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(I
IN THE VALLEY. !
,
ro-dn? when tho sun wn« lighting my house |
on the pini’-clad hill ;
The breast of a bird was ruffled as it perched
oo my window sill,
Vad a leaf was chased by the kitten on the
breeze-swept garden walk,
And the daintv head
Of a dahlia red
Was stirred on Us slender stalk.
Oi:, happy the bird at tho rose tree, nnheed- !
Ing the threatening storm !
And happy the blithe leaf chaser, rejoicing
In sunshine warm!
Pkejr take not thought for the morrow—they
know no fare to-day;
And the thousand brinjcT thin?-*
That the future
Aro a blank to such as they.
<hit I. by the household ingle, ean interpret
tin looming clouds,
or th» wind, *soo-l>ooV through tho key
hole, and a shadow tho houso on
shrouds;
tnd I know I must quit my mountain and
go down to the vale below,
% For rny houso is chill
On tho windy hill
When tho autumn tempests blow.
Mv mind if forever drawing an instructive
parallel
I'wixt temporal thine?) that perish and
eternal things that dwell
Wbi-n billow and wav** surround me and
waters my soul o’erflow,
I descend in hope
I rom the mountain top
•To the sheltering vale below.
' K ° down to the Valley of Silence, where
the worldly are never met •
I know ihere is-i,aim and healing” therefor
ey. « that with team are wet:
\ad I imd mts sweet seclusion gentle seiaoe
lor all my car...
ror Unit valley pure
with its shelter sure
h the beautiful Vale of Prayer.
“Chambers’s Journal.
The Doctor's Confession.
BV THOMAS WINTHUor HALL
E were sitting
around the fire
in tho reading
room o f the club,
when Dufferin,
whose only OC2U
pution in life is
ij^L,. extracting good
stories from other
'men (thanks to a
provident and de
•eased uncle), asked the Doctor for
a story. None of us hud ever heard
the Doctor tell n story, ho we mentally
concluded that Dufferin had made a
mistake. It was quite surprising to
the rest of us, too, for Dufferin was
the most careful and conscientious ex
tractor of stories, reminiscences, and
personal experiences in the club. The
Uuloncl raised his fine gray eyebrows
rather inquiringly, tho Professor
coughed slightly, aud I must confess
that I frowned distinctly at Dufferin.
I was surprised at Ids calmness. If thc
Doctor bored us Dufferin would full iu
our estimation to au extent that neith¬
er lie nor any of us cared to contem¬
plate. Jt was quite a critical state of
affairs.
Tho Doctor was gazing blankly into
the file. He was the jolliest listener
<u the world, and young in spite of
lus sixty years. But he was quite a
^qop TTu.ked i\ snnply <• a a ridiculous, oi n- trihng, nml he
half-lost as
h. was m the capacious seat and dark
•shadows of tin. great club-chair. We
hela our breath, and, for one, I am
sure I trembled with apprehension.
Tho Doctor peered around from
either arm of his chair aud glanced
carefully at the room.
“I observe,” said lie with a ealmuess
that restored our couildence'to a slight
extent, “that yon are all largo men
save myself. Therefore I will make a
confession rather than tell a story.
I would not dare to touch upon the
subject if there were another moderate
sized man present, for he might be
suticiently larger than myself. Yes;
it is a confession. For all I know. I
once committed an act that might
have put me behind prison bars for a
good long period.
“You none of you know the extent
to which a small man suffers from his
physical inferiority. I’ll wager that
Napoleon envied Murat’s immense
size, in spite of tho fact that the lat¬
ter was merely one of the Emperor’s
humblest tools. It is the same with
all of us. We all know that we have
threo or four times the brain power
that you big men have—’hem, don't
•hoot, gentlemen—but there is no use
ui concealing, or at least iu denying
the fact that we small men envy you
large^oues iho Professor m tho would possession call of kinetic what
your
energy—your mass multiplied by the
square of your velocity. As I have
grown, I will not say old but older,for
I still consider myself standing on the
threshold of life, I have begun to ap
preeiate the compensations of nature,
ami I now can look at a large man, as
he lumbers up the street, or flops into
>i chair iike an overgrown bag of malt,
with a feeling akin to pity. But in
my youth, or rather in my mewling
infancy (say when I was about twenty
five years of age) my disparity in size
caused me the keenest mortification,
L’his mortification would result in a fit
of anger when some well-meaning
small man would refer to the story of
Duvul and Goliath and point with
pride to the fact that small rneu usu
ally ‘got there just the same’, I have
never had any respect for this David,
That business of using a sluug-shot
was as unfair as it would be to put a
Hotchkiss gun in thc pitcher s box in
a ball game. It makes my blood boil
to think that David did not go out and
thrash him with his bare knuckles, for
lam quite sat i- tied that Goliath in
tended to tight, fair and square ‘Mar
qms of Queen bury' rules, just like any
°ther man who is not a gentleman.
