an unskillful servant ?-r Hut to answer you iu serious earnest, I have thought of marriage. There is but one object 0:1/ 'What is that V 1 should never have the courage to pop the and il I did I don't think l could find any 011 c wiling to have me/ ‘Pooh! my dear fellow, this is per fect folly. Faint heart ne’er won fair lady. Depend upon it, there are hun d eds who would jump at the chance of becoming Mrs. Dobbs/ 1 shook my head iucreduously. As 1 shall make pursued l'X'd, authoritively, ‘by referring to statistics. According to the last cen sus, the numb r of females in Massa chusetts was found to outnumber the I l( y 68,000. From which we may ■ infer that more than sixty thousand of It he opposite sex me destined to sin- Jlgle blessedness. 'Well !' said I. ■ Don’t you see, theref re, that this ■arge number will be old maids from keoessuy, not horn choice, and would -ipmba!dy take nj> the first offer ? COll seqtiently you hive sixty thousand chftnces to marry. i his was certainly a startling 1 con clusion. ‘But consider my bashfulness. ‘I have ’ thought of that/ said lie, 'and would advice you under the cir cumstances to adVctise fol* a wife.— That, you see, would obviate all diffi culties, Shall 1 draw one up for you? C msidering that such a proceeding would not necessarily hind me to mat 1 riinony, I consented, and Fred placed hefoic me for my approbation the fol lowing : “W ike \\ anted ! —A young gentle man of quiet ad un issutn ng manners •oid good tnor and character, is d< sit’ms of seCm* ng a partner lot life, He is engaged .11 mercantile pursuit, which, >tllofd him a moderate inc me. Any owe who may deem it worth their whih may hear further portieul os bv nd dresß'iig A, 8.0.,b0x55. Post-Office/ This document being Considered on the whole, sufficiently exp i if, 1 car** ried it next morning to the office of a daily paper. 'A friend of mine/ said I, not caring to identify myself with the ‘Gentleman in search of a Y\ ife/ wishes this ad' vertisement inserted in your paper.— How many times will it probably be necessiny to insert it?* * Three times/ said the clerk, ‘will he amply sufficient. ‘Tnat sort of ad vertisement/ lie added smiling sig nificantly,' never fails to receive early attention. I Ini I resolve 1 not to open any let ters uiitii the end of the three days on Which the mt was to ap pear. I 8/oit to the office three times a daVj and never failed to receive a letter lor A. 11. 0. On the third • veiling,.when Fred and I sat down to examine the pile tli.it had accumulated in my let tel-case, w<; counted l<>rty-seven ! ”Didu 1 I tell you, Dobbs/ said Fred laughing, ‘that then* was stdl a chance fixr you ? And now let us plunge into the midst of thugs, for vve have a night's work before us. It was a motley collection—no less .arious in otitwar 1 appearance than in character of thee intents. Some were inclosed ,11 envel pos, others without. Some of the former were o i delicate cream-laid paper, others were written on a half sheet of common letter pa per, and inclosed ii a brown envelope. Some were scab and with a wafer, press ed ly a thi mbit!, others—'.hose of greater pretensions —were fastened with sealing.wax, or with small inot so-seals, with various devices and in sciiptions. Of these inscriptions I recollect a few, as, ‘Wholly thin / Taithful till death/ ‘\Y r e are wm/ ‘Forget mu not/ etc. Th n for devi ces there was a pair of clasped hands a heart pierced with darts and others of the same character. S me of these letters were irresisti bly ludicrous Oie 1 recollect, was from a Cilifb nii widow, who had heard nothing from her husband f r a year. *As to waiting for him any lon ger,’ she wrote, ‘I don't intend to do it. Most iik *ly lie’s dead, but it it should so happen, which heaven for bid ! th it lie shoul l return after my second marring •, I have no doubt lie could be persuaded to yield bis claims. G here's an affectionate wife f >r vu, su'd bred : ‘lf he should return, which heaven forbid!’ Piss that by.' I shall give entire the next letter, which came in a brown envel >pe, and was directed at the very top to Mi. A. B. C., Esq., in a handwriting executed by fingers plainly more accustomed to the rolling pin than the quill. ‘Mr. A. B. G. ; Dear Sir —Happening to take up the newspaper the other day, 1 saw your advertisement. Didi/t think much of it at the time. After a while 1 happened to think—you must know I keep a boarding house—-that if 1 were married my husband could look alter t'>e marketing, and do the carving for the gentlemen. Now. 1 have to get one of them to do it by boarding him at halt price, fro, thinks Ito my self, as tins seems to be a proper sort ol ina # (judging from the a Ivrtise im nt, of course) l juess I will write and sec what h* thicks about it. My b >a.iding-house is No. 5 Central street —and 1 should be happy to have you come ami take dinner with us to m r -row. To boarders need n<>t know that you have come lor anything par ticular, an 1 then you can see how it suits you. \ ours to c uiiuiatid ‘Polly Stccbs. P. S.—Dinner lioiu at one o'clock, precisely. Pieaso be punctual. 'Mrs. iMubes is a sensible woman, 1 sad b red, after reading the c mimti nicilioii, ‘and a thorougl. Yankee, I’ll be bou *d. She leoks at the practical sid*.* of tliiags, she does. . Shall you take dinner at No. 5 Central street 'N T ot 1. I never could carve decent" ly, as my Aunt Penelope can testily.— But wh t have we here?’ I asked, tak ing up a perfumed note, written in a small hand, which could be deciphered with difficulty. 1 read as follows : “Dear Sir— Or rather, may I not address you as beloved friend”? Yes —yes, Iwi l! Away with the cld convctionalities that would deny me the privilege! Yes, my friend, there a*e some characters that we read at a glance. Yours 1 read in the; terms of your advertisement—so modest, so Concise, so appropriate. 4 Aon must apply that to yourself,* interrupted I, laughing, ‘for you know Fred, you drew up the advertisement. But let me go on. “My boart is drawn i o .you— I blush not to conic ,s it ; I feel that we were made lor each other; 1 have longed for a congenial [spirit—an intimate of the other sex for whom I might live, and to whom I might cling with fond affection. Trusting to hear from vou ere long, I remain Yours in tne closest friendship, Gkorgiana Dai k. ( l will leave Miss Dale to you, Fred, as she has evidently Irllen in love with your not mine. Hope she won't be disappointsd. Si we went through the list. We do not intend to favor the reader with the contents of the forty-seven. One was from a milliner—two from ladies in i educed circumstances—-seven from widows with large families—seventeen from* professional old m lids—the re mainder not i x /licit up n this point. One thing 1 noticed in regard to these letters. None of the ladies who were over twenty, made allusion to their age. From so many w riters I found it dif ficult to select the one who, so far as I could judge, would best sil t me. At length I decided, though with hesita tion, tp answer one from a lady who professed to be gifted with a sweet dis pos tion and domestic tastes, and who moreover., <>wn.)d a small house in the city, with SISOO in radro./d stock I wrote, veiling my real name as she had done, appointing an interview with her at the south part of tin,* com** •non tho next day at ten i/olock. She was to carry a w hite rose in In r hand, and Ia red one---tb it we might thus be ab'e to distinguish each other. Let iik*, before pro ceding further ski tch for you my aunt Penelope Bax ter, with whom 1 boarT'd. *Siie was now* Komewher about fifty years ot age. She had never been very pre possessing in personal appearance. A sharp, wiry nose long and thin, eyes, and compress and mouth were my aunt's characteristics, physically. She was a good worn m in the main, though somewhat diposed to scold Aunt Penefop * was an ol 1 maid from she said. She often declared she wouldn't marry for any money.— 'Doyou think,’ said ‘that I would tie myself to a husband ank children when I can live independent?' To return. About nine (.'clock the next day, arrayed in my best, Is t, out with palpitating heart for the Com moo. My r s* I kept out ofsigdit, till i arrived at the place designated,when seating myself on one of the benches 1 awaited my unknown visitor. I did not have to wait long. My eye soon caught the figure of a lady ad vancing towards me, with h white rose in her hand. She was thick y veiled , s ) that l coul I not catch a gli npse o her face. She seemed to be b>oki .g around her, doubtless for the Kuig t of the Red Rose. I concealed it until she was close at han I. Summoning all my courage, I rose, an I with a rapid step advanced toward the lady. ‘Kuowest thou this token V pered, presenting the rose. The lady, who had been looking in the opp site turned at the sound of my voice. I was quite unpre pan and for what followed With a slniek of surprise, .