The Hamilton weekly visitor. (Hamilton, Harris Co., Ga.) 1873-1874, February 07, 1873, Image 1

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The Hamilton weekly visitor., February 07, 1873, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextVOL. 1.-NO. 5. D. W. D- BOULLY, Pul *. <: tor. CASH SUBSCRIPTION' HATE3. •One copy one year... $2 00 Oae copy six mouths $1 00 One copy three mouths 75 Any oue furnishinar five, subscribe re, with the money, will receive n copy free. Subscribers wishing their papers changed from one post-office to another, must state the name of tM post-office from which they wish it changed, ns well as that to which they wish it scut All subscription? must bo paid in advance. The paper will be stopped at the ehd of the time paid for, unless subscriptions are pre viousiy renewed. Fifty numbers complete the year. CASH ADVERTISING RATE3 Space I mo 3 trios | 6 tnos jIS mns i inch $2 60 s4,6u~troo $lO U.t 2 “ 450 725 11 00 13 00 3•• 500 9 Oil IS 09 22 00 4 “ 560 11 00 1* 00 27 00 l col GSO 14 00 25 00 35 00 1 col 112B0j 25 00 40 00 60 00 lcul |22 00 141 01 62 00 100 I'O Maniages and death*, not exceeding six lines, published free. Payments quarterly in advance according to schedule rates, unless otherwise agreed upon. Persons sending advertisements will state the lcng'U of time they wish th m published and the space they Want them to occupy. Parties advertising by contract for a given time, will lie charged bxtra for everything outside of their legitimate business. . LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS. * Sheriff's sales, per inch, four weeks. .$3 60 “ mortgage fi ta rules, per inch, eight weeks 5 50 Citation for letters of administration or guardianship, thirty da>s 3 00 Notice to and crcditois, iovty days f 5 00 Application for leave to sell land, four weeks -i 00 Sales of land, et , p- r inch, forty days 5 00 *• perishable propelty, per itch, tendaysT... .. 2 00 App'ieation for letters cf dismission front guaidianship, forty days... 5 00 Application for letters uf dismission from administration, time mouths 7 50 Establishing lost papers, the full space of three months, per inch ‘ 7 00 Compelling titles from executors or administrators, where'bond has been given l*y the deceased, the f ill space of three months, per it oh, 7 00 Estray notices, tldity days'. .... 3 to Rule for foreclosure of mortgage, four months, monthly, p<r inch 6 00 Sale of insolvent papers, thirty days. 3 00 Homestca I, two works 2 (HI - --'-J=u=-=g Business CarcLs LIVERY AND SALE” At tbe Brick Corner, Within twenty steps of the Car-shed, WEST POfNT, GA. W. L VILLLMffI, Proprietor. TIIOS. s" MITCHELL, M. D,~ Resident Physician and Surgeon, HAMILTON, GEORGIA Special attention i iven to Operative Sur girv anti treatment ot Chiouiu Lceases, ms cash. Jas. M. Motoloy tp7ill continue to practice law in all the Stale and Uniti and States Com te. Olticc, Hamilton, (10. H. A. H.ussell, ATTORNEY AT LAW, HAMILTON, GEORGIA ICT Special a'tcntion given to collodions. CHATTAHOOCHEE HOUSE, By J. T. IIIGGINBOTIIEM, WEST POINT, GA HEN II Y E. OA ME RON, Attorney at Law, HAMILTON, GA UK, J. W. CAMEIION, HAMILTON, GA. special attention to Midwifery. Charges modcrule. What makes a Bushel. ARTICLES. POUNDS. Dried Apples 2ii Bran 2U Haile* .4-* Beans 66 few Peas •* White Beans. 60 Castor-Beans 40 Buckwheat .' 52 btone 0‘ al ...80 Shelled Corn. 50 Corn in tuu ear In ftim M.-al ..'0 J*lu*tering Hair 3-i llimlacked Lime... t 0 .Parley Malt 3' OtXa 31 Otii'ins 50 Dried Peaches uupeeled 30 * peeled. 40 Millet Bced 60 Orcliarj} Oral Seed *...>4 Herd’s Oroga Seed 14 Irilt Potitoes. 00 4 Sweet P0tat0e5........ 60 Peas 60 Hye 56 lilue Grass Seed W Olutcr s.