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BUTTER MAKING,
c -rhead the maple trees,
* around the southern breeze
Bird) [aging everyinhere;
< irccling through the golden air ;
Rub-a-<lab! Pit-n-pat!
A r fame and all o' that!
Poily's arms arc white os tniik j
Polly's hair Is fine as silk ;
Polly's eyes are bright fir itars.
Glimpsing through tho jetty bar!
Of her lashes. Pit-a-pat 1
• What recks Polly of all that?
Morning-glories on the wall,
Red and purple, fresh and tail,
Nodding on so frail a stem,
Mai a deep embroidered hem
On the blue sky. P.nb-a-dub!
Polly gets the butter-tub.
Twenty pats like rolls of gold,
Prinked with elover-blossom mould,
T're*h ns mountain dew and sweet;
And whore pot and pattern moot
! ’iniuondfi gather. Pit-a-pat I
Polly’s hands are white and fat.
There are dimples at each joint,
1 he pink tips are fine of point
And the elbow glanetng higher —
’ fs an elbow to admire,
Pimpled, too, and—pit-a-pat!
Made for kiss' s and—all that.
Polly doesn't know she's fair
f Vs a Naiad, standing there,
Neath the morning-glory vine,
Flecked by shadow and sunshine;
Htie’i my sweetheart pit-a-pat!
t here, my rohy-lips, take that!
-Belle Hunt, in Frank Leslie's,
LIN BURNT? A M'S WnOTNU LLLli vJ 1
Hi’ EIJlRUXJE S. CROOKS.
Sill AvOr M Issr HAD from ducted , JLfl just one returned tours r ol' con- my
j=> across the saud
llutH *° the sea
m* gardens on Stage
4! "(I (I \j° ^ Island, and was
flr drawing off my
long wilding-boats, tired but satisfied
with tho trip- as I always am when
people enter into my appreciation of
the marvelous and mysterious display
of marine lights and life that the Stage
Island sen gardens offer—when I heard
tho sound of laughter iu the “back
buildin’s,” and asked of Elmer Dan
forth, the errand boy, who was on his
way to Carpenter Nugent’s for water,
“What’s up in the kitchen, Elmer?”
And the boy replied, swinging the
pails in a double dumb-bell act about
bis head, “Oh, nutlun’; only Lin and
Lyddy Aim foolin’.”
“Oho!” I said to myself, “so tJio
usual summer romance is going on in I
flic kitchen, is it? I’ll have to go in
Hud borrow the hammer; that dock- :
seat is getting a trifle rickety and
needs ‘
strengthening. ” i
The big kitchen of the Outlook, its ;
latent and most important addition,
stretched beyond the other “back
buildin’s” of the house, and whs at
once the workroom and rallying
ground of the Outlook family and its
retainers. The clumsy haircloth sofa
near the dour relic of the old regime
at the Outlook, and with haircloth and
polish alike fast disappearing was
tho seat of honor in the hospitable
kitchen, and side by side upon it as 1
entered the room searching for the
hamnier, were Lyddy Ann, tho eldest
daughter of the house, aud Lin Burn
hum.
Lyddy Ann had once been young;
so too had Lin. Not that they were
old yet, though a few gray streaks be
gau to show in Lyddy Ann’s crinkly
looks and just a trace of crow's-feet
nppeared on Lin’s impassive face. I
had been a summer resident at the
Outlook for numerous years, and each
summer 1 had been witness to the
same gronpiug I saw this afternoon.
.Lyddy Vnn sitting straight and prim
in the center of the haircloth sofa,
and Liu lounging upon its further
arm. with a vague expression upon his
► I olid face as he listened to Lyddy
Ann’s caution, “Oh, quit your foolin’,
Lin!” ’
H Just what this “foolin’” could bo I
never in all these years discovered.
But it was the stereotyped remark X
could always depend upon when 1
chanced upon my C'hloe and Strephon
romancing in the Outlook kitchen.
Lin Burnham was the son and heir
of Otis Burnham, “the king of the i
harbor and its one moneyed man;
that is. iu, money is reckoned at the
Harbor.
