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THE MONROE JUk ADVERTISER
GEORGE A. KING k CO.
VOL. XX) !l.
Professional Cards.
T. W. KING,
Justice of the Peace.
\
Office in the Court-house, up stairs.
Will attend to any collections intrusted to
his care. feblfltf
K L BERNER. C. A. TURNER.
BERNER & TURNER,
ATTORNEYS A.T LAW,
KoiUOill. :::::: : ; : UF.OIiOiA
WILL practice in all the courts. Prompt at
tent ion given to all ltfsiness entrusted to
hem. The collection of claims a specialty.
(>lll re Up st airs'in Pye’s Hall. octl7
T. C. BATTLE,
ATTORNEY LAA'W',
IOUSVIU GEO-
Will practice in tle Superior Courts of Mon
roc ami adjoining counties Also in the Su
preme Court. Will give close attention to all
business entrusted to him. Collecting doubtful
cairns a specialty, Ollice in Court bouse.
novlStt.
J. A. ‘.HUNT. T. O. JACOB.
Harncsville, For>tb.
Hunt & Jacob,
Attorneys At Law,
"I-'OIIKITII, GA.
Will practice in all the courts. State and
Federal
aar-Alr. Hunt will be in Forsyth whenever
required. fel)l2 tf
Lr. L. B. ALiXii AIDER
(Miens Ids professional services to the citizens of
FORSYTH
ann surrounding country. Calls may be left
at his residence or at the Drug Store of F. 0.
Mays and will receive prompt attention.
Dr. Alexander respectfully announces that
heretofore his plantation in Houston county
has required his absence from home occasion
ally for several days at a tune, hut his arrange
ments are such now as to enable him to devote
bis entire time to the practice of medicine, and
he will always be found at home or at his
office when not professionally engaged.
Forsyth, July 15. 1878. if
DENTISTRY.
I have opened an office in the Adver
tiser building (first room to the right, up
stairs) and am prepaired to do all kinds of
QTEETtQ DENTAL
P work
ill a faithful and satisfactory manner. When
parties are not prepared to come to my office,
if notified 1 will cheerfully call at their res
idences.
T. E. CHAMBERS.
Isaac W. Ensign,
DEALER IN
Books, Stationery, Etc
Hooks and Stationery,at lowest cash prices.
news - /> gent.
Subscriptions received for all newspapers
and periodicals. A full line of school books
at publishers prices. Special inducements to
teachers. febLJ (jm.
Matthew Semple & Cos.
MliMl MiUIWIS.
IT South Wuicr St., l*lillu<U‘!i>liia,
Fo>- the sale of all kinds of
Si >UT II CUN PR< >I>UOE.
Dried Fruits
A. SPJECIA.LTY.
Satisfactory advance made when desired
gar'SO.OOO Fruit Stick# far Stile tit a Bargain.
Uefer to Tuk Monroe‘Advertiser.
FORSYTH
MALE INSTITUTE
TIIE FALL TERM BEGINS MONDAY,
Aug 19th, and will continue four months-
THTIOX PAYABLE HIOXTHLY.
The amount paid me by the County Board
of Education will be credited pro rata on the
tuition of the pupils.
\\. I>. Till'IDIOM),
july22 tf Priuripal-
Monroe Fema’.u* College.
FORSYTH, GA.
I his long established Institution of Learning
w ill resume exercises
August 26, 1878.
A full Board of Instruction, a healthful and
pleasant location, the refilling influences of
one of the most intelligent and moral com
munities in the State excellent facilities for
attainment in the fine arts, all tend to com
mend it to favorable consideration.
Board and Literary tuition have been reduc
ed till the expense of both for the fall tern.,
of four months, is only S7O.
Those desirous of procuring for their daugh
ters superior advantages of mental and social
culture would do well to send at once for a
catalogue of the Institution.
Thankful to the public for the liberal patron
age of the past, 'lie Institution looks with re
newed hope and confidence to the prospect of
the future.
R. T. ABBUTRY, President.
S. G. UILLYER, D. D
THE IXsEEX WITNESS.
Tlte ship Americus. engaged in the East In
dian merchant service, was on her homeward
passage. Her crew were jubilant at the pros
pect of soon reaching home; but probably no
one aboard the ship was in better spirits than
the skipper’s pretty daughter, Mabel Stanford,
who had accompanied her father on this voy
age.
When, suddenly, like a thunderbolt from a
clear sky, a dark cloud of wrongs and suffer
ings, which had been hanging over the ship,
broke upon them in all its terrible power,
sending broken hearts and death into their
midst, chilling the hopes of the crew and driv
ing the captain and his daughter nearly dis
tracted with grief.
