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rplE VII.
j> f) -K THY.
KITTLE DAISY.”
i pfoonts Words by Maoric "He. ’ey.
jlUtfC BT P* «• WAMBOLD.
dear Jittle maiden that lives in the
a sa&Cfc a
vcall ter the “aodest little daisy
V it )S charming, her voice a silver
bell, she’s a darling little daiey.
to me
Chorus.
daVv ! \ s of thee I dream !
, beaming like star-lit
..vonrhlae ejes a
i S'daisY, th-dancing oil of lhee mcunhght 1 KioR ’ beaming
i ri like
r a rippling stream.
cheeks » 1- e jj.ee the roses that bloom in
k
Xe among forget-me-nots pearl, her breath and daisies; sweet
teeth are rarest is
woodbitie' does , most . drive , . me crazy.
, |j ( c beauty a
Chorus
ing dais.v! ’tia of thee I dream,” etc.
is like (be music that one hears in a
t ■i- r
dir.iiri, o.il of azr in them gl m
ind her eyes, a <e
mg heaven she were mine, how sweet
[odd to world would v m,
this darling daisy.
Could I call her my own, my
Chorus.
urlmgdaisy, ’(is ot thee I dream," ote.
TllttOOOII Fill E.
lestood where the restless
iiiesibging to her fee!, as "f the
, :il ocj.tn we.e offering a proper
lute to her ure, p end beauty.
Her bands were c’asped before her,
9 aims hanging at their ful' grace**
ilength; her head was gl'gii ly
Mid; her eyes that had been
n.hing the crpttd wave3 iid : ng to
feet, were downcast ; her pe feet
were slightly pa ted, a'a it theie
Ithuu-vh.s wi.hin that must find
; only w» ii the b.(*^th that floated
soit'y f.om her mouth.
lilac!; d.cf.s—a grenadine
showed paough iis tiss
tor urn li'e whi e a. ms and neck,
(["relieved by jewel or .‘bbon ;
aywhcie the n..»;■ >w I 3 M at ’lie
/ fa cued she had c. el * *v
d a gl. i.ig o. imson rno-> rose -
d;b.'i .„ven bk ck h. i- vv.-s b . ided
a "Ulisb chi non, and one sid'
'Hkbrad several »cndrillv cm Is of
by hair laid lovi ugly.
‘Vou ,; ke it, M*-*s Evelyn/
^'tmiedai the sound of Albert
Ganeev’s voice ; *>he thought het efi
tentirely alone that for a moment
bas surmised out of be: ovuiox\y
! compusui’e ; but only for a mo
tt, ior slu< bowed iu the usual cool
kjlity w.. v *il»3 assumed to geut]e-»
Hardly assumed e’.hcv • it is
Lirto accuse Muriel Evelvn of so
«ui oy a cbat*;ic.er. But she
l v was iud'ffcrent to men ; and
Albeit Cbu ineey ofa'l men she was
si dis.ant, snnplv because «ho fiked
1 best. 8he made il a sludv to dis
ise l)e> feefiugS; aud she l. rely
&
■ 'v, after n slight eon.uvon and a
fovot'og fi le blush, b”cao>e she
15 be ii. d foHowed her from
e ow.i she had le.t a long d : $*
-cedown the sands, Muriel bowed
J 'lieti loot- d out "n the grand e -
°l water again.
'Ve I do 1 ,kt* i / she pve' cu Jy
■ i low solemn ii .one. ‘il 1 we.e a
“I «uuld five on the oce n/
Tl ea you are not afraid?’
Afaid!’
She Ie pe.‘Lei. the word w! h scorns
mpbrsis
fha uncev smiled, looking hot full ; n
e Ve S and us he gazed ‘lie sor’e
.
P 1 ce to wis! ful look hat
a
rr J bis own fine eyes.
1 know you are brave physic; 11 y
njonmllv, because I kaow you
^ 0(, t ah'ink fiom a fife yi )U knew
L ' less luxurious than p'oser.t
I your
am going to p»ay you to share
• Do you know how deeply I
If }ou, M iss Evelyn V
s bund ’'Cine .ace was pale with
pleading passion. Ilia
; lie spoke so delibe a-ely,
JIlcsl ly and tbeu w. i ed an an**
not move away from him or
J . t io speak. She seemed muie
P' lfect astonishment »hat Chaun
1,1 ^ a T'ed her io man v him.
tike a lighting flash the conscious
°ccu red •o he:’ Uiat in cheating
'be love he had asked she
°u!d only de r raud hers -tf.
