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VOLUME VII, , > m fiS? m i I ie V TT A WOMAN’S REASON. nr e. tpj’KiNa. It was love-sciupelling May, With the cricket’s shrill bassoon Piping loud ; And the moon, a merry maid, Waltzing down the checkered shade, With a cloud. She was standing at the stile. \nd the moonlight, all the while £jbe was there, J.ike the suuj/ine in the moss, Got all tangled in the floss .Other hair. Jn the midnight of her eyes Glowed the sudden, glad surprise Of first love ; While, in waves of red and white, Hope and fear, with jealous might, Fiercely strove. Suddenly, ,jhe air grew still, As the distant whippoorwill crept Frightened uf) her ; And she very ch m, blushing lille J blowing rose, For her fear. Then tjfye piooo waltzed out of sight, And a voice, us of the night, Said, * ‘Beware For the quiet was so deep, That a butterfly could sleep the air, Every dimple was in tune, ‘With a anile about the moon, “ As ii fled ; And a Roguish terror played With her eyelids, as the shade Overspread. I ml from out tin jesnmine, Through the spicy eglantine, Lhvisted thick, Just awakened from a dream, C'aite the hum-hird’s wrathy tjcr^am, “Do it quick." Life till then was incomplete. Heavens ! what delicious, sweet, Rosy lips ; All flic lightning of a storm .Tingjei?, laughing, to'hoy warm Finger-tips. Ami a )/une bug buzzing near, Or else something saicj, “You dear/' yery low .. >w ; “Why do you,” chimed in a frog, Courting some ouc in the bog, “Loveiueso?” i'D - l And I think she thought ’twas I; For two hands crept into my Clumsy paws, And the little mischief said, Roguishly, “You naughty Fred, Just because.” MISCELLANY. Iced Juleps. the jFerle^, of the Boston Journal, tells following story of an incident which occurred while life corpse of a distin¬ guished citizen of the old liay Spate was on its last journey homeward quite ' a mimbt r of 3 ears ago : 4here was an unusually large dele¬ gation of Congressmen as an escort, together with the usual staff’ officers and correspondents, it was a warm, early Spring day, and when trie train stopped for a few moments at Magno¬ lia station, just b* yond Baltimore/ one ot the bouse clerks, noted for his bibu¬ lous propensities, was delighted at finding a negro boy on the platform, with a bundle of fresh mint, which wqs ’ minediately ^ purch aged. hen the train started { nunei of , the . fragrant flavoring . Kerb at once hega., to concoct wl,.sky ,u|e p? But / her.. „ e il3 ' tl, no " re ice was -that "° bl luxury ' k of not old hav- w '■S been introduced into the .rate, tanks of the cars. All at once, M_ -■maimed. " 7° iB the b ®8P*S® ■%; „ , a,,d 7“ fo rW#,d ^ ,Vt '" n S ,0n ///a" , " PS ° C °° ; ” S He was greeted with a welcoming Siiout, and soon the ice w r as being rat¬ tled in glasses, from which the Juleps were approvingly drained, until a N, uth Carolina representative ns i - suddenly struck between the eyes, claimed : ‘l believe you took (bis ice from the box under the coffin.’ f here was a dead silence ; no J'l eps were drank, and at Havre-de <Jlace , M---quietly left the Had a pledge never to drink any ‘Husky juleps been then and there sciitefl, it would have received signatures. t f 0 ^. £5 p ♦ i ALICE BOND’S CASTLE. BY If. E. STONE. ^Alice, Alice Bond 1' ‘Yes, aunt Hester.' /Home in the house, this instant, and scrub the floor. I never, in all my saw such a Jajjy, shiftless girl ! Do you hear me.?’ ‘Yes, aunt/ ‘There you go 1 It's ‘yes, aunt/ from morning'til night; J might call ’til my throat was sore, and that would be all the answer Pd ever git. Whgit 011 airth air you a-lookiu’ at ?■' ‘I was watching the clouds, aunt Hester. Dd come, and see this one, in the form of a castle—' ‘A castle I Good Lord! Just as if them dumpy lookin’ clouds had any more shape in them than a feather bed. Land sakes, how some folks im¬ agination runs away with 'em !, A fair, young girl, with great, wist¬ ful, brown eyes, turned reluctantly away ft,9m tjte .beautiful scene she had been Contemplating. You're jest like your mother was/ continued the aunt; ‘she never had a spark of smige You’ll make a smart wife, won‘t you, for a man ? I won¬ der what Ezra parnard would think, if he could see you now. I think, if I was a girl, an’ had sich a likely feller, I‘d try an* fiave a little git-up aboyt tile, an‘ not be as stupid as a beetle with my head ‘way up in the clouds fch§ hull time. Mrs. Barnard was oyer here, yisterday, a-askin* about you, nn’ the way I had to falsify to he*', made me ‘shamed for it.