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THE GOLDEN SIDE.
There Is many a rest on tho road o( Ufa,
If we only would stop to take it ;
And many a tone from the b**tt«r land,
If the querulous heart would wake It.
To the sunny soul that U full of hope,
And whose beautiful trust ne'er fatleth,
The grass Is green and the flowers are bright,
Though the wintry storm prevalleth.
Better to hope, though tho clou'is hang low,
And to keep the eyes still lifted ;
For the sweet blue sky will soon peep
through,
When the ominous Hoods are rlft«d,
There was never a night without a day,
Nor an evening without a morning
And tho darkest hour the proverb goes,
Is the hour beforo the dawning.
There's many a gem in the path of life,
Which we pass in our Idle pleasure,
That is richer far than the jeweled crown,
Or the miser’s hoar le l treasure ;
It may be the Jove of a little child,
Or a mother's prayer to hf*av«n,
Or only a beggar's grateful thanks
For a cup of water given.
Better to weave Jn the web of Ufo
A bright and golden filling,
And to do God’s will with a ready heart,
And hands that aro swift and willing,
Than to snap the delicate silver threads
Ot our curious lives asunder.
And then lie.avon blame for the tangled ends,
And sit to grievo and wonder.
Mrs. M. A. Kidder.
TWICE IN ONE HOUR,
■s’ LliAI’.LY Clandio
I was tired, and it
took a deal to tire
s this big, totisle
I liended young Mex¬
- ican.
But it was
not to be wondered
■AMi frX at, iug’s after work. his morn- The
* lambs in his barn
v .tij, were now five days
(Amjl old, and Mexican at that
f&'-y lamb age a new
mm; l s smart
enough in body
and impish enough
fn mind to undo Job himself. Then
tho mothers, whose ago might have
beoD expected to give them discretion,
were as crazy as the lambs. To add
to the worry, the snakes w'ero begin
ning to come out from their winter
T ato in tho afternoon, the ewes,
with a chorus of strange whistles,
went tearing and galloping over the
swale and disappeared over tho broAV
of the ridge as if the very wolves were
after them. Claudio started in pur¬
suit, but the lambs luing at his heels,
in spite of a bombardment of words
and pebbles that he directed at them,
and whenever he paused, pranced up
to him and muzzled against his legs
and dropped contentedly at his very
feet.
it Pulliag vigorously off his coat, Claudio swung
about him to clear a
space, leaped over tho backs of a feAV
loiterers aud went running up a elope
at a gait it Avns a wonder to see. The
coat dropped from his hand as he
jumped a gulley, aud us the lambs
came stumbling along several tripped
on it, aud, finding it warm, promptly
spraAvlod upon their knees and began
to nurse at whatever rag or tag they
first found. And the others, fanoying
that they were being robbed of their
dinnor, crowded aud jostled about,
butting, falling doAvn, clambering
over one another.
Olamlio might have laughed at the
sight; but when he came back, fifteen
minutes later, ho saw about the coat
only a lot of little Avhite patches,
smeared with blood. Here and there
a lamb avhh to bo seeD, wandering dis¬
consolately about or fallen exhausted
under a shrub. And over the farther
swale Avas just disappearing a big,
dark, shambling figure, Avith two
white objects shining upon ii.
It was all plain enough, The eAves,
scenting tho bear from afar as ho
sneaked through the woods, had fled
incontinently ; and, taking advantage
of Claudio’s brief absence, Bruin had
sallied from the junipers, played
havoc among the lambs (which were
too stupid to fear 6A*en him), and was
now making off Avith a couple “i or
future reference.”
The bear, like bears always, was
only anxious to get away. When
Claudio ciime in full view of hi in and
only 100 yards behind, he whipped
from his belt the six-shooter he car
ried iu lieu of a rifle. “Throwing
down, in the swift, instinctive mo
tion of those who really know how to
use a revolver, and never stop to ask
T uuiii \ pioxy 3 ins running 1 8 ol l }°t f him. SCL *t It n
or
was a gom o , tired and at speed ns
owns u 'iiuo shooting one had
o tain on n> lormei and cannot
earn n a ga t ry. i io ’ear turned
a complete somersault, and, gather
ing himself again began biting
viciously at Ins body. Claudio had
s °l*l H 1 * l a > hut now, within
nr i j.iri s, le a teu and watched
°l c ’ ru e ° ® 1 .' e u a 8 ^°* ; a ^ iX
vital . part, J> but that ,
in very instant
the bear, with a snuffle of rage,
wheeled and came galloping at his late
pursuer.