As n matter of fact the most of the
Harbor fishermen are “real forehand
t'd. ’ Uap'n Jim, as I happen to know
from words dropped by him during i
the last financial worry, has “a lectio
sumthin’ on deposit in most of the
savings banks of the county; so, too,
have Ed Haw kins and his brother Les
lie, and lhe Nugents and Clemens and
IVvoys: aud so 1 imagine, though to
less extent, has Silas Evans. But still
ill these savings are us nothing com
pared to the “forty thousand dollars”
left at his death by Otis Burnham, i
good and honest man, to his sou aud
iieir Liucoln Burnham—the slow -
witted, ungainly, taciturn aud scarcely j
* “’air-favored,’' but good-hearted,
honest and well-meaning, middle-aged
a u who for years had been reported
as “keepin eomp’ny” with Lyddy
\nn. “up to the Outlook. "
"Funny thing .about Liu is.” re
marked Cap’n Jim oue day, us I sat
under his apple tree on the single sec
tiou of whale spine that made a com
tortable garden seat, “that he's so all
ired slow iu coinin'to u p’int that he
don t see tin p int till he's way off on
t other tack. I went into his place one
dayback iu the spring to git some
steak—notice what good steaks he's
givin’ of ye this season? he gits 'em
way from Portland, aud he dot's seem
to ^it hold o’ better beef 'n Otis did—
an d I sez to Liu, sez f. ‘Lin, they do
s *y Lyddy Ann's goin’ up to Boston to
run an'eatin’ house; hearn anything
'bout it? Feller up there’s offered her
half the bu^me? - and himself thrown
in, if she’ll come up ami ruu it. You
want to wake up pooty quick ei you
« don’t want to lose her! Thought I'd
kind o’ give him i scare, you know,
f u, lit didn't say nothin' right off',
out went and drawed somo karryseeu
lo into his mola>ses measure. Then
sez, sez he, ‘Don't s’pose I could
11 um the meat f or their place, do
■?’ sez he. Well, there, said Cap’n
Min, I don t know to this Gay
whether he knowed I was only foc-lin’
r w bet her he really did think ho could
« deal to -el! k Boston wfiu’
THE MONROE ADVERTISER, FORSYTH, GA„ TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 20. 1S94.--EIGHT PAGES
bouse meal from Portland by way of
Lyddy the Harbor. Ann's sfciddy But he’s all right. and He’s I |
company;
don’t b’lieve she’d let any other feller
fool 'round her—ef there was any fel
to fool. Lyddy Ann comes
mighty forehanded stock, and she
hain’t agoin’ to let no forty thousand
dollars slip out of her hands, not if she
knows herself. She’H git it, sure as
eggs is eggs, onless some girl wc don't
know on hereabouts cuts in under her.
Hain’t no marrying girls among your
folks up to the Outlook that’s tryin’ to
cut her out, be there?” and Cap’ll Jim
went into such convulsions over his
ponderous joke that the gold rings in
his weather-beaten ears fairly shivered
with the shock.
No, there were no marrying girls
among the Outlook boarders who
would cut Lyddy Ann out; but, in
Mime respects, Lin Burnham was a
■match worth trying for. He was
good deal of a chestnut burr, after all,
rough on the outside but something
j sweet within.
j “After Otis Buruham died,” so Silas
Evans told me, “Lin, he up and shin
gh-d the, old fish house on the dock
'cause his father hoped he wouldn’t let
! it go to wrack. And you and me know, ”
added .Silas, “that them big old fish
houses on Burnham’s dock is about as
onprofttable a piece of property as you
can find b’tween Duck Bock Ledge
i and the P int. When them two boys
of Widder Parkins was missin’ in last
j winter s jest big plum gale, Lin, full he of kep’ Tittles the and old
woman
fuel and wouldn't take u red cent for
'em nuther when the Parkins boys
showed up—and there wasn't never
i nobody that hez plagued him as them
Parkius boys uset to 'fore they growed
up. Lots of good about Lin Burn
bam, even if he don’t quite come up to
^is father.”
; Hut the best of folks are sometimes
fearfully slow, and even Lyddy Ann
mnst have begun to weary of hope de
f‘‘ rre "'ben d I for I she went said into to me the one kitchen morn
* u f?>
drink my “before-breakfast” cup of
! coffee with her: “Does seem as if I
should fly, there now! when things go
so slow. Isaid: “What things, Lyddy
i Ann? ’’and she answered, indefinitely:
I “Db, most everything,” and then ad
ded, “Liu s goin’ up to Portland to
day. Anything he can do for you?”
Din g°i»g to Portland! It was
happening that might well become a
v< r -V seven-days’ wonder. For Lin,
"hose traveled road barely reached
beyond the Point, the Townhouse or
the outlook, to go to Portland, and in
midsummer, was something worth a
“ m ” ire bead” in the Globe, if aii en
terprieing reporter had but got hold
the news. Bui the sequence in
Lyddy Ann’s remark struck me yet
more forcibly than the tidings she
conveyed, and l said to myself:
“Lyddy Ann’s getting tired. Some
thing’s going to happen pretty soon,
ot 1 haven’t studied Lyddy Ann all
these years cbrrectly.”
The impression found currency
“Up-along” that this trip to Portland
menut business. On the postoffiee
bench, where it was openly discussed
ut lloon » tho decision seemed to be
that Liu had gone up for a ring, while
down at the Hawkins’ fish house under
the hill opinion wavered between a
smt of ready-made wedding clothes
IIU< 1 a change of butchers for the sup
pty °f beef. But Cap'll Jim, baiting j
* lis Hawk on Burnham’s dock along
u ’ith his son Bam, hazarded the sug
gestion that Lin hadn’t gone to Port- ,
la-ad a1 all, but. had just gone off “for j
ft train ride as fur as the Orchard to i
git kin alone hain’t a agoin’ spell and to do think nothin’ it over, rash j
uor hasty, you know,” Cap'n Jim said; i
and then added: “And I don’t know, j
^ ,u » kut what you might take pattern
ky him—that is, up to a sartin p’int,”
he concluded, qualifying his advice. 1
Lin’s store was locked up nil
day, and the only other store in the
Harbor got all of the trade, and did so
satisfactory :> business that Cap'n
Snell, who “kep” it. said, in his dry
" “Hope that ring’ll be too large
ur something—ef ^ rt ring—and
that Lin’ll have to go back and change
That’ll be another hull day up to
Portland and good for me.”
