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DEVOTED TO NEWS, POLITICS) LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE AND GENERAL PROGRESS—INDEPENDENT IN ALL THINGS)
VOL. X.
$2 OO a Year in Advanee.
Arrival ©f Trains nl (iroones
lioro’ lleiMil.
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN.
From Atlanta, . . IR‘- A. M.
From Augusta, . . 1:10 P. SI.
NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN.
From Atlanta • . , 8:33 A. SI.
From Augusta, . . . 1:14 A. SI.
Slav 20 11. 11. ICING, Agent.
Railroad Schedule.
Arrival ami Departure of Trains.
Georgia Railroad.
Day Passenger Train.
Leave Augusta, 8.4-1, a. m.
Leave Atlanta, 7:GO, a. ni.
Arrive at Atlanta, f>:4l, p. m.
Arrive at Augusta, 3:30, p. m.
Night Passenger Train.
Leave Augusta, 8:15, p. m.
Leave Atlanta, 10:30, p. m
Arrive at Atlanta, 6:25, a. ni.
Arrive at Augusta, 8.T5, a. ni.
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN.
Leaves Atlanta, 5:00 p. m.
Leaves Stone Mountain, 0:45 a. nv
Arrives Atlanta, 8:00 a. m.
Arrives Stone Mountain, 6:15 p. m.
S. K. JOHNSON, Sup’t.
Western A. Atlantic R R
AND ITS CONNECTIONS.
—“K ENNESAW ROUT E.”—
The following Schedule takes effect Slay
23d, 1875:
NORTHWARD.'
No 1. No 3. Noll.
Lv Atlanta, 4 20pm 7 00am 380 pm
Ar Cartersville, 6 14pm 0 22am 7 10pm
Ar Kingston, G 42pm 9 66am 8 21pm
Ar Dalton, 8 24pm 11 54am 11 JBpm
Ar Chattanooga,lo 25pm 156 pm
SOUTHWARD.
No 2. No 4, No 12.
Lv Chattanooga, 4 00pm 5 00am
Ar Dalton, 5 41pm 7 01am 1 00am
Ar Kingston, 7 38pm 9 07am 4 10am
Ar Cartersville, 8 12pm 9 42am 6 18am
Ar Atlanta. 10 15pvi 12 06m 0 30am
Pullman i'a. .ee Cars run on Nos. 1 and
2, between New Orleans and Baltimore.
Pullman Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 ami
8, between Atlanta and Nashville.
Pullman Palace Cars run on Nos. 3 and
2, between Louisville and Atlanta.
change of cars between New
Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Atlanta and
Baltimore, and only one cliango to New
York.
Passengers leaving Atlanta at 4:10 pm,
arrive in New York the second afternoon
thereafter at 4:00 pm.
Excursion Tickets to the Virginia Springs
and various Summer Resorts will be on sale
in New Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Co
lumbus, Macon, Savannah, Augusta and
Atlanta,at greatly reduced rates Ist of June.
Parties desiring a whole car through to
the Virginia Springs or to Baltimore,
should address the undersigned.
Parties contemplating traveling should
sand for a copy of the Kcnnesaw Route Ga
zette, containing schedules, etc.
JQy Ask for Tickets via “ Kennesaw
Route.” B. W. WRENN,
Gen’l Pass, and Ticket Agent, Atlanta, Ga
MASONIC.
San Marino Lodge, Xu. it 1.
GREENESBORO', GA.
’Regular Meetings—First Wednesday
night of each month.
M. MARKWALTER, Sec’y.
Greencsltoro’ It. A. C., \. 37
GREENESBORO’, GA.
Regular meeting—Third Fiiday night of
each month. C. C. NORTON, Sec’y.
Union Point Lodge, \o. SOO.
UNION POINT, Ga„
Meets regtilarly the 2d and 4th Thursday
day evenings in each month.
W. O. MITCIIELL, Sec’y.
Fjssb. 4, 1875—tf
Greene Lodge. Vo, 41, 1 O O F.
GREENESBORO’, GA.,
Meets regularly every Monday night.
J. R. GOD KIN, N. G.
D. S. Holt, R S.
Grecnesborougli Lodge. Vo,
820, Independent Older Good Templars,
meets at Odd Fellow’s Hall, on 2d and 4th
Friday nights in each month.
J. HENRY WOOD, W. C.
G. W. Millf.r, Sec’y.
l’ er day at home,
tpiwv Terms free. Ad
dress G. STINSON & Cos . Portland, Maine
Jan 21, 1875—1y *
®ljc (Srcenrslioro’ llcralii.