* ‘You need tell her no untruths on my account, aunt Hester/ said the girl, firmly ; ‘I shall never marry lu*r son/ ‘■What {‘ ‘I shall never many Ezra Barnard. I do not love him/ /Wal, I've heerd of fools in my day, but you*re the biggest one I ever see. Not marry $zia Barnard ! IM like to know what you aijt* a-tl»inkiu‘ ^bonf! A young man with plenty of money, a good farm, anf all the git Is for miles around a-dyin‘ .li ter him. Not jjprry him ! I can tell you one thing, miss, pou can't live on me much longer ] foj; I‘m a-gittii/ pretty tired of a lazy thing like you/ Alice Bond had been left an orphan when she was so young, that sfie had no recollection of either father or plot her. jfjer father had been a sol¬ dier, and had fallen in the last year of the war ; and the blow’ had broken her mother.‘s 1 eirt. The child had no nearer relative than an aunt, who lived on a sterile hill-farm, ilere far up among the mountains, Alice had vege tated from the time she was £wq years ojd until she was njoeteen. We say vegetated, for her aunt was wholjy of the ‘earth, earthy,* and had no aspira¬ tion beyond ‘laying acre to aqro.f Books were strangers to the house, so were periodicals. Nothing was con¬ sidered of any va'ue that did not bring money, and bring it directly. Amid this hard, dry, material life, poor jittle Alice grew tip like one shut fast in a cage ol iron. Sue was naturally of ^.11 imaginative mind, fond of read¬ ing, and possessing a keen senge ot the beautiful. Her only happy days were those when she could escape, bare-jbrq as she was, out on the hills, to gather wild flowers and grasses^ and lie there gazing at the clouds, sqeing castles and cities in their changing outlines, and dreaming dre- ait] 8 q? impossible felicity. She had always been a pretty child, and ghe * / w np rare iy beautiful. Her 1>1W0 , hcr long dark lash her ,. osy mollth „ er wealth rich chestnut hair ; and above all, he. aud speaki r ng ion!,tenancy the MiQn yf which vaiied w i.h every t| , onght and elnotioI1) made ^er the bellG of the neighborhood. Araong ;d | iiej; numerous suiters E Z ra Barnard, however, was' the richest ; but he Was, also, if p .ssible the most boorish ; and Alice fairly detested him. ‘Maybe you're expectin',' gaid the aunt, sarcastically, ‘some kqight, as they say in storybooks, to come along, and take you off to that castle you talking about ' were ‘May 1 trouble you fora glass ol water, madam V interrupted a voiee at this moment. Aunt Hester started. In the kiteli en d‘*or, stood a young man, clad in a hunting costun.e, with his gun slung carelessly over his shoulder. He have come up the back walk, and, per had overheard the conversation, EASTMAN, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, MAY 22 , ‘I've had but poor luck,'*he said, smiling pleasantly at Alice, ‘and am quite thirsty/ The girl glanced timidly into the frank, manly face, with its broad, white forehead, and dark, gray eyes, ‘He is not one of us/ she mentally de tei mined, as she went for the glass of water. ‘Thank you/ he said, taking the brimming glass from her hand. Then, turning to aunt Hester, he added : ‘You have a fine, old place here. May I ask if you know of any one in the vicinity, who would be willing to take a boarje^’, for a few weeks?’ ‘I dunno,‘ replied ^unt Hester, slow¬ ly. ‘I‘ve got a spare room that hain‘t in use. Perhaps I might. Is it you ?‘ ‘Yes. I have ceme up amojng the hills here for a mouth‘s holiday. I will pay you well. 1 like the place/ 4_nd aunt Hester, always eager to make money, led the way to a pleasant, square room, whose windows looked out upon the hills and surround¬ ing country, for miles aroupd. The stranger was so pleased with the view, that he engaged the room, then and there. ‘I will go back to the hotel, at the entrance of the valley, and have my traps sent up, at once/ lie said. ‘1 shall have time to get jb&pk before sun¬ set/ ‘For the land sakes, Alice, do hur¬ ry, and hull them strawberries !