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I g \VINNETT herald.
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I[ J IOFESS!ONAL CARPS.
I , mS ' WM. K. SIMMONS.
I WINN & SIMMONS.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
BoWUENCEVIU.E, G EORGIA.
■ j’ractice in Gwinnett anil the adjoining
||.iuntw. mar 15-1 V
J N. L. HUTCHINS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
■aWUENCEVTU.F., G.V.
■ I’liu-tieo in the counties of the Western
- i ■! in Milton and Forsyth of the
Hike Ridge. mar 15-1 y
I YLKU M. PEEPLES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AIVRESCEVIU.E, GA.
Practices in the counties of Gwinnett,
all. Jackson and Milton.
Pension claims promptly attended to
mar 15—Grit
J. N. G L
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
tWREN'CEVILLE, GA
ill promptly attend to all business
ttrusted to his care, and also to Land,
aunty and Pension claims mar 15-Cm
rs -t.k. &, g. a. mitchell”
UWRENCEVILLE, GA.,
Respectfully tender a continuation of
or professional services to the citizens
“rally. Keep constantly on hand a
’j, ass °rtmcnt of drugs and chemicals.
1 '•ascriptions carefully prepared.
■mar 15-lj
■A.J.sI! A 1 I >.,
AND SURGEON,
■ UWRENCEVILLE, GA.
■ 11 F - ROIIE RT S ,
Attorney at Law,
ALPHARETTA, GEORGIA,
LiH business entrusted to
Ithe j»dge circuit; also
l\y ‘ tlcs . 0 tmd Gwinnett of
ru stern circuit.
Ip / 1 Col. E. Tl. Walker
Ig,- 1 Land Warrant* and
ih * F nitcd state *
K ' jtine 14-Gin
aj R-line HOUSE,
P ‘ )ot Street > “ear the Car Shed,
AT LANTA, GA.
I rif,.. i» n( ,, r i,.( 01 .
I ' " Lvlyln.,, 00 Cent*.
I *ug 16-ts
r lAl; i-i>To\ iKrn. :L
I CIIa ULESTOX, s. c.
|“uy:.. !v v - h. Jackson.
*
Weekly Gwinnett Herald.
T. M. PEEPLES, PROPRIETOR.]
Yol. 11.
Another “All Quiet.”
Recent discussion as to the author
j ship of the famous song, “All Quiet
; on the Potoinac,” seems to have in
l spired another poem of equal or
j greater merit, which is copied from
the Richmond Dispatch :
All quiet along the Potomac to-night,
No sound save the voice of the river.
| Which ever seems wailing a sorrowful
dirge
For hopes that have perished forever
And still as I listen, those low mournful
notes
Are by fancy all framed into story ;
And I hear a lament for those heroes and
braves
Whose names are enshrouded in glory ;
Who once trod these shores in the pride
of their might,
And swore that the foeman should
never
Pollute, by his presence, our beautiful
South,
And our flag should float proudly for
ever !
But those forms are now still, and o'er
their low graves
The loved ones are silently weeping,
While the “stars up above, with their
glittering eyes,
Still keep guard when those heroes are
sleeping.”
.There’s another sad voice in the dark riv
er’s flow,
Tlio’ so low I must bend as 1 listen,
And the ripples meanwhile seem a shower
of tears,
As in the bright moonlight they glisten.
It speaks of a nation whose hopes are all
fled,
Whose glory’s forever departed.
Whose garlands of fame are withered and
dead,
Whose people are now broken-hearted.
It whispers of laurels all faded and torn—
Of banners all gory and tattered—
Of armies that proudly defended our own,
But whose hosts are now vanquished
and scattered.
Hark! another sweet voice—’tis the gen
tle night wind,
Through the forest leaves softly ’tis
sighing ;
But it speaks to the heart of glories mi
di mined,
Of bright hopes forever undying.
For it says, “Anchor not to this perishing
earth"
The chains which may so soon be riven.
But remember, while mourning the sor
rows of life,
There is happiness, freedom, in Heaven!
Those heroes now tread the shores of that
stream
Which flows through the city of God,
Their brows arc encircled with heavenly
light,
Their garments washed white in Christ’s
blood.
They belong to the army of martyrs on
high,
The sword is exchanged for the crown ;
Their freedom is won, their victory com
‘ pletc,
Their weapons forever laid down.