Mabel Stanford was the general favorite of
that ship’s company. No one could help liking
and admiring her pleasant ways; and she, all
unconscious of the fearful web she was inno
cently weaving, did her best to make the voy
age pleasant.
Among Miss Stanford’s most ardent admit
era, and one whom she seemed especially to
favor, was the second mate, young Frank
Heywood, who loved her w ith all his heart.
It was whispered among the crew that he
would make a good match; but the skipper
did not look upon the would-be union in that
light; and it was generally known that he
would prefer the first mate, Warren Gregg,
w ho was also a suitor for his daughter’s hand.
Warren Gregg, the first mate, was a man
not far from thirty, who had followed the sea
from his boyhood, and was considered a first
class seaman. He was a little below medium
height, with a stout, thick-set frame, and frank,
open features, which greatly belied his true
disposition.
This was the second trip as mate of the
Americus; and though he had succeeded in
winning the good will of the captain, he was
generally disliked by the erew for his haughty
and overbearing ways That lie loved Miss
Stanford with all the ardor of which his nature
was capable, there was no doubt; and it is
perhaps needless to say that he looked upon
the attention the manly, handsome Heywood
paid her with anything but pleasure In fact
he was mad with jealousy; and the opportuni
ty only was wanting for his pent lip passion to
break forth in a torrent of hatred and ven
geance.
However, he had so managed to govern his
actions that no one dreamed of the fierce men
tal conflict which was racking his brain-
Affairs were at thisstate—Miss Mabel openly
receiving the attentions of Heywood, while
her father and brother, the supercargo, were
silently working to bring about a different re
sult, and Gregg still trying to win her from his
rival, his passions growing fiercer and fiercer
as his case grew more hopeless, till plans for
revengeful triumph went flitting through his
brain, ready to be tried in case fair means
should fail—when an accident occurred which
tended to bring about an estrangement between
the captain and his daughter’s lover-
It had been tlie aim of the unscrupulous
Gregg from the first to bring about a quarrel
between the captain, or his son Lewis, and
Heywood. Thus he was continually embitter
ing the minds of both against the young mate,
until at last his object was accomplished.
Heywood and young Stanford had an open
quarrel, brought about by the shrewd machi
nations of the first mate, who had caused the
hotheaded supercargo to accuse the other of
stealing a ring he had so mysteriously lost,
which of course quickly aroused the temper of
the latter, when a hot discussion followed that
would have no doubt ended in blows if some
of the crew had not interfered.
The sympathies of tlie captain in this quar
rel were with his son; and those of Mabel
with her lover, whom she did not consider at
all to blame.
It was not far from the middle of the night
following the quarrel of Ilevwood and Star,
ford ; and, save the gentle moaning of tlie wind
through the rigging, and the rippling of the
water as tlie ship ploughed on her course, was
silent as death, when the helmsman, peering
out with straining eyes into the impenetrable
gloom of the black expanse beyond, was sud
denly aroused from the drowsiness that was
stealing over him, by hearing a cry for help,
and then a splnsli in the water from off tlie lee
bow.
He quickly turned to ask the supercargo,
who hut for a moment before had been stand
ing by his side, the cause of the noise, when
he saw that the young man was gone.
Then the truth instantly flashed through his
mind, and he shouted in a startling excited,
tone —
“Man overboard!”
It seemed but an instant from the giving of
the alarm, before the captain and crew were
on deck—and lights being quickly brought
they rushed to the place whence the helms
man bad heard the civ, when to their
surprise they discovered tlie second mate, a
wild and haggered look upon his face, holding
in his hand a heavy, murderous looking club.
“ What means this? ” thundered the skipper,
as thoughts of foul p!ay flashed through his
brain.
Rut, amazed and startled, Heywood was si
lent
“ Who is lost? ” cried the captain in the next
instant.
But before anyone had time to answer him,
his own eyes told him.
” Vly God! 'lis Lewis! and that red handed
villi" has mtmlered him !—quick, men ! hoist
all the lights and man the boats! Let every
thing t>e done that can he, as quickie as possi
ble. He may be living, and it' you save him,
this shall lie a good night’s job for yon. Work,
work, for vour lives!”
The orders of the grief-strieken father were
readily obeyed. But, though lights were
hoisted, ami (mats sent out in every di
rection, nothing could be found of the lost
one at last it was given np as $ hopeless
case, and the men returned to the ship, when
Fr ink Heywood was seized for the murder of
Stanford.
No more sleep visited tie ship that night.
The sorrowing father paced the dec a till day
light; and in the cabin below, his daughter
was Slabbing for the death of her only brother,
and for him accused of that terrible deed.
In the morning Heywood was arraigned be
fore the crew on the clurge of w ilful murder.
