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THE MONROE
VOL XXXIX.
a (KMti.K soya.
fit ill the lake and still the field;
thill the feathery pine is;
W ould my sleep
t’ould Ih* as deep,
And as calm as thine is!
Child of i*artb and air ami sun,
Stir not in thy sleeping;
I Jest rent,
t)n nature hr«ast —
'I ru-t thee to Iter keeping!
l’"" er- of e/irt h and air and win,
Beneath, around, above thee,
Id**.id l heir charm
To ward off harm
All that lives must lovethee,
1 ,o. the gentle *prite* of spring
In homage kneel before thee,
< tr hovering
On silent wing,
Keep wilt eh fraternal o'er thee.
MMy t liev till fittend thy steps
Wlie'v-fie er thou guest;
Pure find fair
As snn find tiir
15e ft 11 I he love t holt k newest
til I (In: I ike. end 'ill i lie field;
St i I It he feat h* pirn* is.
Would my si
Gould he us i
A ml ns ealm as thine is!
1 \ t 'ant a (Joust it ntlun
TiasiGfs Private JIM.
W ben I was quite a young man I
countml among m** close friends a
private detective. The two of us were
enjoying a quiet smoke and chat in
bin cozy little office one day when
Hie do >r opened and his boy ushered
in a lady client. She was apparently
Ruder 2 <i, an I was quite fashionably
attired, I! t form was tall anil slen
der and her face exceedingly at true
f ive, hut bore traces of some sudden
and overwhelming affliction, for her
eyes wen* red with weeping.
Mr. Banks, the detective, I pro
Hume?" she queried, turning, after
® quick glance at me to my more
mature companion.
“At your service, madumo. Pray
bo seated.”
“I am in sore trouble, sir,” she
said, in tremulous tones, applying
her handkerchief to her eyes. “Death
has suddenly robbed mo of a father
and the prison, if nothing worse,
threatens to take a dear cousin from
me.”
“ Hint is very sad,” my friend said,
Bympat hot ii-ally. “ But compose
yourself, my dear young lady; wo
may yet avert the latter part of your
trouble.”
“Oh, sir! God grant that you may,
for my cousin, whom they suspect of
tin* murder of my poor father, was to
he my husband,” she said, the seri¬
ousness of the ease overcoming her
natural modesty. “But he is inno¬
cent, I know it, l feel it, in spite of
the evidence against him. Oh, be¬
lieve me, sir, Harry is as innocent of
this dreadful deed as I am.”
“My dear young lady,” said
Banks, encouragingly, “before hear¬
ing tlu* first detail of your ease 1 am
convinced that he is. My belief in
feminine intuitions is based upon the
solid foundation of experience. Be
calm, therefore, and let me have the
Stl u’y from the beginning.”
The circumstances she related
were ns follows; Her father, Thomas
Kempt on, was the proprietor of a
large furniture factory. He was a
man who paid strict attention to
business, and was iu the habit of
remaining in his office after the
factory had closed for the night and
the men hud departed, in order to
finish up his large correspondence.
One of the clerks in his employ
was » nephew, a tine young fellow,
st rong of body ami generous of heart,
but not free from t lie follies of youth.
llarry Stanton was a graduate of
college and a thorough athlete, and.
being yet scarce 2o, he had not out
grown Jiis youthful enthusiasm for
sports, clubs and scmi-incidentally
late suppers with the hoys.
Now , the old are not always so
tolerant of the ways of the young as
recollection should make them, and
so it happened that the frequent
transgressions of the uncle’s office
rules by tin* nephew caused between
tin two considerable friction. On the
evening of the tragedy there had
been quite a serious quarrel, and he
left the presence of his employer in
hot-headed haste and with angry
words.
One hour later and half an hour
after the factory had closed Mr.
Kcmpton had been found murdered
in his private office. He was seated
in his chair, his head falling forward
on the disk before him. A pocket
knife had been used to accomplish
t lie dastardly deed, and this lay on
the floor in a pool of blood at the
murdered man’s feet. On being
cleansed and examined the fatal
weapon was instantly recognized by
the clerks as young Stanton's.