That night Lm came back, and,
ftfter supper, reperted as usual at the
Outlook. But he was dressed still in
uncomfortable best, aud it was !
tliat something " about to
^appem
Of course I am no eavesdropper,
and would not for the world have ■
listened to the conversation even
could I have found the chance. But ;
Elmer Danforth, the errand boy, was
an uuregenerato young scamp and
seemed to have no scruples against
playing the listener, especially i| by j
so doiug he could “git one in" on
Lyddy Ann. “Sue’s always sendin’ j
me for water or wantin’ somethin’
done, ” he complained, “and Lin, he i
wouldn’t lend me his catboat last
week, cuz Ed Nugent told him I
didn’t know a gaff-tops'l from a mar
line spike.”
Bo Elmer played eavesdropper, and I
next morning recounted for me the
whole scene, as ho witnessed it from
tho safe ambush of the big ice boxaud
the “Lyddy clothes Auu. horse. she druv ’em all j
out
o’ the kitchen into the livin' room !
eept'n me,” Elmer reported, “ ’n she
thought I'd gone up-along to order
some chickens from Mis’ Clemens for
your folks' Sunday dinner. But I
hadn’t ; I'd rutker you’d all go with
out no chickens than lose what was
goin' to go on. Bo I hid: aud when
Lin came in there wuz Lyddy Ann a
waitin' fer him. sort o’ earelesslike, on
the sofy. ‘Ev’n, Liu,’ she soz. *Ev’n,
Lyddy Ann.' sez Lm. sez he. ‘How
is it up to Portland?' sez Lyddy Ann.
‘Oh. noisier n nuthin', ’n hotter 'n
piziu,’ sez Lin. ’X then they didn’t
say nuthin’ for more'n tea minits.
Then Lin sez: ‘Lyddy Ann,‘ sez he.
"What is it, Lin?’ sez sin. 'Lyddy
Ann,’sez he, ‘I’ve been a-thiukin’a
spell whether you'd ruther go into that
there eatin’-house bizness up to Bos
ton or je^t stay right on here, ef every
thing wuz ail right?’ ‘Why, Liu’ sez
she, ** haiu't goin’ up to no Boston nor
run no eatin’-house Who said I wuz T
‘Why. Cap’n Jim, he wuz savin’ some
thin’ bout it, back a ways.’ ‘Cap’n
Jim!' sez Lyddy Ann, kinder snortin’,
you know, like she does when she’s
real mad :•‘lot Cap’n Jim knows‘bout
me. When you want to know what
I in goin to do, Lin Burnham, you jest
come and ask me. and don’t you be so
ready to take no second-hand reports,
i 4 haiu’t «r»"»in’ to run no eating house,'
hcz she, ‘up to Boston nor up to no
where else. It’s bad enough to run
one through the summer without doin’
it all winter, too.' ‘Wei!, I’m real
glad on it, Lyddy’ Ann,’ sez Lin. sez
‘cuz I’d hate to have you go away
from here, and I guess it's real risky
bizness tryin’ anything up to Boston.’
says Lyddy Ann, ‘lot you car
whether I stay here or not.’ ‘Oh yes,
I do, Lyddy Ann ; I care a lot.’ sez
Lin, kinder solemn like, *’cuz I've
knowed you so long I kind o’ depend
on yon senee father’s gone, ’n’ I’ve
got a question J’d like to ask you to
night.’ With that,” said Elmer, “I
scrooged down clus to the ice-box as I
could git, ’cuz things wuz gittin'
mighty interestin', and I listened fur
all I wnz wutb. ‘Well, out with it,
; Lin,’ sez Lyddy Ami, and then
, come a sound as if she wuz kind o’
; edging nearer to him. ‘Well, Lyddy
Arm,’ sez Lin, ‘it’s this: When you
j bile lobsters do you think it makes
any difference whether you pop ’em
into the jiot head fust or tail fust?’
Well, I swan,” said Elmer, fairly doti
bling up with unexploded laughter,
“when I hearn that and knowed what
she’d expected instid, I just bust right
out a-larfin’. Couldn’t ’a’ held in ef
you'd ’a’ skinned mo fur it—and—
well—I wuz chased out with a steak
pounder and Lin Burnham’s boot, and
I hadn’t been able to walk smart ever
since, they give me such a lambas
tin’.”
And that is all I have to report on
| the matter just now. To this day no
one knows why Liu Burnham went up
to Portland. Lyddy Ann went off to
Sandwich at the close of the season to
cook in a young ladies’ seminary, be
cause, as she explained, it would give
her such u nice chance to hear some
: good talkin’ and get some enlight
enin’, besides gettiu’ paid real well for
cookin’,
But “they do say” at the Harbor
1 that there really is an “understand
in’ ” between Lyddy Ann and Liu,
and wagers have even been laid on the
postoffiee bench, to such limited ex
tent as the Harbor ever indulges in
such unholy practices, as to how soon
Lin Burnham will get rid of that wed
ding ring he got “up to Portland”—
if it really was a ring he went for, and
if he really did go “up to Portland.”
