Newspaper Page Text
8
IF.
If clayt oould be all morning,
Roae-tlnt and breezy blown.
Tie ron of noon just promised,
The mists of night just flown,
The dew on leaf and blossom
Our glad feet to beguile—
If days could be all morning.
Then living were worth while.
if erasom- w.-re all springtime*,
New blooms on the old,
Oreen blade uplifting green blade,
Gold sunbeams on the gold
Of ripened grain and orchard.
Nature’s unchanging smile—
I. seasons were all springtimes,
Then living were worth while.
If roads all trended down hill.
Beauty’s unconscious curve.
Just slanting as we trea 1 them,
And yet no direct swerve
To make us feel we lower
Ourselves each easy mile—
If roads all trended down hill,
Then living were worth while.
But morn means ab«ent darkness;
Down hill must have its up,
And seasons, if all springtimes,
Would drain ol d Earth’s wine cup,
Joy is twin of sorrow,
Tears lie behind each smile;
Life is a complete problem.
While solving is worth whilst
MY BOX FROM CHINA
BY THOMAS W. KNOX.
LONG residence in
New York has
f made me acquaint¬
ed with a goodly
number of the de¬
\Vi’ vious ways of this
wicked world. I
know the appear
ance ot the street
beggar m all his
guises, and have
often seen the man who wishes to bor
row a small amount of money to buy
food, or lodging, or a railway ticket,
and has lost or mislaid bis purse; he is
the son or other relativo of a friend of
mine, and has often heard my name
mentioned in terms of the hignest es
teem, i bavo met the individual of
polished manners who mistakes me for
Mr. Blank, of Hlankville, “one of our
leading merchants,” and after apologiz
iug for his error, wishes me to look at a
prize lie has just won in a lottery. I
have also been visited by a pretending !
namesake in search ot another namesake,
from whom the stlunger might borrow
the price of u ticket to Albany or Bos- i
ton. The list might be extended, but
the foregoing must suffice.
The stories that are poured into my
cars are always plausible, and I have
yielded to enough of them, aud found
afterward that they were utterly false,
to convince mo that *,’>0 heart of man is
dcceitlul above all things and desper
ately wicked. For a decade or so I
have considered mysolf familiar with,
and proof against, all the ways iu which
designing men seek to obtain money
ainder preteuses more or less false—
generally more. But quite recently I
encountered a new expert in this field of
enterprise, and am sure the reader will
share my opinion that his ingenuity de
serves tne uouor of publicity.
^ Hay. •»—aa vmi h
stranger presented a card on which was
written: “8. M. Crosby, first
steamship Glamorgan, Liverpool, Eng
land.” Wondering what his business
could be I consented to see bun and met
a medium-sized individual whose garb
indicated the mariner, as it included a
blue coat of “rceler” pattern and a blue
c,oth cap. He wus bronzed aud certainly
looked hue one who had spent much of
his lile on the water and had recently
been iu the tropics for a considerable
period. As soou as we met ho repeated
the declaration on his card, that he was
the first officer of the steamship Glamor
gan, which had recently arrived at Pmla
dclphia from Australian, Japanese and
Chinese ports.
“Have you auy advices,” said he, “of
a box trom China by our steamer?”
“I have not, I answered.
“Ihere is a box for you on board the
Glamorgan, he responded, “which was
taacn on at Shanghai or Hong Kong, I
am uot sure which. It contaius Chinese
and Japanese curios to the value of about
three huudred dollars. It is addressed
to you at New \ork City, but there is
no street or avenue named, only New
York. We have been inquiring, aud you
aro the ouiy tuan of the name to be found
in the city. Wo presume it is lor you,
as there is the word “author” upon the
box in addition to your name, and I'm
to.d that you are an author. We waut
to be quite sure ot your identity aud that
thc box is lor you, as it is a valuable
one-”
I replied that I was the only iudivi
dualin the city of exactly that name,
and my profession was that of author
ship, but I certainly knew of no box on
its way to me.
“It is strange that you have no ad
vices concerning it,” said Crosby, “but
after all it may not be so strange.
understand it is intended lor a present
aud perhaps the party who sent it
■wanted to surprise you. Quite likely
you will find a letter in the box that
will tell you who its from. There s no
freight to pay on it; it was put on
board by our own agent either in Hong
Kong or Shanghai lor some triends of
theirs. I he agents exulaiued that it w as a
present, and said they told the sender there
would be no cmarge for freight. It
came iu the hands of the captain, and
was not put on the steamer’s manifest.”
“I am very much ooliged to the cap
tain of your steamship and to your
ageuts,” I answered, “and also obliged
to my unknown benefactor, Wnen I
receive the box I certainly hope to know
more about it.”
Then the conversation turned on the
stearmer's voyage, which my visitor
said had been quite eventful, as atone
time they had a good chance to go to
Davy June’s locker. “We caught a
pampero off Madrina Point,” said he,
“that blew away every sail and de
stroyed four of our boats. We were
sailing along as nice as you please when
bang came that pampero like a shot from
a cannon. Eveiy rag of cauvas we had
out was swept away like the snapping of
your finger and the boats weut smashing
into splinters.”