There was no indication of astrug
, ,, t ,, blow , had , evidently .. . . been
gu*. ae
stru< K from behind and with uner
’ - j‘ y 7" ! a er oi t ie u*art. ie
' 1 n! t ' i 1,1 !ls ' tl l la ' ie
contents and , there . evidence .
was
that the a»sas?-m in making his exit
through the general office had stop
ped to open Stantons desk, and re
move such things as a young fellow
in making a permanent departure
Would in* likely to take.
n> much in substance had by inter
rogatory promptings been drawn from
the girl v. hen Banks sanl;
And now tell me what steps have
been taken.
Poor papa s head clerk has em
ployed a detective—a Mr.
wlio, aft«*r looking into the case.
started off hi hot pursuit of my cousin.
whom be firmly believes to be the
•* ssm -
A
FORSYTH, MONROE COUNTY, Gi TUESDAY MORNING, JUNE 26, 1804.
I ( I m! from Banks, lie
camo as
ga/ed musingly into the fire. “Then
young Stanton has disappeared?' ’
J es. tis all a strange eombina
| tif>n of circumstances, but I trust,
I sir, you still believe him innocent.’
My dear young lady, a profes
j , the 'ional case opinion would based be rather on the merits of
For the premature.
present you must draw what
comfort y°u may from my faith in
'our intuitions. If you desire it I
shall proceed at once to the factory
in order to secure some further
data.”
“Kindly do so in my behalf, Mr.
Banks,” responded the girl, and then
exhibiting fidene© to the full her perfect COM
in her hunted lover, she said,
I wish you to spare no expense in
bringing the criminal to justice.”
Receiving iny friend’s promise to
call at her home and report if any
important clew was discovered, she
stepped into her carriage and was
driven away.
At his request I accompanied him
to the scene of the tragedy. An
hour’s investigation bore rather bar¬
ren results. The only important
fact brought out beyond what'we al¬
ready knew, was t hat the suspected
young man had been seen near the
factory shortly before the discovery
of the murder. Banks, I thought,
begun to look a little blue.
“Has the desk of Stanton’s been
touched?” be inquired, presently,
pulling out. the upper drawer.
“The contents have not been ma¬
terially disturbed,” responded the
bead clerk. “Detective Gregg sim
ply noted the missing articles, and
the bloody linger marks on the paper
ivheri* it bad been lifted to get at
some old letters Stanton used to
leave lying around the bottom. The
whole matter seemed so clear to him
that, ho was hero scarcely ten min
utes before lie started off in hot- pur
suit ’
.
“I u>! said Banks in his peculiar
way, and then he proceeded to go
through the drawer. Being slightly
acquainted with one of the clerks, I
stepped up to him for a moment’s
conversation. When I returned to
my friend’s side he was pocketing a
sheet of paper which lie had been ex
aminingwith his microscope. A quick
glance at his face showed me that he
hit upon a promising clew,
“ I think we have seen sufficient,”
hi- said immediately, and in a few
minutes we were on our way hack to
town.
“ Found something, Banks?”
“A mere trifle,” he responded,“hut
mum’s the word, my boy, even for
you. A little spice of mystery, you
know, will sharpen your interest.”
“ I was hoping it was of sufficient
importance to lead to an immediate
and favorable report to our charming
client,” said 1. “Comforting the dis
tressed, when aforesaid distressed are
feminine, young, pretty and rich, is
right in my line.”
Banks laughed gooil humoredly and
then relapsed into ruminating si
lence.
It was about 4 o’clock in the after
noon when we again entered the fac
tory office, Banks carrying a package
about fifteen inches square. It was
wrapped in plain brown paper, bore
no label, tag or address of any sort,
and, as far as I knew, might bo any
one of the thousand things between
a tin of biscuits and an infernal ma
chine. Neither Gregg nor his quarry
had yet been heard from.
“You will oblige me by gathering
all the employes of the factory to
get her in this office, Mr. Williams,”
said Banks, addressing the head clerk,
“Let the outer doors be locked, and
when the men are all in here see
that the office door is securely fas
toned also. 1 wish to try an inter
esting little experiment.”
“I observe that you use a type
writer.” he went on after Mr. M il
Bums had given orders to have the
men called, “Will you kindly re
move the ribbon, or if you have an
unused one better still.”