All quiet along the Potomac to-night,
No sound save the rush of the river,
And the beatiful voice of the gentle
night wind,
As tne forest leaves tremble and quiver.
There is a man in Darby, Ta., who
purchased a hull-dog, which he pro
posed to turn loose in his store at
[ night in order to scare away burglars.
The first evening after he obtained
posssssion of the animal ho locked it
in the store and went away a happy
man. The next morning, early, he
went arouud to the store and unlock
jed the door. The dog was vigilant—
the man was surprised to see how
exceedinly vigilant the dog was—for
no sooner was the door open than
the dog seized his owner by the leg,
suddenly, and seemed to be animated
by an earnest and vigorous resolution
j not to let go until it had removed at
I least one good mouthful. And the
| man pushed the dog back and shut
j the door on its ribs until the animal
j relaxed its jaws; and then the man
kicked the dog into the store and
j shut the door as if ho was in a hurry
to do something. Then he suspend
ed business for a week, and spent the
vacation firing at that dog through
J the windows and dnwn the chimney,
' and up through the cellar ceiling,
with a shot-gun, trying to exterminate
him. And that mercantile establish
ment did not open for trade until the
1 man had paid twice the first cost of
the dog to the dog’s former owner to
come and take it home; aful then,
when he got in, he found that during
I the bombardment holes had been
j shot through mackeral barrels and
! molasses cans and coal oil kegs, so
that there was misery and ruin every
where. Dogs have no more charms
for this man ; and if you allude in
his presence to the noble work that
is being done by the woman’s branch
of the society for the prevention of
; cruelty to animals, that merchant is
always observed to rise up and swear,
j — Sprin<jjitid Republican.
Lawrenceville, Ga., Wednesday, June 26, 1872.
Tlio Fat Contributor—He xvill
be a Candidate for Presi
dent.
The hour has arrived. I can hes
itate no longer. The highest inter
' ests of the nation demand that I pre
; sent myself as a candidate for I’resi
i dent of the United States. I have
j waited for some one else to living me
| out, but in the multitude of candi
dates no one seems to have thought
of me. And I don’t think vety much
of myself; hut a man don’t want to
j think much of himself to be a candi
j date for President now-a days. If lie
had any self-regard at the outset he
j would think very little of himself by
j the time lie got through the cam
[ paign.
j lam one of the people—l might
say, one of the boys. I came up
from obscurity, and I have brought
up a good deal of obscurity with me.
I never had any politics—or much
else. lam ‘ Liberal” to a fault, and
ready to receive votes from any quar
ter, although I am not ready to give
quarters for any votes.
As for a platform, suit yourself,
| gentlemen. The lecture platform
! would probably suit me as well as
any other. Having stood upon near
ly every platform in the West it
would bo hard for you to get up one
1 could not stand on. In the absence
of a platform, give me four aces, and
I’ll “stand” on that.
I am the special friend of the la
boring man. No one likes to see a
man work better than I do. In fact,
I had rather see a man work than
work myself. I am not only averse
to working more than eight hours,
but I am opposed to working a single
hour. I shan’t even work for my
election, leaving that for the men
who want the otlices.
I am in favor of paying the na
tional debt. It is, in fact, the only
I debt lam in favor of paying. And
I rather than not see it paid during my
administration, 1 will pay it out of
iny own pocket.
In the matter of civil service re
form I intend to do the civil thing by
the nation if the nation does the civil
thing by me. Being civil is so rare
a condition novv-a days in the varied
walks of life (to say nothing about
the runs) that reform is urgently
called for.
Retrenchment ik my motto. If
you can’t put a retrenchment plank
in the platform put in a board. lam
willing to work without any salary,
but 1 shall insist upon my board.
I am rather inclined to free trade,
preferring to feel free to trade when
ever I please, but if a tariff plank is
necessary to my election, put it in. 1
shall not get on a tar iff 1 ain’t elec
ted.
Pledge me as strong as you please
to the temperance men. The tem
perance pledge won’t hurt me a bit.
No relative shall hold office, no
matter whose relative lie may be. I
shall appoint none but old bachelors,
childless widows and orphans. Any
man who has a relative in the world
need not apply for an office under
my administration. I have a few rel
atives of my own holding office now,
but they shall be promptly kicked
out as soon as lam elected One
brother-in-law has a little coal office
on the river, lie must give it up.