—Independent,
Disappearance of Alligators.
The demand for alligator skins at
the North, where they are tanned and
made into valises, satchels, pocket
books, etc., has caused them to be
hunted so closely that it has almost
resulted in their entire destruction.
Before the demand rose for their hides
the bays and bayous of Louisiana were
full of the saurian*, which did no par
ticnlar damage except in catching a
stray pig or cur dog, but otherwise
they wore not supposed t o be of any
value at all,
With the disappearance of tho alii
gator it was noticed that there was a
marked increase in the number ot
other mischievous animals; especially
in the rice-fields of Plaquemines Parish,
the muskrat increased to au extent
that it was almost impossible to keep
up the back levees, which were built
for the purpose of keeping the water
on the rice during growing season,
The damage caused by the rats bur
rowing through the embankments ne
cessitated constant watchfulness and
entailed much hard labor, either to
rebuilding them entire or in digging
out the burrows aud filling- in with
solid earth. Tho rodents also infest
the front levees, honeycombing them
in every direction, necessitating
constant attention to avert the disas
trous consequences resulting from a
crevasse.
Truck farmers in the lower part of
Plaquemines have also complained that
since the extermination of the alliga
tor the common rabbit, the raccoon
and other wild animals have increased
largely, and that the rabbit especially
has proved very destructive to eauli
flower, cabbage and lettuce—in fact,
our informant said, that if these ani
mals continued to increase he would
be compelled either to erect a woven
wire fence around his truck farm or
abandon the culture of some of his
most profitable vegetables. Several
years since the police jury of the parish
of Plaquemines passed an ordinance
forbidding the killing of the alligator,
and with the increase came n corre
sponding decrease in the number ol
destructive vermin. We understand
Unit the law has since been repealed
^ t>r reason we do not know.—
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
(Md Freaks ol Collectors.
Nestor Roqueplan, the French lit
erary man, collected warming pans,
The late crazy King of Bavaria had,
among other manias, one for collect
ing hats.
Louis XYI. collected locks, keys and
old clocks until the guillotine collected
and decollated him.
Mrs. H. C. Harris, an English
woman, collected buttons, of which,
in twenty years, she came to own 8000
varieties.
Minnie Palmer, the actress, has a
perfect frenzy tor collecting stock
iugs, of which she has several trunks
full.
Lord Randolph Churchill has a
choice private collection of teeth ot
noted criminals and murderers, to
which he is constantly adding,
A Canadian has made a collection of
the buttons of officers of every regi
ment and department of the British
army, upon which he ha? spent nine
years of patient labor and expense of
postage and purchase,
The Duke of Fife collects artificial
flowers, and uses them to decorate his
dinner table instead of the genuine
article.
Princess Maud, ot Wales, collects
ivory, and has an extensive museum of
tusks of elephants shot by her father
and uncles, teeth of walruses, sharks,
lions and alligators and of wild boars
shot and sent by the Emperor of Ros
sia to enrich her collection.
Prince Ferdinand, of Bulgaria, has
a huge collection of dressing gowns,
and has paid as much as $525 for an
embroidered robe made up for him in
Paris.
Prince Luitpold, Regent of Bavaria,
has the most complete and extensive
collection of beetles, and is also a
skilled entomologist, deeply versed in
the habits of ants, bees, moths, flees,
earwigs, wasps aud evervthing ibat
flits, crawl'' or wiggles,—Collector.
BUDGET OF FUN,
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
First h Loan, Then a Gift —Sent to
Coventry—A Conversation at Sec¬
ond Hand-Not .lust the An¬
swer He Expected, Etc.
Sue was a maid of manner prim.
But melted ’neath his speeches bland ;
At first she lent her ear to him
And afterward gave him hor hand.
—New York Press.
A CONVERSATION AT (SECOND HAND.
“You're n hard case,” gmmbled the
Watch to its envelope.
“May be,’’ was the cool response;
“but I’m outside yet, and you're doing
tune."—Judge.
NOT JI'ST THE ANSWER HF. EXPECTED,
He (after they had talked it all over)
— “I don’t see what you could see in
n*e to fall in love with me.”
She—“Ob, love is blind, you know. ”
—New York Press.
SENT TO COVENTRY.
The Man with au only son)— “What
kind of scholars do you turn out at
this institution?”
Principal— “Those who don’t
study.”—Texas Siftings.
WAS ffllS SARCASM?
* Sophia (engaged to Angelo yester¬
day)— “Oh, don’t say you. are going,
Angelo. You’ve only been here thir¬
teen hours, and it seems so lonely
without you.’’--Philadelphia Life.
LIKED HER CUSTOM.
Fair Shopper—“I fear you will
think me very tiresome.”