-he ‘Rood heavens ! It is Henry 1' What Aunt Penelope said I with a surprise equal to her own. ‘Can it be possible ?’ ‘\es/ she said, trying to recover herself, ‘as it was so pleasant this morn* ■ n g, (*1- very cloudy, and the sun had not made its appearance) Ic.itnc out to visit your Aunt Mary/ ‘But.’ said I, who was determined to eon use Aunt P> nolope as much as possible, ‘I tho glit Aunt Mary lived in quite a different part of the city ‘I thought/ said my aunt, hesitat ingly, ‘that I'd take a walk on the Common first. ‘I see,' -a and I, still tonne.itingly, ‘that you have a while rose lor her.— How kind of you ! By good luck I have a red one. Please present this with the other/ EASTMAN, GEORGIA, THURSDAY. JANUARY 2, 1879. My aunt stammered some unintelli gible answer, took the rose and de* parted—not to my Aunt Mary’s, but homeward. ' I din not meet her at the dinner table. She sen' word that she was in disposed ‘What is the matter V I asked. *1 don’t know/ said Bridget ; ‘sin 's acted uncommon quern* this morning. About eight o'clock sin* sent me down town to get a white ros“. Said she was very particular al) >ut its being a white one. So 1 got it, and she went out about nine. She was very much fluttered like, and ran tight up to her room. My Aunt Perm lope did not s on re cover from the mortification ot that day. It became painful to her to have one continually pivssnt who was ac- 1 quaimed with the circumstances. She s nt for me one morning ami told me j that as her health was poor, and as it was meonuenient to spare a room, she regretted that I would be compelled to seek another boarding-place. My aunt Penelope died about a year since. I had firmly expected to Im her heir. But she never forgave me for my share in the events which I have described. Witness the following item in'her will : “Item.— For my nephew, Henry knowing his partiality lor roses 1 dii ect that a sufficient sum he laid aside to purchase lor him two rose bushes— one white the other red.' It was thought a singular request, but I und rstood it. The house and SISOO invested in railroad shares went to another member of the family. lieade** lam still , unmarried. The first trial was sufficient, and the re maining forty-six letters, against the persuasions of my friend Fred, were consigned to the flames. The red and white i os'-hushes, my aunt’s bequest, stdl graces my bach elor's apaitm nt. Whenever I fed matiimoniaUy inclined, which is not j often, as Ia n over forty, 1 Fok at them—consider—and and *ci !u in the negative. “SHARP.” T F is a favorite term for those who are known to make go >d bargain <, are adepts at reading character and succeed astonishingly in tlu-ir under takings. The leading pecularity of sharp people is that they are fearless in their general ha its of thought and act on. \\ hle the Wary financed* secs where be can make . good invest ment, ami y< t hesitate lest unloruseey events may prove disastrous, the sharp man takes in the whole possibilities and probabilities of the case, and re sdvi s to run the risk; he strikes at once, and t ikes tlie loss or gain. One amasses s vi ral fe tunes apd loses them, while the careful, slow plodde: is steadily accumulating a modest competency. The one is will ng to cross a morass on a dangerous pa h where a false step my submerge him, rather than take the longer route around which so many are traveling; while the other is content with the slower, yet safer, way. 