‘ said aunt Hester, bustling about, after he had gone, ‘while I get ready the bis¬ cuits for tea. 1 shall make a pretty sum out of this, and if you work real hard, I'll buy you a new delaine/ ’ ‘No, he isn‘t like us,‘ thought Alice, b sily hulling tt.q strawberries. ‘J dori‘i believe he would talk, like Ezra Barnard, all the time about potatoes and squashes. Oh, I do hope not ! I wish somebody \y° ll 14 tel) me ot books and of the world. 1 am so tired o! tins dull, dull life/ She brushed the long, chestnut curls carefully, in front of the littje mirror, in her own room, and fastened a blue ribbon at her throat, before going down to supper, th-.it night. The stranger glanced mQj:e admp> ingly than ever at the pure, sweet lace. ‘Hurry, and eat, Alice/ commanded aunt Hester ; Tor you'll have to get flje cjws up, and milk them. Your uncle, won't be to home ‘til late.* The giil obeyed, silently. Rising she took h<w broad-brimmed hat from its peg, and left the room. Site was just lowering the meadow bars, when a step sounded behind her, and a pleasant vo ce said in her ear : ‘Allow me to assist you. And may I accomuany you ? It‘s many a long year since I used to go for the cows.* ‘Yes/ she said, quietly, ‘if you wish to/ And together they passed iuto the meadow, knee-deep among the clover. The girl's eyes, as they walked, Were fixed, as he noticed, upon the oluc hills in the distance in a dreamy way. GVfiat arc you thinking of: may I ask ?‘ said her companion. ‘I was wishing’ 1 had books, f she said,‘music and art; all that makes life so beautiful: !Q.i, if I could only She checked herself suddenly, re¬ membering that she was addressing a stranger, ‘I know/ he said, gently. ‘But I ! have some books in my trunk that, perhaps, you have never read. I wdl lead them to you/ ‘Thank you/ she said, simply ; and then tl^ey drove the cows Lome in si¬ lence. Ezra Barnard w is walking in the front room, whea they returned. ‘Hullo, A1!‘ he said, greeting her, H come over to ask you to a dig, they‘re a-goin* to have down to the corners, to-morrow night. How dy‘e do?‘ acknowledging the introduction to the stranger, awkwardly. ‘I cannot go, she said coldly. ‘Oli, pshaw, Al! YWre always a-sayiug that. You can go. Your aunt said you coulJ. They're a-goii/ | ia vo a tarnation sight of fun !‘ q cannot go, Ezra/ *p or (j ie land sakes, Alice, I s’m'd think you‘d be ashamed of yourself 1‘ broke in aunt Hester, indignantly, ‘Arter all the p lins Ezra's took to come way over here, a purpose to ask you. Shu'd'nt you think she orghter be ashamed, Mr Ellis?' ‘Perhaps Mss Bond does not care for parties,' said the young man pleas antly. ‘But this 'ere one is geiu' to be an extra affair—two fiddles, an' an’ a bass viol. I tell you it'll be a regular hoe-down! Say, A1—‘ But the girl had slipped quietly from the room, ‘I swan,' exclaimed Ezra, rising, his florid face becoming several tinges der, ‘if that hain‘t a purty trick serve a fellar 1 There's more gals than pne in the world, bowsomever, as I'll jest show her. 1*11 ask Alminy Bind wort to go—she‘1! jump at the chance.' ‘La, now don‘t be hasty, Ezra/ said aunt Hester, soothingly. ‘Alice will go. l‘ll bring her round, to-morrow. She's only a little odd and offish. When you're married, it‘ll be all right ‘ ‘I dou‘t know as I care about a balky gal for a wife!, exclaimed Ezra, f coarsely. ‘Perhaps I won't have her arter all.‘ And snatching his hat, he sullenly left the house. Fater in the evening, when she thought they were alone, aunt Hester gave Alice what she called ‘a bit of tier mind/ She ended, by savin : 'Wal, yoi/re a big fool! You've lost Ezra Baruard by his tantrum. Pd like to know vvlu/11 have you now ? Mabbe you think you can catch this city chap, you're so fine around. It’9 a likely thing he'd look at sich a gal as yon be—’ ‘Oh, aunt /cried Alice, interrupting, and the tears di opped from the brown eyes, -‘how can you be so cruel ? I never, never, dreamed of such a—‘ She paused suddenly ; and burst in¬ to tears. Every moment that Alice could now snatch from drudgery, she spent in reading. Before the books which Mr. Ellis fyad first loaned her were