Clerk—“I like to wait on you,
Madam. My throat is so sore to-day
that it hurts me to call ‘Cash V ”—Puck.
A GENTLEMAN OF EXPERIENCE.
“George is a mercenary fellow.”
“Did he try to marry yon for your
money?”
4 « Well, he proposed, and forced me
to reject him after his verv first pres¬
ent.’’-Life.
A PRACTICAL GIRL.
Elder Sister—“Why don’t you im¬
prove your mind, Belle, instead of
continually dawdling along about the
house?”
Belle—“What’s the use? I’m en
gaged.”—Judge.
BRAZILIAN NEWS.
Editor— ‘ ‘Any fresh news from
Brazil?”
Assistant—“Not a line.”
killed Editor—“Say the man who
a week ago last Thursday at
Bio is still dead, and make a column
of it. ”—Judge.
A MERCENARY LOVER.
“You look depressed, Wintie. ”
“I feel depressed, old man.”
t i What’s the matter? Business or
love?”
“Business. Alice De Milliau has
just refused me.”—Life.
i
WOULDN’T BE BOTHERED.
“What’s the matter, Billybub, you
don’t look well this morning?”
‘ T don’t know, I’ve been worried
about my head all day.”
“Oh, brace up, old fellow, I
wouldn’t let such a trifle as that put
me out any.”—Atlanta Constitution.
A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT.
Hecker— T , , That intelligent- .....
s a very '
looking oflice-boj of yours.
keeker He is.^
Hecker ‘‘Does he learn easily ?” j
Decker—"Remarkably so. I have j
|ust taught him not to whistle ‘Alter
the Bali. - nek. ;
A POOR PROTECTION.
Doctor—“Have you any idea how
.
your wife caught this terrible cold?”
Husband—“I think it was her
cloak.”
Doctor—"To thin, ehr
Husband—“No, it was a last winter '
one, and she didn’t wear it. ’’—Chicago !
Inter-Ocean. j
-- ;
changed his name. •
Bobbie—“Is dat ole lady your I
* " !
grandma?”
Dickey—“Naw. Bhe’s my ’ ladder’s j
mother-in-law.”
Bobbie—“What was your ladder’s
name before he was married?”
Dickey—“I don’t know, but he says |
it’s Dennis ever since.”—Truth. !
WONDERFUL GENIUS. j
‘T declare! Louisa is a perfect j J
marvel.
“She “Tell makes me how the you loveliest discovered bread it.” I j
evei ; j
" I here s nothing marvelous about j
that.
“I don’t know. Louisa attended a t
cooking-school for two winters.”— j
Judge. ' 1
j
REAPING WHERE HE HAD SOWN. j
Widow— “I want a stone for my j
husband’s grave exactly like the other
one in the lot.” j
Agent—“But isn’t it a trifle small '
for a man of your husband’s promi
nenee?” " I
Widow— ‘ No, sir ! If Thomas
thought a stone like that was good
enough for his first wife, I guess it’s
plenty good enough for Thomas. ”—!
Life. :
SOMEWHAT SIMILAR.
Mr. Sinnickle had just been reading
ot the marriage of a young woman
with money to a man with a foreign
ancestry.
"Modern matrimony, ... he remarked, ,
■ makes me think of the modern novel. ”
"In whaf respect? .
“U s a combination of striking title,
gilt-edged binding and a mighty poor
piece of work after all.”—Washing
ton Stai
GRADUATED .APPELLATIONS.
When she was introduced to him she
called him Mister Gildersleeve. After
she was, well acquainted with him
“Charles” was the usual term.
When they became engaged she
addressed him as “Charlie,” j
As the engagement progressed he j
became “dear. ;
Just before the wedding she called
him “dearest.”
During the honeymoon she called
him “darling.”
To her frieuds she alluded to “Mr.
Oildersleeve. ”
Oue year after marriage she called
him “Say, you,” while iu speaking ol
him he was "that husband of mine.”
—Judge.
AMERICAN NOTES.
The son of Albion stood gazing a,
the group of men in front of the “Bou
Ton Temple of Bacchus” with deep in¬
terest. Excitement was running high
at lied Dog. It was the day of elec¬
tion, and a reform ticket was in tho
field.
“Alkali Ike, ain’t yer goin’ ter vote
fer Hank Bitters and moral methods?”
cried a red-bearded enthusiast.
“The hull ticket’ll be boat.” replied
the party addressed; “I’ll be banged
ef I do ! ’
And then the intelligent British
tourist drew out his tablet and wrote
—“Note: In America, after ah elec¬
tion. the friends of the defeated can
didate are taken out and lynched.”
THOSE LOVERS.
They had been engaged, but now
were suffering from oue of tho§e quar
rels which sometimes ruffle the course
of true love.
They had not spoken for three days,
i and neither wished to be the first to
yield.
But with the hankering which af¬
flicts murderers and lovers with refer¬
ence to the scene of the late unpleas¬
antness, he called at th*’ house on a
trumped-up business mission to her
father.
By chance (?) she answered his ring
at the door.