A third cousin on ray neighbor’s side
drinks a little too much occasionally,
aud gets office foot. I shall give
him notice to ijuit. You see lam
determined to reduce the “relavivo”
expenses of the government.
I engage not to accept any gift,
unless it be the highest office in the
gift of the people. If 1 am ever
called “our present Chief Magistrate,”
it won’t be a chief magistrate of
presents. Not being a man of com
manding presence anyhow, there
would probably be few presents that
I could command. What few gifts
I may have, however, I shall endeavor
to retain. They are not worth mak
ing any fuss about.
I atn not only in favor of woman’s
rights, but of woman’s rights and
lefts. I am in favor of women vot
ing, provided they vote for me. I
see no reason why a woman should
not hold office, except, perhaps, the
difficulty of getting hold of it. Nor
should there be any bar to a woman’s
accumulating property and support
ing the family if she wants to.
I may bo asked how I would treat
the Indians. I wouldn’t “treat’’ them
at all. They have been treated too
much and too often. My private
opinion, however, is, that it will be a
treat when thero isn’t an Injun left.
I stand by the old constitution that
has been tried. Few men have tried
their constitutions more than I have
tried oiiue. I accept the amend
ments, every one of them. When it
comes to amends I am ready to shout
“amen” as loud as anybody.
1 understand there is an Ambitious
“COMING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS BEFORE! ”
man named George Francis Train,
who aspires to be President on his
promise to free Ireland. I engage
not only to free Ireland, hut to make
Irish whisky free in the bargain. I
shall at least be able to tie George
Francis in the popular vote, unless
one or the other of us keep away
from the polls, llang it, I believe I
could tie the Davenport brothers !
I shall inaugurate a wholesale
emancipation business as soon as I
am inagurated. No goods retailed
at the While House when I am
President. I engage to emancipate
women from the thraldom of fashion,
to give the “hoys” their rights, and
to abolish the custom which oxcludo.s
children in arms from the elevating
and purifying influences of the thea
tre. I have pledged myself to free
Ireland and free postage, to free
house-keepers from the tyranny of
servant girls ; free pews, free passes
and freebooters. To free soil, to free
tickets, to free shows, free drinks,
free press and “N. J. Free.” I trust
I am not making myself too free.
Don’t Depend on Father. —
Stand up here, young man, and let
us talk to you. You have trusted
alone to the contents of your
father’s purse, or his fair fame for
your influence or success in busi.
ness. Think you that “father”
has obtained eminence in his pro
fession Try unwearied industry ?
or that bo has amassed a fortune
honestly without energy and ac
tivity? You should know that
the faculty requisite for the ac
quiring of fame or fortune is es
sential to, nay inseparable from,
L'uc attaining of either of these.
Suppose “father” has “rocks” in
abundance, if you never earned
anything for him, you have no
snore business with these rocks
than a goslin has with a tortoise!
And if he allows you to meddle
with them until you have gained
them by your own industry, he
perpetrates untold mischief. And
if the old gentleman is lavish of
his cash towards Von, while lie is
allowing you to while away your
time, j'oii’d better leave him, yes,
run away, sooner than be a imbe
cile, or something worse, through
so corrupt an diligence! Sooner
or later you must learn to rely
upon your own resources, or you
will not be anybody.
Didn’t Like Mutton. —A good
story is told ol the recent excellent
performance of Handel’s Messiah at
the Broadway Baptist Church. A
farmer took his wife to hear the
grand music, so splendidly rendered
on that occasion, and, after listening
with apparent enjoyment, the pair
became suddenly interested in one of
the grand chorus: “We all, like
sheep, have gone astray.” First, a
sharp soprano vice exclaimed :
“We all, like sheep —”
“Next, a deep bass voice uttered,
in the most earnest tones :
“We all, like sheep—”
Then all the singers at oncehasserted:
“We all, like sheep —”
“Darned if Ido!” exclaimed old
rusticus to his partner. “I like beef
and bacon, but I can’t bear sheep
meat!”
There was an audible titter in that
immediate vicinity 7 , hut the splendid
music attracted attention from the
pair, and they quietly slipped out. —
Courier Journal.
Industrial Reform. —Labor is
the only source of wealth, to a great
extent the longevity of man. It is
labor which fertilizes the earth and
transforms the wild forest and uncul
tivated prairie into fruitful fields. It
s labor which builds our cities, con
structs our fleets, our roads, our
means of coneyance, which manu
factures our clothing, furnishes our
dwellings and produces our food. In
short which creates all objects of use
and luxury. Without labor, man is
a poor, helpless creature —the slave
of his physical wants and elements,
as well as the creation below him.
