Newspaper Page Text
'CvINNETT HERALD.
_. !ED EVERY WEDNESDAY, BY
'Sn ES * YARBROUGH.
XVLER SI- PEEPLES, Editor.
itK3 of subscription.
KM 63 , . ,S 2 00
o«W%Zn*sV.'.‘- -? 1
0* O’i ■ iiiree months • o 0
°^SU ou rates are cash ~p ayable
inffloooyf PfamhiTfive subscribers, and
AaV t wi l receive a copy free.
t,ie ®f Vibers wishing their papers
sa fr !!m one post-office to another,
changed fro na f ne of the post-office
nmst s l 1 ’? t ’ hev W j«h it changed, as well
‘which they wish it gent.
lEGAL advertisements. _
Sheriff saies. - * *®g f Q
Mortgage si tA f r a . S T a ’ Pf. - ...5 00
TalU ° fSinistration 3 00
Setodebtomand editors... 5 00
Sft3, per square » g°
ci>i» Sales of land, by administrators,
or guardians, are required by
be held on the first Tuesday in the
h between the hours of ten in the
nlon three in the afternoon, at
EC.i i" i» which
"vSelf lta!e «*> most !* S i,el > j"
np „ slic gazette 40 days previous to the
Entice to debtors and creditors of an
e! ti must also be published 40 days.
Notice for the sale of personal proper
t/must be given in like manner, 10 days
F Notice t0 that e appiication will be made
to the Court of Ordinary for leave to
sell land must be published for four weeks.
Pitations on letters ot administration,
-SSlip,l».. must be puhlislu'cl 30
kr for dismission from administration,
monthly, three months; for dismission
from guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for the foreclosure of mortgages
must be published monthly, four months ;
for establishing lost papers, for the full
snice of three months; for compc.ling
titles from executors or administrators,
where bond has been given by the de
ce,ted,the full space of three months.
Sheriff's sales must be published for
four weeks.
Estray notices, two weeks.
Publications will always be continued
according to these, the legal requirements,
unless otherwise ordered.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
SAM..I. WINS. WM. E. SIMMONS.
WINN & SIMMONS.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Lawuesceville, G EORGIA.
Practice in Gwinnett anti the adjoining
counties. niar 15-lv
N. L. HUTCH I NS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LitVItESCEVII.LE, C! A .
Practice in the counties of the Western
Circuit, and in Milton and Forsyth of the
Blue Ridge. mar 15-ly
TYLEIt M. PEEPLES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
UWBESCEVILLE, GA.
Practices in the counties of Gwinnett,
Hail, Jackson and Milton.
Pension claims promptly attended to
nnr 15-6 m
J.N.GLENN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
UWRENCKVILI.E, GA
'A ill promptly attend to all business
entrusted to his care, and also to Land,
Bounty and Pension claims mar 15-Gin
DRSh T. K. & G. A. MITCHELL,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.,
Respectfully tender a continuation of
:i - lr professional services to the citizens
generally. Keep constantly on hand a
guoil assortment of drugs and chemicals.
1 ‘'ascriptions carefully prepared,
marls-ly
A - J. SHAFFER, M. D.,
PHYSICIAN and surgeon,
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA.
_ m ar 15-6 m
h ' F. ROBERTS,
Attorney at Law,
ALPHARETTA, GEORGIA,
tm'lf to a P business entrusted to
inthf or,'" ! he ue circuit; als(.
J'T' cUd *ith Col. H. H. Walker
fits ion, Laud Warrants and
Q,. cas ” 4 a 9 a in*t the United States
"■ june 14-bm
Ai R-LINE HOUSE,
Pr . y or Street, near the Car Shed,
ATLANTA, GA.
KEITH, - - Proprietor.
Meal, or Lodging, 50 Cents.
J*“gl6-tf
hotel
charleston, s. c.
nay ; 4 . lv E. 11. JaCKSON.
Weekly Gwinnett Herald.
T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.]
Vol. 11.
ROMANCE.
nr oeiver Wendell holmes.
Oh ! she was a maid of a laughing eye.
And she lived in a garret cold and high ;
And he was a threadbare, whiskered beau,
And he lived in a cellar damp aud low.