-ed K Klax Sml ... .56 Hemp >Sd O TimUhv Seed 43 Hungarian Seed ......45 '<-nrhe Salt 50 \.Fiu Salt 55 *4|ini|- 55 j Vat I ifnil I ;U I THE HAMILTON WEEKLY YISITOB. -IE SAVANSaIt'i .ft l. l Tbe SaVattuah 'Daily RJov,. News is acknowledged by tbe press and people to be the best daily paper south of Louisville and cast of New Orleans. Carrying with it the pres tige and reliability of age, it lias all the vigor and vitality of youth, and its enterprise as a gatherer of the la test and freshest news has astonished its contemporaries mill met tbe warm approbation of the public. During the year 1873, Do ex pense of time, labor, and money will be spent to keep the Morning News ahead of all competitors in Georgia journalism, and to deserve the flatter ing encomiums heaped upon it from all quarters. There has, as yet, been no seriotis attempt made to rival the telegrams which the News inaugura ted some years ago, and the conse quence is, that the reader in search of the latest intelligence alv. ays looks to the Morning News. The tele graphic arrangements of the paper afe shell that the omissions made by the general press reports are prompt ly and reliably supplied by its special correspondents. The Morning News has lately been enlarged to tt thirty-six column pa per, and this broad scope of type embraces, daily, everything of inter est that transpires in the domain of Literature, Art, Science, Politics, Re ligion, apd general intelligence ; giv ing to tire reader more and better di gested matter than any other paper in the State. It is, perhaps, needless to speak of the politics of the Morning News: For years and years—indeed, since its establishment—it has been a reprsen tativo Southern paper, and from that time lo the present, in all conjunc tures, it has consistently and persis tently maintained Democratic States Rights principles, and labored, with an ardor and devotion that know no abatement, to promote and preserve the interests and the honor of the South. The special features of the Morn ing News will be retained and im proved upon during the ensuing year, and several new attractions will be added. The Georgia news items, with their quaint and pleasant humor, and the epitome of Florida affairs, will lie continued during the year. The local deprutment will be, as itr has been for the past year, the most Complete and reliable to be found in ;myßavstinsli paper, and the cointuordml columns will be lull find accurate. The price of the Daily is SI 0,00 per annum; &5.00 for six months ; $2 50 for three months; SI.OO for one month. THE TRMVeKKI.Y NEWS. This edition of the Morning News is especially recommended to those who have not the facilities of a daily mail. Everything that has been said in the foregoing in regard to the daily edition may be repeated of the Tri-Weekly. It is made up with great care, and contains the latest despatches and market reports. The priee of this edition is £(5 00 per annttm, $3.00 for six months, $1.50 for three months. the weekly news. The Weekly Morning News par ticularly recommends itself to the fanner and planter, and to those who live off the lines of railroad. It is one of the best family papers in the country, and its cheapness brings it within the reach of all. It contains Thirty-six tolul columns of reading matter, and is mailed so as to reach subscribers with the utmost prompt ness. It is a carefully and labori ously edited compendium of the news of the week, and contains, in addition, an infinite variety of other choice reading matter. Editorials on all topics, sketches of men, manners and fashions, tales, poetry, biography, pungent paragraphs and condensed telegrams enter into its make-up. It contains the latest telegraphic dis patches and market reports up to the hour of going to press, and is, in all respects, an imlispcnsible adjunct to every lionie, .Price—j (me - year, (t 200 ; six months, $1.00; three months, 50 cents. Subscriptions for either edition of the Morning News may be sent by express at the risk ami expense of the proprietor. Address, J. 11. Estill, Savannah, Ga. E®” Notice is hereby given that, from this date, the legal advertising of Harris county will be published in the Hamilton Visitor. 15. 