Nothing seemed lacking to sulistantiate bis
guilt. His quarrel with young Stanford, and
the circumstances under which he hail been
found after the alarm, together with his ap-
FORSYTH, GEORGIA. TUESDAY MORNING, AUGUST 13, 1878.
pearance at the time, seemed sufficient to prove
bis guilt.
"i et be stoutly protested bis innocence, say
ing. in explanation of his conduct, that he had
harbored no ill-feeling ag dnst Lewis, but had
been ready to forgive and be forgiven.
As to bis being found with that murderous
looking club in his hands, it was accidental.
Feeling anxious al>out the w eather,he had left
his bunk to go upon deck, and was just in sea
son to hear the cry which bad caused the
alarm.
Hastening to the spot, he stumbled over
something in his path! It was the club which
he had in his hands when they discovered him
a few moments later, with that wild look upon
his face, caused by the fear that some horrible
crime bad been committed
Heywood’s story was received with shouts
of derision. Tlte circumstantial evidence was
too overwhelming against him for any one to
have the least suspicion that his seemingly in
consistent story w'as anything but a false fab
rication gotten up for the occasion.
As soon as order could be restored, the cap
tain stepped forward with a pair of jnanacles,
and, placing them upon the doomed man’s
wrists, said:
“ Before God and man, Frank Heywood, 1
believe you guilty of murdering my son.
Therefore, I secure you in irons, and order that
you be kept in close confinement until we
reach pott, when you shall be delivered over
to the proper authorities to meet the punish
ment you so justly deseive.”
“ Here,” he added, turning to his crew,
“ some of you take Mr. Heywood below ”
“Oh, father don’t!” cried Mabel, who had
been a silent spectator of the scene. “He did
not do it! I know he did not! ”
“Tut, tut, girl, no more of this!” said her
father sternly. “ Men, do your duty ! ”
A couple of sailors stepped up to obey their
superior’s order, when, with a low cry, Mabel
sprang forward between them and her lover,
as if to shield him from their grasp
Without a word, the captain, in spite of her
tearful entreaties, rudely snatched his daugh
ter away.
Heywood, chancing to look up, caught sight
of the mate. Warren Gregg, standing but a
short distance off an exultant look of fiendish
satisfaction gleaming from bis usually expres
sionless eyes.
It was plainly a look of scornful triumph;
and as the sailors placed their hands upon his
shoulder, the young man fully realized the
peril of his situation, and from what source it
was due. But further thought or action was
suddenly stayed by a loud cry from the sea
off the lee bow.
The next instant there was plainly heard, in
a strangely familiar voice, the startling words,
tluice repeated :
“ All a lie ! All a lie ! All a lie /”
Scarcely had the intonations of tlie strange
words died away, and before the surprised
and startled crew had time to recover from the
shock of the unexpected and mysterious warn
ing, when again the same voice, sounding so
much like the dead, was heard, giving this
time the surprising expression:
‘ ’Twas Warren Gregg ! ’Twas Warren
Gregg ! ’Twas Warren Gregg ! ”
To attempt to portray the astonishment and
startled amazement of officers and crew, would
be a failure. Their actions were beyond de
script ion
One and all stood in blank astonishment,
staring uneoneiously perhaps, upon the first
mate, who, like the guilty wret Mi he was,
trembled from head to foot a deatlilv pallor
overspreading his features, until maddened to
desperation by the terrible accusation of the
mysterious, unseen accuser. Ids pent, up guilt,
which he could hold no longer, burst forth
into a wild, frenzied cry
“ Wh a dares to accuse me ? ”
The quick eye of Heywood, if no oilier, saw
the guilt Gregg so plainly showed; and,
prompted by self interest, he exclaimed :
“I do!’’
“Liar!” hissed the trembling wretch, and
then, with a horrible oath, lie hounded upon
him, murder plainly written upon bis every
look and action But the sailors quickly in
terposed, when he turned upon then', and a
fierce struggle ensued.
“ Secure him ! ” cried the skipper, as soon as
the crew had succeeded in overpowering him.
“ We will keep both in irons and wait further
developments.”
But though everything was done that could
be to ascertain the cause of those strange cries
from the sea, the day passed without solving
the mystery, and the superstitious sailors a’l
believed that the dead had spoken. And their
belief was strengthened, when there was heard,
at different intervals the following night, the
same voice, only more sad and mournful, say
ing this time:
“ Warren Gregg a murderer! a murderer! a
murderer! ’’
The next morning Gregg called the captain
below, to whom he made a full confession of
his crime, saying lie had killed Lewis, mistak
ing him for young lleyw.ood, and then, upon
his bended knees the guilty wretch begged for
mercy.
The only reply he received was to wait until
he reached port.