This being brought Banks proceed
ed to untie his package. Removing
the outer wrapper he laid hare a plain
cardboard box. the cover of which he
was on the point of lifting when he
looked up to see the eyes of all pres
ent gazing upon it with eager curios
ity. Mine, he afterward told me.
were fairly popping out of my head,
As there was no particular hurry he
stayed his hand and with a most
quizzical expression of countenance
lounged back in his chair and coolly
puffed at his cigarette.
In five minutes the men, looking
somewhat mystified, were all assem
bled, and everything was ready for
the next step. Witli a quick glance
Banks ran his eyes over the forty
faces before him. Then turning to me
he whispered mysteriously: “Stand
close beside me and when it comes to
names jot down those I give you the
signal to. It will save time.”
“ \ow. men.” he said, addressing
the gathering, the'matter “as little more can be
done in of the murder
until we hear from Detective Gregg,
Mr Williams here has kindly
sented to allow me this favorable op
portunity to put to the test a little
theory which h*is been brought
to my notice. It is said that in l hina
all holders of public offices and espec
ially soldiers are known by their finger The
mar ks. The arrangement of
grooves or furrows on the skin, it is
claimed, is alike in no two individu
a i s . That I wish to prove or disprove
conclusively. As each man’s name is
called he will please step forward,
press his right thumb upon the type
writer ribbon and then make an iin
pression on this strip of prepared
glass. To distinguish one from an
other I desire each man to record his
name on the label 1 have affixed un
J©r the spice for each impression.”
Banks eyed each man keenly as he
came up in answer to his name and
did as requested. One, two, three,
‘ 1 “ .‘ y“‘-...~. \‘ c
‘ ' if ~ J
V‘%‘
all innocent looking fellows enort^h
went by,but the fourth individual had
a sullen sort of look, and receiving
the nudge of which I had been foro
warned, T jotted down his name. So
the registering procession moved
j : along until at last all had left their
thumb marks and I had listed just
I about a dozen nqmes.
“Now,” said Banks, lifting the
mysterious package, “I have here a
small magic lantern through which I
j propose to put the slide bearing the
j impression. It is now dark enough I
: fancy and—yes—the back of that
calendar yonder will serve excellently
as a white surface. Oblige me, Mr.
Williams by, turning its face to the
wall. Thank you.”
While speaking my friend had
busied himself preparing the lantern
so that matters moved absorbingly
and without delay.
“To make the test a little more
interesting,” he continued, “I will
first show you tin? thumb mark of a
gentleman whom I have a great de¬
sire to meet. We will compare the
others with this one.”
On the disk of light thrown upon
the wall appeared a peculiar arrange¬
ment of lines, jagged, running into
each other, beginning nowhere and
ending in the same place.
Presently with my list before him
Banks pushed the long slide in and
stopped at No, 4. For a few seconds
he allowed it to show out beside the
first. It exhibited a conformation en¬
tirely different. He then superim¬
posed them or placed the figures on
the moving slide directly over that on
the stationary one. The result was a
most confused network of interwoven
lines.
Quicklv lie hurried through my list,
treating each in the same manner
and allowing the dissimilarities to
speak for themselves. Presently one
of the thumbmarks fitted so nicely
over the stationary one that not a
single variation could be observed,
There was no crossing of the lines
and no blur. So perfect was the
matching of the impression that I
turned my eyes toward the lantern
j to be sure that the two slides were
really there. As I did so I noticed a
commotion in the back part of the
room. Then came a yell from Banks.
“Seize him—John Trasker—the
murderer! Don’t let him escape,
me n!”
Before a hand could be raised to
stay him John Trasker had plunged
headforemost through the window
and was flying with terror at his
heels down Urn y
Fro the doors could he opened and
a hue and cry raised he had secured
a long start. As it was only dusk
outside and there were few houses
S near the factory, he was still in view,
however, and the men tore after him
with cries of “Stop the murderer!
Stop him!”