“About as bad as a typhoon,” I re
raar ' ed *
A typhoonl” he exclaimed; “why,
- it
was worse while it lasted; worse than
ty P. °°. Q ” r a We8t India hurricane.
j Luckily it aian , t sjay more than min
ten
THE MONROE ADVERTISER, FORSYTH, GA*, TUESDAY, JANUARY 24, 1893.-EIGHT PAGES
ute« or me and jour box would bare
been at the bottom.”
Then he mentioned other incident* of
the voyage, rattled off with great glib
ness the names of their stopping places
and referred to little peculiarities of some
of the ports of the far East, which cer
tainlv seemed to show an acquaintance
with them. He mentioned, in the most
casual manner, that while coming out of
the Ly-ee-moon passage of Hong Kong
Harbor they narrowly escaped collision
with a French steamer which was just
going in, and he spoke of an incident of
their stay at the Tanjong-Pagar docks
at Singapore. His conversation was
fairly dotted with marine terms, but less
so than the talk of the sailor as the
dramatists usually present him on the
s * a 2 c >
He chatted on with great ease, and for
a time had me quite off my guard. Tnen
it occurred to me that his manner was
decidedly more jaunty an l free than
that of the first officers or even tue cap
tains of tramp steamers under the Eng
lish flag. His accent was not specifically
British, and his manner of twirling an
envelope, which I had given him to
show my full name and address, was
that of a man more accustomed to the
handling of papers than of one in his
purported position. A suspicion arose
in my mind that he was not all his fancy
and statements painted him, and while
he was talking so engagingly I endeav
ored to “take him in.” But I could not
imagine what his object was, assuming
that he was a counterfeit, inasmuch as
he had distinctly stated that there was no
charges for freight; he also said there
were no custom house duties, the officials
at Pniladelphia having consented that
the contents of the box, being intended
as a present, might enter the United
States free of charge, as though they
were for the Metropolitan Museum of
Art or other public institution.
Fifteen or twenty minutes passed
in general talk, and then there came a
slight lull in the conversation. I changed
my position in my chair in the endeavor
to hint that it wus about time to bring
the interview to an end; be took the hint
and rose to go, remarking, as he did so,
that he would send the box by express
that very afternoon. He was returning
to Philadelphia at once, having run over
*° New York for some custom house and
other business, aud I would be in posses
sion of my curios the next morning. I
thanked him and tendered a cigar, which
he accepted unhesitatingly. My suspi
c * on that he was an impostor had been
pretty thoroughly dispelled by the
knowledge he had displayed of Asiatic
ports and waters and of marine life in
general, aud by the absence of any re
quest for money.
As we neared the door leading from
the parlor to the hall he suddenly stopped
and said:
“Oh, by the way, I told you there
were no cnarges on the box. I forgot
the wharf charges at Pniladelphia; that
* s nil you’ll have to pay.”
“Indeed!” I answered, my suspicion
returning. “How much are those
charges?” cents,”
“ I'wo dollars and sixteen he
answered.
“Ah!” I said, “that's a mere trifle,
Have you a bill for them?”
“Du. no, I have no bill; the purser
pays those charges to the wharfmau and
asked me to collect the amount from you,
if I saw you.’
. “Certainly,” I answered. “Just 1(
box.
! “ We couldn't do that,” he said, “be
cause we sail to-monow morning.”
! “In that case,” I suggested, ‘Let your
consignees in Philadelphia pay the
amount, seud me the bill and I will re
mit. They will be entirely safe, as they
can hold the box for security until they
receive the money.”
“Certainly, we can do that,” he re
plied, quickly, “though, really, they
have nothing to do with the wharf
charges, which are settled by the purser,
as I just told you. It will make a little
j bother for them, but we’ll leave it that
way if you prefer it.”
Here was a blow to my suspicions;
the man was ready to comply witu my
suggestion even though it might ' be a
trouble to the consignees.
I expected that he would want to bor
row the price of h’s fare to Philadelphia,
j and was readv witu an answer in case he
j should do so. But lie had done nothing
j of the sort, and, a 9 for the wharf
• charges, I was somehow in a position in
which the ligat did not shine favorably
on me. Here was a valuable present for
lwc trom some friend or friends on the
other side of the world; the Glamorgan
had brought it through the perils of a
lrag ocean voyage and made no charge
for the service; the Custom House had
admitted the box free ot duty, thus
treating me with marked distinction;
I the steamer’s officer had sought me out
I to make sure of my identity; and here
was I ready to put the Glamorgan’s con
siguees to trouble rather thau part with
a paltry two dollars and sixteen cents!
But still my suspicion would not go
down and I delayed parting with the
sum 0 f nioney in question. So I said to
my visitor, wnose hand was actually
touching “Wilt the kuob of the door:
you kindly show me some doc
umeDts to prove your identity?”