Thus labor is the source of all wealth,
of man’s material happiness, of his
power and of his health. It is the
means by which he fulfills Ids desti
ny of overseer of the globe, and in
the foundation of bis greatness.
An enterprising French woman
has imported one of Paris’s peculiar
institutions into London in the shape
of an “office for marriages,” which
undertakes to supply the needy with
matrimonial partners. Already the
enterprising proprietress is able to
publish in her advertisements testi
monials from an immense number ot
persons who have been satisfactorily
supplied with husbands and. wives,
and the business is steadily increas*
What of the Walt/.?
The Methodist has in a late Confer
ence tackled the festive waltz again !
In the contest of the Church with
the world wo have frequently been
inclined to believe that tho Church
was rather too strict in its demands
upon the younger and moia impul
sive members of its fold, and have
sometimes feared that by adopting
too much of the straight jacket sys
tem it might do -possibly less good
than a more liberal course would
have superinduced. But in the cru
sade against the waltz we heartily
strike hands with it.
“Miss , will you waltz with
me ?” says Adolphus.
“Well really, Mr. , ” hes
itatingly.
“Oh ; there's not a bit of harm in
it,” and otl they go in each other’s
arms.
“Sister,” says Adolphus, “if you
waltz with another man this evening
1 shall take 3011 homo at once”
“But, Brother, didn’t you waltz
with ?”
“Yes, hut lam a man; you are a
woman.”
“Well, hut ain't she awoman ?”
“Oh, pshaw, you know nothing
about it; just don’t you dance any
more ?"
And this is tho way with them all!
None of them totally approve of it;
yet all indulge a little. “It’s naugh
ty, naughty, but 011 ! so nice.”—
There’s no use denying that it is de
licious—having a rosy girl on your
arm, hei brown curls glistening
under your xery eyes, and that de
lightful aroma,always floating around
a belle, stealing up into your face ;
but, then, is it conducive to immor
tality ?
It is not!
What’s tlio difference (the real
difference) between sitting still with
your arm around a woman, and dan
cing with your arm around a woman?
Wo onco put this question to a friend
of ours !
“What’s the difference?" says we.
“Oh, it’s not the same thing at all!”
says he.
Maybe not; but we can’t see why
not!
The only argument needed against
the waltz, for sensible men, is that it
is a violation of the natural delicacy
that God puts in a young girl’s heart.
No girl ever dances the waltz with
a man the first time from a natural
impulse. On the contrary, there is
always a natural disinclination which
causes her to blush, when first asked,
to at first decline, and only yield upon
persuasion. And even when she has
gained her own consent, she still feels
doubtful of taking so wide a step
from what her woman’s heart tells
her is the light thing, that she must
see befoto she assays the new depart
ure, whether any of her respectable
friends are going to follow her lead !
Its against nature, we say ! It is
only cultivated in that society which
is the most fashionable, and far the
most artificial.
Imagine a party of our young
country lasses and laddies, who, with
the bloom of happy innocence upon
their cheeks, and the glorious dew
unbruslted from their lips, have been
romping through the ringing corners
of the cotillion, or racing through the
healthy rhapsodies of the Virginia
reel, suddenly transported to a fash
ionable parlor, where laced and
painted women were swinging on
men’s shoulders through the amorous
“German.” •
What would the country daises,
whose only teacher, and only inspi
ration was the great god of nature,
think of this scene ? We might learn
sound wisdom from the astonished
utterances of our country cousins.
They are natural, and hence pure
and safe. \Ye are not natural, and
hence—not natural !
The waltz is wrong, demoralizing
and extremely dangerous in its ten
d neies, and we trust it shall be many
a day before it is engrafted on South
ern society.
It is foolish aud suicidal to hide
behind that tinseled phrase, “Honi
suit qui maty pence.” He is a mis
erable doceplive coy to catch inno
cence !
“Evil be him who evil thinks.’’
Dangerous phrase : every word in it
is a coffin lid to a thousand pure
souls, and from beneath its velvet
syllables many a villain’s dagger has
found many a victim’s heart!