But the rosy boy on cherub wing
Has many a shaft in his slender string.
And the youth below and the maid above
Were touched with the flashing darts of
love.
And shp would wake from her troubled
si 'ep.
O’er his tender billet donx to weep ;
Or stand like a statute bright and fair.
And gaze on a lock or his bright red hair
And he was so tall and so prond.
With his step so firm and his laugh so
loud,
His beard grew long and his face grew
thin.
But he pined in solitude over his sin.
And one soft night in the month of June,
As she lav in the light of a elondless moon,
A voice came floating soft and clear,
To the startled maiden's listening ear.
Oh, then from her creaking conch she
sprang,
And her tangled tresses back she flung,
She looked from a window far below.
And he stood beneath—her whiskered
beau.
She did not start with a foolish frown,
But packed her trunk and scampered
down ;
And there was her lover, tail and true.
In his threadbare coat of brightest blue.
The star that rose in the evening shade
Looked sadly down on a weeping maid ;
The sun that eame in the morning pride
Shed golden light o’er a laughing bride.
The People in Advance of
the Politicians,
ft is but natmal that the professed
politician should be slow and cau
tious in changing his position as to
questions of | arty and policy. The
dashing politician who loves to he
sensational, and aspires to notoriety
often changes from no higher motive
than to exhibit a certain flashy tal
ent, f,nd to attract attention to nov
elties of opinion and action. The
ardent egotist mav do the same thing
from a mere restlessness at following
prudent plodding leaders in a beaten
Hack, and prefers to have a following
of his own, if it. be but a corporal’s
guanl. to being lost sight of in the
crowd. The active brained theorist
may do the same because bis restless
mind is ever dissatisfied with things
as they are viewed by the ordinary
thinker.
But the average politician loves
political influence, and having,acquir
ed a little nurses it carefully as so
much capital stock, and will not risk
it by taking bold positions in advance
of public sentiment. He is more
inclined to hold back and watch the
popular current,and then fall in with it
But sometimes these would be
leaders, but real tiimmers, find them
selves behind the popular sentiment.
They are too slow for that instinctive
sagacity which moves the masses in
a great emergency, and almost always
moves them in the right direction.
It seems apparent that at this crisis
the popular sentiment of the South is
in advance of its politicians. The
people have been groaning and fret
ting under bad government until
they are aroused to a determination
to have a change. They do not fear
a change for the worse. Almost any
change they think w ill be for the bet
ter. Hence they fearlessly seize on
the opportunity oft’erred by tne Cin
einnati nomination to get rid of
Grant and bis military satraps and
corrupt political wire-workers. They
are ready to take tip Greeley
better man than Grant, and as the
man most likely to defeat Grant.—
They are not afraid of the victory, if
achieved, being turned against them.
But they have a profound apprehen
sion of a four years longer domina
tion of the present arbitrary dynasty.
Politicians may de-ire to wait till
the Bal.imoro Convention meets be
fore taking position ; but the people
have already made up their mtnds f
and they will insist upon their wishes
being carried out. That convention
will not he a convention of popular
leaders, who will undertake to dic
tate opinions and action for the peo
ple. It will necessarily be a body
who will willingly or unwillingly,
bend to the popular will and ratify
its decree.— Constitutionalist.
“Senator Brownlow ro<le in the
procession in Knoxville, Tenn., on
Memorial Day. The Chronicle says
he appeared as well as he had for
years.” Wo really began to flatter
ourselves that the combined ravages
of whiskv, disease and the senility
of a virulent old age, had rather got
the better of old Billy. But the
prospects now are that if the devil
wants the old fellow, he will have to
take him alive.— Sat', yews.
Lawreneeville, Ga., Wednesday, June 19, 1872.
LIMBER-STICK TOBE.
A Reminiscence of a Georgia
Gold Town.
by james Maurice Thompson.
In those days I struck out fair
from the shoulder with as good a
right arm and as solid a fist as ever
interfered with a lachrymal duct, or
jolted the Adam’s apple of any fellow
I don’t know that l particularly liked
fighting; but somehow, without much
trouble, I got a heap of it to do. —
Practice, and much careful study of
the world’s way of rolling along, had
given me a clear insight into the
manner of disposing of a chap so as
to gain the greatest possible fame.
