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volume tit.
III 101
fiQy 3U
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THE shadow kiss.
ff £S it in the bright cozy parlor—
Mv I-uly Ooqnetterie and I;
i*ii. I’d give the world for just one kiss,”
I d more than bal pleadingly sigh.
! n she roguishly metes me my answer ;
, (
■•*ud 1 tell you, sir, once aud tor all,
Yon shall never kiss me till the wedding day,
though you’d give twenty worlds, Mr.
'Xvras my fiftieth time to beseech it,
Aiul her flitieth time to decline,
And try as I would 1 could coax nor steal
No kiss from this inadame ot mine.
So jve sit n co Z . bright parlor,
And she gossips about Lent and the ball,
While the light on thetable behind us
Our shadows before on the wall.
..flow, surely,” I once again pity her,
“You could have no objection to this :
Look thereon the wall two shadows there be—
Let my shadow yonr shadow kiss.”
“Very well," and we watched the performance
Of the profiles approaching eclipse ;
In a second 'tis done—our shadows have met—
Our shadows and fikewi.se our lips.
,Sti*rf€ nitouche, so at last I have triumphed,”
And she innocently says “Notut all!
’Twus only a shadow kiss." Then she resumes
Her chat about Lent and the ball.
MISCELLANY.
POLYSYLLABLES,
M Wounded Natur’ ’Members de
AVound.”
“Air.Barton should have known that
jt uas a waste of Barry’s time and too
great a tax upon per pons at borne to
put him in a grammar cl tss. lie can¬
not be made to comprehend at the very
outset the disti ictioij between mono
syllable dissyllables, trissyllables and
polysyllables He has no idea of the
imai.iug of k\ liable.'
Mury petulantly laid down the last
Mid; ami in telling Harry a mono.
syllable meant one syllable, a dissylii
blo two syllables, a trisyllable three
syllables^ a polysyllable fo ur or more
syllable,^ concluded she might, with¬
out making plain the meaning ofsylla
W' 1 , resume tier reading after the in¬
fliction, saying :
You know one lesson at least^ yt u
little V
drs. Norton's eyes filled with tears;
aml Harry vveatto bod sobbing becuue,
dld not know his first lesson inEug
Bhgrammar ; but Mary found diver-
8 on in a thrilling romance, Next a f
temoon Harry had chopped the wid
hrouglit w °od, arranged the kindlings
water, aud fed thc pig # and
■ l> shadows were lengthening when
/ again udpressed himself to the first
principh-s pf grammar. The widow
b, VaS bitching away industiiously to
‘P dl e wolf from the door, and
^ ,ir v reaching the climax of her
- new
novel.
IBeneo was broken by Mrs. Norton,
L B glancing from her sewing, out
■ of t,U; window, exclaimed,:
( "^ K ‘ dea r old soul ! How painfully
Sl!f * (1,ra o s herself through the SIlOW
drifts.'
an ins tant Harry's nose was flatten
against the window-pane, aud Ma
’’ M °pped reading long enough .to
HiUtter:
1 s poor old Sucky, who lives in
’ * Cieili just
do over the hill. Why
• ° u her 'dear old soul/ ma
mu p
because she is to :ve all c/ that.—
She "asnjy nmse, at>d tlie mother ol
• " ! fd J *uage. More, she was tli.e
1 tc t**aa;b me to curb impatience
te mpor.» *
‘Most wonderful! /Ppn my word,
hsre 's a in real life.—
r , romance
^ ,1 > V as >de books Harry, and lis
, #
i a ptory’—and
t/ b,r(, a merry laugh
0 , pghoiit the liumblp domicil,
ina/
IS * ^ ur :ton proceeded :
,.