Claudio drove a square shot at the
skull—not in any notion that he could
bore that sloping forehead, but hop
ing the rap might startle the beast
into rising, so that he could get a
chance at the throat, the best of all
shots at a bear. But the heavy ball
merely plowed a red furrow up the
squat skull, and the bear came lurch
mg on. It was worse than useless to
run. Slender as was the chance of
life now, it all lay in standing firm,
” ifhin six feet the huge brute did
rear up his haunches; and, springing
back a step, Claudio was bringing
down his weapon to “Jet go" when it
should be on a leA*el with that mighty
throat, now fully exposed. But the
bear was no innocent; and, cleverly
judged as was Claudio’s move, he had
met his match iu quick wit. Even
the sweep of his swift arm Avas slow
beside the flash of that great paw as
it swooped far forward, met his de
Bcending hand Avith a calculation an
Indian eye might have envied, and
sent the heavy revolver spinning forty
feet, going off as it flew. And in an
other instant the shepherd was on his
back and the bear upon him.
The great claws had struck only the
six-shooter, and Claudio’s hand was
unhurt, save where the violentwreneh
ing of the guard had cut and twisted
his fingers; and instiactively he
THE MONROE ADVERTISER, FORSYTH, GA„ TUESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1894. -EIGHT PAGES
gripped deep in the thick fnr where
first his hands hurt by lighted. the fall, Neither for here had j '
fc, e been was *
*oft gra y sand—which a little relieved,
too, the f ea rful pressure upon hig legs,
Claudio But none of these things comforted
; and he fought only as a man
fights blindly to the end. His last
faint hope had gone when the six
shooter went whirling far beyond j
his The bear, in the which had of Acebache, gone to bed roll- in j
cave canon |
ing-fat, in November, bnt a few days
ago come forth from that long nap,
the shadow of his proper self. His
long, heavy fnr was sadly rusted, and
ilis huge frame lean as a rail. He had
been interrupted in the first square !
meal in five months; anil from that
long fast came two strange results,
One was, that he was not half himself
in strength; and that the powerful
young Mexican was therefore some
thing more than a puppet in his paws.
Of the end certainly, there could be
no doubt; but meantime, Claudio
wrestled mightily, and even succeeded
in struggling to his feet, hugging close,
to give those paws no chance for the
swipes that would make an eggshell of
his head. His face he snuggled into
the bear's chest, and so kept clear of
the dripping jaws. And despite the
fearful pressure under which his ribs
creaked and sprung, he hunched and
tuged and swayed blindly and desper¬
ately, as wrestling with some tall man
whom he might hope to pitch at last.
Bnt it was not for long.
Finding these close quarters unsatis
factory, the bear brought up his mus¬
cular arm, and clapping its paw upon
Chmdio’e mat of hair foiced his head
rosistlessly back. The great claws were
buried iu his scalp, and little streams
of red spurted out. The bear’s left
arm was nround his waist, while the
right was giving him the “break hold”
as scientifically as any wrestler Could
have done. And now a villainous
warm breath came sickeningly in his
face, And ho could see the red jaws and
white teeth within six inches. He
even noticed with that strange incou
sequence which comes upon a man iu
these moments, that blood from the
scalp wound had run down and tinged
tho froth which dripped from great
mouth. Iu a frenzy of terror he
caught a clutch under the throat, to
hold back that horrible head—and the
strongest man could scarce have bent
against Claudio’s desperate arms. But
it was only a question of a little longer.
Slowly, slowly, those resistless neck
muscles bore down Claudio's iron
arms; and tho big jaws, working
grimly, drew nearer. A deathly faint¬
ness began to spread from his stomach,
and Claudio shut his eyes.
Just then a sudden jerk ran through
tho body of the bear, and there was a
sharp snort as of rage or pain. Claudio
opened his eyes. He could see nothing
but that demoniac face; but in it he
fancied there was a new expression.
Then there was a sickening movement
of the great claws which had sunk
deep into his baok and scalp. Surely
they were relaxing! Their withdrawal
was far more painful than their en¬
trance had been; but even with the
faintness of the new pain, a sudden
wave of joy swept through the shep¬
herd—for the first time, now, he
hoped, though he knew not why. He
shook his head savagely, to clear the
blood which streamed down over his
eyes (the paw had dropped from his
scalp) and dug his fists into the deep
furred throat, and fought with the
strength of two Claudios—fighting no
longer as a dying rat fights, but like a
man for hope of life.
Then a very wonderful thing befell,
The bear was groaning and panting
heavily; and suddenly it lurched and
tell to the ground, carrying Claudio
with it. But it was no longer trying
to get his head between its jaws. For
a moment he lay half upon him,
writhing and grinding its teeth, and
then Hung itself to one side, biting up
a great mouthful of sand. Claudio
leaped to his feet, ran to the six
shooter and fell upon it, orying like a
child. It was teu minutes before he
could get up, for loss of blood—and
more than all, the frightful strain—
had left him limp as a rag. At last, he
staggered to his feet, clutching the
six shooter, and walked unsteadily
toward the bear.
Laying down Ills revolver he caught
the heavy fur to turn the bear over.