'Thus, looking at it in i’s true light, circumstances alone decide whether one is fortunate t > bel mg to this nervous, adventurous class; the people who cause the fluctu ations of the commercial world, tie rise and fall of stocks, the disastrous fa lures, a id the consequent unrest of more quiet citizens. Like the lightning whose forked tongue leaves a vacuu m in the heavens followed by starting reverberations of thunder, but win se fiery ordeal purifies the atmosphere, making it pure and so the energetic, who would rather annihilate everything than die of in. action, keep public affairs in working order. Not only do they m ike their influence felt iu business affairs, but in g’eat emergencies that require un daunted courage. When timi I pcoule, like cowards, trj,*ad softly in the quiet • t eets, lest their footsteps shall be de tectected in the hour of suspicion or danger, the wide-awake few walk bold ly, and not alone us* their own hands to settle the difficulty, but draw others into serv ee. When Fraud, in dashing style, un daunted, holds tho reins of wealth and power, the masses fall l ack and give tin* lawless freebooter full swav; but the keen eye and witty tongue of the feirless man makes itself known; and wli- n his hands liaxe dethroned the pi tty tyrant, and Justice is again seat ed in her a ci< nt majesty, and resumes ln-r wonted sway, ail | oint with pride to tin* one who ‘*c< uld not he fooled/ Every one of tm* aping crowd know fey have acted a false part} that they have taken the view he look, and would have liked to act as he has act ed, but lacked the manly courage. Asa nation we are shrewd; our sys tem of equal rights throws every one on his own resources: he must either sink or swim. Ilis faculties become acute, for they are in i o stunt demand; he must protect his rights, and he be c iiiea exceedingly practical. We ex pect these quuhiie.- in people, and an* surprised if we do not find them One who is unfortunate enough to be de frauded by another is considered more deserving of blame than pity, because lie is supposed to have had opp n tuni ties to inform aims If. Even the one who lias been dishonor,do eqoiigh to make the ‘h-hurp barg iin/ though des pised e.s a mean man, is secretly admir ed for bis shrewdness. A ‘\sharpei" is the worst kind oi a confidant or ad viser where he can have interested motives, and is perhaps as thourough ly a discontented being as tuere is; but the ease, good natured man, who can never see the people’s real motives and look out for himself, ha- a harder life o it still ‘‘He ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves;’' while, having good intentions towards others, love them as well but no better than yourselves. Starting a Boy. A lonesome-lo iking hoy was vester day hanging around a woodyard in the northern part of the city, when tin owm*r of the yard, having both charity and philanthropy for boys, with tears in the hid why he didn't peddle apples or do s nnethi ig to earn a Tew shillings. The boy replied that lie had no capital and the wood yard man took a nickle and said: ‘Now, my boy, I'm going to start you in fife. Take this nickle and go an 1 make a purchase of something or other. I'll buy it of you lor ten cents, no m liter what it is. C une, now let us see what sort of a business In ad yi u have on you' The boy took fhe nickle and wen* off. but in ten minutes was hack with a gallon jug which iie had purchased with the i.ickle. ‘Well, you are a kmmer/ replied the man. ‘I never sov one of those sold for loss than fifteen emits to any one I want, such a jug, and here n its full price. Go now and lay outyoiK fifteen cents in apples, and I wi 1 buy half your stock.' The boy did not return. Perhaps lie Tell into a sewer somewhere; but you can't mak'* the wood-yard man think so. Win nhe lifted the jug from under thn tsble where the boy had carefully placed it, he found a hole in the bottom large enough to put in a black and tan ten ier. Maternal Affection Touchingly Exemplified. A Pittsburg journal relates tlie fol lowing: 1 lie fact tint all mothers w'..o desert ilie r children arc not heartless, was demonstrated in a touching manner a lew days since at o .e of the institutions for the care of the poor. More than two yetrs since a babe- was found on a door-step, and was handed over to the office's ol ti.e institution. Some Weeks afterward a young woman vis ited the Imu-'e, and S 'cmed to be par* tioul illy in rerested in the we'fare of the infant. She repeated her visits frequently, and as the little one grew it seemed delighted to