,lI ri pour now, but I the child
was
healthy parents. This r . servant
" eat ,h ‘?r''bidding
M b • that one
a ^ ‘‘°Lprn;md. Want, except
"’i |0Se hands we.ie filled f»y
Ujs
appeared at pur door.
fitam' lh a ' a(b h“fore ‘ d 0nr I home, had and I lost
r hn r n learned to
' nie ^ onl y hnew from
**uw s "
i,, ° for utterance
I ' alwa died
i„y ys on papa’s lips
I^seiit:<». When my fifth
IPje Altman pme
day arrived he gave me a party. The
neighborhood children were invited,
and our carriage dumped down the
boys and girls at our door. Papa’s
charge was that I should be consider**
ate and polite, and extract all the fun
from the party that a romping little
mistress of the house could.
What a grand time I had in helping
Aunt Suoky make preparation ! How
rosily passed the hours in receiving
guests. How happy in making all feel at
home. Qurs was ti eirs, and everything
went on as merrily as a marraige bel! #
till near sunset, when Sarah Lovell,
running backwards in a game of blind
man's buff, upset myself and hospital¬
ity, and I pettishly called her aa awk
Wiird little goose. In an instant twenty
pairs of little palms went up, twenty
little mouths exclaimed oh ! andtwen
ty pairs of dainty feet were trudging
homeward. The remainder of my com
pany left as they came, in the carriage
but with so cold a courtesy as to chill
my warm blood. I tried to explain,
but no child would listen. When all
had gone, I threw myself on the lap of
Aunt Sncky and wept. She understood
my heart trouble and whispered :—
‘Wounded natur’ ’me nbers only de
wound.’ This truth came back to my
mind yesterday when 1 heard my dear
daughter call her perplexed brother a
little goose, and saw him go to bed
troubled and tearful.’
The simple story had scarcely been
concluded before Mary's left arm was
around little Harry’s neck, and her
voice attuned to love, explaining that
a syllable was a single effort of the
voice ; that a word of one syllable,
being but one effort of the voice was,
therefore, called monosyllable ; that
they often were very sweet words, as
Lord bless dear mama ; that a dissyl
lable was two efforts of the voice, as
Sis-ter Ma-ry teaeh**es brother Har
ry Eng-1 ish Gram**mar ; that a tri**
syllable was three efforts of the voice
to form one word, as -Su-san-na cor¬
rect-^ re-prov-ed im-pa-tienoe ; that
all words of four or more syllables are
polysyllables.' Now Hary count each
distinct effort of the voice to pronounce
words, and you will have a rule better
than any laid down in the grammar to
toll whether they are monosyllables
dissyllables, tri-syllables or poly-syl**
lables.'
Airs. Norton noting Mary’s changed
tone, remarked she was glad to know
ti.at her story so soon found applica¬
tion, and added, that some minds were
like sensitive flowers that closed their
peta’s at the approach of rudeness.—
For the time they torget previous
kindness and remembered the wound
inflicted
A Model Confession.
Seventy years ago, in a Vermont
town, a young lawyer—a member of a
large church—got drunk. The breth¬
ren said be must confess. He de¬
murred. He knew the members to be
good people, but they had their listle
faults, such as driving sharp bargains,
screwing the neighbors down to low
wages, loaning money at illegal rates,
misrepresenting articles they had for
sale, etc. But they were a good p e<>
pie and pressed the lawyer to come be¬
fore the “church meeting'’ to own up
to his sin of taking a glass too much,
for they were living where temperance
societies existed. The sinner finally
wont to the confession ; found a large
crowd of brethren and sisters gather¬
ed, whose eyes glistened with heavenly
delight as the lawyer began his con¬
fession.
“I confess,” began he “that I never
#
took ten p-T cent, for money ; six was
the legal rate.'’ On this confession
down wont a brother’s head with a
groan. “I never turned a poor man
from my door who jnceded food at 4
shelter/ 1 ' Down went anoiher head
“I conic*.? I never sold a skim milk
cheese for & new one." Whereupon a
sister shrieked 'or mercy. 'But,' con¬
cluded the sinner, ‘I have got drunk
and am very sorry for it.'