'k\u ' »l»e ac rally knew she
w.
y wi.it hi s veiy own or noi,
% a delight
somewhere
'J because he loved
rjjr proud
■V man—i e
Hut the hauteur of
V r
*
s
Evehns asserted i'self. And in the
conmve^'on of her small, pioud month,
in ihe involcu ury Inm she gave her
sliapely head. Albe.l Cliauucey lead
what was sLoel i ng her h'*a t aga'iist
him, and as Doe, ?s a dent, as honest
a Jove i-s evev laid at woman's feet.
f. e war* covered wi,h p?)W
‘hat almost s.an'nd her ; iben, when
a fait upiisingio her he.nl Hut bo r i>
ened her p.ide a li tie, he spoke to her
again beloie she had fine to answer
him.
‘i >>ee 1 was w oug. Your ate a
tOW- *•. Bui. don’t teU me ‘No ;’ I
do noi tt ’ok 1 co.’Id bear to bear it
from von** 1 ios/
How low despairing tone wMi an
indescribable biitewrss in it, smo,e
her. She e«*uved an answer agsm,
but he s'lenced her.
•l am poor —you are a d.i glPer of
bhe Evolves ; and yet, I could le ch
you the seve - t les on you ever could
learn—the l-*-sou tb. t ife is only
worth having when crowned by devo¬
tion such as I cm offer you, Miss
Evelyn/
CbuttDce.v paused a moment and
looked at her ti'l warm h'ood tinged
he'" fUv ‘, and Jlie i he laid his hand on
ner be.; . J/i! ai m.
‘Muriel, you do cave for me, and
you are ashinieo to own it. Yet the
tune will come when you wil acknowl¬
edge it, when you wid be mv own,
when 1’
His faceligitied up with iiie g‘o;y he
sew in store for I'im. He lifted her
hands o bis bps, ki ' d il almost rev
e n ! v, bowed, end wa'ked on along
he sho'> e.
A id .Vntie 1 s*ood there, wondeiirig
if it \v.' no! a d earn—wondering
whw t . nge f. e iiaa brought hem
both i.om the metropolis, whe.e tiiov
nfigh! never have me!, al bough they
v'-u u a stone’s throw of cvrh other
— wondering how he had moved her
heart so sirangely hero bv iho g-aud
sea that she ado ed.
And then she suddenly sm’^'d. A
flood of .ad eat be.'U'y surged i ; 'o her
tender eve — ender u »vv fo* Oiiaun
cey’s sake—and liembteJ on her
sweet J‘-n. 'I oen, as ? f a^bauied of
hevse't, with a shy, eb..t nabig wav»
she k’ssdbe. own f. ir baud where b ; s
lips had touched it.
‘Oh, I do Jove h ; m ! Dow h- nny he
will be wheu 1 .ell Irm so his even**
ing. !’
Bet when !he evening ca;we yud
M;»* iel. so beauti ul i a her bl .ck diesf
—she never wo 3 aught bu^ M. ck
and white—gk ced li.df v,'vc e<v,
half shyly, among he fur .ier
love , she le..i n-d .hat he b .d le t iie
bote', a id gone aw. v th^t ve v af ev
noon.
Gone w : .u his bu Jen that ooiy her
hand could Tiv, yet lich 'n a b.uve
fieth that .nude Muv'e? abide he-; bne,
only a few weeks hence, when I be f ost
would tliK- tee wood!a rJ, and she
wuu3 her secret o b 1 m.
f iic windows of Muriel Evelyn’s
bedroom op-ued wiue. Over the ele
gr ’t ro oitKinen A of the ap> tment,
from ihe silver chains of Lie ebande*
Ter dow.i ihe da’.y fight c. * >et, a
wc ; d, uneai.hly shade of frerv red
wa - flung like a bloody war flag.