My greatest accomplishment in the
matter of fighting, was my laugh.
If a fellow insulted me I didn’t ily
into a roaring passion, and curse and
swear at him ; nor did I rub my fist
under his nose. That would have
been common. I laughed. Tee he
he-ha ha-wa-a-a !—tiiat way. I put
on a very pleased look, and sidled up
to my man—so. Then I tapped him
with my finger on the shoulder and
said to him “Don’t you love me, hon
ey ?” “Not that 1 know of, you
ted headed, cowardly, son of a rain
bow !” said lie. “Let me ki.-s you,
now, won’t you?” said 1. “Not by
a gotirdfuly” said he. “But I must,”
said I, smiling, and just about then
he got chocked on six of iiis teeth,
and a splinter of his jawbone. You
know how the thing’s done about,
round in certain districts where the
law don’t have half a show, Arkan
sas, Texas, California an 1 Missouri
are ready examples. I suppose I’ve
wolloped fifty men in each one of
those States, some of them four or
five times apiece. Guess I’ve told
you about most of my scrapes but
one, and that one was a curious affair.
Didn’t think I’d ever tell you about
it at all ; but it’s been so long ago.
Let me see, ah, yes, nigh on to twen
ty eight years—may be more. Guess
u has. No difference about dates,
’twas a long time ago anyhow, long
time ago. 1 wouldn’t tell yon now,
but somehow I don’t feel like sitting
hete smoking always with nothing
to talk about, when it does seem so
much like living .ife over again to
talk up these old scrapes. Seems
like this tobacco burns too fast, give
me some of yours. Thank ye. Yes,
tliis is better. Burns slow like.
Couldn't tell you bow I first came
to go to Dahlonega any more than if
the wind had a blown me there.—
Some how or other I don’t keep in
mind just the year 1 went. Fact is
it’s a good deal like a dream, all dim
and misty like, just as you’ve seen
mountains away off in Indian sum
mer when the wind was not blowing
any of acount, and everything seem
ed dozing. I didn’t go to Dahlonega
to dig gold at all, though for that
matter they were scooping it out
right lively then. Dahlonega is down
in Georgia, you know, and there’s a
government mint there. Reckon 1
went down there to fight, don’t know
what else, though, as I told you, I
can’t say that I particularly liked
fighting.
When I went there Dahlonega
was,just like almost any goldmine
town, a huddle of shanties, and in
most of the shanties limy had more
or less liquor to sell. Greatest place
tor corn whisky I ever taw, unless it
was the Ducktown copper mine in
East Tennessee.
The first evening after I got there
I had four fights, and licked four
men, and I can’t aay I got even a
scratch. Of course this gave me a
reputation at once, for, as it happen
ed, I whipped the four bullies of tbe
south end of town all in one evening.
One of them, 1 remember, l knocked
into a mortar pit where tbe mud
mortar was a foot deep. That’s what
he got for coughing in my face. The
other three, I don’t mind now what
1 mauled them for. I think, though
that one of them caught his mess tor
asking tue lor a chew of tobacco, and
when l handed him my plug he put
a corner of it in his great slobbering
mouth and bit ofl a piece instead ot
cutting it with a knite. I ain’t clear
about it, but I think 1 kicked him
clean over a pile of bacon in Sypes’
grocery. Never did like for a man
to bite mv tobacco.
It was in the Spring that I went
down there to Dahlonega, and that
hill country of North Georgia is a
nice place to be at in the spring.—
Sea breezes and mountain winds
blow through the lane in a gusty,
careless kind of w ay, making a sol
emu moaning and roaring in tire pine
tops that now-a-days touches a ten
der place in my heart, setting mem
ory to work rumaging over a little
heap of things put away in my bo
som as holy. Ah, may be you never
•thought I had a real tender heart
“COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE!”
j always beating under the iron like
muscles of my great rugged breast,
but I guess may-be I have. Here,
fill my pipe, tobacco burns faster than
common somehow.