The meeting was peacefully dis¬
missed.
f*
Somebody’s child is dying—dying
With .the flush of hope on his young
face, aud an indescribable yearning to
Jive and take an honorable place in the
world beside the companions of his
youth* .* * * * Jo/ sale by all
druggists.
-<►
“X, )W there abideth these things
hich every man can dp better than
W 1 C ' his
^at ( , e | se . Poke a fire ; put on
edit a newspaper , tell a sto
ft >r another man has beguu it ;
ry *' railway time-table.
rn’ne a
EA8T3IAX, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, 3IAY 1, 1S79.
That Awlul Cow.
There probably isn't a woman in
North America who isn't afraid
cows, and there is not a cow in North
which would harm one hair
any woman’s head if it had the
best chance in the world and no other
on hand. Wednesday forenoon a
cow, perhaps, from the country
a taste of baled hay, found a gate
and entered a yard on Second
Ihe woman came to the front
dressed to go out, but seeing the
she uttered a scream and went
1 here wasn't a thing in the
the cow could damage or eat,
being tired she raised her cud,
down, and began to chew away as
she had got home from a long visit
Europe. The woman next appear
at a side window’ and called upon
t<* ‘git out. A dog might have
but the cow didn't. Then the
threw a rag at the cow and
for the dog. The dog didn’t
and the rag didn’t scare. Then
woman shook a pillow at the Cow
peremptorialy ordered her off the
s, but the bovine half closed
eyes and let her thoughts run
to fly time. As the cow
go, and as the woman
go till the cow did, sterner
were resorted to: A tin pan
held out of the window and beat
with a spoon, but the cow wouldn’t
fooled into believing that the
of July had come. Then the
wont into the back yard to
clubs ov.r tiro fence and knock
couple of horns off. The first one
the window and the next one
the blinds on the next house,
the cows horns stuck tighter than
Cries of *git out 1' wore again
to without effect, and then
woman watched at the front door
she saw a boy come along, and she
it and cried out: ‘Oh ! boy !
a horrible cow in our yard !
the gate open and get all the
and police you can and drive her
and I’ll give you a whole quarter
a dollar! Hurry up tor she looks
if she was getting ready to come
in here!' The boy‘humped'the
animal out in thirty sec
received his pay, and the woman
up going down town for fear she
have a ‘nervous spell.'
Saturday Niglit.
Another week, with all its fever
has gone down into the dead
The funeral drum of time has
the grave-march of seven more
Their events alone live now in
minds of men. At the midnight
we lay our left hand on the cof¬
of ttie dead days, and stretch
right to rock the cradle of the new
week that comes with the sun in
Jfi
littin. ilKlf from the much ohj.
the day-rest of to-morrow
all read ‘The Cotter's Saturday
of Robert Burns, and all have
it, too. Each, on a Saturday
relaxes his brow of care f lets
his labor-hand, and bounds
f with bouyant heart and
tread. His heart-love and
are there. Happy man, hap
home and happy souls. A week is
duty is done Awaiting his com
the dear one has the hearth a little
though it be always bright,
she smiles a little sweeter ' though
smiles always , sweet, to-night, • .
are ,
has the smile, the caress, the love
word for him who through the week
has r faithfully I, fought r i,i- his rr life-battle, i Q ,,i
and with these she rgeets his coming,
and he, and each one, feels that she
— -**•>- a.
world, because she is his world, Ah,
well, this is as it should be.