finished, he had sent to the city for more. Nearly every evening, when aunt Hes* ter was comfortably dozing in her arm-chair, Mr. Ellis would select a book, and going out into the porch» would read aloud, in his clear, musi¬ cal voice, to Alice. How kind and good he was, Alice said to herself. How much interest he seemed to take in her improve¬ ment. She felt so encouraged. The old life appeared so far behind. She had never known what happiness was before. Mr. Ellis had fallen into the habit calling her r Allie / and sonehow, she I ked it; for now, his month had lengthened into three , and it seemed to Alice as if they bad been together forever. ‘Allie/ he said, ‘tomorrow will be the first of November, and I am going away.' They were standing by the meadow bars, in the soft, evening twi¬ light* The last rays of the setting sun were gilding the gir/s chestnut hair, until it shown like burnished gold. The fringed curtains dropped quick¬ ly over the brown eyes, and a sudden p dor overspread the sweet, girlish face. ‘This has been a pleasant summer and autumn, Allie/ he said ; ‘hasi/t it ‘Yes/ she answered, with a voice that faltered, in spite of all hpr efforts. ‘Shall you nrss me, Allie? 1 The intonation was so low, it was hardly more than a whisper. With a great effort the girl steadied her voice, and answered, calmly : ‘Certainly, Mr. Ellis. I—-that is, we—shall all miss you/ ‘I am going home, Allie/ ho said, watching her keenly, ‘to prepare a castle for my lady-love, as a true kpight should# Shall j te]1 yQl 1 aDout her? Where ifirst met her, and hovv I came to love tier V ‘jT you ph ase, came ever so faint¬ ly ; there was a terrible sickening at her heart. ‘It was one day, as I was returning from a hunt,’ he said, taking Aliee‘s hand, that hung listlv at her side. ‘I was very tired and thirsty, and from the brow of a bill I espied, iu the val ley below, a house. I determined to go to it, and.ask for a glass ol water. As J drew near, I saw a young girl stand ing in its yard, watching the great, fleecy, white clouds, that weie floating inly about iu the sky,.‘ Alice started, and crimsoned sud¬ denly. ‘I paused, in admiration of the sweetest face I had ever beheld/ he said, pressing her hand. ‘Just the 1, a woman came out of the house and re piimande^ the girl sharply, and ask ed her ‘what she saw.‘ The reply was, ‘a castle/ Do you remember it, Allie? From that moment, dearest, 1 tell in love with you, arid then anJ there determined, if you were willing, that I would prove your true knight. s= 5 »rry Allie, a a to' a * There was a smothered little sob ; quick glance up at his face, and the gill whispered. ‘Yes, Harry/ And Harry went away, next but came back before two months, then Alic6 Bond went to live in castle, which exceeded in beauty wildest expectations. —-^----— The 3Iule. The mule is the most unhealthy imal in the world—unhealthy to around. The very atmosphere about a is rather dangerous to inhabit. We have money to bet that Nature made the first mule, some got hurt. A mule is always ‘at home/ as will tind by calling upon one of critters. He is continually possesed of a ning: desire to stretch cially i'is hind legs. We liaue known this yearning make trouble in several families. Any wound which a mule to give you may very properly be led an a-bray-sure. Be careful that you are nevC.’ i^p* in this way. A mule is a great prophet. He can prophecy a man’s sudden illness or death twenty feet off. This makes him very profitable to doctors and glide* takers. He is also possessed of great healing power. The saying that a bright jewel lies deeply buried in the epd of a mule's tail is a delusion and a snare. Mule meat may be good diet for a Frenchman, but not for beef-raising Y aukees. The less mule meat a man has the better. The only way that we could persuaded to eat a mule would be to b-eat him. Likewise, the only way we could got to ride a mule would be to de-ride him. And the darkey was right when he said that the only way to ‘lub' a mule was to ‘e'lub’ him. No man ever sees a mule kick [him. The man is usually seized with ob secured vision just at that juncture. We have seen a man get up after a mu)e fond kicked hint (very rarely, though), .andjswear