BUSINESS CARDS.
JAMES B. PARK,
ZTZSH"
AND—
COUNSELOR AT LAW,
GREENE SIT Oli O', - - - GA.
WILL give prompt attention to all bu
siness intrusted to his professional
care, in the Counties of Greene, Morgan,
Putnam, Baldwin, Hancock and Taliaferro.
OP’Ofllee— With Hon. Philip B. Rob
inson. april 8,1875 —6ms
M. SY. LEWIS } <( 11. G. LEWIS.
HI. W. Lewis & Soil,
Attorneys ni Law,
UKEEXESHOItm UH, - Cl.
april 8,1875-1 y
Philip B. Robinson,
Attorney at Law,
GREENESBORO’. . . . GA.
\V7ILL give prompt attention to business
' ' entrusted to his professional care.
Feb. 20, 1873—6 ms
Wm. H. Branch,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
GRF.ENEBBORO’, A.
f CONTINUES to give his undivided atten
l J tion to the practice of his Profession.
Returning thanks to his clients for llieir
encouragement in the past, he hopes by
’.lose application to business to merit a con
tinuance of the same.
ItSgtfOffice over Drug Store of Messrs. B.
Torbert & Cos.
Greenesboro’ Jan 16th 1874—1 y.
11. E. W. PALMER,
Attorney at taw,
CREEYESBOR©’, - - - GA.
ALL business intrusted to him will ro
ceive personal attention.
H&-OFFICE—(With Judge Heard,) in
TUeP > -t.u *:!<'. 'vjiorft he l e fWiiul
during business hours. 0ct.15,’74 -tr
IV. W. LUMPKIX.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
UNION POINT, - - Ga
OFFERS his professional services to the
people of Greene anil adjoining coun
ties, and hopes, by close attention to busi
siness to merit and receive a liberal share of
patronage. jan23 '74 —ly.
Medical Card.
Drs. BODKIN & HOLT,
HaVING associated themselves in the
Practice of Medicine, respectfully tender
their services to the citizens of Gbeexes-
Bono’ and surrounding country.
March 4, 1875—tf
Or. Win. Morgan,
RESIDENT
GREENESBORO’, GA.
feb. 1, 1874.
T. MARK WALTER,
Marble Work^
BROAD Street, AUGUBA, Ga.
MARBLE Monnmen s, Tomb-stones>
Marble Mantles, and Furniture Mar
ble of all kinds, from the plainest to the
most elaborate, designed and furnished to
order at short notice. All work for the
country carefully boxed. n0v2,1571 —tf
CENTRAL HOTEL.
BY
Mrs. W. JI. THOMAS,
AUGUSTA, Ga-
Jan. 21—Iy.
JEWELRY!
VUnSHIXG to devote myself entirely to
T V tlie legitimate business of Clock
and Watch Repairing, from this date, I of
fer my entire Stock of Watches and Jewel
ry at cost, finding that it interferes too
much with the business I prefer.
M. MARKAVALTFH,
Greenesboro’, Ga., Sept. 24, 187-4—tf
Sale or Rent.
A. fine farm containing (80) eighty
acres, (50 acres original forest), within two
miles of Greenesboro. Apply to
feblltf. W. M. WEAVER.
FOR SALE.
V Light two-horse CARRIAGE and
Harness—all new.
T. X. POI LL4IV.
Greenesboro’, Ga. June 18—1874, tf
GREENESBORO’, GA., THURSDAY, JULY 8, 1875.
POET’S CORNER.
THE MOTHERLESS.
God help nnd shield the motherless,
The stricken, bleeding dove—
For whom there gushes no rich fount,
Of deep and deathless love 1
Tho saddest title grief confers—
For one so lone as they,
Upon whose path a mother's love
Sheds not its holy ray !
No gentle form above them bends
To sooth the couch of pain—
Nor voice so fond as hers, essays
To calm the feverish brain.
Oli, other tongues may whisper love,
In accents soft and mild ;
But noneon earth so pure as that
A mother bears a child.
Judge kindly of the motherless—
A weary lot is theirs.
And oft the heart the gayest seems,
A load of sorrow bears.
No faithful voice directs their steps,
Or bids them onward press,
! ‘And if they gang a keunin, wrang.’’