A good colored man once said in a
clasa-meeting. ‘Brethren, when I was
a boy' I took a hatchet and went into
de woods. When I found a tree that
was straight, big and so’id, I didn’t
touch dat tree ; but when I found one
leaning a little and hollow inside, I
soon had him down. S > when de
debil goes after Christians, he don’t
touch dem dat stand straight and
true, but derail at lean a little aud are
hollow inside/
A fly nevnr appears to such advan¬
tage as when he is standing on his
head the centre of . and
in your pie, 1
rubbing ... Ins hind , , legs toi-ethei . , the ,
1 ® ° ® in
•
air. ....._
--—
Whisky is made of leather now.—
This is tough^ but there is oiie comfort
about it ; a man can convert his boots
into the fiery liquid, and go to bed
To Avoid Sunstroke*
The following directions as to avoid
ing sunstroke, issued by the New
York Board of Health, are timely :
Sunstroke is caused by excessive
heat, and especially if the weather is
muggy. It is more apt to occur on
the second, third or fourth day of a
heated term than on the first. Loss
of sleep, worry, excitement, close
sleeping-rooms, debility, abuse of
stimulants, predisptso to it.
J A is more apt to attack those work
ing m the sun, and especially between
the houis of eleven o clock in the mom
ing ** nd 0 clock in the aftei upon,
On hot days wear thin clothing. Have
as cold sleeping-rooms as possible.
Av01(i loss of 8,ee P, aricl a11 uaneces-
8a V.y fatigue,
If working in-doors, and where
is artificial heat—laundries, etc
—see that that the room is well ven
tilated - If working in the sun^ wear
a H S ht hat G™t black, as it absorbs
heat), stiaa r , etc., and put inside of it
on tbe boad a we ^ c l°th or a large
g ieen leaf; frequently lift the hat fiom
the head and see that the cloth is wet.
Do not cheek perspiration, but drink
what water you need to keep it up, as
perspiration prevents the body from be
[ns overheated. Have, whenever pos¬
sible, an additional shade, as a thin
umbrel!a > whe » walking, a canvass or
board cover wh<m working in the sun.
Whftn tnuch fati g ued do not S° to
wor ^» hut he excused from work, es
P eciai, y aftor cll!ven °’ do,k in the
morni,l » on vcr y hot lla -V‘ i . lf the work
is in the sun. If a feeling of fatigue,
dizziness, headache, or exhaustion oc
cm ' J » cease work immediately, lie
doWM m a ® had y a,ld cool place ; ap
c °ld cloths to and pour cold water
ever head and neck.
If anyone is overcome by the heat
send immediately for the nearest good
physician. While waiting for the
physician, give the person cool drinks
of water, or cold black tea, or cold
coffee ’ d able to shallow.
If Me skin is hot and (I13, sponge
with or pour cold water over the body
and limbs and apply to the head
pounded ice wrapped in a towel or
other cloth. It there is no ice at hand,
keep a cold cloth on the head and
P 0111 Cold water on it as well as on the
body.
It the person is pale, very faint, and
p.dse feeble, let him inhale ammonia
for a few seconds, or give him a teas
boonful of aramatic spirits of ammo
"ia in two tablespoonfnls of water
with a little sugar.
Smiles.
If people will only notice they will
be am:Hzcd fi nd how much a really
enjoyable evening owes to smiles. But
ver ^ W considei wiiatan important
^
‘““1“
cruel men may laugh, hut they seldom
smile. It is painful to reflect how sel
dom thc poor smile. The effluence,
tbe i jen ®diction, the ladiance, which
tbe s ^ euce l‘ke a speech’ the
8m i ,e °f a fch, appreciative heart. Ihe
face £ lows ^ ner as listens, and then
breaks into sunshine instead ol words,
has a snbtle > charming influ. nee uni
veisully felt,-though very seldom un
derstood or acknowledged. Lord Ba.
<*>» of a nobleman whom he
knew > a ">»» who gave lordly enter
tainmfints tamments, hut bat aluruva a way s suff, «ufF..iPrl ted H some <,mn
sarcastic personality to mar a good
dinner, adding, “Discretion of speech
i. ls more more than than eino eloquence^ neiice and and to to speak sneak
agreeably to h.m w.th whom we deal
18 m °re than to speak in good words ;
o-—a.