“Have you auy doubt about it?” he
asked, with a 3 tnile.
“Oh, we wou’t enter into a discussion
on that point,” 1 answered; “but I have
long adopted a rule not to accept the
statement ot any man as to his identity,
when the pavment of money to him
hiuges upon it, unless I have some
roborative evidence.”
“ 1'hat’s quite right,” was the reply, as
the hand ot the stranger moved toward
the breast pocket of bis coat. “You
i can’t expect a man to carry his commis
sion with him all the time, but perhaps
these will do.”
He handed to me two letters ad
dressed to himself in his own official
character, and a document that appeared
to be the manifest of the steamship
Glamorgan. One letter had not passed
through the mails and was directed:
“On Beard;” the other bore the post
marks of Liverpool aud New York, hav
ing been sent by mail from the former to
the latter place and marked: “To be
called for.”
My suspicions were gone now, and I
returned the papers and proceeded to
pay the two dollars and sixteen cents
ueces-ary for whari charges. Mr. Crosby
volunteered to give me a receipt for the
racn ey and I still hold it. It is written
iu a clear, clerkly hand and is all that I
} iave to show for my outlay of the
amount named together with one cigar,
half an hour of time, and the same per
riod of mental perturbation. Tnere is a
steamship Glamorgan, but she was not
in any American port at the time of the
occurrence that I hare narrated, and ray
visitor was not her first officer. Since
the door closed upon bis nautical form
he has not communicated with me, and I
am still waiting for my box from Cuiua.
—Once A Week,
The American Snow riant.
The most remarkable plant found
growing "and in the United States is that
fragile paradoxical wonder, tue
“snow plant,” of the Sierra Nevada
Mountains. It is known to the botanist
as Sarcodes sanguines, meaning “bloody
or blooded flesh.” Nothing in the plant
line was ever more exquisitely beautiful
than this rosy snow tinted botanical
oddity, which has been likened to a
crowned hyacinth. It grows to a
height of from eight to twenty inches,
each separate bract, sepal aud miniature
bell being frosted as delicately as thouga
done by the ice king himself. Alt lough
the wnole translucent spike is flusaed
wit h rose and carmine, the petals are
• the richest and most brilliant parts of
j the flower, which is five-parted, each
0 pen bell plainly disclosing the little
frosted '
stamens and pistils. Toe Long
expedition, one ot wuose members was
the original discover of Sarcodes, found
oue or two specimens of the plant bear
mg eight perfect flowers, one of them
having a fa.se bulb twenty or more
mcaes j n diameter, shaped like a
pineapple, and as brittle as spun glass.
Altnoujh this pseudo bu.b was hard
to the touch, it dried up in a lew days
until it was no larger than the odd-loos¬
ing icicle-like stem upon which it grew.
Floriculturists of the Pacific Slope have
made many unsuccessful attempts to
cultivate the snow plant, the bulbs be¬
ing too brittle to stand transplanting
and 1 he seeds refusing to grow. Botan¬
ists once gave it as their opinion that
the plant would not survive below the
line of perpetual soow, but this idea has
lately been proven erroneous. One
thing is certain, however, it makes its
early growth while covered with many
feet of snow, blooming as soon as the
icy covering is penetrated.—New York
News.
Uhe Largest Paintings.’
The largest paintings ever produced,
not including panoramic sceues, which
are usually the work of a half dozen or
more persons, was that made by Jacopa
Lobusti, a Sixteeuth Century artist, born
in Venice, and a pupil of Titian. “Par
adise,” the name given this monster
painting, gives the reader a good idea of
the picture itself, it being a representa
tion of the Garden of Eden, showing
Adam and Eve, the animals, trees, ser
pent, etc. It is now in the grand salon
of the Doges of Veuice, and is ciguty
four feet long and thirty-four feet wide,
In ceiling decorations that in the Sistine
Chapel of tue Vatican exceeds ail otners
in point of magnitude, being 133 feet
square. Like Robasti’s great work, this
too, is a Bible scene, or ratr.er an lllus
tration of a Bible theme, it represents
the creation and the fall of man aud the
early history ot the world, with reier
ence toman’s chances for redemption
and final salvation. James Tnornnill’s
fine painting on the ceiling of tae great
hall of the Greenwicn Hospital, L radon,
is also reckoned among the gigantic
paintings of the world. The nosuital
was founded by William III. and Queen
The painting is a representation
above named potem^ites^ur
ruuuuuu oy every attribute ot prosperity,
Opposite the S stine Cuapel at Rome,
mentioned above as adding one of Mich¬
ael Angelo’s largest tresco paintings, is
his “Last Juigment,” occupying the
whole of the wall, which is sixty feet
high, but only thirty teet wide. So ue
body has aptly said: “Augelo’s ‘List
Judgment’is the marvel of this as well
as tne age in which tne ^reat paiuter
lived aud worked. It represents over 30J
figures, many life size, all in vioient at¬
titudes and most admirable disorder.”—
New York News.