A no in lie- tiuil-ng whi ; e cashmee
d essng-gown Mu.iel s oed at ihe
whidow unmindful of the shon s and
yells of the t amping crowd below or
the rush of fie engince. Sue was levi¬
ed ‘here ’ i s'o-’v, bos ’’.fie iuscmaiion,
gaoing at the w de lea ding banner of
seedling ti.e that was in iro.nf, on ei¬
ther side end be’.’nid her. She bad
been roused from her sleep by a vague
sense of imp.endmg evil ; she had
opened he ey<s to sne her room de¬
luged w'Ji wnguine J’gfil, she h. d
sprang iiom her bed ,o .be w udow
to ^nd he self i i a p.'.oi ofii e.
It was a ‘e riblv mign-ucent
leuu. Tue splendid room so soon to
be the p eyof fi e , the fi ol gleam on
the snowv bod. ihe c.iele sir scat—
e ed jewe v, a ’ti as *i t^edy to be
the u.ci JCO, of ihe p..le girl, wMi her
bu ro.-di’ated evee, hea -Ireaming
black h. h, her clasped b nds, her i'fc
Ce bare loot. The smoke 0 ew den**
set*. Ma iel wanted one, enfiy one
long, free lespizsi'on, she was so aw
ii/'v hot with bat b.raih! she -
Ah ! there was a vague sm ? ot some
one rnsurog in her room, a feeling as
if a blanket was dashed over her Dead;
a knowledge of being borne rapidly
don 5 lien ir\ then out and away ;
and .hen when she w. s laid on a couch
bomewbe.e, it was Albert Ciiauncev
that wn•* bent over her for just a brief *
raptuious moment.
l ‘Thank God !’
i It was all he said, and before she
...
EASTMAN, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, SEPrEMBER 25, 1S79.
could apeak or motion lobirn be was
off.
K'ncl women whose homes had been
spared in Jiat te; iib ! e conflugt ;tion,
CiTeJ for ner and otbes, who had
been SQulehed. as had Muiel, like
brands from the burning ; and then,
while it made her hear.' leap wl‘h
speech!-ss estacy, Muriel hea.d how
Chauncey, her Albert Chauncey, had
wo.ked all dial night wi«h a si augth
superhum >n, a cou age . s daunles*
and as gun/.
‘How I love him, my d. ling, oey
darling !’ was the quiet, p ssion. le
y .h.*t k?pt welling to the quivering
lips that were only wail mg for hhn to
come agam, <o di.e»nbu>den them¬
selves fj eve".
She neve doub ed hut he wou’d
come, and bow bliss.ul it would be
when he came. Ah, when ha ca ne !
Veiy ieuderlv they bore him, black¬
ened and burned as if the li e'fiend
had branded b<m to punish Ip in for
the victims he had cheaieu it of. And
when jn stony, tea; 1. 38 grief, Muriel
knelt beside him, her hot lips rainmg
pit- u! kic es on bi < dear, dead face,
so ca’m, so noble, she knew in lieu of
that sea e. lesson be would had taught
he’, she was le. n‘ g aloue, ;he very
p st !e u3 • in a fcariul a’phabet of
anguish that wa^ graven forever on
hea.it, bain, and memory ‘though
fire/
Some Remarks on Sleep.
[From the Cl 'cago Led^er.J
Doctors of medicine are either
growbig complacent or sensible. One
of them, Dr. Hid, h: s had the good
^eitse to tell the woild that children,
until the age of 13, and old a n d feeble
peopla (;»rtd might as well have said
everybody) need ten hoars’ sleep,
and that bouncing out of b^d iu the
morning, is as hu.tlul as it is disa¬
greeable ; th .t fiiten or twenty min¬
utes spent in gu dually waking up,
stretching the limbs and le ting the
blood slowly resume its wonted circa-
1-tion, is time well spent. For the
sudden sending of l/ood o the he: u is
a severe shock, and the person who
gets up in ; Yus huMy and m kle s man¬
ner is su”3 to be drowsy by .nic-day,
un’ess he o; she is an editor or a belli •
and does not get up till atfernoon. I
concur in this—in f. ct I knew it was
true, and hink Hut pulling anybody
out ol bed ought to be a Siate-prison
offense, ana doubt not that conviction
for it could be had before
any of ou. sleepv juries if they were
awake enough lo he .r the evidence.