Presently a clatter of hoofs was
heard and a horse and rider
dashed past them, and gained rapidly
upon tlu* fugitive. Seeing he would
] he shortly overtaken if he kept the
road, Trasker climbed a stone wall
and dashed across a meadow,
W itli a leap the rider cleared his
saddle; with a single bound he went
over the wall and almost before the
other pursuers realized what was hap
pening, John Trasker was struggling
to free his pinioned arms from the
iron grasp of his muscular captor,
! “Why, if it isn’t Stanton !” cried
Mr. Williams in surprise, as he and
the others came up.
“Good! exclaimed Banks, with a
grin; “this is a little bit of poetic
justice l hadn’t arranged for.’
Arriving at the factory, Trasker
I broke down and made a most abject
confession, He had planned to re
main behind that evening to rifle the
open safe. Overhearing the quarrel
between uncle and nephew, he saw
how it might he used to his advan
tage. On his way through the gen
eral office he looked through Stanton’s
desk and secured his knife. Return
ing after the deed to complete the
evidence against the young fellow’,
lie had left the incriminating thumb-
As for Stanton, his story was very
simple. He had returned to the
premises that evening with a view to
apologizing to his uncle, but pride
overcoming his good intention, he
had gone away again without enter
ing. Shortly afterward meeting a
friend, who lived some twenty miles
from town, he had been tempted
with the prospect of a day s shoot
ing to accompany him home. Three
o’clock that afternoon, and just after
they had got back from the woods,
the first information of what had oe
curred reached him. and borrowing
his friend s mare he started post
haste for the factory, with what re
suit has already been made known,
Banks received a fifty dollar check
and abundant thanks from his eharm
ing young client, and some fifteen
months later an invitation to the
wedding.—[New York Press.
.■■
Deer Becoming a Pest.
—
A ew years ago the good people of
Maine were afraid that sportsmen
would soon cause the deer in
forests to become extinct. As a re
suit stringent game laws were passed
providing for only two “open months"
of hunting, and limiting the number
of deer to be killed even then. Since
then the “protected’’deer in North
western Maine have flourished and
increased so that all farmers whose
farms adjoin forests are complaining
that the deer are rapidly becoming
an expensive nuisance. The farmers’
vote is a vital element in Maine, and
it is therefore very likely that this
winter's Legislature will either repeal
or modify the present game laws.
New York sportsmen will certainly
be ready to give all the moral encour
agement in their power.—[St. Louis
Republic.
THE JOKflt’S BUDGET.
JESTS AND*|f«RNS BY FUNNY
MEN O.f "HE PRESS.
A Devoted Wi P. footing Prac tica
-> -
--No Limit* : o., Etc
A ppfWCEO WIFE.
“Reginald a fit of economy on
him, mamma, $ I do all I 'can to
encourage hi ey"
“I always i t v 1 you would make
a good wife,H is
“Yes. I sol. dress-coat for
$17 last weokY** t was just enough
to buy me a uorning wrapper.”
—[Judge.
1% NG.
“Why, I tboi ;> you and he were
on a friendly r big.”
“We are; ^ *ked him merely for
his own good./’— [Truth.
&UJ'i ICAL.
She—1 supp* ’* you are anxious to
know what hefeid her made his money
in?
He—No. care ; simply want
to know \vh it’s made of.—
[Truth.
fifMIT.
She—You Wdl love me always,
won't you, oea:(
lie—Always* -furling.
She (petulantly)—Oh
He—What pi Pie world is the mat
ter?
She—Why! earth don’t you say
twice as long id always?—[Philadel
phi a Life.
TH FERENCE.
Mrs. Callahan--I want to get a
pair of shoes : my little boy.
Shopman— fifth kid?
He’s Mrs. C. (indignantly)—Indade born an’ bred not!
my own s<m; near
Tammany Hall.— 2 [Life.
WELL *,ROKEN IN.
Brown—Wei if '4ix old man, now you’ve
been married months, what do
you think of wedded bliss?
Jones—Why* old hoy, I gave up
thinking for m^ejf some five months
ago.—[Judge.
PLEASUREjblSD Streetl COMFORT.
First Waif—Got 'nough
money ter buyiyer sapper?
Second Street Waif—Yep.
“So’veT. Le, go to de t’eater.”
‘Wot’ll we ;/C br supper den?”