Ordinarily lie would have succeeded,
Four hundredweight is no fool' of a
lump, but Claudio, as you have seen,
was an uncommonly powerful young
man. Now, however, worn out by
his fearful struggle and with nerves
so unstrung that he trembled ail over,
| ^ too much for him. Still, the
mystery would not let him rest, and
hunching his shoulders against the
bears back he ran his hand uuder,
| feeling for the wound. He groped
and groped, but suddenly in a hollow
felt the touch of something very dif
j ferent from furor sand, and in the
| same instant an inconceivable pang,
And when he jerked away his arm a
tiny snake, less than a foot long,
S ra J backed, and coppery on the
belly, was hanging from his thumb.
| The last vestige of color faded from
1 the brown face and left it gray as
. ashes between the drying streaks of
j blood—for ouate, the only Claudio real knew in the the pichu
j world, the deadliest asp snake iu North new
; We
America. So had escaped the bear
i only to die by the tiny foe—for never
yet had one been known to recover
from the bite of the pichu-cuate. A
rattlesnake was nothing; but this—
well, see what it had done for such a
monster as the bear and in the space
. of less than a minute! Evidently in
their struggle bruin had stepped too
) close to this unsuspected danger—
that great lump on his hind leg ex
plained alL Had he carried his usual
coat of fat the venom would have
taken far longer to operate and he
would have had abundant time to
settle accounts with Claudio. But he
I no longer looked gaunt. He was still
swelling—already he looked fat as if
July were here.
Already Claudio was reeling. Fear
fill pains shot up his arm and went
forking through his body. Upon the
thumb were only two tiny black
right at the tip, but the hand in
five seconds had taken twice its size,
If he could only cut it off! But
: uis knife was in his coat, and
he could get half wav to that he
! ue a dead shepherd.
All this had taken not so long as
hive been iu reading it —nay,
ttie vime in which one might spell
longest word in it, for in these crises
things and thoughts move swiftly, and
one lives fast. Claudio was still
squeezing his thumb and crying aloud
for a knife, when his eye lit on the six
shooter. Quick as a flash he sprang
and caught it up and cocked it. There
was just one cartridge left.
His nerves were steady now. He
held his hand at arm’s length before
him, the wounded thumb erect, drew
the revolver back to his very eye that
the ball taight not mangle too much
and thus stop the blood which must
flow; and with a hand as firm as if it
had been carved of stone pulled the
trigger. There was a dull, numb sen¬
sation, hardly a pain in all that side,
and when the smoke cleared from his
eyes his right hand was black and
bleeding. The thumb was gone clean
at the lower joint,
There is one man iu New Mexico
vrho has been bitten by the pichu-cuate
and lives to tell of it—a tall, power¬
ful, good natured shepherd with four
grim, grey furrows in his hair and the
thumb of the right hand missing. But
Claudio seems rather proud of these
disfigurements and often says :
‘‘Who talks of bargains? For so
cheaply I bought my life twice in one
hour.”—New York Press.
The Tallest Man in the House.
Ex-Speaker Reed was stretched out
on a sofa in the House and Repre
sentative Bynum was writing letters.
Representative Berry, of Kentucky,
passed by.
“I should say,” said Bynum to
Reed, in an off-hand way, “that Berry
was the tallest man in the House.”
A look of ineffable scorn flitted
cross the face of Mr. Reed. “By¬
num,” he said, “why is it that I have
always to go around dispensing in¬
formation to the Democratic side?
Don’t you know that Curtis, of New
York, is the tallest man in the House?
Bynum, I am surprised at your igno¬
rance. ” And Mr. Reed settled back
on the sofa as if he had settled the
question forever and forever.
“I am willing to pin my faith on
Berry,” said Bynum, quietly.
< < Well,” spoke u|> Reed, “if you
will bo foolish, I will go you the cigars
on it.”
Out went a couple of pages to hunt
up Mr. Curtis and Mr. Berry. Half a
dozen members who had overhead the
wager awaited tho result. The New
Yorker and the Kentuckian came up
together—Mr. Curtis tall and straight,
Mr. Berry stooping slightly. There
was no question as to who was tho
taller.
“There,” said Mr. Keed, with a
tone of triumph; “what did I tell
you?”
Bnt at that moment Mr. Berry, hav¬
ing heard the question at issue, began
to unfold himself, so to speak, like the
swan-necked woman in the dime mu¬
seum. His long legs straightened out,
his back gathered inches unto itself,
his head rose up in the air, and pres¬
ently Mr. Curtis—six feet and four
inches though he be—was a dwarf.
“Good gracious, Berry,” exclaimed
Mr. Reed, Avith an expression of awe
in his voice, “how much of yourself
do you keep in your pockets?”
And then-the crowd Avent down and
smoked cigars at Mr. Reed’s expense.
—Washington Post.
Pemmican.
