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f* IF NO WERE YES.
If No were Yes, and Yes were No,
The world would topsy-turvy go,
A veto then would be "tit.
Defeat would join hands with Content,
And war would moan arbitrament,
if No were Y« Utd Yes were No.
i If No were Yes, and Yes were No,
The timid would the bolder grow,
A blush of shame would bring delight
r And harsh rebuffs would gain the fight,
The blackest night would then be ligbt,
If No were Y and Ye» were No
If No were Yea, and Ye* were No,
The poor would hai *t weal from wo
! For Plenty, with a sullen face,
M ould seek them out in every place,
1 And ugliness would then be grace,
If No were Yi and Yes were No.
If No were Yes, an I Yes wore No.
'I he weak were strong, tho high wera low,
Brim disappointment would bo bliss,
Who won would lose, who hit would
, miss,
A frown would thus presage a kiss,
If No were Ye and Yes were No.
If No were Ye*, and Yes were No,
Thy acorn would be my dearest foe.
Thy coquetries, which now I fear,
Would bring thy day of conquest near,
For through thy wiles I'd win thoe,dear,
If No were Yes, an l Yes were No.
—.Veto York Timm.
MRS. RAYNE’S MONEY
“There’s very, very lityle worth living
for,” sa d Margaret Lee, lfoking discon¬
solately down the street, ns she set out
from lur mother’s house for her daily
work.
“That hot, humdrum store; those
people, always the same—looking out
for themselves, never caring how much
trouble they give or how torturing they
are with their whims I always ex¬
pected to earn my own living, but I
didn’t expect to earn it this way. I’m
tned of it; I’m tired of everything!”
“You were pretty nearly late this
morning,” said Janet Hen dell, the girl
who stood at the section in the great store
next to M rgarct’s. Janet aud Margaret
were fast friends, and‘were talkiag to¬
gether in a moment’s lull.
“Yes, it was so delightful outside,
and so close and stully in here!” said
Margaret, with a half groan.
“I saw Mr. Ives look rather sharply at
you as you took your place.”
“Oh, I dare say,” -said Margaret.
“Let him look?”
“But you might loose your situation.
You wouldn’t like that.”
“Well,I don’t know that I should care
much. It’s one form of slavery here.
The worst that could happen would be
an exchange for another.”
“There comes your terror,” said
Janet, gliding back to her own place.
The “terror” was a lady who had of
late much frequented her counter, look¬
ing over her laces, giving a good deal of
trouble, and seldom making a-purchase.
The saleswomen were allowed a small
percentage upon sales—a fact which
rendered such customers a severe trial to
their patience.
“I wish to match these pieces,” said
the lady, showing some samples.
Box after box was rausasked, and
after an hour’s search, two of the samples
were matched.
“I am quite sure we haven’t anything
nearer than this,” said Margaret, refer¬
ring to the third. “See; it is so nearly
like it that the difference could scarcely
be seen.”
“We have not looked in those luxes,”
said the lady, glancing toward a fow on
a high shelf.
“Those are of an eutirelv different
style, madam.”
But the lady insisted, and Margaret
opened the boxes, one by one, for hei
leisurely inspection. of
► Impatient customers, tired waiting,
went away. From time to time 3Iarga
rct caught sympathizing glances from
Janet, but these were not all. She knew
she was being keenly observed by Helen
Whiter, a girl who stood near heron the
other side. Helen had a cousin for
whom she wished to obtain a situation in
the store, and Margaret know well that
information of any failure in patience on
her part would promptly find its way to
her employers.
Margaret showed no signs of annoy
ance.
“It seems to me you keep a very poor
assortment,” said the lady, at last, turn¬
ing away.
Next came a party of customers, who,
it might be hoped, would be less hard to
please—a bevy of laughing high school
girls, who, satchels iu hand, had come
in to take a peep at finery for the ap¬
proaching graduation exercises.
They looked at. laces, ruching and
fans, with long discussion over every
article, ending in most c:vses with a de¬
cision to refer the matter to mother or
sister. They were not very profitable
customers, but it was pleasant to serve
them.
As the so#id of their merry voices
died away, a feeling of longing for the
good things which were a part of their
happy, prosperous lives took possession
of Margaret. Bhe had looked forward
to these things once, before the cruel
fortune came which had bound her to this
tiresome counter, Again the burden
pressed heavily on her heart.
As one of the relays of clerks was in
the lunch room, Mr. Ives, the superin¬
tendent, eutered.
“He has his speech making face on,”
whispered Janet to Margaret.
“And he’s turning his attention to¬
ward us,” said Margaret.
“Young ladies,” said Mr. Ives, pr 0
sently, “I am sorry to be obliged to in¬
form you that a customer has lost some
money iu the store. Mrs. Rayne
visited several of the counters this morn¬
ing—”
“Oh yes, she did !’’ came in an under¬
toned groan from one or two victims.
“And has reported at the office the
loss of a hundred dollar bill.”