God help the motherless I
And when the sinful and the frail,
The tempted and the tried,
Unspotted one ! shall cross thy path,
Oli, spurn them not aside.
Thou know st not what thou had'sf been
With trials even less—
And when tliy lips would vent reproach,
Think, they were motherless !
A blessing on the motherless,
Where’r they dwell on earth,
Within tho home of childhood,
Or at the straflger’s hearth!
Blue be the sky above their heads,
And bright the sun within,
0 God, protect the motherless,
And keep them free from sin !
miscellaneous!*
REM I.Y ISCEYCEN OF DIS
TIAGI ISnKD HEX.
An Interview with Col. Lewi*
Elzey, Year Aiken, 9. C.
[From the Edgefield Advertiser.]
Reporter —What is your age Col.
Elzey ?
“ I atn 83 years old—was born in
Virginia before the Revolutionary War
—was a Lieutenant in the regular
army during the war of 1812—en
camped at Lower Sandusky on Lake
Erie during the naval fight of Com,
Perry —could hear the guns and see
the smoke but could net see the ves
sels.”
Rep —You arc not a graduate of
West Point, how did you get a com
mission in the regular army?
“ Well, at that timo there were not
more than four or five graduates in the
whole army. Scott was not a gradu
ate. I got my commission by the re
commendation of a member of Con
gress.”
Rep—Did you return to private life
after tho close of the war ?
“ Yes, I went back to Virginia."
Rep —You knew many of the cele
brated men of your State ?
“I knew Jefferson, Monroe, Chief
Justice Marshall, John Randolph and
others. When President Monroe re>
turned to Virginia, his term as Pre9i
dent having expired, he took the posi
tion of Magistrate in Loudon County
and acted for a good many years) but
the office of Magistrate in those days
was always filled by men of talent and
eminent character —not like the d—d
Trial Justices of these days, for they
are the greatest curses in the annals of
time. The oldest Magistrate of the
County, in those days, became Sheriff,
although they never occupied the posi
tion, but farmed it out and gave the
proceeds to charitable purposes. I
j knew Jefferson by sight; ho frequent
|ly came up in the country where I
lived, near Winchester. He was very
popular with the common people. Chief
Justice Marshall was a very plain man
in his dress and manners—very much
like Chancellor Harper of this State. I
have often seen him with his knee
buckles loose, flapping about his legs,
and sometimes half of his coat tail
would bo off. Wc used to laugh at him
about helping an old woman catch her
chickens, who had brought them to
town for sale. They got out of her
basket and Jlr. Marshall ran all over
the streets to catch them for her."
Rep —Did Chief Justice Marshall
have any brothers?
“ Yes, Charles and Jim Charles
was dissipated Jim was immensely
wealthy but would never hold any
office.”
Rep—Was not this plainness of dress
affeeted by Mr. Marshall?
“No; all the Marshalls were that
way. Jim Marshall dressed his chil
dren so badly that they onco complained
to my father that they were not dressed
as well as the other children in the
neighborhood. My father spoke to Jim
about it, and ho said : ‘ Oapt. Elzey,
people know that Jim Marshall is rich
—very rich—and what is the use for
him to dress his children so fine ? You
can spoil children very easily. When
you used to come to my 'father’s house
I have many a time hunted eggs for
your dinner in my shirt tail.’ Chief
Justice Marshall once sent word to a
Mr. Duvall, with whom he was not
personally acquainted, that ho and
family would dine with him on a cer
tain day. When the day arrived, Mr.
Marshall rode on before and his car
riage with family came on behind.
When he reached Mr. Duvall’s house,
he asked if he could get dinner. Du
vail said : ‘ No, you can't get dinner;
I am expecting Judge Marshall and
family to dinner, and as they are very
fine people I should not like to present
you to them.’ The Chief Justice re
sponded that he knew Mr. Marshall’s
family very well and he believed he
would stop anyhow. Duvall was very
much taken down when he found that
his ordinary looking guest was the
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of
the Uuited States.”
Rep—When did you come to South
Carolina ?
“ I came to Charleston, S. C., in
181 G, with a drove of horses, made lots
of money on them, and got ou a spree,
Horses were worth more then than
they are now, that is, fine horses. Fine
horses are worth more in Kentucky
than they are here. When I first came
tu KugcueiG, in loio, there -<> plenty
of game in the woods; we once, in a
camp hunt, killed eleven deer on
Shaw's Creek. Thera was a paper pub
lished at Edgefield then by Mr. Land
rum, called 1 The Hive.’ ”
Rep Who were the lawyers at
Edgefield in 181 G, and what kind of
lawyers were they ?