11. Williams Sheriff. J. F. (i. Williams, Ordinary. N. 11. Bakdkx, Clk. Sup. Ct. Hamilton, Ga., Jan. 29, 1873. THE WEEKLY SUN. ONLY $1 A YEAR. 8 PAGES. The Dost Family Paper; The litat Agricultural Paper; The Best Political Paper; The Best Story Paper; The Best Fashion Beports; The Best Cattle Market Beports; The Bpst Paper Every \V T ay. The Weekly New York Sun—B pages, 5(5 columns—sl a year, or less than 2 cents‘a number. Semi your dollar. Afnrens Tut: Sts, New York City. HAMILTON, HARRIS CO., GA., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1873. * IPISSJSS XPJESJtSS Of the many pens offered to the public, there are but few which have acquired the enviable reputation that CrideFs sdpefior pens have justly merited. They have received the hearty commendation of every prominent penman who lias ever harl an oppor tunity td give them a fair and impar tial trial. They have a very fine, smooth point, and are so tOnstrncted that they do not scratch like Borne fine pointed pens. Each small box bontains two dozen pens; each gross box contains six small boxes. Both the large and small boxes are rendered exceedingly convenient for opening and closing, when but one pen is wanted. In short, our pens arc gotten up in the very best style, combining every desirable quality, and we challenge competition. We offer the folio w ing varieties, viz: Grid r's Golhgt Pen —This is a very neat, elastic and durable pen.— Per gross $1 50; box of 2 dozen, 30c. Vruler's Normal Pen —This is a fine, firm pen—well adapted for gen eral use, correspondence, etc. Per gross, $1 25; box of two dozen, 25e. Grider's School Pew—-This pen is coarser than eit her of the above, and well adapted for schools. Per gross, in gross boxes, 75e; per gross, small boxes, It ; box of .wo dozen, 25c. Grider's Pus in ess Pen —'This is a large, firm pen. Price, per gross, in gross boxes only, $b Any of the above pens sent by mail, prepaid, on receipt of price. Address Crider & Bro., Publishers and Book sellers, York, Pa. ~ TRIED AND APPROVED! ~ ASTE) sup? STERLINGS St'Uihcrn Series ol School Books! 1, Sterling’s Southern Primer—in paper covers, 4S pages, per dozed, 00 cents; in boards, 48 pages, $1 08. 2, Sterling’s Soul hern Pictorial Primer, profusely illustrated with new and handsome wood cuts, and adapted as well for a gilt as a school book,’ with elegant illuminated cover —l2 mo, 00 pages, per dozen, $2 40. 3, Sterling’s Souihern Elementary Spelling Hook, pp. 128, per doaen sl. 4, Sterling’s Southern First Read er, 101 pages, 25 cents each. 5, Sterling’s Southern Second Rea der, 21(5 pages,-SO cents cacti. 0, Sterling’s Southern Third Rea dor, 240 pages, 60 cents each. 7i Sterling’s Southern Fourth Rea der, 312 pages, 60 cents each. 8, Sterling’s Southern Fifth Read er, 450 pages, $1 25 each. 9, Sterling’s Southern Little Ora tor, 142 pages, 60 cents each. 10, Sterling’s Southern Orator, 544 pages, $1 50 each. Sterling’s Southern Copy Rooks— nine numbers—per dozen $1 50. Published by J. W. Burke & Cos., Macon, Ga. jan3l GEORGIA —11a lulls County. John 1). Gillespie makes applica tion for letters of administration on the estate of William Culbreath, de ceased. All persons concerned are hereby notified to show cause, if any they have, ly the Ist Monday in March next, why said letters should not be granted. Given under my hand and official signature, this Jan. 29, 1873. J. F. C. Williams, jan.3l-30d Ordinary. ItaKtatai Tins tnrfjr Valnnblo Medicine has won it* into every household In the nation, anil i* conn* deialy recommended for the cure of DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPATION, 1 ANI) EVERY FORM OF INDIGESTION, CIIILLB, FEVERC, and all dincaww arising from Torpid lArer, For COtfSOTCPTION nnd CUBONIC COMBS, (V* TA22E, BS32ISHZTX3, and DEBILITY from nny dim e:we, it i* a safe, agreeable, ami reliable tonic. In al' (Ctwry and Bladder troubles it will be found btmeilcial. The purest and best Bourbon Whisky if