There was a small sensation, while
many eyes turned upon Margaret.
“Those of you with whom Mrs. Rayne
dealt will please make very careful search
for the money among your goods.”
“Too bad!” exclaimed Janet, as the
man left the room. “That bothering
woman kept you fooling over her trashy
bits all the morning, Margaret, aud now
you’ll have to spend the best part of the
ufternoon looking for her bill. And after
all, she has probably lost it somewhere
’jlse, or not lost it at all.”
“Yes,” said Margaret, “I shall have
to go to the bottom of every box, and
shake out every piece in the stock, fot
she wouldn't be satisfied until I hud
shown her the very last inch this moru
ing. But I do hope some ol us will find
it.”
THE MONROE ADVERTISE?. FORSYTH, GA., TUESDAY", MARCH 31. ] 891 .---EIGHT RAGES.
Margaret used every chance moment
of leisure to search for the missing bill,
A heavy shower brought a check upon
the rush into the great store, and with
]>alient hands and keen eyes she turned
iver her laces.
At closing-time the girls gathered in
little knots, discussing with anxioii
looks, the affair of the lost note Mar
garet said little, but listened to the
others with a face which showed that the
graver concern had for the time shut out
all minor worries.
•It s a shame, I declare, ..... said Janet,
taking Margaret » hand in her own, “for
the,* rich people to come and make trou
ble tor us poor girls about their money '
“When they've so much of it that they
don t know how to take care of it!”
chimed in another.
I 4 If I were so careless as to lose it, I
should want to keep still about it.”
Mr. Ives came about with a sober, in
quiring look as the tired girls busied
themselves in putting things in order
after the day’s work. *
Margaret began to pack the choicest
of her laces, to be stored in the vault in
which the most valuable articles were
put away at night, her eyes stiil keeping
up their search, although she had given
up all hope ol finding the bill.
The safe was at the back part of the
store, and she made several journeys to
it before the things under her care were
all put away.
“What’s that?”
Just as she was stepping out, after de¬
positing her last armful, something on
the floor caught her eye, so vaguely in
the gathering shadows that she was not
sure that it was more than a passing
fancy. Yet how could she be mistaken
in that dim flash of dingy green?
With a heart beating in sudden hope,
she quickly ran back into the vault, and
with a little cry of joy snatched up some¬
thing, aud again turned toward the mas¬
sive door.
Creak—bang! Just as she reached it,
it closed in her face. Without dreaming
what this might mean, she pushed on
the door with her hand, calling out: “I
am here! Opeu, please!”
But another creaking sound had min¬
gled itself with her words. Mr. Ives,
who had seen her corno out, had then
turned his head to speak to some one
else, failed to see her rush in again,
and had turned the knob which set the
combination.
Janet Itaudall sprang quickly toward
him.
“Margaret Lee is in the vault!” she
said, excitedly.
“No; I saw Miss Lee come out before
I closed it.”
“She ran back. Hear her! Open it
at once, please!”
“But I cannot. The combination is
set, and I do not know it,” he said, gaz¬
ing at Janet in growing uneasiness.
“Where is Mrs. Adams?” cried Janet
to the girls who were gathering near.
“She hasn’t gone home, has she? Bring
her—quick! Margaret' is shut up in the
safe!”
A chorus of dismay rosft, while a num¬
ber of the girls hurried to seek Mrs.
Adams, who was the only employe who
knew the combination.
“Margaret!” cried Janet) going close
to the door.
“Yes, Janet, here I am!”
“O Margaret, you’re not frightened,
are you'?”
“No,” Margaret replied; “but why
don’t, they open the door?”
“They will, in a minute. You see,
the combination’s sprung, and they're
bringing Mrs. Adams to open it. ”
“I hope she’ll hurry.”
“She’s coming now. We’ll have you
out at once.
Mrs. Adams, intercepted just as she
was going out, was brought back in hot
haste. She uttered a littlh scream when
she was told what was the matter.
“Why, 1 can't remember the combina¬
tion! Where's Mr. Barrow? Where’s
-Mr. Price?” •* *
Quietly and firmly equal to the every¬
day demands upon her, Mrs. Adaui 3
failed completely in the moment of this
emergency. With another cry of dis¬
tress, she sank down in a hysterical con¬
dition.
“Why, the girl will smother—she will
die in there!” she exclaimed.
“Where is Mr. Price?” Jauet asked,
iu desperation.
“Mr. Price has gone to a lawn festi¬
val over in Elm Park,” said Mr. Ives.
“Telephone to him, and tell him it is
life or death whether lie gets heie im¬
mediately.”
“Margaret!” agaiu called Janet.
“Yes?”
“Have patience a little longer, dear.
There is a delay in opening, but every¬
thing Is being done to get you out.
Courage, Margaret! Speak to me!”
“Jauet,” Margaret called, “tell Mr.
Ives—”
“Yes, here I am.”
“I—I—I've found—’’
The voice seemed to die away.