The Earth’s Tare* .'Iollons.
The earth, in addition to its diurna'
ftQR'ial revolutions, has a slow wab*
j Uliug of its axis, a motion seldom
m <radoned eveu iu the text-books of
astronomy. This curious motion may be
I P ro P®Hy likened to that imparked to a top
i a touch ot the linger on its rim when
jtisia rapid movement, snd of the the toucu caus
u PP er top s stem to
j describe a small circle, bo, too, the
! oiighty sun lays hold of the rim of the
^ reat terrestrial top and it begins to
| e>scillute in the long period of 21,000
je&fs. 1 nat is to say, on December 21,
1243, the earth made its nearest ap
j proach to the sun; and it will approach
! j equally near in 10,500 years from that
time, or on the twenty-first day of June
in the year 11.743. This has all to do
j with climate both north and south of
j the equatorial line. In the period com
j prising the first, as Professor C. C.
Merrimau so well tells us in his article,
i “ The Polar Glaciers,” our Northern
[winters are short and mild and our
summers long and sunny, But,
! during the period of which the year
11,748 will be the middle, our win
ters will be awful in their severity and our
summers short and cool. Eveu now the
Northern Hemisphere is slowiy but sure
ly loosing its long sunny summers, and,
it you should live until the winter of the
j year 11.743-49, you could tell a story of
the cold and snow that would pale to
j j insignificance winter of 1331-34, the for stories the whole of the North- cold
ern Hemispaere will then be in the
midst of its great and terrible winter,
From deductions made iu readiug
j Professor Mernmau’s valuable article, I
infer that he considers glacial epochs at
j tributable to tue periodic recurrences of
j such a series of frigid winters.—St.
! Louis Republic,
How Little Lau a Man Live Ou.
A very eminent authority on die; says
that the average man in a state of absj
lute rest can live on sixteen ounces of
J food a day; a man doing ordinary light
j work and can live on twenty-three ounces,
a man doing laborious work needs
j from twenty-six and three-quarters to
j j thirty ounces. Tais is supposed to be
food free from water, and as everything
we eat contains more or less water, from
forty-eight to sixty ounces of ordinary
. food may be regarded as necessary to
‘ healthy existence, according the
to work
j in fair, which a man who is engaged* generally knows Lord Play- what
a man
he is talking about, estimates that tne
following will give a healthy raaa suffi*
cient sustenance fora whole week; three
pounds of meat with one pound of fat,
two ordinary loaves of bread, one ounce
of salt ami five pints of milk; or, fot
meat, five or six pounds of oattn-ai may
be substituted —Courier-Journal,
BUDGET OF FUN.
HL3IOROUS SKKTuHKS FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
The Villain Confessed—Can** Keep
Track ot It—V Last Ketuge—
On the Hotline Deep—
Ltc., Etc,
“Oh, I am the poet who wrote
Ta-ra-r* Boom-de-ay ? ”
He yel od, as he doffed his coat,
•'And 1 wear a wreath of bay.”
But the editor swiftly smote
i he fiend who fathered that lay,
An he’d no more sing & note
O. “fa-ra-ra Boon-ie-ay!'*
—New York Journal.
ON THE ROLLINO DEEP.
First Passenger — “Weil, old boy,
what’s up this aftcrnoo.i?” j
Passenger—“All but me soup?”—
Quips.
can’t keep track of it.
“Is Cora's complexion light or dark?”
“It's impossible to tell. Sue cuanges
it every time she does her dress.”—
Yankee Blade.
NO DIVIDENDS.
Visitor—“What is all that noise and
racket ic£ tae private office?”
Office Boy—“On, that's the silent
partner going over the books.”—Life.
qt'ITE THE REVERSE.
Maude—“Who was the friend 1 saw
with you a moment ago?”
Elle"—“He’s not a friend. Pm en¬
gaged to him.”—Chicago News Record.
A LAST REFUGE.
Fiery Anarchist—“But if France and
England and America close tneir doots
against us where will we go?”
Plain American—“Go to work.”—
Chicago Tribune.
IT WAS HIS NATURE TO.
She (iu a horse car)—“Tnat fat man
is twice as polite as you.”
He—“Way?”
She—“Because when he got un lie.
gave me at least two seats.”—New Yoric
Journal.
HIS PEAK.
“Don’t you think my new bonnet is a
perfect poem, John?” asked the poet’s
wife.
“I’m afraid it’s several poems,” sighed
Johu, as he thougnt of the bill.—Har¬
per’s Bazar.
THE HARD PART.
Proprietor—“Did you let the lady
know it was no trouble to show your
wares?”
New Clerk—“Yes, sir. I told her
that selling them was waere the rub came
iu.”—Life.
NO REPORTS.
Dr. Thirdly—“How long is it, Mr.
Weed, since your wife joined the silent
majority?”
Weed—“Poor Maria died a year ago;
but I have yet to learn that she joined
any suen —Puck.
A last resort.
F' - n
clerk)—“Hev ye' an-strycanine or ar
seme?”