“There'*, pfay*"^W rv., v oc watch 9 de 573
every fee actors
eat.” —[Good News.
EXPERT OPINION.
Little Johnny (looking up from his
book)—Pa, what is a besom of de¬
struction ?
Pa (who is adjusting a collar)—A
machine they use in laundries, John¬
ny.—[Boston Transcript.
TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.
Fanny—You take Dick Foster too
seriously. Nothing he says is worth
a moment’s consideration.
Nanny—But he insinuated that 1
was one of the mushroom aristoc¬
racy.
Fanny—Humph! he hasn’t sense
enough to tell a mushroom from a
toadstool.—[Judge.
NEVER DOUBTED IT.
On turn e—You remember, I told
you I was no saint before we were
married?
Mrs. Ontume—And you remember
what implicit confidence I had in
what you told me? — [New York
World.
STEADY IMPROVEMENT.
“Is your daughter improving in her
painting?”
Mother—Well, I should say so.
Her last picture was so good that
only three of the family failed to
guess what it was.—[Chicago Inter
Ocean.
his business.
i L What’s your representative in
Washington doing for his country
now?”
“He’s a-layin’ aroun’ an’ a-drawin’
of his salary.”
“Nothing else?”
“Oh. yes; he’s a-blowin’ of it
in."—[Atlanta Constitution.
A POINT IN ETIQUETTE.
Minnie—Do you think it right for
a young woman to allow a man
to kiss her when they are not en
gaged?”
Mamie—Of course not. ® s P ec i _
ally „ when , one considers . how , easy
it is to get engaged.—[Detroit Free
Press.
his privilege.
Irate German (to stranger who has
stepped on his toe)—Mine friend, I
know mine feet vas made to be valked
on, but dot privilege belongs to me.—
[London Tid-Bits.
SECRET OF HER ENJOYMENT.
He—I don’t see how you could
have enjoyed that performance at
the theatre last night. It was abom
inable .
S he—I know it. But vou didn’t
j n a box with a new gown on.—
[Chicago Record.
“
, not going to have a crush.
“How many ladies have vou in
yited?"
“Twenty-five.”
’ I thought you were going to in
v i te fifty? ’
“But consider the fashion in
sleeves.”—[New York Press.
KKr R ' f ‘ FKVX E -
“What's the latest reports from
Paris?” asked the managing edi
tor.
“I’ve just received two,” replied
the telegraph editor; “one from a
duel and the other from a bombshell,”
—[Washington Star.
ADVERTISER.
time's changes. 1
Young Wife (complainingly)—You
haven't bought me a box of chocolate
since we were married.
Young Husband — That’s queer.
Come to think, you haven’t remarked
that you enjoy tjie smoke of a good
cigar since \v» were married.—
[Life.
A SPECIES OF VERSE.
Mrs. Snaggs—Don't you think my
new bonnet is a poem, love?”
Mr. Snaggs—Have you paid for
it?
“Of course not.”
“Then it is a poem, no doubt—an
owed.” — [PiDsburg-Chronicle-Tele
graph.
A STAYER.
Mrs. Green—Well, have you got
through?”
Languid Larry—If you mean have
I finished de plate, mum, I have; but
whether I’m through or not is fer you
to say, kind lady.—[Judge.
CONSIDERATE HUSBAND.
Watts—Do you always agree with
your wife when she makes an asser¬
tion?
Potts—Of course I don’t. Do you
suppose I want the poor woman to
have no amusement at all?—[Indian¬
apolis Journal.
IMPOSSIBLE.
Willie Wilt—I am afraid you flatter
me, Miss Perte.
Miss Perte—Could you be flatter,
Mr. Wilt?—[Truth.
APROPOS.
“Oh, it’s going to be a good play ;
just abounds in situations. But I
haven’t found a name to suit me
yet.”
“You might call it the Intelligence
Office.”—[Truth.
A SILLY’ BIRD.
“I have a parrot at home that
repeats every word I utter,” said
Jarley.
“What an idiot of a bird!” ejac¬
ulated Cynicus.
A NEW PLACE.
She—Are you fond of corn on the
ear?
He—I never had one there.
NAILING A LIE.