“Go ou, Margaret,” screamed Janet.
But no answer came, save an occasional
gusping murmur, and Jauet crouched
upon the floor in speechless agony.
There seemed no hope. Mrs. Adams
was more hysterical than ever, aud could
recall nothing of the combination. The
telephone rang, but Mr. Price could uot
be reached.
After the closing of the door, Marga
ret had turned and glanced about her,
half-expecting to see some rays of light.
But the absolute blackuess frightened
and oppressed her.
“How dark!” she said. “I never
really knew before what real darkness
is.”
She heard Janet's call faintly through
the thick door, aud after exchanging the
first few words with her, waited with
such patience as she could summon.
The confusion of excited voices out
side very soon conveyed to her a thought
that her danger of suffocation might be
greater than she had iu the first few
moments imagined.
A slow terror crept to her heart, as
the sounds seemed to take on increased
agitation, and one or two screams reached
her strained ears. Her heart-beats came
slower, and her breath already seemed
difficult to draw.
Janet called again, and each one of
her reassuring words seemed to tell anew
of the fate which might be closing about
ber \
She guessed too well what ^ the delay . .
must mean. She knew that Mr. Barrow,
the senior partner, was out of town; that
his junior lived in the suburbs and could
not be reached before—what?
With strong shuddering# she strove to
draw a free breath, but already the sui
locating air seemed to refuse any relief
to her g&sping lungs. In a paroxysm o*
cespair she flung herself upon the floor
Life! life, life! How precious and
beautiful a tog It w»! How sweet
j had been the light of the sun and thf
freshness of the air! The modest horns
with which she had been discontented,
the routine of work which had wearied
her—how" their details seemed to stand
out in vivid brightness! How delight
j ful would be the hum of the busy store,
ho v kindly the mast unsynrpathizing
face in it would seem to smile upon
i her!
And her mother! With-a cry of an
I gnish, Margaret sprang up, and tried
in vain to call* out. She scarcely
1 heard the sounds without, though
she had a dim sense that Janet was call-*
ing her. However, with the thought of
f home came a determination not to give
up while there might be hope. She re
membered having heard that bad air
sinks to the floor, and again forced her
j self upon her feet,
j Bat her limbs tottered,aud with trem
j biing hands she felt for a small step-lad
der which she knew was in the vault.
She brought it close to the door, and so
j leaned upon it that if her senses failed it
would keep her from falling.
! In doing this,she noticed that she still
1 held in her hand the bill whi€h she had
found. She crumpled the bit of paper
in fierce anger. Had she, indeed, given
her life for it?
Then a fearful thought came; when
those without should at last reach her r
might there not be some who would be¬
lieve she had concealed the money with
the intention of keeping it?
The dreadful suggestion spurred hei
to one last effort. If she could tell them
how she had found it, no one could
think that she had stolen it—
But an iron hand seemed closing upoD
her throat as she agaiu strove to speak.
Iler voice sounded to herself hollow and
indistinct, as with her last conscious
breath, she tried to send it through the
iron door.
Two minutes later Mr. Barrow, who
was supposed to be at his summer cot¬
tage atnpng the rhouutains, entered the
store, and looked in surprise upon the
scene of confusion.
“The combination. Open the vault,
quick!”
Mr. Ives had gone to find experts tc
force open the vault, but through the
clamor of joy and fear the girls soon
contrived to let Mr. Barrow know what
was wanted.
He knew the combination, aud at a
few turns of his hand the heavy door
swung open, and Margaret fell forward
into the arms waiting to receive her.
In less than half an hour she opened
her eyes to gaze into the kindly ones
which smiled and cried over her.
“I received a telegram calling mo
back on important buriness,” Mr. Bar
row explained. “I did not guess how
important it might prove to be.”
“It must have beeu sent straight from
Providence,” whispered Janet.
Margaret was taken home in a car¬
riage by Jauet and Helen Winter. As
the-carriage was about to drive away,
Janet held out to Mr. Ives the liundred
dollar bill, which she had taken from
Margaret’s hand.
“Xo,” he said; “let her return it to
its owner.” •
Mrs. Rayn* came to see her, and
cried and laughed as Margaret told how
the bill was found.
“You poor dear child! To think
what a result my carelessness might have
had! It caught on some of your laces,
] aud then dropped into the vault. Now
| I shall positively never take it back. I’m
sure you earned it, going into that
dreadful place foi it.”
Margaret's face whitened at the thought
of accepting the money.
“I shall feel that you have not for¬
given me if you refuse to keep it,” said
Mrs. Rayne. “Put it in the bank for a
nest-egg. I think you will have more io
add to it, for I have told Mr. Barrow
that, of all the saleswomen I have ever
met, you arc the most patient, atten¬
tive and ladylike. I fancy he knows
when he has an employe worth paying
well.”
“I think I found something more than
the money,” said Margaret.— Youth's
Companion.
How Tea is Carried in Tibet.