I was going on to tell you that one
morning 1 was dragging Lase Owens
across the street by the hair of the
head, punching him on the nose a
little so that next time he wouldn’t
bo apt to call me a hoosier, when
suddenly I came face to face with a
young woman. Lase was bawling
out “Nuff!” (meaning enough), and 1
a shootin’ it to him just about my
best licks, and the blood a flying. I
looked right into that girl’s e\es be
fore I knew it. and right there 1
dropped Lase Owen as if I had been
stabbed. Site was the prettiest thing
I ever saw. Curious! Iliad dream
ed of that face all my life. Yes, sir,
dreamed of it more than a thousand
times when sound asleep in my bed,
and I had never seen or Lea d of her
before. Now it seemed as if she had
dropped before me from the sky.—
Curious !
She turned a little pale, shied
round me and went her way. 1
gave Lase one more kick, and then
went over to CentreH’s and got a
cigar, to see if smoking wouldn’t
quiet my feelings, for I tell you iliat
sweet face had thrilled me like a
galvanic shock. Ail that day 1 was
in a reverie. I went from place to
place liki a sleep walker.
Time went on and I soon got to be
master of Dahlonega, so far as fight
ing went. Everybody began to give
the road to me, “treat” me and fun
die about me generally. \\ heiever
I went I could hear them say as I
passed, “there goos Tom Royster.
Better bet lie’s one of ’em ! ’Twon't
do to fool along with him, l tell ye!”
But though such words as ttiese
greeted my ears constantly, there was
a sentence almost invariably added in
an under tone, “wonder when Limber-
Stick Tt.be ’ll be back.” 1 had heard
that name occasionally spoken among
the miners and gamblers, but now it
was beginning to be on everybody’s
tongue, Limber Slick l obe seemed lo
have an influence in Dahlonega. It
somehow at once got into my head
that this man, this Limber-Stick
Tube, was to he rar rival in one way
or another. This kept me from mak
ing any inquiries about him.
As davs went by I occasionally
saw the glorious girl I bad so long
loved in iny dreams. It would so
happen that she mu3t several times
see me fighting. I haled this. I
had got my beard and hair neatly
trimmed, and bad been more careful
about my dress, lately, all on her ac
count. To save my life, 1 couldn’t
see her without having my heart go
into a foolish flutter, ami feeling my
face get pale and red by turns. Oh !
for that matter, I may ns well ac
knowledge that I loved her as soon
as I saw her, for I did.
“What young lady is that?” said
I to my landlord, one day, as the ob
ject of my admiration was passing
along the street, in front of the hotel.
“That’s Nettie Baliew,” was the
reply.
“Where does she live
“At home.”
In less than twenty minutes the
landlord was entirely used up. The
young lady heard him bawling, and
looked back just in time to see me
ppt on the finishing touch, l>y grind
ing a handful of dirt into the fellow’s
O
eyes.
Could it bo ? I thought, yes, I was
almost certain she smiled, as our eyes
met in the backward glance !
I helped the landlord up; and said
to him in my smiling way : “I guess
mav be you can tell me where she
lives now. Tell me in less than a
second.”
“Sue-she 1-1-ives j -just out of
t-town on the hill n-north, in the
w-w-white house, among the pints,”
he replied, out ot breath with pain
and tenor.
I knew where the place was. Had
passed it often in going to the “dig
gings of Col. L . It was the
only really comfortable residence I
knew of anywhere in that vicinity.
A two story frame house, painted
white, with a portico in front and
large windows, with green Venetian
biinds, was something quite in tbe
aristocratic line at that time in and
about Dahlonega.
Early on the next morning after
making the discovery of the home of
Nettie Baliew, I called for my horse
and rode out pa-t the house. I had
no object in view, only a feint hope
that 1 might get to see the young
lady. I don’t know what made it so
turn my head, but I was neary crazy
about that gitl. Well, I didn’t get
to see her, and after lingering in the
neighborhood of the house sot some
hours, I started back to town in a
somewhat dispirited mood. I asked
myself what I meant. What was I
to think of loving this beautiful, del
icate girl ! I, a roving rake, a row
dy, bully, riot-hunter; law defier, a
desperado! Could I ever make my
self worthy of her? Wasn’t it the
merest nonsense to be thinking of it ?