mg others afraid of his wit, hath need
to be afraid of other’s memory'/
Roaring in the Far,
In the current number of the Medi
cal Record, Mr. Hammond says that
when you put tne end of your finger
in your ear, the roaring noise you hear
is the sound of the circulation in your
finger, which is a fact # as any one cau
demonstrate for himself by first put
ting his finger in his ears and then
stopping them with some other sub¬
stance. Try it, and think what a won
der ol a machine your body is, that
even the points of your fingers are such
busy workshops that they roar like a
small n Niagara. v- -n, 1 lie roaring is noth- ..
ing more than thc .. noise of r the circula'
tion ot the blood. It is the voice of all
.the vital process^ together—t le tear
ing down and building up—pr >c *sses
that are always going forward in ere
ry living body, from conception till
death. •
Good-Natured People.
p*e good-natured if you can, for
t }i Cre ; g no attraction so great, no
charm so admirable. A face that is
f n q 0 f expression of amiability is
always beautiful. It needs no paint
and n0 powder. Cosmetics are »u
perfluous for it, Rouge cannot im**
prove its cheeks, nor lilvwhite mend
j t8 complexion Its loveliness lies far
beyond this. It is not the beauty that
j s deep. For when you gaze in
^[,0 [aQg of a good-natured noblc
hearted man or woman, it is not the
shape of the features that you see, nor
yet the tint ot the cheek, ' the lme the
lfp> or the briIIiance of he eye . you
8ee the nameless something which ani
mate8 a]1 theg(% and ] eavc8 f or Jour in .
stict a sense of grateful fascination.
You see an indescribable embodiment
of heartlul ffood „ es3 w ithin, which
wins your regard in spite of external
appearances. Cultivate good nature,
therefore. It is better than‘apples of
gold set in silver,' for gold will take
itself wings and fly away; gilyvr
will tarnish in time ; and both, when
abundant, lose their comparative val¬
ue ; but £0Q(1 nature never deterior¬
ates iu worth—never abandons its
possessor to the mental poverty of
the malicious—never loses its hold up¬
on the esteem of the world. It is al
ways in fashion, and always in season.
Every one admires it. Everyone praises
it. Everybody is in love with it. It
never grows stair. Its cos’s little to
acquire, and nothing to keep. Yet it
is beyond diamonds iu its worth to its
owners, and can neither be stolen nor
lost, however neglected. Surely this
is a jewel that merits a search, and,
wlu , n f ouud> merits protection,
Dyspeptics.
Where can you find a more wretched
ol) j PCt tlian tho confirmed dyspeptic ?
Life has no charms for him ; the sim
ple ploai , ures G f eating and drinking °
haV(J lo8t their zest . ho alua
views everythi tIirough smoke C()1 .
ored spectacles ; lie is lachrymose and
gloomy. Yet, in most cases be has
only himself to blame for this state of
affair. Who are the people that are
always talking about their digestion
Mid dyspepsia? Not sailors, nor ag¬
ricultural laborers nor mechanics, nor
boys and girls, nor, for the most part,
men ; in other words, not those who
live much in the open air, and use
their limbs and muscles. But who arc
the people who are half afraid oJ their
meals, and have miserably to consider
what we shall not eat, and what we
shall not drink? They are in-door
sort of people—tailors and shoe-ma¬
kers, milliners, clergymen, literary
men, and nervous, fig“ty pimple, who
are always worrying themselves.
Then there are people that weaken
“• - Z ~
much on toa ’ and takln ” t00 much t0 *
bacco. What can they expect but
dispepsia? If men weaken their
stomachs' with excessive work when
they are tired, it is natural that diges¬
tion should not go on well.
Married Her Father’s Coach
man.
lhfi P e0 P :1 ‘ of . ^' VT ack , . on thc TT H,,d ~
son are now eroded over a romance
> n h.gh and low life- The story
briefly to.d is that the accomplished
daughter ® of Mr. lownscnd,
^ York * ork publisher P Jbl ‘ 5 ,er ’ livin- ” at
had , been driven out sleighing
frequently J during the winter by her
g „ 0 L coachman ookill ™ " ,“ V ’ James ' S fe^w A Weeks The
, a , ,
six miles from Nyack, the latter part
of January, and returned home with
out any mention <>f the marriage.