corn* bhied with materials in this article Which jorru the MOST EFFECTIVE TONIC KNOWN, ALSO WA.Xjß:3m’s wruß HOLLAND SCHNAPPS, AN INVIGORATING CORDIAL. Tile nrvr iiiibvtic nxmr*. W. TI. WALKEIt & CO.. - Y'hoict*a!o Wine am! Liquor Dealers, (Tenerr.T Wholesale Agent*. £5 Main rtrintf, between Flint an<l Second, I-oui.wi.le, Kentucky. K. W. DUKES, BAB AND RESTAUBANT, Corner ef Gilmer and Bandolph Streets^ WEST POTNT, <SA. I'JT Also a first flies ImrUor stop and good .K i plug locma cuubkcnd witu tl<e tense My triends iu I lari U futility ate Inviiufto give ute a <ull arlnll lliey \ ‘i.l tt’vit l yiiii . For the Visitor. My Baby In the Skies. KV Mom a. There’s a low mettil'l In my garden Where llie'eml cm (toWere bloom; Wh.-ro tlie mock bird's note I? sO.-L-test; Where tlie irentle zephyrs cottiG; Where the violets watch with pity In their toft, dark, velvet eyes. So like those ’neath them buried, Ot zuy baby in the Skies. Otto year ago we laid him To rest, beneath the shade Of the willow mournful waving, As tlie lattist sunlieams stayed. And that place, pf others, to tUy heart Is bound by dearet ties; For tlietS sleeps t-11 that’s tnoriitl Ot my baby in the skies. Other childish forms are round me, Whose joyous laughter rings Through the old houlty making Wchoes, 15ut Ibfe sound nil p'easure brings For it cdls up saddest memoties, rco me as they rise Of the silveiy tones now silenced. Of my baby in the skies. lh tfii; gloaming of tlie twilight, As sad leeollection springs, 1 think I hear tlie flutter Of his tiny angel wings. Oh i thiuk you that our loVt-d and lost Heed not our mournful sighs ! My dearest, truest comforter, . Is tuy b iby in the skies. For its I, grieVing, raurmilf, He comes with golden I)ft}, And points my sad heart heavenward To the while-robed angel choir. Ami as I in fa:iev listen, Tlie wild yearning in me dies, For my taken earthly treasure, For my baby in th# skies. And then I fee! I ran resign', For these f.;W weaiy duys, Tbe smile—the kiss—tlie golden hah— 't he tender, winning ways. For I know that, truly, “it is well” With my darilrg, and I prize Beyond my life, the hope to go To my baby in tlie skies Plant Coax.—We insist upon singing this old tune again. It is perfectly disgusting, no doubt, to yonr friends; the planters, who know their business so much better than we do, hut we liko to be a nu’sance occasionally, and so we sing, “Plant, corn,’* by way of vnrety. What we know about farming can be put in one very short, chapter, hut it is long enough’to he wlip buys com to make cotton finds himself in the voeoinotivo when settling day comes. Brethren, we ha' been there and know where of we affirm. We can tell a man who has corn enough to last him till fall from one who hasn’t, half a mile off. The corn man cocks his hat on one side and swings along with a free'*Vid easy stride —there’s courage in his step and hope in his eye. The no-corn man has his hat pulled over his eyes and shambles along with a sloughing gait and a tide long look, as if lie ex pected every minute somebody would sing out: “ I know what ails you. You haven’t corn enough to last tid May.” lie takes the bray of any casual hungry or lonesome mule ns a petsotial reflection and can’t look the ciitter in the face, thinking lie is say ing to himself: There goes a cotton lunatic—may the devil fly away with him. Of such is the purgatory of my tribe. Wo don’t know any nian who lias gone to pot since the war through planting too much corn, but we do know a few who have traveled that road through an over dose of cotton. If there is any stronger argument on the corn side of the question’ wo haven’t been introduced to it, as yet. B®'* There is a tnan in Glen Falls, N. V., who wont believe any stories about the sagacity of dogs, lie save dogs have not common sense, hi proof of his assertion lie relates how lie- poured kerosene on a dog and set it on fire, just to have a little fan, ns lie was lonely during his wife’s ab sence. and that dog actually ran un der the barn bekgjging to him, and lay there and set the barn on firef though the man whistled to him to come out. Ids enough to make a man a lose faith ; n dogs. Gint.kr Bkub.