The very best food for the Polar re¬
gions, so says Dr. Frederick A. Cook,
who went out as surgeon to the Peary
expedition of 1891-92, is pemmican.
When you hear what pemmican is
made of you will wonder how any one
can enjoy it. “It is a combination,”
he says, “of dried beef and tallow;
the beef is pulverized, the tallow heat
ed and the two substances are mixed
in equal proportions, with a few cur
rants and no salt, but a little sugar
thrown in. When the mixture cools
it hardens into a solid that can be cut
up into squares weighing half a pound,
the allowance per man for each meal. ”
A man, Dr. Cook goes on to say, can
eat this food every day for months
without ever tiring of it.
Other things freeze so as to be of
no use. For instance, it will take
sometimes three or four hours for a
can of tongue to thaw in these re¬
gions even when held over an alcohol
lamp. The only food which freezes
and still is good on Pelar expeditions
is tho cranberry. This berry, by the
bye, is one of the most wholesome aDd
refreshing foods carried there, Dr.
Cook says.
Memory and Age.
Authentic instances of old people
who have recovered lost sight, hearing
ol . speech, or who have grown a third
set of teeth or a supplementary crop
os hair, are not uncommon. But cases
in which perfect memory has been re
gained after being impaired almost to
the verge of extinction by paralytic
shock are rare. This, however, has
happened to William McEntee, an old
maQ 0 f eighty-four, residing on North
Twenty-eighth street. During the re
cent storm he insisted upon taking his
laid'up daily walk, and in consequence was
with a severe cold. While sit¬
. i U g i n hi s arin chair after his recovery,
a dav or two since, he found himself
humming an air which he had not
heard since he was a bov in the Em
; e rald Isle. Then he began to tell a
| s t 0 ry which the old song recalled, and,
to the amazement of bis family, he
we nt on to recite incidents and events
| no t only of long ago, but of more re
een t dates, of which before his brief
illness he had no recollection. —Phila
delphia Record,
The Missouri’s Channel.
‘The Missouri River is a restless
stream,” said a Westerner, can
remember l'ankton as on the river,
and I can also remember it when it
, was two or three miles away, The
Missouri, when it takes a notion to
appropriate a few farms, cats them
! down like a steam plow would. l r ou
‘ will see it start on a considerable strip
of the rich black loam soil and cat it
down for miles. I have a friend whose
farm was on the west bank of th 9
river when he bought it ten years
ago. Two years later he lived on an
island in the middle of the stream,
and to-day he is on the east side, It
is even more restless than the Missis
sippi; while there are not the same
levees and other safeguards plaoed
about it to prevent its encroaching
upon the valuable farming lands along
’ its banks.* 1 —Cincinnati Enquirer.
Sailors' omem
JACK TARS MORE SUPERSTI¬
TIOUS IN FORMER DAYS.
Lawyers, Women and Clergymen
Looked at With Disfavor on Sail¬
ing Vessels — Other Striking
Superstitions of Seamen.
Li IEUTENANT J. D. JERROLD
Kelley gives an interesting
chapter of “Superstitions of
the Sea” in the Century. Af
ter studying them fairly well, he
doubts if modern sailors are more
superstitions than any other class with
equal training and opportunities. I
believe, he says, that everybody is
leavened with superstition, notably
the noisiest scoffers, and those mounte
banks, the Thirteen Clubs, for these
gentry protest too much. It seems to
be a human instinct, modified by
racial inheritances and developments,
In the youth of the world its mani
festations were the earliest recorded
utterances of men concerning the visi
ble phenomena of the universe, and
its grip on simple words was an out
growth of the fear of the unknown,
Of all people sailors must deal at first
hand, and helplessly to some degree,
with tho most unknowable, uncon
trollable of material problems, the
sea, and it is only natural that their
folk-lore should be, in part, land
stories fitted with sea meanings, and
in part blind explanations of sea
phenomena both being maintained
valorously by the gruesome conserva
tism of tho seaman, even after rational
causes come to the rescue.
In earlier days superstition was as
much a part of every ship as the water
she was to float in; for it entered
with the wood scarfed into her keel,
and climbed to the flags and garlands
waving at her mastheads; it ran riot
ously at her launching, controlled her
name, her crew, and cargoes ; it timed
her days and hours of sailing, and
convoyed her voyages. It summoned
apparitions for her ill-fortune, and
evoked portents and signs for her
prosperity; it made winds blow foul
or fair, governed her successful ven¬
tures and arrivals, and when her work
was done, promised a port of rest
somewhere off the shores of Fiddler’s
Green, where all good sailors rest
eternally, or threatened foul moorings
deep in the uncanny locker of Davy
Jones of ballad memory.
In many countries stolen wood was
mortised into the keel, as it made the
ship sail faster at night; fashioning"this though if
the first blow struck in
keel drew fire, the ship was doomed
to wreck upon her maiden voyage.