“There was Glascock, Edmund Ba
can, Jeter, Eldrcd Simkius, and Mc-
Duffie. Edmund Bacon was a fine
speaker, graceful in manners and ges
ture, very cuuning in his arguments,
and had the most musical voice I have
ever heard. Eldred Simpkins was a
book-worm. Jeter was Solicitor, and
a very sensible, practical and short
speaker. McDuffie was a great orator,
but he was awkward in his manners in
private, aDd got very much excited in
speaking —sawed the air with his hands.
Glascock was a forcible speaker, but
never studied his cases—used fre
quently to bunt foxes all the morning
and make an argunent in the evening.
I never knew him to study but one
ease, and that was a case he hud in
Beaufort, in which he defended a man
by the name of Spavins against a man
by the name of Spikes. He went
down to Court three days beforehand,
and there heard for the first time that
Petigru and Billy Martin (Judge W.
D. Martin) were on the other side.
* and by G—d,’ said he, ‘ I had to
study.’ I remember one remark he
made to the jury : ‘ Spikes, gentlemen
of the jury, is the plaintiff in this suit,
and he has tried to spike this case, not
with ten-penny nails either, but if you,
gentlemen, don’t spike Spikes, I am
mistaken.’ He gained his case Na
than Griffin cau.e to the bar after
wards, about 1824. I think he was in
partnership with Judge Butler, and
never made a speech until after they
dissolved, and they were partners ten
or twelve years. Mr. Griffin then be
came one of the most effective jury
lawyers in the State. llis style was
conversational, which always wins in
the long. run. Mr. Griffin was a good
judge of human nature and an excel
lent examiner of witnesses; he was
very punctilious and systematic. I was
not a great admirer of Mr. Calhouu.
Mr. Griffin once said to me, ‘ Elzey,
Calhoun is ten years ahead of his age.’
‘ Well,’ said I, ‘ if he is that far ahead j
I shan’t try to catch him.’ Judge Gant
used to hold court in Edgefield when I
first came here. He was a fancy man.
I remember be onoe lectured on tem
perance while he lived at Mt. Vintage
—met me the next day— 1 Eizey,’ said j
he, 1 1 didn’t mean that lecture for you .
I but for them d—d A’s. in your neigh
borhood ; for the drunker they get the
more religion they have.”
Choice iu Literature.
It has been truly observed that as a
man may bo judged by the company he
keeps, so he may be by the books he
reads. Every book carries with it its
own peculiar atmosphere, just as does
every person, and it is no more possible
for one to take equal pleasure in all
books than it is to enjoy the sooioty of
every person one meets. There are
somo authors whom, by a law of selec
tion that is as commanding as instinct,
wa take at once to our hearts, and de
light in their companionship. There
are others whom we find it pleasant to
read occasionally, just as we have a
good many acquaintances who are
agreeable, but with whom intimacy is
neither possible nor desirable; and
there aro still others whom we would
always pass by on the other side.
There is no one so peculiar in his men
tal constitution that he may not by
searching find just the author to sym
patbize with him; to go with him in
those trains of thought and of feeling
that predominate in his mind. Not
only have we authors for our prevail
ing moojs, but for every varying
phase of sentiment and thought and as
piration we may, if wo know where to
seek it, find an interpreter. The fact
that an author is the fashion is no rea
son why one should keep his company
if it is found uncongenial. There are
great numbers of people who think
Dickens tedious and have little relish
for Thackeray, yet who arc by no
means destitute of literary culture. To
some Ruskin is severe and harsh in his
stylo, while others delight in every
syllable he utters. Any one who in
dorses heartily the morality of the
New Testament may bq trusted to read
what he enjoys, and rest iD the oonvic
tion that this course will educate him
up continually to higher standards
The fact that we do not enjoy an au
thor is no reason why we should nover
read his works, any more than tho fact
that we do not fancy certain individu
als should prevent us from availing
ourselves of the knowledge, useful to
us, that they may possess. As the bee
seeks honey iu every opening flower
far and near, so should we gather from
near and far whatever may be of use to
us.
Columbus and tbc Egg.