with both hands uplifted that be didn't believe the animal had stirred a peg—he looked so immovable and unconcerned. A mule is a very ‘quick'animal. Great quantities of this substance is hidden away beneath his toe calks. Caution: Take our word for this, and don't go hunting around in that vipinitv. You can’t w< igii a mule with any so ,- t of accuracy. An ounce of mule weighs more than a pound of any other livestock, And no matter what his condition may bo, a mule is bound to kick the beam. The only beam which a mule can¬ not kick is a a sunbeam. But he can knock the beam out of a man's eye with greater alacrity than any other influence. In this respect he is a regular mot-oy power. As a great explorer, the mule is equal to Stanley. When he goes exploring for a man always finds him. The sqfest place to stand by a mule does not exi-L He is the dynamite fiend of the fore¬ legged kingdom. We have often wished that some ‘bunko’ man would try to ‘pope iu a mule. He would never be worth a row pins again. The mule is a very headstrong beast. He is likewise exceedingly heel strong. The mule—but blame a mule, any way! A little girl wanted more buttered toast, but was told that she had e it enough, and that more would make her sick. ,WelJ,' said she, ‘give me anuzzer piece, and send for the doc¬ tor.’ Brown‘s wife weighs over two huu kred pounds; when Brown asked her, "Shall I help you over the fence, my dear?" she replied, demurely, V.Nci, help th i fence.’ It is said a hornet's nest contains as many as 15,C00ceils. If any of hornets arc g. ? they will show ? 5 The Local Editor. The following is borrowed, and it is the best we ever had a local editor to lend us : If a man buys a new buggy,or if his cow can bawl three times without winking, the local is expected to pro¬ claim it with a grand flourish If he starts a two penny business, his first thought is to bribe the local with a five-ccnt cigar to write a five dollar puff. Indeed, he thinks it is a mission of the local to make his fortune for him by ‘free blowing/ He will take the local to one side and point out the su¬ perior qualities of a rat-terrier, and coolly ask him to give him a hoist.— lie dou't care anything about it, only Spriggins has a dog which bethinks is a buster, and some of ’em wanted his put iu just to take the conceit out of Spriggins. Everybody wants to be ‘put in '— They are the Great I Am, but no one says, 'Here, local, put yourself inside this new suit of clothes/ or ‘throw yourself outside of this oyster-stew/ or *stuff this watch into your pocket.’ Oh, no, of cause not ; that would cost s unething. The shoe is ou the other foot, you see. The local is supposed to know eve¬ ry thing about other people's business, and is expected to show up all the ac¬ tors in every family br.nl in town. If the vile tongue oi scandal^finds a vic¬ tim, people wonder wi/ he don't run about with his notebook and gather up the vituperative bits of slander lor his paper. It he steps into a billiard hall lie is requested to make a note of ihe aston sliiug fact that Bill Tompkins has made a run of eleven points. When the minstrel troupe arrives in town, the agent immediately rushes into the printing office, and calling for the local, he slips two or three tickets in his hand and whispers : ‘Draw us a rousing house. Put it in strong. /And patting him patronizingly on the shoulder, the agent admits the in¬ feriority of the troupe, but are not to ‘let on/ It is no sin for the local to lie. To please the lecturer, the local is forced to sit two mortal hours to hear him through an insipid discourse, so that he can ‘write him up/ And so it goes. All are anxious to appear favorably in print, but lew are w iling to p»y for it. The local’s time is worth nothing but to b >ther his head writing puffs for ambitious persons. Jt doesn't cost him anything to live ; he never eats, or drinks, or travels, and money is of no use to him Put it in ! put it in ! He Has a Case. A man with a bad-looking nose and a melancholy appearance generally, entered Judge Potter's office the other day, and slamming a paper down on the desk, he exclaimed : ‘I submit the docs, and demand a divorce 1' The court looked at him in a puzzled