Tbus-wise, tilled with self-reproach,
chagrin, remorse, ami almost desper
ation to the last degree, 1 rode toward
town with my hat drawn down far
over my eyes. As I passed Tilth’s
saloon 1 heard some one say : “And
Limber-Stick Tube has come back,
and its all selling up ”
I paid little attention to the re
mark ;• but 1 had gone on y a rod or
two farther, when I passed two or
three miners going “down town,'’
when one said to the other : “Lim
her Stick Tube has got back.” A
little farther on a group of men were
holjing some sort of a confab on a
street corner. From some in the group
came the words—"lf Limber Stick
Tube can’t do it, nobody can.” Then
as I got well clown am mgst the sa
loons, and the throng of such nun as
gather about gold mines went stir
ring and buzzing around me, from
every quarter came that name, Lim
ber-Stick Tube.
It. was now about noon, and as
I reached my boarding place, I went
to mv room to collect my faculties,
for I begun to snuff a big light. 1
had heard et ough to convince me
that Limber Stick Tobe was the rul
ing bully of Dahlot ega, and that I
had come in bis absence and usurped
his place That was the long and
short of the business.
I was : ilting on the side of my bed
smoking my pipe, thinking about
what was to bo ihe result of my lon
ger staying in Dahlonega, when a
great shouting and yelling began in
the street below. I drew back my
window curtains and looked out. A
great crowd of men, motley as such
crowds can be, was streaming along
the sides of the street, waiving their
bats and shouting, “Hoorah for Lim
ber-Stick Tobe I” Along the middle
of the street rode a man on whom
all ryes were turned. He was appa
rentlv about forty years of age, short
and thick set, with heavy limbs,
round shoulders, a big, square head
that seemed to set tight down on his
body without any neck at all, and a
face at once mild, self satisfied and
determined. The forehead was broad
and high, very slight v retreating,
the eyebrows black and heavy, the
eyes steel gtay, and rather small, the
nose aqueline, the mouth thin-lipped
and firm, the chin square and advan
cing. He wore a broad brimmed
hat, under which his black hair hung
in coarse curls. He carried in his
hand a black walking stick, which
bent and quivered all the time with
its own weight, so flexible was it.
This man smiled blandly around on
the crowd, acknowledging the cheer
ing by frequently waiving his stick.
Finally he passed out of my sight,
and I heard them cheering on after
him. This was the man 1 had to
fight. I felt it. I knew it. I took
my hat and walked down into the
street.
“Who was that fellow on the
horse ?” I inquired of a man stand
ing on the hotel steps.
“That! Tiiat was old Limber-
Stick Tobe, as they cad him,” was
the reply.
“Is he much of a fighter?” I ques
tioned.
“Fighter! fighter ! Limber Sink
Tobe a fighter!" said the m n em
phatically, and gazing strangely at
mo. Then turning to two or three
others near by be continued : “I sty
there, Jack, Jim, Ben, this man
wants to know if Limber Stick Tube
is much of a fighter !”
“A fighter! you bet,” said one,
“Guess his way of fighting would
be s’prising to Captain Torn Royster,
eh,” said another.
I set my teeth and turned away,
determined to fight Limber-Stick
Tube at tbe first opportunity. I
walked down the street and turned
the first corner, when lo and behold,
I was face to face with Nettie Baliew.
How sweet she looked ! How pure
and goo 1! She smiled as she pa»s#d
me. Such a smile ! I’ve heard talk
of angels, and Ido believe she was
one, almost.
Give nte just another pipe of yonr
tobacco. Thank you. Very good j
tobacco it is, too.
Well, a week from that day I was i
lying in bed all battered and banged
up My eyes were nearly closed, my
nose made into jelly, iny head as j
knotty all over as could be. my arms ,
and body just as sore as a boil. In j
fact, I was nearly beaten to death, all
of which was done by that man Um
ber Stick Tobe. 1 forced the fight
on him. He said he di in’t want to
tight. Said it would disgrace him,
but if nothing but fight would do
[s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
me, here goes. Then that limber
stick began to warp round my head
in sharp, well aimed, rapid blow*, that
do as 1 might I couldn’t avoid. In
fact, ho licked me. Thrashed me till
i bawled.