Gregg’s confession clearing Heywood of all
guilt, lie was freed at once, and partly to atone
for the injustice he had done him, the captain
gave him the berth of the first officer.
One morning, a few days later, Gregg was
missing; and as no trace of him could be found,
it was supposed that he must have got upon
the deck during the night, when, unseen and
unheard, he h:ul thrown himself into the sea
That to escape the punishment of man he had
gone to receive the judgment of bis Maker,
with another crime upon his already blackened
soul.
The voice from the sea was not heard after
the murderer’s confession and soon the su
perstitious mariners ceased to speak of it,
having solved the mystery to their satisfaction
bj* deciding that the dead had spoken in vindi
cation of the character of Frank Heywood
In the due course of time port was' safely
made.
A year later, Frank Heywood anil Mabel
Stanford were united in wedlock, amid the
congratulations of all their friends.
But the strangest and best part of it all w.is,
that among the wedding guests was Lewis
Stanford, the bride’s brother, who, instead of
having perished on that night, as was supposed,
had, by the aid of a box which had been thrown
overboard among other things, managed to
Keep afloat till morning, when an outward-
‘ln <3-od we Trust ”
bound ship picked him up; and after consid
erable difficulty he had succeed in getting
home in season to attend his sister’s wedding.
Tims tlieir cup of happiness was full to
overflowing, and in their great joy, the crimes
and misdoings of the evil minded mate were
forgiven and forgotten.
\ ears afterward, a flock of young Hey woods
would gather round their mother and ask her
to repeat to them the story of that fearful or
deal of a life, when their father saved himself
from an ignominious death by his of
ventriloquism which, unknown to his accusers,
he possessed, and used with such a satisfactory
result.
<>raiiiN of Bold
None are overstocked with patience.
The right must sometimes yield or fight.
Temper is so good a thing that we should
never use it
It is better to need relief than to want a
heart to give it.
It is a very easy thing for a man to be wise
for other people.
A punctual man can always find leisure; a
negligent one never.
Let not the stream of your life always he a
murmuring stream.
AH persons know when they are knaves
few when they are fools.
Most men like self-sacrifice in their friends
better than in themselves.
Every art is best taught by example ; good
deeds produce good friends.
Purposes, like eggs, unless they he hatched
into action, run into rottenness.
Men generally make way for him who is
determined to push boldly past them.
It is a truth not often realized, that men
must be already wise in order to love wisdom.
If patrons were more disinterested, ingrati
tude would probably be a great deal more rare.
If you listen patiently to calumny, you are
only a trifle less guilty than the actual calum
niator.
When the sun of virtue is set, the blush of
shame is the twilight When that dies, all is
darkness.
The maniK r in which a command is obeyed
is of more importance than the mere fulfill
ment of it.
When we get old our friends find it very
difficult to please us, and care but litttle wheth
er we are pleased or not.
Grapple with opportunity, and as you can’t
know when opportunity will come, keep your
grappling iron always ready.
Good temper is like a sunny day—it sheds a
brightness over everything; it is the sweet
ener °f toil and soother of disquiet
The Foolish Traveler,
“ I should like very much to hear a story,”
said a youth to his teacher. “I hate serious
instruction; I cannot b ar preaching.”
‘•Listen, then,’ said die teacher.
“ A wanderer filled his traveling pouch v ith
savory meats and fruits, as his way would had
him acrossa wild desert. During the first Jew
days he journeyed through the smiling, fei ile
fields. Instead of plucking the fruits which
nature here offered for the refreshment of the
traveler, he found it more convenient to eat of
the provisions which he carried with him. lie
soon reached the desert. After journeying
onward for a few days his whole store of food
was exhausted. lie now began to wail and
lament, for nowhere sprouted a Wade of grass;
everything was covered with burning sand.
A ft*r suffering lor two long days in torments
of hunger and thirst he expired.”
“ H was foolish in him,” said the youth, “to
forget that he had to cross tlie desert ”
“ Do you act more wisely?” asked the teach
er, in an earnest tone. “ You are setting fortli
on the journey of life, a journey that leads to
eternity. Now is the time when you should
seek after knowledge, and collect the treasures
of wisdom; but the labor affrights you ; you
prefer to trifle away the spring time of your
.'eais amid useless and childish pleasures.
Continue to act thus, and you will yet, upon
the journey of life, when wisdom and virtue
t id you, rare like that hapless wanderei.”
Do you act more wisely? This is the mean
ing of tlte parable to the reader.