“Well, when I was about twenty
u\t 1 had, li) dint ot hard word and
gmod luck iu having hung out my
shingle in a particularly unhealthy
neighborhood, arrived at a condition
when I might indulge my pocket-book
m what I may call the anti-fattening
process to a certain extent. In other
words, J could afford to take an after
noon and a five-dollar bill off for a
pleasure-jaunt onca iu a while. In
deed,T had begun to rend poems about
domestic bliss and occasional love
storus. But before I could permit
myself to think of marrying 1 de
ter wined to get, once for all,
THE MONROE ADVERTISER, FORSYTH. GA-. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1894.-EIGHT PAGES.
onghly even with the absurd race of
big men. I had a scheme which I ha<l
worked ont very thoroughly. I was
going to completely humiliate some j
great brute of a man, and I was going
to do it without the aid of a weajton of
anv description, I provided myself
with a pair of shears—”
“Weapons?” suggested the Colonel. j
“Not at all,” answered the Doctor;
“instruments of torture, I slipped
th ' ;m into tb * ]*»<*«* ™y overcoat
and rode down to the Bowery in a |
Third avenue car. I was in a com- j
placent mood. The night was clear, j
the air crisp with just. a suggestion of
a downfall of snow, Aou know what
such a night means on the Bowery,
A11 tli « anillual spirits of those animals
down there are at the boiling point of
exhilaration. When I was quite well |
down the Bowery 1 left the car and j
began searching in the saloons for my
man. It did not take me long to find
him. He had just cleaned out a saloon
(driven the inhabitants of the place I
out. I mean, and pommeled the bar
keeper until the latter was willing to
buy him off at any price) when I en
tered. I treated him. I treated him
again- I became his confidant—his
fast friend. I let him know that I had
money and that ray main object in life
was see *^at he had a royal time
it that evening. In this way I sue
ceeded iu luring him to a hotel that
had previously selected aud where I
had had engaged engaged a a room room for the night.
(ince in the room I proceeded to make
things as comfortable as possible for
him—and incidentally for myself, for
by this time he was beginning to get
again. J accomplished
this by keeping the table between us
and a bottle of champagne on it,
which I begged him not to spill. He
had as much respect for a bottle of
champagne as though he had been
better born, and I succeeded. He was
still quite sober when I asked him if
he knew anything about poisons.
“‘Naw,’ he answered, after a few
moments of contemplation, as though
he were wondering why in the world
1 should ask such a question as that.
‘Naw ; nutliin cept rat poison. Why?
“ ‘Oh,’ J answered, as delicately as
possible, ‘merely because I am a doc
tor aud know a great deal about them.
You see I have made a special study of
them.’
i t i Well, Doc.’ he asked in a few mo
ments, ‘what has that got to do with
it? Gimme some more fizz and be
quick about it, I tell you, or I’ll run
me Angers in yor eyes and hang ’em
0,1 me watch-chain. ’
• y ou know, I continued pour
ont tho champagne, ‘that there is
a certain violent poison which does
not act on the stomach as long as the
person who has swallowed it remains
perfectly still, but which is absolutely
fatal if that person makes a single vio
lent motion—for instance, such a mo
tiou as rising from, a chair, or striking
another person, or even uttering t*.
ornate an oath?'
“ ‘Wliat are yer driving at, growled
m V burly guest.
“ ‘Simply this,’ I 'answered, ‘that I
would advise you to remain as still as
you possibly ... can, tor . -r, I have given • you
a dose of that poison in one of these
glasses of champagne in the last one
in tact.
“But,” interrupted the Colonel,
“you had agreed, as it were, with your
self that you would not use a weapon.
Now poison, m my opinion, would be
weapon.
W«iit:a moment, said the Doctor.
“Well, 4 the wretch was the. moot fright
«ned man I have oven seen in my life
He sat in his chair, perfectly rigid. 1
almost believe he was afraid to talk for
ajtime. uihd. But the suspense was too
‘Yer ain’t goin’ to kill a feller
what’s doin’ yer no harm, are yer?’ he
asked so plaintively that I almost
laaghed in his face,
“‘No,’I answered, ‘keep perfectly
fi t*lh ai >d when it thoroughly pleases
me I will give you a simple emetic that
"ill save your life. Bo careful; do
n °i ; m t>vo or it will be beyond my
power to do so.’
“‘What’dyer do it fur?’ he asked,
breathlessly.
“ ‘Because,’ I answered, ‘I wanted a
lock of your hair. I have a particular
fondness , . for , hair , . of , the ,, color . of ,
yours
and I am going to have just about half
ot all that you have, including half of
your mustache, winch, I will admit, is
a perfectly splendid one.’ With this
I approached him, at the same time
drawing from my pocket my pair of
shears.