The wo Id is a 1 ! ast ay about th : s mat¬
ter of sleep, led away by nurse.y
couplets about ea’lv to rise a n d the
examples ot Napoleon, Peter the
Gieatond olhe. m’llta-y heroes, who
arc leportod to have been sat’sned
with an hou or ’wo of sleep snatched
from the twenty-four, aken on a
plank, while their half a dozen scribe
bling secreiuries were not allowed to
sleep atalk We aM 1 now what become
oCNapobon. Even Me Abbott can¬
not make it apnea • that he had much
inspect f o.- he lfulei of the Lniveise.
These sleepless men have made mo^tof
the mb chief i,i the world. Catherine de
Medici was, we believe, a fight sleep**
er. George Wash’og on, on the con**
trerv, cook his time, wak d up the
father of Ids country by degrees got
out of b d with delibe i tion,
and c'.esiea b n’self with thoughtful
s'ownes*. What a ridiculous idea it
wouM be to think of that great man
as bouncing out of bed at the first
bell, and d e^s ; ng himself as if there
w is a fi' e nex t door ! The instinct of
childien against early, and especially
sudden, rising is well founded ; and it
is pleasant to have the learned faculty
confirm a long and growing convic¬
tion. that it is not s ; n to l’e in bed till
toe second bell .i igs. It is in the ex**
perience o- the majority of our people
‘hut the most delicious momeuts of
the whole day are Ihose when they
ought to get up, and do not. IJere
afier let them linger iu this delightful
bordor lend with a quiet conscience.
Nature is about to be vindicated by the
scieutientis.s. If the whole of life
could be like that brief interview be^
tween half awaking and getting out
into the cold wmild—that rare space
of time when duly cJls so faitly that
•here is a sw-ef delight in letting it
ca'l before conscience is aroused at all
—one might like to revise the hymn
book, and five always. We have
been now several thousand years go¬
ing sluggard to toe ant and getting away from
die ‘o that degree that we
have developed No a ve y nervous
tion. doubt many of the ueivous
dih,e. ses that are ;ue airibiitea to stock
gambling, tobacco, and unrequited
love ore due to the want of suujcient
sleep from childhood up.
ESCAPED THE ROPE.
The Thrilling Appeal Which
Saved His Life.
One hot day in duly, I860, a herds¬
man was moving his cattle to a new
. anche further north, near Helena,
Texas, and passing down the banks
r. stream, his herd became m’xed with
other cattle that were grazing in the
valley, and some of them failed to be
separated. The next day a band of
about a dozen mounted Texan rangers
overtook the herdsmua and demanded
the ; r cattle, which they seid were sto¬
len.
It w r as before the days of law and
court houses iu Texas, and one had
better kill five men than to steal a mule
worth $5, and the herdsman knew it.
He tried to explain, but they told him
to cut it short. He offered to turn
over all the cattle not his own, but
they laughed at this proposition, and
hinted that they usually confiscated
the whole herd, and left the thief hang¬
ing on a tree as a warning to all others
in like cases.
The poor fellow was completely
overcome. They consulted apart a few
moments, and then told him if he had
any explanation to make or business
to do, they wou’d allow him ten min'
ntes to do so, and defend Ifimselt.J
He turned to the rough faces and
commenced, “How many of you have
wives ?” Two or three nodded. “How
many of you have children ?’ They
nodded again.
‘Then I know who I’m talking to,
and you’ll hear me/ And he contin¬
ued : ‘I never s^ole any collie ; I have
lived in these pai ts over three years.
I came from New Hampshire ; 1 failed
there in the fall of ’67, during the pan¬
ic ; I have been saving ; I lived on
hard fare ; I have slept out Jon the
ground ; I have no home here ; my
family remain East, tor I go from place
.o place ; ihese clothes I wear are
Jough, and I am a hard-looking cus¬
tomer ; but this is a ha’d country ;
da>s seem like months to me, and
months likeyeuis ; married men, you
know that but for t1ic letters from
home’—here he pulled out a hand'ul
of well-worn envelopes and letters
from his wi f 'e—‘I should get discour¬
aged. I have paid part of my debts.—
Here are the receipts,’ and he unfold¬
ed the letters of acknowledgement,—
‘I expscled to sell out and go home in
November. Here is the Testament my
mother gave me ; here is my little
gir/s picture/ And he kissed it ten*
derly, and continued : ‘Now, men, if
you have decid d to k'll me for what
I am innocent of, send home tlmse,a d
send as much as you can fro a the cat¬
tle when I am dead. Can’t you send
half the value?—my family will need
it.’