Attachment to Xcwqttipcrt
Someone who seems to know about the re
lation of a good newspaper to the family
writes as follows: ’
“ The strong attachment of subscribers to
well conducted newspapers is fully confirmed
by publishers. ‘Stop my paper,’ words of
dread to beginners in business, lose their terror
after a paper has been established for a term
of years. So long as a paper pursues a just,
honorable and judicious course, meeting the
wants of its customers in all respects, the
ties of friendship between the subscribers
and the paper are as hard to break by an out
side third parly as the link which binds old
friends in business or social life. Occasional
deficts and errors in a newspaper are over
looked by those who have become attached to
it, through its perusal, for years. They some
times become dissatisfied with it on account
of something which has slipped into its col
umns, and may stop taking it; but the absence
of the familiar sheet at their homes and offices
for a few weeks becomes an insuppor’ahle pri
vation, and they hasten to take it again, and
possibly apologize for having it stopped. No
friendship ou earth is more constant than that
contracted by the reader for a journal which
mak< > an honest ar.d earnest effort to merit its
continued support, nence a conscientiously
conducted paper becomes a favorite in the
family ”
The Siamese Twin* Outdone.
The Siamese twins may take a back seat,
for the SL Benoit twins have arrived at the
New York aquarium. Hose and Marie are
their names, an 1 they may be described either
as two girls with one abdomen and one pair of
legs, or as one girl with two head3, two chests
and two pair of arms.
Rose is a blonde, Marie a brunette, each is
French and seven months old, from St. Benoit,
a village near Montreal, Canada. Their pa
rents are demure peasants, w ho appear to love
the twin offspring. Their mother nurses them
as any other mother would nurse a single
child, or a bona fide set of twins.
Together their shape is more like a capital
letter T than aY. The right leg is used by
Rose and the left by Marie who has no au
thority w hatever over the right leg, nor Rose
any over the left leg. They have one stomach
between tLem. Rose sometimes sleeps while
Marie laughs, and vice versa.
The 1 are of Children.
PLAIN AN SIMPLE RULES TO RE OBSERVED BT
MOTHERS DURING THE HOT SEASON.
The Board of Health of New York has
published the following rules for the care of
children during the hot season, which apply
qui:e as well to children in this locality as to
those in New York:
NURSING OF INFANTS.
Over feeding docs more harm than anything
else; nurse an infant a month or two every
two or three hours.
Nt rse an infant of six months and over five
times in twenty four hours, and no more.
If an infant is thirst}’, give it pure water or
barley water; no sugar.
On tlie hottest days a few drops of whisky
may be added to either water or food; the
whisky not to exceed a teaspoonful in twenty
four hours.
feedinq of infants.
Boil a teaspoouful of powdered barley
(ground in coffee grinder) and a gill of water,
with a little salt, for fifteen minutes, strain,
then mix it with half as much boiled milk,
add a lump of white sugar, size of a walnut,
and give it lukewarm, from a nursing bottle.
Keep bottle and mouth piece in a bowl of
water when not in use, to which a little soda
may be added.
For infants five or six months old, give half
barley water and. half boiled milk, with salt,
and a lump of sugar.
For older infants, give more milk than bar
ley water.
For infants very costive, give oatmeal in
stead of barley- Cook and strain as befote.
When your breast milk is only half enough,
change off between breast milk and this pre
! pared food.
In hot weather, If blue litmus paper, applied
; to the food, turns red, the food is too acid,
and you must make a fresh iness, or add a
pinch of baking soda.
Infants of six months may have beef tea or
beef soup once a day, by itself, or mixed with
other food; and when ten or twelvemonths
j old, a crust of bread and a piece of rare beef
to suck.
i No children under two years ought to cat at
your table.
i Give no candies, in fact, nothing that is not
contained in these rule*, without a doctors
orders.
SUMMER COMPLAINT.
It comes from over feeding, and hot and
cold air. Keep doors and windows open.
Wash your children well with cold water
twice a day, and oftener in the hot season.
Never neglect looseness of the bowels in an
infant; consult the family or dispensary phy
sician at once, and he will give you rules about
what it should take and how it should be
nursed. Keep your rooms as coo] as possible;
have them well ventilated, and do not allow
any bad smell to come from sinks, privies, gar
bage boxes, or gutters about the house where
you live See that your own apartments are
right.
Tom Thumb is rather fat, bearded, and looks
his age of forty years, according to a corre
spondent of the Boston Ilerald who visited
him a few days ago at his home in Middlelior?,
Mass. Ilis mother, and his married brother
and sister live in the neighborhood. He showed
a tiny coat that he wore over thirty years ago,
when first exhibited, and said : “ I used to slip
into this easy enough, but now, why I don’t
believe an ordinary sized man could more than
squeeze two of his fingers into that sleeve.