“‘All right, go ahead, Doc. ’ he said,
trembling from head to foot; ‘but, as
yer love yer fellow-man what has got
or wife and family ter support, don’t
wiggle me er that poison will work.’
“I do not think I ever collected a
long-standing bill from a rich but for
getful patient with one-half the satis
faction that I enjoyed in clipping off
half the hair aud half the mustache of
that man who but a few moments be
fore had been threatening to gouge
out my ej'es. I laughed, I sang, I
danced a jig, and then rolling the hair
up in a wad I showed it in mv pocket,
I finished oft’ the remainder of the
champagne. Then I walked to the
window and threw it open. We were
iu a room on the third floor, and the
window opened on a fire escape that
reached almost to the ground. I
lifted one leg over the sill quite non
chalantly.”
“But 1 say. my dear Doctor,”
j rupted the Colonel again, “you were
| not playing fair. You were in reality
using a weapon, and a mighty danger
j ousone. The poor fellow had no show
j at “Wait all.” moment,” replied the Doc
; a
tor. You wish me to be too abrupt,
j But to continue, when the fellow saw
j me do this he uttered a howl of terror.
‘“Yer ain’t a-goiu' ter leave me,
Doe; yer ain't a-goiu ter leave me
here ter dye, are ver?’
: “-You are in no danger,’ I an
j swered. ‘Good-evening.’
-“ ‘But the poison?’ he asked.
Ion have tascen no poison, I re
i>lied. ‘While you have been with me
this evening you have swallowed noth
ing more harmful than champagne!'
At first he did not seem to eompre
heud, but in a moment he bounded
from his chair with an oath aud made
! for me, I departed.”
••But, my dear Doctor,” asked the
Professor, “how did you manage to
make your escape from him?”
“Well,” answered the Doctor, dry
ly, “I took advantage of one of the
compensations of nature. A small man
can skip down a fire-escape much wore
quickly than a large man. Besides, I
had a start. In fact. I was bowling
away in a cab that I had previously
engaged, before he was half-way
down. ”
“But,” I a*ked, “have yon never
been troubled by him since? Has he
never hunted you up?”
“I have reason to believe he has
not,” answered the Doctor, “In fact,
if he had, I am afraid I would not bo
here to-night to tell the story.
Frank Leslie’s Weekly.
Haw a Living Mummy.
In the Coruhill Magazine a writer
thus records a visit to an Egyptian
domicile situated upon the Nile: “We
went into the hut after some hesita
tion (the dragoman whispered there
were -ladies’ there;, and found a vig
orou8 old man telling his Mussulman
beads cross-legged on a mud bench,
a nd on the floor bent over the fire the
oldest looking human being 1 ever saw
olive. Mummies I have seen, and
wondered not that they were dead,
but in what part of her withered, des
sicated frame that old woman found
space to keep the stern vital energies
that lined her grim, carved face I can
scarcely guess. She looked no more
living than seaweed does, dried and
stretched on paper.
Hj “Her arms, her limbs (thrust almost
j u to the fire) were so shrunk that the
long leathern flesh and flaccid muscles
hung round them like dangling shreds
on sticks. Round her neck were beads
G f woo d, and round her wrists leath
e rn bracelets (though, to be sure, I
cannot feel certain they were not folds
of skin), ami on her face lurked not
only lines but gullies and passages,
they seemed so deep and fallen. But
f or the occasional upturned glance of
her cold unquestioning eye I could not
have supposed her anything else than
one of the earliest and best preserved
Q f the remotest queens of Egypt.
“The old man gave us lusty wel
come, and sent for milk and dates and
filled our pockets. He showed us his
Jong Bpear that hung against the wall,
aU( j told me with a proud gesture that
he had often killed his man, but more
often with a sword, and taking me by
the shoulder, showed me fiercely how
he used to do it. He was ninety years
old, and had never been farther from
home than Assouan, and then only
once. All his sons sat and stood
around us, and in the background
against the mud granary white teeth
glimmered, and the broad, black faces
of the women shone. I asked him
! what present he would like, and he
.
i as ] ce d for a little rice and a little cof
j f ee All the time he clutched and
fi Q g e red his Moslem rosary, which,
when I admired it, he wanted me to
accept, The son came back w ith us
to the dalibeah and carried off the'
co ff ee and rice in envelopes, to which
j added a handful of cigarettes and a
j COU ple of oranges, with particular in
junctions that one was to be given to
the old gentleman.”
-----— --- ----
Bumblebees Destroyed by Field Mice.
It is reckoned that two-thirds of the
bumblebees in Great Britain are de
i stroyed by field mice The latter eat
j .
'
the h stored away by those in
j and so starve them. Now. it is
literally true that any one who kills a
cat is upsetting the natural balance of
life to an extent which will nave au
unfavorab i e effect on the produetive
uebS of garden an d fie ld. Pussy’s
death permits more mice to live.