‘Hold on, now ; stop right thar !’
said a lough ranger. ‘Now, I say>
bovs,’ he continued, ‘I say, let him
go. Give us 3 ’our hand, old boy ;
lhat picture and them letters did the
business. You can go free; but you’re
lnckv^ mind ye/
( We’ll do more than that,’ said
a
man with a big heart, in Texan garb,
and carrying the [customary brae ofe
pistols iu his belt; ‘lei's buv his cattle
here, and let him go.’
they did ; and w’hen the money was
paid over, aud the man was about to
Si art, he was too weak to stand. Tne
long strain of hopes and fears, being
away from borne under such trying
sire urn stances, the sudden deliverance
fiom death, had comlrned to render
him helple s rs a clfild. He sunk to
the ground completely oveicome. An
hour later, however, he left on borse
back tor the nearest stage route ; and
as they shook hands and bade him
good-bye, they looked the bappieot
band of men I ever saw.
It will do no harm if American bov g
lead this story two or three tiroes :
\\ hile a youth ol 13 was playing with
his fellows he ran against the stand of
a poor, dilapidated apple^raan, and
came very near tipping his treasures
into the gutter. Ho instantly raised
his hat and politely arked pardon for
the atiront. When asked by his
mates why he lifted his hat to a poor
*>ld cripple, he replied : ‘1 didn’t do it
because the apple-man was amt a gentle^
man> but rather because I gen
tJeuan/
Base-ball, it will be remembered by
old settlers, is a game played by eig!>
teen persons wearing shirts and diaws.
They scatter around the field and try
to catch a cannon-ball covered with
la " ... ,liae *be game to get people
* is
to p iy 2 shillings to come inside the
fence,
SENTIMENT AND SENSE.
shun it.
One must be poor to know tke lux¬
ury of giving.
To understand the world is w-iser
than to condemn it.
Employment for the mind is what
thousands are in need of.
By being contemptible, we set poo*
pie’s minds to the tune of contempt.
Let amusement fill up the chinks of
your existence, but not the great space
thereof.
To make the world better, lovelier
and happier is the noblest work ol mas
or woman
When alone watch your thoughts ;
in your family your temper ; ?n com¬
pany your tongue.
The virtue we appreciate is as much
ours as another’s. We sec so much
only as we possess.
The rewards of the truly virtuous
are inherent in iheir own lives, from
day to day, and are none the less e»*
jojed, though they are unknown to
all the world.
Too many do good deeds for popular
applause, as the child curbs its way¬
ward propensities for the sake of the
promised sugar plums, only to renew
i.s mischievous pranks with tenfold
In the stress and heat ol the day,
with cheeks burning, with shouts ring¬
ing in the ears, who is so blest as to
remember the yearnings he had au the
cool and si’ent morning, and to know
that he had not belied them ?
Wealth is more envied but least en¬
joyed ; health is frequently enjoyed,
but the least enaied—yet the poorest
man would not oart with his health for
money, but the richest woui 1 gladly
part with his money for health.
The molher’s love is a fust and ab¬
sorbing delight, blunting all other sen¬
sibilities ; it is an expansion of etis
tenca ; it enlarges the imagined range
for self to move in ; but in after years
it can only continue to be joy on the
same teims as other long-lived love-—
that is, by much suppressionjof self
and power oJ living in the experience
ol another.
A Female Cra oe.
The San Francisco journals contain
an account of what they c*»ll a Califor¬
nia Crusoe, an Indian woman who had
for 18 years lived alone ou a dreary
desert island, a id was dually discov¬
ered and taken off by the c;ew of a
v ’ssel in search of her. Many ye-is
ago a small schooner was s at to the
island of San Nicholas, in the Pacific
some 75 mile3 southeast of Santa Bar¬
bara, to biin^ away a number of Indi¬
ans living there and seltlethem on the
main land. Ninetr an men, women and
children had been got on board, when
one of them, a mother, found that two
of her children bad been left behind.