The packages of tea, each about four
feet long, six iuches broad aud three or
four thick, ana weighing from seventeen
to twenty-three pounds, are placed hori¬
zontally one above the other, the upper
ones projecting j^ead. so as to come over the
porter’s They are held tightly to¬
gether by coir ropes and little bamboo
stakes; straps, also of plaited coir ropes,
pass over the porter’s shoulders, while a
little string fastened to the top of the
load helps to balance the huge structure,
which it requires more knack than
strength to carry, for its weight must
bear on all the back and only slightly on
the shoulders. In their hands the por¬
ters carry a short crutch which they
place under the load when they wish to
re.si. without lemoning it from tneir
backs. The average load is nine pack
ages, or from 190 to 200 pounds, but I
passed a number of men carrying sevea
teen packages, aud one had twenty-one.
A man, I was told, had a few years ago
brought an iron safe weighing 400
pounds for Mgr. Biet from Ya-chou to
Ta-chien-lu iu twenty-two days. Old
or deereipt people commonly travel
along this road borne oil the backs of
porters. Many of the women poiters
carried seven packages of tea, nearly
200 pounds, aud children of five and six
trudged on behind their parents with
one or two. The price paid for the
work is twenty tael cents (about twenty
five cents) a package, and it takes about
seventeen days to make a trip from Ya
chou. So lar as my knowledge goes
there are no porters iu any other part ol
the world who carry such weights as
these Ya-chou tea-coolies; and strange
as it may appear, they are not very mus
cular, and over half of them are con
firmed opium smokers.— Century.
The Despair of Astronomers.
The statement is made that the fortv
inch telescope will miles* bria~ The moon
within one hundred of the earth.
Whi!e not entirely accurate, such a com
pftrisoa w jH serve"to show how little will
k e disclosed of all that we want to know
most a ‘ Vj 0ut ^ surface of the moon,
^. ora t he summit of a high mountain
other mount ains at a distance of one
hundred miles may be seen on clear days;
but tbey appear only as clouds. Details
caanot V made out. A forest seems a
Liere tch of co i or; tixe largest buildings are
spects when viewed from such a
distance. And as for the surface of our
neighbors, Venus and Mars, the case
WO uld, of course, be more hopeless still.
_ tkin Fra nci*eo Examiner.
---——--—
An acre of bananas will support
twenty-five times as manv persons as an
'
acre of wheut.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Merely a Bacillus—His Hope—Truth
ful Deception—A ForbiddingChAr
acter—A Wonld-be Plausible
Explanation. Etc., Etc.
’
G f all the deadly things that war
t Against our paace and kill us.
The worst and deadliest by far—
^i I
i n Michigan, who have made the matter
a study and found out by experimenting
Withppiinep pigs and other anythmg cheap ani
Is “pt*warts^nd^tarrh-' ex *
merely a bacillus. y
—Chicago Tribune.
HIS HOPE - J
Lady—“Can’t you find some work to
do, poor man?”
j Tramp—“I hope not, mem.”— Wash
ington Star.
A CHANGE OF PLAN.
Inquirer—“Have you shot your oil
well at Boontown yet?”
Citizen—“No; but we’ve hanged the
man that induced us to bore it.”—
Munsey's Weekly.
SUPPLYING HIM WITH BRAIN WORK.
“Why don’t you stop asking Max to
your reception? He never comes.”
“I know that, but I do it for the fun
of seeing what new excuse he will in¬
vent .”—Fliegende Blaetter.
A FORBIDDING CHARACTER. .
“I don’t like the ossified man,” con¬
fided the fat woman in the museum to
the living skeleton.
“Nor I,” replied His Bonelets; “I
can’t abide him. He never unbends.”—
Puck.
THEN HE WENT.
He (at 11:50)—“But you are not im¬
puting to me the wrongmotives?”
She (yawning)—“I think not. In¬
deed, I should hardly thiuk of accusing
you of motive power of any kind .”—New
York Herald.
TRUTHFUL DECEPTION.
“Why you poor malarial mortal, you!
I thought you told me your average
health was good?”
“So I did. I run to chills one day
and fever the next. The average is nor¬
mal. ”— Munsey's Weekly.
TWO FEET SUFFICIENT.
Wife—“It’s kind of you to put on my
rubbers for me.”
Kneeling Husband (tugging away)—
“It is a—a—pleasure, my dear. Still, I
am glad that you are no centipede.”—
Kate Field’s Washington.
NOT VISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE.
Cleverton—“I hope you won’t think
an old friend impertinent, but about how
much is your income?”
Dashaway—“Well, to tell the truth,
old man, I live so far beyond it that it’s
way out of sight.”— Life.
THE NEW BO Sib
Shattuck (proudly)—“Well, my wife
is not the master in my house.”
Ransom (incredulously) 1 *- 1 ^!!, of
course, not!” *
Shattuck—“No, indeed! we have a
two-year-old baby .”—Indianapolis Jour¬
nal.
mart’s CAJ.LER. •
“Mary, did any one call while I was
out?”