Mother—I do not wish you to
have anything to do with him.
Why, his salary is only eight dollars
a week.
Daughter—Oh, ma! Whoever told
you that told you a falsehood.
M.—Well, I was told so.
I).—Then it is a falsehood. He is
geting $8.50.—[New York Press.
HE WAS WONDERING.
“Have you seen the petrified man
they have on exhibition?”
“Yes; I xvas wondering-”
“What?”
“I was wondering if he died hard.”
—]New York Press.
THE COALS OF FIRE.
“You are looking pretty glum;
what’s the matter with you?”
“I’ve sustained a*terrible humilia¬
tion. Jack Squareman has been say¬
ing some kind and flattering things
about me.”
“I shouldn’t regard that as humili¬
ating.”
“Ah, but I’ve been saying some
mean things about him.”—[NewYork
Press.
ASTOUNDING IGNORANCE.
“John,” said Mrs. Billus, ( ( w’hat
is the salary of an Alderman?”
“I think it’s $3 for each meet
ing. J J
“And yet there seems to be plenty
of men willing to take the place at
that pitiful salary. How hard the times
must be when strong, able bodied
men, willing to work, no doubt, and
capable of filling far higher stations
in life, are driven to the necessity of
taking such jobs! I am sure we
ought to be very thankful, .John,
that you haven’t felt the pressure of
the hard times to any such extent as
that, and j y
“Maria,” said Mr. Billus, looking
fixedly at her over his newspaper,
“you make me very weary. ”—[Chica¬
go Inter-Ocean.
Food Before Sleep.
Many persons, says Dr. AY. T.Cath
ell, an eminent physician, though not
actually sick, keep below par in
strength and general tone, and I am
of the opinion that fasting during
the long intervals between supper
and breakfast, and especially the com¬
plete emptiness of the stomach dur¬
ing sleep, adds greatly to the amount
of emaciation, sleeplessness and gen
eral weakness we so often meet,
All beings except man are goverened
natural instinct, and every being
with a stomach, excapt man, eats be¬
fore sleep, and even the human in¬
fant, guided by the same instinct,
sucks frequently day and night, and
if its stomach is empty for any pro
longed period, it cries long and loud,
Digestion requires no interval of
rest, and if the amount of food dur
ing the twenty-four hours is, in
quantitvand quality, *it not beyond the
phvsiolomcal limit, makes no hurt
: ful difference to the stomach how few
or how short are the intervals be
tween eating, but it does make a vast
difference in the weak and emaciated
one’s welfare to have a modicum of
food in the stomach during the time
j of sleep that instead of being con-
1 sumed by bodilv action it may during
the interval improved the lowered
system, and I am fully satisfied were
tiie weakly, the emaciated and the
sleepless to rightly take a lteht lunch
or meal of simple! nutritious foodbe
fore going to lied for a prolonged would-be
period, nine in ten -1 of them
I therehr lifted into h* tter standard
0 f health.—[New York Journal.
SHE WAS A PIONEER.
Mrs. Myra Bradley the First Female Law¬
yer in the Country.
In the death of Mrs. Myra Brad
well, wife of Judge James B. Brad
well, of Chicago, one of the most:
noted of American women has passed
away. Mrs. Bradwell was born in
Manchester, Yt, in 1831. Remov¬
ing to the west she married in 1852
James B. Bradwell, a risiug young
lawyer, of Chicago. Becoming in¬
terested in his profession, she studied
aw and passed a most creditable ex
imination. Because she was a mar
Jll - Sr
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r
-
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dsn -i?
z> m
£ Pj
. yJ
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MRS, MVRA BRADWELL.
tied woman she was denied admis¬
sion to the bar, but sul sequently
after a spirited fight, during which
the State law, excluding married
women from the practice of law, was
amended, a certificate was given her
and she was the first woman admit¬
ted to the bar in America. She was
the first woman made a member of
the Illinois Bar Association also of
the Illinois Press Association. The
first weekly legal paper published In
the Western States was the Chicago
Legal News, which was established
twenty-three years ago with Mrs.
Bradwell as manager and editor.
Lawyer Bradwell retired from the
bench in 1860 in order to assist his
wife in her large business to which
the Legal News Company had grown.