Weeks continued to perform his du
ties as coachman and waiter, and the
novel spectacle was presented of a
groom in an apron passing the bread
arid butter to his bride at the table
during the hone)moon. The st >ry did
not leak out until a day or two since,
when the runots that had been flying
about the village took shape in a par¬
agraph in a local paper. Mr. Town¬
send was interviewed on Saturday
last, but expressed entire ignorance
in regard to the matter^ but proposes
to thoroughly investigate it. The
" voting ° people, K r . however, , acknowledg- , °
e d , their marriag
j
H C3 “ re ,oh,blessher
HH cost ver — * to dress her.
She was sweet as a rose,
In her evcry-dav-clothes,
But had no young man to caress her.
Old Time Church Choirs.
In tho early New England
the singing never ministered to
harmony of a Sabbath
And there was a greater discord than
ever in the meeting houses when an
attempt was made to improve the
singing by forming choirs and teach
ing them to read notes and sing by
rule. 4 ' This was done in the Brattle
street meetinghouse, Boston, in 1120.
In the country towns the innovation
met with stout opponents, who de*
dared that it would lead to Popery,
and that “fa, sol la ! ' was the voice of
the Pope in disguise. Each pariy ac¬
cused the other of disturbing the pub¬
lic worship of God, one in attcmp'mg
to perpetuate the off? way, ami the
other to force in the new way of sing¬
ing. The opponents of the new way
said that the old way was more sol¬
emn, and that the new' way must be
wrong because the young people so
readily fell into it.
Some congregations did not under¬
stand ihe merits of the controversy
well enough to have any opinion about
it. On the Stamford, Ct., record is the
(ollowing amiable decision :
“genewary yc 28, 1141. Voted vt
Mr. Jona Bell, or any other man
agreed upon to sing or tune ye Salem
in his absenco in times of pnbliekt wor
ship, may tune it in ye old way or new
way, Which suits you best.“
At Windsor, Ct., in 1836, it was de¬
cided to sing in the old way in the
morning, and in the new way in the
afternoon. The new way of Ringing
gradually broke up the custom of em¬
ploying a town reader to read aloud
the hymns, line by lme, to the singers,
which was first introduced at Plymouth
in 1685, at the request of the worship¬
pers, who could not real. This cns„
tom, which finally attached itself to
the deacon‘s office, prevailed in all
parts of New England for a hundred
and fifty years, because it removed
*‘the embarrassment resulting from the
ignorance of those who were more
skillful in giving sounds to notes than
in deciphering letters.” [Lincoln's
Worcester.] Education finally ren¬
dered the custom unnecessary, and the
formation of choirs caused it to be d“
stroyed. At Worcester, Mass., Aug.
4, 1179, it was voted that, the singers
carry on singing in public worship,and
that the mode of singing be without
reading the psalms line by line to be
sung. On the next Sabbath the aged
Deacon Chamberlain, unwilling to give
up the old custom, arose and read the
first line of the hymn aloud, as lie had
been accustomed to do. The singers,
whose bold array stretched along in
front of the gallery', sang line after
line without noticing the deacon, while
he, raising his voice, rend the lines as
usual until the strength of the olioir
over-powered him. Then lie took his
hat and left the meeting-house, weep¬
ing and mortified, But tho church,
not satisfied with this triumpli over the
olvl man, publicly censured him be¬
cause he had absented himself from
the public ordinances on the Lord's
day.
A Boy’s Journal.
DorrVj a boy six years of age,
thinks he will do as other men have
_
•
“•>t. 12-Have 12. Have resolved r,solved to to keep keep a a
J " '
<Mar mar. 13 ia. _ Ha uau d roasted ioast-U beef r>cei for ioi dm- uin
»er, and cabbage potatoe and apple
Ka aauee „ e „ aml rice ril ; e pudlJl D „ ddlI| ".f. „ j do „ ot
like rice pudding when it is made , like
ours. Charlie Slick's kind is tele gogd,
Mush and syrup for tea.
t Mar 19 For , rot W w x did
schule.