“Yes; Mr. Snooks.”
“Snooks—Snooks? Mon’t know any¬
body of that name.”
“Probably not, mum; he called to see
me. ”— Judge. ,
MORE THAN POSSIBLE.
“Mv son,” said the irate parent, “lam
surprised, mortified and amazed to find
that you stand at the foot of your class.
I can hardly believe it possible.”
“Why, father,” replied the son, “it is
the easiest thing in the world.”— Mun
tey’s Weekly.
doesn’t exhibit bravado.
She—“I know he isn’t a pedigreed
dog, but no tramp or beggar can come
near the house without his letting us
know.”
He—“What does he do? Bark?”
She—“No; he crawls under the sofa.”
Boston Transcript.
A WOULD-BE PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION.
Kate—“Why, Maud, how you have |
changed! When I saw you three years i
ago your hair was auburn, and now it is * J
as 5laad—“Yes, yellow as gold. So pretty!”
Katie; you know last
year I was ill for a long time with the
"jaundice.”_ Judge. j_ \ |
facilities of modern architecture. 1
“I thought you were going to have a |
cupola have".” on your’house.”
“I
“Where is it?”
“In the cellar. It looked so badly on
the roof I took it off and make coal bin
of it.”— Harper's Bazar.
GAVE THE RUSE AWAY.
Chappie “Is-Miss Maud in;
Bridget “Naw, sorr.
Chappie-—“M ell, 111 leave my card so
' aa know who has called,
>v * gst—“ A aith yez naden t. She
saw yez through the winay^when yez
‘won comm up the steps. bazar.
UNFORTUNATE.
“You’ve broken that lecture item off
nicely,” said the editor to the foreman. .
“5°^ ‘You ve *° cut V ' off all the names of , those ^ !
PJ ‘Scattered eseT3t Jut through two, the and hall made were me J. Bron- say: j
5011 -“““ereand Mrs. Smithers. —Puck.
■ “
doesn’t miss his mind.
“What a curious fellow Dreemer is?
Wherever you meet him, his mind seems
to be thousands of miles away.”
“I know it; but, then, it doesn’t mat
ter. He gets along just as well as
though he had his mind with him; bet
ter,’s far ’s I know.”-*** Tran
script.
- j
easily suited. 1
He (ardently)—“I love you truly, Miss
Prettlgyrl, more than words can tell,
> I: , y i hope that mvlove is returned?”
she_“I can’t_”
perhaps f ou dbu’tj
like me as well as I like you. You see T
am more easily suited than you are."—
Tan lft Blade.
SOUND ADVICE.
Daisy Flutters—“Ob, *to Maisy, I don't
know what do. Old Mr. Dodder
ing and Jack Margin have both pro¬
posed, and-”
Maisy Marigold—“Take Doddering,
He's already rich and already old. Jack
is not sure of getting rich, but he is sure
of getting old.”— Puck.
A nASTY MARRIAGE.
, ‘You say, auntie, you married in
haste.”
“Yes, dear. My folios all advised me
against the marriage, but alas! 1 didn’t
heed them.”
“How old were you at that time,
auntie?”
“Only fprty-four.”— Yankee Blade.
FEMININE INTUITION.
Mr. De Blank (10 p. m.) —“If you
don't want Clara to see that thing you
are making for her, you'd better put it
out of sight, for she’ll be up pretty
soon . I hear her in the front hall.”
Mrs. De Blank—“She won’t be up for
an hour at least, She’s bidding good¬
night to Mr. Xicefello .”—New Tori
Weekly.
BOUND TO JOIN THE FAMILY.
Jack Smallcash (to rich widow’s
daughter)—“Dearest Emily, will you be
my wife?”
Emily Rockebilt— “Oh, Mr. Small
cash! This is so very unexpected! I
think—I think—perhaps you had better
ask mamma.”
Jack Smallcash—“I have already, my
love; but she refused ms.”— Pack.
FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT.
Old Patron (at the restaurant)—“Look
here, Anna! Y'ou are i paying no atten¬
tion whatever to me. have beeu wait¬
ing three-quarters of an hour without
anybody serving me.”
Waitress—“Well, sir, you are an old
patron of the place, and have so many
reminiscences of good dishes that I
ought to serve the strangers first.”—
Fliegende Blaetter. •
UNINTENTIONAL OVERSIGHT.
Magistrate (to prisoner)—‘‘You arc
found guilty of meeting the plaintiff in
a lonely street, knocking him down and
robbing him of everything except a valu¬
able gold watch which he had with him.
What have you to say?”
Prisoner—“Had he a gold watch with
him at the time?”
Magistrate—“Certainly.”
Prisoner—“Then I put in a plea of
insanity .”—La Gaulois.
PLAYED IN BAD LUCK.