Gathering himself, he, w-ith a cold,
slow voice, begins tho following dia
logue:
He— ~ “Does Mr. Dudley reside here ?”
She—“He does.”
He—“Is he in'?”
She—“He is not.”
He—“Will lie be in soon ?”
She—“He will.”
He—“Thank you ; I will call again.”
(Turns to go.)
She—“Excuse me, who shall I sav
called?”—Life.
Fleet-Footed Zebras.
The rapidity with which the different
zebras have been exterminated, owing
to the advance of civilization iu South
Africa, is shown by reference to such
works as that of Sir Cornwallis Harris,
written in 1840, in whioh the author
tells us that the quaggawas at the time
found in “interminable herds,” bauds
°f many hundreds being frequently
seen, while he describes Bvtrehell’s
zebra as congregating in herds of
eighty or one hundred, and abounding
to a great extent; but now, after the
expiration of but fifty years, the one
species is extinct or practically so,
while the other has been driven much
further afield and its numbers are
yearly being reduced.
This author’s description of the
common zebra is well worth repeating,
He says: “Seeking the wildest aud
most sequestered spot, haughty troops
are exceedingly difficult to approach,
as. well on account of their extreme
agility and fleetness of foot as from
the abrupt and inaccessible nature of
their highland abode, Under the
special charge of a sentinel, so posted
on some adjacent crag as to command
a view of every avenue of approach,
the checkered herd whom ‘painted
skins adorn’ is to be viewed perambu¬
lating some rocky ledge, cn which
the rifle ball alone can reach them.
No sooner has the note of alarm been
sounded by the vidette than, pricking
their long ears, the whole flock hurry
forward to ascertain the nature of the
approaching danger, and, having
gazed a moment at the advancing
hunter, helter-skelter whisking their brindled tails
aloft, away they thunder
down craggy precipices and over
yawning ravines, where no less agile
foot could dare to follow them.”
OfBurchell’s zebra he says : “Pierce,
strong, fleet, and surpassingly beauti¬
ful, there is, perhaps, no quadruped
in the creation, not even excepting
the mountain zebra, more splendidly
attired or presenting a picture of more
singularly attractive beauty. ” Zebras
are by no means amiable animals, and,
thoug many of the stories told of their
ferocity are doubtless much ex
aggerated, they have so far not proved
themselves amenable to domestication,
York Journal.
Electric Dog-Carts Next.
In all probability it will not be long
before the city man will “tool down”
to his office from his country or sub
urban residence on an electric dog
cart. The seat of the vehicle will
hold all the motive power he needs,
stored electricity, and he will be in
the enjoyment of a placid sense of in
dependence. For some time an elec
trie dog-cart has been in constant use'
in the neighborhood of Brighton,
England, and now- the French have
followed suit by starting electric phae
tons. The hind wheels are driven by
an endless chain gearing and an elec
trie motor, fed by storage batteries.
These and the motor are contained in
the body of the carriage, which is
controlled from the front seat by
switches and brakes. One charge of
th e batteries serves for a journey of
forty-two miles at a speed of ten miles
ar > hour. The Parisians evince much
interest in the appearance in the
streets of the city of the new vehicle,
and it is likely to become popular,—
Chicago Record.
Birds are Mathematicians.
The English naturalist, Morrit
Gibbs, devoted years of study to birds’
nes ts, their formation and their con
tents, and asserts that birds lay their
eggs in accordance with geometrical
Kies, so that every inch of space i*
used to the greatest possible advau
tage. Birds which lay many eggs ar
range them in circles, the pointed end*
turned to the inside, Others, whoso
eggs are ellipticallv shaped, placu
them in longitudinal rows. If an eg£
is moved out of its original position
by an intruder, it will be found on th"
following morning that the bird ha*
returned it to its first position.
Among the numerous and often diffi
cult cases which Gibbs made a matter
of study, not one was found that would
not do credit to a mathematician, —
New York Witness, I
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS,
A CLEANING FI.no.
A cleaning fluid for men’s clot%es
that the housewife will find valuable
consists of one pint of deodorized ben¬
zine, one-half drachm sulphuric ether,
one-half drachm chloroform one
drachm alcohol, and a very little good
cologne. If it is used for cleansing
coat collars and outside garments, ap¬
ply with an old piece of soft black silk.
For neckties—and it can bo used oil
those of light colors as well as black—
apply with a piece of white silk. In
washing soiled black good put a table
spoonful in a gallon of warm water.
Twenty or tweutv-five cents will pay
the druggist for a q.art bottle of the
mixture. The fluid is vouched for by
Miss Helen Johnson of the cooking
school fame.—New York Post.
TO FOOT STOCKi'Jus.
Here is a good way to foot stockings.
Taking the worn-out sock, fold it on
the seam, and where the heel iuergeo
into the leg begin to cut, and keeping
half way between the two edges, cut
off the under parr, thou cut open the
heel’seam, and, spreading out tho part
(*at away from the stocking, make a
paper pattern : rom which to cut out it
new bottom of cloth. Fold this to¬
gether in the middle and stitch to¬
gether the rounded edges for a new
heel, then, unfolding, stitch the new
bottom into the stocking, holding the
vormer toward you, as on account of
die room for seam and shrinkage,
which of course, was allowed iu cut¬
ting the pattern, it will be larger than
the stocking. Woolen or cotton stock¬
ings past wearing should not be thrown
away, as often one pair is useful in
mending a no t h or.