Now, then, I had been lying in bed
about a week, suffering in mind and
body on account of that dtubbing,
the only one I ever did get, when my
landlord cattle in with my dinner.
“Weit,” said ue, as ho sat down the
tray of victuals and looked at me
dolefully, “Well, Tom Royster, you
are getting well enough now to ex
plain matters a little, and 1 want to
kutnv what on earth you picked up
and forced a fight with old Tobe
Hallow for?”
I gazed at the man steadily for a
moment to see that bo was not quiz
zing me then said: “Why, just be
cau e lie’s always been the bully
here, and 1 wanted that position
myself.”
"Been the bully !’’ echoed the land
lady, “Been the bully ! Why he’s a
Methodist Preacher, and never had a
light before in his life, man.”
“What!” I ejacu nted in utter con
sternation.
“Certain, sir, he’s a Methodist
Preacher, and spite of his good,
pious ways, all the miners, black legs
and speculators iike him, for ho don’t
care a cuss if they have all their fun
will; him, and call him Limber Stick
Tobe, instead of Parson Ballew, as
lliev ought to.”
“Ballew! “Ballew!” I muttered.
“Is he any relation to Nettie Ballew!”
“Certain, sir, she’s his—”
“Thunder ! O Lord ! what have I
done ? Landlord,” said I, in a breath,
“post right off to Parson Ballew, and
tell him to come right here and see
me, quick!”
“The landlord gave me one star
tied look (l must have looked death
Iv,) and then bolted off. Ballew
happend to bo passing along the
street, and was brought light iu. 1
was crazy —1 was wild.
“Oh, Mr. Ballew, forgive me, for
give mo I’ l cried, 1 didn’t know you
was Nettie’s—”
“Husband!” he put ip very calmly.
“Yes, she’s my wife !”
* *“ * * *
“Here, take ibis pipe ; guess I’ve
smoked enough.”
Bo Sensible.
Do not be above your business
lie who turns up bis nose at his
work, quai l els witli bis bread and
butter. He is a poor smith who is
afraid of his own spark ; there’s some
discomfort in all trades except chimb
ney-sweeping. If sailors give up
going to sea because of the wet ; if
bakers left off baking bread because
it was hot work ; if plowmen would
not plow because of cold, and tailors
would not make our clothes for fear
of pricking their fingers, what a pass
we would come to. Nonsense, my
fine fellow, there’s no shame about
any honest calling; don’t be afraid
of soiling your hands, there’s plenty
of soap to Le bad.
All trades are good to good tra
tiers. Lucifer matches pay well if
vou sell enough of them. You can
not get honey if you are frigtened at
bees, nor plant corn if you are afraid
to get mud on your boots, When
bars of iron melt under the south
winds; when you dig the fields with
toothpicks; blow ships along with a
fan ; manure the crops with lavender
water, and grow pluincakes in tiow
er-pots, there will be a fine time for
dandies; but until tbe millennium
comes we shall all have a deal to put
up with. *
The New York Legislature re
cently passed the common sense
law that acquaintance with the
facts of a case shall not disqualify
from ser .ice as jurors upon a trial
any man who may be able other
wise to render a fair verdict. This
tcversal of a practice which tend
ed to place idiots in the jury box
was carried into practical effect in
New York city yesterday for the
first time, and there is no doubt
tiiat this reform is one which will
extend to every section of the
country.
XfTA correspondent of the Coun
try Gentleman says: “If any of your
readers are troubled with lice on cat
tle, tell them to try brine. It is the
easiest and surest remedy l ever used.
My hogs I found covered with ticks
this summer, something 1 never heard
of before, and salt water twice ap
plied cleared them.
An Atlanta Special says: Ben
llill is for Greeley without sugar.—
Judge St<*phens will take tbe Balti
more Convention, unadulterated;
while Genera! Toobs favors holding
off, and if trade it is, let it be the
best possible trade.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
space 3 mo’s. | C mo's. 12 mo’s.
Dqua e $ 4 00” $ VoOtflo on
2 sq’rs 600 J 0 00 1 i (,u
3 sqr’s 8 0(1 14 00 20 Qo
1.;/ cul. 12 CO 20 00 30 ro
}£ col. 2ft Of- 2>f* 00 60 Oft
one col. 1 40 (w* 7A Of* 10c no
The money for advertisements is due
on the first insertion.