way, and the stranger continued: ‘Hump the papers together mighty quick, for she's out after a dray to move the furniture, ‘I can't give you a divorce,' answer¬ ed his Honor. ‘Here's the cash down, mister, said the stranger pulling out a sin ill tiu box full of shin plasters, ‘and here's charges that will make your blood run cold. He was instructed as to what steps he must take, and in his excitement and^ confusion he went away, leaving the ‘does/ on the desk. The charges read as follows : 1. Pulling hair, jawing, and kicked rac. 2. More pulling hair. 3. Kicked me Christmas day, and 1 can prove it. 4, Tried ^o pizeu me, and then jaw e< ^ around, 4, Sitting down in the cellar and reading dime-novels, and striking me when 1 talked to her like a kind fa ^ ier , 6. Teasing me to take her to a circus and then gettiqg mad and mining a mighty good dishpan, 7. Jawing, kicking, fightings cuss mg, threatening, making up faces and demanding money to buy ice T cream and candy for her darned old relations^ And so forth to wit, and a good many other things which I can prove straighter than a sti ing. Grant me this divorce gentlemen, and 1 will vote lor you if you ever run for alderman. A gpod place to get a husband—By NO. SI. m IT & [HUMOR ... \ J/ if •1 Nothing so lubricates the muscles as sweet toil. The Rome Sentinel thinks a health}' Indian is a well red man. Avoid the slanderer as you would a wasp. There is poison in his tale. Idaho has a Boise City to offset the Town of Onegirlia in Dakota territory* A fellow should nevei kiss his on the mountain, because mountains peak. -♦♦♦ It has been noticed by a that haves always fall before fall leaves. A jockey c ills his team and Petroleum because they are par¬ affine steeds. The active manufacturer ot tools is the only man who can do things at once. In Michigan a bride may be mar¬ ried without gloves—precisely the way she handles her husband. If you ask a Parisian for a small loan he is pretty sure to be franc with you. He may sou yon, thoughts Why are the thoughts of a printer understood ? 'Because they give the publican inkling. -— Why is an auctioneer like old ther Time ? Because he is forever going and forever gone. ^ ^ - The undertaker smiled serene, cause he knew she would aspire, light with blazing keroseue the slow delinquent kitchen tire. Though the average small hoy may steal away and cat a watermelon all by himself, he never refuses to divide his medicine with a little sister. A Rhode Island jury were six days on a hog case invoking seven and then recommended both to the mercy of the court. It wili soon be time for the bullfrog average s >cial standing to ‘Jump the bottom of a well, and swear by jingo he’s just from—the bottom. “Will a village cow pay? - ' asks an exchange. We can't say to their paying any thing themselves we have often Reen them dun. The other night an Arkansas man into a telephone nearly ten and the telephone had three whiskey fits before eight o’clock that ........ ......... '^zaczr- - The editor of a paper reeeutly insist¬ that poets must be brief. The. next he received a composition entitled Ballad of the Merchant: Tiust— A negro boy was driving a mu la the animal stopped and refused budge. ‘Won’t you go, eh?“ said boy. ‘‘Feel grand, do you ? I you forgot your fadder was little jackass.' 4 The man who successfully wrestles a half button on the back of his and comes out of the ordeal with¬ traces of profanity, has a c in¬ with a double-barreled man¬ roof on it. -- We notice that ‘‘Hug Me to Death tiling, 1 ' is the name of a new song. are ready to do so—owing to who is, though. If she is handsome sweet we will be on hand if she advice us when she is ‘heady to to press." Gh! cheering spring lias come again all its cheering powers; with soft in every vein, and roseclad y bowers. At early dawn we our bed, to hunt for sweet May but get, instead, a cold iu our |€a d, an ! a catarrh, by the powers! A Yankee who h id never paid more than twenty-five cents to sec exhibition, went to a New York one night to see the “Forty The ticket-sePr charged bin cents for a ticke t. Pass ug past* -board back lie quietly remark¬ Keep it misfce^ I don't want to g *e other thirty-nine apd out he inarch^