—Boil five pound# of loaf sugar and three ounces of gin ger in three gallons ot water for one hour. When it is jcold odd the juice and peels of five hjnioim, and a ter of a ten cupful of yeast on a slice of toasted bread. la;t it stand in a tub coved with a thick doth two or three days. Then strain through a thick doth and bottle it. Ft will be fit for tier- in lour or five days after it is bottled. If wished to lie very strong of ginger, metre may be ad ded. An old gentleman of Alamance | county, N. C., MKowu something about the blessings <fa lime aud family. He has had four wives, eight daughters and one son, seventy three grandchildren, foitr hundred great grandchildren, fifty great-great grandchildren, fifteen great-great— great-grandchildren, and nine grent grealprcat-great-graiidchildrei). He thinks of marrying again. £3?” To get- a good wife—taka- a i good girl mid go to the pat sou.. bamlj’ Higgins and the Widow Horry. Gnc tiny sandy came to tny office and sat down without a word. For minutes in* sat still watching me in tently as if lie was frying to make out I*3' *he sound of tny pen what 1 was writing. “Squire,’’ said he at length,” did 1 ever tell you about tliy sorapo with the Widow Horry, up here on the river.” “ Never did,” said I, laying clown my pen, “let’s have it.” •‘They’re curious things, widows is,” said he in a meditative tone., “ and the more yon study about, ’em the more you dont know enything ’em. What is that thing I’ve read of in Egypt or some other tiofentry that nobod) cottld unriddle?’ 1 “The Sphynx, probably,’’ I re plied. “ Well ho coutiuucd, “that was a widow, fiiiro as you fever had a granny. Everything else on earth lias been found out but them, and they'le nS milch a mystery to-day as the North Pole. You may rend the history of the world from Genesis to Revelations, and you’ll find that wid ows has boon tit the bottom or tile lop of five quarters of all devilment that’s cut up. Was you over in love with one?” “ Lots of them,’’ said I. “You’re a great gander—that is what you aro ? said he. A mnn that loves oue nnd gets ovet it won’t nev er get bit by anothef, If he’s got as much sense ns a groutid hog. I don’t consideT that I’ve got any setiso at all, but I’m a little grain too smart lo let another oflnetn get all the trumps on me. This Willow Horry that I was speaking of, is little tiro hand somest woman, I reckon, tint ever looked a titan into fits, and I ought to boa judge, foH I’ve seen lots of pretty women in my days, bhe was about thirty five years old when I went up there to wotk, just iti the bloom ofher beauty, as full of devil try as a three year old mule colt. There was a ball Over tit Jenkins,” and of course I went, for I always go where there is any fun going on, and generally act the fool before I get away, of eourse. The widow was there dressed as fine ns one of So|o ltiou’s lilies, and flying around like a yonrig lamb in a rye patch, I was introduced to her and asked her to danoc with me, and she said “ yes.” I jumped up like I’d been sot down on a kit of live coals. You may talk about your sensations, but when she took Hold of riiy band and sorer squeezed it, I felt a sensation ns big as a load of wood, and U kept run ning up and down my back like a cat squirrel with a hawk, after him. I’m very fond of dancing, but I’ll be hanged if I Could tdl exactly wheth er I enjoyed it tlmfc night or not, for every time she took hold of my hand I’d commence fccliug curious behind the ears aud up and down the buck again, and then I wouldn’t know Whether 1 was on earth or in a balloon, or on or anything about it. It was undoubtedly a ease of love at first sight and a powerful bad case at that. For a Wonder 1 got throngh .the frolic w ithout cut ting up any extras, as I’m in the hab it of doing wlicu 1 go into public. I’d set my pegs to go borne with the widow when the ball ended, but just ns 1 was fixing my mouth to ask her up st -ps a long, lather-faccd doctor named Mabry, Walked her offright befoio my eyes. That riled me a little, but I kept my tonge still, in wardly swearing to break his bones the very first opportunity that offer ed itself. 