Th wipe out the bumblebee*, on
, j whicll clovei . ftU q manv other plants
absolnte ] y depend for their fertiliza
tion. In the absence of the bumble¬
bees these plants do not ripen seed,
and thus the next crop is affected.
Herodotus, the father of history,
tells an odd story of the invasion of
Egypt and Judea by Sennacherib,
king of Assyria. The army of that
monarch was assailed by swarms of
mice, which-“poured in upon the sol¬
diers, devouring their quivers, bow
strings, and the leather handles of
their shields, Bereft of arms, they
fled iu disorder, and great numbers of
them were killed.” This event was
commemorated by a statue of the
! Egyptian ruler with a mouse in his
j hand.
A T ery nearly related to the field mice
j are the i emtu iugs, which are in their
| wav amon the most rem arkable ot
animals . They are about fi ve inches
long, with very short tails. Dwelling
in the highlands of the great central
mountain chain of Norway and Swe¬
den, they build their nests of straw,
lined with hair, under stones and tus
socks of grass. They are very pugna
j cions. When disturbed instead of
trving to escape they sit upright,
liissiug and showing fight. Certain
cultivated districts of Sweden and
Norway, where these ereatures are or
dinarily unknown, are occasionally, at
intervals of from five to twenty-years,
overrun by armies of them,* which
steadily and slowly advance, always in
the same direction, regardless of all
obstacles, swimming across streams
anJ even lakes several miles in
breadth, and committing great devas
tation. In turn they are pursued and
i harassed by crowdsof beasts and bird
j of prey, such as bears, wolves, foxes,
wildcats, weasels, eagles, hawks and
owls. Even domestic animals, cattle,
j j goats Washington and reindeer Star. join in the hunt.—
Olff-Fasliioueil Molasses
Old-fashioned molasses, the genu
j i ne , dark-brown, saccharine, delicious
adjunct of the corn pone and the slap
ba s become a scarce article of late
vears, and is likely to become scarcer
; still. In fact, the old-time molasses
j s scarcely produced nowadays, for. as
su^ar-making machinery is improved
the production of sugar increased,
the quantity and quality decreases,
Manv planters can remember the day
when, to separated the sugar from the
molasses, the boded cane juice was
placed in barrels bored full of holes;
the mo i asses drained out and the sugar
remained in the barrel. The eentrifu
^ <>' a j machinery now in use separates
, he sugar ^ thoroughly that but little
mo lasses. and that of poor quality, is
j e f b _Chicago ____°__-- Herald.
___
j l u the eighty-e : ght years from 1800
to 1888 the world mined 7942 tons of
gold, 95,559 of silver, S4,900,000 of
copper, 34,600,000 of lead, 31,500,000
of zinc, 1,430,000 of tin, 1,273,000,
000 of iron and 10,601,000,000 of coal,
1 G’icero was a notable punster. A
collection, not now extant, of his puns
1 was made by Juii u* Caesar,
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
—
He Was Equal to the Occasion—In
compatibility—Coming Eminence
—He Doubted Not — Casus
Belli, Etc., Etc.
What hours of happiness I spent
That day behind the speedy span.
When joyfully I sleighing went
With Sarah Ann.
The lovelight sparkled in her eve.
Her eheoks glowed with crimson tint
She took the reins from me. and I—
I took the hint.
—New York Press.
COMING EMINENCE.
*‘I hear how your brother Teddy is
gettin’ up in pol’ties.”
“Yep. He don’t do no work iio
more at all. ’’—Chicago Record.
INCOMPATIBILITY.
. •Miss .... „ Nelson , complained _ . , tlnu t you
talked to her of nothing but the
weather.
4 4 Well, that's all we had in common.
-Life.
HE DOUBLET* NOT.
Scientific Barber—“It is hard to be
iieve that when examined under a
microscope the edge of a razor is seen
to have teeth like those of a saw.”
Writhing but Sarcastic Customer—
“Is it?”—Life.
ALL EXPLAINED.
Mrs. Clinker—“Mrs. Kingley says
her baby is a perfect little angel.”
Clinker—“That’s what Kir.gley
meant the other day when he said he
added a new pair of wings to his
house. ”—Truth.
TAKING NO CHANGE?.
“What ye lookin’ fur?” asked Plod
lino- Ppfp
t < Work,” replied Meandering Alike.
“What fur?”
“Bo’s I kin see it fust, an’ dodge.
—Washington Star.
A WISE ACT.
Yokes—“We have at last secured a
cook who will stay with us. ”
Carson—“Nonsense!”
Yokes—“Not at all. I took her on
the recommendation of the policeman
on the beat.”—Truth.
CASUS BELLE
“Tommy,” said Airs. Figg, ’“what
on earth have you been fighting with
Jimmy Briggs for?”
“ ’Cause his mother called me a per¬
fect little gentleman,” said the incor
rible Tommy. ^-Indianapolis Journal,
MIGHT FALL IN LOVE WTTH SELF.