Mrs. Bradwell managed to find time
in her busy life for much charitable
and philanthropic work. During the
civil war she was an active helper
among the sick and wounded soldiers,
and did good work in the Sanitary
Commission. She was a member of
the Soldiers’ Home Board. She was
untiring in her efforts to secure the
World’s Fair for Chicago. Mrs.
Bradwell was also a member of the
Chicago Women’s-Club, and the Illi¬
nois Women’s Press Association.
Musical Vibrations.
I, for one, believe that we are on
the eve of a great era of applicable
force, and that the wasteful methods
of steam and electricity will be^rele
gated to a desuetude such as has
overtaken the stage coach.
The grounds of my belief are based
not wholly on hearsay, but chiefly on
a curious experience. A few days ago
a young man living in the vicinity
of Boston took me to his room and
showed me an apparatus which he
had himself constructed with amaz¬
ing ingenuity and skill. The funda¬
mental prlmum mobile of this sim¬
ple machine was musical vibration.
I have no right to describe the ap¬
paratus, but the force produced in
an incredibly brief interval of time
by means of a fiddle bow was so enor¬
mous that there seemed to be no way
of measuring it, and the chief diffi¬
culty in the way of practical appli¬
cation lay in the regulation of this
force, which if directed full upon a
human being, the Inventor believed,
would instantly vaporize his body.
A single drop of water confined in a
hollow stell tube was resolved by a
small fraction of this possible energy
into a motor capable of running an
engine if properly applied.
It is well known to all
men that a cubic foot of atmospheric
air contains latent (if one might use
the term), or in suspension, force
enough to kill a regiment. Musical
vibration seems to set free a portion
of this energy, and its resources are
infinite. If once they can be reg
ulated it will be the simplest and
most inexpensive way of doing all
manual work, for it will require no
‘ ie ^’ The young man who , thought out
this wonderful series of apparatus is
se.f-made, not having had great ad- ,
vantages of education; but for pure
genius, X think, whether as a prao.
tical inventor as a theoretical ex
perimenter, he will take high rank
among the great of the world.—Bos
ton Transcript.
His Consent.
A fond parent, living in the south¬
ern part of Missouri, who has his own
ideas about the marriage question,
sent the recorder his consent to the
marriage of liis daughter. It being
a little out of the ordinary (says the
Bolivar Free Press), we copy It ver
batim: “Mr. Cleark—hear is a young
man that wants to get maried to my
daughter i giv her to him as nothing
els will do him let them fight.”
United States Secret Codes.
The secret codfis used by the
United States state department are
the most carefully guarded of all the
nation's secrets. One of them Js
called the sphinx it is soguarded.
The “sphinx” was devised by a New
Yorker now in the state department,
and is as susceptible to changes as
the combination lock of a safe.
hind’j, it, and it m has ha- S Tve^lLed neser leaked. e ° ^
Nikola Tesla, the famous elec¬
trician, has invented an engine which
does away with fly-wheels, crossheads
md eccentrics, with everything, in
fact, but the piston and cylinder, all
the control mechanism being electro
magnetic.
“Strange,” said the actor, “that
the ties should seem fewer as I get
nearer home.'”—-Flam Dealer.
NO. 21
OUR BUDGET OF RUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO*
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Hnve Been Recently Born—Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh*
able—The Week’s Humor.
Let Us All Lnncrh.
A reliable safety coupler—the
minister. — Lo w el 1 Cou r i er.
To enjoy a warm spring sit on a
hot flat-iron pi a cd on a chair by your
wife. —Siftings.
Teacher—“M illie, wliat is mem*
ory?” Willie—“The thing you forget
with.”—Vogue.
“I always did enjoy an intellectual
feast,” said the caunibil as he a tv
the Yale man.—Life.
The man who is waiting for his
ship to come in usually finds it a tug.
— Yonkers Statesman.
Tiie surgeon may lie very sedate,
but he is a great hand to cut up.—
Glens Falls Republican.
Are the members of the college PI
Eta society particu’arly partial to
pastry?—Lowell Courier.
“There is a time for everything"
when the hoarding-house cook makes
hash.—Binghamton Republic in.