A sqnnre is fhespr.ee of one inch in
depth of the eoiuimi, irres(rf>ctive of the
number of lines.
Marriages and deaths, not exceeding
six lines, published free. For a man ad
vertising iris wife, aud all other personal
mutter, don hie rates will be charged.
No. 14.
A Fish Story. — One of the Flor
ida excursionists was expatiating
to an attentive circle of listeners
this morning on the incalculable
nlimbers of fish in the gull, and
especially was “heavy” on their
size. Alter hearing several won
derful yarns, a well known retailer
of dry old jokes, spoke u few
words as follows: “Well, I know
a more wonderful tale than any
yon have told. I once caught a
catfish in tin* Ocmulgee river that
weighed one hundred and thirteen
pounds and two ounces gross in
its stocking feet, and if yon be
lieve me, gentlemen, when we clit
that fmh open to clean it, we found
t iat it had swallowed a large
black and white spotted hog, with
a crop in its right ear, ai d a round
hole in its left, which weighed one
hundred and sixty pounds." The
excursionist looked at George a
minute, and said “Let’s go around
to the Merchant’s Exchange and
get something to help ns to swal
low' that.”— A’nti rprixe.
—-*■«>•>
“Es He’d Said Ducks.” —During
a class meeting held several \ears
since by the Methodist brethren of a
Southern village, brother .Tone went
among the colored portion of the
congregation. Finding theie an off
man notorious for his endeavor to
serve God on the Sabbath and Satan
the rest of the weed:, lie said :
‘Well, Brother Dick, I’m glad to
see you here! II iven’t stole anv
turkeys since I saw you lasq Brother
Dick?”
“No, no, Brudder Jones, no tur
keys.”
“Nor any chickens, Brother Dick?”
“No, no, Brudder Jones, no chick
ens.”
“Thank the Lord, Brother Dick !
Thai’s doing well, my brother!” said
Brother Jones, leaving Brother Dick,
who immediately relieved his over
burdened conscience by saying to a
near neighbor, with an immense sign
of relief:
“Es he’d a sai l duels, he'd had
me — Advance.
A good story is told of a nobby
dry goods clerk who attended a
dance in the rural district a few
evenings since. He wore a Che
voit shirt, and put on a great ma
ny airs. lie was somewhat taken
down, however, when he overheard
one country lass say* to another,
“That town chap slings on a heap
of style fur a fellow that wears a
bed tick shirt.”
When Hob Toombs and Bishop
Fierce were attending college at
Athens, they mr lo a bargain when
they quit school,one to fight tLe Dem
ocrats and the other to fight the
Devil. The Bishop says Bob long
ago made friends with live Democrats,
but be continues to fight the Devil.—
Exchange.
A negro woman was relating her
experience to a gaping congregation
of color, and among other things she
said had been in heaven. One of
the ladies asked her—“ Sister, did
you see any blacks in heaven }”—
“Oli, git out? You s’pose Igo in
de kitchen when I was dar !’’
“How much corn may a gentleman eat !”
whispered P.,
While the cob* on his plate lay in
tiers ;
“As to that,’’ answered Q , as he glanced
at the heap,
“'Twill depend on tbo length of his
ears ”
A youthful novice in smoking
turned deadly pale and threw his
segar away. “(>, dear,” he said,
“(here's some'in in that segar that’s
rnakin’me si< k. ’ “I know what it
is.” said hi* companion, pulling awav.
“What!” “1 abacker.”
A girl, speaking from experience,
says “a ki-s in time saves ninefor
she avers in every case where she has
refused a man a chaste salute he has
taken at least twenty.
Burlington, lowa, buried a baby,
and this is its epitaph :
“Beneath this stone our baby lays,
He neither cries uor hollers,
He lived just twenty days.
And cost us forty dollars.”
“Talk about the jaws of death !”
exclaimed a man who was living
with his third scolding wile; “I tell
you they are no touch to the jaws
ol life!”
The little girl who sang “I want
to be an angel” was told by her papa
that her desire would be gratified if
she could pass the competitive exam
ination.