“Oh,” she cried, “if I could only
see myself as others see me ! ”
“It wouldn’t do, ” said he. “It would
make you too conceited.”
And then she smiled on him all the
rest of the evening.—Harper’s Bazar.
LEAVE NO CRUMBS.
Airs. Finis—“I’m as sick asl can,be,
just from eating these peanuts. ”
Finis—“WeBy why don’t you step
eating them ?’ ’
Mrs. Finis (iu amazement) —- “Stop ?
Why, I have more than half a bag left
yet!”—Puck.
A LAST DESPERATE CHANCE.
“Have you anything to say before
we eat you?” said the King of the
Cannibal isles to a Boston missionary.
“I have,” was the reply. “I want
to talk to you for a while on the ad¬
vantages of a vegetarian diet.
Harper’s Bazar.
NOT HEREDITARY.
* “Aly boy,” said Tompkins, “is the
most truthful little fellow that ever
lived.”
“I believe it,” said Hawkins, ‘ ‘I
have heard it said that the suppressed
qualities in the father always crop out
in the son.”—Harper’s Bazar.
JUDGED BY RESULTS.
She—“The Letters of Junius I re
gard as the most wonderful composi
tions in the language.”
He—“They don’t compare with Jack
Hardy’s. Why, he wrote a letter of
condolence to a widow, and she took
off her mourning immediately. ”—Life.
UE3EMBLANCE.
Airs. Yonnhus— ‘ ‘Yes, my dear. Just
like its father, is baby. Tiny little
nose, fat podgy hands, funny fafc
cheeks, beautiful bald head—isn’t
it?”
Airs. Hodgekins (with a glance at
Air. Younghus in the corner) — “Yes,
my sweet, very.”—Harper’s Bazar.
NICELY PUT.
Strawber—“I hear you proposed to
Miss Twilling the other night. Did
she give you an answer?”
Singerly—“Not till I came the next
night. ”
Strawber—“Then what did she
say ?”
Bingerlv—“Bhe told the servant to
tell me she was very sorry, but she was
already engaged.”—Judge.
PROFESSIONAL RETORTS.
Robert Smith (brother of Sydney,
and familiarity called Bonus) was a
lawyer and an ex-advocate general,
and happened on one occasion to be
engaged in an argument with a physi
cian touching the merits of their re
speetixe professions.
You must admit, urged Dr. ,
your profession does not make angels
jt f men.
was the retort; there you
have the best of it: yours certainly
gives them the hrst chance. ”—Sala’s
•Journal.
HAD BEEN TO THE FAIR.
“Now.” said the intrepid explorer,
after he had shown the guileless
native the inside workings of brass
watch and had noted his native won
der at the mysteries of the mechan
ism. “I will let you have one of these
for two tusks. Then you can be the
envy of the whole tribe.”
The native gentleman yawned.
“I traded a second-hand war club
for a bushel of those things when I
was at the World s Fair last summer,”
said he, “and there was not one of
them that ran for more than a week,
vour clothes?* -
WHERE JOKES CANNOT ENTER.
A certaiif Philadelphia gentleman
of more name than fame, was ordered
By his physician to travel for the
benefit of his health.
He went to England, and after tir
iuf? of bumping through London, he
decided to hire a trap and see the
beauties of interior England in digni¬
fied ease and luxury.
Just then he fell in with a hearty,
good-natured became Englishman, aud as they
6oon fast friends, the Ameri¬
can invited the other, to attend him on
his coaching trip.
The son of John Bull accepted,
and during the days of pleasure that
followed, each frequently and iu a jok
ing manner improved every occasion
to laud his own country aud express
his contempt of the other.
On the evening of the fourth day, a*
they were driving along a dusty road,
the American pulled the horses up
suddenly “To and began to read a sign:
Manchester twentv miles,” and
underneath were the words: “If you
read this sign apply for in
formation at the blacksmith shop. ”
“Well, I’ll be blamed!’ said the
American. “If that isn’t the most
ridiculous sign I ever saw !”
“I say, old man,” replied the
Englishman, “that sign is all right,
isn't it? I don’t see anything the mat
ter.”
“ You don't, eb ? Well, then, you just
j sleep over in and see what you think
in the morning.”
The next morning the Englishman
j c&me down beaming,
^ Sft y* °L1 man, he said wisely,
‘‘(hat was a funny sign to put up, for
4 ^ on * you see the blacksmith might
no * be in after all, you know. ’—Bos¬
ton Budget.
An Active Old Man oi 121.
{ ot theoU * e8t if
j * °iaest, men in America, > . lives m a very lit-
2? River ®!j antY at °“ Osage the bai City, J IiK ^ Mo. thc £ Be Bag - €
is
and named Richard Hoops.