Among tho popular errors of the
day is the story of Columbus, who,
finding it impossible to make an egg
stand on its end, crushed in the basis,
and thus made it stand. The goldfish
of Charles 11. was accepted as impon
derable by many wise heads without
experiment, (if, indeed, it ever had a
being,) and the 6tory of Columbus and
the egg is supposed to be based on the
physical axiom that it is impossible to
make an egg stand on its end. Yet,
five minutes careful balancing will con
vince any dexterous experimenter that
an egg may be made to stand, and re
main balanced on its end, without
breaking the shell. All that is re
quired is steadiness of band, and per
haps a little patience. And 31. Dele
pierro mentions that “ the fable of the
egg that he is said to have broken, in
order to make it stand upright, has
been disproved by 31. Humboldt, in
his Examcn Critique de l'Historic de
la Geographic.” llogarth, it will be
recollected, has made “ Columbus and
the Egg ” the subject of one of his ad
mirable illustrative prints. Now, if
Vasari is to be credited, tho Florentine
architect, Brunelleschi, many years be-
fore Columbus was bom, performed the
1 egg feat relative to his intended cupola
for the Church of Santa 3laria del
Fiore, in Florence. The other archi
tects desired that Filippo should ex
plain his purpose more minutely* and
show his model, as they had done
theirs. This he Would not do, hut pro
posed to all the masters, foreigners and
compatriots, that be who could make
an egg stand upright on a piece of
.smooth marble should be appointed to
build the copola. since in doing that his
genius should be made manifest. They
took an egg accordingly, and all those
masters did their best to make it stand
upright, but none discovered the meth
od of doing so. Whereupon Filippo
being told that he might make it stand
himself, took it daintily into his hand,'
gave the end of it a blow on the plane
of the marble, and made it stand up
right. Beholding this, the artists
loudly protested, exclaiming that they
could all have done the same; but Fi
lippo replied, laughiDg, that they might
also know how to construct the cupola
if they had seen the model ami the de
sign. This occurred about A.D. 1420.
—[Historic Ninepins, by John Tinibs,
F.S.A.
■0 * • ••■'l
Ingenuity of n Rogue.
A capillary correspondence was re
cenlly attempted between a notorious
Parisian in durance vile and his com
rades outside. The prisoner was sent
a letter from his fiance, containing a
lock of hair wrapped in the leaf of a
hook. The jailor did not consider the
gift important enough to be delivered,
but after a few days came a similar in
closure, and yet another. This aroused
suspicion, and the governor took the
matter in hand. lie examined the
leaf of the book ; it was on'y that of a
common novel, twenty-six lines on a
page. Then he studied the hair, and
noticed the small quantity of the gilt.
Counting the hairs he found them of
equal length, and twenty six in num
ber, tbe same as tho lines of the page.
Struck with the coincidence, he laid
the hairs along the lines ot the page
which they respectively reached, be
ginning at the top with the smallest
hair. After some tronble he found
that the end of each hair pointed to a
different letter, and that these letters
combined formed a slang sentence,
which informed the prisoner that his
friends were on the watch and that the
next time he left the prison to be ex
amined an attempt would be made to
res.cue him. The governor laid his
plans accordingly ; tho attempt at res
cue was mado, hut the rescuers foil
into their own trap
The Valge ofTlme.
When the Roman Emperor said, “ I
have lost a day,” he uttered a sadder
truth than if he had have exclaimed, “I
have lost a kingdom.” Napoleon said
that the reason why he beat the Aus
trians was, that they did not know the
value of five minutes. At tho cele
brated battle of Rivoli, the conflict
seemed on the point of being decided
against him. He saw the critical state
of affairs, and instantly took his reso
lution. 110 despatched a flag to the
Austrian headquarters with proposals
for au armistice. The unwary Aus
trians fell into a snare. For a few
minutes tho thunders of battle were
hushed. Napoleon seized the precious
moment, and while amusing the enemy
with mock negotiations, rearranged his
line of battle, changed his front, and in
a few minutes was ready to renounce
the force of discussion for tho stern ar
bitration of arms. The splendid vic
tory of Rivoli was the result. The
great moral victories and defeats of the
world often turn on five minutes.
Crises come, the not seizing of which is
ruin. 3len may loiter, but time flies
on wings of the wind, and all the great
interests of life are speeding on, with
the sure and silent tread of destiny.
Gelling Ready to
Cliurcli.
If, instead of the closing anthem,
some of the ministers should, at the
close of the service, give the orders :
Attention worshippers, for bats dive!
for overcoats go! jerk, twist, plunge!
make yourself ridiculous all ! the effect
would hardly be a variation from the
present style of going out of church.