1 saw there was no use saying anything, so I went home and went to bed, and all the rest of the night I was dreaming about rain bows, angels, butterflies, fiddles, widows and doctors, aud mixed worse than a dutchman’s dinner. Well, “Squire, to make a short story of it, I made up inv mind to have the widow or kill myself or some body else. ‘ “ So I made it convenient to, bo on hand where site was on all occasions, I couldn’t oat of sleep, and if the thing hail held on 1 wouldn’t have sense enough to skin a rabbit, lbit I was determined it shouldn’t Hat long, for I’d been fooled o often liy women that I thought I would not give her lime to think of anything but me She appeared to take to me right sharply and though the doctor seemed inclined to mix it with me. 1 did not consider him move in the way than a brush fence for I thought 1 was so far gone she couldn't sec nobody on earth but me. Well,” Squire, things went on so for about a month, ami on Sunday 1 screwed up my spunk and put the question to her. She sorter looked oue-stded and finally told me she couldn’t give me an answer jnst then, hut if I’d call at her house next Tlitirs y even ing, sfJe-M give me a final answer. Thil, you ate mine just ns sure as there are fiddles below ! whenever : a woman takes lime to study she’ll say “yes.” Squire llon’t poets say something about the calculations of men awd rats gout* crooked “ Mice and men, Burns says,” I an severed.” “ Well, mice and rats is all one, and so is men and fools, sometimes, as I’ve found in my travels, 1 was so sure she would have me 1 went off aud spent all my nwwiey for fine r clothes, thinking I'ft have them rea dy for the wedding—and I did! .Confound. Iter ! Thursday evening fedtllt? rtt last, tho’ it was a long time about it, and ever I went, dressed in to fits, itnd foiling as big as Josh Moyer and and when he was elected e< r> |*er. Got there at dark and found a right smart crowd collected, which wa* not on the bills, but I felt as big ami as good as lit.- rest of’em. So I matched in like a blind mule into a potato patch, and took a seat by the tirfe. 1 didn’t see attytiiing of the widow but kept looking for her to come in or send for me, and passed away the time by cussitt’ the crowd to myself, thinking they had no buxi ness there, and I would not get to talk to tny woman a bit. Presently a door opened and in walked Polly and that dpti Ddrlted doctor, and a whole team of boys and gals fixed up savagely, I tell you I looked around for a fiddler, thinking they Avere go ing tti have n ball f but I wondered wliat they nil kept so still for, aud was about prosing a reel, when tip step ped a little preacher; and before you could swallow a livfl flyster lie hud Polly nnd tho doctor married faster than a Mexican grea-er could tie a bull’s horns! I was so completely flummoxed that I set there with my mouth open likb I Was going to swallow tho whole crowd nnd my oyos looked like two billiard balls till the ceremony was all over, when I jumped np nnd hollered ; “I forbid the thing from being constituted!’’ ‘■You are a litllfe (od late, my friend !