Those were the days when I was a little chap,
and no mistake. 1 used to weigh only about
twenty pounds, and measured an even eighteen
inches high; but now,” slapping his thigh,
“ 1 m a portly old fellow' of seventy pounds,
and I guess I’m a little rising forty inches. I
stopped growing tall— queer to speak about
my being tall, isn’t it? —when I was about
twenty two years old Since then I’ve been
maturing and getting stout.” Tom denied
Ram urn’s story about a rivalry between hint
and Commodore Nutt for the hand of Lavinia
| Warren. “ Vina never looked on him except
! as a hoy,” he said, “ lie was so much younger
; than she ” As to the reports of Nutt’s mar
riage with Minnie Warren, who recently died,
he said: “People fell naturally into the idea
because they were of the same age—he was
horn in April and she in June, 1849—and
| traveled so much together. Sometimes hotel
! keepers would tell us that such and such a
j room had been set apart ‘ for Mr. and Mrs.
Commodore Nutt,’ and they were surprised to
learn that there was no ‘ Mrs. Nutt.’ Major
Newell, to whom she was married in July of
last year, is twenty three years old.”
Hamilton'* Last Hays.
John C. Hamilton, a son of Alex. Hamilton,
gives a correspondent of the Philadelphia
Times this pathetic incident o ? his father:
“ My father's residence was in the country,
toward the north of New York Island. His
law office in the city was rather a shabby af
fair. The day before the duel I was sitting in
a room, when at a slight noise, I turned round
and saw my father in the doorway, standing
silently there and looking at me with a most
sweet and beautiful expression of countenance.
It was full of tenderness, and without any of
the business prc-occupation he someiimes had.
‘John,’he said when I had discovered him,
‘ won't you come and sleep with me to-niglit!’’
His voice was very frank, as if he had been
my brother instead of my father. That night
I went to his bed, and in the morning very
early he awakenad me, and taking my hands
in his palms, all .four hands extended, lie said
and told me to repeat the Lord’s Prayer.—
Seventy -five years have passed over my head,
and I have forgotten many things, but not
that tender expression when he stood looking
at me in the door, nor the prayer we mat e to
gether the morning before the duel.”
- ■
A young lady entered a popular drug store
not long since, and accosting one of the pro
prietors, inquired if there was any method by
which a large dose of castor oil could be taken
without the usual nauseous taste. “Oh, yes
madam, we can arrange that for you.” The
lady cast her eyes about the store and compli
men ted the gentleman on its fine appearance,
and w is inriWl to take a glass of soda water,
which she accepted, and having drank it off
and waiting a moment, reminded the man of
drugs of her errand. “ That is all right,
madam,” he replied, “ you took it with your
soda.” “ O Lord!” exclaimed the yonng lady
with a look of consternation, “ I wanted it for
my mother;” Tableau.
Hat Flirtation.
For the past two years there has been a
pleasant rivalry among literary people to de
vise a mode of expressing the thoughts by
certain signs and acts, so as to be understood
and read by parties distant To this end they
first devised the handkerchief flirtation, then
the fan, and now the glove, each in turn be
coming the more popular as they Mere invent
ed. Among a certain class, however, there
was a vague, uncertain sort of deficiency; a
kind of undescribable sort of lacking that
failed to cover the ground. A few of our
young men had no gloves, and others were
without fans, and still a greater number were
frequently unprepared to give a creditable
handkerchief entertainment by reason of the
great wasbgr women monopoly which is car
ried to such an extent in cities. To meet this
long felt want the Champion has designed a
flirtation with the hat, which will be duly en
tered according to Congress as soon as a fea
sible entrance to Congress can be effected.
In introducing a flirtation with the bat it
has been the experience of many of our most
proficient flirters that it is better to raise tlie
hat perpendicularly from the head a few inches
so the object of your flirtation may be satisfied
of the absence of bricks or other cutaneous
substances which are sometimes fatal to the
success of your advances. The following aie
the different interpretations:
To wear the hat on the right eyebrow—
Please step to one side, I'm bad. *
To wear the hat on the left eyebrow—Are you
there, Moriarty ?
To xvear the hat on the bridge of the nose—
We are watched—by the police.
To wear the hat on the right ear—You wil.
find my photograph on sale with all the prfn
cipal newsdealers.
To wear the hat on the left ear—l love you,
but livery teams and ice cream are up so that
it will be impossible for me to carry on the
acquaintance.
To carry the hat in the hand—Your father’s
financial condition is such that it will not jus
tify me. ' You need not hope.
To place the hat on tlie back of the bead—
I am yours; ask mother. —Alchiton (Kan.)
Champion.
The Glove Language
For the benefit of young lady graduates
whose curriculum has uot embraced the im
portant subject of the vocabulaary of the
gloves, the follovvingjis copied tat second hand)
from an English paper:
Drop a glove—Yes.