According to the statements oi Hoops
w hich are well supported by accessi¬
ble records, he was bora iu Chatham
County, N. C., December 20, 1770, and
thus lacks less than a month of thc
completion of his 123d year. Born a
slave, he was taken to Missouri by his
owner, John P. Hayden, while a mere
boy. A few years later he was sold to
i the man whose name he now bears, and
lived with him near Vienna, Maries
County, until the emancipation of the
slaves. Since that time he has lived
at Westphalia, but for the last twenty
five years has made his home at Osage
City.
Hoops is remarkably well preserved,
and lives alone in his shanty. He
fishes a great deal for the big catfish
that frequent the waters of the Osage,
and is never happier than when he can
catch a big one and make soup of its
head. He is still able to do some
work, and it was only a few’years since
that he contracted with a farmer in
the vicinity of his home to remove
the stumps and roots off a newly
cleared tract offiand. He fulfilled his
contract, doing all the work himself.
His mind is still clear on many of the
events that happened toward the close
of the last century, and he recalls with
great pride that he once held the horse
of General Greene, of Revolutionary
fame. In appearance, Hoops resem¬
bles a mummy; his skin looks like
parchment, and he is toothless and
hairless, but his step is remarkably
firm, and his eye bright and clear.
As stated, he lives alone, having- no
relatives as far as known. He is a
member and regular attendant of the
African Alethodist Episcopal Church.
His neighbors take a great interest in
hil l, and do him many acts of kind¬
ness, and he would not have to work,
as they would supply his simple wants
gladly, but he is independent, and
; says that he intends to earn his own
living for many years yet. His house
stands under the approach to the Alis
SO uri Pacific Railroad Bridge across
the Osage, and, except when absent
on his fishing trips, “Uncle Hoops,”
as he is called, can be found at home.
! He has the record of his birth, and
1 there is but little doubt that ho is the
; oldest person in the country.—Cincin
; nati Commercial Gazette,
I ----"•»--
! Senses Keener Thau Moments,
: | Thoughtful and observant persons
do not need a demonstration that the
i senses are less keen in woman than in
man. Their own experience has re¬
vealed that natural law. But since
we are uot all thoughtful or observant,
the experiments of Professors Nichols
and Browne are welcome. These
American physiologists have begun to
experiment with the sense of smell.
They took four substances most strong¬
ly odoriferous—essence of clove, of
j garlic, of lemon and prussic acid.
Each of these they diluted with pure
water in a growing proportion, filling
a set of bottles at every degree of the
scale, until the last set represented
one part of the test substance to 2,
000,000 parts of waters. Then they
shuffled the bottles, so to speak, and
called in forty-four men and thirty
eight women, chosen from the various
ranks of life, all young and healthy.
These representatives of either sex
were instructed to rearrange the bot¬
tles, guided by the sense of smell, put¬
ting each set of tinctures by itself,
garlic with gar ij Cj lemon with lemon,
etc _ To put results shortlv. the women
[ '
*- ere not in it _ None of them coul( i
t race prussic acid beyond the dilution
of 20,000 parts to one, while most cf
the men traced it up to 100,000 parts,
I Three of the latter actually passed the
. extreme limit, identifying prussic acid
at a siDgle part in 2,000,000. Beyond
100,000 parts all the women failed tc
j recognize essence of lemon; all the
men detected it at 250,000. This
proportion represents their average
superiority all around.—Pall Alall
Budget.
He Loveil a Princess.
Before Princess May became the
bride of the Duke of York she had an
ardent admirer in the person of an er
j rand boy. He wrote her a letter de¬
! daring his affection, and the Princess
promptly handed the epistle over to
; her father. The Duke of Teck sent
j for the young lover and told him it
was unmanly conduct to propose to a
f girl unless he was prepared to support
her in the style to which she was Re¬
customed. Whereupon the lad with*
drew bis suit. —Chicago Herald,
ARIZONA GOLD.
PRIMITIVE MINING METHODS IN
REMOTE IMS I KK IS.
Mexican ami Half-breed Indian Pros¬
pectors Scour the Foot Hills -
The Use of the Lustre
atul Quicksilver.
P. U>. Arizona, leans, for McCOY. the says past is the now of Picayune, Oro iu and New Blanco. hall but Or
C> year a
las been in the mining district of tlie
Western Territory, where he is largely
interested in a gold mine. It is situ¬
ate.! eighty-five miles from Tucson,
the capital of the Territory, Tlw
camp is not far from the Mexican
border.
* *• t b quite a rough place,” sanl the
gentleman toa reporter. “It is located
in a seetiou of the Territory seldom
frequented by whit: men. 1 don’t*
suppose there is a place anywhere si
completely isolated from civilization.