“I am not a superstitious man,” said
Jangles, “not by auy meaus, but there’s
no use in anybody’s telling me that it
ain’t bad luck to break a looking glass.”
“Why, have you had any experience?”
“Yes; I broke a looking glass day be¬
fore yesterday. The hired girl left as
soon as she found it out, my mother in¬
law had the hysterics and my wife is
sick in bed from overwork and excite¬
ment.”— Washington Post.
WHAT AILED HIM.
‘Is he bad liurted yer honor?”
sobbed the wife as the doctor emerged
from the room.
“Madam, I am afraid his injuries are
fatal. His internal organ? are crushed
together, - his ribs • fractured and his
whole body compressed into half its
natural space. What terrible weight
fell upon him—or was he caught between
the cars?”
“Sure, doctor, there wasn’t nothin’
fell on ’im. He jusht put on wan of
them unshrinkable shirts and then got
caught in the rain.”— Light.
A GREAT FINANCIER.
Mabel—“Well, I’ve concluded to
marry Mr. Tightfist.
Mildred—“Why, I thought you hated
him.”
Mabel—“Oh, I do, but he is bound to
be very rich some day. He has such a
grasp of finance.”
Mildred—“What gives you that im¬
pression.”
Mabel—“Why he invited me to go to
church last night, and coming home we
took a car, though he wanted to walk
both ways. Well, when the conductor
came around he said: ‘How unfortunate!
I find I have nothing smaller than a dol¬
lar bill. Have you any change?’ So I
paid the fares .”—Boston Courier.
The Japs as Imitator?.
“When I was inTokio,” said a Chi
ca p 0:in who recently returned from a
t^P to Japan, “I was much impressed by
the imitative art of the Japanese, through
a discovery I accidentally made. I was
w-alking through one of the streets and
ant * not i ce( l a shop window several
cans of Armour’s canned beef. There
was n °thing so very, strange in that, but
on making inquiries I learned that that
particular beef had been put up in Japan.
That’s where the imitation came in.
Some years ago Armour’s product found
its way out there, and after using it a
while, the Japanese thought they could
can beef also. And so they did. Ar
mQur'sbeef pack has been imitated down
even to the label, to such a degree that
it is difficult to detect the difference. I
heard of another instance. Several years
ago a certain glass product made in Ger
many was sold extensively in Japan,
Through Government officials an in
nocent request was made to the Ger
man manufacturers to allow three cr j
four Japanese workmen in their factory, j
The request was granted. The artisans j
day spent Japan a year is or selling two in Germany, and to- J 1
the very same ar
tide to the Germans at much less cost j
f han can produce it. Those oblig- j
ing Germans have had their business j
ruined, and their factories have long
since stopped running.”— St. Louis Star -
Mayings.
n " _
Bone Grafting.
« !Bone grafting,” said Dr. Goldth
waite, the physician of the Fifth Avenue
Hotel, alluding to the recent experiment !
at Bellevue Hospital, “is not new. II ;
was tried 150 vkrs ago, but it has neve,
successful, andT do not think it !
ever will be. I have not seen the report
i n tbe Medical Journal of the Bellevue !
case, but it is given ont that it is a fail
ure. Bone grafting conditions is practicallv im
possible. The are too diffi
cult and unfavorable. There is no
record of a case of bone grafting ever be
in &£' 1 * successfully performed ”_ Yew York
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Love is always doing, and never stop#
to rest.
Xo man becomes dizzy while he is
looking up.
Xo man can live right who does not
believe right.
The man who has no joy in giving has
no joy in anything.
Xo man has a right to throw his trou¬
bles at other people.
Xo man can be a hypocrite and suc¬
,
ceed at anything else.
Every form that comes and stays be¬
gins in the individual.
A ou can get some men to go anywhere
by*daring them to go.
People who succeed generally aim to
do it, and plan to do it.
“Elbow grease” will “gum” like any
other lubricator, unless it is used.
Xo woman but his own wife ever finds
out how disagreeable a man can be.
One of the hardest things to do is to
alarm the man who thinks he is safe.
There is nothing good in the man who
does not desire to bo thought well of.
If every dog who barks would bite,
the world would soon be full of sore
legs.
If you care anythihg for a man’s friend¬
ship, it is dangerous business to lend him
money.
One of the duties every man owes to
himself, is to live so that he can respect
himself.
It ought not to take any more cour¬
age to dare to do right than to dare to
do wrong.
It is seldom that a man ever gets to be
wise enough to know what to do with a
large fortune.
The man who expects to out-run a lie
had better start with something faster
than a bycicle.
Au easy chair for a discontented man
is something that can not be found at a
furniture store.
If some people would always think
twice before they speak, they would keep
still a good deal.
If ;£l people would learn to behave
themselves, what a famine there would
be among the lawyers.
As a rule wome«*have poor memories,
but they never forget the people who say
nice things about their bonnets.
Whenever you hear a man condemning
other people, you can mark it down that
he is trying to cover up rubbish in his
own dooryard.