Crumble the glove in the right hand -No.
Half unglove the laft hand —Indifference.
Tap the left shoulder with the gloves—Fol'
low me.
Tap the chin with the gloves —I love you
no longer.
Turn the gloves inside out—l hate you.
Fold the gloves neatly—l should like to be
with you.
Put on the left glove, leaving the thumb
uncovered—Do you love me ?
Drop both gloves—l love you.
Twirl tlie glove around the fingers—Be care
ful; we are watched.
Slap tlie back of the hand with the gloves—
I am vexed.
Take a glove in each band and separate the
hands—l am furious.
A Mreet C’ar Scene.
“ I M’ant to knoM F if this is a steam injun or
a boss car?” yelled a woman with a yellow
complexion like an old boot, as she hooked the
conductor in the coat collar with the handle of
Her umbrella and pulled him back with a jerk
that came very near stretching him out on the
hay.
“ Really, mum, I don’t understand you,’
stammered the young man
“ You don’t, eh? No, I’ll be bound you
don’t; but if you don’t stop this car, and
mighty sudden, too, I’ll give you a taste of
this umbrella over your wooden bead that you
will understand. Here I’ve been motionin
and sliakin’ my fist at you foi tlie last two
minutes, but there you stahd grinnin’ like a
cheesy cat at the gals on the sidewalk, and
never onst sliyed in your eyes to see how
your passengers u coinin’ on. There, now,
help me out with my baskets, and look sharp
about it. You have carried me five blocks
furder’n I w anted to go, and I want you to
tell the man that runs that car cornin’ yonder
to pass me back free. I’m a patient woman,
and never say much, but I’ve got lots of in
fluence, young man—for my man is fireman
in a printin’ office down town —and if you
know which side your bread is buttered on,
you’ll attend to business a little sharper the
next time I’m aboard. That’s al!. You bear
me?”
Mat Down on liU Sire.
A little fellow, one afternoon, was prepur.
idg bis fishing tackle to go fishing next day,
aDd his father said :
“ Johnny, what are you going to do?”
“I am going fishing tomorrow,” sai l the
boy.
“No you are not. \ou arc going to Sunday
school. Besides, the fish won’t bite on Sunday.”
“ Oh, I know they will. Didn’t I try- it 1 ist
Sun—no I didn’t neither!”
“ So, you little rascal, you have been fishing
on Sunday, have you?” said his father, and
he cut him a switch and gave the boy a sound
whipping.
When he got through, the boy sai I, through
his sobs, “I-I am go-going to tell-tell about
you-you kisssing th-the hired girl in the ki
ki-kitchen last night, when ma went out to
to tend the baby,” and he starteu-for the house.
“ Here, Johnny,” said his father, putting his
hand in his pocket, “ here is a quarter- I didn't
know' I was whipping you so hard. I don’t
care if you go fishing every Mmday.”
Johnny took the money, but we don’t know
whether he told his mother about the kiss or
not; but as everything i3 quiet in the family
we don’t believe the lady knows anything
about it.
The new antiseptic mode is being tried at
the Alexian Brothers’ Hospital in Chicago,
with astonishing results. While a limb is lie
ing amputated a spray atomizer throws a
stream of a solution of carbolic acid iuto the
wound, and this makes the operation peril ctly
painless. No chloroform or ether i- required,
and it i- said the wound heals vary rapidly.
“Fifty thousand dollais to the lawyer and
two thousand rive hundred dollars to the
widow,” is the way they divide estates in New
York city, according the Clraphic.
PUBLISHERS AND PROPRIETORS
Prospects o! the Restoration of
Our Long-Lost Properly.
Tlu> London correspondent of the New York
World writes on the commercial relations ex
isting between this country and Europe, and
says: “ This year, I understood, you have had
a very tine harvest. I can only say it will be
wanted in Europe. Russia has not grown
much more grain than she wants, and the yield
here will be comparatively small. Europe
must go across the Atlantic for what she ueeds
to make up her deficit supply of food. And
then recollect that it is not for grain only that
England now comes with money in her hand
to the United States ports. Ihe sale of Ameri
can beef is simply enormous, considering that
when 1 left New \ ork in 1876 the trade-was
almost, if not quite, unknown. And now we
pay something like $->0,000,000 a yea* for
American beef, and the business is constantly'
increasing. So that for the “ stall of life,” anil
a large proportion of the meat consumed, this
country must depend very greatly on.-- the
Lu>lcd States, lhese arc facts—-ibsaw
them what conclusion you will one'
conclusion which I should be draw,
namely: that this state of affairs must inevit
ably restore your long lost
an ill wind that blows no one anvgAfid. Fer
eign capital must necessarily pour into the
country, making up in a large measure for the
losses of the hist few years, and infusing new
life and energy into all departments of trade
This is as certain as that the sun will rise to
morrow. The recovery of trade ia America
does not now depend upon accidental or arti
ficial causes, but is being produced by fixed
laws—for there are such things in connection
with the commercial as well as the physical
world, although tiiey are not by any means
what the political economists suppose them to
be.