Silver (usually a coin) placed in the
mainmast-step went for lucky ven
tures, and misguided indeed -was the
owner who permitted any of the un
lucky timbers to enter into the con
struetkm. Something of the ceremo¬
nious character given to launching
survives to this day; where of old
ships were decked with flowers and
crowns of loaves, flags now flutter;
the libation poured on the deck, the
purification by the priest, the annoint
ing with egg and sulphur, find their
exemplars in the well-aimed and
wasted magnums which are shattered
on the receding cut-water as the craft,
released from the ways, slips, well
greased, into the sea; the jar of wine
put to his lips by the captain, and
then emptied on deck, the cakes and
ale set before the crew, the stoup of
wine offered to passers-by on the
quay, and the refusal of which w r as an
evil omen—all are realized in these
sadder lustrums by the builder’s feast
in the mold-loft.
Lawyers, clergymen, and women are
ever looked at with disfavor on sail¬
ing ships as sure to bring ill-luck—
lawyers, undoubtedly, from the antip¬
athy of sailors to the class, dislike so
pronounced that “sea-lawyer” is a very
bitter term of reproach, ,'nd “land
shark” is a synonym. Clergymen—
priests and parsons—are unlucky,
probably because of their blaok gowns
and their principal duty on shipboard
—that of consoling the dying and
burying dead—though possibly be¬
cause the devil, the great storm-raiser,
is their especial enemy, and sends
tempests to destroy them. Women—
who may reason out their unjiopular
ity?—save that a ship is the last place
for them, or perhaps because of the
dread of witches; for of all spellwork
ers in human form none is so dreaded
as the female brewers of hell-broth.
Like the priests of the middle ages,
they can raise a prime quality of
storm by tossing sand or stones in the
air, and, like Congreve’s Lapland sor¬
ceress, are supposed to live by selling
contrary winds and wrecked vessels.
Certain families could never get
sea-employment under their own sur¬
names, not even such members as
were born with cauls, for they were
tabooed, barred; and many animals—
hares, pigs, and black cats, for ex¬
ample—could neither be carried nor
mentioned on shipboard, save under
very stringent conditions. Scarbor¬
ough wives kept a black cat in the
house to assure their husband’s lives
at sea; but on voyages every black
cat carried a gale in her tail, and if
she became unusually frolicsome a
Storm was sure to follow.
Figureheads were at first images of
gods, and later of saints and sea-he¬
roes, and were held in high reverence,
and the eyes glaring from each bow
of a Chinese junk enable the boat to
voyage intelligently—for “no hare
two eyes, how can see? No can see,
how can do?” is the shibboleth of their
sailors. Ships’ bells were blessed, and
to-day if a mistake in their striking is
made by a stupid messenger-boy, they
are struck backward to break the
spell. In one ship to which I was at
taehed the bell had come down to us
from the Ticonderoga, through the
Thetis, I think, and was supposed to
be under the special control of a blue
spirit of mischief. Why the blue
spirit should indulge in such vagaries
is hidden, but in the middle of the
deep-sea nights, when the moon rode
in an auspicious quarter, and the wind
blew with the force, and from the di
rection, necessary for the spell, the
blue bell was bound to make a com
plete circle, ’ and ring out nine bells
stridently. Of course no one beiis ever
bg a rd or ought to hear nine at
sea, for eight bells are as fixed in
limit as the decalogue ; but this was
promised, Whet r the conditions
failed to co-or u ut I cannot say,
but though the bell was watched by
,all sorts and conditions of men, the
‘occult ceremony was never performed
for onr benefit. It is necessary to add
that by report it was a common event
in the other ships mentioned.
The proverbial desertion of sinking
ships by rats is founded upon reason,
and undoubtedly occurs, for as rats
like to prowl about dry-footed, and
will stick to one place so long as food
is plenty, it is probable that the ship
they leave is so leaky and unseaworthy
that their under-deck work is too wet
t° su *t them,
Kills at Two Miles,
The Ivrag-Jo rgensen rifle, which has
been adopted for use in the United
States array, was selected as the best
gun out of fifty-three different models,
The gun weighs ^the eight pounds, and is
said to have capacity to kill a man
at a distance of two miles. It is a
breech-loader, and has a magazine
which will carry five cartridges. The
ball having a speed of 2000 feet per
second and smokeless powder being
US ed, it is claimed the bullet will kill
a man before the sound of the dis
charge can reach him. The peculiar
feature of the new rifle which strikes
the observer is the amount of wood
and the comparatively small amount
of metal which is displayed. The reason
assigned for the innovation is that tho
barrel of the gun becomes hot from
rapid firing and the wood is a protec
tion to the hand of the soldier. The
cartridge is quite small, but is larger
than tho bore of the rifle. It is
estimated that the soldier can carry
175 or 200 rounds of the new arntnu
nition. The bullet is covered by nickel
or steel instead of lead. The’ rifle is
provided with a knife-blade bayonet.