When your heart is so heavy that you
can’t laugh yourself, the next best thiDg
is to do something that will make some
body else laugh with joy. Try it.
The sun tells the truth about a man
when it takes his picture, but the photog*
rapher has to do a good deal of lying
with his retouching pencil before he can
sell it to him.
The Preservation of Meat.
Thfe preservation of meat has come to
be au important industry, to which new
methods are constantly being applied.
Nearly all the newer methods of prepar¬
ing preserved meats have, however, been
discarded for the older methods of boil¬
ing, drying, salting and smoking, which
together with freezing preserve the taste
and digestibility of meats better than any
of the more recent chemical modes. It
is found, as the result of experiments on
a large number of food materials, such
as ham, pork, bacon, various kinds of
sausages and fish, that most meats are
salted not only to preserve the taste, but
also to withdraw a large proportion of
the water from the flesh; that smoking
has very much the same effect; that it
hides the salty taste, and being able to
penetrate dried flesh its anti-putrcfactive
action is rendered more efficient. One
advantage of smoke is that it acts not
the
generated producing this effect, but also
by the action of small quantities of the
anti fermentative constituents, such as
creosote, carbolic acid, even volatile oils,
which appear to have a direct influence
on the vitality of putrefactive organisms.
Baited lean meat exposed to the action
of smoke at from twenty to twenty-five
degrees C. for forty-eight hours no longet
contained liquefying organisms, which
had been present in considerable num¬
bers before the smoking, but non-lique¬
fying organisms disappeared only on the
ninth day of smoking. Bacon salted for
ten days and then exposed to the action
of smoke for forty-eight hours also
showed no liquefying organisms. Bacon
salted for five weeks contained no organ¬
isms after seven days’ smoking. Fish
may be preserved for a short time by
smoking only, but it could not be kept
permanently. Ham and larger sausages
require a longer period of smoking than
do smaller articles of diet.— Chicago
News.
Confederate Prisoners on Their Travels
We were to be sent to Johnson’s Is¬
land, writes Lieutenant Horace Carpen¬
ter in an article in the Century describ¬
ing his experiences in the war piison in
Lake Erie, near Sandusky, Ohio,
Our route lay over the Erie Railroad,
and we made the trip on parole. The
guards placed at each door of our coach
were for our comfort only, as we were
objects of marked curiosity during the
trip and would have been overrun with
visitors had not admittance been refused,
At the different stations wc mingled
freely with the people on the platform
and found them, with few exceptions,
courteous but inquisitive. We were, no
doubt, a disappointing lot. There was
nothing in our apparel to mark the
Rebel soldier, as we mingled with the
crowd surprise was freely expressed that
though we were not a 3 their fancy "painted us,
just what shape that fancy
took I never learned. The ladies,
as was the case both North and South,
were intensely patriotic, and read us se
vere and no doubt salutary lectures on
the evil of our ways, which were submis
finely and courteously received and duly
pondered.
" acre was one question _ that you could
safely wager would be asked by five out
and that “£°. you hoD ftlj
lhlDk you are r ^ . ht ‘ Thls conundrum
aS °® ered to “ e so of ^ a that where
tlaie aUowed » bem 3 m . President Lm
join . country, I answered President
s in
Lincoi J 3 s '-7, le tnat lfc rB *
^ them of the , con
pl who took thur budal trip on an
h^oand womd W1 fJ return USU ? from sundry
SSwnSfl W f lh ® ves ? el . ar young ln
• ’ «’
^ ^ rC '~
w Leavens. Rebecca, do you
*“ k 1 »»
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.
SIDE mSH OF GIBLETS.
A nice side dish is made from the g:V
lets of fowls. Wash well and soak in warn
water for twenty minutes. Cut in thick
slices and fold each in a thin siiee
streaky bacon; tie or fasten with a small
skewer and stew forty minutes in sea
soned brown gravy with six small button
onions. Dish the rolls, lay the onions
around and strain the gravy, slightly
thickened, over all.— Washington Star.
CORN CROqUETTES,
These may be prepared at this season
of the year with canned corn, Proceed
as follows: Melt two tablespooufuls of
butter, stir well in half a tcacupful of
flour, cook a few moments over a slow
fire, ‘add a little milk and one yelk
of egg. This should form a good heavy
sauce. Half a can of corn may now be
put in and stirred well, Sweeten with
powdered sugar; cover the pan and allow
it to cook slowly for ten minutes; then
remove from the fire, and when cold
divide in small portions and sluipe with
a knife blade; dip in beaten egg and
milk, roll in bread crumbs and fry iu
plenty of hot lard .—New York Pr as.
ITALIAN SPAGHETTI AND LAMB.
The spaghetti, after having been boiled
only until tender in plenty of salted boil¬
ing water, is to be drained from the
boiling water and thrown into the cold,
to remain until the sauces are ready—
i.e., the tomato, white an Bechamel or
brown sauces, only a little of each being
used, sufficient to moisten the spaghetti;
not enough to make it sloppy; stir in
enough grated dry cheese to season it.