see her, and was always ready t> be fondled and petted by her When it was ab'e to prattle the f male visitor was particularly de lighted, and during her visits gave the child her undivided attention, A day or two since the visitor again ( mt in an appearance, and the child, while seated in her lan sad, f l do flee von to come; you nurse nv so nice/ She wasuual-lo toe -ntrol hers 'll any long er, end although the matron was p es ent, she hugged the little one close to her breast and g ive way to tens. Ihe visitor told the matron that she was the mother of the child, and that when f-he left it where it was found, it was a question of life or death for ihe n both. She was utterly penniless, and had parted with the babe hoping that it would br tender y cared for and that some day she would be able to reclaim it. She said she found it difficult to remain away from it, and that Iter fre quent visit.*, although ostensibly for another purpose, were made because she could have an opportunity o! nurs ing it. She said she was in e nidition n*w to lake charge of it and the .su perintendent, after making prop t in quiries and giving her some money, allowed her io lake it away. Bob fngersoll on Stingy 3len. I dospis- a stingy man. I don t see how it is possible for a man to dit worth $5,000,000 or $10,000,000. in a city full of want, when he meets every day the withered hand of beggary and the white lips of lamine. How a man can withstand all that, •nd hold in the clutch of his hand $20,- 000,000 or $30,000,000, is past my c m - prehension. I do not see how he can do it. I should th nk he could not do i it any more than he could keep a p le of lumber when hundreds and thous and were drowning in the sei. Do you know I have known men who woul 1 trust their wives with their hearts and t ieir but not with their p >cket ho.iks—not with a dollar. When 1 see a man of that kind, I always think he knows which is most valuable- Think of making your wife a beggar ! Think of her asking 3*oll every day fur a dollar, or to humbly beg fot fifty c nts. “What did you do with that dollar I gave you ?’ Think of having a wife that is afraid of you ! What kind of ch 1 Iren do yon expect to have with a beggar ami a* coward for the r mother ? Oh, 1 tell yon it you have but a dollar in the world, and 3*oll have got to Spend it } spend it as though it were a dry* leaf, and 3*oll the owner of unbounded forests. That's the way to spend it. I had rather be a beggar and spend my 1 ist dollar like a king, than be a king and spend my money like a beggar. It it s got to let it go. Get the best 3*oll ran for your family—and look ns well as you can yourself. When you u>ed to go court ing, lmw nice you looked ! Ah, your c}*e was bright, your step was light, and you just put on the very best you could. Do you know that it is insuf ferable egotism in you to suppose that a woman is going to love y..u always looking bad as you cun. Think of it ! Any w> man on car h wil r\e t ue to you forever when you do your level b s!. Southern Factories. According to a carefully prepuv and statement of Gen. L. P. Walk r, of Alabama, that State has 2,118 facto ries, working 8,2 48 hands, with ;t cap ital invested of $5,714,032, paying an nually in wages $2,227,968, and yield ing annually in products $13,040,644. Florida has 630 factories, Working 2,749 hands, with a capital invested of $1,679,930, paying annually in wages $989,592, and yielding annually in products $4,685,403. Georgia h is 3,846 factories, winking 17,871 hands, with a capital invested of $13,930,125, pay ing in wages $4,844,508, yielding an nually in products $31,196,115. Lou isiana fas 2,557 factories, working 30,071 hands, with a capital invested of $18,3k3,974, paying in wages s4,_ 593,470, yielding annually in products $24,161,905. Mississippi has 1,731 factories, working 5,941 hands, with a capital invested of $4,501,714, paying in wages $1,579,428, yielding annually m products $8,154,758. .South Caro lina has 1,584 factories, working 8,141 hadds, with a. capital invested <>l $5,- 400,418, paying in wages $1,543,715 yielding annually in products $9,858,- 981. Texas has 2,319 factories, woik. ing 7,927 hands, with a capital invest ed of $5,284,110, paying in wages $1 787,835, yielding annually in products $11,517,302. Aggregate number of factories, 14,884; aggregate number of hands < inployed, 80,948; aggregate capital invested, $54,824,303; aggre gate wages paid annually, $17,514,516; aggregate annual value of products* $ 102,6 15,103. —Scientific American. The New Vault. Thu new vault in the Unite,! S ates Sub Treasuiy, in New York City, which has b en prepare 1 lor the sto rage of silver dollars, is fmty-iight feet M length, thirty fc *t in width, and twelve feel in height. Ifevery avail able inch should be packed solidly with 412| grain dollars, it Would hold not far from forty mi bon dollars. Kv ery knows that s Ivor is bulkv, out veiy few are aware how bulky it is. A bag of 1,000 412£ grain dollars we gus 59 3-16 pounds avo rdupoi-. Accord ugly one hundred thousand of these doll,n h weigh not far bom three tons It a merchant or ' anker having a payment ot $30,000 to make is com pelled by circumstances to pay with silver dollars, lie would ived a vehicle as strong and as large as an ordinary CO" cart (made to carry a ton ot coal) to transport them, an 1 if this shoul i be heaped up, n . m nv ih ,n 32,000 sib, ver do law c mid be loaded o* Consolation is found in a dictionary, and rest, in a store whose proprietor does not advertise. Ihe times are hard—every bod 3' ac knowledges it—but the wages of siu' are not cut down. " hmi married men complain of be** ing in hot water at homo, it turns out that half the time it’s scold. An energetic over-nice in’ cleanliness, scrubbed her dining-room floor until she fell into the celUr. A notice of a music il performance concluded: “Variety of other may be expected, too tedious to men tion/* , w An editor puffing air-tight coffins, said: “No person having once tried these will ever us* any other.’* * C 1 whs Devine, minor, was arrested® for plucking his neighbor's fruit the otherYiay. To err is human; to for-*- give Divine. A Dutchman repeated the adage, ‘Birds of a feather flock thus ‘Birds mid one tedder goes mit demi se! ves.’ Pat, having blistered his fingers 5’ trying on anew pa r bo its, exclaimed, ‘I shall never get them on until I wear them a day or two/ ‘Clergymen,' remarks an exchange 1 like railway brakemen, do a} great deal of coupling/ Ah, yes; and the coupled ones do all the switching. — An Irishman charged with an assault was asked whether he wag. guilty, ‘II iw can I tell, yer Hornr, till I have heard the evidence?’ was the reply. Advertis inent— Lost nn’empty’saek with a cheese in it. 011 the sack the letters P. G. are marked, but’so com pletely worn out, as to be illegible. Athletic sport for ladies— at conclusions, walking around a sub* ject, running through a novel, full descriptions. A youtli with a turn of figure*, had" five eggs to boil, andj,being told to giv<? them three minutes each, boiled them a quarter of an hour altogether. She was a stubborn woman, apdf when she died her husband planted a willow over her grave, so that even in, death she might have a willjo’ lierjown. A Chicago’clergyman out anew Lord's Prayer for the hene* fit of good children who have to dress in cold rooms. It is only seven, words, long. ‘-Sandic, what is the state of religion in your town?’ ‘Bad, sir, bad; there are no Olnistians except Davie and myself, and I have my doubts about. Davie.* Now that a baby has been choked by the rubber tube of a nursing bottle, mothers will believe the primeval sys-, tern of f eed ug offsprings the best by a large majority. A Kentucky editor says a neighbor of lus is so lazy that when lie works in the garden lie moves about so slowly that ihe shade of his broad-brimmed hat kills the plants. ‘*Lverv diop brau’v I drank paid duty, midear.” “Well, what of it?” said his wife, as she pulled off his boots. ‘Then, midear, uint Ia (h e) duty-full husband?’ S.n: co icbldcd that h‘i was An Indian has just died on one of tne reservations at the advanced ago ot well lie* couldn’t just say how old lie wa-, but rem. inhered distinctly when Oie Hull began his farewell tour. ♦♦♦ Toe discovery has been made that the world do s not revolvo with same motion that ip thousand years ago- 1 " s"'ingsju*ound * • enough to satisfy the man with <| heavy bill coming duo. >O. !.