Timid Clerk—“No.”
The Desperate Tramp—“Well, then,
gimme a piece of soap.”—CaicagoNews
Record.
A LOGICIAN IN KNICKERBOCKERS.
“Now, Johnuy, suppose the clock
should strike sixteen, wuat time would
it he?”
“ Tnat w'ould depend.”
“On what?”
“On what time it was when the clock
struck sixteen.”—Harper's Bazar.
ANXIOUS TO SERVE.
Lawyer—“It is reported that you have
frequently expressed yourself as opposed
to capital punishment?”
Deacon Highsoul (drawn for jury duty)
—“I wou’t nave no scruples in that
man’s case. He cheated me on a hoss
trade once.”—New York Weekly.
HE HAD SEVERAL.
The Voice From the Telephone—“Is
this Mr. Titters?”
Titters—“Yes; who are you?”
The Voice From the Telepnone (sweet¬
ly)—“Your fiancee, love.”
Titters—“Er— can’t you be a little
more explicit?”—Chicago News Record.
A LITERARY NARCISSUS.
In a company of novel writers the
conversation turned upon Z, a brother
novelist.
“A very decent fellow,” said one ot
the party, “i never heard him say a bad
word about any oue.”
“Parbleul” replied S, “he never talks
about anybody but himself.” — La
France.
M1SS SHARP'S JOKE.
“Did ycu—aw—hear Mith Sharpth
lasht joke about me?” asked Cholly, ad¬
dressing Cnappie.
“Naw. \Vnat was it, deah boy?”
“She thaid my valet ought to be a
good cook, and I asked her why, and
she answered, Becaut he dretheth a
gooth every day. Haw! haw! naw!” —
New York Press.
A PROTEST. NOT A PROPOSAL,
Landlord “I beg your pardon, Miss,
but really you have no idea how many
nights ^sieep I have lost on your ac
co jj. nt '
lenant s Daughter “Why don t you
speak to my mother, then?”
Landlord—“ Any should I? It is not
your mother who plays the piano.”—
Fliegende Blaetter.
NO LOSS.
Mrs. Newwed—“I don’t believe
there s a grain ol truth iu the stories
that people tell about losing groceries
an Mr. things Ne in wed—“I flats, do don you? know.” j
v t
Mrs. New wed —“ VV eil, anynow, we ve
been nere a week and we haven't lost a
thing; m fact, we're actually tea ouadies
of wood ahead.”—Puck.
REMARKABLE COINCIDENCE.
Dr. Squills (emenient specialist)—
“Now, tuere was the case of a man
named Stoplinger, who had half his
brains shot away ia a street brawl some
years ago and is still alive ” |
Euitot of Literary Magazine— Stop-
linger? Not J. Xenophone Stoplinger? ,r
“Yes, that was his name.”
“Why. he’s the author of the society
novel that’s having such a run!”—Chi¬
cago Tribune.
DIPLOMACY.
“JobnDy,” said his mother, “do you
know who ate those cookies I left in the
pautry?” mamma,’* replied the noble
“I do,
boy, his eyes filling with tears, “but it
would not be manly for me to tell.”
And this is how it came that Johnny’s
brothei received two undeserved spank¬
ings—one for tae cakes he aid not steal
and anotner for his truthful denial.—
Indianapolis Journal.
INSURANCE RATES.
The clerk in the accident insurance
office was busy when the visitor arrived,
“What can I do for you?” he in¬
quired, briefly. policy.”
“I want an accident
“All right, sir. Wuat's your busi¬
ness?”
“I’m a stuient.”
“Ah! Be ong to a football learn?”
“Yes. Does that make any differ¬
ence?”
“Some, in the rates.”
“How much?”
“Well, a policy for $5)00 will cost
you £2 a minute,”—Detroit Free Press.
HE DID NOT COMPLAIN.
Globetrotte—“I had an experience
last time I was over. The inn where I
stopped in cue town was full, and I had
to take the haunted room or sit up all
night.”
Host—“Did you take it?”
Globetrotte—“Yes; and if ever a
room was really and truly haunte i that
was. Every time I woke up I felt wuat
seemed like anotuer person in bel wiffi
me, but wnen 1 lit the candle aothiug
wss there. It was horrible.”
Host—“I should say so. Did you tell
the landlord?”
Globetrotte—“No, indeed. He would
have charged me for lodging for two.”
—New York Weekly.
NOW HE FEELS BETTER.
A Woodward avenue man, who likes
hisjose aud his good living, hasn’t
been feeling well lately, and oue day
last week he went to see a physician.
The doctor felt his pulse, looked at his
tongue and became thoughtful.
“Um-er,” he said, “do you eat before
going to bed?”
“Well, yes, usually.”
“Of course you do. I was sure of
that. The symptoms are very evident.
You’ll have to stop it.”
“Entirely?” asked the patient, qai
etly.
The doctor became thoughtful again.
“Um-er,” he said, slowly, “about
how much do you eat, and aoout how
long after it before you go to bed?”