Like many other mines which pay
now, it was fora long period after dis¬
covery left untouched. We have been
operating it almost without cessation
since we made the purchase, some
eighteen mouths ago. The gold I have
found during my residence there is
first rate, and is very accessible and
easily washed. Our only drawback
recently, or at any time, lias bqpu a
lack of water. There are two or three
wet seasons every year in that section,
and the streams are tilled sufficiently
to last from one season to another.
The season sometimes passes when nc
rain falls. Then the streams dry up
and the gold washing must, in a meas¬
ure, be relinquished. Some times it
rains very hard, and the streams are
swollen to a greater extent than they
ever rise in this section. The rocks
are deeply cut by the water, so strong
is the current resulting from the fall
of rain at periods. Just now we have
only been working half of our force,
on account of a lack of water.”
4 ‘How many men do you employ?”
“Generally we have about fifty men
at work washing and digging. They
are principally Mexicans aud half
breed Indians. Whoever they are,
one finds them a hardy set, with linea¬
ments as rough as tho mountains where
they live. ”
‘•Are there any other mining settle¬
ments in the neighborhood?” #
“No, there are none very close to
us, though the Mexican and half-breed
mine-hunters are scattered all over
the country. They search for gold
from one year’s end to another, travel¬
ing to and fro in the most unfre¬
quented parts of the mountains, living
a nomadic life. They never cease to
toil, but work incessantly. They find
rich mines very often. When they
are successful, they only work the
mine for a short time in order to live
by making each day’s labor pay for
itself, when they sell the find to capi¬
talists, who are always on the lookout
for them.
“When they strike a spot where
there are valuable deposits they erect
what is called a lastre. It is made by
building a circular wall of solid stone
two or three feet high and four or
five feet iu diameter. It resembles
the wall around the month of a well.
In the centre they plant a shaft or rod
several feet deep, making it as solid
as possible. From this they extend
horizontally and in different directions
two poles, or rods, to which they tie
heavy stones, flat on the bottom, of
equal sizes, and weighing 150 pounds,
more or less. These suspended stones
are balanced in a manner so that they
will almost touch the surface of the
top of the round wall, which is also
perfectly smooth. With this arrange¬
ment they grind up the stone which
contains the gold they find. They
first beat it into small pieces and then
they scatter it on the surface of this
round wall. A horse is hitched to a
lever and is made to pull the stones
around. It is operated on tho order
of a tread-mill. The suspended stones
rubbing against the rock containing
the particles of gold grind them up
fine. Quicksilver is thrown on the
crushed material and the gold is at¬
tracted so that it can be found in the
particles. The work goes on constant¬
ly, and these lastres are to be found
all over the mining territory. The
gold is taken from the soil by digging
down until rock is found. The forma¬
tion is caused by gold being washed by
the freshets from its original position
in the hills. It shifts down to the solid
ground and settles in the rock. The
diggings made are called placer mines.
One of these lastres can grind out
about $600 worth of gold dust in twe
months. They begin on a new 7 mine*
by setting up one of these unique ma¬
chines. They operate them until the
capitalist buys the find. They will
always sell out, because their business
is to search for mines rather than to
develop them. Developing a gold
mine is like every other speculative
enterprise, it involves very great risk.
“The natives are a peculiar people.
They speak a patois made up of the
Indian and Spanish languages. About
the camp from which I am just ar¬
rived there are some Aztecs, They
are very intelligent, The Yaque In¬
dians are the most valuable in the
Westsrn mining communities, because
they are the most reliable. How¬
ever, the country round about Oro
Blanco is about stripped of them at
present. There has been a general
exodus toward the scene of the con¬
test between Oachoa and the Mexican
Government south of the Rio Grande.
They have an inborn hatred of the
Mexican Government, and nearly
everyone in the lower part of the Ter¬
ritory has gone to join the revolution¬
ary band. They are brave fighters,
too.”
“What is the Mexican Boundary
Commission doing?”
“The survey between the United
.States, from El Paso to the coast, has
been completed, and the engineers are
now erecting the monuments. They
are so situated that a person standing
at one can see two others in opposite
directions. They are made of iron
and stone whenever the latter mater¬
ial is available. The iron monuments
are constructed principally in the
deserts, and are transported in pieces
to the locations on the backs of mules.
The commission has now a large force
at work and the, land-marks are being
rapidly constructed. It was a great
undertaking, anfi will cost many thou¬
sand dollars.”
WOMAN’S LOVE.
ter any coldness you hare shown
Here is your pardon, oh. my own —
by this my hand and sent made Laown.
For any want of loyalty
In days past you have shown icme,
I here absolve your penalty.
No matter who did win vour smit
What light o’ love your heart begun#,
I know you loved me all the while.
I know some day you’ll softly steal,
And. kneeling by my side, reveal
Toe deep regret and pain you fee!.
I only ask it may not be
When silently lips smile wistfully.
And waiting eyes no more may «>•*»
But if it should be so, my own.
bead pardon on that face of stone.
Jly Death's white solemn signet shown.
-Juliet Y. Strains, in Indianapolis Journal.