It may then be kept hot by setting the
saucepan containing it in a pan of hot
water until needed for tlu; table.
To cook the lamb first wipe the uncut
meat carefully with a wet cloth, ircoiug
it from bits of bone, sawdust, cte., put
it over the fire in enough boiling water
to cover it, with a little salt, a small ml
pepper pod, three whole cloves, u bay
leaf, auy bits of celery, parsley and sweet
herbs except sage available aud boil the
lamb very slowly until it is tender cuough
to allow the bones to be pulled out.
Strain the broth and use it to make
enough sauce to cover the lamb, thicken¬
ing it with the white roux and seasoning
it palatably with salt aud white pepucr;
the meat can be kept hot in the sauce by
placing the saucepan containing in a pan
of hot water .—Chicago News.
ONION PICKLE.
Select one gallon of sra&Ij sized silver
skin onions. They are hicest when just
grown to the size of a ’ll vy cherry. Peal
aud wash them nicely. *’ i vo quarts
of fresh milk and two quarts of water in
a granite kettle and male • it quite salt.
When it boils put in the onions, and boil
them until a straw will readily pierce
them. Drain through a ' colander, .pom
fresh water over them and drain again.
Select for them glass jars with glass tops.
It is not well to put pickle in jars that
have metal tops lined with porclain, for
the vinegar acts on the cement that holds
the porcelain in the top, and pickle and
top are both ruined.
Do not fill the jars quite full, as horse¬
radish, celery and mustard-seed have yet
to be put in. Fill one of the jars with
-vinegar to see how much will "be needed
for all. Measure it aud p.jt into a porce¬
lain kettle. Put into it four tablespoon¬
fuls of cracked allspice, tr v vo of cloves,
two of mace, one of ginger,, and one of
cinnamon, and let it boil abo\ut ten min¬
utes. Mix in a bowl one tablanoouful of
mustard, one of turmeric, four of sugar.
Stir to a smooth paste with cokjl vinegar,
and then stir it into the boiling vinegar
and remove it at once from thol lire. In¬
to each jar of pickle put one taLdespoon
ful of scraped horseradish, one of cel cry
seed and one of white mustard 1 ,seed.
Pour the vinegar into the jars bailing
hot, stirring it so that some of the -slpice
will be in each jar. Beal close and set, in
a cool, dark place.— Ladies' Home Copif
panion. \ .
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
For a slight cut, bind on it a piece off
common brown wrapping paper.
When acid of any kind gets on cloth 1 .
ing,use spirits of ammonia to neutralize? it
and then apply chloroform to restore tJio
color.
A tight shoe may sometime.s be ma^le
easy by laying a cloth in hot several watfeir
across where it pinches, changing
times. The leather will shape itself tcs
the foot. ;
Dry furnace heat, productive of threiat
and lung diseases, may be moistened By
hanging a wet towel in front of the rejA
ister, the lower edge of the towel beiu i
allowed to dip in a shallow vessel ci
water. l
A simple remedy for neuralgia is toj
a, plv grated horse raddish, prepared thef
same as for table use, to the templet
when the face or head is affected, or trif
the wrist when the pain is in the arm or
shoulder.
to In greasing than butter, tins, except lard is in much bejtier
use cases wqere
the dough is very delicately flavored anid
might taste of the former; the mixture is
much more likely to stick to the pan wirlh
butter than lard.
An excellent liniment for all kinds oi
so*es, sprains, etc., is made thus: Take
one quart of spirits of wine, two ounces
of laudanum, an ounce each of oil 9 f
amber, pennyroyal and spirits of harte
horn. Mix all together in a glass bottl' 6 .
Keep celery fresh by rolling it in
brown paper-sprinkled with water, then
in a damp cloth and put it iu a coc .,1
dark place. Before preparing it for the
table submerge it in cold water and let it
stand for an hour. It will be found very
crisp.
Coffee and teapots become discolored
on the interior in a very short time. To
prevent this about every two weeks—pat
into them a teaspoonful of soda and .ill
them two-thirds full of water: let hnl
two hours. Wash and rinse well before
using. In this way they will always be
sweet and clean,
Boiled icin ° „ caQ be th fouada ^ f ioa of
any £ortof fr gtinrr = ^ . chocokte ^ f ae
tabIes k fu] o{ dl 0 ( ]at e. , 0 .
tab'espoonful of grated co
if not stirred into the “S icinc* add* basiled ueflitte on
t
con f ect i one r’s L nink ’ sugar Ti-’ etc
In t„ view „- pw of of the t greatly augmented . , f‘ie
f J, rthe newuses [ oimd
‘ a “ conscqj„n _n
aaphthalm InXiin l as 1 f a suostitute P for !'° p °.f it d in tQ ariti- U . s . e
vplatilejeaves no. moie .permanent srnelL