<*ool Whitewash. r -C'
W hen oil paint cannot be afforded for fences
ami out-houses, a good-whitewash will Jook
"ell and durable. The_following wash ia ex
cellent :
Take u clean barrel that will hold water,
i ut into it half a bushel of quick-lipacy and
slack it by pouring over it boiling water suffi
cient to cover it four or live inches deep, and
storing it until slaked. When quite slaked,
dissolve it in water, and add two pounds of
sulphate of zinc, which may be hud at any of
the druggists, and one of common salt, which
in a lew days cause the whitewash to harden
on the woodwork. Add sufficient water to
biiiig it to the consistency of thick whitewash.
lo make the above wash of a pleasant
cream color, add three pounds of yellow ochre.
J-or fawn color four pounds of umber, one
pound Indian red. otic pound lampblack.
I‘or gray or stone color, add four pounds
timber and two lampblack.
1 lie color may he put on with a common
whitewash brush ami it will he found much
more durable than common whitewash.
Somethin;; About Wcihling*.
Frank Leslie's Lady’s Journal tell< about
weddings thus: At the end of the first year
comes the cotton wedding; at two years comes
the paper; at three the leather; at the close
of lice comes the wooden; at the seventh an
niversary the friends assemble at the woolen,
ami at ten conus the tin At twelve years
the silk and fine linen; at fifteen the crystal
wedding At twenty the friends gather witli
their china, and at twenty five the married
couple that have been true to their vows for a
quarter of a century are rewarded with silver
gifts. From this time forward the tokens of
esteem become rapidly more valuable When
the thirtieth anniversary is reached they are
presented with pearls; at the fortieth comes
the rubies ; and at the fiftieth occurs the glo
rious golden wedding. Beyond that lime the
aged couple are allowed to enjoy their many
gifts in peace. If, however,by any possibility
tliej’ should reach their seventy-fifth anniver
sary, they ale presented with the rarest gifts
to lie obtained, at the celebration of their dia
mond wedding.
A young girl discovered her young brother
out behind the shed the other day pulling
away at a cigarette. “ There, young man!"
she exclaimed, as the cigarette hastily disap
peared liehind the boy’s back; “ I’ll tell your
father on you—see if I don’t” “Yes, tell
him," retorted the brother, suddenly recover
ing himself; “you tell ’ini, an’ see how quick
that fellow o’ yourn ’ll ship. I'll tell father
how you an’ ’in was sittin’ on the parlor
sofa, an’ him a hoggin’ you. You just go an’
tell, that’s all I ask.” The sister very dis
creetly withdrew, while the young statesman
finished his smoke in tranquility.
All meat-producing animals should !e killed
when they are in the coolest state, or when
respiration Is the least active. Their flesh will
then keep much longer fresh, and he more
beautiful, sweet and healthful When killed
in a heated condition, or immcdialelv after a
hard drive, the flesh will take longer to cool
through, spoil soouer, while the flush and fat
will have a dark, feverish look, caused by be
ing full of blood, and hence will not be so
inviting iti appearance or so healthy as food.
“ I cllow citizens ” said a stump orator, “ we
have the best country in the wend, and the
best Government. No persons on the face of
the glolx: enjoy more privileges than we do.
Here we have the liberty ~f speech and lib
erty ot press, without onerous despotism
\V hat, fellow ctlizen.->, is more desirable than
that? Do you want anything more, my coun
trymen ? ’ “ \ es. sir ee,” said one of his liear
.ers, “ L want a suck out of that flask sticking
out of your coat-pocket behiud.”
If you are lull of affection and pretense
your voice proclaims it- If you are full of
honest strength and purpose t our voice pro
claims it. If you are cold aiul calm and firm
and persistent, or fickle and foolish and decep
tive, your voice will be equally truth telling.
You eatt not change vour voice from a natu
ral to an unnatural tone without its being
known that you are so doing
\\ hen a man -thinks that nohodv Ciires for
him, and that lie 1- alone in a cold and b.ilisli
world, he would do well to ask himself this
question: “What have I done to make any
body care for and love me, and to warm the
world with faith and gentrositv ?” It is gen
erally the case that those who complain the
most Lave done the least
The root oi the horse-radish will give in
stant lelief to hoarseness.
NO. 32