PITH AND POINT.
Gets in his work—The well digge l
-Truth.
A franc statement —A Pavia hotel
bill.—Truth.
Crossed in love—A great, many so¬
cial barriers.
The ordinary reformer is a man who
is too busy to work. *
The way of the transgressor is fre¬
quently macadamized.
* When prices fall they are bound to
knock down somebody under them. —
Truth.
One thing that can upset a settle 1
conviction is the Governor’s pardon.
—Truth.
A woman never admits she is
hungry. She says she ieels “faint.”
—Atchison Globe.
He who runs in debt generally finds
the only way out is to crau 1 out.—
Milwaukee Journal.
There are some friends who can't be
good to you unless you will let them
own you.—Atchison Globe.
Names are deceptive. A “masher”
and a “bruiser” are about as far apart
as Maine and Mendocino.—Puck.
Boarder—“Is this genuine vegetal*'©
soup?” Waiter—“Yes sir; fourteen
carrots fine.”—Rochester Democrat.
When a man helps his wife with her
work she has to drop what she is do¬
ing to wait on him.—Atchison Globe.
“I wonder why they call it the
‘editor’s easy chair?’ ” “Because he
sits on so many spring poets. ”—Puck.
A philosopher is a man who does
not try to argue with others until he
knowns he can down them.—Galves¬
ton News.
Many an orator proves that it is not
impossible to mix the oil of eloquence
with the water of a very weak argu¬
ment. —Puck.
Hinks—“Did they lower a boat
when he fell overboard?” Francis—
“No; they were busy lowering the
record. ”—Puck.
The child that is spoiled by harshness
isnever mentioned as a “spoiled child ;”
but this doesn’t prevent him from be¬
ing one.—Puck.
“Whelky’s verses always seem so
flat.” “That’s because every critic in
the country has sat down on them. ”—•
Chicago Tribune.
When a girl talks about a certain
young man being “perfectly horrid,”
it is time to look out for the cards. —■
Philadelphia Record.
“Their eburtship was full of ro*
mance, was it not?” “Very. Neither
one of them told the other the truth,” *
—Indianapolis Journal.
“I am now,” croaked the parrot,
reaching for its mistress’s costly bon¬
net; “about to put in a bill for dam¬
ages. ”—Chicago Tribune.
Teacher—“What was the significant
fact of Thomas Jefferson’s death on
the Fourth of July?” Bright Boy—
“That he missed the fireworks.”—
Life.
He—“But you didn't think my
oration was sopkomoric, did you?”
She—“No. On the contrary, I thought
it was rather ‘fresh.’ ”—Brooklyn
Life.
‘Banks, how are—’’ “Rivers, do
you know of any cure for a bad cold ?”
“None.” (With fervent gratitude)
“Rivers, your hand!”—Chicago Tri¬
bune.
Jinks—“Don’t you believe that
spirits are all moonshiue?” Filkins—
‘ ‘Oh, no ; some of them pay internal
revenue taxes.”—Kate Field’s Wash¬
ington.
Bridget—“Please ma’am, the mar¬
ket man has brought in a meat bill.”
Airs. Nuwife—“How stupid; it was
fish I ordered, I’m sure.”—Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
Handers—“Doctor, I’m getting so
nearsighted that I can’t recognize peo¬
ple on the street. What shall I do for
it?” The Doctor—“Umph ! Why not
pay your debts?”—Elmira Gazette.
“So he praised my singing, did he?”
“Yes, he said it was heavenly.” “Did
he really sav that?” “Well, not
exactly, but he probably meant that.
He said it was unearthly.”—Tit-Bits,
Blobbs—‘J like to hear Spouter
make a speech. He puts his whole
soul into it.” Blobbs —“He doesn’t
stop with his soul. He usually man¬
ages to put his foot into it. ”—Phila¬
delphia Record.
“I was surprised when I heard that
Grabrox had joined the church.” “I
wasn’t. I happened to be present
when he and his partner shook dice to
see which member of the firm should
join.”—Indianapolis Journal.
“He’s a very gentlemanly iookiug
ffl.au, it is true, and he is very polite,
but he beats his wife.” “Good
gracious!” “Yes, they play chess
every night together and he invariably
beats her.”—New York Press.
The Insane Cannot be Hypnoti zed.
Dr. S. G. McGarry, the new super¬
intendent of the Kansas Btate Iusme
Asylum, has instituted a series of hyp¬
notic experiments on the patients. As¬
sisted by Dr. Flint, who is skilled in
hypnotism, he made experiments on
twenty patients, taken at raudom, of
whom only two showed any symptom*
of suceptibility, and these were only
slight. Dr. Flint claims that insane
people t -not be hypnotized, and that
the hypnotic power can in no way af¬
fect incurables. Only those who aro
slightly affected ean os brought unite
its influence.—Detroit Free Press,