The first issue of the new arm will be
made to tw r o companies of the Second
Infantry at Omaha. The second issue
will be made to the Fourth Infantry
at Fort Sheridan. The entire infantry
force will be supplied by next fall,
and the cavalry will be next supplied,
The old arms will be turned into the
Government to be distributed among
the various States.—Detroit Free
Press,
A Polar Bear’s Paradise.
The favorite food of the Polar bear
is the flesh of seals, sea-lions, walruses,
fish and dead whales. Of all seal-hunt¬
ers, ho is the most successful. Instead
of being obliged to stalk his game on
the ice, in plain sight, he can hunt like
a crocodile. He takes to the water,
swims slowly up, with only his nostrils
and eyes at the surface, and before the
seal, watching landward, is aware of
his danger, his clumsy body is fairly
within the hungry jaws of the “tiger
of the ice,” as Dr. Kane called him.
But strange as it may appear, the
Polar bear does not live by flesh alone.
In their Alaskan travels, Mr. Henry
W. Elliott and Lieutenant Maynard
once chanced to visit St. Matthew
Island, a lonely bit of land in Bering
Sea, about half-way, between the strait
and the Aleutian Archipelago. There
they found between 250 and 500 Polar
bears, basking in the warm lap of sum¬
mer, shedding their winter coats, lazily
eating and sleeping, and growing fat
on the roots of the small flowering
plants and mosses that abounded. As
the explorers’ boat approached the
shore, a score of bears where in sight
at one time. The bears literally pos¬
sessed the island, “grazing and rooting
about like hogs in a common.” In
spite of their numbers they could not
be induced to fight, but always rau
when approached, either in “a swift,
shambling gallop, or trotting off like
elephants.” They were fond of sleep¬
ing in the sun on sheltered hillsides
“soundly,but fitfully,” saysMr.,Elliott,
“rolling their heavy arms and legs
about as they dozed. ” After shooting
half a dozen specimens in the tamest
manner, the two explorers decided to
kill no more ; for, by reason of shed¬
ding, their furry coats were worthless.
One that was shot hy Lieutenant May¬
nard measured exactly eight feet in
length of head and body together, and
its weight was estimated at between
1000 and 1200 pounds.—St. Nicholas.
IIoav to Lire a Century.
First, live as much as possible on!
of doors, never letting a day pass with¬
out spending at least three or four
hours in the open air.
Second, keep all the powers of mind
and body occupied in congenial work.
The muscles should be developed and
the mind kept active.
Third, avoid excesses of all kinds,
whether of food, drink or of whatever
nature they may be. Be moderate in
all things.
Fourth, never despair. Be cheer¬
ful at all times. Never give way to
anger. Never let the trials of one day
pass over to the next.
The period from fifty to seventy-five
should not be passed in idleness or
abandonment of all work, Here is
where* a great many men fall. They
r 3sign all care and interest in worldly
affairs and rest of body and mind be¬
gins. They throw up their business
and retire to private life, which in too
many cases proves to be a suicidal
policy.
During the next period—the period
from seventy-five to one hundred years,
while the powers of life are at their
lowest ebb—one cannot be too careful
about catching cold. Bronchitis is a
most prolific cause of death in the aged.
During this last period rest Bhould be
in abundance.
Anybody who can follow these direc¬
tions ought to live to be one hundred
years old at least. There is always
: comfort, however; if cannot live
j we
up to our ideas always, we can at least,
try our best to do so, and the steady
! effort will be bringing us constantly
nearer them.—New York World.
i The Camel Dullard Among Animals.
j a
Although long a captive, and for
ages, perhaps, the most serviceable of
all the creatures which man has won
from the wilds, the camel is still only
partly domesticated, having never ac
quired even the small measure of affec
tion for his master which we find in
the other herbivorous animals which
have been won to the service of man.
The obedience which he renders is but
a dull submission to inevitable toil,
The intelligence which he shows is
very limited, and so far as I can judge
irom the accounts of those who have
observed him, there is but little varia
tion in his mental qualities. As a
whole, the creature appears to be in
nstely the dullest and least improve*
' ■i-3 of all our servitors.—Scribner.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES \ FROM
i. VARIOUS SOURCES. t
9n the Piazza—The Cheerful. Idiot
Reported Conversations—Tho
Characterization—Diag¬ /
nosis, Etc., Etc. »
She sat on the steps at the evening tide.
Enjoying the asked« balmy air. “May sltYat
He came and I your
side?” !
And she gave him a vacant stair.
s
REPORTED CONVERSATIONS.
“Do you like me?” asked the key¬
hole.
“I have a fellow feeling, for you,”
replied the key.—Puck. *
POOR.
Irate Father—“When I* die I shall
leave you without a penny.”