She immediately jumped overboard
and swam for the shore, where she
souget in vain for her children. Having
returned to the shore, she saw die
schooner sailing away, and tried in
vain to attract attention. The islaad
w r as not uisited again in si .teen years.
Then an otter-hunter, naaied George
Nidever, commanding a small vessel,
landed there, and det:c!°d evidences
of human habitation, but could not re¬
in am long enough to prosecute his
que^t ; two years a..er he sailed there
again, and, roaming over the island,
came upon the woman, who was not
at all wild, ard made no effort toes*
cape. She was clad in a garment
fashioned of the skin of a tea-fowl, and
was occupied in skimming sea-blubber>
which bad formed the gicater part of
her diet. She was quite good looking
and seemed about forty years old, and
spoke a language nobody could under**
stand. She died in a few weeks after
reaching Santa B trbara, while living
the house of Nidever, from the ef
f ects 0 f a f a ]| se ;iously injuring her
S pj ne
Some twenty-three miles distant
from Kuighlstown, ind., in a German
settlement, tbeie is a beautiful young
woman, some 21 years of age, daugh¬
ter of Casper Schmidt, who is to all
a PP ear;tncc8 dead, having been
slflte <or ,iearl y ^ months.—
Slie awakens regularly at 10 o’clock
every night and iemaius awake about
twenty minutes, when sUe relapses in¬
to somnolency. She eut3 very little.
- —o * ■■
The average wateriug place belle is
about as useful as a percelrijj pig. The
Hackensack Republican says so, and it
ought to kuow.
-•»-
30,000 persons are out ol employ¬
ment in Glasgow, Scotland.
Grains of Gold.
To know how to wait is the
secret ot success.
All philosophy fies in two words—
“sustain’’ and “abstain.*’
I he greatest misfortune of all is
to be able to bear misfortune.
Indulge iu humor just as much
you please, if it is not ill humor.
If evil be said of thee, and it be
oorreet it ; if it be u lie, laugh at it.
Never call a new acquaintance
his first name, unless requested to
so.
It is more profitable to look up
defects iban to boast of our
meats.
Never answer questions in general
company, that have been put to oth¬
ers.
Never puss between two persons
who are talking together without au
apology.
We can only know ourselves through
the constant study how to govern our*
selves.
Never lend an article which you have
borrowed, unless you have permission
to uo so.
There fs a German proverb which
says that Tako-It-Easy aad Live,-Lo*ig
are brothers.
To regret the one we love is a bless¬
ing compared to the misery of living
with one we hate.
The busv body labors without
thanks, ta’ks without credit, lives
without love, and dies without tea-s.
Sarsaparilla.
Yesterday afleinoon a red-faced
young man belonging to an excursion
paaty called into a Woodward Avenue
drug store and softly asked the soda
fountain boy if he was out of any par¬
ticular kind of syrup. The boy made
an investigation and replied:
‘We aie out of sarsaparilla, bui —
‘That’s all right—all right—you
wait a minute/ intenopted the young
man, and he went away.
The boy took the empty resei voir
from the fountain and refilled it, and
in about five minutes the young man
returned with his girl and four other
people, evidently friends. Walking up
to the fountain be said :
‘I’m going to take sarsaparilla iu
mine, for the doctors recommend it,
and if he hasn‘t sarsaparilla I won r t
take nothing. What do you say ?
‘Oh, we'll all take the same,’ was
the reply.
The young man began to smile, and
his left eye began to draw down, but
wLa)was his herror to see the boy
draw off si t glasses in succession and
push them to the front, where they
were eagerly drained of their contents*
He tiied to give the boy a look of
mingled hate and murderous intent,
hut the 1ad was too busy to see it. He
felt in all his pockats, brought up keys
and pennies and peanuts, and finally
laid down twenty-seven cents, and
whispered :
‘That takes my pile, young man,
aud if I ever catch you outside of town
I‘ll lick you to death .—De roil F.ee
Frets.
Why Men D^e.
An iudignaut subscriber to a news*,
paper went into the office a few
days ago and oidered his papsr stop**
ped because he differed wi;h the edi¬
tor n his'views about subsoiling fence*
ra’ls. The editor conceeded the man's
right stop b’s paper, and remarked
coolly, as he looked over the list :
‘Do you know Jim Sowers down at
Haidsciabble ?’