“Tnat depends somewhat, doctor,” Lj
and the patient looked serious,
usually eat three meals, and they are
scattered along between 8 in the morn¬
ing and 8 at night.”
Then the doctor made a few tropical
remarks and said: “Two dollars,
please.”—Detroit Free Press.
The Languages of Hie World.
Some iuten:3ting statistics have been
dotngilefl T J3S. 10
different languages spoken m various
parts of the world. He states that the
language in which Shakespeare and Mil
ton wrote was tnen that of less thau six
millions human beings. Frenca was
the mother tongue of at least tuirty mil
lion people at a time when Englisn was
spoken by less than sixteen million, and
5U,(JOJ,o6o of French speaking people
were living when tue Revolution broke
out iu 1789. Between forty and fifty
years the English language equalled the
German in the number of those who
spoke it, and now tne latter is left far
behind. German is now spoken by 10,
000,000 in the Austro-Hungarian em¬
pire, by 46,000,600 in the German em¬
pire, by 4,000,000 in Belgium, and by
about 2,000,000 iu Switzerland. German
is also spoken by about 2,000,000 per¬
sons in the United S.ates and Canada,
giving a t tal of about 60,000,000 who
use tne German language. French is
spoken by the 33,000,000 inhabitants of
France, by 2,500,000 people in Belgium,
by 200,000 m Alsace-Lorraine, by 600,
000 in Switzerland, by 1,500,00 J in the
United States and Canada, by 600,000
in Hayti, aud by 1,5U0,0U0 m Algiers,
India, the West Indies and Africa, in all
about 45,000,000. English is spoken by
37,000,000 persons in the British Isles,
OUO by prohably 57,000,000 of the 60,000,
inhabitants of tne United States, by
4,0)0,000 persons ia Canada, by 3,000,
000 in Australia, by 3,700,0 JO vVest
Indians and by 1,000,000 in India and
other Britisu colonies, bringing the total
of the English speaking race to over
100,0000,000.—Boston l ranscript.
The Sensations of Battle.
A gentle nan who was distinguished
in the Civil War for hi3 persoual
bravery, and who fougnt in some of tae
most bloody battles, was receatiy asked
just how it felt to be under lire.
“Snail I tell you just how a battle
affects me?” he asked smiling, “it is
not elegant, but it is at least true.”
“Yes.” was tue reply, “tell us exact¬
ly wuat it is like.”
“I can only speak of my own feel¬
ings,” tne old soldier said; “but as far
as the effect on me personally goe3, a
battle is like a champagne druak.”
“You mean that it is so exciting?”
the questioner asked.
“1 mean,” was the reply, “that there
j 3 first an intense and glorious excite
ment, and that alter tbac co nes a most
undignified but inevitable nausea! I
was never in battle in my lile witiout
being sick afterward.”—Boston Courier.
The Way Cyclones Turn.
The question is often asked: Why do
cyclones, “whiriwmds” and tornadoes
all persist in the polar wmri of from
right to left? Astonomicai speculators
have supposed tnat all tae planets once
existed as rings of tainlv scattered
matter around the sun, and that these
rings were annular segregations from a
irregularly scattered mass that
turned one way m spiral courses, thus
determining the direction in which the
rings revolved, and all the rest from
this took the same course. “But,” you
say, “why diet the nebula revolve at all?”
It grew from chaos, and chao3, pre
sumably, possessea an inherent motion
from right to left. This being the case,
from that time to this, sun, moon, stars,
planets, cycioces and tornadoes nave ad
he red to tne original habit.—St Louis
Republic.
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.
A SIMPLE WAV TO STERILIZE MILK.
The following is a simple plan for
-tcrilizing milk, which is recommended
by an English authority: Place the milk
in a flask, inserting a wad of cotton
wool in the neck, aoout one inch long,
and closely packed. Then dip the flask
iu some water in a saucepau, with the
neck leaning against the side above the
water, aud for twenty minutes. It
on the following day, the milk is sim
iarly heated for twenty minutes, it will
be sterilized, aud can be kept in the flask
for weeks, lie says he has long used
this metuod, aud Hods that the milk
keeps sweet indefinitely—New York
World.
JELLY FROM APPLE PEELINGS.
Iii tue country wuere apples are used
in large quantities lor drying, wash the
apples betore peeling and save the peels;
put them in uorceiaiu lined kettles, aud
cover with water, boil uutil tender, ponr
intc jelly bag3 and let drain over night;
boil uutil you nave only naif |uo qua i
tity, measure anti allow tue jiuce of one
le non aud two pounds of granulated
sugar tor each quart of juice; heat toe
sugar aud add to tue juice, boil until
wuen a skimmer is dipped m and out
again, in will drip oJE in two or tnree
places. A good flavored apple makes
mucii liner jedy tuuu a poor one.—No w
York Observer.
TU TLF. SOUP.