Ir is said peace efforts are on foot
in Honduras. Statesmen may he
having their corns cut.—Picayune.
When a man past 50 hasn’t had
any had luck for three days he begins
to quake and tremble.—Atchison
Globe,
The man didn’t know how it
sounded when he said: “I'll believe
there’s a hell when 1 see it.”—Plain
dealer.
“You can’t eat your dinner and
have It, too.” e iid the sympathetic
steward to the seasick passenger.—
Siftings.
The widower about to remarry Is
the most unselfish of mortals. TTc
seldom thinks of number cne.—Al¬
bany Press.
After a man passes 40 he can help
his children most by saving up money
to care for himself in his old age.—
Atchison Globe.
Grammar Teacher —“In the sen¬
tence ‘Where am I at?’ what is ‘at? 1 »
Scholar—“A superfluity, miss.”—De¬
troit Free Press.
Patient —“Can you draw a tooth,
Doctor?” Dentist—“Well, I should
say so. I’m a perfect artist In that
line. ”—Exchange.
Prima Donna —“I sing only En¬
glish words.” Manager — “Never
mind. No one will need to know it.”
—Detroit Tribune.
It was a Manitoba high-school boy
who said there were four zones—
frigid, torrid, temperate and intem¬
perate.—Lynn Item.
“The hard times make very little
difference to me,” remarked a lime
dealer; “my business is always slack.”
—Philadelphia Record.
Tommy —Paw, what Is a brag¬
gart? Mr. Figg—He is a man who
is not afraid to tell his real opinion
0 f himself.—Indianapolis Journal,
Poeticus (breathlessly) — “I have
just dashed off these few lines
and ” Editor—“Well, er, suppose
you dash off yourself.” — Boston
Courier.
“Say, pa,” asked Freddy, “why is It
that when you or Uncle George tell a
story you always get laughed at and
when I tell one I get a lickin’?”—
Buffalo Courier.
Fikst Beggar — “Yesterday I ex
tended my business enormously.”
Second Ditto—“In what way?” First
Ditto—“I broke one of my ribs.”—
Lustige Blaetter.
Dozeleigh —Why do you Insist
upon the new pastor being a fat man?
Deacon Broadaisle—Because fat men
are generally short-winded.—Will
iamsport Review,
“Idleness covers a man with
nakedness,” was the profound ob
se rvation of a gentleman in the
crown Lands Department, noted for
his fiowery eloquence.—Grip.
“Did the publishers accept the novel
of hers in which the heroine kills her
husband nusoana bv oy slow slow poison. njison v ” “Yo ^o. Thev iney
tfvl*d her to adopt pniwic acid and
make “ a Bhort story.’-Puck.
“I shall be glad when I get big
enough to wash my own face,” mut¬
tered little Johnny after his mamma
had got through with him; “then I
won’t wash it.”—Boston Transcript.
“I am very much afraid,” said the
good old parson as he was admonish
ing his flock, “that unless you mend
your ways some of you, when Gabriel
blows his trumpet, will come out at
the little end of the horn.—Rochester
Democrat.
Little Ethel —What is these an
archist people talkin’ aoout? Little
Johnny—Why,they wants everything
everybody else has got an’ they never
wash theirselves. Little Ethel—Oh,
I see. They is little boys grower! up.
—Good News.
“Papa,” said little Isaac, “vot is
Vlin hnnrlredt, VrgLstances,” ner zent'-” “Tt de
pends on replied
Ringsheimer. “Yun hundredt per
zen ^ f g sma n profit, but a larch undt
oudtraichus seddlement ohf your
debts.”_Harlem Life
KrrrY—Tom Is down Sooth this
aad 110 " aa «*nt ™
loveliest little alligator you ever
saw. Ada—How are you going to
keep him? Kitty —1 don't know; but
I’ve put it in Florida water until I
hear from Tom.”—Life.
Jackson Y oud better go and
ma ^ e ^ up with Dobson, if you care
anything for his fr.endship. Jen¬
kins—What have I ever done to Dob
son? Jackson—Why you called him
“Mister !” Dobson is captain in a
Brooklyn militia regiment.—Pucic.