*’ says tlife preacher, nttd they all commenced mughiug like they’d seen something very funny. “ I’ll bo dnrn squizzled of I don’t be soon enough for somebody yit!’’ says I, for I was mad, Squire, nnd no mistake in the ticket. Ido l elieve I could have eat, up that doctor quick er than a hungry dorg could swallow a squirrel sk it, ef I could have Ipd a fur chance at him. It was to had after I had fixed Up to niafry her myself, for lifer lo walk right out be fore my eyes and marry that great babooni “It was Ini, that Is a fact,” said I. “ Bad!” replied he. It was meaner tlion eating a fried ooen. I first thought I’d go Btrnight home, but then I concluded It wouldn't spite nobody, so I determined to stop and see ef I oould’nt get satisfaction out of somebody. “ You know I'm the devil to got myself or somebody else in a scrape when I take a notion, and I’d taken one that night that Went all over me liko h third day chiiLso I commenced studying out some plan. I recollec ted hearing the doctor say that where he co : o from, (but tho Lord only knows whore that was) the bride and grootn always washed their faces to gether before tiiey went to b'6d as a charm Against infidelity, imbecility, or some other long words. While I was studying I saw the doctor’s sad dle-bags setting in a corner, so I waited until they went to supper, and then I got the bags and looked to see what I could discover. Near ly the first thing I saw a piece of lunar ooslic. I slipped it iuto my i'oeket, for I had a plan* as soon as saw it. Well, I watched around till I saw one of the girls go to the water pail with a pitcher, and I went out and asked her w hat she was go* ing to do with it. She said she wSS going to carry it ibid the room tot the doctor and Poll to was their fa ces. I k<*pt talking to her while Site was filling the pitcher, and when she turned her head away, I dropped the caustic in it. It was then about bedtime, and I got my hat and put out, but I could not help laughing nil tho way home whenever I’d think about if. “ Well, Squire, they do say when that couple waked up next morning, they* both had the hardest kind of fits, each thinking they hail been sleeping wiih a nigger. Oh it was rich! He was a eussin* and tearing up things and she. tfft'S' a-screaming and fainting, ami coming to>>, and me not there to see it! They made such an ungodly racket that the folks broke into the room to see what was the matter and found their faces and hands as black ns the inside of n stove pipe. I’d gw>eW foilf my interest in the oilier wrfd just to Imre been in some safe place where I could have seen the whole row. As jioon as they found that they were really the same folks that were married the night before, they called for warm water and eonfrf but just then the doctor happened to tfwsifc about the pitcher, sml took it ter tfie door to see wlmt was the matter. There was a little piece of caustic that hod not dissolved, and ns soon as'he saw it iic said: “It’s no use washing, I’olly,all the reip m New York- can’t wash that black off!” That was the truth, Biytire; soap and rags had no 1 more effect than it would on a native negro t get white again. I never ftowtd out, but one tiling I do know,” be concluded, getting up to go, “ the next time I saw the doctor I had. tlio hardest 1 fight, ami come Higher getting wha led, than ever 1 dii In my horn i days!” SST" The very' best way to cloan a stained steel knife is to- cut if solid potato in two,, dip one of the pieces in blink-dust, such as is usually used for knife cleaning, and rub the blade with it. S W" A Worth county mar. lately ki led four deer in one day. $2 A year; Wit and Humor. A hop iij your walk is a halt; imt ft 'lnline ttpoh nothing is a linker. Ond linger by. itself may be a-itUßlb, but ten fingers are a number. A deal ofg-.id tnny he a plumb, but a dealer in lead is a plititflmr. You may some: times put sauce into * cup, but you should always put a eup into a sau< cr. You’re a fool if you’re a walkct 1 - in n pciiit; yoii’ro it philosopher if * you ponder in your walk: A cottgli makes you wheezy of tlie chest, but of tho chest you ean easy make tf coffer, A steel is what ni:lkex and blade sharp, but a blade that makes it sharper is a stealer. A Fort Way tie lover thought life saw bis sweetheart talking over the gate to a rival, the other night.; I.bvfev gathered a boulder aud hurled it with title aiifi ( at a