The turtle must be killed over night
and nung up to bleed. Iu the morning
carefully separate the shells, taking care
not to breas tne ga'.l; put tne eggs, tins
and fiesh into tne cold \va er, re nuvmg
careiully tue biacii skin trom tne tins.
Put tue turtle to ooil iu twice as rauca
wacer as yon wisn sou,), to ado w tor
boning away. Let it boil ior two uours,
skimming it well; then add six slices of
nice ham auu a quarter of a pound of
fresh butter, and iut it boil three uours
more. About an hour bemro it is doue
add one gil^of nee, oue gill of flour
crea ued with a heaning- teaspoonful of
butter, one onion minced flue, two stalks
of celery cuopped up, a littie bunoa of
thvme, half a teaspoon cacti of moves
and allspice. Cook for an nour more.—•
New York World
LOG CABIN TOAST.
A touch of fancy, or an unusual
daintiuess in serving, will often rouse a
child’s lagging appetite, writes Miry
Maxwell. I have fouui tuat thouga the
children iti our family are not interested
in a plate of plain toasted slices cf
bread, tnoy are always on the qut vive
when a “log cabin” is brought to the
table; and tni3 is an especially dainty
way of serving dry toast, wnether one
wisucs to eat it from tne fingers or to
crumb it into a bowl of milk.
With a suarp knife, irom a firm,
somewhat stale loaf, cut slices lengta
wise—tnat is, the long way of the loaf.
Trim off alL crusts. Now cut, also
lengthwise, tne slices into narrow strips
an inch wide. Toast tneso straws
goldcn-browu aud then butter them —
unless they are to be broken into milk
or dipped in cream as eaten. Pile criss¬
cross ou a hot plate, log cabin fasuion, ^
four-square. Serve hot.—Cuicago News
Record.
ECONOMICAL CELERY SOUP.
Many families of small means look
upon celery as a luxury, lue greenish.
half blaucned stalks ot the cheap bunch
really are not very good eating, and the
^ ne ) white, large crisp bunco costs too
much for the workingman's everyday
dinnei. But there is an economical way
treating tho large bunch of best
celery which makes it cheap. Use tho
portions of the crisp stalks as a
relish. All tho tough portions, and the
root carefully cleaned, are to be cut fine,
covered with cold water and cooked
slowly till nearly the whole can be
rubbed through a strainer. Half an
hour befote dinner heat this liquid celery
with an equal quantity of any kind of
meat brotn you happen to have in the
Louse, and then add one pint of hot
milk thickened like a white sauce, with
two tablespoonfuls each of butter and
flour cooked together. Season witu salt.
If you have no broth alter your soup is
iu the tureen stir into it slowly and
smoothly tne well beaten yolk of .an
egg, and you will not miss at all the
richness of the meat.—New York Press.
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
Onions keep best wuen spread out on
a dry floor.
Grate and bottle odd bits of cheese
ready for use.
Prick potatoes before baking to allow
the air to escape.
E nery powder will remove ordinary
stains trom ivory knife handles.
The tone of the piano is not so good
when it is set back against the wail.
Keep pearls in powdered magnesia and
they will never lose their brilliancy.
Place a lump of camphor gum with
the silverware to keep it trom tarnish¬
ing.
Leather chair seats may be revived by
rubbing tuem with well beaten white of
egg
It is stated that cheese will not mould
if wrapped in a clothPwet witn ciier
vinegar.
One of the most palatable of gruels is
a combination of cream, beet tea and
barley water.
Two drachms each of borax and gly
eerine to eight ounces of distilled water
cools tue scalp and removes dandruff.
Instead of toasting bread for pea-soup
try drying it or roasting it until crisp
in the oveD, and see how superior it will
be.
For chilblains bathe the feet in warm i
water for a quarter of an hour, put on a
pair of ruooers without stockings and
go to bed.
Spots on the wood of furniture may
often be removed by rubbing vigorously
with turpentine and sweet oil, and then
renewing the polisa by brisk rubbing.
Steel knives, used at table or for cut¬
ting bread, meat or anything for which
a snarp knife is needed, should never be
used for stirring or cooking anything in
hot grease, a3 it makes them very dull.
As fruit jars and jeliy glasses are ernp
tied see that they and their tops are
thoroughly washed, rinsed, scalded anl
dried before they are put away. Be
sure that they are dried before screwing
on the tops. The ruober bands might
as well be thrown away at once, as it is
a better plan to buy new ones everv
year. :
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
When I was just at the careless age
And knew very little of life or myself
I chanced on this motto in soma old p ig 1 .
“Bo true to yourself.'*
I scribbled it over the leaves oi mv boo’ts
And on old papers laid up on th? shslf,
I cut it in trees in woodland w o 1
“Be true to yourself.’
Abroad or at homo, at work or at play,
Whether waiting on pleasure or sighing
for pelf,
It sang in my cars by night and by day,
“Be true to yourself."
In the pages o' stoiy, of song and romance,
Whether reading o£ Saxo i or It i.nan or
Guelph,
I'his saying before in? forever would d ine.’,
“Be true to yourself."