Mar. 21—Forgot what I did. Grid¬
dle cakes for breakfast, Debby didn’t
fry enough.
Mar. 24.—This is Sunday. Corn
be f® for dinner. Studied my Bible
lesson. Aunt Bs\ said I was gredy.
^ ave resolved not to think so much
about things to ete. M ish I was a
better bo Y Nothing particular for
tea.
Mar. 25.—Forgot what I did.
Mar 26.—Forgot whnt I did.
Mar. 27.—Forgot what I did.
Alar. 29.—Played.
Alar. 31.—Forgot what I did.
April 1.—Have dBs'ded rot to keep
a journal enny more. 4
A tramp was toll that he could
have a go me»! if lie won hi shovel
the snow 0 a citizen’s sidewalk; to
i which he replied' with a wink: ‘I’m
I when you^talk of working, as thc cork
said to the g ngcrpOD.
NO. IS.
\ W&Jhumor *« ^*l iiOlu N &
■ s r
-*-s
1
The naked truth—a bear story.
No ‘Sir’—the man who is not a
knight.
Mica is a kind of ground glass, is it
not?
The oldest coupler in use—the wed¬
ding ring.
Has a scale in music two weighs
(two a's)?.
An honest small oyster is better
than a dishonest count.
Drawing from nature is contagious,
that is to say, it's sketching
It is chronic with bald-headed men
who wear wigs to put on 'airs.
A person who steals preserves
should always receive his just deserts.
Pickpockets raise the wind and a
hue-and-ciy at the same time general
ly*
There is more virtue m honestly ac¬
quired riches than unnecessary pover**
ty*
No man who stops on real estate
tax need have any fear of getting the
lockjaw.
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In the race for matrimony it isn't
always the girl that covers the most
laps that wins.
Your professional pedestrian maybe
said to lie a man who profits by hia
extremities.
N<> tramp need starve who is pos¬
sessor of an old, worn out shoe, for
then if he gets hungry he can eat his
upper.
When any of your relatives ropat
your door and you don't want to seo.
them, yeu must call out Walk kin!''
Electricity saved a Babtist clergyman
in Water bury from the assault of a
goat. He climbed a telegraph pole
A theif who was arrested in New
York last week, upon being asked his
occupation, replied that lie was ‘a
pocket miner'
‘flome, or the Last Loaf, 4 is the name
of a new temperanoo drama. Homo
is about the last place to loaf a man
thinks of. '
The last of its kind we shall ask and
hope some butcher will send us the sol¬
ution: Did you ever see a leg of mut¬
ton sail?
‘She never told her love 'that she
had been eating onions but their
chairs were found a good ways apart
the next morning.
A Boston physician announces that
kissing is unhealthy. He wasprobab
blv caught by his wife while kissing
the servant girl.
-
Sydney Smith being asked what he
would like for dinner, replied: ‘An
appetite, good company, something to
cat and a napkin.'
‘Are yon short?' asked a man of his
friond of whom he wanted to borrow
some money, ‘Not at tall/ replied
the acquaintance.
The comet will soon be visible
throntrh powerful glasses. It will
probably keep a good"many husbands
out late at night looking for it.
A man entered a pawnbroker's office
the other day and wanted to pledge
his word The proprietor said he bad
no room in his safe for it.
A bachelor cynic remarks that it is
singular how early in life a child gains
the reputation of resembling the richest
and best looking of his relatives.
The New Orleans Picayune says
that old age needs an easy chair and a
pair of slippers. Yes, and youth needs
a pair tf knees and only one slipper.
One «'f ihe brightest things wc have
noticed going round lately is a high'y
polished circular sa w-~New York * Neivs.
We saw pom thing bright too—anew
tin top.’