rivals’* head; proved to lo a nicely turned gidluS? on the gate post. Boulder caromed on the head of sweetness. Fathei* t>ave lover a dose of shot. Fido hit; him. The splinters were picked out; of sweetness’ head, but she declares she will never marry a man wlw“is so jealous of a gatepost* Ipf A Dutchman deSnhes alt accident as follows ; “ Voneo a long vflfl 1 vent into mine abble orchard to clime a bc.tr tree to get beaches to make mine vrow a blum boodin mil, and ven 1 get to de toppermost branch 1 vdU ft 1 tin the lowermost,, limb, wid one leg on both sides of de fence, aud. like to stove mine out sides in.’* Two doctors met, when one siddf “ Hitvo you heard how bur friend fir.' Wilson is?” “He died yesterday,” replied the other, “llow!” ctieif the first. “ I did not think he was so ill as that.*' “What could you ex pect?” said the other, in a tone of disgust. “He trusted to his own* treat inetit! ” A system of cotuleitsed gUrdt'hihJf for ladies: Make your beds in the morning; sew buttons on yonr hus band’s shirt; protect tlie young and tender branches of your family; jdant A smile of gobtl tfefliper on your raAe,’ and carefully root out all angry feel* ings, and aud expect a good crop of happiness. It was Daniel who said “Man/ shall run to aud fro, and knowledge shall be inefeased.** He dearly re ferred to reporters in this remark, . aud this suggests the idea that Dan** iel was in that line himself; it is cer tain, at all events, that he was allowed to pass in free to see the lions. A lady went out with her little girl and boy, and purchased the latter ft rubber balloon, which eswiped hi** and went up tit tho alt*. Trie girt, seeing tears tu his eyes, said, “Never mind, Neddy; when you die and go to hebun, you’ll dit it.” A lady showing to a friendktSi# photograph of herself ana husband was told that the gentleman’s was much the better likeness. “ Yes, wt/ dear,” she answered, “ but then you know men are So very easy to oatoh P “ I wish you would pay a little at* tention to what I am sajing, sir,** roared an irate lawyer at ah exaspef* nttng witness. “ Well, lam paying as little as I can,” was the calm reply. When Eye told Adam to chastise hit! soli', what five Scriptural’ name* give the account? “Adana,” So tit Eve, “Cain AbeU” The rich man who will let a poof 4 family freeze for want ef a cord of wood, deserves a cord of hemp. Who was the straightest man id the Bible? Joseph, for Pharaoh wanted to make a ruler of Mffl*. Why do honest ducks dip theitf hands under water? To liquidate their little bills. , ' * Why are iron-cktds file unmarried Indies? Because tiiey are Open ter engagements. Wlmt is the most likely thing Ur bcpotne a woman? Why, little' girl. When is n newspaper the sharpest t When it's fiicd. JSJ"’ A young wonwfi at Knowles-- ville, N. Y., who was married in *664* has twice had triplets, and once gyr birth to six children. The lets were born in July, 1805, being* two boys and one girl, of whom of®* lived four months, one six mouthy, and one eleven months. In Septem* tier, 1869, six children were born-- three girls and three hoyfc Ope ef > the boys died when nineteen months old —the remaining five being stilt alive ami Stealthy. In Novemb; , 1808, three boys were borft, all oi whom died whhin n few hours. Mrs. BnsfUK-ff, the mother, is of French parentage, and%as born iii London, England. She was.nineteen years of ago at the time of her mar-' riage. IflrAP Lt'nmingioiyEnglnnd, Tir-' cent iv, the death of an infant was found to have been canscd by the isrewuce in the stomach ofa compac, ami hard hall of cheesy matter rtWb'jv I the size of a man’s fist. Two modi*' 1 cat men gave it a* their opinion that the lad I had bee# aceuemkitingi tW some time, art# was caused by the' hnilk having become changed to cheese in the stomach. t3T Ove7ontsh*<rftW wtombers of the Kellogg Legislature of ana can neither read nor write. ty Was Eve high or low Adam thought her Eve-an-gcH •* - - r ri