When temptation comes bol lly and knocks
at your door,
Whether robed in the guise of an an e: or
elf.
By the aid of this motto yo.i'ii w.n every
score,
“Be true to yourself."
ft is better than amulet bios ol by the
pr.est,
j It is grander than treasures •> oeei:^ 4
delf,
It is rarer than charm from the charm-laic
1 East,
Be true to yourself.*’
— Harriet S nead
PHIL AND POINT.
On bended knees—Buggy trousers.
A clothes calculation—Tne tailors
bill.
A note to meet—A written invita
tiou.
The inside track—The alimentary
canal.
Ancient, coats of arms—Holsters aud
scabbards.
Advice is the experience that is sold
out below cost.
The Board of Health—The feed you
get iu the country.—Truth.
Ignorance of the law excuses no man
—not even an attorney.—Pack.
A shrinking little thing—Tne cheap
llanuel shirt.—New York Journal.
Talk about your transformations! Wo
have seen a square man turn round.—
Statesman.
In the railroad world a crooked line
is ottea the shortest distance between
two points.
A new shoe in the market is made of
imitation buckskin; it is not dear.—
Lowell Courier.
When a foreigner is made a citizen of
the United States they havo to caange
the subject.—Truth.
“Mr.” is perhaps the only word in the
language that abbreviation saves from
being ridiculous.—Puck.
It is hard to escape the influence of
family. Even in the directory a man’s
name decides his position.—Puck.
Though the ship’s cook may boast his
ability to prepare a good meal he gener¬
ally makes a “mess” of it.—Gazette.
“Who is the belle to-night?” askel she
As they stood on tne hall room floor;
He looked around the room to sec,
And she -oealcs to him no more.
The “reed bird” still figures on tho
V>ill /*f for ’ ’ “'me m°fi»urauts, but bis
part is taken by his understudy, tho
sparrow.—Pniladelphia Record.
Bowaroyoung Of the matrimonial man, uoouthebrmk
It’s love .eel—that questionl
you s what you think—
But it may be indigestion.
—Chicago News Record.
“What made you name your farm
‘Meter’ ” queried the reporter. “Because
it lies so beautifully,” answered the re¬
tired gas magnate, with a low, sibilant
chuckle.
! Mrs. Watts—“What is that you are
making now?” Mrs. Potts—“Asooking
jacket for my husband. If that doesn’t
cure him of smoking around the house I
don’t know what will.”
Mrs. Hicks—“I whli you would go
out with baby for a little while.” Hicks —
“Well, well; the neighbors have got a
notion now that I’m a sandwich man for
a baby carriage factory.”
Father—“Does that young man mean
business?” Daughter—“I guess he does,
father. He is getting so familiar now
that he wears the same necktie twice in
succession.”—The Clothier and Furu
i s h e r.
“Fulton is going to join the next ex¬
pedition to the North Pole, and is mak¬
ing preparations now.” Birney—“Wuat
j 8 he doing?” “He rented a nouse
heated by a furnace.”—Chicago Inter
Ocean,
“I know my feet are to stand on,”
said a crabbed individual in a crowded
cable o^ir to his neighbor, “but if it is
sarae *° J’ 011 I would like that
privilege for myself exclusively. Will
you please get down on the floor.—Pniia
delphia Record.
“So friend Bushier was on top of
Mount Blanc?” “Not at all.” “But
he said so.” ‘‘True. Two months ago
when he returned from Switzerlrnd he
said he had been at the foot of M rant
Blanc. Since then he has gradually lied
himself to the top.”—Fliegende Blaetter
She bake! a lovely marble cake,
At least the dear thought so;
But better far when a^ked to eat
rfatl hubby brave said no.
He downed a piece; it was too much;
Her crime she must atone,
Tiie rest of it wasn’t wasted though,
But usedior Ills iomostoue.
—Pittsburgn Dispatch.
There is nothing like tact, after all.
V hen your friend bores you by his
jeremiads about his physical ills, you
can easily shut him up by artlessly bring¬
ing your own bodily ailments to the
fore. He will immediately lose all in¬
terest in the conversation and leave you
incontinently to seek some other lriend
who does not possess your consummate
tact.—Boston Transcript.
An Indian Compact of Peace.
The final peacemaking between the
Sioux and the Chippewa Indians was ac
complished at Maunah, Meeker County,
on Decemoer 13, 1857, and the agree¬
ment was as follows:
“The Leech Lake chief, Ne-Pa-Quaru,
gave the pipe of peace to the 8ioax
chief, He-Yung-Ma-Ne, who gave the
Pb De back to Ne-Pa-Quam.
“Agreed that if any Indian of the
Leech Lake band killed any Sioux, the
warrior of the Leech Lakers shall
be given up to be hung with the cord
Attached to the pipe, and the same
a ? ree ™ en t return on the part of the
^ oux .”
All of which might not ’nave been le—
gal, but it “went” just the same.—.
MiaaeapoBs Trib une.