Calm Son—“Certainly. ‘ You can’t
take monoy along you know. ”—Truth.
DIAGNOSIS.
Has that horse a pedigree?” asked
the tourist.
“Nope,” replied the farmer ; “noth
in’ but the heaves.”—Washington
Star.
NOT TO BE RETURNED.
Briggs—*‘Gander „ . , seems to . . be very
happy his newly married life
Griggs—“He ought to be. All of
his wedding presents were given him
by people already married.”—Judge.
THE CHEERFUL IDIOT.
“Where have you been?” asked tho
cheerful idiot.
“Been holding an inquest,” replied
the coroner.
“On the deid?”—Indianapolis Jour
nal.
AFTER HER OWN HEART.
Cobwigger—“1 hear Winthrop is
building a house for his bride, aud
allows her to superintend things.”
Merritt—“He did until he saw she
was making it nothing but closets. ”—
Truth.
A PERFECT GEM.
Mr. Gotham—“Is that suburban
cottage that you are advertising really
desirable?”
Agent—“Desirable? Why, sir, it’s
painted in sixteen colors.’’—Now York
Weekly.
A CASE OF DISGUST.
“Been out to your grandmother’s
funeral again, eh?” asked the boss.
“Naw,” said the office boy, who had
seen the home team lose. “I seen a lot
of ole women git killed off, dough. ”
—Indianapolis Journal.
THE CHARACTERIZATION.
Mr. Wudby—“You and I get along
famously, Dolly. I’m not very hard to
please, am I?”
Little Dolly (who has an attractive
sister of twenty)—“No; I heard sister
say you were very soft.”
AVOULD TRY IT LATER,
Visitor—“Well, Tommy, do you
think you will ever be President of the
United States?”
Tommy—-“Oh, I dunno. Mebbe I’ll
try for it after I get too old to bo a
pitcher. ”—Indianapolis Journal.
couldn’t escape.
“Didn’t that song fairly carry yon
away ?” said Mrs. Cnmso to her hus¬
band, as the soloist resumed her seat.
“Indeed it didn’t,” was Mr. Cumso’s
reply. “If it had I would not have
comeback again.”—Harper’s Bazar.
PATRIOTISM.
“Johnny,” said the young man.
“what is your idea of patriotism?”
“Patriotism,” replied the boy, after
some thought, “is what makes ye hol¬
ler for the Washington nine when it’s
in eleventh place.”—Washington Star.
MUSHROOM ARCHEOLOGY.
“Old Scroggins’s new place up in
the Adirondacks has a hundred acre
lawn around the house.”
“But I heard him say he was dis¬
satisfied with it. ”
“Yes; the plumbing in the old Nor
mon ruin on the grounds is not up to
contract. ”—Puck.
a perverse doll.
Little Dot—-“I wish my doll didn’t
have such red cheeks and such a
round face.”
Mamma—“3he is very pretty.”
Little Dot—“Yes, but when I play
she is awful sick au' mos’ dyin’, she
always looks so fat an’ healthy I can’t
feel worried over her a bit.”—Good
News.
HOW HE CAME OUT.
“So you went on an excursion to the
races, did you?”
“Yes.”
“Bet anything?”
“Of course.”
“Come out ahead?”
“No; I came out a-foot,” and a
glance at the dust-covered garments
gave proof of the assertion.—Atlanta
Constitution.
ECCENTRIC.
“My father, by the way,” said
Spooksby, “is one of the most eccen
trie of men. Do you known that that
man actually has not cut his hair for
ten years.”
“Yon don’t sav so,” said his victim.
“What’s the trouble?”
“Oh,” replied Spooksby reflectively,
“he’s been bald-headed ever since
1884 !”—Philadelphia Life.
FEEGLE TALKED IN HIS SLEEP.
First t- * Burgl r rk tl hear some
.
man talking.
Second Burglar-“What s he say
lD
w- First * x> Burglar , Tna t he never will
bet on another horse as long as he
lives. ”
Second Burglar—“Let’s get out of
this! No money here ; he’s lost every
cent.”—Puck.
MAKING THE BEST OF IT.
urn The xt Maiden- « a ‘Did i you tell „ your
^ ®?i S ^ ent?
The Youth I did.
The M.— And didn t she sav you
were throwing yourself away ? Come,
tell the truth.”
The Y. —“She did.”
The M. — “That’s just what mother
said to me when I told her I was go
ing to marry yon. Lot us join in
mutual eondolement. ”—New York
Press.
smrs THAT TASS IN THE NIGHT.
“What kind of a ship is that?” she
asked, as a vessel crossed the moon’s
track while they were gazing out up¬
on the sea.
“That is a schooner yacht,” he re¬
plied.
“Ah!” she murmured, “how I
should like to have a schooner yacht.”