Its teaching is a honeyed lie, and
its letters are rose-leaves scattered
along the pathway down which gay
waltzers waltz on to ruin !
God help the Church in its crusade
against the mad dance, aud God save
the dancers!
The I’opc attained his 80th birth
day on the 13th of May.
[s2 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
Love’s DHiriuni—A I.cautiful
j <Jirl of Nineteen Poisons
| Herself in Pittsburg;.
Pittsburg, Pa., June 5, 1872.
Last night a young and beautiful
girl about nineteen years of age,
named Emilo Liembergcr, arrived at
tho Union Depot Hotel, and regis
tered her name as being from li.dli
more. She was attired in a hand
somely made traveling dress, and
wearing a jaunty hat, rielily trimmed,
and accompanied by a gentleman,
who, when she had been assigned to
her room, hade her good evening and
retired, remarking that ho had met
her on the cars and had merely at
tended her to the hotel as an act of
politeness due to a lady traveling
alone. She went to her room and
had her trunk sent there, ns is ordi
nal ily done, and there was nothing
unusual in her appearance or any of
her surroundings. About 3 o’clock
this morning a servant heard heavy,
lalnued breathing in the room occu
pied the young lady, and, the
forced respiration continuing, the
door was at length forced open.—
There the young traveler lay upon
the bed, and near by was a phial con
taining a small quantity of morphine,
and a physician stated that, judging
from the sizo of the bottle, the girl
must have taken enough of the drug
to have made over thirty ordinary
doses, ()f course there was not,
under the circumstances, the most
remote hope of relieving her from
its effects, and within two hours
from this time it was found she had
passed, in a slato of stupor, into the
realms of death. Why she commit
ted the fatal act is plainly developed
by sundry sentences entered in a note
hook found on her person. Many of
these acknowledged the receipt of
valuable presents from Fred Pilot,
who was theatrical agent for Madame
Janauschek, with wluse party Miss
Leimbergor is supposed to have trav
eled. Among other entries which
throw light on this sad ending of
. what should have been a bright
young life, are the following, all
written on leaves of the note hook
referred to, and evidently penned
more as part of a diary than with
' the intention of sending them to any
I particular address:
“1 have gone to rest; you shall
never see me again lor I am in a
happier land than you. I could not
I live any longer, for 1 would die of
grief to know that 1 love the man
that does not love me, and so I had
to make an end with me. Better to
die quiet than to die for grief and
trouble. You will never see me
again in this world, and that world
is Heaven. Keep this as a secret,
and lot never any one at all get this
book, for it is from a poor dying sin
ner; but take this little book and
keep it, if you will do and observe a
dead person’s wish ; so keep this lit
tle book. I will kiss you a thousand
times. Good bye. God bless you
and Madame. Hoping you will live
happier together, and wiil always re
member a poor sinner like me,
Em i lie.”
Then on another page—probably
written but a few short moments be
fore she concluded to tako poison
are written the following sentences:
I took my life on this 4th day of
June, 1872, for the man I love. I
love a dear man, and nobody can
tear him from mu, and this man is
Mr. Fred J’ilot.
The Assistant Coroner took charge
of the body. It is thought from
memoranda in the note book that
site has friends in St. Louis.
Some forty dollars were found
in the trunk, also some verv fine
jewelry aud a fashionable, costly
wardrobe.
Two little girls, an eight and
ten year-old, were gravely discuss
ing the question of wearing ear
rings. One thought it wicked.—
The other was sure it could not
be, for so many good people wear
them. The other replied: “Well,
I don’t care; if it wasn’t wicked
God would have made holes in our
cam.”
In a recent debate a member of
the California Legislature exclaimed :
“The honorable gentleman from Cla
veras county is undoubtedly a person
of great abilities, a man of talent, a
natural born genius; but there is one
thing I defy him to do, aud that is to
bite the boltom out of a fryingpan
without smutting his nose.”
An Irishman noticing a lady pass
down the street, espiod two strips de
pending from under her mantle. Not
know ing that those were stiled sash
es and were hanging in their right
place, ho exclaimed: “An* faith,
rna’m, yer galluses arc loose I’’
j WATER OK ADVERTISING
1 space 3 mo's. | C mo’s. I'2 mo’s.
Iqw re > 400 o •00 $ :*» 00
2»■ |'rs fi 00 10 00 15 0
]3sq is 800 14 00 20 00
| > 4 ' col. 12 to 2(1 00 1 30 (>(>
|*o col. 20 00 35 00 j GO 00
one col. 40 Oft 75 o" | lOH 00
The money for advertisements is due
on the first insertion.