TO CLEAN CARPETS AT HOME.
It is often the case that accidents
happen when one is far away from a
cleaner's, or when perchance the car¬
pet may not be worth the expense of
the professional services, but would be
extremely useful if put in good order.
A simple and effectual means of clean¬
ing is to rip the breadths apart, if tho
carpet is large ; take one breadth at a
time over a common kitchen table or
wide board and scour with prepared
soapsuds, if necessary, or naptha. If
that substance is to be used, scrub the
carpet thoroughly with an ordinary
scrub brush. If the washing is done
with soapsuds, it is well to rinse the
carpet thoroughly, which may be done
by throwing on pailfuls of water aud
scrubbing it out with the brush to rid
the fabric of the suds as nearly as may
be. If the carpet shows symptoms of
fading, or if the colors threaten to
r un, it is quite worth while to go over
it again and again with the brush and
with soft cloths and remove the water
as rapidly as possible, meanwhile hav¬
ing the broad table tipped at an angle
so as to allow all surplus water to
drain away as quickly as it can. This
is rather slow work and hard work;
but if well done, the result will be a
carpet entirely cleaned, perfectly
wholesome and quite good enough for
an upper room or for the rugs and
pieces that are required in every
house. —New York World.
S: * rtWr-F :
RECIPES.
Coffee Bolls—Work into-ft quart of
bread dough a rounded tablespoonful
of butter and half a teacup of white
sugar; add some dried currants (well
washed and dried in the oven), sift
some flour and sugar over them, work
into the dough thoroughly, make into
small, long rolls, dip them into melted
butter, place in the pan, let it rise a
short time and bake.
Celery Cream Soup—Boil a small
cup of rice in three pints of milk un¬
til it will pass through a sieve. Grate
the white portion of tw-o or three
heads of celery on a bread-grater ; add
this to the rice milk after it has been
strained; put to it a quart of strong
w-hite stock ; let boil until celery is per¬
fectly tender; season with salt and
cayenne and serve. If wanted rich,
substitue one pint of cream for the
same quantity of milk.
Oyster Patties—One pint of small
oysters, one cupful of cream, a large
teaspoonful of flour, salt and pepper
to taste. Bring the cream to a boil in
the double boiler, mix the flour with
a little cold milk and stir into the boil¬
ing cream, seasoning with salt and pep¬
per. Bring the oysters to a boil in
their own liquor, skim and drain off
the liquor. Add the oysters to the
cream, boil up once, fill the patty
shells and serve very hot.
Glazed Turnips—Select smallish,
even-sized turnips; wash, pare and
drain, then set them close together in
a pan and cover with rich broth. Boil
until tender. Remove the turnips,
add a pinch of sugar to tho broth and
boil to evaporate until it becomes a
glaze or thick jelly-like cream, taking
care, of course, that it does not burn.
Return the turnips to the pan and
shake, so as to coat them thoroughly,
and serve hot. Parsnips are very nice
cooked in the same way.
Creamed Onions—Peel in a bowl of
water and there will be little to annoy
in the process. Boil in plenty of salted
water, and unless the onions are very
mild it is well to change the water
when parboiled. When very tender
drain thoroughly and add from an¬
other saucepan a cream sauce, made
by rubbing together a tablespoonful
of butter with one of flour, and when
well cooked adding gradually a pint
of rich milk. Let the onions simmer
gently in this sauce for ten minutes,
then dish with butter, salt and pepper
to taste.
Baked Chowder—This makes a nice
dish for lunch, and may be made from
pieces of cold boiled fish, left over.
Cut some good sized, cold boiled pota¬
toes into dice. Pick into shreds
sufficient cold cooked fish to make one
pint. Make one pint of cream sauce.
Chop one onion fine, also one table¬
spoonful parsley. Pat a layer ol
sauce in the bottom of a baking dish,
then a layer of fish, one of potato,
a sprinkliug of salt, pepper, onion
and parsley. Bo continue until dish is
full, having the last layer sauce.
Sprinkle with crumbs aud bake in a
moderate oven twenty minutes.
Colonel Henry Lee is the author ol
the mot, “It is but three generations
in this country from shirt sleeves to
shirt sleeves”—the happy coinage of a
conversation with Edwin Atkinson as
they were walking home from church
in BrookliDe. ______
HERITAGE.
A lily raised its spotless head
Proudly above Its natal bed. #
A thing of beauty fair to see,
In all Its peerless purity.
A wanton bee, 'tween honeyed sips
Trailed venom o’er the waxen Ups.
A straying bird by fear opprest,
Sought shelter in the lily's breast.
An idle breeze in sportive play.
Twisted the stem and sped away.
Thus wrecked it bowed its tortured head
Aud sank into its natal bed.