The singing of tho doxology scorns to
boa signal for a general putting on and
adjustment, and when the benediction
is about to be pronounced the ruffled
congregation look more like jumping
out of the windows or uniting in a
crushing or crowding race for the doors
than listeoipg to the solemn words of
the good pastor. At one of our well
filled churches on Sunday evening it
was observed that every third man was
going through these ridiculous motions
while the service was closing, although
the sermon had been excellent. Why
do not people wait until the proper
time for these things ? There is a time
for everything, but the time does not
always occur during church service.
— :t What kind of sassages is them ?”
queried an oil lady of the young man
of literature and peanuts, as he passed
through the train selling bananas
WIT m HUMOR
—A Schenectady girl at spoiling
school sat down on “ pantaloons.”
|H Qi
—The man who pronounces “Don
Quixote ” “ Donkeyhote ” shows a dis
position to intrude his own name tha*
is not commendable.
iiMP • 1—
—licv. Dr. Deems puts the ease
thus: “ .Remember Lot's wife, as the
Bible teaches, and forget every other
;man’s wife except yon own.”
—“ No,” said illrs. Dodgers, very
positively, “if I go into the country,
Mr. Dodgers goes with mo, Tins
city ain’t no safe place to leave a man
alone in.”
—An Illinois woman, who wanted to
go to a masquerade party as Mary,
Queen of Scots, looked through the
Bible to ascertain how the character
was dressed.
—A kind-hearted, peace-loving Bal
timore man painted his front ste 3
twenty-three times trying to please his
wife, and then she decided that the
first color was the best.
• —■
—A young lady, after reading atten
tively the title of a novel, called “ The
Last Man,” exclaimed, “ Bless me, if
such a thing should happen, what
would become of the women.
XBm
-r-A Newark girl hastened the de
parture of a lingering gentleman caTfer
the other evening by remarking as she
looked out of the window: “I think
wo shall have a beautiful sunrise.”
iHB gl—
—“ Will you have a small piece of
the light meat or a small piece of the
dark ?’’ asked Bob’s uncle as he carved
the turkey at dinner. “ I will take a
large piece of both,” answered Bob.
•
—Quin, the actor, being asked by a
lady, why there wore more women
men, replied : “It is ic conformity
with the ether arrangements of nature
—wc always see more of heaven than
of earth.”
—“ You Abe Linkum, tell Ren But
ler to bring Lisses Grant in out ob dat
sun dis minit, or I’ll tan you to death.
Dat chile might get sun-stroke for all
you Frogtown niggars ’ml keer.”
—An English clergyman exclaimed
in a company of his fellow preachers :
“ Ah, well, there is only one thing in
our ministrations more trying to me
than preaching.” “ Indeed,” they
said, “ and what is that?” “ Hearing
any one else do so,” he replied.
•mrn • —i
—A gypsy came to Rrigham l’oung
with a pony for sale. “ Why, tho
beast is half starve 1,” said Rrigham,
running his hand over the pony’s side.
“ You can count his ribs.” “ That’s
more’n a chap could do with yours,”
retorted the gypsy. Brigham did not
buy that pony.
—As a stranger was knocking at the!
door of a house, a boy camo around the
corner and inquired, l ' Got anything to
Sell?” “Yes, I want to sell your
mother a box of tooth paste.” “ Might
as well git off’n tbc steps,” continued
the boy, as a smile broke out around
bis mouth ; “ she’s got store teeth, and
she cleans ’em with a woollen rag 1”
-—A paragraph is going the rounds
of the newspapers to this effect : There
is one good wife in this country and
every man thinks he has her. Old
Brown, who is bald, and whose wife
has red hair and a wicked eye, read
this and murmured, as be meditatively
passed bis hand over his head, “ I
dunno ! Idunno!”
—An absent-minded professor in
going out the gateway of his college
ran against a cow. In the confusion o(
tho moment he raised his hat and ex
claimed, “ I beg your pardon, madam.’’
Soon after he stumbled against a lady
in the street. In a sudden recollection
of his former mi:hap he called out,with
a look of rage in his countenance, “ Is
that you again, you brute ?”
—Little Bessie is the five year-old
daughter of a Portland lady who mar>
ried a clergyman not long since. When
her father was away, and she was play
ing in the yard, a stranger came along
and inquired if the minister was at
homo. “ No,” she replied, “ but
mother is in the house, and she wil?
pray with you, you poor, miserable
sinner.”
NO. 27