A square is the spare of one inch in
depth of the column, irresjicctive of the
I number of lines.
Marriages and deaths, not exceeding
six lines published tree. For a nmn ad
vertising his wife, anil nil other personal
! matter, double rates will be charged.
No. 15.
Dan Rice’s Circus seems to be
“fighting its way” out west. At
Baxter Springs, Kansas, the constable
made an attempt to arrest an em
ploye. The constable was stopped
i by one of the proprietors of the
circus, who declared he should make
no anest under the tent of the com
pany. The constable was apparently
as they say out there, “spoiling for a
fight,” tor his only reply was to draw
a revolver from his pocket. His an
tagonist immediately did the same,
and for some moments there was, in
die arena, a lively time not put down
in the hills. It was especially un
pleasant to the spectators on the
benches, who did not lake that in
terest in the question in dispute they
might have done, had it been a more
personal matter.
Tbe constable and tho proprietor
of the circus, and several of the per
formers, as also an inoffensive spec
tator of the poetical name of Wig
gem, wore wounded. Then the cir
cus took its triumphal t march to
Fort Seoit, wlieie it “cleared out”
that town also, but for wliat cause
we are not told. In disturbances of
this kind the townspeople will, as a
general thing, be found 10 be in the
wrong,
Tbe Congregationiilist gir,s tbe
following warning to tbu younger
portion of womankind about the
strange men, whose lips are ns holier,
that lietli in wail for them in the
corners of the cars: “On 1 lie watch
for women as ha.l as themselves, or
for the young and unsophisticated, of
whom a villain might make a victim,
it is next to impossible for a voting
woman to enter a car unatUeudcd
without their knowledge. She is
fortunate if they make no more or
less cautious approaches to find out
who sho is, where she is going, and
whether she will tolerate the famili
arity of a stranger So numerous
are these men that it is with some
peril that a young woman undertakes
a long journey alone. The peril of
those who may he unfortified by
principles, or unacquainted with the
wavs of the world, or susceptible to
flatteries from a smooth longue, is
great.”
A Canny Scot. —On one occasion
a small laird was waited on hy a
neighbor, to request his name as an
accommodation to a hit bill for i!2O
at three months, which led to the
following characteristic colloquy :
“Na, na, I canna do that.” "Why
for no, lainl ; ye liae diuitie the same
thing for ilhers ?” “Aye, aye, Tarn
mas; hut theie’s wheels within
wheels ye ken naelhiug shoot; I
canna do’t.” * IFs a sine’ affair to
refuse me, laird.” “Weel, ye see,
Tainmas, if I was to put my name
til Ft ye wad get the siller frae the
hank, and when the time earn round
ye would na he ready, *nd I wad hae
to pay’t, sae then you and me would
hae to quarrel; sue we may just as
weel quarrel the 1100, as long a the
siller’s in rny pouch.”
——
“What are you digging there for?”
asked a loiterer of three men who
were digging a trench in tho street.
“Money, znr,” tho answer came. The
man watched the operators until tho
joke got through tho roots of his
luir and then moved on.
A misanthropic patagraphist writes:
“The touching spectable of a boy
leading home his parent was wit
nessed last week. The progress war
slow, however, as the hoy was con
siderable the drunker of the two."
A broom with a heavy handle was
sent as a wedding gift to a bride,
with the following sentiment :
•■This trifling gift accept from me,
It's use I would commend ;
In sunshine use the bushy part,
111 storm the other end."
—
“Mr. Smith, I wish to speak to
you privately. Permit me to take
you apart a few moments.” Smith
[who wasn’t the least frightened]—
“Certainly, sir, it' you’ll promise to
put me together again.”
“Why doesn’t your father tako a
newspaper l" asked a man of a little
boy, whom he found pilfering one
from his dooistep. “Cause he’d rath
er send me to take it,” was the reply.
■— ■■
“Look at the monkey 1” said Smith;
“Think of its being an undeveloped
human !” “Human!” said Jones,
contemptuously, “it is no more hu
man than I am.”
In an article on a recent Fair, the
editor of a piper says a brother edi
tor took a valtiablo premium ; but an
unkfnd policeman made him put it
right back where lie took it fiom.