“That which ve sow, ye reap,” 'tis said—
Another lily lifts its head—
A dwarfed, misshapen, mottled thing
Blooms with the coming of the spring.
—14. T. Hollands, in Detroit Free Press.
PITH AND POINT.
A combination look—Wedlock.
Having quite a boom—The Brazilian
cannon.
A practical joke-—The oue the editor
accepts.
Time is tho sort of money with
which we pay visits.— Truth.
“I’ll speak my mind .' This was the threat
From chappie that wo heard. *
And then the dear boy sat aud sat
And never said « word.
—Washington star.
Does anybody deny that the clergy
nro members of the surplice popula
tiou ?
The peace of Europe depends very
much on what piece is wanted,—
Truth.
There is vcrsou in all things; but
there doesn't seem to be in all people.
—Puck.
Ail laborers, no matter how steady
or healthy, are compelled to have their
week time.
Label a man as dangerous and most
girls of sixteen see a halo around his
head. — Atchison Globe.
The man who is able to fight his own
battles in the world is not always able
to stand a victory.—Puck.
He who never kicks is quite liable
to become something of a foot-ball
himself.—Oil City Blizzard.
He named his laying her. Macduff,
And whoa at early dawn
She cackled loud, ho cried in glee,
“Lay Macduff, Jay on.’ -
on, —Detroit Free Press.
The lack of money is the root ot
most evils, my sou. Don’t let a
proverb lead you by the nose.—
Truth.
Boggy pie is mentioned as one of the
causes of dyspepsia, One of the causes
of soggy pie is young married women.
—Texas Siftings.
Tf the self-made man only served an
apprenticeship iu that sort of manu¬
facture, his job might be turned out
more smoothly.—Truth.
Jillsou, who sat near oue the other
night, says the only thing reserved
about a theatre party is tho seat each
member occupies.—Buffalo Courier.
Bings—“Whiner didn’t say any¬
thing when Knox mashed his hat.”
Bangs—“How could he? That’s what
he talks through.”—Life s Calendar,
Have you ever closely watched
What a large amount of honej*
Is spread upon lo the speech of Mm"
Who wants borrow money?
—Detroit Free Press.
Herdso—“When you get to be a
man, are you going to be a lawyer,
like your papa ?” Dick Hicks— “Nope;
going to be a good one.”—Brooklyn
Life.
Tramp—“Please, mum, have you
any cold vittles.” Housekeeper—“I
am very sorry to say that everything
is hot.” (Slams the door.)—New York
Weekly.
Willy Weakly—“Cawn’t yon find
anything that will occupy ina mind?”
Doctor—“Sir, the possibilities of.
microscopy are limitless.”—Detroit
Tribune.
Visitor —- “You have some tine
scenery about your home, Mrs. Chee
priche.” Mrs. Cheepriche (compla¬
cently)—“Yes ; we always get the best
of everything.”—Chicago Record.
Dr. Emdee - “Your trouble, my dear
madam, seems t:> be with the liver.”
Mrs. Blimdiet—-“I don’t see how that
can be; my boarders don’t complain,
and I never eat it.”—Brooklyn Life.
Twixt mammon and mamma and maiden
My row is a hard one to hoe, maiden
For mammon and mamma and
Respectfully answer me “No.”
—Detroit Free Press.
“I suppose you have been shopping
all day again,” slid Mr. Snaggs to his
wife, at the supper table. “And I
suppose you have been bucket-shop¬
ping again,” retorted she.—Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Bad Boy (gleefully) — “I had the
earache this morning. ” Good Boy—
“What good is that?” Bad Boy—
“Me mother‘put cotton in me ears
aud now I don’t hear ’er when she
calls,”—Good News.
“I can understand why Father Time
is represented as old, but why do they
always picture him as lean and
skinny?” “It is because everybody
seems to want all the spare time he can
get.”—Chicago Tribune. iAr
The really wise man is the
v’bo knows what will be unpopular tre
fore the great, flat-footed public
jumps on it. It may also be remarked
parenthetically that he is mighty
scarce. —Canajoharie Radii.
Mrs. Goslick—“Aren't you almost
ready, Henry?” Mr. Goslick—“No;
this razor is as dull as a hoe.” Airs.
G. — “How strange ! It cut beautiful¬
ly when I sharpened my pencil with
it this morning.”—Brooklyn Life.
“There’s no such word as fail ' cried he,
With hopeful animation.
The other sighed, “You ought to see
My last examination. ”
— Washington 8tar.
Doctor—“Do you think you could
scheme some way to induce Robbie
to lie down and sleep every after¬
noon? ’ Mother—“Yes. indeed; I’ll
make a lot of new sofa pillows and sav
I don’t want them used.”—Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
“Is the editor in chief in?” asked a
stranger, as he sauntered into the city
reporter's room at 8 o’clock in the
morning. “No, sir,” replied tho
janitor kindly; “he does not come
down so early. Is there anything I
can do for you ?” ‘ ‘Perhaps so. Are
you connected with the poetical de¬
partment of the paper?” “I am, sir.”
“Oil, what do you do?” <4 I empty
the waste Baskets. «h\” --Texas Sift*