“Well,” said he, “as you cannot
have a schooner yacht, what, do you
say to a little smack?” and ho suited
the action to tho word, and she avwi
satisfied.—New York Press.
A FtNE IDEA.
“Hooray!” cried the snmmer hotel
keeper. “I have it!”
“You have what?” inquired hii
wife.
“An idea—a bonanza,” was tho nu
swer. “Something that will make tho
hotel the most popular one in all tho
land. I’ve been looking up a novelty,
yon know, so as to advertise it, and at
tract people when I open iu June.”
“Yes.”
“Well, how’s this?” And lie held
up i an advertisement describing tho
b ft „ tie8 and advantages of his hostel
’ whiie below, iu prominent letters,
*
a 8 d l d ’
“Engagement rings will bo loaned
to guests for the season.”
“Xhore!” cried the hapyy man.
“That will bring tho men !”■—Harper’*
Magazine.
BUYING A GLASS OF SOL
“Ah,” said the young man to him¬
self, as ho caught sight of a sign which
read, “Soda Water, all flavors, 5
cents,” “I will even buy mo some.”
He sat down in front of tho soda
water dispenser, and that functionary
asked:
“What flavor, please?”
“All flavors.”
The clerk was surprised at the an¬
swer at first, and then, supposing that
the customer was asking a question,
but had neglected to add the verbal
interrogation point, replied :
“Yes, sir, we have all flavors.”
“That’s what I want.”
“Well, which one?”
“All.”
“All?”
“That’s what I said, Your sign
there informs customers that they can
have all flavors of soda water for fivo
cents, and I want to go clear through
the list. ”
“A glass of each kind will cost,you
an even dollar, for tliero arc twenty
flavors.”
“That isn’t what your sign says. It
says all flavors for five cents, and I de¬
mand the fulfillment of its promise.
It is in fho nature of a contract. You
agree to give mo all flavors of soda
water for five cents. Here is a nickel.
It seems cheap to get twenty glasses
of soda water for one-twentieth of a
cent a glass, but it is you who fixed
the price, not I. Y r ou may as well be¬
gin to draw that soda, for I demand
the fulfillment of that promise on tho
sign.”
“You want soda water with every
flavor we have, and for fivo cents, do
you?”
“I do.”
“All right.”
There was a wicked leer in the drug
clerk’s eye as he took up a glass and
went from end to end of tho soda
fountain, taking from each tap a few
drops of the flavor it contained, The
(fizzing soda was then introduced into
the mixture, and the concoction was
set before the customer.
He tasted it, but seemed not to like
it. Then he put his five-cent-piece on
the counter and walked hurriedly out.
The clerk wore a triumphant smile,
but next day the sign was altered to
read:
“Soda water, any flavor, 5 cents.
—Philadelphia Life.
The Torch Fish.
The recently published account of
the torch fish lias roused the interest
of the Electrical Review. In response
to inquiries from the editors, Profes¬
sor G. Brown Goo le, of the Smith¬
sonian, as reported in tho Review,
wrote as follows: The subject of
phosphorescence in dee.) sea fishes is
one Avhioh is but little understood,
although many conjectures have been
made in regard to it. If you will
consult Yol. XXIL of the “Report of
Her Majesty’s Steamship Challenger,”
which you will doubtless find in any
of the large New York libraries, you
will find a very exhaustive article by
Doctor Vau Lendenfeid upou this
subject. It is not positively known
that the organ on the nasal filament
of Linophryne is luminous, although
it appears probable. The idea that the
fish has tho power of illuminating it
at pleasure, is, so far as I know,
purely conjectural, the idea having
been suggested by Dr. Gunther, of
the British Museum. 1 think no one
has seriously supposed that the phos¬
phorescence is due to an electrical
shock.
Almost a Per ect Climate. '* }
The climate of the Sierra, althoug’ 1
not so very pleasant on account effw
wi “ ds > ls extremely salubrious,
tUe , h eat becoming enervating,
never
aS d °, es not exceed ninety degrees,
, A ohts deliciously cool,
T Lung 16 diseases v e ni are uukuowu, and
are the
sw “ tar y condition ot the Sierra may
perhaps be inferred from the reply of
°W American doctor, Avho lives in
no ,.T al “ ost ahaQdoQetl mining
1 , Ouadalupe-y-Calvo. When I
asked , him to give his experience to
as
the^ ‘'Well, health here of in the the people he said;
distressingly healthy. mountains, it is
i ete defiance of Despite a corn
p rangement ever? Y hygienic ;* ar
. th gr eyard( a
tannery and the sewers at the river’s
e dge, no diseases originate here.”—
Scribner
Smoking Through the Snoir.
In the snowy regions of the Hima,
layas, it is said, Jittle smoking fun*
^ 800W &t
the end of which '
bacco, while is placed some to
to the other the mouu
taineers place their mouths and lying
flat on their stomachs, inhale the
smoke.