‘Very well,’said the man.
*V* r ell,he s opped his paper last week
because I thought a iarmer was a
blamed fool who didn’t kaow that
t'Tnolhy was a good thing to graft on
hucklebeiry bushes, aud he died in
less tbau four hours.’
'Gracious! is that so ?’ ask'd the as*
tonSlieit farmer.
‘Yes,’ and you know old Geo.
Erickson, dowo on Eagle ceek?’
‘Well, I’ve keard of him/
stopped ‘Well,’ li is said the eduoi gravely, the ‘he
paper because he was
happy father of twins,- and we con¬
gratulated him on success so late in
life. He fell dead in twenty minutes.
The e’s lots of similar cases,but it don’t
mat er ; I'll just e.o.' your name o3,
though you don’, look s ong, anti
there’s a bad color on your nose/
‘See here, Mister Editor,’ said the
subscriber looking somewhat alaimed,
‘I believe I’ll je.*t keep on ano.her
yeir, because I always did like your
paper, and, come to think about it,
you're a young man and some allow¬
ances otter to be made/ and he de*.
parted satisfied from that he had made a
narrow escape death.
NO. M
WIT AJVD HUMOR.
A fat office—The soap borer’s.
A stern necessity—A patch on a fel¬
low’s pants.
Where there’s a will there’s a way
—for a lawyer’s fee.
Dot oil has an “Applepie street,”
and the upper ciust dou‘t live on it,
either.
A young man's sweetheart having
soured on him, lie now calls her Uj#
sweet tart.
A thin man dressed in black, with a
white high hat, looks l : ke a lead pencil
with a rubber top.
“Can you suppoit me, darling?’ is
the name of a new song. How mm h
do you weigh, love ?
A Maine man has invented a new
paper collar, which he calls the
“Worm,” because i ( will turn.
Why are good resolutions I’fee a
>quailing baby in church? Because
they shor’d always be carried out.
In fleeing from his pursuers, i thief
slipped a id fell upon a piece of ice,
and w as captured. This is what may
be fitly termed stern justice.
A mau was walking along a Chicago
street singing, ‘Heaven is my ho ne/
‘Don’t you feel homesick ?’ asked a
smul’ boy who passed lurn.
We are always told to put our best
foot forward. A mule always puls
bis best foot backwa d, and he puls it
strong.
Why is it that at the hotel the man
who goes is c/’ed the waiter, and the
man who really does all the waiting is
called the guest ?
After dinner, among friends, by one
of tha guests : ‘Isn't one of U 3 going,
that we may have some to run down!’
A young gentleman was accusing
another of having a big mouth, ‘but
the Lord made youis small so as to
give you plenty cf cheek/
Somebody once called d’sappoitit-.
meat ‘medicine for the soul.’ It is a
good deal like castor oil—it may be
wholesome; it is disagreeable.
Jefferson said : '‘We seldom repent
ofh tying oaten too fit tie.” He never
went out to fish all day without eat’ng
before starting.
The fact that Georgo Washington's
wife never asked where lie had been
when he came home lale at night, goes
a great way toward accounting for
Ifis extreme truthfulness.
A New Yorker has been arrested
for stealing seventeen thousand hair
pins. It is supposed that he was mak¬
ing provisions tor running away to b
a Mormon elder.
‘I’m a a ruta baga, ana here’s where
I plant myself/ said a tramp, as he en¬
tered a farmhouse near Freeport, HI ,
and seated himself at the table. ‘We
aller8 bile ours/ said the farmer’s
wife, and she soused with a dishpau
ful of boiling water.
A country subscriber wants advice
on the best way to raise boys. It de*
pends altogether on high he wants to
raise them. \ nu nbet twelve boot
might raise them a model: te send off.
Keep the jellv jar on the top shelf is
also a good idea.
Here is the way the editor of the
Charleston (YV. V.) Leader |heralds to
his readers h : s joy over one of those
w’udf ills which are liable to happen in
almost any family :
A
9 tt>
Boy
Born.
Worth
At least
$ 10 , 000.00
To the editor
Ot the Leader,
Mother Tuesday, 22d mst.
and child
Doing very well and tin*
Father as well as could
Reasonably be expected.
A “fat take,” brethren—shake.